Salcey Forest parkrun where unicorns prance and the sun always shines.

Up until today I thought the only parkrun with a naturalised endemic unicorn population was Bushy parkrun. The latter parkrun also having deer – including spectacular stags, parakeets and skylarks in season. And also potential celebrity sightings of PSH amongst others. However, every parkrun day provides edutainment, as well as community coffee opportunities, and now I know better. Salcey Forest parkrun has to have them. FACT! As you pass through the forest on the parkrun route, the cathedral like trees tower overhead and with brilliant sunshine above (sunshine guaranteed at this parkrun I feel sure), shafts of light penetrate the canopy to illuminate gorgeous glades and dancing wildflower heads at the sides of the trails. Everywhere you look there are inviting paths, massive fallen trunks and intriguing constructions and signs to lure you off the beaten track and further and further into the woods.

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Honestly, you can quite see how it children in fairy tales are want to wander ever deeper into such environments. In fairy tales, granted, it doesn’t always end well, but here, the forest surrounds are properly gorgeous. Ferns and mosses and wildflower borders abound, this has to be optimum unicorn habitat. Also, the forest feels vast, unicorns need quite a bit of space, and seem able to share it with Zog, ancient ‘druid oaks’ and an abundance of wildlife too. They are shy though, and whilst I’d properly swear I got a glimpse of a flying mane or flicking tail out of the very corner of my eye, catching just the briefest of glimpses as the impressive creatures galloped light-footed through some distant glade, There is one in this picture for sure, can you see it?

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Wait, you aren’t quite convinced. Sigh. Well, I’m ahead of you. I accept you may demand more physical proof. Well, dear reader, I have it!Not me to be fair, but the high vis hero who was on finish tokens duty at the parkrun today. It seems one of her duties as a volunteer is to clear the finish funnel of unicorn scat. It’s basic health and safety, as even if it lands ins attractively rainbow coloured droppings, it is still a potential slip hazard for sprinting parkrunners. If you don’t believe me, check out the volunteer grid. I think it’s recorded as ‘other’ on the roster and isn’t actually credited as ‘Unicorn Poop Scooper’ so an element of trust there I concede. Though it should be obvs, they have ‘Car Park Marshal’ after all, I guess it’s like the ‘Fluffy the Emu Wrangler’ role at Nambour parkrun Australia, a bit too niche to have as an option on the drop down menu for all events, but very real all the same.

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I think we can all agree that animal scat is a good indicator of animal populations in wildlife surveys, so why not believe the evidence of your eyes and check out the massive pile of unicorn poo that the volunteer collected. So much, that she was able to fashion it into an improvised stool (pun intended) so she could carry out her role seated and take home the bounty to put on her roses later. If you think ordinary horse manure is good for roses you should see the impact of unicorn droppings. It makes your roses rainbow coloured with glitter tipped petals, and they smell just divine. Take a bucket and some rubber gloves with you next time you are in the forest and you too might get lucky. Food for thought, I’m sure you’ll agree. Our finish token giver outer was a tad optimistic about the quantities unicorns produce though, she was never going to fill that whole bag for life to be fair, but fair play to her for her optimistic outlook, always a joy to behold. I wasn’t sure whether or not to tell her she’d smeared a bit of unicorn poo on her leggings though, I decided against, I mean she probably knew already, and if she didn’t well, why make her feel all self conscious about something she could do nothing about? Precisely.

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Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. It’s just that I was very excited about the unicorns, and if you take nothing else away from this account of Salcey Forest, remember that. Remember it, but also, don’t tell too many people, don’t want them getting spooked needlessly.

As my regular reader, you will know I always agonise over where to go for my parkrun fix. Needing places I can reach from Sheffield and that are parkwalker friendly, with nearby parking to limit how far I have to walk in addition to the completing the 5k. This week though, I was spared endless angst and indecision because the event choice was obvious. My EWFM and now parkrunner friend too had confirmed that she would confirmed by all to be an absolute cow by the end of her parkrun today and who would want to miss that? She’d chosen Salcey Forest parkrun as it is reachable for parkrunning friends coming down from oop norf or up from darn sarf. I would come from Sheffield, she would come from Londonshire, we could meet sort of in the middle. Fortunately, looking at the official Salcey Forest parkrun website blah de blah it did seem to also be a parkrun with all the things. Parking, cafe, forest etc.

The course is excitingly all one lap too:

Course Description – The course consists of one lap in a clockwise direction on a mixture of gravel and trail through the forest. The start and finish are close to the main car park, café and toilets. Trail shoes are advised during winter months or after periods of rain. Due to the terrain the course is only suitable for purpose built running buggies.

Facilities – Early bird parking (between 8am-11am) costs £3.

and it looks like this:

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So easy to remember as it looks a bit like, a bit like…. actually, I have no idea what it looks like. The wrong trousers half heartedly drawn as in Wallace and Gromit? Does that help at all? Or the tail end of a cut in half mermaid, washed up on a beach and partially decomposed? Possibly not, but the thing is there are lots of smiling marshals and where marshals fear to tread there are lots of cones so no worries.

Oh actually, I think it’s worth giving some blah de blah from the Salcey Forest official website too. There’s loads to do there, and this write up won’t do even the parkrun justice, let alone the whole Forest.

‘Located only 7 miles from the centre of Northampton, Salcey Forest is an oasis of nature and history, This magnificent woodland has many miles of ancient wood banks, building remains and ancient trees. The ‘druids’, or veteran oaks, are rare and amazing wildlife habitats, and some of the old oaks are over 600 years old. See what you can spot on your visit to the medieval royal hunting forest. We’ve got endless walking trails, a family cycling trail, adventure play area and even an onsite café selling tasty homemade meals and cakes in a warm, friendly environment.]

You need to go and explore for yourself really, look out for Zog trails too. Unicorns and speedy parkruns aren’t the only things flying around Salcey Forest of a Saturday morning you’ll find.

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What’s that. You are worried about me calling my friend a complete cow? But she was going to be, she now is! It’s true! She is definitively a complete cow now and she is owning it. The thing is, some parkrunners like to get out and about and visit different parkrun venues. It’s a great way to meet up with parkrunning buddies you’ve acquired on line over the years and also to see parts of the country you might never otherwise visit. Welcome to the parallel universe that is parkrun tourism. It was years before I twigged that this was a thing and fun too. My EWFM has been a faster learner than I, embracing parkrun tourism from the off. So it is today was the occasion of her fiftieth different parkrun venue. I know, exciting! The first parkrunner to complete 100 distinct parkrun venues was somebody by the name of Cowell, so to complete one hundred different parkruns is to complete your Cowell. To complete fifty, i.e. half of them – are you getting this now – is to complete the Cow. See what they’ve done there. I know, clever. So it was, should my parkrunning buddy moove round the course as plan she’d be a confirmed cow at the end of it. This, naturally enough, was a cause for celebration. Cup cakes would be lovingly baked and brought; companions would be in attendance, many would gather. Hurrah!

There was some pre event angst, as in the lead up to the event it was looking low on volunteers. Many parkruns have seemed to struggle to get enough high vis heroes for their events post pandemic. It’s hard not to find this dispiriting at times. A fair few have had to cancel, or gone ahead and faced grumbling from participants when things don’t go smoothly because they are too short of help to have everything run smoothly. Case in point Cardiff parkrun last week which someone attended and then complained because the finish funnel was disorganised, when the poor team at Cardiff had been begging for volunteers all week, considered cancelling, then gamely went ahead with very limited help only to get grief from a parktouristing visitor. Not a good look. It’s easy to see why the most dedicated of core team volunteers end up getting burnt out. Anyway, a gracious call for more help went out. Nice work on their social media channels I think we can all agree

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As a fair few of us wanted to make sure the bovine transfiguration came to pass satisfactorily, it meant a number of us would be gracing the forest. Word went round and hands went up, various people messaged in to offer their services. This included the parents of a parkrunning friend who resides in Germany. Producer of the legendary entertainment that is the Quarantine Quiz. A bilingual quiz for and by parkrunners, compered by fancy dress sporting and 3d printing genius it is worth a watch. Grew out of the pandemic and endures. The questions have nothing whatsoever to do with parkrun, but are posed by parkrunners, often from parkrun destinations, check it out. Like and subscribe etc. The producer’s mum and dad reside in Northampton, but a stone’s throw(ish) from this parkrun and they too would come along. One to complete the parkrun and one to volunteer, hurrah! The rota looked a lot healthier, it would be cow a go go. Which is good in this context. New experiences for some, possibly for us all, as I think the whole cow herd were newbies to the venue. How exciting!

I lay awake all night largely due to usual insomnia, but also pimped up by worrying about over sleeping and a dash of being excited about how the day would unfold. When the alarm went off at stupid o’clock I was already wide awake, and had been listening to an increasingly rowdy dawn chorus through my open bedroom window for some time. Up and out before I had a chance to overthink the small hours issue. It was promising to be a bright sunshiney day, but with some early morning fog on the way down, that soon burnt away. The drive from Sheffield was over long, but straightforward. One diversion and had to pass one horrific looking accident on the motorway going down to Northampton. The sort that makes you shudder to behold.

I arrived in good time, and the venue is easy to find being well sign posted. I parked up near the cafe and visitors’ centre area but in fact you can park a bit closer to the start if you arrive fractionally later and have the car park marshal in situ to wave you on. It makes little odds though, either way. I was confused by the parking metres. The first one I approached was coins only, then if you go round the block there was one that took cards. A further machine at the car park nearest the start required you to download a parking app WHICH IS REALLY ANNOYING, though you can also pay by phoning I think. It’s just three pounds for Saturday morning early bird, which is fair enough, and takes you to 11, which allows for a certain amount of post parkrun faffing but possibly not enough for all. The other big win, is lots of loos for the mandatory for me precautionary pee. I was especially grateful for this after the long drive. Apart from the fact that I wasn’t clever enough to operate the taps – but nor was the other woman availing herself of the facilities to be fair – it was in good order. Spoiler alert, we worked it out between us, but I still think the water pressure wasn’t reaching all the sinks. Leave enough time to fathom the plumbing before hand is my advice, otherwise you might be waving your hand in entirely the wrong dimension.

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Parked up, I asked the kindly marshal for directions to the start, which she patiently gave. As I glanced in the direction she was pointing in I could see a sea of parkrun pink, and all was well with the world. I ambled towards the parkrun posse, passed the ‘caution runners’ signs and through the metaphorical looking glass into the parallel parkrun universe for a morning of forest bathing, cakery and chootling (chatting and pootling) what’s not to like?

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One of our number was to be parkwalking, but alas, had woken practically blinded by an insect bite overnight. Disaster! I had brought jam jars all the way from Sheffield to pass on to her! Oh, and it looked both spectacular and agonising. Have you ever seen any of those reality TV shows about botched cosmetic surgery? It was the before correction picture, not gonna lie. Anyway, I went to ask the RD if anyone was needed given she couldn’t come and I’d be walking anyway. Actually, someone else had already volunteered to fill the breach, but I could too, albeit the blue high vis – which everyone knows is the most flattering of the options available – had already been bagsied, so I’d have to improvise with the pink. No great hardship there, in fact a win, as in honesty I am the slowest participant anyway, so ended up flying the walking flag by valiantly walking and talking – twalking – round with my EWFM cow bestie, but hey, making walking visible at parkrun is still a desirable outcome isn’t it, so all the yays,.

High vis donned, there was the important work of pre parkrun photo taking. It has to be done. Here are some (of many) offerings, have you spotted the nearly a complete cow participant yet. It’s like looking for unicorns in the ancient forests, you think it will be impossible, but once you get your eye in, there’s no mistaking it. We were in for a devil of a time!

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Once we’d done all our meeting and greeting, and round one of our photo taking, a call went up for the first timers’ welcome. A tourist was undertaking this role too. I was a bit dubious about how easy this would be for a tourist, but turns out, she has completed the course previously, and is also a hugely experienced volunteer so of course it was a splendid welcome and intro. The route is apparently basically left, right, right, left, right again, left right etc. …. or, just keep faith in the marshals! They are at every single turn point bar one, where there is an embarrassment of riches cones wise so really no getting lost unless you charge ever onward pushing marshals aside in your hurry to pb. It was a jolly mood. There were milestones and tourists – including from Cardiff actually, now I come to think of it, and a pleasing scattering of first time everers. An attentive semi circle of new to Salcey Forest tourists listened and then moved aside so the first time everers, of whom I think there were 8, could have a separate intro to how it all worked.

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It was a tight ship, and as soon as the first timers’ had been satisfactorily briefed and welcomed, it was time for the Run Director’s briefing. Again, this was very positive, and very thorough. Tourists were welcomed. The wannabee cow was identified for their very own round of applause, milestone runners and volunteers were acknowledged and applauded. The RDs canine companion was an enthusiastic participant and so was led away to be less distracting, were they made their disappointment evident. Being separated from your companion human is a tough call it seems.

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As the path can be a bit narrow (actually it’s a great width) the RD called people forward to make their way down to the start in order of expected times. Pleasingly, those of us expected to complete in over 35 minutes were referred to as ‘the elite runners’. We elites liked this a lot.

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So parkrunners ready, timers ready, and then awf we went, the finish team watching us disappear down the arch of trees into the land of moss and stone and unicorn and ancient oaks. The timers moving back to the finish funnel area as we departed on our 5k romp round the trails.

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Actually, that photo might have been towards the end of the parkrun with parkrunners returning triumphant, but a bit of artistic licence between parkrunning friends is allowable I’m sure. Awf we went. I slotted in at the back with my nearly a cow companion. It’s nice having a cow to walk alongside, they are soothing to be around. No wonder Jack had such a hard time parting with his cow. Personally, I wouldn’t have sold my cow for any number of beans, not even magic ones. A cow is for life not just for Christmas.

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As it is a one lap course, and me and the nearly cow were mooving slowly at a walk, very quickly the other parkrunners streamed ahead out of sight. You literally don’t see them again, well not until after you’ve finished, I don’t mean they were abducted by aliens and transported to a parallel universe as soon as they got round the first corner, that would be silly. Rather, they did their thing and we did ours. Some even managed en route selfies, hurrah!

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It was an astonishing walk. The forest is truly breathtaking, and although at intervals there were cheery marshals to point us on our way, there seemed to be no-one else about at all. A distant dog walker maybe – the aforementioned unicorns, obvs, but basically we had this wonderland all to ourselves. We were pretty much right at the back, with just the tailwalker behind sweeping the course. He was collecting cones and things as other marshals stood down, including I imagine, winding up bunting, and was a little distance behind. This meant we walked and talked at our own pace, and got to really appreciate our surroundings. Never having been before, I can only assume the forest is always this lovely, with sunshine and every variation on green in the colour spectrum you can possibly imagine and then some more. It smelt nice too. So did my cowmpanion, only she said it can’t have been her smelling all that fragrant in truth, so it must have been her laundry detergent. I do really, really like the smell of freshly washed, air dried laundry. Right up there with coffee and toast in the morning.

Here are some of the friendly marshals who nailed the directional pointing, photogenic posing and generic cheeriness on the way round. It was a good day for standing in a pool of forest sunshine. There would have been quite a gap between us and the last of the parkrunners, but I choose to think waiting for us would have been an opportunity for quiet meditation and listening out for all the sounds of the forest. An exercise in mindfulness.

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And here are some of the many sights we saw or passed en route.

