Nothing flakey about Watergrove parkrun #393

Well, w(h)at er lovely parkrun Watergrove is.

It’s been on my radar a while. I’d heard it is one of very few that goes properly off to the hills, nice and high, and it is reachable from Sheffield by car which is a boon. Check out the official website blah de blah:

Course Description

The start is at the bridge adjacent to the “History Wall” on the smooth broad track on the east side of the Reservoir. Keep the main reservoir on your left, passing the Tree for Life plantation on your right. Stay on the main track round the bend; past the Sailing Club on your left. At the junction turn right through the open gate and head up the gently ascending cobbled road, between the stone walls and woodlands. Pass the picnic area at Little Town on your left and keep climbing. Pass through the open gate heading out onto the open moorland with the hills of Crook Moor in front of you. The track changes surface at this point from cobbles to a rough, uneven, stoned surface.

As the track levels out at Steward Barn (a reminder of the area’s history) fork left through another open gate. The track now descends steeply with views to your left of the reservoir and, on a good day, Manchester beyond. Continue downhill passing through an open gate and enter Higher Slack Bank Nature Reserve. The track continues to descend steeply, keep left with the brook on your right. At the bottom of the descent take the far open sided bridge across the stream, keeping left, climb the hillside and out of the Nature Reserve through an open gate. Bear left and follow the gravel footpath as it climbs up and once again out onto the open moorland, with views to your left across Watergrove Reservoir to the Peak District hills in the distance. Keep to the left, following the footpath which climbs steeply then descends towards the closed gate at which point you turn around. Return along the path, keeping to the left, descending to the Nature Reserve and admire the view of the Wardle Moor skyline ahead of you.

At the bottom of the hill, re-enter the Nature Reserve and, keeping left, follow the track down towards the stream, cross the stream on the bridge (with hand rails on either side) and turn left to climb steeply out of the valley. Pass through the open gate and onto the open moorland, continue climbing to the next open gate and bear sharp left following the uneven track, Ramsden Road, as it heads steadily uphill. Keep to the left, and as the track bends and levels pass through the open gate, turn around at the nice marshal positioned on the track. As you turn, admire the fabulous views of Watergrove Reservoir and then across Rochdale to Manchester City Centre and the Cheshire Plain beyond. It is now all downhill to the finish as you return down the track. At the junction bear left; at the bottom of the descent turn left through the gate and return to the start area at the “History Wall”.

Due to the terrain, parts of the course may make it harder for people with buggies & pushchairs – please contact the team in advance for further information.

Facilities – Please note there are no toilet facilities.

However, I admit to being deterred by lack of loos, and also a bit hesitant because of my disability. Nerve damage in my leg means I can be wobbly as well as slow, and as it’s not obvious to others, I worry about being able to go at my own pace. Starting with a misleadingly upbeat walk and getting ever slower as the kilometers go by. I hate not being able to be invisible at a parkrun and having to think it through every week, worrying about being a burden is routine. Although the official line is that parkwalkers are always welcome, on the ground it’s not always a great experience, and I try not to set myself up for failure. It’s great therefore to have the solidarity of supportive friends to help me hold my nerve.

The course looks like this:

Sort of a Y shape then, and an out and back within that. Check out all that countryside, it was an exciting prospect. Y not take up the challenge? It would be fabulous. And as for the lack of facilities, well, they do say moving out of your comfort zone is a way to grow in confidence and experience, an agonising kidney infection/ uti would be but a small price to pay for such a magnificent parkrun experience surely?

Shout out to Tring Originals – not to be confused with Werther’s Originals, although to be fair both are jolly nice to have with you on an outing – who contacted me to say they were heading to Watergrove on the way back from a holiday in the Lake District (where incidentally they’d been hobnobbing with the S-Hs and p is for parkrun writer at Whinlatter Forest parkrun the week before #parkrunlegends). Was I up for joining them? Yes I was! It was in the diary months ago, and I’m so glad it was. I’ve been feeling a bit broken of late, and if there hadn’t have been a plan I think this particular parkrun day might have been reframed as an ‘investing in my future self duvet day’, and I’d have missed out. I’d have missed out because Watergrove parkrun is truly spectacular, and it should go without saying the Tring parkrun companions are quality parkrun accessories at any event as well. Really, as with fancy dress and high vis heroes, no parkrun is complete without at least one representative from that iconic event. And if, like me, you get to pick your own bespoke Tringers, well, that’s hitting the parkrun jackpot, obvs! 🙂

The morning dawned. In fact it didn’t really. I have chronic insomnia, which usually means in any given early hour I’m awake, albeit sleep deprived. On this occasion though, after a fitful night when I felt I hadn’t slept at all, I woke up confused having completely slept through my alarm. Aaargh. Nothing for it, but the from horizontal to upright DIY Heimlich Manoeuvre and up and out the door without really registering what was going on. In the circumstances, it’s amazing I remembered to dress myself before exiting the house. The drive would be tight, but doable, I usually allow ages for contingencies like getting lost, needing the loo, finding somewhere to park etc, but this would be just in time parkrun arriving, not really my thing. Again, it was good I’d already committed to where I was going as I may have bailed at this point, but no, I was a parkrunner on a mission, well parkwalker anyway, I would find a way to make it so. Anyhows, don’t know if I’ve mentioned it recently, but now I have an actual SMARTPHONE and the 5k app, I could even identify a NENDY on the way in an emergency scenario. Nope, not beaten yet.

The good thing about oversleeping, is the surge of adrenalin brought about by the horror of potentially missing a parkrun rendezvous zaps you awake, so in the car, blinking and hyper vigilant behind the wheel in next to no time. Off I went.

It wasn’t a bad drive in the circumstances, but coming from Sheffield takes you over Saddleworth Moor, on the M62 which is the highest motorway in the UK apparently. I didn’t know this. Either that it was the highest motorway, or that it would take me across Saddleworth Moor, but a helpful sign enlightens you at the top. Going across the moors brought me up short and was a bit spooky to be honest, there was fog and it is bleak out there. You can’t help but recall the Moors murderers and the area is so vast and expansive, you can see why some victims thought to be still out there were never found. It is a thought provoking drive from Sheffield, spectacular at times, moody, and sometimes pea soup fog. I did wonder if my parkrun destination too would be shrouded in mist.

As I descended from the highest point on the drive I emerged into bright sunshine and glorious views. I felt that wave an anticipatory excitement as the countryside opened up in front of me. I absolutely love this sort of landscape. It feels wild and ancient and the contours of the hills bring perspective on life somehow, and the skies seem vast and open. Yep, this was going to be grand.

Fortunately for me, I’d had inside intel from my Tring scouts who’d spent the night before nearby and done a recce. They’d let me know about the car park and the cobbled road that led there. I was reasonably confident about finding space to park therefore. Previously, having read the notes imploring you not to park in the village of Wardle, I sort of assumed there would be a shortage of parking. In fact, this is a relatively small parkrun and parking was good, though would be a problem if a particular challenge chaser number attracted a huge jump in numbers say. Incidentally, top parkrun touristing tip, send an advance party to photograph the amenities at your destination parkrun the night before to ease stress on parkrun morning. I got this intel. Good isn’t it? You’re welcome. parkrun tourism doesn’t need to be stressful if you bring teamwork to the parkrun party.

wound through Wardle, and lo! There ahead of me was the cobbled path, reservoir service road. I had been warned that you’d need a sports bra to negotiate that, never mind the parkrun. This warning was judicious and helpful – though an understatement. Great way to test out not only the undercarriage of your vehicle of conveyance, but also test out your own pelvic floor. tbh, the lack of precautionary pee facilities on arrival might be purely academic by the time you make it to the car park.

It is an exciting approach, you feel sort of off roady, in part perhaps because you sort of are. I wouldn’t have liked to meet a vehicle coming the other way, but didn’t so that was good. Lots of parking places and my Terrific Tring Twosome handily in situ having parked up already. Aren’t they looking particularly photogenic today? Didn’t even need to remind the to pretend to like each other for the camera which I find I have to do surprisingly often when photographing parkrun people pairs.

I was cutting it finer than I’d have liked, but not too fine. The car park was pretty empty, but a horsebox had pulled up at a far corner and it looked like this might be a regular starting point for long rides across the moor. Also, this provided a little barrier behind which I could disappear to admire the view briefly whilst attending to the necessaries, my pelvic floor muscles having held out sufficiently that I still had a bladder in need of discrete emptying at this point.

The moody skies added to the beauty of the place. You leave the car park and head through a gate up towards the reservoir and the parkrun rendezvous point. The landscape was already glorious and enticing and I was really pleased I’d roused myself from the oblivion of sleep to get here. As is always the case, parkrun was lifting the spirits and we hadn’t even started yet.

We headed off towards the start, it feels like a mini adventure into the wilderness. SO EXCITING!

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Allthough it has a very off road look to it, the surface was pretty good, compact paths leading up to the rendezvous point. The flag and pop up signs welcomed us, with the reservoir visible just over the wall. Volunteers assembled, and tourists took turns to get the pop up shot with the sign and regulars caught up with one another whilst the high vis heroes did the necessaries. All good.

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Quick heads up though, one thing they don’t mention in the course description is that there is a weight limit on the route. 40 – 45 tonnes maximum. Pretty inclusive weight range, but not something I’ve ever seen explicitly indicated at any other course.

What with my new ‘just in time’ parkrun arrival strategy, we had barely posed for photos when it was time for the first timers’ welcome. Fair play, this was one of the most thorough and interesting briefings I’ve encountered. The course was explained in some detail with pictorial aid of a map. We were directed to pay attention as particularly at the end turn around point on one of the Y’s there is a SHUT gate and a cone around which you should turn. One parkrunner, in a moment of discombobulation, or due to not attending properly to the course description at the briefing, instead went through the gate and ended up doing a solitary circuit around the whole reservoir, disconcerting for them and for the volunteer team too, it is sub optimal to lose parkrunners en route. Though to be honest, it is rare for teams to actually count you on the way out, so they’d be none the wise if you vanished out on them there hills as no-one would be counting you back in either. Don’t get me wrong, the landscape is lovely, but now the days are getting shorter again, you really don’t want to be lost out there for all eternity. We were warned about unexpected puddles, slippery cobbled bits allsorts really.

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particular reference was made to an outward bridge and a different return bridge. Here we were to be EXTRA careful, because it has been known for parkrunners to plummet from this bridge into the white water rapids below. That reminds me. In completely unrelated news, there was also to be a tailwalker to keep us all safe, hurrah. No reason. I think there might be trolls under the bridges too, but can’t quite recall. Be careful out there basically. Respect the landscape. And respect the volunteers too. And each other. And other path users. Usual.

Then there was just time for a bit of ‘coats on/ coats off’ faffery,

and moving out of the way of the water company vehicle as a) getting run over em masse can ruin your whole day and generates an avalanche of paper work for the event RD and b) best to keep the water company sweet as it is they who allow parkrun to access the course. The vehicle passed through without incident, and then we gathered near the cattle grid for the RD briefing.

The sun came out, the view – already spectacular – opened up even more, and the gathered parkrunners formed a respectful semi circle around the RD. Again, a thorough briefing. This was even number 393 so I suppose by now it is a well oiled machine, though fairly minimalist on the number of volunteers. Not necessarily by choice I gather, they have struggled a bit to get the volunteers needed each week, as have many parkruns post covid. Still, a quality volunteer band, if not a quantity one, and supplemented by carefully placed conery and signage en route.

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My favourite bit of the RD briefing though was the picture of the sheep. This is not to in anyway diminish the excellence of any of the other aspects of the briefing, but it just really tickled me that there was a sheep warning. Or were we being alerted to a particular sheep to watch out for? Embarrassingly I didn’t take note. Or was it a representative sheep to warn us about sheep in general. I don’t think they were actually carnivorous or anything, but even if they were, as a walker at the back of the pack, they would not doubt have feasted to their fill on the faster parkrunners by the time I got there, so no worries. I wonder if at Australian parkruns they show photos of wallabies or sharks or whatever by way of warning as well. Maybe one day I’ll find out. As long as the sheep had their baa-codes, all would be well. Sorry. Sorry, did I say sorry? I meant not sorry, obvs. 🙂

The RD is clearly making a very serious point judging by his expression though, I should have concentrated a bit more instead of being distracted by the loveliness of the sheep in question.

Briefing concluded, it was a group procession over the cattle grid, or down the track to the start just the other side. All very companionable..

and then it was ‘suddenly’ time for awf!

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I did my usual slotting in right at the back. Pleasingly, there was another walker, disappointingly, she hadn’t realised you could walk at parkrun, and as someone accompanying faster parkrunners had already committed to doing a shorter, waterside walk, so she could meet them at the finish which would be speedier than her walking pace. Oh well, she joined the tailwalker briefly, before peeling off. Next time eh?

And off we went, in pursuit of, or more accurately in the wake of, those fleeter of foot. I pity them though, all that running up hills til their eyes bleed means they missed out on soaking up the most spectacular hills. I knew that this would be a very fine parkrun, but honestly, I was completely blown away by the landscape. You do feel out in the wilds. It’s a tough course if you opt to run it, and not gonna lie, I felt the elevation in my calf muscles, but as a 5k parkwalk it is absolutely gorgeous. The scenery is breath-taking. It changes a lot too, you move upwards through wooded paths, and then ‘suddenly’ are on the edge of open moorland. As you stride, saunter, or sprint onwards you have to make a point of looking to your left to take in the views of the reservoir, although you can’t have gone that far, you can make out the start and it looks miles and miles away. I felt transported to another world. I don’t doubt that it might get decidedly nippy out there in winter, it’s pretty exposed up the tops, but today was gorgeous.

As you get higher, there is a point at which you meet another marshal at the intersection of the branches of the Y shape. She helpfully points in all directions to shoo parkrunners in the right direction. Higher up I could make out the graceful partial silhouettes of the wind turbines emerging from the mist. I know many people loathe them, but I quite like them. They have a sculptural quality.

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The cobbled track had a sort of ageless feel to it. No doubt slippery when wet, they were negotiated safely by all today … as far as I know. The reservoir consumes the old village of Watergrove, so maybe the roads date back to when that village was still a community. Watergrove Reservoir submerged the village in 1938 apparently. Also, fyi, parkrun gets a mention on its Wikipedia page. Hurrah!

A free, weekly, 5 km parkrun takes place every Saturday morning. The event is hosted by local volunteers and was first held on Saturday 7 June 2014.[3]

and they’ve even written it allonewordalllowercase #dreamsreallycancometrue

We paused to watch some of the front runners pounding up the hill, and then continued down the slope, cheering on the parkrunners pushing on through gritted teeth, not gonna lie, walking down was probably more fun in the actual moment, though i daresay those parkrunners would feel a great sense of achievement by the end of proceedings.

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I’m sure even those with apparently gritted teeth were happy on the inside.

I had the tailwalker with me anyway, but there were marshals at critical points, pointing us through open gateways and over bridges, cones keeping outward and returning parkrunners safely apart on one stretch.

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Oh, and there were even actual sheep as promised/warned in the RD briefing. I couldn’t be sure if they were the same actual sheep pictured earlier – lakes a lordy, I hope it hadn’t been a wanted poster we’d been shawn. (see what I did there). Anyway, they didn’t seem to be up to any particular mischief, though possible being somewhat furtive lurking in the undergrowth now I come to think of it….

As advised, you could indeed see right across to Manchester and it was an impressive sight. I have a soft spot for the open moorland too, it calms me, and I love the feeling that you can walk for miles and miles. Whether or not you actually can, I’m not sure, but it was spectacular and healing all the same.

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then we got to the end of the road with the closed date and the cone that marked our turning point. Not really sure how you could misread this, but then again, I have been known to face the wrong way at the start of an unknown parkrun so perhaps should refrain from judging. Also, I think a run round the reservoir would be jolly nice in its own right anyway, just it would be shame if you were thwarted from claiming your parkrun due to avoidable navigational error. Consider yourself warned dear reader.

and turning back and returning from whence you came, back to the Y line intersections is actually pretty splendid, because you appreciate the views all over again but in different light, and this time get to head onwards and upwards to the wind turbines. First though, you have to negotiate the back route on the alternative bridge. I noted the tailwalker very particularly went over the parallel bridge to me to ensure I was safe. Also, by splitting up, if the bridge troll was active, it would only be able to make a grab for one of us, leaving the other free to go and get help. Wasn’t needed on this occasion, but you can’t be too careful. This is why parkrun is so thorough in its risk assessments, and quite right too.

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Back round again, and it was a gentle incline back to the start, a cheery marshal waiting by the gate to see us safely home. Google photos did this clever colour pop thing, good though isn’t it? Proper high vis hero tooled up and ready for all eventualities, hurrah!

At we were descending, the Tring Twosome, who had completed their parkruns came back out as a sort of personal escort to help shepherd me home. It was good to walk and talk and take it all in. A fine parkrun finale indeed.

and back to the warm figurative embrace of the finish funnel team. I was a good 10 minutes or so behind the penultimate completer, but the team seemed ok with that which was a relief. We were timed in and scanned in record time and thanked the team before wending our way back down to the carpark. Rather sweetly, a child on a mini bike really wanted to race the tailwalker home, but she had to stay behind me and alas, I wasn’t running anyway. No matter, the a Tringer saved the day with a sprint back, suspect she didn’t beat the bike though, but had fun trying, and hope, she didn’t go through the finish funnel twice, so all good, and no palpitations for the timers either. Oh look at my finish token, hurrah. No, not that, don’t be childish, I got a position bingo number too, didn’t even know that was a think, but my 5k app thing tells me so, and who am I to disagree.

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On the way back we passed some other walker/runners one of whom accosted me to enquire about my llama leggings. She has been considering purchasing some, and wanted to check about sizing. Although my leggins have giraffes on them, they are nevertheless llama leisure ones, and they are indeed splendid. It’s the pockets and comfiness of them, and they are half the price of many of their competitors, though probably I could do with a bit of a higher cotton count in the gusset area to be honest, but generally, splendid. My interrogator consented to a leg shot, funny what being a llama legging wearing parkrunner has normalised apropos of conversations with strangers. And a fine thing too!

my giraffe leggings are my absolute favourites though. Why wouldn’t they be.

After this little brand ambassador interaction, we continued to our cars. The plan was to check out the recommended breakfast venue. Parking in the village was a worry, but we had some inside information, not sure if I should fess up, but then again, handy intel. and it is in the website info.

We were headed to Charlie’s Coffee and Cakes, 135 Ramsden Road, Wardle, OL12 9NX, and to achieve this, we availed ourselves of the free parking at the Conservative club OL12 9JU from which it was just a few paces to the coffee shop. There may have been some nervous laughter shared between us as we speculated on what would happen if we broke down at this spot. We agreed absolutely no photos and we shall not speak of this again. It’s to remain a secret between you and I dear reader.

and so to Charlie’s then. It was splendid. It’s not a big place, and at first we thought there’d not be room for us, but lo, there was a separate area to the back with squishy sofas. It was a super friendly place and we enjoyed a leisurely post parkrun breakfast. We m arveled at the blast from the past which was spam on the menu. Yep, one of our party succumbed to this novelty, because how often do you see spam on a menu these days. Basically never. It came, it was consumed, turns out, there is a reason why, like angel delight, spam only appears rarely as an option. As a novelty value though it was like travelling back in time, I half expected to see pricing options in green shield stamps, but alas no!

Oh, on reflection, looks like I only half remembered the venue. I had a squishy sofa, but sitting opposite was a bit more of a test of poise, still I was fine, so there you go.

But wait! There’s more. Turns out my Tring friends had been stalking my parkrun progress, and identified this as being my 99th different parkrun, arbitrary perhaps, but a great excuse for bringing out the flakes and this they had done just for me! A multi pack, well this was excellent, we might not be able to do the 99 ice cream itself, this not being an ice cream serving sort of establishment, but we did break open the multi pack. There being four, I got to keep two and the others got one each. Except that then, using his personal charm and charisma 50% of the Tring party was able to negotiate for some ice cream in which to insert the flake to create a reimagining of the original flake. It was such an amazing surprise, it made me feel all warm and squidgy inside. Really thoughtful, and all the better for being entirely unexpected. Ane, even better, the serving presentation caused much hysterical guffawing for the placement of erect flake proudly atop two adjacent spherical scoops of ice cream. Doesn’t take all that much to get us started apparently. For the second time that morning I wasn’t sure if my pelvic floor would hold out, this time from laughing rather than from bouncing along a cobbled service road!

my parkrun companions attempted to pay for the ice cream on exiting, but the offer was waved away with a smile. They done it as a favour and didn’t really have a pricing category for it. Thinking on her feet, the other 50% of the Tring contingency proffered her remaining flake by way of exchange. The upshot was, they ended up having no flakes and I took home two and ate one in situ. Was I supposed to share? Possibly. That’s the trouble with hindsight, not massively helpful unless you combine it with the ability to travel in time, which I don’t have, despite the spam encounter of the morning. Anyway I didn’t. Only the one spoon, and surely the best way to show my appreciation was to just scoff the lot. I like to think so …

Anyway, the upshot was it was a wonderful healing parkrun morning, a much needed boost after a tricky week. The parkrun itself was way up there with my favourite ones to date. It is simply stunning, granted, we got it on a good day for views, but i bet it is equally glorious every time, albeit different every time too. It is one that is prone to winter cancellation though due to ice and snow. Apparently it was also on something of a knife edge re going ahead today too, due to lack of volunteers, so keep an eye out if you are planning a trip, and if you have a non running friend to volunteer, or are able to volunteer yourself, I’m sure you will be welcomed with open arms. Dress for the exposure on the moors though, think hat, buff and thermal vest. Outer garments as well obvs, not just hat, buff and thermal vest, that would be weird. Maybe a scarf and gloves too, right nippy out there on them there moors.

So it was a very fine morning. Thanks as always lovely parkrun high vis heroe, and thanks especially to my loyal Tring Troopers. It was such a tonic to meet up and great to be given a reason to commit to going to Watergrove parkrun at last instead of just thinking ‘one day’. If Watergrove is a ‘one day’ parkrun on your list, do yourself a favour and fix a date in the diary to go, you are missing out if you don’t.

Sigh.

Perfect parkrun morning.

Hope you had one too, wherever you were, or do again soon.

In the meantime you could always browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.

Thanks for stopping by.

Wat er day for the NHS celebrations at Watermead Country Park parkrun

Well, that was splendid.

It’s true, there were some things I didn’t entirely think through, but to be fair, that isn’t really particularly novel in my parkrun touristing world, and besides, it adds a frisson of excitement to proceedings, that element of jeopardy that keeps you on your toes and makes you feel truly alive.

Oh, have I not explained properly? Well, today was parkrunday, obvs. But parkrun day with a twist. To mark the 75th birthday of the NHS, many parkruns were geared up for a celebratory day. NHS staff would be especially encouraged to attend, some NHS trusts proactively got involved with particular events over the weekend (Yay for NHS Children’s Hospitals for helping Sheffield Olympic Legacy junior parkrun go with an extra swings and an abundance of flaggery and blue t-shirts on the Sunday). One of my parkrun circle, who is a real life NHS hero and physiotherapist had elected to come to Watermead Country Park parkrun on this day. A venue picked primarily because of its geographical location, people were gathering from North and South and all sorts of very very far away to come together for the morning. Blue was encouraged, as was fancy dress. Newbies especially welcome. Hurray.

I was feeling especially pleased, because I am now in possession of some fetching (these adjectives are subjective I know) blue scrubs! I know! The luck eh. I’ve acquired them as part of my costume options for supporting artist work, only a fiver, an absolute bargain, fantastic to have an opportunity to give them a proper outing. I donned them, and yeah! I totally looked the business. A triumph! However, as all Eeyore appreciating people know, no silver lining comes without a cloud. It dawned on me that I might be mistaken for an actual medic. At best, I might be receiving unworthy praise and recognition. I know NHS staff got actual medals at one parkrun – Brierley Forest parkrun apparently, there was a takeover by Nottinghamshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust I understand. I mean medals are always fun aren’t they, better that a round of applause and saucepan banging, probably not as good as a pay rise, but fun to have all the same. However, at worst, I might be called on to intercede in the event of a medical emergency. I mean, obvs I’ve watched a lot of episodes of casualty over the years, so I’d be fine with diagnosing an ectopic pregnancy or spotting someone about to fall off a ladder, but those are fairly narrow parameters of helpfulness, I probably shouldn’t try to pass as a medic of any sort. I would be great tending to people who were pretending to be injured or ill though. I’d be confident I could nail that. Then again, maybe someone would stand me a coffee. Accepting a proper coffee would probably be ok wouldn’t it? Make the giver feel pleased they had made this gesture of recognition, it would be rude of me to decline it. Yes, I’d accept decent coffee, and a round of applause and pan banging (well, volunteers get clapped at parkrun every week anyway don’t they) but I’d walk away from performing DIY tracheotomies using only the outer casing of a biro and a steel nerve, also field operations (including amputations) and AED supervision. That seems a reasonable compromise. Yes, it’ll be fine and dandy. Maybe ditch the fake ID though. Don’t want to push my luck too far. And breathe. All good.

As you may already know dear reader, I can’t run currently, it’s debatable whether what I did previously constituted actual running, but it was significantly speedier than I can manage now without too much ouching or post event exhaustion. Anyways, I decided I’d volunteer as parkwalker as that was a role that was still available, and the blue high vis would set off my blue scrubs just lovely. There was a friend already tailwalking so the party at the back promised much banter, photo posing and all round good times.

Unfortunately, night before, tailwalking friend was incapacitated! Disaster. Well, more accurately, she was already incapacitated earlier in the week, but had thought she’d manage to drive, but alas, it was not to be. Last minute shenanigans and emails to the team. Lo, I would be tailwalker. That’s ok, I can rock orange just as well as blue, and as I do struggle to walk at any speed, might even be better off officially at the back of the pack instead of just ending up there like the dregs of tea leaves at the bottom of a pot. Although the original tailwalker is a parkrun legend and would be much missed, we would bravely continue as best we could without her. We might be but a shadow of the vitality she could bring, but we would struggle on in her name. I say ‘we’ because I was not alone. Oh joy, my EWFM and parkrun buddy would come with an actual tail, and complete the tailwalking duo. It’d be fine and dandy. parkrunners from across the land, gathering at Watermead like druids meeting at Stonehenge. Pretty much identical to that as Watermead Country Park does have it’s very own stone circle too fyi, so plenty of opportunity for re-enacting ancient druid rituals, or indeed creating your own. Your own ritual that is, not stone circle, though feel free to have a go if you have the space to do so, I wouldn’t want to crush creative impulses.

I know, a stone circle is always a boon at a parkrun I find. Not sure why it isn’t mandatory to have one in the way having a defibrillator is. I daresay it will be in time. Might be quite a long time though. Stonehenge is afterall about 5000 years old and has yet to have a parkrun linked to it. . Watermead Country Park parkrun is but two years old (nearly) and though it’s hard to be absolutely sure, I doubt their stone circle is as ancient as Stonehenge. I’m sure it is just as much fun though, maybe more so, as you can frolic amongst the stones up close and personal should the mood take you.

Incidentally, did you know that Cecil Chubb bought stonehenge at an auction when he was supposed to have bought some dining room chairs instead? Thought not. We’ve all done it haven’t we? Blown our budget on a national monument instead of getting the one practical item we really needed. Bet his wife was furious, they’d have to stand up for all their meals in perpetuity, and this was before standing desks was a thing! It’s all very well being ahead of the times, but there are limits.

I have no idea if the story is true obvs, but it pleases me, so I don’t intend to investigate more thoroughly. Here is the Stonehenge Wikipedia page just in case though… oh and there is one for Cecil Chubb too – seems he did! Gosh, well good for him. Bought stonehenge, I don’t know whether he bought dining chairs or not…

Anyway, stop distracting me, I’m all over the place, it’s a while before we get to the stone circle shenanigans, let me go back a bit.

Watermead Country Park parkrun then. After initially just deciding to blindly follow friends to their destination of choice I thought I ought to do a bit of pre parkrun research. I established there is a satnav postcode to follow, but it may lead you astray, so you are warned to follow the brown Country Park North signs instead. There is plenty of parking within the park, but it will cost you £2.50 which is pretty fair. The other option being to park at the Hope and Anchor pub carpark just outside the entrance to the Country Park, where volunteers and others can park for free if they agree to either vacate the pub by 10.30 or stay on for post parkrun faffery and brunch. They don’t say parkfaffing, they say breakfast, but I think we all know what is implied.

According to the official parkrun website the Watermead Country Park parkrun course is described thus:

Course Description
The course starts in the north eastern corner of the picnic field opposite the main car park.
The route is an anticlockwise lap of John Merricks Lake, turning right after one lap back past the toilet block, along the path bordering the picnic field over the small wooden bridge and then 2 clockwise laps of King Lears Lake.

and it looks like this:

so, essentially like a pair of glasses that you’ve either sat on, or dropped and trodden on. Or if you are the sort of person who is really careful with your specs, someone else has done that to them on your behalf. To be crystal clear though, unlike your breaking your specs which would be both very annoying and unhelpful, Watermead Country Park parkrun is not annoying at all, and in fact completely delightful as well as being positively helpful for mental, physical and emotional health, do try not to confuse these things, could be very awkward. More awkward even than having to have a bash at an impromptu emergency procedure in an attempt to brazen out wearing misleading blue scrubs to an NHS birthday parkrun for example. You have been warned.

