Croeso cynnes gan Penallta parkrun

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A parkrun cwtsh, and trysor a anwybyddir. The problem is, Penallta’s proximity to Pontypridd. This means that many come this way as part of their Full Ponty challenge, and never make it back again to savour the delights of Penallta parkrun. Their bad, they are missing out on a hidden treasure indeed. I’ll try to make the case, but shouldn’t be too hard to be fair, you’ve only got to scroll through a few pictures and you’ll be sold on it, and that’s before we even get to all the flags and pathologically friendly natives and the unique razzle dazzle of all the good things coming together. I don’t want to exactly give you any spoilers, more whet your appetite so you head off there to experience it for yourself. Oh, and another thing, if you hang on for Penallta junior parkrun the following day, you might even bag yourself a sighting of the elusive pink Australian volly brolly. I kid you not! And you thought twitchers got easily excited by the prospect of an elusive sighting, bet you have already squirmed under your bed to retrieve your previously squirrelled away suitcase, fossicked about for your sports bra or bits pants and sprinted to the front door via snatching your barcode from the side in eager anticipation of seeing it for yourself.

Pace yourself though.

Let me help build the anticipation for you, you will be in a frenzy of excitement by the time you set off once you have been furnished with a few more details to put you in the parkrun picture.

So Penallta then. According to the Penallta parkrun website blah de blah

Course Description – This is a one lap course with two out & back sections, within Park Penallta Country Park, utilising route 47 of the national cycle network. Runners are asked to keep on the left side throughout. It’s mostly flat terrain with just one short rise (known as Bea’s Hill) and mainly on tarmac. Starting by the Tredomen Park entrance to Penallta Park the path rises gently North West until a left turn over a railway bridge. This takes runners out and back up Bea’s Hill. Upon returning to the bridge the path continues North West eventually reaching the second out and back spur alongside the railway. Runners are once again reminded to keep left though the open gate into this section. Once this is completed runners turn left through the willow tunnel, around the lake and emerge back on to the outgoing path turning left to head for home. At this point the route simply heads runners South East back to the start point with the last 1 km being a gentle downward slope.

At the start point there is a large map board where the parkrun route is clearly visible.

Facilities – Free car parking & toilet facilities are available at Caerphilly Borough Council buildings.

and it looks like this:

Quite clearly, it’s much easier to remember the route if you visualise the course as an accurate silhouette in the shape of an aardvark’s head, with its tongue sticking out. The icons for the start and finish representing a couple of (admittedly quite large) ants that have just been picked up. A green and and a red ant respectively. I don’t really know why the event team haven’t thought to use that analogy before. Having units of measurements based on aardvark heads is so obvious, and it’s not like Wales isn’t used to being the standard measure for all sorts of things. Wales is 20,779 km2 (8,023 sq mi) in size, the equivalent of 14 million rugby size pitches. ‘An area the size of Wales’ is frequently used to measure the rate of forest destruction for example. It would be annoying though if Wales itself was divided up into 14 million rugby pitches though, as even though the Welsh are known for loving their Rugby, such innovation in land use would present some practical challenges in day to day living.

Do you know what the Welsh is for Aardvark by the way? You probably do to be fair, it’s aardvark accordingtogoogletranslatesoitmustbetrue. With all the enthusiasm for Strava art during lockdown, the opportunity to draw your own aardvark is surely a usp in its own right, and that’s without all the other splendifery of Penallta parkrun to take into account if you weigh it all up appropriately Caerphilly.

I didn’t know in advance about the added value of the aardvark in advance, and was lured by the joy associated with visiting a fellow parkrunner on their home turf. In fact, a few of us would gather together and make a weekend of it. It’s always good to appreciate each others’ home parkruns. Also, I am ashamed to say that in all my years of parkrunning, I had yet to make it to a Welsh venue, my bad. I love Wales, I even worked on Anglesey for a couple of years (pre parkrun obvs) so I have no idea why it’s taken me quite so long to head back. Anyway, we’d fixed the date, booked a purple palace nearby at the Crossways Caerphilly all ready for a go go.