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It was very, very hard to exercise the necessary self discipline to stay on track, with so many intriguing possibilities luring us away. We may have experimented with the see saw to see if it would see saw. It did! Quite spectacularly. I was quite relieved I’d delegated the testing responsibilities to my more able bodied cowmpanion. She aced it. Could maybe have done a bit more of triumphant arms flung outwards on the dismount, but no face planting or obvious injury, so definitely an 8 at least. Well done.

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Twalking is most therapeutic, meditative even. Consequently we were caught unawares when the finish funnel ‘suddenly’ appeared. Fortunately, the team were on high alert in cheery readiness for us. Triumphant we entered the funnel, clicked in, hurrah!

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Shot out of the funnel, we were scanned, and then there was the important business of the cake. I did tell you, cakes had been baked and bought, and the master baker had kept them all safely til the cow came home, so she could break open the Tupperware and dispense her offerings with smiles. They were vegan cakes, cow coloured (well sort of, cows come in many colours after all) and some were gluten free and others presumably had extra gluten. All dietary needs catered for. Happy smiles in abundance as the offerings were passed around. Hurrah!

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Assisted by the sugar high, the business of uploading scan files, gathering up tokens to be sorted and taking down of the funnel was soon underway.

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Crucially though, we managed to pose for the mandatory group shot with the selfie frame before it was also packed away.

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Next stop was the cafe, but en route we passed the most brilliant sign of a load of children sitting on a log, eating cake. I was keen to do a group reconstruction, as we had some parkrunners who would have been an absolute shoo in for some of those casting opportunities. Next time maybe, today, the pull of the prospect of coffee was too strong.

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We left the regulars doing their final tidying up – we did offer to help, but they had it nailed without us, and you know what, it’s not really helping unless you are actually being helpful, too many cooks and all that. We called our thanks though, and they looked happy in their labours. Not just happy to wave us off I think. There had been cake after all. parkrun was always about the cake wasn’t it. Oh no, wait, coffee, always about the coffee. Same thing though really.

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We arrived at the coffee, via a little celebratory outdoor cake moment. The cafe very kindly allowed us to take our cakes inside – we did buy toasties various and drinks and things. Point of information, the only downside of this whole morning, but has to be declared because of the mismatch between expectations generated by the general ambience of the place, presentation of hot beverages and the crushing reality of what was served up, this parkrun venue had quite possibly the worst coffee I’ve ever had at a parkrun apart from at Doncaster parkrun At Doncaster I actually left the coffee undrunk, the coffee here I did consume, but it got nastier with every mouthful. Shame, as the cafe was ace for customer service, cleanliness etc, and vegan options. Bit limited for breakfast choices but fundamentally fine. I digress, we need more pictures, here is the outsidey part:

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Do you like the card with the cow on it? I bought it specially moo-ns ago (see what I did there? Quite proud of that one), in anticipation of just this occasion, very proud of it. Also, quite relieved, as when the time finally came to use it, I thought I’d lost it, there was much late night rummaging I don’t mind admitting!

Then into the cafe, where two of our number had volunteered for token sorting. One token at least had gone awol 86 from memory, but what was really odd, was that the spare number 86 was also missing, and the spare for the spare, and the spare for that one too. How bizarre. A repeat offender? Some secret society’s initiation ceremony, sacred to unicorns or Zog? We may never know. I must google ‘what is so great about the number 86’ to see if I can find out why… ok, I have, it’s associated with all your problems vanishing, which is clearly nonsense, as it’s a big problem for event teams if token magpies are present at an event. Also, weirdly, I’ve not come across this phenomenon before anywhere else. Strange, but true!

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The Freyne Club? That’s for 250 different venues. I know, very impressive. I got to join in on venue number 249 at Millhouses parkrun. There’s a story about that – another time maybe…

And then that was that. I would have stayed a bit longer, but suddenly discovered it isn’t three hours parking on a Saturday morning it’s until 11 a.m. and at 10.59 a.m. I realised if I lingered I’d turn into a pumpkin or something, also needed to get back really, guests checking out and always wise to be home to safety before my leg starts operating either independently or not at all. It has a (deranged) mind of its own at times. Still, one should always leave one’s audience wanting more, isn’t that the saying? Salcey Forest has certainly achieved that, definitely one of my favourites. I’ve loved all the forest parkruns I’ve done, there is something calming about them, particularly the more established ones, you get some sense of perspective perhaps, trees can live for centuries, things that seem to matter right now maybe really don’t in the grand scheme of things.

And so I waved goodbye and wended my way home.

Thanks Salcey Forest parkrun, you were fab. Oh, and if you dear reader want their official event report for triangulation purposes, you will find it on their Facebook page here:

And parkrunner twalking buddy, well done for being such a cow. You did yourself proud!

Same again next week somewhere?

In the meantime, if you want to prolong your parkrun fix, you could always browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.

Hope you find a forest of your own to bathe in sometime soon. Catch them while you can. Not sure they have as many years left in the future as they have stood for in the past. Maybe if you find a particularly nice tree, take the time to give it an appreciative hug. It will make you feel all nice and warm and squidgy inside. Bits of bark might get down your top and be a bit itchy, and you could end up with some leaf litter in your shoes, but it’s fundamentally grounding, give it a try. Thank me later. You’re welcome.

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PS did I mention the extra fluffy dog? Amazing! A quarter spaniel, three quarters yeti. Nice.

Jolly Jovial Jocular Jubilee parkrun #100

Well, that was most satisfactory.

Jubilee parkrun has been on my vague ‘to do’ list for ages, in honesty, largely because of the alphabet challenge, but also new place to visit, good vibes, in reach of Sheffield, the usual tick list of gloriousness. I picked this week because who wants to go to Norway for their extra parkrun day anyway, bet they don’t get complementary rhubarb at the end, or even rude vegetables I would imagine. Did you know that ‘Rhubarb is technically a vegetable, but is legally considered a fruit. In 1947 a New York court declared rhubarb a fruit because it’s most often cooked as one in the United States’, well it is according to Huffpost, which is good enough for me. Also, today was the occasion of their 100th event, and therefore officially party time. Or would be according to their most recent Facebook post.

Balloons a boon for sure. I do like a pop up parkrun party. I’d get to complete my alphabet, which is officially a thing what’s not to like.

Apart from the stupid o’clock start that is. Having said that, as a chronic insomniac, I’m usually just lying awake wishing I wasn’t, awake that is, so having a purpose to get up for in the small hours is also a boon. I was awake from about 4.00 and there were the most amazingly noisy birds at that time. A couple of owls, though some calls I couldn’t recognise at all, giving way to a rousing dawn chorus. It looked like it was going to be a bright sunshiny day too, hurrah. I headed off up the M1 feeling uncharacteristically cheery. The sun was burning off a deep mist, and it was gorgeous out. Or it was for the first bit, as we got further north it gave way to a less than cheery mizzle and fog, but that’s ok too, because rain is good. I hadn’t checked much in advance beyond a postcode to head to. I read that there was free parking in the town centre too, walking distance from the park, but was hoping I’d get near to the park as I worry about adding on extra walking to a parkrun distance. In fact, as I approached the postcode, I saw signs for free parking in one direction and to the Jubilee Park in the other, so figured it really wasn’t far at all, so parked up. There seemed to be ample parking, though I was a bit confused by the prevalence of royal mail red postal vans, which made me wonder if I’d encroached on their parking. But fear not dear reader, I hadn’t it was fine, it was free, and it was but a very short walk to the park gates, even by my somewhat feeble walking endurance standards.

Here it is, the entrance to the park, oooh, exciting!

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See that sign? More of that later.

But I’m ahead of myself. I’ve been now, but you might not have been, so let’s check out the course blah de blah on the official Jubilee parkrun website, and the map too, which is pretty hilarious.

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The course is at Jubilee Park, Spennymoor. The course is run on a mixture of tarmac paths and grass.

Start at the bottom of the park next to the Villiers Street entrance. Travelling in a clockwise direction, complete 3 full laps plus 1 part lap to finish at the top of the park next to the bowls green. The course is an undulating mixture of grass and paths. Trail shoes may be advisable in the winter. Unfortunately dogs are not allowed at this event.

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OK, that sounds straightforward…. however, it looks like this:-

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which is basically headache inducing. Not even sure if they’ve printed the map the right way up to be fair. Hurrah for marshals, they will be much needed here. A rare benefit of being a walker at parkrun is I don’t have to worry about being a pathfinder on an unfamiliar course, this looks complicated.

In I went, and it was a revelation. This is a pretty bijou park it’s fair to say, a true pocket park, but it was beautifully landscaped. Colourful packed displays of planting in formal beds set off traditional features like a rather fine bandstand. Then there were contemporary additions like a play area, a formal arch for the Jubilee of 2000, though in fact this is Victoria Park not one for Elizabeth II as I’d assumed. There is a skate boarding area, a Victoria train station, all the things! Also, this sign, which amused me…

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It was the reference to no person whilst in the park shall – ‘play unauthorised golf’. Is this a known public disorder offence in these parts. I was very confused. Confused that is, until I stumbled on the in situ crazy golf course. This is genius, and probably merits a trip all on its own. It’s a carefully landscaped area, designed around the ‘accomplishments’ of the Victorian age. I say ‘accomplishments’ but presented as it was, a moment in history for every hole, was genuinely educational, let’s just go with it wasn’t an especially woke time. Kudos to whoever designed this feature though, edutainment at its best, much like parkrun itself!

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This made a bit more sense of the golfing directive. Other directives were also made very clear:

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Fair enough, a lot of work had gone into the planting schemes just look:

But although you could not ‘tread, mosey, hop, trample, step, plod, tiptoe, trot, meander, creep, prance, amble, jog, trudge, march, stomp, toddle, jump, stumble, trod, sprint or walk on the plants, parkrun takes a different view. With the possible exception of trampling (it’s definitely frowned on to mow down other park users or fellow parkrunners as you participate so to go on to trample them altogether would definitely lead to tuts and passive aggressive sighing from fellow parkrunners at the very least) – you can complete a parkrun however you like. Which is lucky for me as I’m definitely a plodder at present.

Despite being a plodder, the park itself invited a bit of pre parkrun exploration. I was super impressed to find cones and signs already in situ, volunteers were also very focused on balloon tying and bunting display. Jazzing it all up joyfully you might say. I helped hugely by holding one end of a strip of bunting to assist in its disentanglement, and then securing it in situ with a bow under the direction of others. Every little helps, hopefully 🙂

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Even more excitingly, some had broken out the bubbles. I know! Epic.

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All looking very promising, but wait, there was more! There was a large set of buildings adjacent to the finish funnel and immaculately manicured bowling green. In it were loos, hurrah. Also clean and ample in number, with one of those automated soap, water hand driers. That in itself is perhaps unremarkable, we are used to such fripperies and indulgences in this decadent age. What was eye catching though was the laser light show as the machine operated. No really, it was quite astonishing, whether this lumiere display was in honour of the 100th parkrun or a regular occurrence I have no idea, you’ll have to go back and check it out for yourself. Prepare yourself to be truly amazed, the wonder of discovery at a new to you parkrun continues to be delivered. Here is a teaser, doesn’t really do it justice, I failed to capture the glitter ball for example, but you should get the gist. What brave new world is this indeed!

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Please don’t tell me I need to get out more, such slights degrade you, not me. Just sayin’

Ablutions completed, I followed the direction of the balloon and sign carrier to locate the start area, which wasn’t too hard to find on account of it being right near the gates you have previously entered.

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The pictures aren’t really capturing the ambience of the park. I admit, my heart sank a bit when I realised it was essentially a four lapper but honestly, the park is so full of little corners of interest, and zig zagging paths there is something to see at every point on the park. Add in balloons and cheering marshals and it’s just as well you get to go round more than once or you’d miss so much of the good stuff. Spring flowers in wildlife areas, formal beds, stone staircases and iron arches, it has it all. Add to this the fact the the event team are on a role with the celebrations and you have it made. They celebrated their flake run (number 99) last week, today is their 100th event (obvs) and then next week they will no doubt have the bunting out all over again for the coronation celebrations, with a name like Jubilee parkun how could they not?

Despite the rarity of the letter ‘J’ in parkrun land, this wasn’t a massive parkrun by any means. Small and perfectly formed. A call went up to welcome first timers, and a group of us duly assembled. Tourists had come from all over, I think from Dorset was the furthest but I lost concentration so might have hallucinated that. Also, I was distracted by the hugely exciting combo of milestone parkrunners. There was an adult on his 100th parkrun, accompanied by a junior on his FIRST EVER parkrun and another junior with a sign on proclaiming his 7th parkrun. This innovation is splendid! Numbers are pretty arbitrary so we should basically celebrate them all, hurrah! Loving the signage, genius. Our official welcomer explained that the purpose of the first timers’ briefing is to make the course sound as complicated as possible. It is really hard to describe to be fair, but when you come to complete it, it does make sense, the magic combo of marshals pointing and cunning cone placement mean it would be really difficult to get lost. This part of the briefing was reassuring. We were also forewarned though that although the park appears pretty flat, there is a bit of a gradient which, in conjunction with the multi-lap routing means you basically run up the same hill 8 times. It’s true, it is deceptive in that respect, good to be warned. Anyway, all very helpful and very jolly, with a backdrop of other volunteers perfecting the event decor. Those numbered balloons won’t hang themselves!

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We were all jumping up and down with excitement at the prospect of our Jubilee Jog or Jeff around. I was mostly jumping on the inside.

Next stop was photo posing, well it was an especially photo worthy occasion. Jolly balloons, jaunty volunteers, a jam packed parkrun awaited us. Here though first are the high vis heroes!

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Aren’t they lovely? Of course they are.

It wasn’t even raining, positively clearing up, despite a bit of a nip in the air earlier. I tried to get the volunteers jump on three for a photo, but it wasn’t really their thing. However, judging by the roar of laughter that went up from alongside in the start funnel behind me I have a strong suspicion the run director may have had a shot at getting airborne, I’d like to have seen that, maybe next time.

Run Director’s briefing followed. It was really good. It covered a bit of the history of how the parkrun started up, which of course I have now almost entirely forgotten. I do know that but for the pandemic they’d have had a lot more parkruns under their name, I have a feeling it’s start was delayed by the whole lockdown thing. There were the usual thanks. The park is exceptionally well maintained, it looked like someone was doing a litter pick and restoring some flowers to beds where they had been rudely ripped up by some ne’er do well the night before even as we gathered. Welcomes to tourists, milestone shout outs. I don’t think anything was missed. Oh – the no dogs thing for this particular parkrun – it is a park rule, and also adults were instructed to keep up with their accompanying juniors. And cake at the end, by the finish. A great incentive to get around. All good. Then the call went out ‘timers ready?’ ‘Yep’ then we were awf!

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And off went all the parkrunners, one marshal scampered balloon laden to her marshal point, and I tucked in towards the back. You start up a gradient, but a chalked sign reminds you to keep going, and then a bubble monitor at the top of the slope guided you onto a grass section to the right, down hill, past daffodils and more bubbles, a veritable bubble path on the way round should you wish it, and then a bit of a cone directed zig and marshal directed zag and back up the hill the other side. It makes perfect sense in the doing, but none whatsoever in the describing of. You’ll just have to jog along and tackle it yourself.