Emails went back and forth, and then I received a reminder email for volunteering. Oh wow! This was the most comprehensive volunteer email I’ve ever had. I appreciated it. It included details on the course, where marshal points were located, information about parking. Best bit though (which was hard to choose as there were a great many best bits) was the request that you make sure you are there in good time. ‘Please arrive between 8:15 am and 8:30 am. It’s really important that you are not much later than this as the Run Director may break out in “hot sweats and be just a little anxious”.’ This is so well said! If you are an unknown volunteer especially, all event organisers get inwardly twitchy as time ticks on in case you may be a no show. This is self evident to anyone who has been involved in a core team putting on an event, but it is worth stating. Run Directors are only human, and don’t wish to unduly age before their time. I’ve not seen this point made in the volunteers email before, it was a good point, well made. Might even steal it.

So I headed off at stupid o’clock, but nothing like as stupid o’clock as last week at Newbiggin by the sea parkrun, which took all week to recover from.

It was an easy drive to Leicester. I’d fretted about not being able to find it because of the warning that the satnav wouldn’t take you to the right place, and not being able to get there from the A46, oh and I was unsure about precautionary pee facilities too, and how would I know what the Hobby Horse Roundabout was. Would there be an actual hobby horse in situ to make things clear? Consequently I pulled off at a service station a few miles away to powder my nose, get petrol and check the map. I then, bravely, aimed for the postcode and lo! Found myself at a roundabout that has the Hobby Horse pub on it. Whilst I was disappointed there was no hobby horse to be seen, it was fairly evident this would be the titular roundabout. The satnav actually worked well, but you need to hold your nerve as it feels a bit like you are going into a dead end industrial estate. However, there are indeed big brown signs to Watermead North and on my experience you can’t really get lost. The satnav did think I’d arrived at my final destination (not death, the parkrun start) a bit before I had, but just a bit further on and I was at the Hope and Anchor pub, where there was loads of parking, a picturesque canal, and level headed people going about their early morning deliveries. I parked up, saving myself £2.50. and being ideally situated for post parkrun refreshment purposes as well. Forward planning you see, it’s a gift.

I was really early, so sauntered off in the direction of the park entrance. It’s just over the brow of a hill and a little bridge, and it was all lovely.

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Oh look, here is the big sign so I know I’m in the right place, and there is the car park handily right near the entrance, and if my memory serves me correctly, the gathering place for the parkrun is right near the car park. Ooh, I’m going to be so early.

I started sauntering off, and quickly saw a ‘caution runners’ sign, indicating I was definitely in the right place, and that the course set up team must set up really early. I found myself walking further and further and losing confidence a bit in my directional impulses. The views across the water were fabulous though, and rich undergrowth, made lush and vigorous by recent rain made if feel quite other wordly and completely lovely.

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Eventually, after 10 mins or so of rambling about, I came upon another park user, who pointed me ahead up the road to where the parkrunners were assembling. Oh. Turns out, there are many carparks. The one right at the entrance isn’t the best one, instead, head right on up the road and you’ll get to one a bit further away which is bang next to open patch of grass where everyone actually assembles. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t a crazily long way, but it is around 10 -15 minute walk, depending on how many photos you have to take along the way, which is long enough to make you late for the pre run briefing if you are too complacent about arrival times. You could however, use the what three words app, as they suggest. That takes you to the metre square grid where you need to be. I regret now not checking out exactly where this was, but choose to believe it is where they plant their parkrun flag. So do as I say, not as I do, and all will be reyt.

I emerged round a corner of undergrowth, and there they all were. Huge kudos for their magnificent wheeled equipment vehicle. This is a very well kitted out team. Carefully arranged lanyards hung on hooks labelled by marshal point, so you could tell at a glance if anyone was yet to arrive. The RD and entourage had not only a clipboard – always a sign of competence and authority, even without the addition of a high vis – but also an actual table and pen! They marked off people as they arrived. The funnel was already under construction, and further away, I could see a very fine proper posh coffee van setting up. Looked like it would be brewing up the good stuff, a hipsters dream. Though FYI it came in a cup rather than a jam jar, so maybe bring your own jar if that serving style is important to you.

As I was approaching the gathering, my EWFM messaged to say she was on her way, but delayed on account of being on the wrong motorway. This involved an extra 6 miles up and 6 miles back down, not a good start to the morning. It is important to put on record this was not a navigational error, but a driver error. She was not driving. No hard feelings, but she was definitely right, good to know.

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I introduced myself and explained about my fellow tail walker being on the wrong motorway. That was fine, the RD seemed not to break out into a sweat and didn’t need to breathe into a paper bag or anything. Mind you, this team are so well organised, I bet somewhere in their kit bag they have a paper bag carefully put by for just such an eventuality. I picked up a high vis, was told there was a separate marshal briefing shortly. I asked another regular about facilities, because you can never have too many precautionary pees and it’s good to check these things out. Turns out, there are loos, and whilst maybe not the most salubrious I’ve ever graced, they were perfectly adequate and within the first 100 yards or so of the parkrun route. There was a sign warning of speedhumps which was rather sweet. The speed humps are of rather polite proportions and not much of an obstacle, hardly hurdling territory, but I daresay what the course risk assessment notices the core team are obligated to address. Good work!

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After a bit, my EWFM arrived, with tail, and anecdotes about her journey. We had time to find and pose with the bespoke selfie frame. I rather liked it, though whoever produced it hadn’t got the memo about parkrun being aowalc (all one word, all lower case) but honestly, who cares when it was so obviously awesome! We had to do quite a lot of posing with it, and with others in our NHS mini meet up, which included actual NHS staff in proper scrubs that have seen action with blood and guts and all sorts of bodily fluids that we prefer not to think of. Phew, I’d be able to hang back if a medic was needed as this merry crew would be able to cover most eventualities. I could just focus on getting some good pre parkrun pics. Like to get in early with these, in case the gear has been packed away by the time I finish. Also, FYI we are more competent than we may appear at first glance in the photos. Just because we are looking in different directions doesn’t mean we aren’t on it, au contraire, it means we have all angles covered. You’re welcome. Also, emotional support animals are a good thing to bring along to a parkrun with you, especially ones in tailwalker colours that aren’t at all made out of old parkrun tailwalker high vis that was supposed to be returned to parkrun hq for recycling. Just to be even clearer. You are still welcome. That’s not an old, now redacted pop up sign either, no, I mean it isn’t, just proving my point.

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Next stop, volunteers briefing. This was really helpful, it meant you got a clear sense of who was doing what, an opportunity to ask questions. We were told which lanyards to pick up as tailwalkers, and told who was the RD for the day and where to find their number on the lanyards. If you were a brand new volunteer all this clarity would be especially reassuring. Me and my be-tailed buddy found out we’d have walkie talkies because we were extra important, and we got clarification on our duties re collecting cones etc on the way around. I like parkruns that bring the volunteers together in some way, whether that’s a team photo or just walking marshals out to their point on the course like at Sheffield Olympic Legacy Park junior parkrun as it’s a chance to get to know other volunteers. We had squillions of volunteers for our NHS take over junior event on the Sunday – you know what, I’m going to include some bonus photos of that here. You’ll feel like you have travelled in time.

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Then after a bit more smooching with other parkrunners, we were called together by the RD – who I learned was actually co-ED as well, to attend the first timers’ welcome. Again, this was really thorough, there is a proper map to explain the route, and plenty of clear explanations and opportunity to ask questions too. Yay. Nice expressive arm gestures too, I think the first timers’ welcomer would do a cracking zumba class lead too. You often find this on event teams, people are multi-skilled and versatile, an asset in any context. Or if not Zumba, then lead a cult, a benign cult, not a horrid one, something along the lines of, oh I don’t know, maybe a parkrun say? Yep, that would be it. Nice charismatic and welcoming to the fold. A great event to have as your first time everer as much as a regular or tourist I’m sure.

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So now we had been inducted and welcomed and all was good, we were issued with a first aid kit. My EWFM donned this much to my relief, if I’d had that as well as my scrubs I would have had nowhere to hide.

More and more parkrunners gathered. This is a busy parkrun, chilled, but popular. Turns out there had been promotion of the NHS celebratory event, so a local(ish) rehabilitation college had opted to come along with some of their students and supporters to do the 5k walk which was rather excellent.

The RD gave a briefing with the usual shout outs, mention of the NHS event, welcomes, thank the volunteers, milestones etc aided with a very good speaker system. You could certainly hear everything, although I was initially confused because the sound was coming from the speakers (obviously) which were quite a distance from where he was standing so it was a disembodied voice, like the Wizard of Oz of something but without the dry ice or lion, scarecrow and tinman for company. One consequence of the speaker system though, was that some parkrunners just talked more loudly through the briefing than ever. It really does bug me when people can’t just be quiet for the briefing it’s just such a basic courtesy and pretty much the only requirement. They may have heard it before, but others haven’t and it’s just rude. I wonder if, as parkrun has grown, participants maybe don’t always appreciate it is a volunteer run event that relies on its communities to happen. RDs and others in the core team deserve a bit more support, if you can’t volunteer then you could at least be quiet for briefings, that would be a start.

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Oh well. Soon enough we were counted down and awf!

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I watched the field run, jog, jeff and walk on by, and we two were in waiting to slot in at the back. There were some stragglers. A fair few, who came sprinting up to the back of the pack, so we paused to let them join in so we could be sure we were at the absolute back of the pack for effective chootling (chatting and pootling) purposes. We remembered we needed to channel our inner flamboyant performative selves for photo purposes in tribute to our much missed back of the packer. We tried our best, but couldn’t entirely sustain it, maybe we peaked too early.

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Because we waited for the latecomers, who then sprinted on past, we were a teeny bit behind the walkers who had set off with the rest of the pack. We walked briskly to catch them, and my EWFM checked out the amenities on the way past. In due course we came to a friendly marshal, who passed us the first of what were to be two walkie talkies, oh yes we were that important. And we did some negotiating re which cones to collect and which to leave in the possession of marshals, since those on the first lap would be stood down as we passed.

Eventually we caught up with the walkers who turned out to be part of the group from the Leicestershire Recovery College. Check out their t-shirts, carefully amended from ‘always here to help’, to just ‘always here!’ I’m not sure I quite got to the bottom of why, but it was hilarious. Apparently at one time they had staff tops in IKEA some of which said ‘here to help’ and some which said ‘happy to help’ also hilarious, I wonder what the criteria were for allocating them. There is a certain integrity in the wording of which I approve. There was a great turn out from the college who seemed to be really enjoying a companionable walk round in the stunning setting of Watermead. They took the time to appreciate their surroundings and take photos en route which is a great strategy if you are walking and talking around. It’s one I favour for sure, those photo pauses give your body a chance to reset if walking is painful.

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As the walkers ahead seemed to be in companionable step and chat, we hung back a little to give them some space having exchanged pleasantries. Besides, we had to collect our important walkie talkie and get training on it ‘you push and talk’. We also had to greet and photograph every marshal, and collect cones from the first lap to drop off at the start/finish area as we passed through on the waist of the figure of eight bit of the course – or bridge of the squished spectacles if you prefer. They do send round a sweeper vehicle of sorts, so anything that is too heavy or bulky to carry can be left, but where is the fun in that. Far better to see how much we could carry, or more accurately how much my EWFM could carry without dropping as one of us had to document her progress and clearly that would be me. It reminded us of Crackerjack and that ‘game’ at the end.

‘One of the games was a quiz called Double or Drop, where each of three contestants was given a prize to hold for each question answered correctly, but given a cabbage if incorrect. They were out of the game if they dropped any of the items awarded or received a third cabbage. While the winner took his or her pick from a basket of toys, every runner-up won a much-envied marbled propelling pencil as a prize, which became so popular that in 1961 Queen Elizabeth II, who visited the programme, was presented with Crackerjack pencils for her children Prince Charles and Princess Anne.‘

This game delivered the important life lesson to children that the winner takes it all, crushing disappointment can be snatched from the jaws of hope in an instant and what little you have may be taken away from you at any moment due to forces that you can neither understand nor control. It further demonstrates that the royal family get stuff without even having to show up, let alone carry so much as a single cabbage. I understand (by which I mean I’ve just made this up) that the show went on to inspire the cabbage soup diet. If you don’t know what that is, consider yourself truly blessed.

Anyway, she did very well, and we say some lovely sights along the way, and not just in the beauty of the marshals’ shining faces as we passed. Check out the walkie talkie handover, stuff of olympic relay teams.

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Towards the end of the first lap, we secured custody of a second walkie talkie, so now we were properly tooled up for the challenge of the second lap. We looked very busy and important, laden with first aid kit and walkie talkies and an air or capability and responsibility. First lap done and dusted, we were off round past the finish, which was buzzing with parkrunners who had already completed

and so to our next two laps, in a clockwise direction around King Lear’s Lake, I wonder why it’s called that, seems a bit odd.

The pace was chilled and the company excellent. We were joined by one of our number who had already finished his parkrun who was doing another lap purely because he’d seen some McDonalds litter en route. He hadn’t wanted to interrupt his run to pick it up, but didn’t want to leave the park without removing it. Of course, no kind act goes unpunished it seems, and now he looked like the sort of person that brought a McDonalds with him to parkruns for consumption afterwards. We know otherwise, and commend his actions. Hurrah. Also, check out his barcode athlete ID on his t-shirt. Classy.

Actually, now seems a good moment for an interlude of parkrunner portraits. These are courtesy of the proper official photographer on the day Mick Brown, actually, I think there may have been more than one. See if you can spot the proper NHS peeps and the Watermead Wavers, which is apparently a thing. A variant on the ‘seen a photographer‘ snapshots ubiquitous at many parkruns – and indeed other events. Some wavers look somewhat panicked, I think the excitement maybe got to them, there is no shame in that, it happens. Well done all.

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The circuit of the second lake brought even more exciting discoveries. There is lots of play equipment which I think has been particularly constructed as an enrichment activity for anyone walking at parkrun in general and tailwalkers who are trying to maintain a respectful distance from the walkers at the back to avoid crowding them. I can confidently report it’s harder to clamber the spider’s web than you might think, though there was no real spider in situ, mercifully. That bridge steppy thing? Quite hard not to fall off. Fortunately, my EWFM has perfected the art of falling off a log so that was fine and dandy too. We had some people still lapping us, including some especially euphoric because they’d never previously made it past the tailwalkers before #winningatparkrunchallenges hurrah! We helped the walking group. pose for photos at the stone circle, encouraging jumps and smiles and general joy. I think I might have seen a huge amount of invasive Himalayan balsam I hope not, that’s a real menace, nightmare to get rid of and crowds out everything else.

What are those statues at the other side of the lake. Oh wait, they are of King Lear, you know the end of that Shakespeare play. How splendid, also a bit random, but that’s OK, I like random things. And as you get around the other side of the lake you get closer to them and lo, we found a trio of swans posing perfectly, an echo of King Lear’s three daughter perchance? This route is most satisfactory.

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The route that brought us dinosaur skeletons and Shakespeare statue kept the greatest treasure for it’s furthest point. Dear reader, we found ourselves at Dog Poo Corner! This is quite a course landmark, a variation on Elisabeth’s Corner at Bushy parkrun, though the former, like the latter, has made it onto the official course description. You can see why, a triumph of design and utility. I don’t know how you get the honour of being allocated this role, whether it is a reward for good service or a random act of kindness who knows. I myself have undertaken volunteer marshal duties which involved standing in front of a dog poo bin at Endcliffe parkrun (though I think it was known as Sheffield Hallam parkrun at the time). It was my task to be a human bollard to stop parkrunners running into said bin. They could crash into me instead. On reflection, I’m still not entirely sure how that was preferable, but there you go. Incidentally, if you are reading this and contemplating volunteering but feeling a bit overwhelmed about whether you’d be up for this level of responsibility, fear not. All parkruns will give full training on all and any roles, and you can work up to any that you might consider daunting, or do as I did, buddy up with a friend to share the load, unless it’s a literal load of cones (which sounds like I’m swearing but I’m not) and you are me, in which case there is no need to share, you can make your parkrun buddy carry the load for you. You’re welcome.

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There really is an embarrassment of delights to take in along the route. Equipment to play on, vistas to marvel at, fellow parkrunners to cheer on or greet as they lapped us. Towards the end of the second lap, we had a bit of a regroup moment with some of the walkers. Most wanted to continue for the final lap, and so after a bit of chat about who was doing what, we continued onwards.

For the final lap, we were joined by one of the core team to accompany us round. Some of the marshals had been stood down, so she opted in just to make sure there was someone with local knowledge on the route in case of any incident. That was the official line, obvs I think it was the giddy cocktail of mixing the fabulous views with the fabulous company of the party at the back, who wouldn’t want to be part of that!

As we walked and talked, we got a bit more of the history of the venue. We had already fathomed that Watermead Country Park is actually pretty fabulous as a venue. What I didn’t know was that it’s a series of artificial lakes on old gravel pits, and been wonderfully developed in a way that is sensitive to wildlife and creative in terms of interpreting both the industrial and geological history of the site. There is an actual mammoth; Shakespeare references (nope, not sure why either, but jolly fun statuing); dinosaur skeletons; play and climbing equipment and best of all of course, a parkrun! The parkrun gets a mention on the parks Wikipedia page which is always a cause for celebration. In fact, the county council is to be applauded for proactively hosting the parkrun. Seems that the North side of the park was less well used than the other side, which is presumably the South side. It was felt a parkrun would bring life and footfall to the area, and so it has. This is an example of an authority really courting parkrun and helping it come to be – this is also similar to the development of the junior parkrun at Sheffield Olympic Legacy Park, right at the design stage a 1km lap was incorporated so it would be perfect for the 2k junior event.

It was explained by our walking companion on the last lap that there was some initial apprehension by park rangers about whether it might cause damage to sensitive habitat areas, but everyone has worked together to make it a success and everyone’s a winner! Obvs. Decisions about the exact route take into account when other groups need access. So the reason the first loop is run first is because then the track is free for users who need to access the sailing area, or was it the fishing area, anyway, other people who need right of way. All good. Partnership working at its best. I guess that’s what brought along so many first timers walking and talking and enjoying the route too. The NHS celebration day having been promoted through the relevant NHS trust. Hurrah!

All this walking and talking made the second lap pass speedily, and in seemingly next to no time we were back at the finish, where a guard of honour in high vis flanked the funnel to welcome us in. Whilst most parkrunners had departed, a cheery few gave a rousing cheer to the returning walkers. It was lovely and made you feel all fuzzy and nice inside.

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We were duly timed across the finish. My EWFM taking the final finish token and her number and name and time all being carefully recorded to help with the results processing. A few metres away there was a huge banner, that would have doubled as a windbreak in inclement conditions, proclaiming SCANNING, which, coincidentally is exactly where the scanners were so you could go to be scanned. I know, what were the chances?

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The fun wasn’t over yet though, we had to do more photo taking. I tried to take some photos of the walking party, and did so quite brilliantly – though using their camera so you’ll have to take my word for it. However, it involved getting one person to hold the selfie frame in front of the group standing a bit further back so they were all within it and lots of jumping and waving. I’ve always been good at making my own entertainment.

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The team were busy packing away and sorting, but not too busy for one of their number to do a big reveal on how to take the perfectly flattering selfie. It’s genius. You basically have to lie on the ground and look up, slightly coquettishly, and voila, a flattering angle. It’s a bit of a scramble lying down and even more so getting up again, but fortunately my EWFM is very amendable to direction so we managed to get us both in shot, then decided we needed the RD too, and then a bystander pointed out – quite corrrectly – that really the photographer also needed to be on ground level to get the angle right. I did wonder at this point whether by that logic we might as well all have been standing up, but where would the fun be in that. After much rolling about in the grass to get the angles just so, the perfect picture was nailed. I know, we look glorious.

I don’t know if the selfie service on the grasses of the meadow is a service offered to all visiting parkrunners, but you could ask politely, you might get lucky, and if not, you can always have a go yourself. It’s intrinsically hilarious, getting a photo at the end is just a bonus.

Did take a while to get up again though, allow extra time for such shenanigans in our post parkrun parkfaffing timeline calculations.

Next step, the coffee van, in situ near the car park, serving pricey, but excellent coffee. I was glad of a flat white to fuel me as we strolled back through the park to the Hope and Anchor pub. It was very sticky, I didn’t mention that before did I? It was a very humid day, and we even had some rolls of thunder as we went round our final lap, though the heavens held off from opening until later on.

Back at the Hope and Anchor pub, we had a bit of inside outside dilemma. We opted for outside, sat down, and it immediately started raining big fat sploshing drops of rain, so we headed inside again. Breakfast was plentiful and cheap. We went for vegan and vegetarian options which included sausages, beans, mushrooms, all the usual suspects in plentiful quantities and was an absolute bargain. There was also an option for a breakfast of frozen yoghurt and chopped fruit so basically a rebranded ice cream sundae, what’s not to like? Cooked breakfast for less than a fiver though. Great option. I’m glad I’d got the proper coffee first, but the put was great for chatting and food and leisurely debrief of the morning. It was also where the core team go for results processing. There is also a very good VR postbox, if you are into appreciating such historic offerings. I am. Show me a good stink pipe in its original location and I’m happy all day.

And so, eventually, that was that.

Another parkrun done and dusted. A particularly fine one. Of course all parkruns are magnificent, but this one was especially so. The setting is gorgeous, the atmosphere chilled and inclusive of walkers and the natives friendly and welcoming.

Thank you lovely Watermead Country Park parkrun team for the great welcome to your splendid event. You are all stars and your hard work has created something really special in the parkrun universe. You can tell its creation was a genuine labour of love. Hurrah.

I’d toadally come back again.

Fantastic venue, fantastic team, you really should come and experience it for yourself, or if you already have experienced it, keep on going back for more! Not only are the surrounding lush and gorgeous, the high vis heroes are just as stunning, the coffee classy and the pub welcoming. This is truly a parkrun with all the things.

That’s all for now, I hope our parkrun paths cross again soon. In the meantime, if you want to prolong your parkrun fix, and apropos of nothing, have you seen this? No? Have a gander. It’s a little ‘cheeky’ but made me smile. I am shallow though, if you are too, it might yet have you singing along.

Oh, and for triangulation purposes, this was a particularly well documented parkrun. Check out this video account too from Andrew Pick. Very comprehensive too.

and wait there’s more, because Isabella Sparkle was also filming away. juniors who have met each other through the wonders of parkrun. I know!

AND we have an event report for week 88 too, all the things courtesy of Iain and James Hickman

Seems word gets round when you have a particularly fine parkrun destination in traveling distance. Hurrah!

And if you want even more, you could always browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.

Thanks for stopping by dear reader, it’s been grand. Good luck with your selfie and parkrun adventures still to come.

🙂

Shady goings on at Middleton Woods parkrun

An absolute gem!

I properly loved this parkrun. Of course in theory all parkruns are equal in their loveliness, but I think we all recognise some are more equal than others. Middleton Woods parkrun is a first among equals, a true hidden gem. Once again, the parkrun fairies spun their fairy magic, as this isn’t a place I’d ever have thought to visit were it not for parkrun, and I would have so missed a trick.

As is often the best way to discover lovely things, I made it to Middleton Woods pretty much on a whim. I wanted a parkrun not too far away as I needed to be back to Sheffield in time to show a potential lodger round, this one says he likes frogs too, so wouldn’t want to blow it by being late for the viewing. I wanted a new to me parkrun, with a traily feel, and to just have a nice chilled event, testing my legs a bit. I’ve been volunteering a fair bit recently, which I enjoy hugely, but even so, I just wanted a week where I could do entirely my own thing and see how my limbs held out. Oh, on that note, last week I was volunteering because we had a parkwalk special event at Millhouses parkrun last week, which went pretty well on the whole. Lots of tweaking to encourage new parkwalkers to attend. However, this week, I just fancied a change from volunteering and going to an event where I could just be invisible, as far as is possible given my height, width ratio. Middleton Woods was in the list of Nendy (nearest event(s) not done yet) and just appealed. I had a look at their Facebook page, and ta da …

they promised shade!

I am not good in the heat. Shade would be excellent. Mind you, fyi, they didn’t mention the bitey critters also feasting on the lovely bounty of the forest, i.e. any exposed flesh from a passing parkrunner. I have many insect bites post parkrun, but it is a small price to pay for a lovely event, and a memento to remind me of the event for the week(s) ahead. Super.

I didn’t pay too much more attention to the website info pre event, that was good enough. There was a satnav code to head too, and country parks are always easy to find, there’ll be a visitor centre and isn’t there a mention of a golf club or something near the start? Yep, easy.

I headed off confidently. I was quite smug about leaving crazily early, as I almost immediately got held up in traffic on the motorway for a good 20 mins for unclear reasons. Thank goodness I’d allowed plenty of extra time. There was one of those signs saying ‘traffic held due to incident’ but I couldn’t be sure if the incident was alien landing/ abduction, tornado, swan on the motorway or accident. I felt it wasn’t an accident because I think they’d have said. Unless it was a typo? I don’t think it was a typo. I reckon it was an alien abduction, because when we got moving again there was absolutely nothing to see by queuing police cars. No evidence at all. Exactly, my point! What could be more suggestive of paranormal/ extra-terrestrial activity.

My smugness slightly wavered as it dawned on me another option would have been to leave half an hour later and miss the delay altogether, but that’s ok, because nobody will ever know. Once we got moving again, the journey was uneventful. Soon there was the little arrival flag showing on the sat nav. It’s quite sweet isn’t it, the bannercheck flag at the end of your journeys. Almost as much fun as those toll roads with multiple pay booths that makes you feel like you are at the start of Whacky Races when you go through? Oh, just me then. Anyways, I sailed past the point on the map as very obviously it was directing me to go onto the premises of some bike shop, and not the entry to the country park at all. I headed onwards, getting increasingly confused, before using my skill and judgement to pull over and check the instructions on the official Middleton parkrun website blah de blah.

Location of start
The event starts close the main car park at Middleton Park Bike Hub

Facilities
Located at the start and finish of the course is the Bike Hub, complete with toilets and a café. There is also a children’s play area and a visitor centre located at the bottom of the course. The Bike Hub will also have bikes available to use after the event as well as various trails able to be explored in the park.

Not a golf course and a country park then. My bad. Oh well, I’d allowed plenty of time and no-one would ever know. Anyway, if you check out the loos for at the venue they have golfers on them for some weird reason. Not literal golfers nailed to them, that would be stupid, just pictures of them, swinging their clubs (not a euphemism) which isn’t stupid, weird or unexpected at all. Maybe my confusion was a result of repressed prophetic impulses. Yes, that must be it!

Oh and another thing about the loos, seeing as we are talking about the facilities. I had a little wave of schadenfreude (yes I’m shallow) that the gents was out of order so all the men would get to experience the endurance test of queuing for the loo that is the curse of women in search of a pee. You can’t see the sign very clearly as I bottled retaking it as I have sufficient self awareness (just) to get that taking photos of the exterior of public toilets might be perceived as unnecessarily odd. Then again, aren’t you pleased to have that venue intel? I navigate these risks so you don’t have to. #livinglifeontheedge Don’t judge me too harshly though, as the consequential karma was immediate. Availing myself of the facilities incurred a real sense of jeopardy as the loo door lock doesn’t quite secure, and my arms weren’t long enough to hold the door closed whilst powdering my nose. I survived the ordeal, but you have been warned.

Anyway, you are distracting me by asking about the loos, I’m getting out of sequence. Where was I? Oh yes, back to the bike place. It is genuinely a slightly weird arrival point as it does feel like you are pulling in to the front yard of a bike shop initially, but as you curve in it becomes apparent there is indeed a mahoosive park behind and also ample free parking.

It is a venue that straight away peaks your curiosity. For non trail bikers, the landscape has a slightly surreal aspect. It has been contoured to created interesting and exciting bike trails. These are dusty mounds with clumps of wild flowers bursting out between the curves of the tracks. It felt a bit like I imagine Spain to be, or some other foreign climate. It was pretty cool. Though ironically, cool, because of looking hot. An arid landscape of boulders and wild flowers, dust and blue skies. I was early, despite having narrowly avoided both alien abduction AND accidentally driving on to Scotland because of ignoring my satnav. #winning

I parked up, and excitedly espied the first of the ‘caution runners’ signs, which is always a boon when touristing.

It means you are in the right place AND there is a high probability the parkrun will happen as the team are busy setting the course out too. Of course, nothing is a given. I heard later some friends of mine attending this parkrun some time ago had a nervous wait at the start line as the key for the defibrillator had gone walkabouts and the event couldn’t start without it. It was found, don’t worry. All’s well that ends well as the saying goes. It just made the event more memorable. Except, having checked the Facebook page and run report for that event, there is no mention of it, so maybe they were confusing the event with another parkrun. We may never know…

Unsurprisingly, once you are in the know, there were many people with bikes around, or ‘cyclists’ as I understand is the correct technical term for them. Also, some parkrunners with tourist kit. I was sure I recognised them, but this can happen at parkruns because the same types pop up at every parkrun event. There is usually someone dressed as a dinosaur, a scattering of milestone tees, a pre-wedding parkrun party, cow buff wearers that kind of thing. We sort of circled one another for a while, before I plucked up courage to go and talk to them. Phew, we thought it highly likely we had been at the same parkruns in recent history, but hadn’t previously spoken. This meant I didn’t have to do that really awkward wracking my brains trying to remember what their names were, though obviously will do next time.