We met the night before, a jolly foursome. We ate at the Fullers Bar adjacent to the Crossways Caerphilly which was without exception the worst meal I’ve ever had out in my entire lifetime. Complaining was futile, efforts at meal modification were beyond the skills of the surly staff, one of whom actually rolled her eyes. The roast potatoes were a soggy mass, replaced after we complained by same subjected to a deep fat frier. The sundaes were made with hot custard instead of cold. I wanted to complain, but my companion is particularly partial to hot custard and felt a sundae glass of hot custard to be a win, so I gave up the good fight and have gone with internalised resentment and a resolve never to cross the threshold of a Brewers Fayre pub again. Avoid, avoid, avoid. Honestly, I’m still fuming, I am annoyed at myself for not demanding a full refund but it felt like it would spoil our fun evening to make a fuss. How very British. Gagging worthy rather than gag worthy. The actual premier inn was fine and dandy though with very jolly and helpful reception staff and blissfully quiet. However, FYI if you are making a weekend of it, pick a quaint B&B near to the castle, which is truly spectacular, and you’ll have a much better sense of place. Still, we’d not gone for the food, we’d gone for the parkrun and the companionship, and these did not disappoint! And we hadn’t expected an aardvark, or even Sultan the pit pony, so maybe what we lost on the swings we won on the roundabouts, or something like that anyway. Also, it was a very educational parkrun experience, edutainment at its best.

The morning dawned. Mist was thick outside our bedroom window, and we were inspecting the heavens to open, the weather forecast having threatened wind and rain. Lots of. Especially rain. I mean, Wales wouldn’t be lovely and green without the rain, but there are limits.

We headed off as a merry threesome, scooping up our Penallta local, and off we went to the edge of Penallta parc. You park for the parkrun in a rather unlikely looking car park for what appear to be general municipal buildings and private businesses. It feels rather as if you are trespassing, but you aren’t, it’s ok. There is even a building where you can nip in for a precautionary pee if needed, always a parkrun win when touristing. Parking was free too, and it’s but a short walk over the road and up a short stretch of hill to the parkrun start. Note this though, if you are over – confident, and just head for the Penallta Parc entrance and car park, you are at completely the wrong side of the venue, and can’t even see the parkrunners a-gathering from that vantage point, so there are sorry tales of tourists arriving in good time, hanging out at the car park and then missing the parkrun altogether. Oh the horror! Doesn’t bear thinking about.

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Fortunately, when you are in the correct location, a handy sign notifies you of this. A notice, you will be bound to notice, is a reassuring presence on such occasions. I also had with me a handy parkrun buddy, dressed in an homage to our friend George as manifest in ‘O Brother Where Art Thou?’ in case you are thinking her outfit looks familiar. In fact, it looks like the characters are taking part in a rather nice trail parkrun route in the publicity photo when you come to think of it. How splendid! Great film that by the way, just so you know.

You know you are going to be in for a treat when you can hear a burst of inspirational running related music blasting out as you approach. It wasn’t ‘running up that hill’, but could have been ‘eye of the tiger‘, whatever, it was definitely a themed playlist. And there was a pop up sign, always welcome for the mandatory parkrun tourist photo op. Charlie wasn’t able to be present in person on this occasion on account of being inadvertently left behind in London, but some quick thinking trouble shooting ensured they were able to join us via video link up for the bear and sign photo. Phew. Dodged a bullet there for sure.

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As well as the music, and smiling high vis heroes, there was a significant amount of flaggery to behold. I don’t mean just bunting – welcome as that always is – I mean your actual flags, strung up as if broadcasting intent from a pirate ship, excellent. A helpful breeze animated them beautifully – but do you know what they all are?

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Let me help, working right to left. The one with the dragon – no prizes for guessing this one. That’s your standard Welsh Flag, but did you know this wasn’t recognised as the Welsh national flag until 1959. I know, quite shocking, and also shocking is that Wales isn’t represented on the Union Flag either, which I’d never really considered before. Next to it we have the Ukrainian Flag, displayed in solidarity with the Ukraine following the Russian invasion. Possibly not really hung correctly but the intention is clear. Interesting, the whole flag thing at parkrun, this is a pretty uncontroversial flag in the current climate, whether a Palestinian flag would be displayed I’m less sure. The next flag you might need a bit of help with. We did, but fortunately under the ‘any other duties’ job spec for the high vis heroes, was flag interpretation. Turns out this is the flag of St David:

‘The flag of Saint David (Welsh: Baner Dewi Sant) represents the 6th-century Saint David (Welsh: Dewi Sant; c. 500 – c. 589), a Welsh bishop of Menevia and the patron saint of Wales. It is normally a yellow cross on a black field, but it has also appeared as a black cross on a yellow field or with an engrailed cross.‘

The flag is another relatively late arrival in the ensign catalogue, being ‘mostly unknown, even in Wales, until the 1990s,’ apparently. Not a stranger to Penallta though, nor all who have participated in the parkrun there, parkrun delivering cross cultural enlightenment and edutainment all over again.