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You soar by a children’s play area, formal planting, the mini golf course, and up to the point where there is a marshal you pass by three times and then on the fourth occasion turn sharply into the finish tunnel. It is important to be able to count to three and remember what your count is as it is a tad disorientating with everyone else also parkrunning around in all directions, harder than you think to count to three sometimes. Fun though. I liked that you passed marshals more than once, though after the first lap some had repositioned themselves to support the finish funnel high japery. Cones remained in situ though, and it was fine to navigate around once everyone was in motion, pretty much always someone to follow.

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There was a good vibe to the parkrun. Passing parkrunners called encouragement, and the volunteers appeared to be genuinely having a ball. Music was playing near the finish area, and at one point I could hear ‘Come On Eileen‘ blaring out from the sound system whilst Team Bubble were giving a stirring rendition of ‘I’m forever blowing bubbles‘ I do appreciate a bit of gusto at a parkrun and Jubilee was jam-packed with jollity and enthusiasm along those lines! I tried to take photos on the way round, a smorgasbord follows, including some taken by others on the day too. I’ve borrowed from the Jubilee parkrun facebook page, I’m sure they won’t mind too much.

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Maybe the pictures are in fact beginning to put you in the picture. I’m hoping so.

As I was lapped I suddenly spotted some familiar merchandise – a buff linked to the With Me Now podcast – About parkrun passion by passionate parkrunners. It’s a weekly podcast about all things parkrun, and has just had its 250th pod, which is no mean feat. It’s worth a listen if you like to keep up with parkrun related news and hear about other parkruns. More importantly, it has a community of listeners who got to know one another especially during the lockdown period when the With Me Now team astonishingly, managed to do pretty much daily live streams just to keep people connected. That could be a bit of parkrunpedia (history of particular parkrun courses); parkrun pictionary; parkrun pets; parkrun people; allsorts really. It’s led to really strong friendships and much sharing of parkrun tourism adventuring now we are free to go out and about. Give it a listen, but in the meantime, shout outs to these fellow podders, even though I hadn’t met them before, I feel we belong to the same tribe! ‘Dolly or Bev!’ I don’t often see With Me Now merchandise in the wild!

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Oh, and I also thought the floral planting display looked a bit like the With Me Now logo, so that seemed especially apt too.

Where was I, oh yes, making my way around the course. It did feel like more uphill than down, which I know can’t be true but well, just saying. I did most of the first three laps in limbo land between the parkwalker ahead and the tailwalker behind, but for the final one I dropped back a little to join the tailwalker. It was nice to chat to a key member of the team who takes pride in welcoming walkers every week. Accompanying us was someone who used to live in Spennymoor but moved away and was back visiting, so I was in safe hands. The final loop went quickly. We passed the gathered parkrunners who had already finished and were having a nice social parkrun party. Marshals stood down as we passed, and cones were collected and balloons gathered in. The last of the bubbles distributed, and the final parkrunners flew home down the finish funnel.

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Eventually, I joined them, hurrah!

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It’s weird that just as parkruns always surprise me by starting, they equally catch me out at the finish. It all feels a bit abrupt. You’ve made friends with lovely people and lost your heart a bit to a new lovely place and then it’s all over, no sooner seemingly than it has begun! Oh well, timed in, scanned, and all done…

except it wasn’t! This was the parkrun that keeps on giving. More surprises.

The biggest surprise was finding there was still cake and flakes and sweets aplenty for us final finishers. Also more 100 decorations AND (and I really like this idea) a visitors book too! Beautifully made, that I was encouraged to sign, and duly did. Others had too. I like this innovation, I’ve not really come across it, and it’s hard to implement I think, but was done well here. But dear reader, there’s more! Rhubarb! Lots of rhubarb! An abundance harvested from one of the core team’s allotments. I was encouraged to help myself and did so with enthusiasm. I don’t know if there is always such rich pickings, but it wouldn’t surprise me if there were.

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There isn’t a cafe on site unfortunately, though I was encouraged to join them at another cafe, which I couldn’t because I needed to get back, and really was feeling it a bit, it is the driving as much as the walking unfortunately, and I was flagging. However, for future reference fellow tourists, on the first Saturday of the month, there is a more deliberate get together at the cafe linked to a nearby Methodist Church, so for any massive parkfaffers out there, that’s probably the Saturday to choose.

Having said that, I think I chose pretty well, I was a jammy parkrunner to jog up to Jubilee parkrun for jovial celebrations today!

Thank you all for the lovely welcome and jolly Jubilee park. Hope our parkrun paths cross again soon. Hope you have a good one next week- how could you not! I shall be marking the coronation celebrations by eating my body weight in rhubarb crumble, it’s going to be grand. #loverhubarb They really should make more of this availability of rhubarb as Jubilee parkrun’s USP, or maybe it is just a merry Jubilee Jape on their part, to keep the element of surprise? I hope I haven’t spoilt it.

Thanks for staying with me, hope you’ve had jolly japes wherever you went even if you didn’t get to have a full on personalised bubble bathing experience on the way round. I’m sure wherever you were was jolly nice in its own way.

Usual reminder you can browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.

May you too stumble on a parkrun with surprise offering at the finish, I’m delighted with my rhubarb, but whatever floats your boat. Every parkrun will give you the warm glow of a shared experience and memories to treasure, even if it cannot guarantee to deliver on a fruit fix every time. Still not a bad return for our free, weekly, timed fix.

Same time next week then, at a parkrun near you? Good oh. 🙂

You can dance, you can jive and you can parkrun at Hackney Marshes. Abbasolutely fantastic voyage of discovery!

I’m not joking when I tell you that Hackney Marshes parkrun was ABBAsolutely Awesome! I’m really happy that we made it to this venue, especially when you hear how some people got on on their parkrun day. There was a particularly disgruntled post by someone who’d gone to Royston Vasey parkrun and had a terrible time, as that one is a local parkrun just for local people apparently. Hackney Marshes is of course a local parkrun for local people too, but also very welcoming of first timers it seems, so good shout. We truly were having the time of our lives this weekend with Londonshire adventures!

Thoughtful regulars too, see how that guy is trying to tiptoe past unseen? I think he’s trying to get to the communal yoga mat the team put out for you so you can have a pre-parkrun stretch if the mood takes you.

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I’d been a bit apprehensive about this weekend. It was going to be a whole night away in Londonshire, and last time I had such an adventure it wiped me out entirely. For a whole week afterwards I was barely functioning. I’m better than I was for sure, but my health feels precarious. I have very little stamina and it doesn’t take much exertion to knock me out for several days following. Going away for an ABBA voyager dance off AND a parkrun seemed crazy, but then again, an opportunity too good to miss. I decided the only fair thing to do was to come clean with my co-conspirator and party planner. Wasn’t sure if I’d make it through the night. Fortunately dear reader, she was awesome. Pointing out it wouldn’t matter one bit if I popped my clogs at an ABBA concert, in fact what an awesome way to go. She’s trained in care work so wouldn’t be remotely phased and would (obvs waiting til the concert had concluded to avoid ruining it for everyone else) spring into trouble shooting capable action to sort stuff. Also, she’s pretty canny, I would abbasolutely have given consent for her to try to blag some comp VIP tickets to go back another time to help her recover from this trauma. I’m not quite sure how a backstage pass would work with avatars, but worth a punt. And as for giving up the ghost at parkrun, I know for an actual fact someone would have the wit to scan my barcode and that would be splendid too. I’d probably make the parkrun blog, and would posthumously use this performative death to manipulate more parkrunners donning fancy dress, and indeed ABBA Voyager concert goers as well. Not many had made the effort, I was shocked. I would say ‘each to their own’ but really? Point is, transparency paid, it was going to be a road trip from Sheffield darn south, a decadent afternoon, overdoing the blue eyeshadow, trot to the ABBA Arena – my it was windy. And wet. So much wetness, falling from sky, or more accurately slamming into us from the side. Then, security checks passed, into to the mosh pit to throw some moves, singalonga like nobody was watching, which they weren’t, or they were, they didn’t care, then sashey back to the hotel for cheap prosecco and debrief with just one more sleep to new parkrun day. All went well, we had a fABBAlous time, well worth any physical damage to be experienced over the coming days. The thing is, whilst it’s possible to do many things alone, it’s just harder. I can get a spider out the bath these days, but it will take several goes. Same with opening prosecco, I can manage, but it’s just so much more fun with a buddy to open it for you and share the fun. So it is with an ABBA Voyager outing, you could go on your own, of course you could, but having a co-adventurer is double the fun. It’s a boon if your companion happens to be an epic Dancing Queen too, the appreciation was mutual!

Also, I now have a smartphone. Yes, I know, it’s taken a while. I have been threatening this for some time, but now at last the deed is done! This means finally I can take decent photos and pay for things like a grown up by waving my smart phone over contactless machines. I suppose it is good to have finally joined the digital age and access treats such as whatsapp and the 5k running app. Unfortunately, I still don’t really know how to use it, and my failing eyesight and fat fingers combo gives some communications a significant element of surprise, oh well, keeps everyone on their toes and adds novelty to the most mundane of exchanges, so where’s the problem? Talking of the element of surprise, my Google phone can do some things by magic, like this animation, it just appeared. I am amazed and slightly spooked by it’s capabilities, much like with the ABBA thing. Not going to give any spoilers, but would recommend, it was a hoot. Mind you, helps that we are both outstandingly cool dancers. Not blowing my own trumpet or anything, but if the fuse on the gig had gone and the avatars vapourised, we could totally have stepped in, stepped up and stepped out to save the day, nobody would have known the difference at all.

Oh look my camera can do magic edit things. Who knew? I’m loving having this new toy more than I should. No way am I playing this cool. Out of character as that is I know. Still wearing the wrist band and the eye make up. Partly because I want to, and partly because it turns out using permanent marker pens to do your eye shadow isn’t as clever an idea as you first thought.

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And new parkrun day came!

To be completely honest, Hackney Marshes was the parkrun destination of choice, purely because of proximity to where we were staying. I knew nothing about it at all. Good news though, another friend lives really near and then an ambassadorial friend gave it the thumbs up too, saying it has amazing London views. That’s good then, shame to come all the way to Londonshire and not see them. Another potential consideration, only it wasn’t was that it rained and rained and rained and rained and rained and rained and then rained some more on parkrun eve. A good many parkruns had to cancel due to waterlogged fields or actual flooding. Some of the photos of cancelled parkrun venues were quite something to behold. Even if someone had been bold enough to try to erect a finish funnel, they’d have been swept away by a rising tide of flood water. Edenbrook Country parkrun being a case in point. Some, apparently, did gamely brave a (not)parkrun but this was made possibly only by the loan of floatation devices and lane dividers courtesy of the local swimming pool/ leisure centre. Good shout. I guess you’d have to have brought along your own wetsuit and snorkel, which is fair enough. They had lifeguards rather than volunteers too. Core teams think of everything 😉

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Considering there is a potential clue in the name Hackney Marshes we were lucky that there was no potential parkrun cancellation angst to wrestle with for us. Better yet, my EWFM and parkrun buddy came to meet me and my ABBA twin in our hotel foyer, so we were gathering like children around the Pied Piper to go in procession to our parkrun of choice. Except that it’s really more Paul Sinton-Hewitt (PSH) that the Pied Piper who brings us all together. Did you know he completed his Freyne parkrun this weekend by the way. That’s his 250th different parkrun destination. Paul Sinton-Hewitt that is, not the Pied Piper, not least because the Pied Piper is a fictional character, and even if he was real, he would be dead by now as that story first emerged in the middle ages accordingtowikipedieasoitmustbetrue. Oh and unlike the children being taken off never to be seen again in some sinister kidnap, we would be joyfully joining the throng at Hackney Marshes parkrun where you’d be insane not to return week after week thereafter. Oh, and we wouldn’t be in procession, we’d all be in the same car, fitting in nicely once the back seats had been cleared of all the doggy paraphernalia and assorted life accessories that had gathered within like a prepper in the making, but who hadn’t quite got around to digging their bunker. All backseats of cars are the same over time. It’s like sand dune succession, landscapes evolve. Fact. So pretty much identical to people heeding the Pied Piper’s call apart from those minor tweaks, and also very much like excited friends gathering in anticipation of visiting a new parkrun, which is way more fun to be fair, and much more to be recommended. Besides, we are probably a bit past being referred to as children, but that’s ok, because you are never too old for a parkrun.

I hadn’t done any real research into Hackney Marshes parkrun, but have now, so do save you the arduous task of clicking on the Hackney Marshes parkrun website, the official blah de blah reads as follows:

Course Description: The course consists of an out and back around Hackney Marshes. From the start on the East Marsh do a clockwise loop of the marsh following the edge of the football pitches. After the third right turn head along the grass to the bridge that goes over the River Lea leading to the main North and South Marshes. Turn right when over the bridge and head along the tarmac path for 1300m before taking a sharp left turn onto the North Marsh. Head south around the edge of the North Marsh keeping the football pitches on your right for 900m until you get to the end of a set of 7 pitches; veer left and then turn right to re-join the tarmac path towards the start/finish. When you reach the bridge to the East Marsh turn left and then reverse your original route round the East Marsh to the finish.

The course has spectacular views of the Olympic site and a lovely stretch following the River Lea navigation channel. It is a flat course, the vast majority of which is run on grass, with the start/finish section located on the East Marsh just a short 5 minute walk from the car park that services Hackney Marshes centre.

Facilities: Toilets are available in the Hackney Marshes Centre 400m from the start.

Location of start: The course starts near the Hackney Marshes Centre in the southeast corner of the main marsh, just next to eastern most end of Homerton Road, before the junction with the A12. The centre is a large and distinctive rust coloured building, with full shower and changing facilities on site. The start line is located next to the football pitches on the East Marsh, just over the River Lea and a 400m walk from the Hackney Marshes Centre. The postcode for finding the Hackney Marches Centre is E9 5PF.

Post Run Coffee: Every week we grab a post parkrun coffee at the Hackney Marshes Centre – we look forward to seeing you there!

And it looks like this:

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So a tadpole drawn in the style of Picasso or other Cubist painter basically. They should just say that at the run briefing really, and then everyone would be totally clued up about where to go. Another way of thinking of it, is as a lollipop with a dislocated neck, does that help at all? Personally, I just follow everyone else and go where the marshals tell me, that works too.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, hotel foyer. Checked out, into car, and on our way using the postcode advised. It was a short drive. The destination on our satnav was a bit before the park, but we used our skill and judgement to work this out and avoided parking in someone’s driveway, in favour of going to the actual park. There was a staggering amount of parking available, and this being London, also excellent public transport options by the look of things. The main issue that presented itself to us was which of the many car parking spaces to choose. We then went into the huge rust coloured building where, joy of joys – there were loos aplenty for precautionary pee purposes, phew.

We were less confident about where to go to find the start. However, we espied other parkrunners, who impressively were wearing 500 parkrun milestone tees, and they’d already asked someone for directions, we threw our lot in with them, and followed them through trees, over a bridge, and through to a clearing with football fields where we could see the volunteer team in a high vis huddle. We had made it, we were here! So exciting!

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It’s always a good feeling to have arrived in good time at a new parkrun, we’d made it, hurrah! But there were more delights to follow. My EWFM parkrun buddy had already volunteered to tailwalk, so collected her high vis and kudos, and my ABBA twin was up for an impromptu volunteering bout, the previous night’s whirling, twirling, bopping and popping having taken its toll, she was warmly welcomed and given a cheer spot near to the bridge we’d just passed. What’s more, she hadn’t got her barcode with her, but no problemo! You can find a friend’s barcode – or indeed a barcodeless stranger’s barcode – on the 5k app if you have a smartphone. Gamechanger. High vises donned, the next task was to take a multitude of photos, obviously. I’m really enjoying my new smartphone’s camera, it is so good, but as a consequence I do have to take a great many photos. Even I am hoping the novelty wears off soon, as it’s impossible to choose which ones to include.