After I’d had my precarious precautionary pee, without being busted in situ, I had a little pootle about to take in the scenery. There was a finish/start pop up sign, but further inquiry revealed that this is in fact an old one, used to mark the finish, the newer pop up sign with the event name on it is at the start which is a little walk from the car park adjacent gathering area. That’s where we made our way to next. I think maybe if you are newbie, if you hang around the car park area that’s possibly where any first timers’ welcome takes place, because I missed that by heading to the start. However, I can report there was a loveliness of friendly marshals around to point you the right direction and answer any questions, so maybe it’s done in a more informal and personal way. Castle parkrun in Sheffield is like that, relatively small with a high proportion of regulars, so if you rock up for the first time you are pretty much guaranteed a bespoke meet and greet service. Not actually park and ride, but pretty close. Oh, and when I asked about leaving my keys, they very helpfully suggested the RD took possession of them. I don’t know if I got special treatment because they had their eye on my 2007 toyota yaris, but I think not. Though if I was foolish enough to leave it behind at the end of the event, then I think it would have been fair enough to treat it the same as all lost property, and after a reasonable pause claim absolute possession. You’d need to check if availing yourself of such services.

There follows an immersive slideshow experience of the walk down to the start. It is a literal walk down, as well as a figurative one, nice gentle slope down into the shade of the trees.

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As we were walking we saw a fine ‘to the start’ sign, which we both paused to photograph. Turns out, we both have a friend who collects photos of parkrun signs, and – you won’t believe this – it’s the same person! What are the chances? There must be a gazillion such people in Huddersfield alone! Anyway, the sign was duly captured, and next stop, the pop up name sign, and mandatory photographs behind and in front of, and alongside this.

There was real comedic value in this activity, as the event team cunningly position the sign atop a particularly slippery and steep incline. As you try to position yourself to take the best shot your feet slide away beneath you. Only the most dedicated and tenacious of parkrunners can capture the perfect shot. Oh, and mountain goats in theory too I imagine, but what they offer in agility they lose in relation to their willingness and ability to operate a camera. Shame, not dissing them, just saying it how it is. Not to worry though, we parkrun visitors assisted one another, and all was well. Milling and chilling and avoiding tumbling down the bank in the starting area.

Regular Middletonians pitched up, and other park users came on by. Including this rather fine Sharpie. Not the pen. But the Shar Pei dogs. You know, the ones with a reputation for loyalty aren’t they a Chinese breed? I’ve never met one before, but I’m sure I’ve seen some in various animated films. And wasn’t there one that lived at a railway station waiting for its master who never came home? Nope, just checked that was a Japanese Akitok dog Hachika I’ve not thought about them all that much beyond wrinkled skin and problems breathing, but the accompanying human was happy to let me say hello. Oh my, I have never felt a coat so soft. It was extraordinary. What a sweet hound. I had no idea. It has a diet of raw fish, that it seems is the secret of perfect skin and hair. Wouldn’t work for me on account of me being allergic to fish, and also a vegan-curious vegetarian anyway. This may be why I have nailed a should-be iconic hair style all of my own, that of ‘being dragged through a hedge backwards’ and indeed, goddess of the same, I rock the whole look. Someone has to, and to be fair, there are other followers to be find, most especially post parkruns. Heard of the descriptor ‘parkrun fresh?’ well then, rest my case. Definitely a thing

Ooh, well this is nice! We went from the arid plains down into a lovely shaded wooded area. Tall trees towered over us and it was properly cool and lovely. It was sooooooooooooo nice to be in the cool shade of the trees after being uncomfortably hot for as long as I can remember, definitely most of last week just for starters.

There was meeting and greeting going on, and gentle chit chat, and a bit of speculation about which direction we’d be running in. Well I’d be walking but others might run. After a bit, regulars started to gather at what was clearly the start line.

Approaching us from afar, marching abreast down the hill like the men in black were the start team. I mean look at them, they even had an outrider on a bike. Only really important people have hi-vis escorts.

Turns out I was wrong though. A local quipped back ‘more like clowns to the left, jokers to the right …’ I’m sure the locals know best, better go with that analysis. You really can’t put a price on insider knowledge. As for that outrider? Probably some sort of community supervision official. That must be it.

It was a really jolly start though. Some late arrivals were cheered in with good humour and enthusiasm. There was a rousing RD welcome calling out milestones, birthdays, tourists. Oh yes, one claiming to be from South Africa (a bit of niche J Burg reference I think. A joke is going round in some circles to shout Johannesburg in response to any tourist shout outs to ensure gaining the furthest travelled kudos. I’m not sure about this, as it would be rough if you really had travelled from miles away and were thwarted by a fib. It would be even more annoying if you were actually from Johannesburg but hadn’t called out due to coyness and a tendency to let opportunities pass you by. Then again, I’m obviously shallow and contrary as well as being the goddess of people who have been dragged through a hedge backwards, as I actually thought that this shout out was quite funny. Even more hilariously, they really were from South Africa according to the subsequent write up from the event. I’m even more confused now.

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Local warnings were mainly about bikes, because there are many, and occasionally horses. Both the horses and bikes have accompanying humans. Huge thanks for volunteers, it’s a relatively small event, and I think they struggle, though this week there was a good turnout of marshals, partly because there is race taking place one evening this week I think, or maybe just because it’s been sooooooooooooooooooo hot, running around loses its appeal in these circumstances.

There was a good description of the course. I didn’t take too much note of it as I’d be at the back anyway. Definitely downhill bits, and then some killer uphill bits, and you get to do it all again which is good, because you’ll appreciate the sights more second time around. Oh, and there was a photographer, not me, a proper one, so that’s a boon too. I’m not sure if we were just lucky, or if that is quite a regular thing.

They could have just said the course is basically the shape of an upside-down snail that has lost its shell. I don’t know why they don’t just say that on the course description on the website. Instead they say:

Course Description
Two laps on a mixture of path and trail. The start and finish is close the main car park at Middleton Park Bike Hub. The course starts down the road from the rose garden. Head down the hill, and turn right to enter the woods. Following the trail through the woods on the path, continue and take a left to come up behind the bandstand. Turn right on to the path next to the band stand, then turn right again to pass between the band stand and visitors centre. Carry on alongside the boating lake, turn right & then bear left to enter the woods, follow this trail up to Nick’s View, circle around the back of the rose garden and back to the downhill section. Complete the second lap & this time after the rose garden for the turn left towards the bike hub to arrive at the finish.

and it looks like this – I’ve improved the image I think.

You’re welcome.

I’m not sure whether or not to give this feedback to the team. I don’t want to undermine them when they are clearly doing their best, but really, it’s quite an oversight. And it is quite a lovely snail to boot… Maybe their ED has molluscophobia? I can think of no other plausible explanation.

In due course, it was time for awf:

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I slotted in towards the back. Watching runners streaming ahead. Quite soon, I found myself pretty much on my own, and able to enjoy the tree cover all to myself.

This was interspersed with a cheery interaction with the odd marshals with the odd interaction with one of the cheery marshals that were to be found decorating the route. They were all excellent at cheering, clapping and directional pointing. One was also expert in camera pointing too. A winning team.

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Whilst it’s true there was a lot of uphill, this meant there is also significant down hilliness which was just joyful. So joyful, I even had a little experimental joggle. It is a pretty good surface, maybe the odd loose grit making some areas slightly slippy, but nothing scary at all. Almost immediately it triggered some of my leg and foot issues, but to be honest, the real obstacle to movement was that I hadn’t put on a sports bra. There is little point these days at parkruns, given I can only walk. But I can report that having a joggle created way too much jiggle and short of running the whole route with one boob cupped in each hand which is a) a terrible look and b) terribly uncomfortable and c) not altogether practical I gave up pretty quickly. It was a nice feeling whilst it lasted though. I really miss running. It wasn’t as if I was ever even remotely good at it, but it is the sense of freedom it can bring. Oh well. Got a photo though, hurrah! Thank you proper photographer. His photographs are here on the Middleton Woods parkrun Facebook page.

I took photos too, runners who were lapping me, or who I espied amongst the trees, running along parallel paths.

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Not gonna lie, pretty chuffed about the flying feet pics, even if they were by accident. All down to my smartphone – did I mention I’ve just got one? Game changer.

As prophesied by those in the know, you do get to take it all in a bit more second time around. It’s such an amazing space. Not just extraordinary trees and an aura of green tranquility, but a pond, and stairways to hidden rose gardens, and swans – or a swan certainly. Seen portrayed in 2d, then 3d and then in glorious reality. Lovely. Oh and the noise of gibbons, swinging through the trees overhead, only that turned out to be a squirrel, but honestly, an easy mistake to make

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Lovely, isn’t it?

I slowed down to the point of reverse, and was overtaken by the parkwalker with the tail still a little way behind. Marshals waited patiently for those of us at the back to pass on by. The encouragement was consistent from start to finish which is always a boon, and never a given.

So I jiggle joggled down the hills and heaved my weary carcass up them. Eventually you exit the forest back towards the gathering point which is where the finish is – and one of the snail antennae if you’ve been concentrating. There is a slight challenge in the final few hundred yards as you have to decide whether to slalom through the gap in the low barriers on the path, or to hurdle over them. Both are legitimate approaches.

and then you get to see the smiling, bright eyed faces of the finish funnel crew, cheering you over the line.

Oh hang on, looks like the RD did a strategic photo bomb of the scanner, let me try again

I daresay they are friends really. Scanner isn’t hopping mad at all, just having a bit of a riverdance moment I imagine.

I wasn’t the final finisher for a change, so waited for the tail to come on through.

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Then I remembered about my keys and retrieved them, before heading to the cafe.

The bike cafe is excellent. A big inside area, an assortment of cakes and hot drinks and a limited breakfast menu. I just had a flat white and then sat outside with my new besties, for a mini parkfaff session. It was great actually. We had lots of parkrunner friends in common it turns out, and worked out from the ‘compare’ function on the 5k app that we’ve actually been at the same event on three other occasions. Pavilion Gardens, Castle and Concord. Isn’t that amazing, I love the parkrun world and how it connects people, and I’m grateful to the volunteers who develop the fun apps to make such discoveries possible.

Oh, and the advice is to wear a helmet at the cafe, though it wasn’t being enforced and we got away with just wearing sunshades.

Oh, and by the way, the first finisher was a forest. This just feels apt. Not just Birnam wood that can upsticks it seems. Trees are awesome. They can truly do amazing things. No wonder forest bathing is a thing. I mean not jumping in the tub with the parkrunner forest, that would be inappropriate unless specifically invited, but just soaking in the ambience and loveliness of trees to restore your inner equilibrium and be done, for now, with existential angst.

Try it.

You’ll like it.

I promise.

You’re welcome.

So thank you lovely Middleton Wood parkrun team for a most gorgeous event what stars you all are. Shining brightly in the forest. Genuinely a hidden gem. Happy memories of a happy day 🙂

Same again next week somewhere?

In the meantime, if you want to prolong your parkrun fix, you could always browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.

Salcey Forest parkrun where unicorns prance and the sun always shines.

Up until today I thought the only parkrun with a naturalised endemic unicorn population was Bushy parkrun. The latter parkrun also having deer – including spectacular stags, parakeets and skylarks in season. And also potential celebrity sightings of PSH amongst others. However, every parkrun day provides edutainment, as well as community coffee opportunities, and now I know better. Salcey Forest parkrun has to have them. FACT! As you pass through the forest on the parkrun route, the cathedral like trees tower overhead and with brilliant sunshine above (sunshine guaranteed at this parkrun I feel sure), shafts of light penetrate the canopy to illuminate gorgeous glades and dancing wildflower heads at the sides of the trails. Everywhere you look there are inviting paths, massive fallen trunks and intriguing constructions and signs to lure you off the beaten track and further and further into the woods.

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Honestly, you can quite see how it children in fairy tales are want to wander ever deeper into such environments. In fairy tales, granted, it doesn’t always end well, but here, the forest surrounds are properly gorgeous. Ferns and mosses and wildflower borders abound, this has to be optimum unicorn habitat. Also, the forest feels vast, unicorns need quite a bit of space, and seem able to share it with Zog, ancient ‘druid oaks’ and an abundance of wildlife too. They are shy though, and whilst I’d properly swear I got a glimpse of a flying mane or flicking tail out of the very corner of my eye, catching just the briefest of glimpses as the impressive creatures galloped light-footed through some distant glade, There is one in this picture for sure, can you see it?

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Wait, you aren’t quite convinced. Sigh. Well, I’m ahead of you. I accept you may demand more physical proof. Well, dear reader, I have it!Not me to be fair, but the high vis hero who was on finish tokens duty at the parkrun today. It seems one of her duties as a volunteer is to clear the finish funnel of unicorn scat. It’s basic health and safety, as even if it lands ins attractively rainbow coloured droppings, it is still a potential slip hazard for sprinting parkrunners. If you don’t believe me, check out the volunteer grid. I think it’s recorded as ‘other’ on the roster and isn’t actually credited as ‘Unicorn Poop Scooper’ so an element of trust there I concede. Though it should be obvs, they have ‘Car Park Marshal’ after all, I guess it’s like the ‘Fluffy the Emu Wrangler’ role at Nambour parkrun Australia, a bit too niche to have as an option on the drop down menu for all events, but very real all the same.

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I think we can all agree that animal scat is a good indicator of animal populations in wildlife surveys, so why not believe the evidence of your eyes and check out the massive pile of unicorn poo that the volunteer collected. So much, that she was able to fashion it into an improvised stool (pun intended) so she could carry out her role seated and take home the bounty to put on her roses later. If you think ordinary horse manure is good for roses you should see the impact of unicorn droppings. It makes your roses rainbow coloured with glitter tipped petals, and they smell just divine. Take a bucket and some rubber gloves with you next time you are in the forest and you too might get lucky. Food for thought, I’m sure you’ll agree. Our finish token giver outer was a tad optimistic about the quantities unicorns produce though, she was never going to fill that whole bag for life to be fair, but fair play to her for her optimistic outlook, always a joy to behold. I wasn’t sure whether or not to tell her she’d smeared a bit of unicorn poo on her leggings though, I decided against, I mean she probably knew already, and if she didn’t well, why make her feel all self conscious about something she could do nothing about? Precisely.

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Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. It’s just that I was very excited about the unicorns, and if you take nothing else away from this account of Salcey Forest, remember that. Remember it, but also, don’t tell too many people, don’t want them getting spooked needlessly.

As my regular reader, you will know I always agonise over where to go for my parkrun fix. Needing places I can reach from Sheffield and that are parkwalker friendly, with nearby parking to limit how far I have to walk in addition to the completing the 5k. This week though, I was spared endless angst and indecision because the event choice was obvious. My EWFM and now parkrunner friend too had confirmed that she would confirmed by all to be an absolute cow by the end of her parkrun today and who would want to miss that? She’d chosen Salcey Forest parkrun as it is reachable for parkrunning friends coming down from oop norf or up from darn sarf. I would come from Sheffield, she would come from Londonshire, we could meet sort of in the middle. Fortunately, looking at the official Salcey Forest parkrun website blah de blah it did seem to also be a parkrun with all the things. Parking, cafe, forest etc.

The course is excitingly all one lap too:

Course Description – The course consists of one lap in a clockwise direction on a mixture of gravel and trail through the forest. The start and finish are close to the main car park, café and toilets. Trail shoes are advised during winter months or after periods of rain. Due to the terrain the course is only suitable for purpose built running buggies.

Facilities – Early bird parking (between 8am-11am) costs £3.

and it looks like this:

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So easy to remember as it looks a bit like, a bit like…. actually, I have no idea what it looks like. The wrong trousers half heartedly drawn as in Wallace and Gromit? Does that help at all? Or the tail end of a cut in half mermaid, washed up on a beach and partially decomposed? Possibly not, but the thing is there are lots of smiling marshals and where marshals fear to tread there are lots of cones so no worries.

Oh actually, I think it’s worth giving some blah de blah from the Salcey Forest official website too. There’s loads to do there, and this write up won’t do even the parkrun justice, let alone the whole Forest.

‘Located only 7 miles from the centre of Northampton, Salcey Forest is an oasis of nature and history, This magnificent woodland has many miles of ancient wood banks, building remains and ancient trees. The ‘druids’, or veteran oaks, are rare and amazing wildlife habitats, and some of the old oaks are over 600 years old. See what you can spot on your visit to the medieval royal hunting forest. We’ve got endless walking trails, a family cycling trail, adventure play area and even an onsite café selling tasty homemade meals and cakes in a warm, friendly environment.]

You need to go and explore for yourself really, look out for Zog trails too. Unicorns and speedy parkruns aren’t the only things flying around Salcey Forest of a Saturday morning you’ll find.

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What’s that. You are worried about me calling my friend a complete cow? But she was going to be, she now is! It’s true! She is definitively a complete cow now and she is owning it. The thing is, some parkrunners like to get out and about and visit different parkrun venues. It’s a great way to meet up with parkrunning buddies you’ve acquired on line over the years and also to see parts of the country you might never otherwise visit. Welcome to the parallel universe that is parkrun tourism. It was years before I twigged that this was a thing and fun too. My EWFM has been a faster learner than I, embracing parkrun tourism from the off. So it is today was the occasion of her fiftieth different parkrun venue. I know, exciting! The first parkrunner to complete 100 distinct parkrun venues was somebody by the name of Cowell, so to complete one hundred different parkruns is to complete your Cowell. To complete fifty, i.e. half of them – are you getting this now – is to complete the Cow. See what they’ve done there. I know, clever. So it was, should my parkrunning buddy moove round the course as plan she’d be a confirmed cow at the end of it. This, naturally enough, was a cause for celebration. Cup cakes would be lovingly baked and brought; companions would be in attendance, many would gather. Hurrah!

There was some pre event angst, as in the lead up to the event it was looking low on volunteers. Many parkruns have seemed to struggle to get enough high vis heroes for their events post pandemic. It’s hard not to find this dispiriting at times. A fair few have had to cancel, or gone ahead and faced grumbling from participants when things don’t go smoothly because they are too short of help to have everything run smoothly. Case in point Cardiff parkrun last week which someone attended and then complained because the finish funnel was disorganised, when the poor team at Cardiff had been begging for volunteers all week, considered cancelling, then gamely went ahead with very limited help only to get grief from a parktouristing visitor. Not a good look. It’s easy to see why the most dedicated of core team volunteers end up getting burnt out. Anyway, a gracious call for more help went out. Nice work on their social media channels I think we can all agree

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As a fair few of us wanted to make sure the bovine transfiguration came to pass satisfactorily, it meant a number of us would be gracing the forest. Word went round and hands went up, various people messaged in to offer their services. This included the parents of a parkrunning friend who resides in Germany. Producer of the legendary entertainment that is the Quarantine Quiz. A bilingual quiz for and by parkrunners, compered by fancy dress sporting and 3d printing genius it is worth a watch. Grew out of the pandemic and endures. The questions have nothing whatsoever to do with parkrun, but are posed by parkrunners, often from parkrun destinations, check it out. Like and subscribe etc. The producer’s mum and dad reside in Northampton, but a stone’s throw(ish) from this parkrun and they too would come along. One to complete the parkrun and one to volunteer, hurrah! The rota looked a lot healthier, it would be cow a go go. Which is good in this context. New experiences for some, possibly for us all, as I think the whole cow herd were newbies to the venue. How exciting!

I lay awake all night largely due to usual insomnia, but also pimped up by worrying about over sleeping and a dash of being excited about how the day would unfold. When the alarm went off at stupid o’clock I was already wide awake, and had been listening to an increasingly rowdy dawn chorus through my open bedroom window for some time. Up and out before I had a chance to overthink the small hours issue. It was promising to be a bright sunshiney day, but with some early morning fog on the way down, that soon burnt away. The drive from Sheffield was over long, but straightforward. One diversion and had to pass one horrific looking accident on the motorway going down to Northampton. The sort that makes you shudder to behold.

I arrived in good time, and the venue is easy to find being well sign posted. I parked up near the cafe and visitors’ centre area but in fact you can park a bit closer to the start if you arrive fractionally later and have the car park marshal in situ to wave you on. It makes little odds though, either way. I was confused by the parking metres. The first one I approached was coins only, then if you go round the block there was one that took cards. A further machine at the car park nearest the start required you to download a parking app WHICH IS REALLY ANNOYING, though you can also pay by phoning I think. It’s just three pounds for Saturday morning early bird, which is fair enough, and takes you to 11, which allows for a certain amount of post parkrun faffing but possibly not enough for all. The other big win, is lots of loos for the mandatory for me precautionary pee. I was especially grateful for this after the long drive. Apart from the fact that I wasn’t clever enough to operate the taps – but nor was the other woman availing herself of the facilities to be fair – it was in good order. Spoiler alert, we worked it out between us, but I still think the water pressure wasn’t reaching all the sinks. Leave enough time to fathom the plumbing before hand is my advice, otherwise you might be waving your hand in entirely the wrong dimension.

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Parked up, I asked the kindly marshal for directions to the start, which she patiently gave. As I glanced in the direction she was pointing in I could see a sea of parkrun pink, and all was well with the world. I ambled towards the parkrun posse, passed the ‘caution runners’ signs and through the metaphorical looking glass into the parallel parkrun universe for a morning of forest bathing, cakery and chootling (chatting and pootling) what’s not to like?

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One of our number was to be parkwalking, but alas, had woken practically blinded by an insect bite overnight. Disaster! I had brought jam jars all the way from Sheffield to pass on to her! Oh, and it looked both spectacular and agonising. Have you ever seen any of those reality TV shows about botched cosmetic surgery? It was the before correction picture, not gonna lie. Anyway, I went to ask the RD if anyone was needed given she couldn’t come and I’d be walking anyway. Actually, someone else had already volunteered to fill the breach, but I could too, albeit the blue high vis – which everyone knows is the most flattering of the options available – had already been bagsied, so I’d have to improvise with the pink. No great hardship there, in fact a win, as in honesty I am the slowest participant anyway, so ended up flying the walking flag by valiantly walking and talking – twalking – round with my EWFM cow bestie, but hey, making walking visible at parkrun is still a desirable outcome isn’t it, so all the yays,.

High vis donned, there was the important work of pre parkrun photo taking. It has to be done. Here are some (of many) offerings, have you spotted the nearly a complete cow participant yet. It’s like looking for unicorns in the ancient forests, you think it will be impossible, but once you get your eye in, there’s no mistaking it. We were in for a devil of a time!

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Once we’d done all our meeting and greeting, and round one of our photo taking, a call went up for the first timers’ welcome. A tourist was undertaking this role too. I was a bit dubious about how easy this would be for a tourist, but turns out, she has completed the course previously, and is also a hugely experienced volunteer so of course it was a splendid welcome and intro. The route is apparently basically left, right, right, left, right again, left right etc. …. or, just keep faith in the marshals! They are at every single turn point bar one, where there is an embarrassment of riches cones wise so really no getting lost unless you charge ever onward pushing marshals aside in your hurry to pb. It was a jolly mood. There were milestones and tourists – including from Cardiff actually, now I come to think of it, and a pleasing scattering of first time everers. An attentive semi circle of new to Salcey Forest tourists listened and then moved aside so the first time everers, of whom I think there were 8, could have a separate intro to how it all worked.

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It was a tight ship, and as soon as the first timers’ had been satisfactorily briefed and welcomed, it was time for the Run Director’s briefing. Again, this was very positive, and very thorough. Tourists were welcomed. The wannabee cow was identified for their very own round of applause, milestone runners and volunteers were acknowledged and applauded. The RDs canine companion was an enthusiastic participant and so was led away to be less distracting, were they made their disappointment evident. Being separated from your companion human is a tough call it seems.

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As the path can be a bit narrow (actually it’s a great width) the RD called people forward to make their way down to the start in order of expected times. Pleasingly, those of us expected to complete in over 35 minutes were referred to as ‘the elite runners’. We elites liked this a lot.

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So parkrunners ready, timers ready, and then awf we went, the finish team watching us disappear down the arch of trees into the land of moss and stone and unicorn and ancient oaks. The timers moving back to the finish funnel area as we departed on our 5k romp round the trails.

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Actually, that photo might have been towards the end of the parkrun with parkrunners returning triumphant, but a bit of artistic licence between parkrunning friends is allowable I’m sure. Awf we went. I slotted in at the back with my nearly a cow companion. It’s nice having a cow to walk alongside, they are soothing to be around. No wonder Jack had such a hard time parting with his cow. Personally, I wouldn’t have sold my cow for any number of beans, not even magic ones. A cow is for life not just for Christmas.

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As it is a one lap course, and me and the nearly cow were mooving slowly at a walk, very quickly the other parkrunners streamed ahead out of sight. You literally don’t see them again, well not until after you’ve finished, I don’t mean they were abducted by aliens and transported to a parallel universe as soon as they got round the first corner, that would be silly. Rather, they did their thing and we did ours. Some even managed en route selfies, hurrah!

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It was an astonishing walk. The forest is truly breathtaking, and although at intervals there were cheery marshals to point us on our way, there seemed to be no-one else about at all. A distant dog walker maybe – the aforementioned unicorns, obvs, but basically we had this wonderland all to ourselves. We were pretty much right at the back, with just the tailwalker behind sweeping the course. He was collecting cones and things as other marshals stood down, including I imagine, winding up bunting, and was a little distance behind. This meant we walked and talked at our own pace, and got to really appreciate our surroundings. Never having been before, I can only assume the forest is always this lovely, with sunshine and every variation on green in the colour spectrum you can possibly imagine and then some more. It smelt nice too. So did my cowmpanion, only she said it can’t have been her smelling all that fragrant in truth, so it must have been her laundry detergent. I do really, really like the smell of freshly washed, air dried laundry. Right up there with coffee and toast in the morning.

Here are some of the friendly marshals who nailed the directional pointing, photogenic posing and generic cheeriness on the way round. It was a good day for standing in a pool of forest sunshine. There would have been quite a gap between us and the last of the parkrunners, but I choose to think waiting for us would have been an opportunity for quiet meditation and listening out for all the sounds of the forest. An exercise in mindfulness.

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And here are some of the many sights we saw or passed en route.

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It was very, very hard to exercise the necessary self discipline to stay on track, with so many intriguing possibilities luring us away. We may have experimented with the see saw to see if it would see saw. It did! Quite spectacularly. I was quite relieved I’d delegated the testing responsibilities to my more able bodied cowmpanion. She aced it. Could maybe have done a bit more of triumphant arms flung outwards on the dismount, but no face planting or obvious injury, so definitely an 8 at least. Well done.

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Twalking is most therapeutic, meditative even. Consequently we were caught unawares when the finish funnel ‘suddenly’ appeared. Fortunately, the team were on high alert in cheery readiness for us. Triumphant we entered the funnel, clicked in, hurrah!

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Shot out of the funnel, we were scanned, and then there was the important business of the cake. I did tell you, cakes had been baked and bought, and the master baker had kept them all safely til the cow came home, so she could break open the Tupperware and dispense her offerings with smiles. They were vegan cakes, cow coloured (well sort of, cows come in many colours after all) and some were gluten free and others presumably had extra gluten. All dietary needs catered for. Happy smiles in abundance as the offerings were passed around. Hurrah!

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Assisted by the sugar high, the business of uploading scan files, gathering up tokens to be sorted and taking down of the funnel was soon underway.

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Crucially though, we managed to pose for the mandatory group shot with the selfie frame before it was also packed away.

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Next stop was the cafe, but en route we passed the most brilliant sign of a load of children sitting on a log, eating cake. I was keen to do a group reconstruction, as we had some parkrunners who would have been an absolute shoo in for some of those casting opportunities. Next time maybe, today, the pull of the prospect of coffee was too strong.

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We left the regulars doing their final tidying up – we did offer to help, but they had it nailed without us, and you know what, it’s not really helping unless you are actually being helpful, too many cooks and all that. We called our thanks though, and they looked happy in their labours. Not just happy to wave us off I think. There had been cake after all. parkrun was always about the cake wasn’t it. Oh no, wait, coffee, always about the coffee. Same thing though really.

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We arrived at the coffee, via a little celebratory outdoor cake moment. The cafe very kindly allowed us to take our cakes inside – we did buy toasties various and drinks and things. Point of information, the only downside of this whole morning, but has to be declared because of the mismatch between expectations generated by the general ambience of the place, presentation of hot beverages and the crushing reality of what was served up, this parkrun venue had quite possibly the worst coffee I’ve ever had at a parkrun apart from at Doncaster parkrun At Doncaster I actually left the coffee undrunk, the coffee here I did consume, but it got nastier with every mouthful. Shame, as the cafe was ace for customer service, cleanliness etc, and vegan options. Bit limited for breakfast choices but fundamentally fine. I digress, we need more pictures, here is the outsidey part:

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Do you like the card with the cow on it? I bought it specially moo-ns ago (see what I did there? Quite proud of that one), in anticipation of just this occasion, very proud of it. Also, quite relieved, as when the time finally came to use it, I thought I’d lost it, there was much late night rummaging I don’t mind admitting!