What about the last magpie offering? Well, this has some element of controversy it seems. The canny eyed amongst you will have deduced it is the standard for Swansea City A.F.C. Football club. Now you might conclude from this that Penallta parkrun is a hotbed of Swansea AFC support, but you’d be oh so much mistaken. In fact, a lone voice champions this club, to the mocking scorn of the rest of the parkrun field who are Cardiff City fans. Swansea City’s main rivals are in fact Cardiff City, with the rivalry described as among the most hostile in British football. It is testament to the healing powers of parkrun cordiality that his minority view is indulged albeit disputed, he flies the flag somewhat in desperation to the sniggers of the confident majority. It’s worth knowing some of this flag semiotics prior to attending Penallta to avoid any embarrassing blunders. Also, best to avoid trying to pronounce ‘Penallta’ in the presence of any of the locals, that double l is a challenge to the unpractised, however noble the intentions may be! I can’t promise there won’t be a test of some sort on both these topics (flag and welsh language pronunciation) so best be prepared.

So we gathered and mingled. There was time for obligatory selfies, which I think capture our eager anticipation pretty well…

Despite the generally inclement weather leading up to the event, and indeed afterwards, for the actual pre parkrun faffery and event itself the rain held off. The autumn colours amongst the trees were stunning, and there was a pretty good turn out, with a surprisingly high number of first timers, around 28 not first time everers perhaps – though there was one. Given that there were but 149 course completers, that seems to me to be quite a high proportion of tourists, maybe word is getting out about its delights after all.

There was a cheery first timers’ briefing, as well as an impassioned run director’s briefing. It was a bit confusing as there were two people sporting RD colours, one the old style monochrome and one the new blue, but I suppose it matters little as it seemed to be very much a team affair. Maybe the monochrome RD garb is a further nod to Swansea AFC? Yes, that must be it. Anyways, the core team clearly know each other well and work together, this is a parkrun with a reliable and regular cohort for sure. With many parts of the course named in honour of the high vis namesakes who have patrolled them over the years. We were asked to look out for Malcolm at the end point and to be sure to thank the many marshals as we passed.

Great briefings, and excellent use of foliage to add interest, hurrah!

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and soon we were all very much awf! Some more awf than others, I was, as is usual, right at the back of the pack. This can be very dispiriting at times, but in a venue as lovely as this it was worth spending some time just taking it all in. The colours of the trees, the naming of the parts, the heron, the high vis heroes, and exchanging greetings and waves with runners coming back towards us and then running off again like a tide that ebbed and flowed.

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Inevitably, the rest of the field disappeared out of sight pretty quickly, and we party at the backers were left with the responsibility of a more mindful experience, soaking up the views, as well as the damp on our way round. As well as the astonishing beauty of the trees, and the wonderful ‘secret’ vistas where now and again we ventured into the open, our route was peppered with charming marshals. Each one seemingly more enthusiastic, interactive and photogenic than the one before. Like the finest box of chocolates, everyone was someone’s favourite, though personally I find it impossible to decide. We were a bit previous in trying to identify Malcolm, who is at an end point, but it’s the end point where the his bridge is, not at the top of the hill. Don’t worry though, you’ll work it out from the excellent signage, or the helpful marshals guiding you all round. There is also a seal cub serving as a marshal, I forgot to ask why, but seemed confident and competent enough for the role. Anyway, they were being supervised, so all good.

The route takes you up Bea’s Hill, through Ava’s Arch, via a good squelch mired in Mike’s Marsh, with the apotheosis being, of course, Malcolm’s Bridge.

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Given the nature of the course, there is a fun activity you can do once you get to the far end point of Malcolm’s bridge. (What an amazing co-incidence it was that the bridge is called Malcolm and that the marshal there is called Malcolm too! What are the chances?). There are flags (obvs) at the bridge, and potentially a test to check if you have been properly listening earlier on. These flags are the Welsh flag, but also that red and yellow one – them are lions. This is the Welsh National Flag, you can access a banner making pdf here if you’d like to make your own, though tbf Malcolm’s was altogether classier.