Here we go though, your starters for ten:

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But wait there’s more. We obviously had to chat to the 500 milestone runners, but guess what? You can’t guess? Don’t worry I’ll tell you, they’d only been to the ABBA concert the night before as well, and were down from Leeds, so practically my parkrun neighbours. This called for a photo for sure:

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But wait, there was still more. I had Red Ted with me, as I do on most parkrun occasions, unless I’ve accidentally left him in the car or at home or he’s visiting friends or something. Turns out, that having a bear companion isn’t odd at all, they have one too! Only their bear is more media savvy having his own instagram and FAcebook page. He went to ABBA Voyager with them apparently, it wasn’t really Red Ted’s thing so he stayed back at the hotel. I am ashamed to say I can’t remember their bear’s name, but it was something very cute, like Bumble or something equally adorable. He wasn’t at the parkrun, sleeping off the excesses of last night I dare say, but we got to meet him virtually, so that was a win. Here they are together, #newfriends.

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Just goes to show how easy it is to find something in common with parkrun compatriots! You just need to start talking and you are bound to find connections aplenty! It was very exciting! If ever I have a hypnotist do any regression therapy with me, I’ll try to remember to ask if I can pay them a bit extra so that they have time to dig down and find out the name of the bear so you can find him too. He looks very sweet does he not? Would be money well spent I’m sure.

So after we’d swapped bear stories, and ABBA stories, and got high vis, and done lots of picture posing and taking, it was time for the first timers’ welcome, which was delivered with grace and enthusiasm by the lovely Run Director for the day. She had a clip board in front of her and the London skyline behind. There were quite a few first timers, I wondered if numbers had been boosted by other ABBA goers or people displaced by flooding. Apparently, a whole month’s rain fell in one day on parkrun ever. Honestly, I can believe it.

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Then after a short interlude, there was the actual Run Briefing, also delivered by the Run Director, who was gamely standing atop a collapsible chair. Clearly someone who lives life on the knife edge, and doesn’t mind flying in the face of a risk assessment. There were pacers – reusing now redundant high vis which was a good plan. There were also a number of bespoke signs indicating the start of the parkrun. Apparently they usually have a flag, but it blew over, hence the chair. Plus, presumably, once the parkrunners are awf, there is a bit of a break before the front runners make it back round the field, so those on the finish funnel area can take it in turns to have a bit of a sit down in this interlude. Either that, or they can play a particularly rubbish game of musical chairs if they feel bored enough to have to make their own entertainment during this short lived lull.

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After the usual thanks and shout outs, and a warning to look out for Colin’s Lake at the turnaround point (it’s Colin’s marshal spot, and a lake had appeared, so he got to name it, and named it after himself, well I’d have done the same frankly, it’s fair enough) and it was awf!

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Yay! Love a good start!

The field raced ahead, and soon were looping out of sight around the first of the football pitches. You did get the most fantastic views as promised. There were no football matches taking place this Saturday as the pitches were waterlogged, but normally there are loads. Today you got the full spectacle of the thread of parkrunners, flying round the perimeter of the field like bunting made of lycra and dreams. A vision of loveliness and athleticism indeed!

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The views are amazing, those skyscrapers are impressive, though that one that seems to be missing a whole floor apart from a teeny bit at the side holding up all the storeys above is rather alarming. Not gonna lie, would very much NOT want to live above that.

By the time we came back round the field to the finish/start area most of the parkrunners had disappeared out of sight, but not to worry, I was with the tailwalker who by happy happenstance and pre parkrun plottery was my lovely parkrun buddy and EWFM. I mean really, what were the chances! Never alone at a parkrun indeed. We got to wave at the volunteer crew as we passed them, and next we were safely waved over the bridge by my ABBA twin, who was doing excellent work cheering, directionally pointing and indeed taking photographs of parkrun participants. I say parkrun participants, but her particular speciality is barkrun participants, and she did very well indeed in that respect. We were crossing out just as the first finishers were coming in. I was able to take some pics of those using my new smartphone. Did I mention I have finally got myself a smartphone. Oh I did? Are you sure? It takes lovely photos – did I mention that? Oh. Well, good that you were paying attention, but would hate for you not to have known.

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Over the bridge and a right, waved round by cheery marshals. At this stage of the parkrun we were in a contraflow with lots of parkrunners now homeward bound. It was nice to see them, though I was a bit daunted about how fast they were compared to my slow progress. Still, spirits were high, and parkrunners friendly. I snapped some pictures as we made our way along the path. The path was actually pretty good, a few slippery bits, but considering the rain a great surface. We were alongside the River Lea. Although obviously I have no idea how high the water lever usually is, you could tell the muddy waters were waaaaaaaaaaaaay higher than usual, I guess that water has to go somewhere. The pacers were going at cracking speed and no doubt encouraging others to new pbs or at the very least the desire for a new set of lungs.

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You can’t really get lost without falling into the river, so there weren’t that many marshals along the way. However, we came across a little family of them clustering together to try to steady parkrunners coming back from the fieldy bit back onto the main river path via an extra squelchy mud fest. I got distracted by the high vis and returning parkrunners and nearly went wrong, taking a little diversion to snap some more photos before being encouraged, coaxed, shepherded and shooed back on track by my attentive tailwalker. She has form with shooing, and is particularly good at shooing hens, so corralling a waywood parkrunner left her completely unphased. What a star. She at least had been concentrating during the description of the route during the run briefing! I can report that there was no faceplanting in the mud or sinking below the surface of the slurry of mud on their watch. The parkrunners went out, and the parkrunner returned, each and every one. As far as I know the high vis heroes managed to stay upright too – sometimes precariously so, but upright nevertheless. Weeble like, they wobbled, but they didn’t fall down!

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Me and my parkrun buddy now had the riverside path to ourselves for quite a stretch. Other parkrunners were all on their way back, and we’d passed the contraflow section. It was a good opportunity to appreciate the spring blossom, look out for the green screeching parakeets and put the world to right. Well, we made a start on putting the world to rights, there is still a way to go for that to be fair. The willows over the river were amazing, and the wildlife habitat was just brilliant. Everywhere you looked they seemed to have created a microhabitat. That might be an area of stumps, or a fenced off insect house, all very impressive. Granted, this is a flood plain, but even so, it blows my mind that there is this vast green space in the middle of London, and that it is being managed as an oasis for wildlife alongside a multitude of football pitches and yes a parkrun. Shared spaces like this are beyond price. The backdrop of the London skyline is an extraordinary juxtaposition. This really is a proper lovely parkrun. I mean, all parkruns are perfect in their own way, but I’m glad we picked this one for this weekend, we were winning at parkrun life!

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After a bit, MUCH EXCITEMENT. We espied what had to be Colin! He of the Lake! This would also signify the turnaround point, subject to negotiating the sploshing section without falling in. Despite his wait, he was in good spirits, and up for some pond posing and parkrun posing all of which had to be done. It was all very jolly and satisfactory. I like the picture with the reflections best, but you can choose your own. Sort of like the Lady of the Lake if the Lady was called Colin and the Lake was a pimped up puddle. I think they should make this a permanent feature of the course, it added a certain panache to parkrun proceedings.

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We scurried on by past Colin of the Lake, and onwards beside yet more football pitches. There are lots. There was a little trail of yellow arrows in the ground to follow, like breadcrumbs through a wood and we only had one moment of hesitancy when we looked behind us for reassurance from Colin. He was coming along behind us plucking arrows from the ground like so many swords from a stone (or is that a different story), and gestured for us to veer left. I’ve checked about the swords by the way. I couldn’t bear to think of you having to do that yourself. I’ve found out that ‘Excalibur was for from the Lady of the Lake. The Sword in the Stone (that Chooses the King) is a different sword. It’s typically called Caliburn to differentiate it from Excalibur, but that fails miserably as Caliburn is simply the Latin for Excalibur. But in any case, they are two seperate swords.’ So now we know, and our lives are immeasurably the richer for it. Immeasurably as in too small to measure rather than too big, but every little helps as the advertising professionals would have us believe, so parkrunpedia prevails.

After a bit, we found ourselves back at the quagmire of peril, where there was still a team of high vis heroes to see us safely through. My tailwalking buddy did a somewhat melodramatic slalem, but regained her balance if not entirely her dignity and lived to faceplant in the mud another day. We were gathering quite a merry troop to accompany us by this point, and parkrun was all the merrier for it. The outstanding directional pointing also prevented us from continuing straight onwards and into the river. Excellent work all round, all the volunteer marshals were absolutely on point today, as no doubt they are every parkrun day to be fair, but good to have it on the record all the same.

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Retracing our earlier steps, we were soon back on the bridge where my ABBA twin was ready to cheer us in, accompanied by Red Ted who was her support crew just as she was ours.

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We were back at the start, but not yet at the finish. The tailwalker and I were however the last parkrunners standing, with no-one else apparently completing the final reverse lap of the football pitches. I was a bit crestfallen and in honesty felt a bit bad about keeping so many people waiting, my incapacity isn’t visible, so I do worry what people think and fear the perception that I’m just messing about (even though up to a point that’s still an acceptable approach to a parkrun, and parkwalk is very much a thing). I feel self conscious about being so slow. I can have a jiggle for a certain length of time, and then I’m broken and get ever slower. Still, whatever demons were running amok in my head, the volunteer team were cheery and unhurried. Apart from calling out to us to make sure we were going the right way, they seemed pretty chilled. We realised there were some batons marking the way, and my parkrun buddy rang the RD to see if it would be helpful if we collected them on our way. It would, so we did. Discovering in the process these are absolutely not just random parkrun batons, but ACTUAL light sabers, which had to be tested, obvs, so we did. Very fine they were too!

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Then ‘suddenly’ there was the finish funnel, still up in all its glory, and the full team beaming to welcome us in. It was with grace and enthusiasm we were welcomed in, timed and scanned and cheered with as much enthusiasm as the first finishers I’m sure, which was quite a lot, in case that isn’t immediately clear.

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Hi vis were surrendered and thanks and goodbyes exchanged, and that was that. A wander back to the centre for a pit stop. There is a cafe there, but weirdly, very little seating, so although a couple of people had lingered for coffee, there wasn’t a huge gathering. You could get coffee, chips and croissants, snacks, friendly and personable. We opted for a quick coffee and catch up before going our separate ways.

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and that was that. Shame, it had been properly lovely.

Hackney Marshes had one more surprise to offer up. More emotional support animals, this time courtesy of the groundperson’s minimobile, which is a bit like the batmobile put together on a budget. My companions thought the animals looked like they’d been garrotted and the whole thing was rather macabre oh well, life would be dull if we all thought the same about everything. I think they’d been saved, and as soon as the sun comes out and they dry off a bit, they’ll be just dandy once again, with a whole new lease of life.

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Time to head back oop north, with memories of giddy days in Londonshire and a particularly fine time hot footing it round Hackney Marshes. Making a splash in the Abba Arena and on Hackney Marshes both!

Oh, and we even remembered some occasion selfies, without which, it would have been as if nothing had happened! That’s Charley with the Hackney Marshes sign by the way. Bears aplenty today!

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But things did happen, and fun was had and all was good in the world. What’s more, we can do it all again next week! Hurrah!

Thanks again lovely Hackney Marshes parkrun people, you have a wonderful inclusive parkrun vibe, and a glorious location with the most excellent backdrop to boot. You made us so welcome. Hope to come back again one day and see you in a different season. You are stars.

Thanks for sticking with me dear reader, hope our parkrun paths cross sometime soon, but in the meantime you could always browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though. 🙂

Horton – Here for who? For Nelson! Horton Park parkrun #333

Hordes of parkrunners high hoved to Horton indeed, but friendly ones. Happy hordees if you will, gathering together for who? For Nelson, that’s who! It being all the threes, three, three, three, a palindrome But really mainly just getting together for parkrun day, to have a nice yomp around a lovely park with gorgeous people. What’s not to like? That’s right dear reader, absolutely nothing. Hurrah! No wonder so many of us rocked up for fun times in February.

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The RD is doing an ankle warm up by the way, niche, but might catch on.

You are wondering no doubt why it is that the number 333 rings a bell for you. Well dear reader, let me jog your memory, you will know of course when prompted that ‘Year 333 (CCCXXXIII) was a common year starting on Monday of the Julian calendar. At the time, it was known as the Year of the Consulship of Dalmatius and Zenophilus’ or the geologists among you (yes, I mean YOU!) might be ruminating on AL 333 – that is the unforgettable “First Family“, ‘a collection of prehistoric hominid teeth and bones. Discovered in 1975 by Donald Johanson’s team in Hadar, Ethiopia, the “First Family” is estimated to be about 3.2 million years old, and consists of the remains of at least thirteen individuals of different ages‘. Impressive as this finding undoubtedly was, we can beat that gathering of thirteen, with a stonking turn out of 151 parkrunners of different ages rocking up for event # 333 at Horton Park parkrun in Bradford. I didn’t bother to work out the estimated collective age of participants, but concede it might not quite be 3.2 million years – but I’d bet my parkrun buff that if you added up all the ages of parkrunners who have completed a parkrun it could reach that figure. Please don’t check though, I like my parkrun buff and would prefer to keep it. Also, I’m not great with numbers, so might not be quite a fair contest. The point is, 333 is a fun number, an interesting number, and a lure to many to seek out a particular parkrun destination.

It is especially attractive to those parkrunners invested in completing parkrun challenges, in this case the Nelson Challenge, which is to complete a parkrun event (or sequence of events) with a number that’s divisible by 111. I’ve covered the accuracy of this nomenclature before when I did a post about coming together at Concord parkrun # 555 so I’ll spare you that again, lets just say it’s somewhat contested, might come from cricket, yet for parkrun Challenge purposes a Nelson it is. It’s also getting a bit angsty over whether or not it’s ok to chase number challenges at parkrun. The argument being that it can impose a huge influx of new parkrunners at events that might not be able to cope with such attendances. I think for the lower numbers it’s less of an issue, as more parkruns keep coming on board, however it’s certainly going to be a challenge when Bushy parkrun hits 999 and then 1000 in consecutive weeks as the first to do so. Similarly the 888s are few and far between at present. I’m not sure of my stance on this. It feels like the challenge is out of the box. Short of ceasing to number the events at all (which some have mooted) I don’t think this is easily undone. I view all the challenges I choose to take part in as an aid to choosing where to tourist. I’ve got into the Nelson Challenge somewhat by accident as I found two close to home in Sheffield, had already completed one without realising it, got an offer of a lift to another, and then found very handily, Horton Park parkrun was offering up the missing link parkrun number 333 just an hour away from where I live. I feel ok with what I’ve done, but not gonna lie, it does make me now want to complete the set, and perhaps that is going to swamp events. I reckon Bushy parkrun will cope, I was there on Christmas Day 2019 when there were something like 2,600 – hang on, I’ll go check – yep 2,545, but with soooooooooooooo many funnel duckers who had to get away for Christmas stuff it was more than that. The event coped really well, but it is exceptional, then again, it’s likely it will mop up the early challenge seekers, and ease numbers for the parkruns that follow. We shall see. It can be a fine line to step at times, celebrating discovering parkruns that you might not otherwise be drawn to, but not destroying the very event you want to enjoy.