Then into the cafe, where two of our number had volunteered for token sorting. One token at least had gone awol 86 from memory, but what was really odd, was that the spare number 86 was also missing, and the spare for the spare, and the spare for that one too. How bizarre. A repeat offender? Some secret society’s initiation ceremony, sacred to unicorns or Zog? We may never know. I must google ‘what is so great about the number 86’ to see if I can find out why… ok, I have, it’s associated with all your problems vanishing, which is clearly nonsense, as it’s a big problem for event teams if token magpies are present at an event. Also, weirdly, I’ve not come across this phenomenon before anywhere else. Strange, but true!

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The Freyne Club? That’s for 250 different venues. I know, very impressive. I got to join in on venue number 249 at Millhouses parkrun. There’s a story about that – another time maybe…

And then that was that. I would have stayed a bit longer, but suddenly discovered it isn’t three hours parking on a Saturday morning it’s until 11 a.m. and at 10.59 a.m. I realised if I lingered I’d turn into a pumpkin or something, also needed to get back really, guests checking out and always wise to be home to safety before my leg starts operating either independently or not at all. It has a (deranged) mind of its own at times. Still, one should always leave one’s audience wanting more, isn’t that the saying? Salcey Forest has certainly achieved that, definitely one of my favourites. I’ve loved all the forest parkruns I’ve done, there is something calming about them, particularly the more established ones, you get some sense of perspective perhaps, trees can live for centuries, things that seem to matter right now maybe really don’t in the grand scheme of things.

And so I waved goodbye and wended my way home.

Thanks Salcey Forest parkrun, you were fab. Oh, and if you dear reader want their official event report for triangulation purposes, you will find it on their Facebook page here:

And parkrunner twalking buddy, well done for being such a cow. You did yourself proud!

Same again next week somewhere?

In the meantime, if you want to prolong your parkrun fix, you could always browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.

Hope you find a forest of your own to bathe in sometime soon. Catch them while you can. Not sure they have as many years left in the future as they have stood for in the past. Maybe if you find a particularly nice tree, take the time to give it an appreciative hug. It will make you feel all nice and warm and squidgy inside. Bits of bark might get down your top and be a bit itchy, and you could end up with some leaf litter in your shoes, but it’s fundamentally grounding, give it a try. Thank me later. You’re welcome.

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PS did I mention the extra fluffy dog? Amazing! A quarter spaniel, three quarters yeti. Nice.

Jolly Jovial Jocular Jubilee parkrun #100

Well, that was most satisfactory.

Jubilee parkrun has been on my vague ‘to do’ list for ages, in honesty, largely because of the alphabet challenge, but also new place to visit, good vibes, in reach of Sheffield, the usual tick list of gloriousness. I picked this week because who wants to go to Norway for their extra parkrun day anyway, bet they don’t get complementary rhubarb at the end, or even rude vegetables I would imagine. Did you know that ‘Rhubarb is technically a vegetable, but is legally considered a fruit. In 1947 a New York court declared rhubarb a fruit because it’s most often cooked as one in the United States’, well it is according to Huffpost, which is good enough for me. Also, today was the occasion of their 100th event, and therefore officially party time. Or would be according to their most recent Facebook post.

Balloons a boon for sure. I do like a pop up parkrun party. I’d get to complete my alphabet, which is officially a thing what’s not to like.

Apart from the stupid o’clock start that is. Having said that, as a chronic insomniac, I’m usually just lying awake wishing I wasn’t, awake that is, so having a purpose to get up for in the small hours is also a boon. I was awake from about 4.00 and there were the most amazingly noisy birds at that time. A couple of owls, though some calls I couldn’t recognise at all, giving way to a rousing dawn chorus. It looked like it was going to be a bright sunshiny day too, hurrah. I headed off up the M1 feeling uncharacteristically cheery. The sun was burning off a deep mist, and it was gorgeous out. Or it was for the first bit, as we got further north it gave way to a less than cheery mizzle and fog, but that’s ok too, because rain is good. I hadn’t checked much in advance beyond a postcode to head to. I read that there was free parking in the town centre too, walking distance from the park, but was hoping I’d get near to the park as I worry about adding on extra walking to a parkrun distance. In fact, as I approached the postcode, I saw signs for free parking in one direction and to the Jubilee Park in the other, so figured it really wasn’t far at all, so parked up. There seemed to be ample parking, though I was a bit confused by the prevalence of royal mail red postal vans, which made me wonder if I’d encroached on their parking. But fear not dear reader, I hadn’t it was fine, it was free, and it was but a very short walk to the park gates, even by my somewhat feeble walking endurance standards.

Here it is, the entrance to the park, oooh, exciting!

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See that sign? More of that later.

But I’m ahead of myself. I’ve been now, but you might not have been, so let’s check out the course blah de blah on the official Jubilee parkrun website, and the map too, which is pretty hilarious.

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The course is at Jubilee Park, Spennymoor. The course is run on a mixture of tarmac paths and grass.

Start at the bottom of the park next to the Villiers Street entrance. Travelling in a clockwise direction, complete 3 full laps plus 1 part lap to finish at the top of the park next to the bowls green. The course is an undulating mixture of grass and paths. Trail shoes may be advisable in the winter. Unfortunately dogs are not allowed at this event.

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OK, that sounds straightforward…. however, it looks like this:-

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which is basically headache inducing. Not even sure if they’ve printed the map the right way up to be fair. Hurrah for marshals, they will be much needed here. A rare benefit of being a walker at parkrun is I don’t have to worry about being a pathfinder on an unfamiliar course, this looks complicated.

In I went, and it was a revelation. This is a pretty bijou park it’s fair to say, a true pocket park, but it was beautifully landscaped. Colourful packed displays of planting in formal beds set off traditional features like a rather fine bandstand. Then there were contemporary additions like a play area, a formal arch for the Jubilee of 2000, though in fact this is Victoria Park not one for Elizabeth II as I’d assumed. There is a skate boarding area, a Victoria train station, all the things! Also, this sign, which amused me…

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It was the reference to no person whilst in the park shall – ‘play unauthorised golf’. Is this a known public disorder offence in these parts. I was very confused. Confused that is, until I stumbled on the in situ crazy golf course. This is genius, and probably merits a trip all on its own. It’s a carefully landscaped area, designed around the ‘accomplishments’ of the Victorian age. I say ‘accomplishments’ but presented as it was, a moment in history for every hole, was genuinely educational, let’s just go with it wasn’t an especially woke time. Kudos to whoever designed this feature though, edutainment at its best, much like parkrun itself!

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This made a bit more sense of the golfing directive. Other directives were also made very clear:

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Fair enough, a lot of work had gone into the planting schemes just look:

But although you could not ‘tread, mosey, hop, trample, step, plod, tiptoe, trot, meander, creep, prance, amble, jog, trudge, march, stomp, toddle, jump, stumble, trod, sprint or walk on the plants, parkrun takes a different view. With the possible exception of trampling (it’s definitely frowned on to mow down other park users or fellow parkrunners as you participate so to go on to trample them altogether would definitely lead to tuts and passive aggressive sighing from fellow parkrunners at the very least) – you can complete a parkrun however you like. Which is lucky for me as I’m definitely a plodder at present.

Despite being a plodder, the park itself invited a bit of pre parkrun exploration. I was super impressed to find cones and signs already in situ, volunteers were also very focused on balloon tying and bunting display. Jazzing it all up joyfully you might say. I helped hugely by holding one end of a strip of bunting to assist in its disentanglement, and then securing it in situ with a bow under the direction of others. Every little helps, hopefully 🙂

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Even more excitingly, some had broken out the bubbles. I know! Epic.

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All looking very promising, but wait, there was more! There was a large set of buildings adjacent to the finish funnel and immaculately manicured bowling green. In it were loos, hurrah. Also clean and ample in number, with one of those automated soap, water hand driers. That in itself is perhaps unremarkable, we are used to such fripperies and indulgences in this decadent age. What was eye catching though was the laser light show as the machine operated. No really, it was quite astonishing, whether this lumiere display was in honour of the 100th parkrun or a regular occurrence I have no idea, you’ll have to go back and check it out for yourself. Prepare yourself to be truly amazed, the wonder of discovery at a new to you parkrun continues to be delivered. Here is a teaser, doesn’t really do it justice, I failed to capture the glitter ball for example, but you should get the gist. What brave new world is this indeed!

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Please don’t tell me I need to get out more, such slights degrade you, not me. Just sayin’

Ablutions completed, I followed the direction of the balloon and sign carrier to locate the start area, which wasn’t too hard to find on account of it being right near the gates you have previously entered.

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The pictures aren’t really capturing the ambience of the park. I admit, my heart sank a bit when I realised it was essentially a four lapper but honestly, the park is so full of little corners of interest, and zig zagging paths there is something to see at every point on the park. Add in balloons and cheering marshals and it’s just as well you get to go round more than once or you’d miss so much of the good stuff. Spring flowers in wildlife areas, formal beds, stone staircases and iron arches, it has it all. Add to this the fact the the event team are on a role with the celebrations and you have it made. They celebrated their flake run (number 99) last week, today is their 100th event (obvs) and then next week they will no doubt have the bunting out all over again for the coronation celebrations, with a name like Jubilee parkun how could they not?

Despite the rarity of the letter ‘J’ in parkrun land, this wasn’t a massive parkrun by any means. Small and perfectly formed. A call went up to welcome first timers, and a group of us duly assembled. Tourists had come from all over, I think from Dorset was the furthest but I lost concentration so might have hallucinated that. Also, I was distracted by the hugely exciting combo of milestone parkrunners. There was an adult on his 100th parkrun, accompanied by a junior on his FIRST EVER parkrun and another junior with a sign on proclaiming his 7th parkrun. This innovation is splendid! Numbers are pretty arbitrary so we should basically celebrate them all, hurrah! Loving the signage, genius. Our official welcomer explained that the purpose of the first timers’ briefing is to make the course sound as complicated as possible. It is really hard to describe to be fair, but when you come to complete it, it does make sense, the magic combo of marshals pointing and cunning cone placement mean it would be really difficult to get lost. This part of the briefing was reassuring. We were also forewarned though that although the park appears pretty flat, there is a bit of a gradient which, in conjunction with the multi-lap routing means you basically run up the same hill 8 times. It’s true, it is deceptive in that respect, good to be warned. Anyway, all very helpful and very jolly, with a backdrop of other volunteers perfecting the event decor. Those numbered balloons won’t hang themselves!

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We were all jumping up and down with excitement at the prospect of our Jubilee Jog or Jeff around. I was mostly jumping on the inside.

Next stop was photo posing, well it was an especially photo worthy occasion. Jolly balloons, jaunty volunteers, a jam packed parkrun awaited us. Here though first are the high vis heroes!

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Aren’t they lovely? Of course they are.

It wasn’t even raining, positively clearing up, despite a bit of a nip in the air earlier. I tried to get the volunteers jump on three for a photo, but it wasn’t really their thing. However, judging by the roar of laughter that went up from alongside in the start funnel behind me I have a strong suspicion the run director may have had a shot at getting airborne, I’d like to have seen that, maybe next time.

Run Director’s briefing followed. It was really good. It covered a bit of the history of how the parkrun started up, which of course I have now almost entirely forgotten. I do know that but for the pandemic they’d have had a lot more parkruns under their name, I have a feeling it’s start was delayed by the whole lockdown thing. There were the usual thanks. The park is exceptionally well maintained, it looked like someone was doing a litter pick and restoring some flowers to beds where they had been rudely ripped up by some ne’er do well the night before even as we gathered. Welcomes to tourists, milestone shout outs. I don’t think anything was missed. Oh – the no dogs thing for this particular parkrun – it is a park rule, and also adults were instructed to keep up with their accompanying juniors. And cake at the end, by the finish. A great incentive to get around. All good. Then the call went out ‘timers ready?’ ‘Yep’ then we were awf!

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And off went all the parkrunners, one marshal scampered balloon laden to her marshal point, and I tucked in towards the back. You start up a gradient, but a chalked sign reminds you to keep going, and then a bubble monitor at the top of the slope guided you onto a grass section to the right, down hill, past daffodils and more bubbles, a veritable bubble path on the way round should you wish it, and then a bit of a cone directed zig and marshal directed zag and back up the hill the other side. It makes perfect sense in the doing, but none whatsoever in the describing of. You’ll just have to jog along and tackle it yourself.

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You soar by a children’s play area, formal planting, the mini golf course, and up to the point where there is a marshal you pass by three times and then on the fourth occasion turn sharply into the finish tunnel. It is important to be able to count to three and remember what your count is as it is a tad disorientating with everyone else also parkrunning around in all directions, harder than you think to count to three sometimes. Fun though. I liked that you passed marshals more than once, though after the first lap some had repositioned themselves to support the finish funnel high japery. Cones remained in situ though, and it was fine to navigate around once everyone was in motion, pretty much always someone to follow.

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There was a good vibe to the parkrun. Passing parkrunners called encouragement, and the volunteers appeared to be genuinely having a ball. Music was playing near the finish area, and at one point I could hear ‘Come On Eileen‘ blaring out from the sound system whilst Team Bubble were giving a stirring rendition of ‘I’m forever blowing bubbles‘ I do appreciate a bit of gusto at a parkrun and Jubilee was jam-packed with jollity and enthusiasm along those lines! I tried to take photos on the way round, a smorgasbord follows, including some taken by others on the day too. I’ve borrowed from the Jubilee parkrun facebook page, I’m sure they won’t mind too much.

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Maybe the pictures are in fact beginning to put you in the picture. I’m hoping so.

As I was lapped I suddenly spotted some familiar merchandise – a buff linked to the With Me Now podcast – About parkrun passion by passionate parkrunners. It’s a weekly podcast about all things parkrun, and has just had its 250th pod, which is no mean feat. It’s worth a listen if you like to keep up with parkrun related news and hear about other parkruns. More importantly, it has a community of listeners who got to know one another especially during the lockdown period when the With Me Now team astonishingly, managed to do pretty much daily live streams just to keep people connected. That could be a bit of parkrunpedia (history of particular parkrun courses); parkrun pictionary; parkrun pets; parkrun people; allsorts really. It’s led to really strong friendships and much sharing of parkrun tourism adventuring now we are free to go out and about. Give it a listen, but in the meantime, shout outs to these fellow podders, even though I hadn’t met them before, I feel we belong to the same tribe! ‘Dolly or Bev!’ I don’t often see With Me Now merchandise in the wild!

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Oh, and I also thought the floral planting display looked a bit like the With Me Now logo, so that seemed especially apt too.

Where was I, oh yes, making my way around the course. It did feel like more uphill than down, which I know can’t be true but well, just saying. I did most of the first three laps in limbo land between the parkwalker ahead and the tailwalker behind, but for the final one I dropped back a little to join the tailwalker. It was nice to chat to a key member of the team who takes pride in welcoming walkers every week. Accompanying us was someone who used to live in Spennymoor but moved away and was back visiting, so I was in safe hands. The final loop went quickly. We passed the gathered parkrunners who had already finished and were having a nice social parkrun party. Marshals stood down as we passed, and cones were collected and balloons gathered in. The last of the bubbles distributed, and the final parkrunners flew home down the finish funnel.

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Eventually, I joined them, hurrah!

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It’s weird that just as parkruns always surprise me by starting, they equally catch me out at the finish. It all feels a bit abrupt. You’ve made friends with lovely people and lost your heart a bit to a new lovely place and then it’s all over, no sooner seemingly than it has begun! Oh well, timed in, scanned, and all done…

except it wasn’t! This was the parkrun that keeps on giving. More surprises.

The biggest surprise was finding there was still cake and flakes and sweets aplenty for us final finishers. Also more 100 decorations AND (and I really like this idea) a visitors book too! Beautifully made, that I was encouraged to sign, and duly did. Others had too. I like this innovation, I’ve not really come across it, and it’s hard to implement I think, but was done well here. But dear reader, there’s more! Rhubarb! Lots of rhubarb! An abundance harvested from one of the core team’s allotments. I was encouraged to help myself and did so with enthusiasm. I don’t know if there is always such rich pickings, but it wouldn’t surprise me if there were.

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There isn’t a cafe on site unfortunately, though I was encouraged to join them at another cafe, which I couldn’t because I needed to get back, and really was feeling it a bit, it is the driving as much as the walking unfortunately, and I was flagging. However, for future reference fellow tourists, on the first Saturday of the month, there is a more deliberate get together at the cafe linked to a nearby Methodist Church, so for any massive parkfaffers out there, that’s probably the Saturday to choose.

Having said that, I think I chose pretty well, I was a jammy parkrunner to jog up to Jubilee parkrun for jovial celebrations today!

Thank you all for the lovely welcome and jolly Jubilee park. Hope our parkrun paths cross again soon. Hope you have a good one next week- how could you not! I shall be marking the coronation celebrations by eating my body weight in rhubarb crumble, it’s going to be grand. #loverhubarb They really should make more of this availability of rhubarb as Jubilee parkrun’s USP, or maybe it is just a merry Jubilee Jape on their part, to keep the element of surprise? I hope I haven’t spoilt it.

Thanks for staying with me, hope you’ve had jolly japes wherever you went even if you didn’t get to have a full on personalised bubble bathing experience on the way round. I’m sure wherever you were was jolly nice in its own way.

Usual reminder you can browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.

May you too stumble on a parkrun with surprise offering at the finish, I’m delighted with my rhubarb, but whatever floats your boat. Every parkrun will give you the warm glow of a shared experience and memories to treasure, even if it cannot guarantee to deliver on a fruit fix every time. Still not a bad return for our free, weekly, timed fix.

Same time next week then, at a parkrun near you? Good oh. 🙂

You can dance, you can jive and you can parkrun at Hackney Marshes. Abbasolutely fantastic voyage of discovery!

I’m not joking when I tell you that Hackney Marshes parkrun was ABBAsolutely Awesome! I’m really happy that we made it to this venue, especially when you hear how some people got on on their parkrun day. There was a particularly disgruntled post by someone who’d gone to Royston Vasey parkrun and had a terrible time, as that one is a local parkrun just for local people apparently. Hackney Marshes is of course a local parkrun for local people too, but also very welcoming of first timers it seems, so good shout. We truly were having the time of our lives this weekend with Londonshire adventures!

Thoughtful regulars too, see how that guy is trying to tiptoe past unseen? I think he’s trying to get to the communal yoga mat the team put out for you so you can have a pre-parkrun stretch if the mood takes you.

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I’d been a bit apprehensive about this weekend. It was going to be a whole night away in Londonshire, and last time I had such an adventure it wiped me out entirely. For a whole week afterwards I was barely functioning. I’m better than I was for sure, but my health feels precarious. I have very little stamina and it doesn’t take much exertion to knock me out for several days following. Going away for an ABBA voyager dance off AND a parkrun seemed crazy, but then again, an opportunity too good to miss. I decided the only fair thing to do was to come clean with my co-conspirator and party planner. Wasn’t sure if I’d make it through the night. Fortunately dear reader, she was awesome. Pointing out it wouldn’t matter one bit if I popped my clogs at an ABBA concert, in fact what an awesome way to go. She’s trained in care work so wouldn’t be remotely phased and would (obvs waiting til the concert had concluded to avoid ruining it for everyone else) spring into trouble shooting capable action to sort stuff. Also, she’s pretty canny, I would abbasolutely have given consent for her to try to blag some comp VIP tickets to go back another time to help her recover from this trauma. I’m not quite sure how a backstage pass would work with avatars, but worth a punt. And as for giving up the ghost at parkrun, I know for an actual fact someone would have the wit to scan my barcode and that would be splendid too. I’d probably make the parkrun blog, and would posthumously use this performative death to manipulate more parkrunners donning fancy dress, and indeed ABBA Voyager concert goers as well. Not many had made the effort, I was shocked. I would say ‘each to their own’ but really? Point is, transparency paid, it was going to be a road trip from Sheffield darn south, a decadent afternoon, overdoing the blue eyeshadow, trot to the ABBA Arena – my it was windy. And wet. So much wetness, falling from sky, or more accurately slamming into us from the side. Then, security checks passed, into to the mosh pit to throw some moves, singalonga like nobody was watching, which they weren’t, or they were, they didn’t care, then sashey back to the hotel for cheap prosecco and debrief with just one more sleep to new parkrun day. All went well, we had a fABBAlous time, well worth any physical damage to be experienced over the coming days. The thing is, whilst it’s possible to do many things alone, it’s just harder. I can get a spider out the bath these days, but it will take several goes. Same with opening prosecco, I can manage, but it’s just so much more fun with a buddy to open it for you and share the fun. So it is with an ABBA Voyager outing, you could go on your own, of course you could, but having a co-adventurer is double the fun. It’s a boon if your companion happens to be an epic Dancing Queen too, the appreciation was mutual!

Also, I now have a smartphone. Yes, I know, it’s taken a while. I have been threatening this for some time, but now at last the deed is done! This means finally I can take decent photos and pay for things like a grown up by waving my smart phone over contactless machines. I suppose it is good to have finally joined the digital age and access treats such as whatsapp and the 5k running app. Unfortunately, I still don’t really know how to use it, and my failing eyesight and fat fingers combo gives some communications a significant element of surprise, oh well, keeps everyone on their toes and adds novelty to the most mundane of exchanges, so where’s the problem? Talking of the element of surprise, my Google phone can do some things by magic, like this animation, it just appeared. I am amazed and slightly spooked by it’s capabilities, much like with the ABBA thing. Not going to give any spoilers, but would recommend, it was a hoot. Mind you, helps that we are both outstandingly cool dancers. Not blowing my own trumpet or anything, but if the fuse on the gig had gone and the avatars vapourised, we could totally have stepped in, stepped up and stepped out to save the day, nobody would have known the difference at all.

Oh look my camera can do magic edit things. Who knew? I’m loving having this new toy more than I should. No way am I playing this cool. Out of character as that is I know. Still wearing the wrist band and the eye make up. Partly because I want to, and partly because it turns out using permanent marker pens to do your eye shadow isn’t as clever an idea as you first thought.

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And new parkrun day came!

To be completely honest, Hackney Marshes was the parkrun destination of choice, purely because of proximity to where we were staying. I knew nothing about it at all. Good news though, another friend lives really near and then an ambassadorial friend gave it the thumbs up too, saying it has amazing London views. That’s good then, shame to come all the way to Londonshire and not see them. Another potential consideration, only it wasn’t was that it rained and rained and rained and rained and rained and rained and then rained some more on parkrun eve. A good many parkruns had to cancel due to waterlogged fields or actual flooding. Some of the photos of cancelled parkrun venues were quite something to behold. Even if someone had been bold enough to try to erect a finish funnel, they’d have been swept away by a rising tide of flood water. Edenbrook Country parkrun being a case in point. Some, apparently, did gamely brave a (not)parkrun but this was made possibly only by the loan of floatation devices and lane dividers courtesy of the local swimming pool/ leisure centre. Good shout. I guess you’d have to have brought along your own wetsuit and snorkel, which is fair enough. They had lifeguards rather than volunteers too. Core teams think of everything 😉

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Considering there is a potential clue in the name Hackney Marshes we were lucky that there was no potential parkrun cancellation angst to wrestle with for us. Better yet, my EWFM and parkrun buddy came to meet me and my ABBA twin in our hotel foyer, so we were gathering like children around the Pied Piper to go in procession to our parkrun of choice. Except that it’s really more Paul Sinton-Hewitt (PSH) that the Pied Piper who brings us all together. Did you know he completed his Freyne parkrun this weekend by the way. That’s his 250th different parkrun destination. Paul Sinton-Hewitt that is, not the Pied Piper, not least because the Pied Piper is a fictional character, and even if he was real, he would be dead by now as that story first emerged in the middle ages accordingtowikipedieasoitmustbetrue. Oh and unlike the children being taken off never to be seen again in some sinister kidnap, we would be joyfully joining the throng at Hackney Marshes parkrun where you’d be insane not to return week after week thereafter. Oh, and we wouldn’t be in procession, we’d all be in the same car, fitting in nicely once the back seats had been cleared of all the doggy paraphernalia and assorted life accessories that had gathered within like a prepper in the making, but who hadn’t quite got around to digging their bunker. All backseats of cars are the same over time. It’s like sand dune succession, landscapes evolve. Fact. So pretty much identical to people heeding the Pied Piper’s call apart from those minor tweaks, and also very much like excited friends gathering in anticipation of visiting a new parkrun, which is way more fun to be fair, and much more to be recommended. Besides, we are probably a bit past being referred to as children, but that’s ok, because you are never too old for a parkrun.

I hadn’t done any real research into Hackney Marshes parkrun, but have now, so do save you the arduous task of clicking on the Hackney Marshes parkrun website, the official blah de blah reads as follows:

Course Description: The course consists of an out and back around Hackney Marshes. From the start on the East Marsh do a clockwise loop of the marsh following the edge of the football pitches. After the third right turn head along the grass to the bridge that goes over the River Lea leading to the main North and South Marshes. Turn right when over the bridge and head along the tarmac path for 1300m before taking a sharp left turn onto the North Marsh. Head south around the edge of the North Marsh keeping the football pitches on your right for 900m until you get to the end of a set of 7 pitches; veer left and then turn right to re-join the tarmac path towards the start/finish. When you reach the bridge to the East Marsh turn left and then reverse your original route round the East Marsh to the finish.

The course has spectacular views of the Olympic site and a lovely stretch following the River Lea navigation channel. It is a flat course, the vast majority of which is run on grass, with the start/finish section located on the East Marsh just a short 5 minute walk from the car park that services Hackney Marshes centre.

Facilities: Toilets are available in the Hackney Marshes Centre 400m from the start.

Location of start: The course starts near the Hackney Marshes Centre in the southeast corner of the main marsh, just next to eastern most end of Homerton Road, before the junction with the A12. The centre is a large and distinctive rust coloured building, with full shower and changing facilities on site. The start line is located next to the football pitches on the East Marsh, just over the River Lea and a 400m walk from the Hackney Marshes Centre. The postcode for finding the Hackney Marches Centre is E9 5PF.

Post Run Coffee: Every week we grab a post parkrun coffee at the Hackney Marshes Centre – we look forward to seeing you there!

And it looks like this:

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So a tadpole drawn in the style of Picasso or other Cubist painter basically. They should just say that at the run briefing really, and then everyone would be totally clued up about where to go. Another way of thinking of it, is as a lollipop with a dislocated neck, does that help at all? Personally, I just follow everyone else and go where the marshals tell me, that works too.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, hotel foyer. Checked out, into car, and on our way using the postcode advised. It was a short drive. The destination on our satnav was a bit before the park, but we used our skill and judgement to work this out and avoided parking in someone’s driveway, in favour of going to the actual park. There was a staggering amount of parking available, and this being London, also excellent public transport options by the look of things. The main issue that presented itself to us was which of the many car parking spaces to choose. We then went into the huge rust coloured building where, joy of joys – there were loos aplenty for precautionary pee purposes, phew.

We were less confident about where to go to find the start. However, we espied other parkrunners, who impressively were wearing 500 parkrun milestone tees, and they’d already asked someone for directions, we threw our lot in with them, and followed them through trees, over a bridge, and through to a clearing with football fields where we could see the volunteer team in a high vis huddle. We had made it, we were here! So exciting!

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It’s always a good feeling to have arrived in good time at a new parkrun, we’d made it, hurrah! But there were more delights to follow. My EWFM parkrun buddy had already volunteered to tailwalk, so collected her high vis and kudos, and my ABBA twin was up for an impromptu volunteering bout, the previous night’s whirling, twirling, bopping and popping having taken its toll, she was warmly welcomed and given a cheer spot near to the bridge we’d just passed. What’s more, she hadn’t got her barcode with her, but no problemo! You can find a friend’s barcode – or indeed a barcodeless stranger’s barcode – on the 5k app if you have a smartphone. Gamechanger. High vises donned, the next task was to take a multitude of photos, obviously. I’m really enjoying my new smartphone’s camera, it is so good, but as a consequence I do have to take a great many photos. Even I am hoping the novelty wears off soon, as it’s impossible to choose which ones to include.

Here we go though, your starters for ten:

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But wait there’s more. We obviously had to chat to the 500 milestone runners, but guess what? You can’t guess? Don’t worry I’ll tell you, they’d only been to the ABBA concert the night before as well, and were down from Leeds, so practically my parkrun neighbours. This called for a photo for sure:

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But wait, there was still more. I had Red Ted with me, as I do on most parkrun occasions, unless I’ve accidentally left him in the car or at home or he’s visiting friends or something. Turns out, that having a bear companion isn’t odd at all, they have one too! Only their bear is more media savvy having his own instagram and FAcebook page. He went to ABBA Voyager with them apparently, it wasn’t really Red Ted’s thing so he stayed back at the hotel. I am ashamed to say I can’t remember their bear’s name, but it was something very cute, like Bumble or something equally adorable. He wasn’t at the parkrun, sleeping off the excesses of last night I dare say, but we got to meet him virtually, so that was a win. Here they are together, #newfriends.