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In Welsh legend, it is believed that Owain Glyndŵr will return to lead the defence of Wales. The banner of Owain Glyndŵr which is four lions on red and gold was carried with him into battle during the rebellion against the English.

As well as trying to get a complete selection of Welsh flags through the ages, you can try to collect the whole set of marshals on the journey home. They are pretty compliant, and each individual market comes with their own set of bespoke accessories, which makes the endeavour extra jolly. It is a bit like herding cats getting them organised into a photo though, but I think we pretty much got there in the end.

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Astonishingly, the rain pretty much held off, so we were able to take in the sights and sounds of the lovely landscape. It’s a cracking parkrun. I honestly don’t know what I’d expected, but the autumn colours were a real treat, the sun even peaked through briefly, and the cheery smiles of the marshals would have warmed the cockles of even the iciest of hearts I’m sure.

Then, ‘suddenly’ there are but 100 metres to go, with a handy sign to advise you of such. This is a parkrun the likes their signs. Flags, signs, welcome doormats, all the symbols all the guiding principles are there.

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But wait, the excitement wasn’t over yet! One of our tourist buddies who’d already finished came back to help us walk in (don’t worry, she is too well practiced in parkrun etiquette to storm the finish funnel more than once)

As the finish funnel came into view, we espied the Welsh Dragon Welcome mat to guide you into the finish. Isn’t that splendid! Spoiler alert, YES, IT IS!

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oh and there were further finish pics on the Penallta parkrun facebook page too, in case you are interested, I mean, why wouldn’t you be, always fun to see a parkrun pic

And so ‘suddenly’ it was all done, done for us, but not for the team, who busied themselves with time keeping and barcode scanning uploading tasks. The course was packed away and like a well oiled machine where there had been parkrunners aplenty, now the parc was restored to nature, it was as if we had never been.

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parkrun paraphernalia was piled into a handy van – not a random one, it did belong to a parkrun team member, and we then made our way to the designated post parkrun parkfaff venue – Tesco, Ystrad Mynach. It is a short drive, and ‘handy’ in that it does generous cheap and cheerful breakfast options, ample parking and so on. It’s not the most atmospheric of venues, but it can accommodate the size of gathering, and also means you can do any odds and ends of shopping whilst you are there. With the benefit of hindsight though, we perhaps should have got our multi-milestone achieving parkrun friend to pose with her bespoke tote with a better backdrop. She has a track record on bag posing. Can’t imagine why she’s not been snapped up for Louis Vuitton’s next promotion – I can only assume they couldn’t afford her. Personally I think she is a most excellent bag lady.

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Oh, and it is also the only Tesco’s – or indeed any other supermarket – I’ve ever been to which has its own memorial bench. At first I thought that was a bit, erm, well weird, to be frank, however, it was for a colleague, and that’s rather touching. Also, very practical, providing a seat for people to sit on whilst they are waiting collection or whatever.

Before we headed back to the hotel, we had a bit of a look around Penallta parc ‘proper’ to admire Sultan the Pit Pony. From the ground, it looks a bit like just a series of lumpy hills, but from the sky it is extraordinary, and once you know what you are looking at on the ground, then scampering along the neck of this giant beast or bounding through his mane is extra fun. Plus, the hoof prints in the ground have created a series of little arc ponds, perfect for wildlife.

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‘Parc Penallta, which sits on the site of the old Penallta Colliery, honors the mine’s nonhuman workers with Sultan the Pit Pony, which is one of the largest figurative earthwork sculptures in the U.K. The enormous equine was created by Welsh artist Mick Petts, who used 60,000 tons of coal shale, dirt, and stone to construct the 656-foot-long (200-meter-long) artwork. The pony was originally unnamed, but it wasn’t long before locals named him after Sultan.

The sculpture was built for a practical reason—it was meant to act as a windbreak to protect the park from strong winds—but the pony serves a recreational purpose, too. Various trails let park visitors crisscross the pony’s entire body. You can even walk to its eye, which is formed by a conical structure erected atop Sultan’s verdant face.‘

We had a jolly nice explore, though ultimately rain stopped play, and we adjourned to the sanctuary of our purple palace for a hot shower and some quality power napping. It’s so important to invest in your future self don’t you agree. Particularly when you need to be on point for junior parkrun volunteer duties the following day…

Alas, that didn’t quite happen according to plan. High winds required a rare, but necessary cancellation of the Penallta junior parkrun event. Such a shame. On the plus side though, as it was a last minute call, we ended up fraternising with the locals at possibly the most beautifully positioned Starbucks I’ve ever seen.