Still, back to Horton Park parkrun. Lovely. Nice gates. Not a euphemism, just an actual fact. Yes, I know, my camera can’t cope, I’m hoping to replace at some point, but for now you’ll just have to use the image as a taster to get the gist, and then shifty on up (or down) there to have a looksie for yourself.

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Let’s start though, with the official Horton Park parkrun blah de blah:

Where is it? The event takes place at Horton Park, Horton Park Avenue, Bradford, BD7 3BN

Course Description: This is a 3.5 lap clockwise course all on smooth, wide tarmac paths suitable for prams. The park dating from 1878 lies 1.6 km to the south-west of Bradford city centre and slopes gently up from north-east to south-west. The area is predominantly residential with some industrial development on Horton Park Avenue to the north-east. The start is on the broad central promenade at the top of the 19th century cast-iron bridge which carries the promenade over an irregular lake at the centre of the site, from here head straight up passing formal flowerbeds and the rose garden to the top of the park and turn right onto the perimeter path which gently rises to a peak before descending the entire length of the park past an avenue of poplar trees to the principal park entrance which is flanked by stone gate piers supporting two pairs of late 19th century iron gates. Continue on past the forecourt roundabout, where the path curves round to the right passing the play area and rising round past the bowling greens, an S bend round to the right offers a short reprieve from the climb. Continue on past the basketball court and now grassed former tennis courts where the path curves round to where you first joined it. To finish turn right at the bottom of the park after completing 3 full laps and head up the central promenade where to the right a stream from the lake winds alongside down a stone culvert with a number of small cascades.

Location of start: The start is on the broad central promenade at the top of the 19th century cast-iron bridge.

Getting there by road: Approximately 1.2 miles from Bradford City Centre, follow the A647 Great Horton Road, turn left into Horton Park Avenue, the entrance to the park is on the right. There is ample on street parking on Horton Park Avenue and Powell Avenue.

Post Run Coffee: Every week we grab a post parkrun coffee in our local Tesco café (Great Horton Rd, BD7 4EY) – please come and join us!

and it looks like this:

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Jolly good.

I’m still having to walk, so though I may as well get in touch and offer to be a parkwalker, and was welcomed for the role which is always a good sign. Also a good sign, from doing so it alerted one of the team, who is also a With Me Now (unofficial parkrun podcast) listener that I’d be going. They’d look out for me, we could have a mini meet up, it would be grand! I choose to think of their proactivity in noting I’d be there as being a good thing, a testament to reaching out. It was not at all that I had triggered some sort of public health alert scenario their end, with damage limitation and managing the situation safely being uppermost in their mind when reaching out. Yay for meeting fellow parkrun passionistas! parkrun people who live in your laptops but you’ve not yet had the joy of meeting up with.

On a more serious note, Horton Park parkrun had to cancel a couple of weeks back due to lack of volunteers. They’d done the usual multiple shout outs to no avail, and eventually had to make the agonising decision not to go ahead. There was some negativity about this along the lines of ‘why not do a shout out on the day’ but this response rather missed the point that some parkruns – increasingly since the pandemic – are spending hours and hours putting out appeals, begging almost for volunteers and this is demoralising and unsustainable. Last minute offers can be too little, too late, and waaaaaaaaaaaay too stressful for event teams to manage and it is very time consuming to keep on checking and making shout outs right to the wire. Ultimately, parkruns are community events, they need the communities they serve to get involved in delivering them too. Obviously not everyone is able to volunteer, and volunteering should not be compulsory, but events don’t happen by magic and so it’s important people think of stepping up now and again to keep them alive. For me, the tragedy is that volunteering at parkrun is not a sacrifice, it can be super fun, you see the parkrun from a different perspective and can get the whole parkrun joy without having to actually charge about. It astonishes me that some parkrunners have yet to embrace this, and it saddens me hugely that so many parkruns seem to be struggling of late. Maybe the awful truth is that it takes a cancellation for some to wake up to the notion that their parkrun needs them to volunteer too. Horton Park parkrun is a small event really. The average number of finishers being 62.6, so that’s not a huge pool to draw from. However, Endcliffe parkrun in Sheffield had to cancel last year due to lack of volunteers despite having 457.2 average finishers each week. It can’t just be about the numbers taking part, something else seems to be happening. This situation just makes me incredibly sad. Individual parkruns get cancelled but worse still, core teams burnout, jeopardising parkruns entirely. Saddest of all though, is that people are missing out on the joy that is volunteering at parkrun, it’s an actual FACT that volunteering makes you happy. The converse is true too. You know like in Peter Pan, when everytime someone says they don’t believe in fairies one falls down dead right then? Well it’s the same for parkruns too. Everytime someone declares ‘parkrun doesn’t need me to volunteer‘ or ‘volunteering is not for me‘ (without any particular reason why) a little bit of the parkrun spirit dies too, and core teams retreat, feeling battered. That’s what it can sometimes feel like anyway. Whatever, I just really hope people who maybe haven’t got around to volunteering yet at their event do so; or maybe introduce a non-running friend to parkrun so they can join in and be part of parkrun as a volunteer. Volunteering on a regular basis brings its own joy. You might even end up with your own corner on a course, and you’ll definitely get an appreciative round of applause at the start of every parkrun. Just do it! I mean look at the volunteers at this event for instance, jumping for joy and they’ve not even started the morning’s parkrun yet. Can hardly contain themselves. This could be you! Wait til you see how happy they are at the end. Those endorphins can last all week, swimming around your system powering you through.

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And you think that’s happy. You should have seen them buzzing with endorphins at the end.

This photo was taken by a rather excellent volunteer photographer by the way. He made a point of gathering the volunteers at the start and taking a photo of us all together by the Horton Park sign to show where we were. On reflection, it would have been good if one of us had been holding the day’s newspaper too, so we could prove the date as well. It is a nice touch, I love group photos of this ilk, it helps build the volunteer community. He did one fairly standard photo and then one of us looking altogether more cheery. Hurrah! Nice touch, great pic. Actually, there were lots of great pics from today, which is handy as my own photos were, erm, let’s go with ‘sub optimal’.

Oh, and by the way, if you need encouragement to volunteer, check out Sherwood Pines parkrun volunteer appeals, they are brilliant at expressing the joy! Give that Facebook communications person a cheer! Loving their work. Worth following their page just for a weekly chuckle, even if you can’t get to run their, though it’s a fab parkrun too for the record. High time I went back to Sherwood Pines parkrun for another yomp round, it was one of my favourite courses.

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Back to Horton Park parkrun though, because that’s where we were experiencing the parkrun love today.

I did my usual thing of setting off paranoically early so arrived at the park in good time. There was loads of parking, even allowing for it being a larger than usual turn out. I could have parked right by the very impressive gates, but wasn’t quite sure if that was allowed, so followed the actual instructions and popped myself on Powell Avenue, where, at that time, I could have the pick of positions. What joy!

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It was surprisingly nippy out, so I had the usual pre parkrun faffery of deciding what to wear, and then I ventured into the park to explore. As before when parkrun touristing, I was really taken aback but the grandeur of the park. It had mature planting, a huge, wide central avenue, little bridges and hidden gardens with fountains – switched off at present, but no doubt spectacular when going. Sadly, there were signs warning of bird flu in the area, and maybe that’s why some of the little waterways were empty, I wonder if they are trying to discourage birds from gathering too much. There was also a weird structure of tree roots apparently covered in tarmac. I can’t be sure, but I wondered if this was the remnants of a fossilised tree. The only time I’ve seen anything similar was at another Bradford Park, at the Precious and Rare Bradford parkrun in Lister park, so that would make sense. Gotta be honest, it looks a bit underwhelming as displayed at present, but if you think about it a bit more, what a mind blowing thing to have in your local park. 330 million years old potentially, if we decide it was actually 333 million years ago, and I think I have now decided that, what a brilliant segway back into Horton Park parkrun #333. Phew. And you thought I was getting distracted again didn’t you! Oh ye of little faith!

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Because of arriving early, I was before the volunteer team had set up, so I went for a little wander about, and then met someone who looked very much like – and indeed was – a fellow parkrunner, who pointed me back to from whence I’d come, which is the rendezvous point for volunteers. So basically, the volunteers meet near the main gates of the park, and then the first timers welcome and RD briefing is held a bit beyond the park steps. The start being a little further along again. It’s not a huge park to be fair, and there is very little chance of missing the parkrun unless, like me, you are there ahead of them 🙂

Very soon though, parkrunners started assembling, cones were being carefully placed, high vis handed around and the usual buzz of meeting and greeting as everyone gathered. Tourists too, I was found by my parkwalking buddy for the morning, another tourist along with the tailwalker. They were walking ahead of a 10k race not a run tomorrow so happy to walk at today’s parkrun not parkrace, so that was good. Oh, and I found or was found by, fellow With Me Nowers, and spotted the distinctive WMN merch on the RD too, so amongst friends, albeit ones I hadn’t met yet. Oh wait, and there was a Huddersfield parkrun buddy, not seen since Hillsborough parkrun #444, and another who was at Zielony Jar parkrun last week, the week after me and the others. Did I mention when we went, one of our party lost her barcode, so I choose to believe this other Huddersfield parkrunner made the trip particularly to see if it had been found and pick it up. It hadn’t been unfortunately, but she had a very nice time at the parkrun anyway, just so you know. So many stories to share, although annoyingly conversations were inevitably only half finished as is sometimes the parkrun way. That’s ok too though, it’s always good to leave your both a parkrun, and your audiences wanting more!

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Roles allocated, ‘official’ volunteer photo taken albeit not everyone could be included as some were already busy undertaking their duties, we started to wend our way up to the bridge. More meeting and greeting went on, I always feel a bit emotional at this point, so many connections being made or renewed. Oh, and also, a rather splendid barkrunner, with own bespoke hi-vis, always a win. And even time to pose for a few group photos. I never saw the pop up sign somehow though, probably too busy chatting. There is one there, perfect for that team shot if you are so inclined.

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I somehow missed the first timers’ welcome, I think because I was slow joining the throng from the volunteers photo. I know it would have been excellent though, how could it have been otherwise. Then the RD did his briefing. Welcoming people to Horton Park parkrun #334! See what he did there! Hilarious. Well, it should have been #334 if they hadn’t had to cancel, so just a reminder. That’s a With Me Now hoodie he is sporting there – you can see it in full glory on this fellow WMNer who did the first timers’ welcome, albeit it was a shame he had the wrong lettering on the back of his.

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A printing error surely? #sitdownnotcooldown. They say you have to respect the right of everyone to participate in parkrun in their own way I know, but just saying I doubt very much the RD would have made the same mistake, although maybe it’s just as well you can’t see that under his rather fine monochrome RD high vis… New blue RD high vis is no doubt incoming. Quite possibly at a parkrun near you too very soon, if not already.

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There were the usual thanks and milestones and loveliness, and then we gathered for the start, and everyone ready? Timers ready? Awf!

I tried to take some pics, and then joined as a walker towards the back of the pack, quickly drifting to the tailwalker. It is a weekly irritation that even my walk is so slow. I am generally very much better than I was, and almost sprightly at home and on the flat, but I still can’t walk very far or for very long time wise, and cold weather doesn’t help. I’m a little more hopeful than I was that the summer may bring some improvements, but I found walking this particular route felt a stretch. I think a combination of the cold, and a slightly faster walking pace than I can maintain. When spring finally properly is sprung, I plan to try to get out and test myself more, but I need to feel confident it is safe to do so. Back to parkrun though, Horton Park parkrun was go, and go we did!

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What a fine body of parkrunners in action we were! All of us. Yes, you too, if you were there, or even if you weren’t – all parkrunners are fabulous always and so are parkrunners yet to be. It’s only a matter of time before you join the happy throng I’m sure 🙂

The route is pretty straightforward, although it being a multi-lap course, you do need to be able to count to three preferably, which is harder than you think. Don’t worry too much though, there are lots of marshals around who as well as being exceedingly good at directional pointing and cheering, can also count to three – perhaps even beyond! There was no need to test the latter competency on this occasion, but I reckon they very possibly could. Stars, each and every one.

I tried to get photos of each of the marshals en route. The cheery top of the hill marshal who’d lost her signs but not her enthusiasm. The chilly duo who were good spirited despite having to bounce up and down quite a lot to keep warm. The ones at the bottom of the hill to cheer you round again or back up the hill to the finish funnel depending on your lap quotient, the solitary smiley marshals oozing enthusiasm and authority as they managed their spots solo. The ones not small but far away, and the close to the hive of activity at the finish funnel marshals at the end. Then there was the photography marshal, and the cheery marshals and everything and everyone in between.

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off we went, soon the two parkwalkers and tailwalker found ourselves in step. The rest of the pack being far ahead. It is a lovely park, and the snowdrops were amazing at this time of year. Mature trees abound, I saw catkins which are always a particular joy. We were cheered by passing parkrunners lapping us as well as the marshals at intervals on the course. It had a good friendly vibe, much parkrun positivity was bursting out along with the spring bulbs. I’d swear the sun even came out briefly, possibly also following the ‘always leave your audiences wanting more’ principle no doubt. The volunteer photographer was on hand to capture the whole occasion. All the photos for Horton Park parkrun #333 are up on the Facebook page but here is a smorgasbord to save you the exertion of having to click on the link. Oh, and I included a couple of mine too, but I don’t think you’ll struggle too much to work out which are mine and which are his.

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We walked and talked – twalked, and chatted and pootled – chootled round. Even though there were three of us we did get a bit discombobulated about how many laps we’d done, but don’t worry, completed the course most satisfactorily in the end. Don’t worry though, even though we were kept busy twalking and chootling, we were sufficiently alert to our surroundings to strike a pose for the photographer on our way around. I’m not even going to try to pretend we weren’t fussed about having our picture taken! Fabulous though aren’t we? Three volunteers for event #333 I like this photo, even if it does make me look like a jumbly. Or maybe I do look like a jumbly and the camera has just captured that reality, oh well, it’s still a fun shot, and jumblies have their own charm too. Plus, I’d happily go to sea in a sieve if I thought that sieve would take me to Bere Island parkrun, so we have much in common. More in common than divides us in fact, as the saying goes.

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The route goes round the outer paths of the park, and takes in some Yorkshire flat. It isn’t massively steep, but if you were running, as opposed to walking, I think it would feel like a fair old climb as it’s quite a distance up hill, but then you get to run down in on the other side of the park, so swings and roundabouts or ups and downs, it all levels out in the end. On our final lap, some of the marshals walked companionably along with us for a bit before they headed back down the central path to the finish funnel. Meanwhile, faster parkrunners sprinted home, captured with flying feet, flailing arms, smiles and grimaces all by our heroic photographer. Action shots are The Best! Not everybody demonstrated all these things, but there is always next week to complete the challenge, should you choose to accept it. Good luck!

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And so the time came for us to pass up the finish funnel to the chorus of cheers from the timers and finish funnel managers and scanners all still in place. There were a few stoical, supportive parkrunners still milling around, and enough volunteers for a further photo op. Hurrah!

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And that was that, time to pack up and go home, and think of ideas for the inevitable caption contest photos that would be incoming later on.