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Just goes to show how easy it is to find something in common with parkrun compatriots! You just need to start talking and you are bound to find connections aplenty! It was very exciting! If ever I have a hypnotist do any regression therapy with me, I’ll try to remember to ask if I can pay them a bit extra so that they have time to dig down and find out the name of the bear so you can find him too. He looks very sweet does he not? Would be money well spent I’m sure.

So after we’d swapped bear stories, and ABBA stories, and got high vis, and done lots of picture posing and taking, it was time for the first timers’ welcome, which was delivered with grace and enthusiasm by the lovely Run Director for the day. She had a clip board in front of her and the London skyline behind. There were quite a few first timers, I wondered if numbers had been boosted by other ABBA goers or people displaced by flooding. Apparently, a whole month’s rain fell in one day on parkrun ever. Honestly, I can believe it.

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Then after a short interlude, there was the actual Run Briefing, also delivered by the Run Director, who was gamely standing atop a collapsible chair. Clearly someone who lives life on the knife edge, and doesn’t mind flying in the face of a risk assessment. There were pacers – reusing now redundant high vis which was a good plan. There were also a number of bespoke signs indicating the start of the parkrun. Apparently they usually have a flag, but it blew over, hence the chair. Plus, presumably, once the parkrunners are awf, there is a bit of a break before the front runners make it back round the field, so those on the finish funnel area can take it in turns to have a bit of a sit down in this interlude. Either that, or they can play a particularly rubbish game of musical chairs if they feel bored enough to have to make their own entertainment during this short lived lull.

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After the usual thanks and shout outs, and a warning to look out for Colin’s Lake at the turnaround point (it’s Colin’s marshal spot, and a lake had appeared, so he got to name it, and named it after himself, well I’d have done the same frankly, it’s fair enough) and it was awf!

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Yay! Love a good start!

The field raced ahead, and soon were looping out of sight around the first of the football pitches. You did get the most fantastic views as promised. There were no football matches taking place this Saturday as the pitches were waterlogged, but normally there are loads. Today you got the full spectacle of the thread of parkrunners, flying round the perimeter of the field like bunting made of lycra and dreams. A vision of loveliness and athleticism indeed!

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The views are amazing, those skyscrapers are impressive, though that one that seems to be missing a whole floor apart from a teeny bit at the side holding up all the storeys above is rather alarming. Not gonna lie, would very much NOT want to live above that.

By the time we came back round the field to the finish/start area most of the parkrunners had disappeared out of sight, but not to worry, I was with the tailwalker who by happy happenstance and pre parkrun plottery was my lovely parkrun buddy and EWFM. I mean really, what were the chances! Never alone at a parkrun indeed. We got to wave at the volunteer crew as we passed them, and next we were safely waved over the bridge by my ABBA twin, who was doing excellent work cheering, directionally pointing and indeed taking photographs of parkrun participants. I say parkrun participants, but her particular speciality is barkrun participants, and she did very well indeed in that respect. We were crossing out just as the first finishers were coming in. I was able to take some pics of those using my new smartphone. Did I mention I have finally got myself a smartphone. Oh I did? Are you sure? It takes lovely photos – did I mention that? Oh. Well, good that you were paying attention, but would hate for you not to have known.

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Over the bridge and a right, waved round by cheery marshals. At this stage of the parkrun we were in a contraflow with lots of parkrunners now homeward bound. It was nice to see them, though I was a bit daunted about how fast they were compared to my slow progress. Still, spirits were high, and parkrunners friendly. I snapped some pictures as we made our way along the path. The path was actually pretty good, a few slippery bits, but considering the rain a great surface. We were alongside the River Lea. Although obviously I have no idea how high the water lever usually is, you could tell the muddy waters were waaaaaaaaaaaaay higher than usual, I guess that water has to go somewhere. The pacers were going at cracking speed and no doubt encouraging others to new pbs or at the very least the desire for a new set of lungs.

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You can’t really get lost without falling into the river, so there weren’t that many marshals along the way. However, we came across a little family of them clustering together to try to steady parkrunners coming back from the fieldy bit back onto the main river path via an extra squelchy mud fest. I got distracted by the high vis and returning parkrunners and nearly went wrong, taking a little diversion to snap some more photos before being encouraged, coaxed, shepherded and shooed back on track by my attentive tailwalker. She has form with shooing, and is particularly good at shooing hens, so corralling a waywood parkrunner left her completely unphased. What a star. She at least had been concentrating during the description of the route during the run briefing! I can report that there was no faceplanting in the mud or sinking below the surface of the slurry of mud on their watch. The parkrunners went out, and the parkrunner returned, each and every one. As far as I know the high vis heroes managed to stay upright too – sometimes precariously so, but upright nevertheless. Weeble like, they wobbled, but they didn’t fall down!

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Me and my parkrun buddy now had the riverside path to ourselves for quite a stretch. Other parkrunners were all on their way back, and we’d passed the contraflow section. It was a good opportunity to appreciate the spring blossom, look out for the green screeching parakeets and put the world to right. Well, we made a start on putting the world to rights, there is still a way to go for that to be fair. The willows over the river were amazing, and the wildlife habitat was just brilliant. Everywhere you looked they seemed to have created a microhabitat. That might be an area of stumps, or a fenced off insect house, all very impressive. Granted, this is a flood plain, but even so, it blows my mind that there is this vast green space in the middle of London, and that it is being managed as an oasis for wildlife alongside a multitude of football pitches and yes a parkrun. Shared spaces like this are beyond price. The backdrop of the London skyline is an extraordinary juxtaposition. This really is a proper lovely parkrun. I mean, all parkruns are perfect in their own way, but I’m glad we picked this one for this weekend, we were winning at parkrun life!

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After a bit, MUCH EXCITEMENT. We espied what had to be Colin! He of the Lake! This would also signify the turnaround point, subject to negotiating the sploshing section without falling in. Despite his wait, he was in good spirits, and up for some pond posing and parkrun posing all of which had to be done. It was all very jolly and satisfactory. I like the picture with the reflections best, but you can choose your own. Sort of like the Lady of the Lake if the Lady was called Colin and the Lake was a pimped up puddle. I think they should make this a permanent feature of the course, it added a certain panache to parkrun proceedings.

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We scurried on by past Colin of the Lake, and onwards beside yet more football pitches. There are lots. There was a little trail of yellow arrows in the ground to follow, like breadcrumbs through a wood and we only had one moment of hesitancy when we looked behind us for reassurance from Colin. He was coming along behind us plucking arrows from the ground like so many swords from a stone (or is that a different story), and gestured for us to veer left. I’ve checked about the swords by the way. I couldn’t bear to think of you having to do that yourself. I’ve found out that ‘Excalibur was for from the Lady of the Lake. The Sword in the Stone (that Chooses the King) is a different sword. It’s typically called Caliburn to differentiate it from Excalibur, but that fails miserably as Caliburn is simply the Latin for Excalibur. But in any case, they are two seperate swords.’ So now we know, and our lives are immeasurably the richer for it. Immeasurably as in too small to measure rather than too big, but every little helps as the advertising professionals would have us believe, so parkrunpedia prevails.

After a bit, we found ourselves back at the quagmire of peril, where there was still a team of high vis heroes to see us safely through. My tailwalking buddy did a somewhat melodramatic slalem, but regained her balance if not entirely her dignity and lived to faceplant in the mud another day. We were gathering quite a merry troop to accompany us by this point, and parkrun was all the merrier for it. The outstanding directional pointing also prevented us from continuing straight onwards and into the river. Excellent work all round, all the volunteer marshals were absolutely on point today, as no doubt they are every parkrun day to be fair, but good to have it on the record all the same.

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Retracing our earlier steps, we were soon back on the bridge where my ABBA twin was ready to cheer us in, accompanied by Red Ted who was her support crew just as she was ours.

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We were back at the start, but not yet at the finish. The tailwalker and I were however the last parkrunners standing, with no-one else apparently completing the final reverse lap of the football pitches. I was a bit crestfallen and in honesty felt a bit bad about keeping so many people waiting, my incapacity isn’t visible, so I do worry what people think and fear the perception that I’m just messing about (even though up to a point that’s still an acceptable approach to a parkrun, and parkwalk is very much a thing). I feel self conscious about being so slow. I can have a jiggle for a certain length of time, and then I’m broken and get ever slower. Still, whatever demons were running amok in my head, the volunteer team were cheery and unhurried. Apart from calling out to us to make sure we were going the right way, they seemed pretty chilled. We realised there were some batons marking the way, and my parkrun buddy rang the RD to see if it would be helpful if we collected them on our way. It would, so we did. Discovering in the process these are absolutely not just random parkrun batons, but ACTUAL light sabers, which had to be tested, obvs, so we did. Very fine they were too!

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Then ‘suddenly’ there was the finish funnel, still up in all its glory, and the full team beaming to welcome us in. It was with grace and enthusiasm we were welcomed in, timed and scanned and cheered with as much enthusiasm as the first finishers I’m sure, which was quite a lot, in case that isn’t immediately clear.

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Hi vis were surrendered and thanks and goodbyes exchanged, and that was that. A wander back to the centre for a pit stop. There is a cafe there, but weirdly, very little seating, so although a couple of people had lingered for coffee, there wasn’t a huge gathering. You could get coffee, chips and croissants, snacks, friendly and personable. We opted for a quick coffee and catch up before going our separate ways.

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and that was that. Shame, it had been properly lovely.

Hackney Marshes had one more surprise to offer up. More emotional support animals, this time courtesy of the groundperson’s minimobile, which is a bit like the batmobile put together on a budget. My companions thought the animals looked like they’d been garrotted and the whole thing was rather macabre oh well, life would be dull if we all thought the same about everything. I think they’d been saved, and as soon as the sun comes out and they dry off a bit, they’ll be just dandy once again, with a whole new lease of life.

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Time to head back oop north, with memories of giddy days in Londonshire and a particularly fine time hot footing it round Hackney Marshes. Making a splash in the Abba Arena and on Hackney Marshes both!

Oh, and we even remembered some occasion selfies, without which, it would have been as if nothing had happened! That’s Charley with the Hackney Marshes sign by the way. Bears aplenty today!

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But things did happen, and fun was had and all was good in the world. What’s more, we can do it all again next week! Hurrah!

Thanks again lovely Hackney Marshes parkrun people, you have a wonderful inclusive parkrun vibe, and a glorious location with the most excellent backdrop to boot. You made us so welcome. Hope to come back again one day and see you in a different season. You are stars.

Thanks for sticking with me dear reader, hope our parkrun paths cross sometime soon, but in the meantime you could always browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though. 🙂

Horton – Here for who? For Nelson! Horton Park parkrun #333

Hordes of parkrunners high hoved to Horton indeed, but friendly ones. Happy hordees if you will, gathering together for who? For Nelson, that’s who! It being all the threes, three, three, three, a palindrome But really mainly just getting together for parkrun day, to have a nice yomp around a lovely park with gorgeous people. What’s not to like? That’s right dear reader, absolutely nothing. Hurrah! No wonder so many of us rocked up for fun times in February.

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The RD is doing an ankle warm up by the way, niche, but might catch on.

You are wondering no doubt why it is that the number 333 rings a bell for you. Well dear reader, let me jog your memory, you will know of course when prompted that ‘Year 333 (CCCXXXIII) was a common year starting on Monday of the Julian calendar. At the time, it was known as the Year of the Consulship of Dalmatius and Zenophilus’ or the geologists among you (yes, I mean YOU!) might be ruminating on AL 333 – that is the unforgettable “First Family“, ‘a collection of prehistoric hominid teeth and bones. Discovered in 1975 by Donald Johanson’s team in Hadar, Ethiopia, the “First Family” is estimated to be about 3.2 million years old, and consists of the remains of at least thirteen individuals of different ages‘. Impressive as this finding undoubtedly was, we can beat that gathering of thirteen, with a stonking turn out of 151 parkrunners of different ages rocking up for event # 333 at Horton Park parkrun in Bradford. I didn’t bother to work out the estimated collective age of participants, but concede it might not quite be 3.2 million years – but I’d bet my parkrun buff that if you added up all the ages of parkrunners who have completed a parkrun it could reach that figure. Please don’t check though, I like my parkrun buff and would prefer to keep it. Also, I’m not great with numbers, so might not be quite a fair contest. The point is, 333 is a fun number, an interesting number, and a lure to many to seek out a particular parkrun destination.

It is especially attractive to those parkrunners invested in completing parkrun challenges, in this case the Nelson Challenge, which is to complete a parkrun event (or sequence of events) with a number that’s divisible by 111. I’ve covered the accuracy of this nomenclature before when I did a post about coming together at Concord parkrun # 555 so I’ll spare you that again, lets just say it’s somewhat contested, might come from cricket, yet for parkrun Challenge purposes a Nelson it is. It’s also getting a bit angsty over whether or not it’s ok to chase number challenges at parkrun. The argument being that it can impose a huge influx of new parkrunners at events that might not be able to cope with such attendances. I think for the lower numbers it’s less of an issue, as more parkruns keep coming on board, however it’s certainly going to be a challenge when Bushy parkrun hits 999 and then 1000 in consecutive weeks as the first to do so. Similarly the 888s are few and far between at present. I’m not sure of my stance on this. It feels like the challenge is out of the box. Short of ceasing to number the events at all (which some have mooted) I don’t think this is easily undone. I view all the challenges I choose to take part in as an aid to choosing where to tourist. I’ve got into the Nelson Challenge somewhat by accident as I found two close to home in Sheffield, had already completed one without realising it, got an offer of a lift to another, and then found very handily, Horton Park parkrun was offering up the missing link parkrun number 333 just an hour away from where I live. I feel ok with what I’ve done, but not gonna lie, it does make me now want to complete the set, and perhaps that is going to swamp events. I reckon Bushy parkrun will cope, I was there on Christmas Day 2019 when there were something like 2,600 – hang on, I’ll go check – yep 2,545, but with soooooooooooooo many funnel duckers who had to get away for Christmas stuff it was more than that. The event coped really well, but it is exceptional, then again, it’s likely it will mop up the early challenge seekers, and ease numbers for the parkruns that follow. We shall see. It can be a fine line to step at times, celebrating discovering parkruns that you might not otherwise be drawn to, but not destroying the very event you want to enjoy.

Still, back to Horton Park parkrun. Lovely. Nice gates. Not a euphemism, just an actual fact. Yes, I know, my camera can’t cope, I’m hoping to replace at some point, but for now you’ll just have to use the image as a taster to get the gist, and then shifty on up (or down) there to have a looksie for yourself.

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Let’s start though, with the official Horton Park parkrun blah de blah:

Where is it? The event takes place at Horton Park, Horton Park Avenue, Bradford, BD7 3BN

Course Description: This is a 3.5 lap clockwise course all on smooth, wide tarmac paths suitable for prams. The park dating from 1878 lies 1.6 km to the south-west of Bradford city centre and slopes gently up from north-east to south-west. The area is predominantly residential with some industrial development on Horton Park Avenue to the north-east. The start is on the broad central promenade at the top of the 19th century cast-iron bridge which carries the promenade over an irregular lake at the centre of the site, from here head straight up passing formal flowerbeds and the rose garden to the top of the park and turn right onto the perimeter path which gently rises to a peak before descending the entire length of the park past an avenue of poplar trees to the principal park entrance which is flanked by stone gate piers supporting two pairs of late 19th century iron gates. Continue on past the forecourt roundabout, where the path curves round to the right passing the play area and rising round past the bowling greens, an S bend round to the right offers a short reprieve from the climb. Continue on past the basketball court and now grassed former tennis courts where the path curves round to where you first joined it. To finish turn right at the bottom of the park after completing 3 full laps and head up the central promenade where to the right a stream from the lake winds alongside down a stone culvert with a number of small cascades.

Location of start: The start is on the broad central promenade at the top of the 19th century cast-iron bridge.

Getting there by road: Approximately 1.2 miles from Bradford City Centre, follow the A647 Great Horton Road, turn left into Horton Park Avenue, the entrance to the park is on the right. There is ample on street parking on Horton Park Avenue and Powell Avenue.

Post Run Coffee: Every week we grab a post parkrun coffee in our local Tesco café (Great Horton Rd, BD7 4EY) – please come and join us!

and it looks like this:

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Jolly good.

I’m still having to walk, so though I may as well get in touch and offer to be a parkwalker, and was welcomed for the role which is always a good sign. Also a good sign, from doing so it alerted one of the team, who is also a With Me Now (unofficial parkrun podcast) listener that I’d be going. They’d look out for me, we could have a mini meet up, it would be grand! I choose to think of their proactivity in noting I’d be there as being a good thing, a testament to reaching out. It was not at all that I had triggered some sort of public health alert scenario their end, with damage limitation and managing the situation safely being uppermost in their mind when reaching out. Yay for meeting fellow parkrun passionistas! parkrun people who live in your laptops but you’ve not yet had the joy of meeting up with.

On a more serious note, Horton Park parkrun had to cancel a couple of weeks back due to lack of volunteers. They’d done the usual multiple shout outs to no avail, and eventually had to make the agonising decision not to go ahead. There was some negativity about this along the lines of ‘why not do a shout out on the day’ but this response rather missed the point that some parkruns – increasingly since the pandemic – are spending hours and hours putting out appeals, begging almost for volunteers and this is demoralising and unsustainable. Last minute offers can be too little, too late, and waaaaaaaaaaaay too stressful for event teams to manage and it is very time consuming to keep on checking and making shout outs right to the wire. Ultimately, parkruns are community events, they need the communities they serve to get involved in delivering them too. Obviously not everyone is able to volunteer, and volunteering should not be compulsory, but events don’t happen by magic and so it’s important people think of stepping up now and again to keep them alive. For me, the tragedy is that volunteering at parkrun is not a sacrifice, it can be super fun, you see the parkrun from a different perspective and can get the whole parkrun joy without having to actually charge about. It astonishes me that some parkrunners have yet to embrace this, and it saddens me hugely that so many parkruns seem to be struggling of late. Maybe the awful truth is that it takes a cancellation for some to wake up to the notion that their parkrun needs them to volunteer too. Horton Park parkrun is a small event really. The average number of finishers being 62.6, so that’s not a huge pool to draw from. However, Endcliffe parkrun in Sheffield had to cancel last year due to lack of volunteers despite having 457.2 average finishers each week. It can’t just be about the numbers taking part, something else seems to be happening. This situation just makes me incredibly sad. Individual parkruns get cancelled but worse still, core teams burnout, jeopardising parkruns entirely. Saddest of all though, is that people are missing out on the joy that is volunteering at parkrun, it’s an actual FACT that volunteering makes you happy. The converse is true too. You know like in Peter Pan, when everytime someone says they don’t believe in fairies one falls down dead right then? Well it’s the same for parkruns too. Everytime someone declares ‘parkrun doesn’t need me to volunteer‘ or ‘volunteering is not for me‘ (without any particular reason why) a little bit of the parkrun spirit dies too, and core teams retreat, feeling battered. That’s what it can sometimes feel like anyway. Whatever, I just really hope people who maybe haven’t got around to volunteering yet at their event do so; or maybe introduce a non-running friend to parkrun so they can join in and be part of parkrun as a volunteer. Volunteering on a regular basis brings its own joy. You might even end up with your own corner on a course, and you’ll definitely get an appreciative round of applause at the start of every parkrun. Just do it! I mean look at the volunteers at this event for instance, jumping for joy and they’ve not even started the morning’s parkrun yet. Can hardly contain themselves. This could be you! Wait til you see how happy they are at the end. Those endorphins can last all week, swimming around your system powering you through.

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And you think that’s happy. You should have seen them buzzing with endorphins at the end.

This photo was taken by a rather excellent volunteer photographer by the way. He made a point of gathering the volunteers at the start and taking a photo of us all together by the Horton Park sign to show where we were. On reflection, it would have been good if one of us had been holding the day’s newspaper too, so we could prove the date as well. It is a nice touch, I love group photos of this ilk, it helps build the volunteer community. He did one fairly standard photo and then one of us looking altogether more cheery. Hurrah! Nice touch, great pic. Actually, there were lots of great pics from today, which is handy as my own photos were, erm, let’s go with ‘sub optimal’.

Oh, and by the way, if you need encouragement to volunteer, check out Sherwood Pines parkrun volunteer appeals, they are brilliant at expressing the joy! Give that Facebook communications person a cheer! Loving their work. Worth following their page just for a weekly chuckle, even if you can’t get to run their, though it’s a fab parkrun too for the record. High time I went back to Sherwood Pines parkrun for another yomp round, it was one of my favourite courses.

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Back to Horton Park parkrun though, because that’s where we were experiencing the parkrun love today.

I did my usual thing of setting off paranoically early so arrived at the park in good time. There was loads of parking, even allowing for it being a larger than usual turn out. I could have parked right by the very impressive gates, but wasn’t quite sure if that was allowed, so followed the actual instructions and popped myself on Powell Avenue, where, at that time, I could have the pick of positions. What joy!

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It was surprisingly nippy out, so I had the usual pre parkrun faffery of deciding what to wear, and then I ventured into the park to explore. As before when parkrun touristing, I was really taken aback but the grandeur of the park. It had mature planting, a huge, wide central avenue, little bridges and hidden gardens with fountains – switched off at present, but no doubt spectacular when going. Sadly, there were signs warning of bird flu in the area, and maybe that’s why some of the little waterways were empty, I wonder if they are trying to discourage birds from gathering too much. There was also a weird structure of tree roots apparently covered in tarmac. I can’t be sure, but I wondered if this was the remnants of a fossilised tree. The only time I’ve seen anything similar was at another Bradford Park, at the Precious and Rare Bradford parkrun in Lister park, so that would make sense. Gotta be honest, it looks a bit underwhelming as displayed at present, but if you think about it a bit more, what a mind blowing thing to have in your local park. 330 million years old potentially, if we decide it was actually 333 million years ago, and I think I have now decided that, what a brilliant segway back into Horton Park parkrun #333. Phew. And you thought I was getting distracted again didn’t you! Oh ye of little faith!

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Because of arriving early, I was before the volunteer team had set up, so I went for a little wander about, and then met someone who looked very much like – and indeed was – a fellow parkrunner, who pointed me back to from whence I’d come, which is the rendezvous point for volunteers. So basically, the volunteers meet near the main gates of the park, and then the first timers welcome and RD briefing is held a bit beyond the park steps. The start being a little further along again. It’s not a huge park to be fair, and there is very little chance of missing the parkrun unless, like me, you are there ahead of them 🙂

Very soon though, parkrunners started assembling, cones were being carefully placed, high vis handed around and the usual buzz of meeting and greeting as everyone gathered. Tourists too, I was found by my parkwalking buddy for the morning, another tourist along with the tailwalker. They were walking ahead of a 10k race not a run tomorrow so happy to walk at today’s parkrun not parkrace, so that was good. Oh, and I found or was found by, fellow With Me Nowers, and spotted the distinctive WMN merch on the RD too, so amongst friends, albeit ones I hadn’t met yet. Oh wait, and there was a Huddersfield parkrun buddy, not seen since Hillsborough parkrun #444, and another who was at Zielony Jar parkrun last week, the week after me and the others. Did I mention when we went, one of our party lost her barcode, so I choose to believe this other Huddersfield parkrunner made the trip particularly to see if it had been found and pick it up. It hadn’t been unfortunately, but she had a very nice time at the parkrun anyway, just so you know. So many stories to share, although annoyingly conversations were inevitably only half finished as is sometimes the parkrun way. That’s ok too though, it’s always good to leave your both a parkrun, and your audiences wanting more!

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Roles allocated, ‘official’ volunteer photo taken albeit not everyone could be included as some were already busy undertaking their duties, we started to wend our way up to the bridge. More meeting and greeting went on, I always feel a bit emotional at this point, so many connections being made or renewed. Oh, and also, a rather splendid barkrunner, with own bespoke hi-vis, always a win. And even time to pose for a few group photos. I never saw the pop up sign somehow though, probably too busy chatting. There is one there, perfect for that team shot if you are so inclined.

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I somehow missed the first timers’ welcome, I think because I was slow joining the throng from the volunteers photo. I know it would have been excellent though, how could it have been otherwise. Then the RD did his briefing. Welcoming people to Horton Park parkrun #334! See what he did there! Hilarious. Well, it should have been #334 if they hadn’t had to cancel, so just a reminder. That’s a With Me Now hoodie he is sporting there – you can see it in full glory on this fellow WMNer who did the first timers’ welcome, albeit it was a shame he had the wrong lettering on the back of his.

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A printing error surely? #sitdownnotcooldown. They say you have to respect the right of everyone to participate in parkrun in their own way I know, but just saying I doubt very much the RD would have made the same mistake, although maybe it’s just as well you can’t see that under his rather fine monochrome RD high vis… New blue RD high vis is no doubt incoming. Quite possibly at a parkrun near you too very soon, if not already.

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There were the usual thanks and milestones and loveliness, and then we gathered for the start, and everyone ready? Timers ready? Awf!

I tried to take some pics, and then joined as a walker towards the back of the pack, quickly drifting to the tailwalker. It is a weekly irritation that even my walk is so slow. I am generally very much better than I was, and almost sprightly at home and on the flat, but I still can’t walk very far or for very long time wise, and cold weather doesn’t help. I’m a little more hopeful than I was that the summer may bring some improvements, but I found walking this particular route felt a stretch. I think a combination of the cold, and a slightly faster walking pace than I can maintain. When spring finally properly is sprung, I plan to try to get out and test myself more, but I need to feel confident it is safe to do so. Back to parkrun though, Horton Park parkrun was go, and go we did!

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What a fine body of parkrunners in action we were! All of us. Yes, you too, if you were there, or even if you weren’t – all parkrunners are fabulous always and so are parkrunners yet to be. It’s only a matter of time before you join the happy throng I’m sure 🙂

The route is pretty straightforward, although it being a multi-lap course, you do need to be able to count to three preferably, which is harder than you think. Don’t worry too much though, there are lots of marshals around who as well as being exceedingly good at directional pointing and cheering, can also count to three – perhaps even beyond! There was no need to test the latter competency on this occasion, but I reckon they very possibly could. Stars, each and every one.

I tried to get photos of each of the marshals en route. The cheery top of the hill marshal who’d lost her signs but not her enthusiasm. The chilly duo who were good spirited despite having to bounce up and down quite a lot to keep warm. The ones at the bottom of the hill to cheer you round again or back up the hill to the finish funnel depending on your lap quotient, the solitary smiley marshals oozing enthusiasm and authority as they managed their spots solo. The ones not small but far away, and the close to the hive of activity at the finish funnel marshals at the end. Then there was the photography marshal, and the cheery marshals and everything and everyone in between.

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off we went, soon the two parkwalkers and tailwalker found ourselves in step. The rest of the pack being far ahead. It is a lovely park, and the snowdrops were amazing at this time of year. Mature trees abound, I saw catkins which are always a particular joy. We were cheered by passing parkrunners lapping us as well as the marshals at intervals on the course. It had a good friendly vibe, much parkrun positivity was bursting out along with the spring bulbs. I’d swear the sun even came out briefly, possibly also following the ‘always leave your audiences wanting more’ principle no doubt. The volunteer photographer was on hand to capture the whole occasion. All the photos for Horton Park parkrun #333 are up on the Facebook page but here is a smorgasbord to save you the exertion of having to click on the link. Oh, and I included a couple of mine too, but I don’t think you’ll struggle too much to work out which are mine and which are his.

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We walked and talked – twalked, and chatted and pootled – chootled round. Even though there were three of us we did get a bit discombobulated about how many laps we’d done, but don’t worry, completed the course most satisfactorily in the end. Don’t worry though, even though we were kept busy twalking and chootling, we were sufficiently alert to our surroundings to strike a pose for the photographer on our way around. I’m not even going to try to pretend we weren’t fussed about having our picture taken! Fabulous though aren’t we? Three volunteers for event #333 I like this photo, even if it does make me look like a jumbly. Or maybe I do look like a jumbly and the camera has just captured that reality, oh well, it’s still a fun shot, and jumblies have their own charm too. Plus, I’d happily go to sea in a sieve if I thought that sieve would take me to Bere Island parkrun, so we have much in common. More in common than divides us in fact, as the saying goes.

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The route goes round the outer paths of the park, and takes in some Yorkshire flat. It isn’t massively steep, but if you were running, as opposed to walking, I think it would feel like a fair old climb as it’s quite a distance up hill, but then you get to run down in on the other side of the park, so swings and roundabouts or ups and downs, it all levels out in the end. On our final lap, some of the marshals walked companionably along with us for a bit before they headed back down the central path to the finish funnel. Meanwhile, faster parkrunners sprinted home, captured with flying feet, flailing arms, smiles and grimaces all by our heroic photographer. Action shots are The Best! Not everybody demonstrated all these things, but there is always next week to complete the challenge, should you choose to accept it. Good luck!