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Unpromisingly, it is by the Asda supermarket in Caerphilly, but it is a temple of glass and space, that looks out to trees behind. Suited our purposes very well, frankly though, I’d have been happy quaffing sewage in a sewer because this quirk of fate brought us in touching distance of an actual Australian Volly Brolly.

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It is a thing of wonder indeed!

Mary Poppins has nothing on us.

All good things come to an end, which is sad, but then again, all bad things do too, in time. As a wise person once said, it’ll all be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright, then it’s not the end. Good to know. A shared parkrun is a shared joy. Thanks to all who made it so.

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Oh, and please do find a space on your 5k parkrun planner to get yourself to Caerphilly, you’ll have a ball, well, maybe not an actual ball, but a metaphorical one having a jolly fine time at a parkrun there, or your money back!

Hope you having good times at a parkrun near you, and have made it out in the recent inclement weather as parkruns tumble all around. Extra thanks to the volunteers as you pass on by if you are lucky enough to find one still on. If not, in the meantime you could always browse through all my parkrun related posts here. Or not. It’s up to you. You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.

By for now, and thanks for stopping by.

Nothing flakey about Watergrove parkrun #393

Well, w(h)at er lovely parkrun Watergrove is.

It’s been on my radar a while. I’d heard it is one of very few that goes properly off to the hills, nice and high, and it is reachable from Sheffield by car which is a boon. Check out the official website blah de blah:

Course Description

The start is at the bridge adjacent to the “History Wall” on the smooth broad track on the east side of the Reservoir. Keep the main reservoir on your left, passing the Tree for Life plantation on your right. Stay on the main track round the bend; past the Sailing Club on your left. At the junction turn right through the open gate and head up the gently ascending cobbled road, between the stone walls and woodlands. Pass the picnic area at Little Town on your left and keep climbing. Pass through the open gate heading out onto the open moorland with the hills of Crook Moor in front of you. The track changes surface at this point from cobbles to a rough, uneven, stoned surface.

As the track levels out at Steward Barn (a reminder of the area’s history) fork left through another open gate. The track now descends steeply with views to your left of the reservoir and, on a good day, Manchester beyond. Continue downhill passing through an open gate and enter Higher Slack Bank Nature Reserve. The track continues to descend steeply, keep left with the brook on your right. At the bottom of the descent take the far open sided bridge across the stream, keeping left, climb the hillside and out of the Nature Reserve through an open gate. Bear left and follow the gravel footpath as it climbs up and once again out onto the open moorland, with views to your left across Watergrove Reservoir to the Peak District hills in the distance. Keep to the left, following the footpath which climbs steeply then descends towards the closed gate at which point you turn around. Return along the path, keeping to the left, descending to the Nature Reserve and admire the view of the Wardle Moor skyline ahead of you.

At the bottom of the hill, re-enter the Nature Reserve and, keeping left, follow the track down towards the stream, cross the stream on the bridge (with hand rails on either side) and turn left to climb steeply out of the valley. Pass through the open gate and onto the open moorland, continue climbing to the next open gate and bear sharp left following the uneven track, Ramsden Road, as it heads steadily uphill. Keep to the left, and as the track bends and levels pass through the open gate, turn around at the nice marshal positioned on the track. As you turn, admire the fabulous views of Watergrove Reservoir and then across Rochdale to Manchester City Centre and the Cheshire Plain beyond. It is now all downhill to the finish as you return down the track. At the junction bear left; at the bottom of the descent turn left through the gate and return to the start area at the “History Wall”.

Due to the terrain, parts of the course may make it harder for people with buggies & pushchairs – please contact the team in advance for further information.

Facilities – Please note there are no toilet facilities.

However, I admit to being deterred by lack of loos, and also a bit hesitant because of my disability. Nerve damage in my leg means I can be wobbly as well as slow, and as it’s not obvious to others, I worry about being able to go at my own pace. Starting with a misleadingly upbeat walk and getting ever slower as the kilometers go by. I hate not being able to be invisible at a parkrun and having to think it through every week, worrying about being a burden is routine. Although the official line is that parkwalkers are always welcome, on the ground it’s not always a great experience, and I try not to set myself up for failure. It’s great therefore to have the solidarity of supportive friends to help me hold my nerve.