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All in all, a pretty fine parkrun. There was just one critical incident, which unfortunately probably would have had to be reported to HQ, but these things happen. It was bungate.

A kind parkrunner had some particularly impressive buns. S/he’d brought them along to share in order to celebrate either the 333, or touristing, or a milestone, or just to be nice – some people are. Anyway, because the photographer was busy with their camera, his special bun was carefully placed to one side, to keep it safe until he could step down from his duties, documenting the parkrun. At the very end, as close down was underway and high vis tabards were being gathered and cones and other parkrun paraphernalia collected together on a handy bench DISASTER STRUCK! His iced bun did a kamikaze topple, iced side down (isn’t that just always the way) tumbling over in slow motion to gasps of horror from onlookers. Gutting.

I think there was talk of salvaging the situation, or replacing the bun, but that must have hurt. Hopefully there will be future parkruns with future offerings by way of recompense. In the circumstances, it was most fortunate that the photographers blood sugar levels sustained him for as long as they did!

And so it was time to disperse. I did get a kind and sincere offer to join the team who would be gathering at their local Tesco up the road for parkfaffing purposes. Possibly results processing and all those things too. Alas, I couldn’t stay this time, but it’s always really nice when teams or locals do encourage people to join in for the post parkrun catch ups. After all, as we all know by now, parkrun was always about the coffee.

Thanks you Horton Park parkrun for the warm welcome to your lovely park. It was a great team and a friendly vibe. Your snowdrops are breathtaking and fossilised tree roots a one in a 333 million year spot. Yay you. Hope our paths cross again some day, but in the meantime yay for keeping the parkrun love alive, well done on you #333 parkrun, here’s to the next 333 million years. I wonder if any parkrun memorabilia will last that long. A golden barcode from a parkrun pioneer perhaps, or just the parkrun spirit, leaving it’s aura behind wherever a parkrun has been run, in perpetuity. That would be nice.

So there we go, that was that.

But only ’til next time. See you there! 🙂

Of course in the meantime you could always browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though. And check out the Horton Park parkrun photos for event #333 in case you think I’ve missed out the best ones, which is quite possible, as it’s sooooooooooooooo hard to choose which ones to include!

Don’t worry though, I remembered to include this one of the WMN mini meet up, yay, I did spot another WMNer en route in the photos, but they had vanished by this point, we held the in our thoughts though, so that’s ok!

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Yay for Yarborough Leisure Centre parkrun #3 for a pribbonacci gathering

This is a parkrun that is all about the people. I was twalking again (walking and talking) but saw a comment from a participant on the Yarborough Leisure Centre parkrun Facebook page saying how much they enjoyed their ‘chatty pootle’ so maybe chootling is the way forward? We shall have to wait and see. What is clear, is that this pretty new kid on the block laid on a fabulous welcome at it’s super organised and perfectly accessorised parkrun event. It’s just three today, isn’t that sweet? Yet sassy and confident in it’s delivery, which included not only cheery and cheerful volunteers, and enthusiastic attendees but even glorious sunshine. #livingtheparkrundream. Oh, and a ‘Y’ for alphabet chasers – only the second in actual Europe. Which sort of overlooks the fact that alas, we are part of the EU no more, so don’t really feel all that European anymore to be honest, so really England has the parkrun Y monopoly in this area at present. Spoiling us with both a York and now a Yarborough. There was a Yeovil Montacute parkrun at one point, but that is no more. Only the parkrun, not the place, just to be clear. Wouldn’t want you to think there’d been some sort of top secret annihilation of the town that has been all hushed up, there are more than enough conspiracy theories as it is. Mind you, I’ve never actually been, and now I look Yeovil up on Wikipedia I’m not sure it is an actual real place. Key messages include ‘One symbol of Yeovil is “Jack the Treacle Eater”, a folly consisting of a small archway topped by a turret with a statue on top.’ hmm, see what I mean, and other claims to fame include that ‘Yeovil is known in Thomas Hardy’s Wessex as “Ivell”. … (it) … is the location for the fictional School of Lifemanship in a series of novels by Stephen Potter: Gamesmanship (1947), Lifemanship (1950), One-Upmanship (1952), Supermanship (1958), Anti-Woo (1965) and The Complete Golf Gamesmanship (1968).’ I mean, where would a fictional school be located other than in a fictional town? Quite, just sayin. Also, ‘Montacute’, think about it, how can that be a real name? Kudos to those who did manage to bag a parkrun there though, I’d have thought that was pretty much like timing it right to arrive to join in a jig at Brigadoon once in every centur. Respect to those who found it. Today though, was all about Yarborough Leisure Centre parkrun. And jolly splendiferous it was too!

This is a relatively new kid on the parkrun block. As one of only two Ys, the launch must have been a bit scary for the team, but it coped brilliantly with its inaugural event. This is a new event that is within reach of Sheffield, so was on my radar, but I was happy to let it settle in a bit rather than crash the first event, even though I did get wind of it before hand. I hadn’t particularly got a date in mind to head over, but then my new parkrun besties from Huddersfield declared their intention to go today, and as I’ve been experiencing MASSIVE separation anxiety since waving them goodbye last week, it seemed too good an opportunity to pass by. Yep, I’d be there. Despite still feeling a bit broken from all the excitement of last weekend and indeed last week.

I was filming again last week, and had an exhausting day of early call time meaning 4.45 a.m. start to arrive at unit base in time for huge breakfast, hair and make up, then in holding on squidgy sofas so bit of a nap, woke up for long enough to compare conspiracy theories (though puzzlingly, we didn’t get onto whether or not Yeovil actually exists) then played table tennis for first time in decades. Turns out it’s super fun, even if you are terrible at it (me, my opponent used to play in a tt league apparently). Do you remember when Boris madly started calling it wiff – waff? What planet is he on? Mind you, that wasn’t the craziest thing he ever said or did to be fair, so let’s keep things in proportion. Then broke for lunch, more kipping, much hilarity with the other extras, trying to spot ourselves in ‘Better’ watching in on fastforward on iplayer, and crying with laughter at our shadowy figures fleetingly glimpseable in the very back of shots only when the frames were frozen brief half hour on set then realeased by 6.00 p.m. #livingthedream I always think a day where you cry with laughter at work is a good one. Remind me to tell you about the job interview I had with Dogs for the Disabled. Only time I’ve literally wet myself crying with laughter during a job interview. Gawd it was hilarious though… Also, I think this means I am officially a professional table wiff-waff player, on account of the fact I was being paid for playing it. I may yet become part of the sporting elite! Hurrah. Anyway, stop distracting me, or we’ll never get to the start line of Yarborough. Here is a sneak preview, just to keep you on board…

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I would be there at the start, I would meet with Huddersfield friends, it would be magnificent, being further broken is but a small price to pay to hang out with parkrun besties. I would get to wear my giraffe llama leggings all over again. Well, strictly speaking I’ve not taken them off since departing for Poland and our epic trip to parkrun Zielony Jay. Why would I? They are the comfiest thing ever, are linked to happy memories, a much appreciated gift and also, I like giraffes. Then again, I don’t think we should have to justify our clothing choices whoever we are. Want to know what to wear? Have clothes? Have human shaped body? Then put clothes on and voila! Job done! Fancy dress is always a good option though obvs, but more of that later…

Shall we start with the official blah de blah? Just for some context? Yes? Good. So, according to the parkrun website:

Yarborough Leisure Centre parkrun is a ‘A free, fun, and friendly weekly 5k community event. Walk, jog, run, volunteer or spectate – it’s up to you!‘ and the event takes place at ‘Yarborough Leisure Centre, Riseholme Road, Lincoln, LN1 3SP.‘

The course is described thus: ‘The course makes use of the cycling club’s race track. It is three and a bit anticlockwise laps around the perimeter of the Yarborough fields. Flat and wide tarmac all the way around’ so fairly minimalist, but also fairly straightforward. As long as you can count to three and a bit, which to be fair is suprisingly hard on multi-lap courses, no worries, marshals would be bound to help.

The course looks like this:

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All good!

Early start again, and off out. It was exceedingly blustery out, fallen branches and bins going awol. I had a brief moment of angst re driving, all those high sided vehicles being blown around is a bit of a scary thought. Oh well, nothing ventured. Up and out and satnav on. Whilst I was gingerly venturing out, the Yarborough Leisure Centre parkrun team were up and at it!

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The drive was actually ok, it was windy but some sunshine and relatively mild, almost spring like. The only real complication was that my satnav took me the most extraordinary route, maybe my bad because I opted for a route which would avoid paying a toll. I’d swear I went via the channel islands, the Isle of Man and an overnight stay in Dover, before arcing up to Glasgow and making my way back down again. I also got stuck behind a tractor for quite a while just outside Aberystwyth, which is fair enough as a tractor can only go as fast as it can go, but was quite stress inducing. Then when my satnav announced ‘you have reached your destination’ I very clearly hadn’t so had a moment of panic. Fortunately, I’d printed out all the directions and there was a bit of detail

Getting there by road – For SATNAV use LN1 3SP – what3words: ///buddy.humble.above

The leisure centre is on the north side of Lincoln. Follow the A46 around to the intersection with the A15 and turn in towards Lincoln on Riseholme Road (B1226). Yarborough Leisure Centre is half a mile on the right signposted Lincoln Castle Academy.

Plentiful free parking is available at the leisure centre.

Well, the what3words didn’t help on account of being person not in possession of smartphone, but just a bit further on from the garage I’d pulled in at was a large entrance, signed for the Lincoln Castle Academy, and you follow road round to see well signed parking for the Yarborough Leisure Centre. It was a bit tighter time wise than I’d have liked and I was concerned I wouldn’t get a space, but Yay! Loads of parking, even at 8.45. There were plenty of parkrunners still arriving, many a tourist buff, and the excited chit chat of gathering participants.

SO EXCITING!

Amongst those a-gathering were my Huddersfield buddies, they took the precaution of doint carpark selfies, it has to be done. I didn’t though, but did try to do some snaps of the little trek to the start. It’s not especially far, but nor is it very obvious. With so many newbies at present, there were cheerful volunteers on hand to guide the way. There was also a high vis hero to gently steer you away from the leisure centre loos. Panic not though, there are alternative loos near the start in a sort of sports hub. It’s just the leisure centre got a bit overwhelmed by precautionary pee-ers the first week so they’ve made this change. There was even a toilet monitor at the sports hub loos to ensure orderly and fair queuing. Give that marshal an ‘other’ running challenges credit immediately, job well done!

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As with all good parties, I met loads of people in the queue for the loos. My Huddersfield humans were just emerging, and then as I exited, good news and lovely surprise, look what I found:

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Yep, that’s actual Yogi! Smarter than the average bear. It was a great surprise, ‘Yogi’ was actually a rather splendid Humber Bridge parkrunner, who is completing her second parkrun alphabet, only this time in fancy dress, as you do. With the fancy dress costume of choice to start with the same initial letter as that of the parkrun, clever eh? Like I said, smarter than the average bear. I have previous with Yogi, as she was a very attentive and supportive tailwalker at Humber Bridge parkrun back in July last year when I was just tentatively trying to return to parkrun as a walker. That was an especially scary and tough time, and in a way, it’s good to be reminded of this. I still despair quite often at my physical limitations, but actually, compared wtih July last year I have made some progress. Only using one stick and a lot less wobbly these days. It’s hard not to dwell on what I still can’t do, but actually there are things I now can. And also, were it not for my having to come back as a walker, I’d have missed out on connecting with many people who are my twalking/ chootling buddies and my life would be the poorer for it. Perspective can help on a bad day, and on a good day like today, I feel genuinely lucky. Portly yes, but lucky too!

Oh, and fyi, there is no pop up sign at this parkrun, so if you want a location photo memento, then the Yarborough leisure centre sign is probably your best bet. This will, over time I’m sure, become the most photographed leisure centre sign in the parkrun world, possibly the actual world. They must wonder what’s hit them! It’s grand it’s in parkwalk colours, the little details are much appreciated…

Fortunately, the other bears in attendance today, are also a lot smarter than average, so no risk of offence there, phew! Bear Running Club is known for its high percentage of mensa members amongst its number. FACT. Probably. Should be really anyway… I certainly think they are all pretty smart, and that’s good enough for me. Just look at them, intelligence, insight and parkrun positivity pretty much visibly oozing out from their very pores!

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After we’d done some meeting and greeting, it was all a-gathering for the first timers’ welcome. To be fair, there were a lot of first timers, it being a new Y and a prime and a fibonnacci number and all. The cheery RD (who is also an ambassador I gather) helped the first timers welcomer onto a raised step and there was a great intro to the event. All were welcomed warmly, including some actual first time everers, who got a huge cheer – and there was also a welcome for a new arrival in every sense. In attendance was a parkrun newbie who had attended inside their mum’s tum (not anatomically correct I know, but I like the rhyme and you get the gist, she hadn’t been eaten or anything) and then burst out into the world on Thursday, and was now in attendance in their own right, wrapped up warm in a pram with happy parents gazing on. That was pretty awesome. I wonder if this is the youngest parkrun attendee to date, and not to have EVER missed a parkrun even prior to arrival is especially spectacular. I’m all for starting parkrun as young as possible, but this newbie newborn takes that to the literal limit. I wonder how many parkruns they’ll get to during their life time. AWESOME!

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Yogi, who incidentally is a paramedic noted that it would be really cool to assist a birth at a parkrun and who can disagree with that. I wonder if you’d still be able to get your finish token scanned afterwards. I suppose it would depend whether or not the tailwalkers held back for you, that would seem fair. And another huge cheer for the tailwalker resplendent in his 100th different event banner, a true cowell, so that was very exciting. He was a bit sneaky in that he removed his sash on the way around after being nearly garrotted with it twice. I know we should really respect everyone’s right to participate in parkun in their own way, so I tried not to be too judgy but it was only nearly garrotted, and don’t they say ‘third time lucky’. Just sayin. It did make it back on for the photos at the end thankfully. Massive phews all round!

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Just checked the results stats, out of 306 participants, there were 223 first timers at this parkrun and 5 first time everers. That’s a lot of newbies. It didn’t feel like a new parkrun though, it ran like clockwork. The numbers didn’t seem to be an issue – perhaps it feels positively quiet after their inaugural turn out of 449!

It was a such a feel good welcome, everyone seemed in really good spirits, the event team seemed unphased by the numbers, people were greeted from all over Kent, Huddersfield, Hull, Doncaster – and there was an Isle of Man Veteran listed on the results. I could have maybe stopped off en route to pick them up if I’d only known. It was all very jolly. The announcing of it being the number 3 event got a huge reaction, prompting a slightly bemused reaction from our meeter and greeter. Audience participation clarified ‘it’s a prime‘, ‘it’s a Fibonnacci’ and – best heckle yet ‘it’s a pribonnacci!’ And they’ve only just got over the shock of being a Y! I gather that this parkrun is one that is delivered by people who genuinely come from the local community, as opposed to existing parkrunners. Maybe this helps it feel so welcoming and inclusive, they seeme happy to have everyone rock up, proud of their venue and committed to ensuring everyone would have a great time, and why wouldn’t we, it was perfect! The crowd listened with enthusiasm, and attentiveness, this was going to be grand!