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And so the time came for us to pass up the finish funnel to the chorus of cheers from the timers and finish funnel managers and scanners all still in place. There were a few stoical, supportive parkrunners still milling around, and enough volunteers for a further photo op. Hurrah!

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And that was that, time to pack up and go home, and think of ideas for the inevitable caption contest photos that would be incoming later on.

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All in all, a pretty fine parkrun. There was just one critical incident, which unfortunately probably would have had to be reported to HQ, but these things happen. It was bungate.

A kind parkrunner had some particularly impressive buns. S/he’d brought them along to share in order to celebrate either the 333, or touristing, or a milestone, or just to be nice – some people are. Anyway, because the photographer was busy with their camera, his special bun was carefully placed to one side, to keep it safe until he could step down from his duties, documenting the parkrun. At the very end, as close down was underway and high vis tabards were being gathered and cones and other parkrun paraphernalia collected together on a handy bench DISASTER STRUCK! His iced bun did a kamikaze topple, iced side down (isn’t that just always the way) tumbling over in slow motion to gasps of horror from onlookers. Gutting.

I think there was talk of salvaging the situation, or replacing the bun, but that must have hurt. Hopefully there will be future parkruns with future offerings by way of recompense. In the circumstances, it was most fortunate that the photographers blood sugar levels sustained him for as long as they did!

And so it was time to disperse. I did get a kind and sincere offer to join the team who would be gathering at their local Tesco up the road for parkfaffing purposes. Possibly results processing and all those things too. Alas, I couldn’t stay this time, but it’s always really nice when teams or locals do encourage people to join in for the post parkrun catch ups. After all, as we all know by now, parkrun was always about the coffee.

Thanks you Horton Park parkrun for the warm welcome to your lovely park. It was a great team and a friendly vibe. Your snowdrops are breathtaking and fossilised tree roots a one in a 333 million year spot. Yay you. Hope our paths cross again some day, but in the meantime yay for keeping the parkrun love alive, well done on you #333 parkrun, here’s to the next 333 million years. I wonder if any parkrun memorabilia will last that long. A golden barcode from a parkrun pioneer perhaps, or just the parkrun spirit, leaving it’s aura behind wherever a parkrun has been run, in perpetuity. That would be nice.

So there we go, that was that.

But only ’til next time. See you there! 🙂

Of course in the meantime you could always browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though. And check out the Horton Park parkrun photos for event #333 in case you think I’ve missed out the best ones, which is quite possible, as it’s sooooooooooooooo hard to choose which ones to include!

Don’t worry though, I remembered to include this one of the WMN mini meet up, yay, I did spot another WMNer en route in the photos, but they had vanished by this point, we held the in our thoughts though, so that’s ok!

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Yay for Yarborough Leisure Centre parkrun #3 for a pribbonacci gathering

This is a parkrun that is all about the people. I was twalking again (walking and talking) but saw a comment from a participant on the Yarborough Leisure Centre parkrun Facebook page saying how much they enjoyed their ‘chatty pootle’ so maybe chootling is the way forward? We shall have to wait and see. What is clear, is that this pretty new kid on the block laid on a fabulous welcome at it’s super organised and perfectly accessorised parkrun event. It’s just three today, isn’t that sweet? Yet sassy and confident in it’s delivery, which included not only cheery and cheerful volunteers, and enthusiastic attendees but even glorious sunshine. #livingtheparkrundream. Oh, and a ‘Y’ for alphabet chasers – only the second in actual Europe. Which sort of overlooks the fact that alas, we are part of the EU no more, so don’t really feel all that European anymore to be honest, so really England has the parkrun Y monopoly in this area at present. Spoiling us with both a York and now a Yarborough. There was a Yeovil Montacute parkrun at one point, but that is no more. Only the parkrun, not the place, just to be clear. Wouldn’t want you to think there’d been some sort of top secret annihilation of the town that has been all hushed up, there are more than enough conspiracy theories as it is. Mind you, I’ve never actually been, and now I look Yeovil up on Wikipedia I’m not sure it is an actual real place. Key messages include ‘One symbol of Yeovil is “Jack the Treacle Eater”, a folly consisting of a small archway topped by a turret with a statue on top.’ hmm, see what I mean, and other claims to fame include that ‘Yeovil is known in Thomas Hardy’s Wessex as “Ivell”. … (it) … is the location for the fictional School of Lifemanship in a series of novels by Stephen Potter: Gamesmanship (1947), Lifemanship (1950), One-Upmanship (1952), Supermanship (1958), Anti-Woo (1965) and The Complete Golf Gamesmanship (1968).’ I mean, where would a fictional school be located other than in a fictional town? Quite, just sayin. Also, ‘Montacute’, think about it, how can that be a real name? Kudos to those who did manage to bag a parkrun there though, I’d have thought that was pretty much like timing it right to arrive to join in a jig at Brigadoon once in every centur. Respect to those who found it. Today though, was all about Yarborough Leisure Centre parkrun. And jolly splendiferous it was too!

This is a relatively new kid on the parkrun block. As one of only two Ys, the launch must have been a bit scary for the team, but it coped brilliantly with its inaugural event. This is a new event that is within reach of Sheffield, so was on my radar, but I was happy to let it settle in a bit rather than crash the first event, even though I did get wind of it before hand. I hadn’t particularly got a date in mind to head over, but then my new parkrun besties from Huddersfield declared their intention to go today, and as I’ve been experiencing MASSIVE separation anxiety since waving them goodbye last week, it seemed too good an opportunity to pass by. Yep, I’d be there. Despite still feeling a bit broken from all the excitement of last weekend and indeed last week.

I was filming again last week, and had an exhausting day of early call time meaning 4.45 a.m. start to arrive at unit base in time for huge breakfast, hair and make up, then in holding on squidgy sofas so bit of a nap, woke up for long enough to compare conspiracy theories (though puzzlingly, we didn’t get onto whether or not Yeovil actually exists) then played table tennis for first time in decades. Turns out it’s super fun, even if you are terrible at it (me, my opponent used to play in a tt league apparently). Do you remember when Boris madly started calling it wiff – waff? What planet is he on? Mind you, that wasn’t the craziest thing he ever said or did to be fair, so let’s keep things in proportion. Then broke for lunch, more kipping, much hilarity with the other extras, trying to spot ourselves in ‘Better’ watching in on fastforward on iplayer, and crying with laughter at our shadowy figures fleetingly glimpseable in the very back of shots only when the frames were frozen brief half hour on set then realeased by 6.00 p.m. #livingthedream I always think a day where you cry with laughter at work is a good one. Remind me to tell you about the job interview I had with Dogs for the Disabled. Only time I’ve literally wet myself crying with laughter during a job interview. Gawd it was hilarious though… Also, I think this means I am officially a professional table wiff-waff player, on account of the fact I was being paid for playing it. I may yet become part of the sporting elite! Hurrah. Anyway, stop distracting me, or we’ll never get to the start line of Yarborough. Here is a sneak preview, just to keep you on board…

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I would be there at the start, I would meet with Huddersfield friends, it would be magnificent, being further broken is but a small price to pay to hang out with parkrun besties. I would get to wear my giraffe llama leggings all over again. Well, strictly speaking I’ve not taken them off since departing for Poland and our epic trip to parkrun Zielony Jay. Why would I? They are the comfiest thing ever, are linked to happy memories, a much appreciated gift and also, I like giraffes. Then again, I don’t think we should have to justify our clothing choices whoever we are. Want to know what to wear? Have clothes? Have human shaped body? Then put clothes on and voila! Job done! Fancy dress is always a good option though obvs, but more of that later…

Shall we start with the official blah de blah? Just for some context? Yes? Good. So, according to the parkrun website:

Yarborough Leisure Centre parkrun is a ‘A free, fun, and friendly weekly 5k community event. Walk, jog, run, volunteer or spectate – it’s up to you!‘ and the event takes place at ‘Yarborough Leisure Centre, Riseholme Road, Lincoln, LN1 3SP.‘

The course is described thus: ‘The course makes use of the cycling club’s race track. It is three and a bit anticlockwise laps around the perimeter of the Yarborough fields. Flat and wide tarmac all the way around’ so fairly minimalist, but also fairly straightforward. As long as you can count to three and a bit, which to be fair is suprisingly hard on multi-lap courses, no worries, marshals would be bound to help.

The course looks like this:

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All good!

Early start again, and off out. It was exceedingly blustery out, fallen branches and bins going awol. I had a brief moment of angst re driving, all those high sided vehicles being blown around is a bit of a scary thought. Oh well, nothing ventured. Up and out and satnav on. Whilst I was gingerly venturing out, the Yarborough Leisure Centre parkrun team were up and at it!

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The drive was actually ok, it was windy but some sunshine and relatively mild, almost spring like. The only real complication was that my satnav took me the most extraordinary route, maybe my bad because I opted for a route which would avoid paying a toll. I’d swear I went via the channel islands, the Isle of Man and an overnight stay in Dover, before arcing up to Glasgow and making my way back down again. I also got stuck behind a tractor for quite a while just outside Aberystwyth, which is fair enough as a tractor can only go as fast as it can go, but was quite stress inducing. Then when my satnav announced ‘you have reached your destination’ I very clearly hadn’t so had a moment of panic. Fortunately, I’d printed out all the directions and there was a bit of detail

Getting there by road – For SATNAV use LN1 3SP – what3words: ///buddy.humble.above

The leisure centre is on the north side of Lincoln. Follow the A46 around to the intersection with the A15 and turn in towards Lincoln on Riseholme Road (B1226). Yarborough Leisure Centre is half a mile on the right signposted Lincoln Castle Academy.

Plentiful free parking is available at the leisure centre.

Well, the what3words didn’t help on account of being person not in possession of smartphone, but just a bit further on from the garage I’d pulled in at was a large entrance, signed for the Lincoln Castle Academy, and you follow road round to see well signed parking for the Yarborough Leisure Centre. It was a bit tighter time wise than I’d have liked and I was concerned I wouldn’t get a space, but Yay! Loads of parking, even at 8.45. There were plenty of parkrunners still arriving, many a tourist buff, and the excited chit chat of gathering participants.

SO EXCITING!

Amongst those a-gathering were my Huddersfield buddies, they took the precaution of doint carpark selfies, it has to be done. I didn’t though, but did try to do some snaps of the little trek to the start. It’s not especially far, but nor is it very obvious. With so many newbies at present, there were cheerful volunteers on hand to guide the way. There was also a high vis hero to gently steer you away from the leisure centre loos. Panic not though, there are alternative loos near the start in a sort of sports hub. It’s just the leisure centre got a bit overwhelmed by precautionary pee-ers the first week so they’ve made this change. There was even a toilet monitor at the sports hub loos to ensure orderly and fair queuing. Give that marshal an ‘other’ running challenges credit immediately, job well done!

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As with all good parties, I met loads of people in the queue for the loos. My Huddersfield humans were just emerging, and then as I exited, good news and lovely surprise, look what I found:

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Yep, that’s actual Yogi! Smarter than the average bear. It was a great surprise, ‘Yogi’ was actually a rather splendid Humber Bridge parkrunner, who is completing her second parkrun alphabet, only this time in fancy dress, as you do. With the fancy dress costume of choice to start with the same initial letter as that of the parkrun, clever eh? Like I said, smarter than the average bear. I have previous with Yogi, as she was a very attentive and supportive tailwalker at Humber Bridge parkrun back in July last year when I was just tentatively trying to return to parkrun as a walker. That was an especially scary and tough time, and in a way, it’s good to be reminded of this. I still despair quite often at my physical limitations, but actually, compared wtih July last year I have made some progress. Only using one stick and a lot less wobbly these days. It’s hard not to dwell on what I still can’t do, but actually there are things I now can. And also, were it not for my having to come back as a walker, I’d have missed out on connecting with many people who are my twalking/ chootling buddies and my life would be the poorer for it. Perspective can help on a bad day, and on a good day like today, I feel genuinely lucky. Portly yes, but lucky too!

Oh, and fyi, there is no pop up sign at this parkrun, so if you want a location photo memento, then the Yarborough leisure centre sign is probably your best bet. This will, over time I’m sure, become the most photographed leisure centre sign in the parkrun world, possibly the actual world. They must wonder what’s hit them! It’s grand it’s in parkwalk colours, the little details are much appreciated…

Fortunately, the other bears in attendance today, are also a lot smarter than average, so no risk of offence there, phew! Bear Running Club is known for its high percentage of mensa members amongst its number. FACT. Probably. Should be really anyway… I certainly think they are all pretty smart, and that’s good enough for me. Just look at them, intelligence, insight and parkrun positivity pretty much visibly oozing out from their very pores!

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After we’d done some meeting and greeting, it was all a-gathering for the first timers’ welcome. To be fair, there were a lot of first timers, it being a new Y and a prime and a fibonnacci number and all. The cheery RD (who is also an ambassador I gather) helped the first timers welcomer onto a raised step and there was a great intro to the event. All were welcomed warmly, including some actual first time everers, who got a huge cheer – and there was also a welcome for a new arrival in every sense. In attendance was a parkrun newbie who had attended inside their mum’s tum (not anatomically correct I know, but I like the rhyme and you get the gist, she hadn’t been eaten or anything) and then burst out into the world on Thursday, and was now in attendance in their own right, wrapped up warm in a pram with happy parents gazing on. That was pretty awesome. I wonder if this is the youngest parkrun attendee to date, and not to have EVER missed a parkrun even prior to arrival is especially spectacular. I’m all for starting parkrun as young as possible, but this newbie newborn takes that to the literal limit. I wonder how many parkruns they’ll get to during their life time. AWESOME!

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Yogi, who incidentally is a paramedic noted that it would be really cool to assist a birth at a parkrun and who can disagree with that. I wonder if you’d still be able to get your finish token scanned afterwards. I suppose it would depend whether or not the tailwalkers held back for you, that would seem fair. And another huge cheer for the tailwalker resplendent in his 100th different event banner, a true cowell, so that was very exciting. He was a bit sneaky in that he removed his sash on the way around after being nearly garrotted with it twice. I know we should really respect everyone’s right to participate in parkun in their own way, so I tried not to be too judgy but it was only nearly garrotted, and don’t they say ‘third time lucky’. Just sayin. It did make it back on for the photos at the end thankfully. Massive phews all round!

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Just checked the results stats, out of 306 participants, there were 223 first timers at this parkrun and 5 first time everers. That’s a lot of newbies. It didn’t feel like a new parkrun though, it ran like clockwork. The numbers didn’t seem to be an issue – perhaps it feels positively quiet after their inaugural turn out of 449!

It was a such a feel good welcome, everyone seemed in really good spirits, the event team seemed unphased by the numbers, people were greeted from all over Kent, Huddersfield, Hull, Doncaster – and there was an Isle of Man Veteran listed on the results. I could have maybe stopped off en route to pick them up if I’d only known. It was all very jolly. The announcing of it being the number 3 event got a huge reaction, prompting a slightly bemused reaction from our meeter and greeter. Audience participation clarified ‘it’s a prime‘, ‘it’s a Fibonnacci’ and – best heckle yet ‘it’s a pribonnacci!’ And they’ve only just got over the shock of being a Y! I gather that this parkrun is one that is delivered by people who genuinely come from the local community, as opposed to existing parkrunners. Maybe this helps it feel so welcoming and inclusive, they seeme happy to have everyone rock up, proud of their venue and committed to ensuring everyone would have a great time, and why wouldn’t we, it was perfect! The crowd listened with enthusiasm, and attentiveness, this was going to be grand!

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and then there was the RD briefing. He gave a shout out for milestones, locations and a nod to the ‘not mad at all’ fancy dress alphabeteer, as he said, why not? Why not indeed. This was the first time I’ve seen the new dark blue Run Director High Vis, I like it, I get that there is loyalty to the striking monochrome, but really, it’s cool. My favourite remains the powder blue parkwalking volly vest, but I was too late to bagsy it for this particular event. Other quicker off the mark parkwalkers having made it onto the roster first. No worries, my turn will come around again, and I’ll get to wear the high vis at junior parkrun tomorrow. Meantime, check out that merch – missed a ‘Dolly or Bev’ shout out moment there methinks…

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The briefings took place a short way from the start line, so there was a mass walk to the start. I was trying to get to the back of the line up so was in fact facing in the wrong direction when everyone started moving forward. That was somewhat discombobulating, but I was able to re-orientate myself and slot in at the back, alongside my various buddies Yogi buddy, parkwalker buddies, tailwalker buddies, lots of company for the party at the back at this parkrun!

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and that was it, we were awf! The start!

OMG you have to check out this Facebook post with a video clip of the start, just brilliant, thanks for taking and posting lovely Yarborough Leisure Centre parkrun team, you are The Best!

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What to say about the course. It’s what it says. A really wide tarmac path track throughout. It makes for a very inclusive surface, easy for buggies, wheelchairs, wobbly walkers, guided runners anyone really because it’s spacious and predictable. You could honestly take a carriage and eight horses round that route, no worries, though I suspect that would count as an assisted run, you’d need to check with the RD, also, don’t take the horse and cart on the running track, that needs to be treated with due reverence. Fair enough.

It was to me a slightly unexpected course in that you are surrounded by houses that back onto it for much of the route, and you go past running track and playing fields and all sorts of sporting amenities. It feels like it’s in quite a built up area, but equally you get glimpses of Lincoln Cathedral at various points on the course. It’s sort of an angular off-set figure of eight. You do the far loopy loop bit twice, then the whole lot three times, so it was a bit confusing as to which lap you are on, whether it is a three lap, four lap or five lap course is hard to say, as it depends what you decide constitutes a lap. Fortunately, there are marshals and signs to assist, and Red Ted was concentrating so able to keep us all on track. There was some outstanding directional pointing going on, some assisted by giant foam hands, always a win at parkrun, and there were juniors on hand to give assistive high fives which was very much appreciated. Massive extra kudos to the local resident who has taken to coming out and giving a cheer to passing parkrunners. This make me a tad emotional, as it reminds me of my mum’s parkrun journey, she started off as a local cheering passing runners, and was adopted by her parkrun family in Bushy park. Check out the reference to Elisabeth’s Corner, marshal point 5 in this run report. I hope that happens here, this woman definitely deserves her own high vis, check out those supportive jazz hands, and friendly disposition, she’s a shoo in as an honorary if not actual marshal!

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We may have struggled a bit with the lap counting, but we did well with the soaking it all up and cheering the other participants side of things. The great joy of having multiple laps, is that you get to see and cheer other people running round, and you are never really alone en route either. |It sort of mixes up all the different speeds of parkrunners in a parkrun potpourri, giving a whole new spin to the concept of parkrun fresh. Fragrant in an altogether different way you see. You spot most people a couple of times at least, and it was all very friendly, and lovely too. I think this is where pictures help. Not mine so much, because my camera needs to retire, but fortunately I’ve freely borrowed from others so you don’t have to. There was an official photographer there too, so hopefully I’ll be adding to this account with other ones in due course, this is the parkrun that keeps on giving!

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So we twalked and chootled and soaked up the atmosphere, and counted the laps, special mention for the intersection which is affectionately known as ‘chaos corner’. Nope, no idea why… good fun though 🙂 You feel like you can see just about everyone at this spot, and the marshal at this point can look one way to see parkrunners scampering around in circles and the other to see a view of Lincoln Cathedral. I know! Splendid.

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and cheered fellow runners and all was right with the world. ‘Suddenly’ we found ourselves approaching the finish. We quickly got in order and processed through with considerable panache if I say so myself. The finish funnel was still surrounded by helpful and cheerful marshals ready to time us in and scan us safely home.

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Thanks, as always, to the amazing volunteer team. And thank you too to my Huddersfield and Humber Bridge parkrun friends. It’s humbling to think of all the people I’ve come to know all over the place, purely because of parkrun. It’s taken me to places I’d never have otherwise visited, and introduced me to brilliant people I’d never otherwise have met. At the end of the day, parkrun really is all about community, for the most part it brings out the best in people, and restores faith in the world. Today was a case in point. Thank you all!

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That was the parkrun part completed, but we still had some quite extensive parkfaffing to do. Particularly we wanted a parkrun photo. We espied some handy steps adjacent to the running trap, and crossed over to pose. This was not the right thing to do apparently, as they are sensitive about who sets foot on this track, something about having the right shoes, and not obstructing runners using the track. Actually, there weren’t any anyway, and we negotiated for a photo op, but maybe be mindful if you are doing the same. We got some fab pics though, and fab memories too, I mean just look at us, in all possible configurations, gawgeous!

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But wait, there was more, then we had to get the obligatory leggings shots:

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and then we had to get the group shot in front of the leisure centre sign. To be fair, it was more arduous than being on set, never had so many cameras pointing at me at one time! Good to capture the memories though, eh?

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We left the team results processing and token sorting in the leisure centre cafe, and went our separate ways. They were happy in their work though, so that’s good.

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and then suddenly, that was that. The end.

But only til next time, obvs. 🙂

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Oh, and as always, if you find yourself at a loose end, you could always browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.  But it’s even better if you can get yourself to an actual parkrun near you and experience it for yourself in glorious technicolour.

Thank you Yarborough Leisure Centre parkrun people and parkrun buddies, it was grand. I may well pop back here later on with extra pics and a link to the run report for this third event in due course,

oh, hang on here they are – and here is the event report for the day too. For triangulation purposes.

Here is a little smorgasbord of pics, check out the 2 day old parkrunner doing their second parkrun gawgeous, and the lovely high vis heroes. Each as photogenic as the one before, impossible though that is to imagine!

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So for now hey, hey hey and –

That’s all folks!

ea-Zee does it Zielony Jar parkrun

I might burst. No really, I was just so excited at the prospect of getting to Poland, not just to bagsy a Zee, but to go adventuring and to meet with international parkrunners AND get to know my new parkrun besties from Huddersfield parkrun a bit better. Not gonna lie, a bit apprehensive, but mostly super keen. Not scared just EXCITED. Eazee to confuse the too.

Look where we went, and it was all I hoped for and more! Oh yes indeedy, simply the best, as has been sung before!

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But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start at the very beginning, it’s a very good place to start. The plan came about from me being introduced to some llama leggings I think. Something like that anyway. I was at Huddersfield parkrun for their 500th event, with my giraffe, as one does, and met up with friends I hadn’t made yet but felt like I knew already. Shouty Lady – to whom I’d given a shout out in a remotely written run report for Endcliffe parkrun back in October 21, little imagining one day we’d be off on a parkrun holiday together – , a friend of a friend parkrun ambassador, oh and a fellow parkrun tourist who I’ve met a few times but forgot had Huddersfield parkrun as her home event. Anyway, turns out they are all huge fans of llama leggings and – get this – even though they are called llama leggings they have actual giraffe ones, that pretty much have my name on them, what with me and my emotional support giraffe Geronimo often to be found hanging out together. Honestly, I’m not quite sure how we went from that exchange, to planning a trip to visit a parkrun Poland, but it will be both parkrun logical and parkrun inevitable to most parkrun passionistas. Essentially we bonded over parkrun, fancy dress and fabulous leggings I suppose, and one thing led to another. It is the parkrun way. In our case, it led to z-chasing in Poland. Hurrah!

I just, sheep-like, went along with what everyone else suggested. We want to do the same things anyway, and with a parkrun at the epicentre of our plans there was unlikely to be a clash of priorities. We settled on Krakow. Basically, it was easy to get flights to there from Manchester, and once landed there were many parkruns in reach – including a Z – so less angst inducing if there were any cancelling on the day. Hurrah. Then we found a date and ‘suddenly’ it was booked and happening. Turns out, there are a couple of fabulous organisers/ leaders in the Huddersfield parkrun set, and who am I to undermine their talents by showing any initiative? Without followers there would be no leaders after all, and I was only too happy to oblige. Yes, I do worry sometimes where my compliance might lead, but so far it’s led to fine adventuring and unexpected turns which has enriched my life rather than leading to my joining a cult. Unless you count parkrun as a cult of course? But it’s clearly #notacult because I’ve been told that, a lot. And even if it is a teensy bit, it is for the most part a benign one.

Our destination would be Zielony Jar parkrun. Fortunately, google automatically translated their official parkrun webpage with information about the course, and better still, the translation is absolutely adorable, just look at their official webpage blah de blah:

route description – The route consists of four laps leading through two parks “Zielony Jar” and the Pocket Park “Osiedle Na Stoku” along paved alleys. The start and finish are in the same place, ie at the stage/amphitheater in the “Zielony Jar” park. The meeting place for participants is located near the start and finish. The profile of the route is slightly demanding, because the sum of the elevation gains is almost 80 meters.

Amenities – The covered stage in the amphitheater allows you to hide your personal belongings. Near the start there are exercise equipment, a children’s park (swings, slides, merry-go-rounds, etc.), benches with tables to rest, a fenced football/basketball court and an outdoor children’s pool.

Launch location – The start and finish are located at the stage/amphitheater in the “Zielony Jar” park.‘

They have a launch location and an amphitheatre, this is going to be splendid! There are tables you can rest at and an ice cream parlor. Why let snow get in the way of frozen treats after all.

Wait, there’s more – the course looks like this:

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In the spirit of just going along with what everyone else was doing, and knowing I’d be walking anyway, I got in touch with the team by email to offer to volunteer. SUCH A POSITIVE RESPONSE. Even a blue heart emoji, this is living the dream in terms of anticipatory parkrun positivity!

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Just when you think you couldn’t love them any more! They also forewarned me – with a twinkle in their eye (can an email have a twinkle? I’ve decided that Yes! It can!) that this is the ‘most difficult parkrun in Poland‘.

Oh. Really? Erm, wasn’t quite sure what to make of that, but hey ho. And wait? What fresh joy is this. ZUMBA! Granted, they were apologising for the lack of it, but turn that on its head in a half full rather than half empty way, this means that this Polish parkrun has a Zumba warm up role as part of its weekly parkrunday offer. This is beyond awesome. Look! The camera never lies, these are from the parkrun Zielony Jar Facebook page so it must be true! And what’s more, is that actual snow I see. OMG, this is the parkrun that keeps on giving. Cold might not be super fun, but snow very much is!

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I was pretty sure we’d be able to improvise something as an alternative. Zig Zagging on the icy paths perhaps? We would see…

One thing was for sure, this parkrun party was happening. I did have some moments of wondering if it was maybe a bit weird to go away to a foreign land with people you hardly know, but then again, once you have a parkrunner’s Athlete ID that’s all you need. Some Tralee parkrunning friends of mine said their only thing they needed to know about their offsprings’ potential romantic partners was whether they were registered parkrunners and what their home parkrun was. Fair enough. Besides, past experience strongly suggests I’ll be the one with the peculiar eccentricities, I’m pretty sure I snore for a start, I have perfected all sorts of amusing and diverting/decidedly annoying* (*delete as appropriate) tics from living on my own unchallenged for decades and what’s more, I’ll certainly be the slowest out on course, so more of a risk to them than they to me :). To be fair, this very concern was shared by one of my most recent house guests. Have I mentioned recently that I rent rooms out to people working at the Sheffield Theatres? It’s been life enhancing on the whole, so many anecdotes created and shared. Anyway, one of my most recent lodgers arrived with a day in hand so I insisted on taking him out to Stanage Edge because I think a trip out to one of the peak district’s most iconic edges should be mandatory for any first timer in Sheffield. It was as we were driving out to the moors he commented ‘my mum wanted to know how I could be sure you wouldn’t murder me?‘ Leaving aside my abject horror at being old enough to be a parent to this grown up, I had to point out I’d not previously considered this, but now he came to mention it…. Stranger Danger is still a thing apparently. Anyway, I don’t think of a mandatory trip to the Peak District as abduction as such, more a public service. And he didn’t put up all that much of a fight, even though it was a bit of a squeeze in the boot what with all my litter picking paraphernalia already in there. There were even paragliders when we got there, just like in this photo taken by the amazingly gifted Phil Sproson – it’s from October last year. Sometimes I can’t quite believe what glories are just a few miles away from where I live. Get out there and stride about people, it restores the soul.

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Back to Poland!

Acknowledging we’d not really met up before, we were hoping to gather at Scunthorpe parkrun early in the New Year. Not just for the smutty words parkrun challenge (childish but true) but reachable for them from Huddersfield and me from Sheffield. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen, snow and ice and scary driving conditions meant I bottled it. Oh well, we’d meet at the airport – except – spoiler alert, we had a pre meet! Very excitingly, when I headed to Sheffield Castle parkrun who should I meet, but one of my Polish bound parkrunner buddies bearing gifts. She was volunteering as tailwalker and had espied me on the roster too. I had employed no such initiative, so was hugely, and pleasantly, surprised to see her. The gift she bore was in the form of llama leggings, which confusingly, in fact had actual giraffes on them. Unlike llamas (and alpacas and guanaco and vicuna and camels) Giraffes aren’t even part of the camelid family, though weirdly the latin name for the Northern Giraffe is Giraffa camelopardalis. Weird. Oh hang, OMG there was yet more, llama leggings with giraffes on them AND a matching scrunchie. We would all have them, it would be our matchy matchy kit, and to be honest, I was almost as excited about getting to wear my leggings for the first time as getting a z for my parkrun alphabet! It took not inconsiderable willpower to hold back from wearing them straight away I don’t mind admitting.

And then we were on a meet up roll. Next stop Nelson 555 at Concord parkrun and then all over again at Hillsborough parkrun #444 we really must carry on meeting like this. It’s fab.u.lous!

And then, finally it was nearly time to go. What to pack? As little as possible, I’d travel in my parkrun gear, and Red Ted was attached to my walking pole. A million barcodes, a smothering of thermal underwear my favourite hat, and that was about it. At last, the morning dawned – early rise as off to Manchester airport paranoically early. I’ve never driven there before, and didn’t really want to, but there would be no trains after my flight back, so it was drive or have to sort out some accomodation.

Up, and finally, I got to officially wear my llamaleggingswhicharen’tllamasatallbutgiraffeones #llamaleisure

Oh. My. Gawd. About the leggings, before I tried them on, I couldn’t really grasp why people rave about them so much and have so many different pairs – a pattern for any and every occassion. Once I’d had a little go – just to check they fitted ok obvs – I totally got it. Soft and comfy and with pockets. Of course you’d want loads of pairs! Then again, once I’d put them on in the morning for this Polish trip, they have stayed on 24/7 ever since, so maybe the real question is why would you ever need another pair when once on, you don’t want to take them off. I’m now a believer, and happy to be 25% of the legs of Llama Leisure’s recent Facebook post, which immortalises our Poland parkrun jaunt in the marketing archives of llama leisure. It’s a start on the pathway to worldwide fame I suppose. After all, I’m in most excellent company! All I need now is a discount code, and to be persuaded to change into a new pair of leggings. The thing is though, I do really, really like the giraffe ones. Nothing beats having the tallest living terrestrial animal and the largest ruminant on earth etched on your legs after all. Well, actually, having a family of warthogs might, but inexplicably I don’t think they’ve got around to doing that print yet. Never mind, I’m sure it’s only a matter of time, if they want me to endorse their merch, there needs to be some give and take on both sides. Still, fabulous pins all round though I think you can agree. We rock this look like a hurricane! Plus, easy to find each other at the airport.

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I was really worried about the drive to the airport but in fact it wasn’t too bad. I’d prepaid for parking but was thwarted on trying to enter the carpark as the number plate recognition didn’t work. No worries, I had printed out my booking form and buzzed through to the nice man who lives in the carpark. I confidently stated my situation, and after some faffing, he asked me to repeat my number plate again, which I did. Oops, that’s not what I’d typed in with my fat fingers apparently. Oh well, a little token popped out like a copper coin from a penny arcade only more plasticy – this would allow me to exit, and up came the barrier. I had to drive around for ages, sweating, before finally finding one last space which was a really tight squeeze as it was sandwhiched between what were essentially two monster trucks. What I’d have done if there were no spaces at all I just don’t know, it was precarious, but hey ho, in safely. Really short walk to the terminal and phew, I was in.

I was also ridiculously early, so settled down for a wait, exchanging messages with the Heavenly Huddersfielders to get real time updates as to their progress.

SO EXCITING.

And then, at last, we were all together in the giddying embrace of Manchester airport, which was a lot nicer than I remembered it. Then again, last time I went it was pretty much post apocolyptic hell on earth, mid rebuild – possibly even a differet airport. Now it was all spacious clean and even had places to sit! I’m sure there was a photo of Red Ted and RD Ted checking out the departures board, but I can’t find that now, they were excited too though, fyi. Anyway, cue photo dump of excitedly gathering at airport. Turns out, waiting at an airport is waaaaaay more fun when surrounded by parkrun buddies than when all on your lonesome. Who knew? Oh, and wait, I do have photos, thanks to emergency rapid response facebook messaging service! Phew.

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What’s that? It seems to be taking me rather a long time to get to the actual parkrun? Dear reader, you think the waiting is bad! Try being us in the weeks between booking the flights and making it to this point. I have missed so many planned parkruns due to pandemic (Poland; Malmo and a gazillion cancelled uk ones); surgery then illness I was in a state of permanent heightened alert in anticipation of some unexpected horror that might have prevented us from going. I’m sure you can cope with a few minutes of delayed gratification. Delayed gratification is totally not my preferred thing either, but sometimes needs must. Incidentally, did you know that being unable to delay gratification in anticipation of a greater reward later on is associated with psychopathic traits according to some research. Just sayin’. Sociopaths and Psychopaths r us would have to fast forward. Even so, worth mentioning you don’t really have to wait, you can always just scroll down to the ‘good bits’ – assuming there are some still to come, but honestly, at this point, who knows. In fact who amongst us ever really knows anything at all now I come to think of it. So many mysteries in life…

Where was I. Oh yes, about to board a plane.

Guess where we were going! Only actual Krakow in actual Poland!

We were protected for our journey not only by our parkrun wrist bands, but some wrist band keep sakes supplied by one of our number and chosen with great care. Thank you :). So one of us supplied llama leggings, one supplied personally chosen wrist bands and one basically booked all the accommodation and flights. One of us didn’t. But they did remember to pack Red Ted and bring along a copy of ‘How parkrun changed our lives’. Maybe it was a case of from each of us according to our ability. I felt somewhat lacking in terms of my actual contribution to be fair, but I did bring along considerable gratitude and enthusiasm, and perhaps that counts for something too! Oh no, another missing photo of our wrist bands. You’ll have to just take my word for it. This is terrible though, it’s like we are actually supposed to remember things in our head, instead of having lots of pictures on our facebook pages. This is like the bad old days when great swathes of our history went undocumented for decades at a time. I mean, some things can be communicated, but if I don’t find a photo of that little dog we saw… it frankly doesn’t bear thinking about! Some things just have to be seen to be believed. If you know, you know!

The plane journey was for the most part unremarkable, though not the smoothest of rides. And although I say ‘unremarkable’ it is actually pretty remarkable that we all piled into this little aluminium or whatever tin can thingy and flew through the air up high and landed the other side of the sea, so let’s not take such daily minor miracles for granted shall we. Then we arrived! It was cold, it was dark, but we were here! Snow on the ground, well what was once snow compacted into mucky icy patches, but you take my point. Super exciting. Part one of mission Zee accomplished. The llamas had landed!

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The next challenge was getting to the apartment. There is a taxi rank right where you arrive, but instead we went for the uber option. This seemed like a grand idea, but because of the veritable army of vehicles about, it prooved incredibly difficult to spot our actual uber, not helped by our traipsing off in completely the wrong direction to meet it. When our driver and we finally met up, he was decidedly grumpy. Turned out, this was because the confusion meant he’d stayed too long in the pick up area so had to pay extra on exit. We paid the fee in cash (I say ‘we’ but I think we all know that I wasn’t massively proactive in sorting any of this). Our ambassadorial leader sat in the front trouble shooting, and the rest of us squidged companionably in the back of the taxi peering out into the dark and cold night.

The journey wasn’t all that long, and was fun because we were all together, but would have been angst inducing alone. It was pitch out, and for reasons I still can not entirely fathom because it was different on the return, our route out from the airport took us down seeming dirt roads where we bumped about alarmingly. Maybe this is what it felt like for my lodger in the boot of my car? Split four ways though, the 20 minute journey was super cheap – £10.40 in total. So no brainer to get an uber really, hassle free option, I daresay others have done things even more cheaply by public transport, but I was happy to get into a taxi and be magicked to our destination.

And what was your destination? I hear you cry. Well, it was an apartment, picked for being not too far from anything between old and new towns and pretty near the parkrun too. There were detailed instructions of how to get in on arrival. Well, that all looks jolly straight forward, hurrah!

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Teensy problem, on arrival, in the pitch dark, it seemed a somewhat sinister location. Think atmospheric film set for some sort of dark, edgy thriller. Nobody is coming out of this alive. Graffiti daubed buildings, and huge thick inpenetrable doors with grids and brutalist overtones. If I’d been on my own I’d have cried and wet myself. Getting in, was a challenge worthy of any escape room. There was a code by the intercom, but in the dark it was nigh on impossible to read, and it took several attempts before we made our way through the door…

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… and into a freezing hallway which seemed like we’d entered a parallel universe and found ourselves in a long derelict building in a different time zone. I couldn’t fathom if it was times long gone or a future age where all that remained of once grand buildings were screaming ghosts and half formed memories. Never mind, it would be fine. There seemed to be loads of keysafes at every doorway we came to, we tried our second code on each ane every one. Nothing. Zip. Just endlessly rolling numbers like a broken one armed bandit. This did not bode well

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We staggered to the end of the hall, and to yet another door Passing through and found ourselves in a sort of hidden courtyard. Hurrah, surely this must be where we were supposed to be. A huge rusted iron spiral staircase towered up one side, abandoned bikes chained to it’s base. It was atmospheric, but unnerving. We found the next door ajar and entering went up some steps. More key safes. It was like trying to find the holy grail in amongst all those storage containers at the end of whichever Indiana Jones film that was! We found a door that looked like it should be ours, but no means of entry. We scurried up and down stairs and passages trying the entry codes everywhere but to no avail. I stepped back a bit and watched the adventure unfold. Not sure what I could offer in the way of practical assistance, I went for the keeping out of the way option. After all, a wise woman once said ‘it’s not helpful unless you are actual helping‘. I have found this to be good advice, too often unheaded! As I was gazing about, I espied a further hidden keysafe we hadn’t yet tried. Why would we, it was adjacent to a completely different door to the one we actually wanted to enter. I punched in the code without saying a word, after all, what were the chances I’d be lucky where so many before me (well, three to be precise) had repeatedly failed? Well dear reader. You won’t believe this only you better had… it was like Arthur removing the sword in the stone, there was a distinctive clunk and the key toppled from its hiding place into my hand! I felt like an absolute conquering hero. Of course it was unadulterated genius on my part, and not at all an accident of fate.

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Not gonna lie, a bit of a collective sigh of relief too. We were tired from our travels, and it was just borderline getting to the not actually very funny any more stage. Phew, we were in!

Oh wow, it was like entering another world. The apartment was properly amazing. Boiling hot, immaculately clean and extremely well fitted out. Fancy furnishings, including a weird feathered light fitting thing. Oooh, this was a proper adventure. Honestly, if I’d been coming alone I’d have played it safe and gone for a hotel, but this atmospheric, beautifully equipped apartment, now we were actually safely in, was way nicer and a lot more fun. Hurrah! Almost a shame we’d hardly be in it. There was one room with two double beds, a further room with just one double bed and then the living room had a sofa which opened up into a small dble/ large single. Well lush. So cosy as well, I couldn’t believe how much heat was blasting out. I could totally live here, at least until spring anyway.

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We explored the flat, oohed and aahed over all the soft furnishings, divied up the rooms – I got one to myself #livingtheantisocialdream and then after some generic faffery, we opted to head out for the evening for some gentle exploring. None of us wanted a late night, but we did want to explore a little and get something to eat.

We headed down the stairs, and were spat out of our spooky looking apartment onto the icy streets – after we’d worked out how to get out of that huge door again. This was even harder than getting in, did survivalist preppers work out the entry system for this building I wonder? I had to pinch myself at being actually in Poland. The walk was brief, we passed by some cannabis shops – is that legal here then? ‘Medical’ CBD presumably is – and nearby was a marijuana light variant on offer, presumably for any weight watchers out there.

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When we arrived at the main touristy old square it was gorgeous. Stunning architecture surrounded the square. The outer areas of the square were filled with brightly lit outdoor covered restaurants with surrounding greenery making it look positively christmassy. As we walked along we were greeted by various people trying to entice us in. It was clearly very touristy, but you know what we were tourists and it was very nice. We eventually did pick one and pile in and tried dumplings which were properly amazing mushroom filled morsels of delight. The veggie options weren’t brilliant, but the soup I had, mushroom, served in a bowl carved out of lovely bread, the ultimately comfort food. Lovely. Periodically, blanket covered tourists taking rides in the back of horse drawn carriages clip clopped past – the horses, not the tourists. It was all very atmospheric. We wandered back, gazing in awe at the towering basillica and other extraordinary buildings that surrounded us, I had no idea that it was such an impressive city. My bad.

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We were happy bunnies indeed.

Back to our temporary home, and then it was but one more sleep before it was actual international parkrun day. What’s more, it would come around even more quickly than usual, because the clocks had all jumped forward an hour. I know, this was the trip that kept on giving!

So we went to bed, and then we woke up and it was PARKRUNDAY!

It was an early start, but we were all super excited and bouncing about in our matchy matchy outfits in good time. We fell out into the street, admiring our digs in daylight, and onto the pavement outside awaiting our second uber of the trip. The Happy Huddersfield trio took the opportunity to do quite a major workout to keep warm. Surely this would have more than made up for missing out on the parkrun Zumba for this week. This Uber to parkrun was £7.25. Bargain.

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It’s weird being driven about and not knowing where you are going, we ended up being dropped off near a load of high rise flats in the most unpromising of locations but uh, ok. Quick snoop about and then, OMG a parkrun flag. This is really happening now. SO EXCITING!

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By the way, have you noticed our matchy matchy apricot parkrun tops to go with our matchy matchy llama leggings? It just seemed appropriate for our journeying to wear ones from our home parkruns in the UK. One of our number was sad because she had got jam on her apricot tee and it was now stained. However, turns out – get this – it is actually stained with jam that landed on her top whilst at the parkrun ambassadors’ conference last year, so it is in fact parkrun ambassadorial jam, quite probably parkrun ambassadorial apricot jam to boot, so if anything, that enhances her top rather than detracts from it. It’s practically a sacred artifact now, certainly iconic. She should probably frame it for safekeeping, but having said this, I was super excited to get to see that parkrun tee for myself. Sigh, it’s basically like being anointed with apricot jam, very special indeed. And doesnt the high vis and Run Director wonky bear set it off beautifully? Hurrah!

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We couldn’t scurry our way down to the park quickly enough. Soon we were greeted by the sight of an arched erm – well I guess ‘amphitheater’. They had a similar one when I went to Hasenheide parkrun in Berlin, I’d never seen such a structure before, but maybe they are a think in this part of the world. A huge stage with a sweeping arch of heavily graffitied concrete at the back and sides creating shelter of sorts in a brutalist way. The back drop was of bare black trees and the remnants of snow, giving the space a sort of monochrome look. However, as is the parkrun way, little figures in high vis, burdened with cones and signs were busying themselves about the park getting the course set up.

We were actually, properly here! I thought I might burst. I never really thought this day would come! We were pretty early, and knowing overseas parkruns often operate on a ‘just in time principle‘ in relation to turning up, it was impressive to see such activity early on. We were all massively over excited. Imagine a small child on a sugar and food colouring high who has just snorted a line of caffeine and sherbet and bounced around on a trampoline. Got that? Well, that was nothing compared to how excited we were, you need to multiply that by a gazillion and then quadruple it, because the energy and excitement sparked between us like electricity pylons, still live, falling into water. Nobody in the world has ever been more excited than we four this morning. And I’m including when I got a high five from Harry Gration at the start of the Sheffield Half Marathon one year. I know. That excited. Hard to believe. Scary perhaps too, but true!

After a little hesitation, partly due to ice and snow, we scampered down a little slope to the amphitheatre area. Oh my, so many things. Same but different. The lovingly laid out finish line with tape. An actual parkrun urn! Sweet treats as well. A selfie sign, welcoming volunteers. Oh, and signs, so many customised signs to explore. We were warmly greeted by a lovely volunteer who apologised that as we were early their official translator hadn’t yet appeared. She did this in perfect English pretty much. I never even learned to say ‘thank you’ in Polish. It is both handy and mortifying, that for the most part, those we met had near perfect English. I felt shamed at my inability to speak only English, and frankly that often eludes me in times of need. The absence of the interpreter did not stop play. We launched ourselves into photo taken, high vis grabbing and selfie posing. Just like every parkrun everywhere!

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This was beyond excellent, but wait there’s more. Check out the signs, each a new cause of delight and celebration, but one in particular delighted me beyond all the rest. Here be squirrels, not just grey squirrels but actual red ones. If I could see one of them it would be the cherry on the icing on the cake, but surely too much to hope for. Still, no harm in doing some posing. Then we did posing with the volunteers. Then more tourists arrived, I think it ended up about half tourists from the UK and half authentic Polish parkrunners. Some had come on public transport without difficulty, and one couple had also had a bit of a performance getting into their pre booked apartment. Perhaps it is some sort of informal initiation ceremony or rite of passage for incoming tourists? Then our interpreter arrived, a junior with a huge enthusiasm for speaking English and coming to England one day and using an oyster card and travelling on the tube. I wonder why an oyster card is such a cause of fascination, I was kicking myself for not having brought one with me. I had one in my wallet but discarded it as unnecessary to take to Poland so nearly did have one to pass on. It was amazing to have someone to explain and interpret. The welcome was just extraordinary. I think the team may have been a bit bewildered as to why we were all coming over – especially as right now it is winter so in their eyes not massively appealing (in our eyes, there be snow and it be cheap) but they were so up for it. Could not have been more warm and accommodating. They joined in the posing and photographing too. All possible variations were snapped I think before we were done. Here we go, feast your eyes on these shenanagins:

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The sun was out, our hearts were full. The ground was packed with ice. We were told again that this was the toughest parkrun in all of Poland, I was struggling to believe this. I think they must have meant in relation to elevation, but the park seemed pretty flat. For us Yorkshire lasses it takes more than a bit of an upward flat section to scare us – that ice though, the Event Director amongst us remarked she’d have had no hesitation cancelling with similar conditions at home. Lucky for us she was tail walker and not RD here today!

We had a bit of a confab about what to do with the parkrun book, magazine and parkrun lanyards. We’d assumed we’d pass them on to the event RD but we weren’t sure where he was. Also, we didn’t know who it was who’d sent the cheery communications in advance. Oh the angst of it. In the end, we decided to pass them on to the lovely woman who had made us so welcome at the outset. Communication was a bit random, but she was super chuffed to receive the book on behalf of her parkrun. I’m not sure how they’ll share it around, or whether it will be launched round Poland as the original book did for Eileen’s bookrun relay, first during the pandemic a tag team delivered it from her home in the Lakes to PSH himself in Bushy park. Then other books have been journeying around the uk, it’s rather grand. You know what though, it doesn’t matter, it was just brilliant to have thought to bring something. Granted, part of the reason I thought to do so was because of the spectacular fail at Amager Straandpark parkrun where only one of the hundreds of visiting tourists had thought to bring a gift, and it seemed such a great gesture. Anyway, it was well received and again photos! We all inscribed the front cover, along with our parkrun id numbers. One of us, not me, had the simply brilliant idea of transcribing the polish for Caution Runners from their parkrun sign and adding ‘English’ in between. Creative genius she is.

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Wait though, there is a follow up for this, I let Eileen know about how I’d passed on my copy of the book whilst in Poland and how well that had been received, and she was so thrilled we not only made her bookrun relay Facebook page (that’s twice we’ve been Facebook famous in just one weekend) but also sent me a new inscribed copy all of my own. I was beyond thrilled. I’d resigned myself to having to buy a new copy but now I have one anyway AND it’s especially for me. Hurrah. I do feel like I ought to have a whole boxload of them, to distribute when touristing. So well received. Maybe I can stockpile the parkrun magazine instead, there are still copies kicking around and they weren’t produced outside of the UK as far as I’m aware. Anyway, check this out – the pic with all the inscriptions from parkrunners is especially cool:

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Are you still here? Oh good, I thought you might have given up on me with all this faffing before we even get to the run fun director’s briefing. Few basics. I don’t think there were any loos, we went just before coming and were ok, thankfully. There is a trolly in which you can leave your bits and pieces and which is also the start and finish area so feels pretty safe, there are always volunteers there. Arrive with time to take lots of photos. Expect to be welcomed with sweet and coffee. I was too worried about needing a pee to take advantage of this but it is a lovely tradition. It is a small parkrun in numbers although as has already been demonstrated it has a big heart. When we were there there were plenty of parkrunners around who could communicate in excellent English so it’s not a big culture shock. Having said that, the real beauty of parkrun internationally, is that you can rock up at a new event, and because it operates more or less the same way at every location – barring a few bits of personalisation and charming quirks that make each venue unique – you don’t need to worry too much about not understanding everything, as long as you have your barcode and aren’t expecting to be first finisher (I wasn’t) you’ll be reyt. There is some elevation, but not so as you’d notice by Yorkshire standards, the snow and ice though was a challenge. The field of participants was small, and to be honest, the regular Zielona Jar parkrunners were more the sporty athletic types who lead the field at UK events. They were definitely serious runners. Very friendly, but I don’t know quite what they made of a quartet of slightly hysterical middle aged women arriving, three ‘just’ to walk and one to go for it with more gusto. We made up the tailwalking/ parkwalking team between us, sort of marshaling each other.

After a bit we had the RD briefing/ first timers’ briefing. Our interpreter whispered his translation specially for the British/ English speaking tourists. The book got a shout out. We were told it was 4 and a bit laps. We were reminded it was the toughest parkrun in all of Poland.

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We gathered at the start, and soon we were off!

The fearless locals sprinted ahead, compacted ice and snow hold no fear for them. I was stomping along at the back, still in awe of actually being there, and wanting to inhale each and every moment. The course I found a little confusing, but not sure why. There was only one marshal, all the volunteers had multiple roles – so the interpreter was also time keeper and scanner too I think, and the person who received the book, set up the course and took lots of photos, also was the marshal on course. Small but might team here. The course was well signed, as as a four and a bit lapper, other parkrunners pass you which was jolly. It is a little pocket park of sorts, the trees against the snow looked impressive and gave it a more wild feel than you might expect from the urban surrounds. Food had been put out for birds, of which there were many. Snow on the ground was atmospheric, ice on the paths was scary. Weirdly you run past what are essentially corner shops, which were shut when we first arrived, but had clothing and cabbage displays outside as they started opening up around the time the parkrun began. There was so much to look at, it was all very distracting. A friendly vibe. We made slow progress, but in our defence, we kept being distracted by exciting things. There was the turn around point where we met up with our actually running Huddersfield parkrunner, and all the things.

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You know what, it was just like a ‘normal’ parkrun, except we were in POLAND!

The first lap I started heading towards the finish area as I’d assumed we ran past that each time but no! I was shooed away, ‘it’s a four lap course’ they called out to me. Not mistaking me for first finisher then. The second lap we were really delayed though because, guess what we say. Only ACTUAL RED SQUIRRELS. OMG I nearly wet myself I was so excited. They are super cute. I love my chunky grey squirrels at home, but there is no disputing the delicate beauty of these tufty rodents. Although ‘red’ they were so dark, they looked almost black.

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As we passed at the end of our second lap, I was trying to communicate about having seen the squirrels and there was some crossed communication meaning that my enthusiasm for what I’d seen was taken as confirmation that we were embarking on our last lap. We weren’t. Oops.

There were consequences from this, as we came round again, they tried to call us to the finish, and we had to persuade them we knew we still had another lap to go. Not gonna lie, they were a bit uncomprehending about this ‘that’s impossible’ came the shout back. I don’t think they are used to walkers being so slow. They weren’t being stroppy, but just concerned we were going wrong on the course and further than we needed too. I think with their regular participants being very much runners rather than walkers they couldn’t entirely compute our speeds. Still, all good natured. Especially as by now they were pretty cold and we’d got their hopes up that we were nearly finished earlier on. All my bad. Oh the shame!

Off we went round again. We met a confused marshal who was mid course take down and completely mortified when she realised we were still out there. It was fine, we knew the way and I knew it was me who’d created the misunderstanding in the first place. Honestly, you can’t take me anywhere! Then again, if it weren’t for me finding the keys, we’d still be stood outside that apartment block, trapped in limbo and by now definitely needing the loo, so swings and roundabouts eh. Also, others stood as human cones to guide the way for our final lap. It was all exceedingly jolly and joyful! What larks eh.

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The last lap though – or was it the penultimate one? Actually, I have no idea, it’s all a bit of a blur, all that running round in circles I expect, and gazing about. But, those of us who were chootling (chatty pootling) at the back saw the most amazing thing ever. This image will be seared on the back of my eyeballs for ever. It is the stand out extraordinary sight from this Polish parkrun, the funniest thing I’ve ever seen bar none! This dog though. Had to be seen to be believed. Here the pictures have to do the talking, words cannot convey nor reproduce the impact! Those little feet though, in their little shiny shoes. Poor pooch! I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so I did both. If ever you need taking out of yourself, just save these pictures to go back and look at from time to time. I defy anyone not to be distracted from their darkest thoughts by this extraordinary sight!

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and finally, back through the finish to great cheers of relief as much as respect, to be timed and scanned and welcomed home. Job done!

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Weirdly, it felt a bit sad finishing, I’m really suffering from separation anxiety at present, maybe I’ll grow out of it one day. The core team busied themselves putting stuff away. And it was time to wave goodbye.

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Pretty much everyone else had dispersed at this point which is their bad because they missed out on more fun things.

Specifically, snow angels! I couldn’t be surrounded by so much snow and not indulge. Our interpreter was making his way home across the park and accompanied us on our search for the perfect spot. He waved goodbye and we espied a bank. It maybe wasn’t my brightest idea to get myself up there, but it was one of my funnest. I did my best in the snow, which was a bit too compacted for full effect, but you get the gist I’m sure. On reflection, possibly should have got my agent to veto the less than flattering angles, but all the best human self expression requires you to give of yourself utterly. Why not my snow angel as well?

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And then it really was time to go home. An uber back to our apartment cost but £6.50. Crazily cheap, but confusingly differently priced. We were back in not time and trundled into the apartment to change before heading out again for post parkrun breakfast. Turns out, it was just as hard getting into our apartment in daylight as it was in the dark, but we managed. We headed off to a coffee shop at the end of the road we’d spotted the day before. Red Ted was somewhat shocked by some of the street ornamentations…

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The breakfast we ha was pretty sensational, excellent coffee and huge breakfast portions. Hilariously – for us, not for him – there was another uk visitor in the queue in front of us ‘have you been to parkrun?’ he enquired. ‘why yes!‘ we chorused with enthusiasm, ‘how about you?’. Poor guy, he’d come all the way to Krakow with his family, was a keen parkrunner and just hadn’t thought it would be doable to combine the trip with a parkrun. He looked a bit crushed as we were the personification of what might have been. So near and yet so far. I guess he’ll just have to come back. To be fair, I’d like to come back again as well, so not too much of a hardship.

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They really know how to do a toastie, pretty much a scooby snack in truth, and all the better for it!

And that was that, parkfaffery concluded. For now.

Oh, and I nearly forgot one of the other best bits from doing a Polish parkrun – you get your results email and ‘thank you for volunteering’ emails in Polish! Well of course you do, it being in Poland and all, but it sort of added to the thrill of the adventure. Hope you get a new language in your parkrun results emails one day too!

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You can as always continue your parkrun pondering if you wish by browsing through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though and forward for more recent ones.

It was not of course the end of our Krakow adventure, but I won’t go into that here and now. What I will say is that we loved exploring the city on foot. We did take a tour out to Auschwitz and Birkenau on the Sunday. Of course that was a complete change of mood, and difficult though important to include.

We found the castle, the cathedral but alas no dragons. I lost my favourite hat in a coffee shop, but mercifully it was still there where I’d left it the next day, which whilst reflecting badly on the attention to detail there cleaning wise, was a joyous reuniting for me.

Get yourself to Poland. It really was the most extraordinary trip. It felt like we’d been away for ages, but really it was just within a weekend. It was fun connecting with new people, and of course it was nice to bagsy a Z, yet ultimately, if it were not for parkrun I’d probably never have got around to visiting Poland and taking the sobering trip out to Auschwitz either. parkrun tourism might provide the catalyst to go exploring, but the ripples from such adventuring go so very much wider.

Thanks so much to the Polish parkrunners for welcoming us with such enthusiasm, I hope so much they make it over to the UK one day and experience similar hospitality, they certainly deserve it and some. Thank you too my Huddersfield buddies for letting me gatecrash your parkrun voyaging, it was The Best. Special thanks to the taxi driver who did a kiss and fly drop off for us on the journey home. Lovely touch!

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Here’s to future adventures.

meantime, here’s a smorgasbord of snaps just to whet your appetite…

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You’re welcome 🙂

Thanks for staying the course.

Well Babbs was Well Banging! Babbs Mill parkrun #111 – another nanoparkun!

You may find I have quite a bit to waffle on about from this particular Saturday … those of you who know will know (nom, nom, nom etc), and those of you who don’t will soon 🙂 !

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To be fair, why wouldn’t you want to go to a parkrun known as Babbs Mill, no excuse needed, it’s such a brilliant name! It has a sort of snigger inducing ring to it. Like when small children shriek with hilarity on hearing the word bottom. I have personal experience of this, when doing the warm up at junior parkrun I encourage participants to try to kick their own bottoms with the heels of their feet – not anybody else’s, obvs – and the delighted laughter this instruction unleashes every time gives me a brief moment of believing I’m a comic genius. It’s glorious. There is something about the ring of the name ‘Babbs Mill’ that has the same effect on me. I’m not even quite sure why. It’s not even a euphemism as such, though it should be. It feels apt for the midlands as it sounds like the Birmingham term of endearment ‘Bab’ sort of like saying ‘hun’ or ‘babe’. Though please don’t call me either of those things unless it’s due to regional dialect. I find ‘duck’ or even ‘love’ absolutely fine. and being called ‘hen’ is positively melting in the right context, but it’s a nope to use ‘babe’ or ‘girl’ in reference to me. Just to be clear, it’s fine to use ‘babe’ in reference to an actual babe or Babe the Sheep Pig (obvs) and ‘girl’ in reference to an actual girl. In Birmingham, to be referred to as Bab would be fine too, almost like acceptance. Glad we’ve cleared that up.