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and then there was the RD briefing. He gave a shout out for milestones, locations and a nod to the ‘not mad at all’ fancy dress alphabeteer, as he said, why not? Why not indeed. This was the first time I’ve seen the new dark blue Run Director High Vis, I like it, I get that there is loyalty to the striking monochrome, but really, it’s cool. My favourite remains the powder blue parkwalking volly vest, but I was too late to bagsy it for this particular event. Other quicker off the mark parkwalkers having made it onto the roster first. No worries, my turn will come around again, and I’ll get to wear the high vis at junior parkrun tomorrow. Meantime, check out that merch – missed a ‘Dolly or Bev’ shout out moment there methinks…

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The briefings took place a short way from the start line, so there was a mass walk to the start. I was trying to get to the back of the line up so was in fact facing in the wrong direction when everyone started moving forward. That was somewhat discombobulating, but I was able to re-orientate myself and slot in at the back, alongside my various buddies Yogi buddy, parkwalker buddies, tailwalker buddies, lots of company for the party at the back at this parkrun!

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and that was it, we were awf! The start!

OMG you have to check out this Facebook post with a video clip of the start, just brilliant, thanks for taking and posting lovely Yarborough Leisure Centre parkrun team, you are The Best!

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What to say about the course. It’s what it says. A really wide tarmac path track throughout. It makes for a very inclusive surface, easy for buggies, wheelchairs, wobbly walkers, guided runners anyone really because it’s spacious and predictable. You could honestly take a carriage and eight horses round that route, no worries, though I suspect that would count as an assisted run, you’d need to check with the RD, also, don’t take the horse and cart on the running track, that needs to be treated with due reverence. Fair enough.

It was to me a slightly unexpected course in that you are surrounded by houses that back onto it for much of the route, and you go past running track and playing fields and all sorts of sporting amenities. It feels like it’s in quite a built up area, but equally you get glimpses of Lincoln Cathedral at various points on the course. It’s sort of an angular off-set figure of eight. You do the far loopy loop bit twice, then the whole lot three times, so it was a bit confusing as to which lap you are on, whether it is a three lap, four lap or five lap course is hard to say, as it depends what you decide constitutes a lap. Fortunately, there are marshals and signs to assist, and Red Ted was concentrating so able to keep us all on track. There was some outstanding directional pointing going on, some assisted by giant foam hands, always a win at parkrun, and there were juniors on hand to give assistive high fives which was very much appreciated. Massive extra kudos to the local resident who has taken to coming out and giving a cheer to passing parkrunners. This make me a tad emotional, as it reminds me of my mum’s parkrun journey, she started off as a local cheering passing runners, and was adopted by her parkrun family in Bushy park. Check out the reference to Elisabeth’s Corner, marshal point 5 in this run report. I hope that happens here, this woman definitely deserves her own high vis, check out those supportive jazz hands, and friendly disposition, she’s a shoo in as an honorary if not actual marshal!

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We may have struggled a bit with the lap counting, but we did well with the soaking it all up and cheering the other participants side of things. The great joy of having multiple laps, is that you get to see and cheer other people running round, and you are never really alone en route either. |It sort of mixes up all the different speeds of parkrunners in a parkrun potpourri, giving a whole new spin to the concept of parkrun fresh. Fragrant in an altogether different way you see. You spot most people a couple of times at least, and it was all very friendly, and lovely too. I think this is where pictures help. Not mine so much, because my camera needs to retire, but fortunately I’ve freely borrowed from others so you don’t have to. There was an official photographer there too, so hopefully I’ll be adding to this account with other ones in due course, this is the parkrun that keeps on giving!

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So we twalked and chootled and soaked up the atmosphere, and counted the laps, special mention for the intersection which is affectionately known as ‘chaos corner’. Nope, no idea why… good fun though 🙂 You feel like you can see just about everyone at this spot, and the marshal at this point can look one way to see parkrunners scampering around in circles and the other to see a view of Lincoln Cathedral. I know! Splendid.

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and cheered fellow runners and all was right with the world. ‘Suddenly’ we found ourselves approaching the finish. We quickly got in order and processed through with considerable panache if I say so myself. The finish funnel was still surrounded by helpful and cheerful marshals ready to time us in and scan us safely home.

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Thanks, as always, to the amazing volunteer team. And thank you too to my Huddersfield and Humber Bridge parkrun friends. It’s humbling to think of all the people I’ve come to know all over the place, purely because of parkrun. It’s taken me to places I’d never have otherwise visited, and introduced me to brilliant people I’d never otherwise have met. At the end of the day, parkrun really is all about community, for the most part it brings out the best in people, and restores faith in the world. Today was a case in point. Thank you all!

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That was the parkrun part completed, but we still had some quite extensive parkfaffing to do. Particularly we wanted a parkrun photo. We espied some handy steps adjacent to the running trap, and crossed over to pose. This was not the right thing to do apparently, as they are sensitive about who sets foot on this track, something about having the right shoes, and not obstructing runners using the track. Actually, there weren’t any anyway, and we negotiated for a photo op, but maybe be mindful if you are doing the same. We got some fab pics though, and fab memories too, I mean just look at us, in all possible configurations, gawgeous!

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But wait, there was more, then we had to get the obligatory leggings shots:

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and then we had to get the group shot in front of the leisure centre sign. To be fair, it was more arduous than being on set, never had so many cameras pointing at me at one time! Good to capture the memories though, eh?

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We left the team results processing and token sorting in the leisure centre cafe, and went our separate ways. They were happy in their work though, so that’s good.

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and then suddenly, that was that. The end.

But only til next time, obvs. 🙂

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Oh, and as always, if you find yourself at a loose end, you could always browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.  But it’s even better if you can get yourself to an actual parkrun near you and experience it for yourself in glorious technicolour.

Thank you Yarborough Leisure Centre parkrun people and parkrun buddies, it was grand. I may well pop back here later on with extra pics and a link to the run report for this third event in due course,

oh, hang on here they are – and here is the event report for the day too. For triangulation purposes.

Here is a little smorgasbord of pics, check out the 2 day old parkrunner doing their second parkrun gawgeous, and the lovely high vis heroes. Each as photogenic as the one before, impossible though that is to imagine!

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So for now hey, hey hey and –

That’s all folks!

ea-Zee does it Zielony Jar parkrun

I might burst. No really, I was just so excited at the prospect of getting to Poland, not just to bagsy a Zee, but to go adventuring and to meet with international parkrunners AND get to know my new parkrun besties from Huddersfield parkrun a bit better. Not gonna lie, a bit apprehensive, but mostly super keen. Not scared just EXCITED. Eazee to confuse the too.

Look where we went, and it was all I hoped for and more! Oh yes indeedy, simply the best, as has been sung before!

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But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start at the very beginning, it’s a very good place to start. The plan came about from me being introduced to some llama leggings I think. Something like that anyway. I was at Huddersfield parkrun for their 500th event, with my giraffe, as one does, and met up with friends I hadn’t made yet but felt like I knew already. Shouty Lady – to whom I’d given a shout out in a remotely written run report for Endcliffe parkrun back in October 21, little imagining one day we’d be off on a parkrun holiday together – , a friend of a friend parkrun ambassador, oh and a fellow parkrun tourist who I’ve met a few times but forgot had Huddersfield parkrun as her home event. Anyway, turns out they are all huge fans of llama leggings and – get this – even though they are called llama leggings they have actual giraffe ones, that pretty much have my name on them, what with me and my emotional support giraffe Geronimo often to be found hanging out together. Honestly, I’m not quite sure how we went from that exchange, to planning a trip to visit a parkrun Poland, but it will be both parkrun logical and parkrun inevitable to most parkrun passionistas. Essentially we bonded over parkrun, fancy dress and fabulous leggings I suppose, and one thing led to another. It is the parkrun way. In our case, it led to z-chasing in Poland. Hurrah!

I just, sheep-like, went along with what everyone else suggested. We want to do the same things anyway, and with a parkrun at the epicentre of our plans there was unlikely to be a clash of priorities. We settled on Krakow. Basically, it was easy to get flights to there from Manchester, and once landed there were many parkruns in reach – including a Z – so less angst inducing if there were any cancelling on the day. Hurrah. Then we found a date and ‘suddenly’ it was booked and happening. Turns out, there are a couple of fabulous organisers/ leaders in the Huddersfield parkrun set, and who am I to undermine their talents by showing any initiative? Without followers there would be no leaders after all, and I was only too happy to oblige. Yes, I do worry sometimes where my compliance might lead, but so far it’s led to fine adventuring and unexpected turns which has enriched my life rather than leading to my joining a cult. Unless you count parkrun as a cult of course? But it’s clearly #notacult because I’ve been told that, a lot. And even if it is a teensy bit, it is for the most part a benign one.

Our destination would be Zielony Jar parkrun. Fortunately, google automatically translated their official parkrun webpage with information about the course, and better still, the translation is absolutely adorable, just look at their official webpage blah de blah:

route description – The route consists of four laps leading through two parks “Zielony Jar” and the Pocket Park “Osiedle Na Stoku” along paved alleys. The start and finish are in the same place, ie at the stage/amphitheater in the “Zielony Jar” park. The meeting place for participants is located near the start and finish. The profile of the route is slightly demanding, because the sum of the elevation gains is almost 80 meters.

Amenities – The covered stage in the amphitheater allows you to hide your personal belongings. Near the start there are exercise equipment, a children’s park (swings, slides, merry-go-rounds, etc.), benches with tables to rest, a fenced football/basketball court and an outdoor children’s pool.

Launch location – The start and finish are located at the stage/amphitheater in the “Zielony Jar” park.‘

They have a launch location and an amphitheatre, this is going to be splendid! There are tables you can rest at and an ice cream parlor. Why let snow get in the way of frozen treats after all.

Wait, there’s more – the course looks like this:

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In the spirit of just going along with what everyone else was doing, and knowing I’d be walking anyway, I got in touch with the team by email to offer to volunteer. SUCH A POSITIVE RESPONSE. Even a blue heart emoji, this is living the dream in terms of anticipatory parkrun positivity!

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Just when you think you couldn’t love them any more! They also forewarned me – with a twinkle in their eye (can an email have a twinkle? I’ve decided that Yes! It can!) that this is the ‘most difficult parkrun in Poland‘.

Oh. Really? Erm, wasn’t quite sure what to make of that, but hey ho. And wait? What fresh joy is this. ZUMBA! Granted, they were apologising for the lack of it, but turn that on its head in a half full rather than half empty way, this means that this Polish parkrun has a Zumba warm up role as part of its weekly parkrunday offer. This is beyond awesome. Look! The camera never lies, these are from the parkrun Zielony Jar Facebook page so it must be true! And what’s more, is that actual snow I see. OMG, this is the parkrun that keeps on giving. Cold might not be super fun, but snow very much is!

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I was pretty sure we’d be able to improvise something as an alternative. Zig Zagging on the icy paths perhaps? We would see…

One thing was for sure, this parkrun party was happening. I did have some moments of wondering if it was maybe a bit weird to go away to a foreign land with people you hardly know, but then again, once you have a parkrunner’s Athlete ID that’s all you need. Some Tralee parkrunning friends of mine said their only thing they needed to know about their offsprings’ potential romantic partners was whether they were registered parkrunners and what their home parkrun was. Fair enough. Besides, past experience strongly suggests I’ll be the one with the peculiar eccentricities, I’m pretty sure I snore for a start, I have perfected all sorts of amusing and diverting/decidedly annoying* (*delete as appropriate) tics from living on my own unchallenged for decades and what’s more, I’ll certainly be the slowest out on course, so more of a risk to them than they to me :). To be fair, this very concern was shared by one of my most recent house guests. Have I mentioned recently that I rent rooms out to people working at the Sheffield Theatres? It’s been life enhancing on the whole, so many anecdotes created and shared. Anyway, one of my most recent lodgers arrived with a day in hand so I insisted on taking him out to Stanage Edge because I think a trip out to one of the peak district’s most iconic edges should be mandatory for any first timer in Sheffield. It was as we were driving out to the moors he commented ‘my mum wanted to know how I could be sure you wouldn’t murder me?‘ Leaving aside my abject horror at being old enough to be a parent to this grown up, I had to point out I’d not previously considered this, but now he came to mention it…. Stranger Danger is still a thing apparently. Anyway, I don’t think of a mandatory trip to the Peak District as abduction as such, more a public service. And he didn’t put up all that much of a fight, even though it was a bit of a squeeze in the boot what with all my litter picking paraphernalia already in there. There were even paragliders when we got there, just like in this photo taken by the amazingly gifted Phil Sproson – it’s from October last year. Sometimes I can’t quite believe what glories are just a few miles away from where I live. Get out there and stride about people, it restores the soul.

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Back to Poland!

Acknowledging we’d not really met up before, we were hoping to gather at Scunthorpe parkrun early in the New Year. Not just for the smutty words parkrun challenge (childish but true) but reachable for them from Huddersfield and me from Sheffield. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen, snow and ice and scary driving conditions meant I bottled it. Oh well, we’d meet at the airport – except – spoiler alert, we had a pre meet! Very excitingly, when I headed to Sheffield Castle parkrun who should I meet, but one of my Polish bound parkrunner buddies bearing gifts. She was volunteering as tailwalker and had espied me on the roster too. I had employed no such initiative, so was hugely, and pleasantly, surprised to see her. The gift she bore was in the form of llama leggings, which confusingly, in fact had actual giraffes on them. Unlike llamas (and alpacas and guanaco and vicuna and camels) Giraffes aren’t even part of the camelid family, though weirdly the latin name for the Northern Giraffe is Giraffa camelopardalis. Weird. Oh hang, OMG there was yet more, llama leggings with giraffes on them AND a matching scrunchie. We would all have them, it would be our matchy matchy kit, and to be honest, I was almost as excited about getting to wear my leggings for the first time as getting a z for my parkrun alphabet! It took not inconsiderable willpower to hold back from wearing them straight away I don’t mind admitting.

And then we were on a meet up roll. Next stop Nelson 555 at Concord parkrun and then all over again at Hillsborough parkrun #444 we really must carry on meeting like this. It’s fab.u.lous!

And then, finally it was nearly time to go. What to pack? As little as possible, I’d travel in my parkrun gear, and Red Ted was attached to my walking pole. A million barcodes, a smothering of thermal underwear my favourite hat, and that was about it. At last, the morning dawned – early rise as off to Manchester airport paranoically early. I’ve never driven there before, and didn’t really want to, but there would be no trains after my flight back, so it was drive or have to sort out some accomodation.

Up, and finally, I got to officially wear my llamaleggingswhicharen’tllamasatallbutgiraffeones #llamaleisure

Oh. My. Gawd. About the leggings, before I tried them on, I couldn’t really grasp why people rave about them so much and have so many different pairs – a pattern for any and every occassion. Once I’d had a little go – just to check they fitted ok obvs – I totally got it. Soft and comfy and with pockets. Of course you’d want loads of pairs! Then again, once I’d put them on in the morning for this Polish trip, they have stayed on 24/7 ever since, so maybe the real question is why would you ever need another pair when once on, you don’t want to take them off. I’m now a believer, and happy to be 25% of the legs of Llama Leisure’s recent Facebook post, which immortalises our Poland parkrun jaunt in the marketing archives of llama leisure. It’s a start on the pathway to worldwide fame I suppose. After all, I’m in most excellent company! All I need now is a discount code, and to be persuaded to change into a new pair of leggings. The thing is though, I do really, really like the giraffe ones. Nothing beats having the tallest living terrestrial animal and the largest ruminant on earth etched on your legs after all. Well, actually, having a family of warthogs might, but inexplicably I don’t think they’ve got around to doing that print yet. Never mind, I’m sure it’s only a matter of time, if they want me to endorse their merch, there needs to be some give and take on both sides. Still, fabulous pins all round though I think you can agree. We rock this look like a hurricane! Plus, easy to find each other at the airport.