I’m on a Nelson Roll it seems (not to be confused with a Nelson Breadcake; a Nelson Teacake; a Neslon Bap; a Nelson Cob; a Nelson Bun; a Nelson Batch; a Nelson Barm Cake; Nelson Muffin or even a Half Nelson). Remember how I said I wasn’t that fussed about the parkrun number based challenges? No? That’s good. I do hate being caught out.

So, having outed myself as knocking off a few Nelsons of late, partly by opportunistic chance at Concord parkrun #555 and then by a bit of enlightened forward planning at Hillsborough parkrun #444, I was offered the chance to join a local(ish) parkrun ambassador who has similarly started to eye up these nano (Nab A Nelson Opportunity) parkruns, seemingly ‘suddenly’ popping up all over the place. Including, most helpfully, some within reach of Sheffield. There is in fact a numbers predictor spreadsheet for parkrun out and about, which is brilliant and terrifying in equal measure. I would have carried on with maths and indeed taken spreadsheets very much more seriously if I’d known they could be such a game changer, parkrun wise. A worm hole of numerical joy, who knew? Keith BENNETT, creator of the same is a creative genius. I wonder how far the ripples from his creation have spread out. It’s certainly encouraged me to look at how I choose my parkrun destinations differently.

Anyway, back to me and my local parkrun ambassador and his other half, both of who I have come to know through volunteering all together at Sheffield Olympic Legacy Park junior parkrun. They had already planned to set forth to go to Solihull for the Babbs Mill parkrun 111 event, and kindly offered me a lift. Well, would have been rude not to galumph along with them given the invite. Hang on, I’ll see if I can find any pics of us all together at juniors – we had a hoot on Sunday last, it was our 100th event #lovejuniorparkrun – ok, so not one of us altogether it seems (note to self, serious omission, will attempt to rectify that shortly) but plenty of us and the event in general to give you the idea:

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FYI, let me tell you dear reader, being offered a lift to a Nelson event is basically living the dream parkrun tourism wise. This has to be the way forward. You just rock up at some other person’s house and get chauffeur driven to your parkrun destination in style. What’s not to like? Rhetorical question dear reader, nothing whatsoever, it is a quite brilliant plan. Thank you parkrun buddies for your outstanding facilitation, as well as company. What an excellent parkrun adventuring morning we had. Just wait ’til you hear about the post parkrun faffery, you will be super impressed!

Where to start then, erm, how about some basic factoids. According to the Babbs Mill parkrun official website blah de blah:

The course is at Babbs Mill Local Nature Reserve, Kingshurst. The course is run on a mixture of tarmac paths and grass, paths can be narrow at certain points.

Course Description: The course starts on a tarmac path along the River Cole. After passing a playground on the right, turn left and cross over the bridge and then turn right. Continue along the path until you come across the open field on the left. Complete a circuit of the field and re-join the path going clockwise around the lake. Cross the car park and then follow the path back to the bridge. Cross the bridge and complete a 2nd identical lap. Next time upon reaching the bridge, continue straight on the path back to the finish line.

Please note: this parkrun may not be suitable for pushchairs due to the narrow and uneven surfaces. Please either visit the park or contact the event team who will be happy to discuss the course with you so you can make your own assessment.

Facilities: There is a café in the KEC church on Cooks Lane, opposite the park entrance*. This is open between 9:30am – 11:00am.

Car parking is at Tudor Grange Academy Kingshurst, Cooks Lane, Kingshurst, Solihull, B37 6NU.

*note, serious underselling of Church café here, it’s a destination in its own right. More of this later.

and it looks like this:

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Yep, there is an actual Babb’s Mill too. That Babb’s gets an appropriately placed apostrophe, but – TRIGGER WARNING – the Babbs Mill Lake and parkrun seemingly do not. Though one of the notice boards did include an apostrophe in the name. So confusing! Perhaps this is a parkrun best avoided by any former members of the now disbanded ‘Apostrophe Protection Society‘ it might just cause them to implode, and frankly they have suffered enough. That’s not to say they wouldn’t be welcome, parkrun is always inclusive and of course they would be greeted with open arm’s. Its’ jus’t that it might all be jus’t too much for them to bear. That’s ok, we all mus’t do what we must for our own mental health and well being after all. However, I do feel a quick heads’ up is appropriate for tho’se impacted by ‘such thing’s. Your welcome.

And some parkrunpedia, by way of edutainment:

According to the Solihull.gov website ‘Babbs Mill Park was created in 1977 to commemorate the Silver Jubilee of HM Queen Elizabeth II. A haven for wildlife, it was recognised as a Local Nature Reserve in 2002‘ It’s a completely manmade lake which is quite extraordinary when you come to see it. It has it’s own Wikipedia page too. Which, excitingly, gives parkrun an actual mention, though not why Babbs Mill is called Babbs Mill, though it does give the giddying possibility that at one stage the parkrun might have been named Kingfisher or even Kingshurst parkrun. All the Kings. Good for any card based running challenges out there. It also explains the random houses you pass on the way round, that do seem a bit out of keeping, though great location for those lucky enough to live in one of them.

Babbs Mill Lake, sometimes called Kingshurst Lake, is a man-made lake in the Kingfisher Country Park in Kingshurst, Solihull in England. The lake was created as a balancing feature in times of flooding from the nearby River Cole.

History – The lake gives its name to Babbs Mill Park, created to commemorate the Silver Jubilee of Queen Elizabeth II in 1977. It was designated a Local Nature Reserve in 2002. In March 2016, Solihull Council’s planning committee approved a scheme to build 52 houses on land amounting to approximately seven per cent of the reserve.

Since August 2019, Babbs Mill Lake has hosted a parkrun, a free, weekly timed 5 km run/walk, every Saturday morning at 9am.

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I’m going to assume that Babbs was a person. Of course, now I come to think of it there are many famous Babbs. A cursory search of the interweb reminds me that there was ‘Ken Babbs – a famous Merry Prankster who became one of the psychedelic leaders of the 1960s. He along with best friend and Prankster leader, Ken Kesey wrote the book Last Go Round.‘ I know, was on the tip of your tongue. How wonderful to be immortalised as a ‘merry prankster’, there are worse epitaphs. If not he, then surely you will know of ‘Speedy Babbs was a pioneering stunt motorcyclist who was famous for riding his “Globe of Death” at fairs and carnivals across America from the 1930s through the 1960s. Babbs performed his act into his 60s‘ In 1999 he was inducted into the AMA Motorcycle Museum Hall of Fame ‘where heroes live on’ so that’s good. He was a wing walker and stunt parachutist too if the globe of death isn’t impressive enough for you. I really want to do a wing walk one day, but it’s very expensive, though there is a place near York where you can do that. One day. And then there is of course ‘Keedie Green (née Babb, 21 October 1982, Wolverhampton) … a British classical crossover soprano[1] with a vocal range of three octaves, reaching a top A above a top E’ Accomplished lot these Babbs apparently. AccordingtoWikipediasoitmustbetrue ‘Babb is surname of mostly English origin which has been documented as far back as 1322 in Devon County, England.[1] While the name appears to have originated in the Devon area, Y-DNA Genetic testing has revealed a number of distinct lineages throughout various parts of England. The surname also appears in the Bavaria state of Germany. Y-DNA Genetic testing has confirmed that this Bavarian line does not relate to the Babbs of England.’ Oh, and it has since been pointed out to me that the most famous of Babbs is of course Barbara Windsor! Which of course my explain my Pavlovian snigger response to the word – a product of the comedy of her time, she is forever associated with the possession of a double entendre.

And in more *stop press* news, a kind soul has now enlightened me as to the original Babbster. It was apparently John Babb , a Miller who used to live at Babb’s Mill cottage. That makes a lot of sense. I also now know the parkrunpedia faction that whilst the parkrun is in Solihull but Babb’s Mill itself is in Birmingham. Love a bit of Facebook feedback. Thank you Babbs Mill parkrun people for the extra info. You are the best!

Personally I’ve never met anyone with the surname Babb or Babbs, but I have just had a looksie in the parkrun results for the UK and found…. drum roll… there are loads of Babb and Babbsies, who knew? Apart from those blessed with the name itself. None were running at Babbs Mill parkrun for even #111 though, which is somewhat disappointing, maybe you’ll get lucky if you go. If it was done to me I’d try to connect all those Babbettes and get them to Babbs Mill on the same day – OMG people, 21st October 2023 is an actual Saturday, parkrunday, AND the birthday of Keedie Babb who only lives in Wolverhampton, that’s totally the day to do it! There must be a Babb out there who can channel their inner star trek meme and ‘Make it so’. And FYI, there are two people called John BABB and one John Babbidge registered, one of them is bound to be a miller. If so, I think they’d have to if not be the actual RD, at least start the parkrun, it’s going to be such a grand event!

Even if they don’t all get to go to Babbs Mill parkrun one day, you most certainly should, it’s a properly lovely space! I stole this photo from the Babbs Mill parkrun Facebook page, you can’t blame me though can you, not so much ‘stealing’ more ‘sharing’ – people need to know!

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Shamefully perhaps, I hadn’t researched any of this in advance, the offer of a lift to a new-to-me event and a Nelson was more than enough to entice me. I have to face the truth, it’s like if someone set up an X initialled parkrun that was 500 laps of a multi storey I have to admit I’d probably rock up there. I may be shallow, but I know my buttons. Anyway, the choosing might be on peripheral attributes, but the challenges in general do encourage seeking out places and people you might never otherwise have reason to encounter. And you know what, I am so very glad I made it to Babbs Mill parkrun, because, turns out, this is a pretty extraordinary and wild space, despite being a less than promising location on the approach.

On a more sombre note, what I had forgotten until arriving at the park, was why the name seemed so familiar to me. Alas, it is because in December last year, three boys drowned in the Lake here after falling through ice, with a fourth dying later in hospital. It was a big news story nationwide at the time, and for the local community must still feel very raw. The parkrun was cancelled in the weeks following, up to and including on Christmas Day, but restarted earlier this year. It’s a tough call. I can understand people potentially feeling uncomfortable about attending a parkrun in this space given its association with such terrible events. For myself though, I feel that filling such community parks with more positive memories and encouraging people to come together can only be a good thing. I don’t doubt all parkrun venues will have witnessed awful things over their histories, but perhaps we should not let the worst thing to happen in a space define it in perpetuity. However, this is very recent history. it is worth being sensitive to the impact of these events these deaths. Remembering the lost boys is important, and the floral tributes in abundance make it clear that their memory is very much to the fore. I feel I can’t write up an account of our visit without acknowledging all of this context. I made a point of taking a moment to absorb where we were, reflect on what had happened, and then focused on my parkrun. Reclaiming the space and allowing the community to come together to heal seems the right course for me, but you do you. Notice the flowers though. I’m not keen on floral tributes as dead flowers make me sad, but I get the need for people to do something to express solidarity and sympathy with those impacted by what has happened, and the visible offerings certainly shows the sense of shared loss the area is experiencing.

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Tributes to the lost boys

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Take a moment. And breathe.

Back to parkrun, and to the big event.

And a big event was anticipated indeed. I don’t know if it’s just that I’ve suddenly noticed Nelson so to speak, or if it really is becoming a bit more of a thing. Either way, Babbs Mill parkrun was bracing itself for a biggie!

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There are plenty of versions as to why a 111 (or multiple thereof) is a Nelson, he never actually lost a leg though did he? But then why let the truth get in the way of a good story eh. Quite. I don’t particularly care, just want to nab one, and wish I’d thought to wear a fancy admiral hat, though I did walk with a stick, so that makes me a three legger or possibly a one one one in my own right. Like Jake the Pake (with an extra leg) but without the unfortunate Rolf Harris associations…

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Point is, they were expecting a larger crowd than usual, though they do have form for that. They had a big jump in numbers when the Running Show was on as many down for that took the opportunity to gather at Babbs. Check out the vlog from Danni Runs for more about that. They had 352 finishers that day, compared with their average finish numbers of about 108.1 – which is tantalisingly close to 111 I think we can agree. Only need another 2.9 average finishers to bump it up. This week, the numbers were raised again, but to 153, still nearly double the previous week though. Oh, and fyi, at event 101 there were exactly 111 finishers, which pleases me, a splendid two palindromes right there! There were also exactly 111 finishers at event #84, but that is a somewhat less inspiring number combination for me, although I do recall that in 1984 was a turbulent year politically, I seemed to go on lots of demonstrations. Supporting miners, protesting at other things. It was also the year of the Brighton bombing at the Tory party conference, the year Thomas the Tank Engine was first broadcast and that Geneticist Alec Jeffreys discovers DNA fingerprinting apparently. Band Aid happened this year, and discussions began re the return of Hong Kong to China. Oh and the last episode of The Young Ones was broadcast on tv – although as far as I’m aware those two happenings are unrelated. This makes me think actually was quite an extraordinary year for me in terms of my personal and political awakening, but it wasn’t an especially fun one. I also now feel really old, as I realise my formative years are now part of a younger generation’s distant history. 1984 must seem as distant to them as 1948 does to me. Oh Lordy, I believe I even had a perm, though in my defence I also had purple hair for part of the eighties. Can you still get Crazy Colour, that was truly fabulous! Blimey this was pre interweb even. And when you had to find places using physical maps or by asking directions, and we didn’t even have a landline in the house yet alone a mobile phone! I don’t just feel old, I feel really old. Oh well, lucky I’ve still got a hobby eh, given my extreme ancientness and ever approaching decrepitude. parkrun will keep me eternally young or your money back right? I think that’s how it goes. Lucky I didn’t disappear down a wormhole of recalling 1984 and just stuck with the palindrome thing eh.

Although, wasn’t room 101 from the book 1984? Spooky. See how all numbers can be linked? Yep, just checked, it was ‘Room 101, located in the Ministry of Love, is the room where prisoners are sent to be confronted by their deepest fear.’ So for me, on Saturday, that would be oversleeping and missing my appointment with parkrun… Just to illustrate the point, shudder. For Winston in 1984 it was rats, for Indiana Jones, snakes I believe.

Anyway, stop distracting me with all these questions about 1984 and 101 and 111 or we’ll never make the parkrun start line. Where was I? Oh yes, adding to the numbers of participants nabbing a Nelson at Babbs Mill. Part of the parkrun crowd would be we three, meeting again. Now where have I heard a variation on that phrase before I wonder? Nope, it entirely escapes me.

Our meeting up on parkrun day began with my lying awake all night fearful of oversleeping and somewhat wired. I’d had a really good – but full on – week, doing some filming over in Manchester which was just joyful. I can’t tell you anything about it or I’d have to kill you, but it was affirming and I came away with anecdotes (albeit secret ones); a very nice vintage tea cake recipe book; top tips on vegan cake baking; a wider network and I met an actual hand doubling super star. I know. The circles I move in, I get why some might be well jel, to use the funky youth speak. And the head of wardrobe loved my charity shop jacket, so I felt vindicated in my impulse buying splurge in the interests of extending my costuming repertoire. Phew. Eventually, the actual alarm went off and I was up and out the door. It was a dry day, perfect driving conditions, and it was an easy drive over Chesterfield way to pick up my lift. It was dark, but quiet, and I felt really good about the day ahead. I was a bit early, because I always panic about being late, and was somewhat discombobulated to find their house in darkness, was it the right one? It was, the lights were soon on and the door opened and I was welcomed in. Then off we went to Solihull.

Long drives to parkrun are sooooo much easier when you are just the deadweight absolved of all responsibility in the back of the car. The vehicle eased through the miles with a smooth and silent ride, and we talked all things parkrun as we went. We arrived at the parkrun venue in good time, and saw the start pop up sign and various cones up and high vis heroes busying themselves around the park. There was a smallish carpark near to the start, but we were in search of a precautionary pee point. This was another big win for me, travelling companions who view this as a necessity not an optional extra, it wasn’t just me longingly gazing through the windows in search of a suitable venue for a pit stop! The downside, was that we ended up in McDonalds, somewhere I try never to cross the threshold into. We only nipped in to use the facilities and for that I was grateful. They were immaculate, no queues and parking outside, and in an age where there just aren’t public loos to be found any more, I am grateful for that. And we didn’t have to buy anything either, so good to know. It was I think about a mile away from the parkrun.

En route to the McDonalds, we passed the suggested parking for the parkrun, but we chanced the small carpark as we returned, no joy, but worth a looksie. We headed back from whence we came, and espied a solitary space behind a van just around the corner. Another parkrun tourist emerged and we mutually congratulated ourselves on our good fortune and swapped tourist tales as we walked over the road to the starting line up. Everything was going perfectly!

The sun was shining, the atmosphere was buzzing, the locals were friendly, the tourists were plentiful! I love a bit of parkrun tourism, and it is definitely more fun if you can do it with others.

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After a bit of exploration and faffery, we were summoned for the first timers’ welcome. It was a jolly affair, with an actual map, and much encouragement. There were some actual genuine first time everers which always heartens me. I can’t remember if it was this briefing or the RDs one where there was a suggestion that really all the marshals should be standing on one leg throughout in acknowledgement of the event number. It’s a cricketing thing again apparently – actually, it might have been on Facebook, but you get the idea. Yep it was on the Facebook post letting everyone know the naval hats were optional, and it was umpires who had to stand on one leg when the score was 111 it seems, so that would suggest RD rather than marshal, but I’d make both hopping around on one leg and wearing naval hats compulsory if it was down to me. Oh well, don’t want to undermine the core team, they did a grand job overall, just needed to hold their nerve a bit more apropos of the fancy dress.

Oh, and we were warned about the main hazard for the event which is early on, where there is a concrete bollard in the middle of the path. It had it’s own cone though, so unless you had a visual impairment it was pretty clearly highlighted. Mind you, at junior parkrun I’ve seen juniors run headlong into the side of skips so there is no accounting for the unpredictability of human movements at a parkrun it seems! There were no casualties today, as far as I’m aware.

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Next stop, mandatory pop up sign photos. They still have a big Babbs sign, the mini pop up having not made it out here as yet. We both posed for our own photos and photographed others. I love these little rituals. It’s perhaps the parkrun equivalent of a water cooler moment. Tourists all gather and interact as they queue and help facilitate photos for others or pose themselves, and it’s all good natured and fluid and helps to build the anticipatory excitement.

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I ambled about doing more photos. I was trying to capture a flavour of the event. The downside of touristing is that you can just parachute in to do an event one and only time and if I don’t make a point of recording it somehow they can blur into one. That’s partly what’s behind this blog to be fair, I want to capture the memories for myself at least, every parkrun matters, they are all unique and interesting and joyful in their own way. parkrun tourism is always a micro adventure worth undertaking from when it is little more than a name on your radar to post parkfaffery and returning home. What did any parkrunner ever do before parkrun day was a thing? It pains me to even think of it. Was there ever really truly such a time? It seems inconceivable to me now. Lawks a lordy – that’s perhaps why the eighties were so tough, parkrun wasn’t even a glint in our founder’s eye back then. #hardtoimagine Dark days indeed!

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Next happening was the Run Director’s Briefing. People politely assembled in the start funnel, seeing a couple of parkwalkers resplendent in their powder blue high vis was an encouraging sight – so too the parkwalk sign leaning against the pop up banner when we arrived. It was low key, but visible. There was a friendly welcome, an acknowledgement of the Nelson Number luring tourists from near and far, a happy 40th Wedding Anniversary greeting, a milestone cheer and welcome to tourists from near and far – oh and an enthusiastic round of applause for the high vis heroes too.

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And then pretty swiftly and we were AWF!

I continue to be taken by surprise by the running aspect of parkrun, the mass start gets me every time! Yes, yes, I need a new camera, but also they were just running so fast at the front they passed by in a blur!

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and I slotted in towards the back as is my way, and pootled onwards. Inevitably I drop further and further back, partly because I can’t maintain my pace, partly because I needed to stop and reorientate myself from time to time and partly because not only were there spectacularly photogenic marshals who needed to be thanked and acknowledged, but the park itself was full of hidden treasures.

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The lake itself is surprisingly wild. It’s not the formal city park pond I’d imagined. The edges have tall waving reedbeds which look beautiful and provide plenty of cover for wildlife. There is native planting and running water as well. There are kingfishers to be seen – though not by me today, and the bird song was amazing. It took me a while to recognise that some of the noise was from parakeets, but once a marshal mentioned them they seemed to be everywhere. They remind me so much of Bushy parkrun. I’m a a little conflicted because it probably isn’t the best that non native parakeets are making their way ever further north, we even have some in Sheffield. They are however spectacular. I accept them in Bushy park because they are so well established and it isn’t a natural habitat any more, though it is a sanctuary for some species. I feel though for the parakeets as with the grey squirrels in London they are here to stay and a colourful part of the city wildlife. The route went over little bridges, through wooded paths. The surface was overwhelmingly good, but if I recollect correctly there was a short more traily bit, but nothing too technical. It’s also basically flat, certainly by Sheffield standards.

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My favourite bits were the huge reeds alongside the water, but gazing up into the tree tops was pretty cool too. It is an extraordinary nature reserve in the middle of seemingly urban space. A fabulous sanctuary with much to see.

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Oh, and another favourite bit was seeing my travel buddies the other side of the water as they were finishing a lap round the lake I was just starting out on! Maybe you had to be there to get the full impact, but we did do some enthusiastic waving and whooping at one another before heading off on our respective parkrun pathways! You get to go around the lake twice, so that’s fun.

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One thing that was a bit weird was the proximity of quite dense housing seemingly right within the boundaries of the reserve. It would be amazing to live in one of them, but seemed sub optimum for protection of wildlife. I couldn’t help wondering if that was partly why the litter situation was so lamentable. This was the shocker. Whilst Babbs Mill parkrun gets 10/10 for the welcome, the venue, the post parkrun parkfaffery all the things, it was unquestionably the most horribly littered parkrun I’ve ever been to. Maybe it’s a consequence of recent rain raising water levels which have then dropped back leaving rings of discarded litter surrounding every water course as a tide mark. The path was strewn with not just the odd bit of litter but no patch seemed clear, and big litter items too. Full nappies chucked aside endless takeaway boxes, cans, bottles, crisp packets, it was very depressing. I always try to pick up a couple of bits of litter when I attend any event but here it was so overwhelming I wouldn’t have known where to start and I guess that’s the problem. It is a beautiful space but in desperate need of a mass clean up, and then perhaps it might stay in better order as there would be an incentive to keep it so. It did detract somewhat from the experience because it makes me so sad. There were cheery robins cheeping, and parakeets overhead and amazing habitat everywhere and yet the polluting litter would be hazardous to any creature actually making its home there. Maybe I was unlucky with the timing of my visit, but I hope a team, volunteers or otherwise, are able to tackle it soon. I thought littering could be bad near me, but fortunately we have a very active Sheffield Litter Pickers group which maybe helps, as well as several ‘friends of’ groups for the various green spaces, they keep on top of things. This park is a fabulous place, but could do with a little tlc (tender, loving care).

*stop press* there is a dedicated team of litter pickers on an endless quest to keep the park clean. I salute them. There is also a volunteer who regularly litter picks the area around the parkrun start, and in fairness, that area was indeed pristine – no litter at all, so thanks to them for their efforts. I litter pick myself and it can be demoralising at times so yay for those who keep on, keeping on, you are super heroes!

Despite this, it was a friendly space, dog walkers exchanged greetings with me warmly as I wended my way around, and it was being well used, not just by parkrunners and dogwalkers but plenty of others too. If I lived nearby I’d be out there every day for sure, I bet you see loads of life through the seasons, and you’d get to know all the regulars too.

Unsurprisingly, I soon found myself the final finisher bar the tail walkers. My parkrun buddies who’d finished, circled back to join me which was nice and companionable. As I did the final lap marshals stood down and took down the various course markers. It felt relaxed and friendly and there are clearly regulars who all know one another which is always a good sign at a parkrun.

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We twalked to the finish (walked and talked) and as they’d already been through, they peeled off as I headed through the funnel. The volunteers were cheerily waiting with the funnel in tact, and I didn’t feel under any pressure as a parkwalker which was a big relief, and always a bonus rather than a given at my speed. The returning marshals carrying the ‘caution runner’ and other signs looked like a very polite placard possessing protest group. More flashbacks to the eighties perhaps. Once me and the tailwalkers were scanned in, the pack up and results uploading happened in earnest. Busy, busy busy!

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As everything was very much under control, we said our thanks and then we headed out of the park, over the road and the short distance to the community café, which is situated within a church nearby. This was the recommended place for coffee. I’d heard it was good, but oh my, not this good!

We entered the rather characterless red brick building with modest expectations. Unfolding before us was a large busy café space within a church which was big on Alpha courses in case that is a factor that would influence your decision to go. A singer with a microphone provided musical accompaniment, and a large video of a real fire was being projected onto one of the walls. There was a lively buzz. One of the staff was sporting a large ’18 today’, birthday badge, and church members circulated to welcome parkrunners at their tables. The menu is limited, but as it was limited to basically the most enormous and delicious waffles the world has ever seen I was prepared to forgo my usual savoury post parkrun feed in favour of these things of beauty. The coffee was great too, and it was really good value. £3 for a waffle – and just wait ’til you see the size of it; £2 for a very good coffee, and then bizarrely 50p for a glass of tap water. I did not begrudge them this at all, as it was ridiculously good value for the waffles, but it was so inconsistent to be charged for that. The atmosphere was great, and everyone sang happy birthday to the young woman who was 18 today and cheered a happy anniversary in chorus to the couple who were celebrating their fortieth wedding anniversary. They looked a bit awkward at that, but who cares! It was a lovely debrief at the end of a most excellent parkrun experience. Oh, and there was an abundance of immaculate toilets too, as well as tea served in a pot, all very civilised.

It is true you may well come to Babbs Mill for the parkrun, or your Nelson number, or the Babbs gathering on 21st October 2023 – but you’ll surely stay for the waffles! If you don’t, you are missing a trick, unless you are vegan, I don’t recall a vegan option, but happy to be corrected on that point.

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Tempting as the waffles were, we did take the precaution of photographing prior to eating them and some photos made it up on social media. This caused terrible, FOMO nigh on existential FOMW amongst some. It was bad enough forgoing the parkrun and the nelson but the FOMW (fear of missing waffles) catapulted this sense of exclusion to a whole new level. I would like to say I’m sorry about that, but I’m not really. You’ll just have get yourself down there and make it right! And I know that one respondent has indicated that the only cure for FOMW is a very good pie, but I think that was just a bit of Facebook posturing in the comments, no-one really believes you Ambassador Z.

And that was that. A particularly splendid morning of parkrun tourism. Thank you team Babbs Mill for welcoming so many tourists and providing an enthusiastic, supportive, friendly and chilled event. It must be a bit daunting ahead of a Nelson number, having no idea how many might descend, but the event went with great aplomb. It’s one I’d happily return to. Incidentally, Wimbledon has a 777 coming up next week I think, they are going to need a bigger funnel.

All parkruns are unique and magnificent in their own ways, but I did genuinely like this one a lot, and it would be a good one to go back to in a different season perhaps. If you are local to it, I have a sense it would be one you could feel a part of too. Isn’t that grand. Rhetorical question, yes it is.

And then it was drive home to Sheffield, and photo gazing and then junior parkrun all over again the next day. Hurrah for parkrun weekends. They are The Best.

Are you still here? Thanks for staying the course. Hope your parkrun or other adventuring was just as grand.

If you are at a loose end and game to keep going with your parkrun research then you could always browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.  Hopefully though you’ll have an actual parkrun story of your own to reflect on or look forward to, every parkrunner does.

or you could triangulate my version of events by checking out the Babbs Mill parkrun report for event #111 shout outs and reference to the eleventy first happening of Babbs Mill parkrun – now why didn’t I think of that? I do like an eleventy something number 🙂

Be happy til next parkrun day.

🙂

Oh, and if you do make it to Babbs Mill, check this graffiti out, you’ll see it exiting the church, it must relate to something, but I know not what.

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*Stop press* I got some feedback about the graffiti, it’s sad I’m afraid, but maybe a positive spin on it is that the search goes on. It refers to ‘the milk carton boys‘ two children aged 13 and 11 who went missing on Boxing Day 1996, the pair, became known as the Milk Carton Kids after a nationwide campaign. On the 25th anniversary of their disappearance interest was reignited in their case following a TV documentary, and a dig was organised. They remain unaccounted for, but this powerful image shows they are not forgotten. A poignant image indeed.

Hold your loved ones close.

The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy/Ebury Press or watch the film on iPlayer. It will make you cry though. Unless you have a heart of ice. But in a nice way, it’s just such a delightful and warm perspective on life and friendship and everything. Check it out.

please.