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I was really worried about the drive to the airport but in fact it wasn’t too bad. I’d prepaid for parking but was thwarted on trying to enter the carpark as the number plate recognition didn’t work. No worries, I had printed out my booking form and buzzed through to the nice man who lives in the carpark. I confidently stated my situation, and after some faffing, he asked me to repeat my number plate again, which I did. Oops, that’s not what I’d typed in with my fat fingers apparently. Oh well, a little token popped out like a copper coin from a penny arcade only more plasticy – this would allow me to exit, and up came the barrier. I had to drive around for ages, sweating, before finally finding one last space which was a really tight squeeze as it was sandwhiched between what were essentially two monster trucks. What I’d have done if there were no spaces at all I just don’t know, it was precarious, but hey ho, in safely. Really short walk to the terminal and phew, I was in.

I was also ridiculously early, so settled down for a wait, exchanging messages with the Heavenly Huddersfielders to get real time updates as to their progress.

SO EXCITING.

And then, at last, we were all together in the giddying embrace of Manchester airport, which was a lot nicer than I remembered it. Then again, last time I went it was pretty much post apocolyptic hell on earth, mid rebuild – possibly even a differet airport. Now it was all spacious clean and even had places to sit! I’m sure there was a photo of Red Ted and RD Ted checking out the departures board, but I can’t find that now, they were excited too though, fyi. Anyway, cue photo dump of excitedly gathering at airport. Turns out, waiting at an airport is waaaaaay more fun when surrounded by parkrun buddies than when all on your lonesome. Who knew? Oh, and wait, I do have photos, thanks to emergency rapid response facebook messaging service! Phew.

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What’s that? It seems to be taking me rather a long time to get to the actual parkrun? Dear reader, you think the waiting is bad! Try being us in the weeks between booking the flights and making it to this point. I have missed so many planned parkruns due to pandemic (Poland; Malmo and a gazillion cancelled uk ones); surgery then illness I was in a state of permanent heightened alert in anticipation of some unexpected horror that might have prevented us from going. I’m sure you can cope with a few minutes of delayed gratification. Delayed gratification is totally not my preferred thing either, but sometimes needs must. Incidentally, did you know that being unable to delay gratification in anticipation of a greater reward later on is associated with psychopathic traits according to some research. Just sayin’. Sociopaths and Psychopaths r us would have to fast forward. Even so, worth mentioning you don’t really have to wait, you can always just scroll down to the ‘good bits’ – assuming there are some still to come, but honestly, at this point, who knows. In fact who amongst us ever really knows anything at all now I come to think of it. So many mysteries in life…

Where was I. Oh yes, about to board a plane.

Guess where we were going! Only actual Krakow in actual Poland!

We were protected for our journey not only by our parkrun wrist bands, but some wrist band keep sakes supplied by one of our number and chosen with great care. Thank you :). So one of us supplied llama leggings, one supplied personally chosen wrist bands and one basically booked all the accommodation and flights. One of us didn’t. But they did remember to pack Red Ted and bring along a copy of ‘How parkrun changed our lives’. Maybe it was a case of from each of us according to our ability. I felt somewhat lacking in terms of my actual contribution to be fair, but I did bring along considerable gratitude and enthusiasm, and perhaps that counts for something too! Oh no, another missing photo of our wrist bands. You’ll have to just take my word for it. This is terrible though, it’s like we are actually supposed to remember things in our head, instead of having lots of pictures on our facebook pages. This is like the bad old days when great swathes of our history went undocumented for decades at a time. I mean, some things can be communicated, but if I don’t find a photo of that little dog we saw… it frankly doesn’t bear thinking about! Some things just have to be seen to be believed. If you know, you know!

The plane journey was for the most part unremarkable, though not the smoothest of rides. And although I say ‘unremarkable’ it is actually pretty remarkable that we all piled into this little aluminium or whatever tin can thingy and flew through the air up high and landed the other side of the sea, so let’s not take such daily minor miracles for granted shall we. Then we arrived! It was cold, it was dark, but we were here! Snow on the ground, well what was once snow compacted into mucky icy patches, but you take my point. Super exciting. Part one of mission Zee accomplished. The llamas had landed!

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The next challenge was getting to the apartment. There is a taxi rank right where you arrive, but instead we went for the uber option. This seemed like a grand idea, but because of the veritable army of vehicles about, it prooved incredibly difficult to spot our actual uber, not helped by our traipsing off in completely the wrong direction to meet it. When our driver and we finally met up, he was decidedly grumpy. Turned out, this was because the confusion meant he’d stayed too long in the pick up area so had to pay extra on exit. We paid the fee in cash (I say ‘we’ but I think we all know that I wasn’t massively proactive in sorting any of this). Our ambassadorial leader sat in the front trouble shooting, and the rest of us squidged companionably in the back of the taxi peering out into the dark and cold night.

The journey wasn’t all that long, and was fun because we were all together, but would have been angst inducing alone. It was pitch out, and for reasons I still can not entirely fathom because it was different on the return, our route out from the airport took us down seeming dirt roads where we bumped about alarmingly. Maybe this is what it felt like for my lodger in the boot of my car? Split four ways though, the 20 minute journey was super cheap – £10.40 in total. So no brainer to get an uber really, hassle free option, I daresay others have done things even more cheaply by public transport, but I was happy to get into a taxi and be magicked to our destination.

And what was your destination? I hear you cry. Well, it was an apartment, picked for being not too far from anything between old and new towns and pretty near the parkrun too. There were detailed instructions of how to get in on arrival. Well, that all looks jolly straight forward, hurrah!

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Teensy problem, on arrival, in the pitch dark, it seemed a somewhat sinister location. Think atmospheric film set for some sort of dark, edgy thriller. Nobody is coming out of this alive. Graffiti daubed buildings, and huge thick inpenetrable doors with grids and brutalist overtones. If I’d been on my own I’d have cried and wet myself. Getting in, was a challenge worthy of any escape room. There was a code by the intercom, but in the dark it was nigh on impossible to read, and it took several attempts before we made our way through the door…

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… and into a freezing hallway which seemed like we’d entered a parallel universe and found ourselves in a long derelict building in a different time zone. I couldn’t fathom if it was times long gone or a future age where all that remained of once grand buildings were screaming ghosts and half formed memories. Never mind, it would be fine. There seemed to be loads of keysafes at every doorway we came to, we tried our second code on each ane every one. Nothing. Zip. Just endlessly rolling numbers like a broken one armed bandit. This did not bode well

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We staggered to the end of the hall, and to yet another door Passing through and found ourselves in a sort of hidden courtyard. Hurrah, surely this must be where we were supposed to be. A huge rusted iron spiral staircase towered up one side, abandoned bikes chained to it’s base. It was atmospheric, but unnerving. We found the next door ajar and entering went up some steps. More key safes. It was like trying to find the holy grail in amongst all those storage containers at the end of whichever Indiana Jones film that was! We found a door that looked like it should be ours, but no means of entry. We scurried up and down stairs and passages trying the entry codes everywhere but to no avail. I stepped back a bit and watched the adventure unfold. Not sure what I could offer in the way of practical assistance, I went for the keeping out of the way option. After all, a wise woman once said ‘it’s not helpful unless you are actual helping‘. I have found this to be good advice, too often unheaded! As I was gazing about, I espied a further hidden keysafe we hadn’t yet tried. Why would we, it was adjacent to a completely different door to the one we actually wanted to enter. I punched in the code without saying a word, after all, what were the chances I’d be lucky where so many before me (well, three to be precise) had repeatedly failed? Well dear reader. You won’t believe this only you better had… it was like Arthur removing the sword in the stone, there was a distinctive clunk and the key toppled from its hiding place into my hand! I felt like an absolute conquering hero. Of course it was unadulterated genius on my part, and not at all an accident of fate.

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Not gonna lie, a bit of a collective sigh of relief too. We were tired from our travels, and it was just borderline getting to the not actually very funny any more stage. Phew, we were in!

Oh wow, it was like entering another world. The apartment was properly amazing. Boiling hot, immaculately clean and extremely well fitted out. Fancy furnishings, including a weird feathered light fitting thing. Oooh, this was a proper adventure. Honestly, if I’d been coming alone I’d have played it safe and gone for a hotel, but this atmospheric, beautifully equipped apartment, now we were actually safely in, was way nicer and a lot more fun. Hurrah! Almost a shame we’d hardly be in it. There was one room with two double beds, a further room with just one double bed and then the living room had a sofa which opened up into a small dble/ large single. Well lush. So cosy as well, I couldn’t believe how much heat was blasting out. I could totally live here, at least until spring anyway.

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We explored the flat, oohed and aahed over all the soft furnishings, divied up the rooms – I got one to myself #livingtheantisocialdream and then after some generic faffery, we opted to head out for the evening for some gentle exploring. None of us wanted a late night, but we did want to explore a little and get something to eat.

We headed down the stairs, and were spat out of our spooky looking apartment onto the icy streets – after we’d worked out how to get out of that huge door again. This was even harder than getting in, did survivalist preppers work out the entry system for this building I wonder? I had to pinch myself at being actually in Poland. The walk was brief, we passed by some cannabis shops – is that legal here then? ‘Medical’ CBD presumably is – and nearby was a marijuana light variant on offer, presumably for any weight watchers out there.

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When we arrived at the main touristy old square it was gorgeous. Stunning architecture surrounded the square. The outer areas of the square were filled with brightly lit outdoor covered restaurants with surrounding greenery making it look positively christmassy. As we walked along we were greeted by various people trying to entice us in. It was clearly very touristy, but you know what we were tourists and it was very nice. We eventually did pick one and pile in and tried dumplings which were properly amazing mushroom filled morsels of delight. The veggie options weren’t brilliant, but the soup I had, mushroom, served in a bowl carved out of lovely bread, the ultimately comfort food. Lovely. Periodically, blanket covered tourists taking rides in the back of horse drawn carriages clip clopped past – the horses, not the tourists. It was all very atmospheric. We wandered back, gazing in awe at the towering basillica and other extraordinary buildings that surrounded us, I had no idea that it was such an impressive city. My bad.

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We were happy bunnies indeed.

Back to our temporary home, and then it was but one more sleep before it was actual international parkrun day. What’s more, it would come around even more quickly than usual, because the clocks had all jumped forward an hour. I know, this was the trip that kept on giving!

So we went to bed, and then we woke up and it was PARKRUNDAY!

It was an early start, but we were all super excited and bouncing about in our matchy matchy outfits in good time. We fell out into the street, admiring our digs in daylight, and onto the pavement outside awaiting our second uber of the trip. The Happy Huddersfield trio took the opportunity to do quite a major workout to keep warm. Surely this would have more than made up for missing out on the parkrun Zumba for this week. This Uber to parkrun was £7.25. Bargain.

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It’s weird being driven about and not knowing where you are going, we ended up being dropped off near a load of high rise flats in the most unpromising of locations but uh, ok. Quick snoop about and then, OMG a parkrun flag. This is really happening now. SO EXCITING!

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By the way, have you noticed our matchy matchy apricot parkrun tops to go with our matchy matchy llama leggings? It just seemed appropriate for our journeying to wear ones from our home parkruns in the UK. One of our number was sad because she had got jam on her apricot tee and it was now stained. However, turns out – get this – it is actually stained with jam that landed on her top whilst at the parkrun ambassadors’ conference last year, so it is in fact parkrun ambassadorial jam, quite probably parkrun ambassadorial apricot jam to boot, so if anything, that enhances her top rather than detracts from it. It’s practically a sacred artifact now, certainly iconic. She should probably frame it for safekeeping, but having said this, I was super excited to get to see that parkrun tee for myself. Sigh, it’s basically like being anointed with apricot jam, very special indeed. And doesnt the high vis and Run Director wonky bear set it off beautifully? Hurrah!

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We couldn’t scurry our way down to the park quickly enough. Soon we were greeted by the sight of an arched erm – well I guess ‘amphitheater’. They had a similar one when I went to Hasenheide parkrun in Berlin, I’d never seen such a structure before, but maybe they are a think in this part of the world. A huge stage with a sweeping arch of heavily graffitied concrete at the back and sides creating shelter of sorts in a brutalist way. The back drop was of bare black trees and the remnants of snow, giving the space a sort of monochrome look. However, as is the parkrun way, little figures in high vis, burdened with cones and signs were busying themselves about the park getting the course set up.

We were actually, properly here! I thought I might burst. I never really thought this day would come! We were pretty early, and knowing overseas parkruns often operate on a ‘just in time principle‘ in relation to turning up, it was impressive to see such activity early on. We were all massively over excited. Imagine a small child on a sugar and food colouring high who has just snorted a line of caffeine and sherbet and bounced around on a trampoline. Got that? Well, that was nothing compared to how excited we were, you need to multiply that by a gazillion and then quadruple it, because the energy and excitement sparked between us like electricity pylons, still live, falling into water. Nobody in the world has ever been more excited than we four this morning. And I’m including when I got a high five from Harry Gration at the start of the Sheffield Half Marathon one year. I know. That excited. Hard to believe. Scary perhaps too, but true!

After a little hesitation, partly due to ice and snow, we scampered down a little slope to the amphitheatre area. Oh my, so many things. Same but different. The lovingly laid out finish line with tape. An actual parkrun urn! Sweet treats as well. A selfie sign, welcoming volunteers. Oh, and signs, so many customised signs to explore. We were warmly greeted by a lovely volunteer who apologised that as we were early their official translator hadn’t yet appeared. She did this in perfect English pretty much. I never even learned to say ‘thank you’ in Polish. It is both handy and mortifying, that for the most part, those we met had near perfect English. I felt shamed at my inability to speak only English, and frankly that often eludes me in times of need. The absence of the interpreter did not stop play. We launched ourselves into photo taken, high vis grabbing and selfie posing. Just like every parkrun everywhere!

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This was beyond excellent, but wait there’s more. Check out the signs, each a new cause of delight and celebration, but one in particular delighted me beyond all the rest. Here be squirrels, not just grey squirrels but actual red ones. If I could see one of them it would be the cherry on the icing on the cake, but surely too much to hope for. Still, no harm in doing some posing. Then we did posing with the volunteers. Then more tourists arrived, I think it ended up about half tourists from the UK and half authentic Polish parkrunners. Some had come on public transport without difficulty, and one couple had also had a bit of a performance getting into their pre booked apartment. Perhaps it is some sort of informal initiation ceremony or rite of passage for incoming tourists? Then our interpreter arrived, a junior with a huge enthusiasm for speaking English and coming to England one day and using an oyster card and travelling on the tube. I wonder why an oyster card is such a cause of fascination, I was kicking myself for not having brought one with me. I had one in my wallet but discarded it as unnecessary to take to Poland so nearly did have one to pass on. It was amazing to have someone to explain and interpret. The welcome was just extraordinary. I think the team may have been a bit bewildered as to why we were all coming over – especially as right now it is winter so in their eyes not massively appealing (in our eyes, there be snow and it be cheap) but they were so up for it. Could not have been more warm and accommodating. They joined in the posing and photographing too. All possible variations were snapped I think before we were done. Here we go, feast your eyes on these shenanagins:

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