The course looks like this:

Sort of a Y shape then, and an out and back within that. Check out all that countryside, it was an exciting prospect. Y not take up the challenge? It would be fabulous. And as for the lack of facilities, well, they do say moving out of your comfort zone is a way to grow in confidence and experience, an agonising kidney infection/ uti would be but a small price to pay for such a magnificent parkrun experience surely?

Shout out to Tring Originals – not to be confused with Werther’s Originals, although to be fair both are jolly nice to have with you on an outing – who contacted me to say they were heading to Watergrove on the way back from a holiday in the Lake District (where incidentally they’d been hobnobbing with the S-Hs and p is for parkrun writer at Whinlatter Forest parkrun the week before #parkrunlegends). Was I up for joining them? Yes I was! It was in the diary months ago, and I’m so glad it was. I’ve been feeling a bit broken of late, and if there hadn’t have been a plan I think this particular parkrun day might have been reframed as an ‘investing in my future self duvet day’, and I’d have missed out. I’d have missed out because Watergrove parkrun is truly spectacular, and it should go without saying the Tring parkrun companions are quality parkrun accessories at any event as well. Really, as with fancy dress and high vis heroes, no parkrun is complete without at least one representative from that iconic event. And if, like me, you get to pick your own bespoke Tringers, well, that’s hitting the parkrun jackpot, obvs! 🙂

The morning dawned. In fact it didn’t really. I have chronic insomnia, which usually means in any given early hour I’m awake, albeit sleep deprived. On this occasion though, after a fitful night when I felt I hadn’t slept at all, I woke up confused having completely slept through my alarm. Aaargh. Nothing for it, but the from horizontal to upright DIY Heimlich Manoeuvre and up and out the door without really registering what was going on. In the circumstances, it’s amazing I remembered to dress myself before exiting the house. The drive would be tight, but doable, I usually allow ages for contingencies like getting lost, needing the loo, finding somewhere to park etc, but this would be just in time parkrun arriving, not really my thing. Again, it was good I’d already committed to where I was going as I may have bailed at this point, but no, I was a parkrunner on a mission, well parkwalker anyway, I would find a way to make it so. Anyhows, don’t know if I’ve mentioned it recently, but now I have an actual SMARTPHONE and the 5k app, I could even identify a NENDY on the way in an emergency scenario. Nope, not beaten yet.

The good thing about oversleeping, is the surge of adrenalin brought about by the horror of potentially missing a parkrun rendezvous zaps you awake, so in the car, blinking and hyper vigilant behind the wheel in next to no time. Off I went.

It wasn’t a bad drive in the circumstances, but coming from Sheffield takes you over Saddleworth Moor, on the M62 which is the highest motorway in the UK apparently. I didn’t know this. Either that it was the highest motorway, or that it would take me across Saddleworth Moor, but a helpful sign enlightens you at the top. Going across the moors brought me up short and was a bit spooky to be honest, there was fog and it is bleak out there. You can’t help but recall the Moors murderers and the area is so vast and expansive, you can see why some victims thought to be still out there were never found. It is a thought provoking drive from Sheffield, spectacular at times, moody, and sometimes pea soup fog. I did wonder if my parkrun destination too would be shrouded in mist.

As I descended from the highest point on the drive I emerged into bright sunshine and glorious views. I felt that wave an anticipatory excitement as the countryside opened up in front of me. I absolutely love this sort of landscape. It feels wild and ancient and the contours of the hills bring perspective on life somehow, and the skies seem vast and open. Yep, this was going to be grand.

Fortunately for me, I’d had inside intel from my Tring scouts who’d spent the night before nearby and done a recce. They’d let me know about the car park and the cobbled road that led there. I was reasonably confident about finding space to park therefore. Previously, having read the notes imploring you not to park in the village of Wardle, I sort of assumed there would be a shortage of parking. In fact, this is a relatively small parkrun and parking was good, though would be a problem if a particular challenge chaser number attracted a huge jump in numbers say. Incidentally, top parkrun touristing tip, send an advance party to photograph the amenities at your destination parkrun the night before to ease stress on parkrun morning. I got this intel. Good isn’t it? You’re welcome. parkrun tourism doesn’t need to be stressful if you bring teamwork to the parkrun party.

wound through Wardle, and lo! There ahead of me was the cobbled path, reservoir service road. I had been warned that you’d need a sports bra to negotiate that, never mind the parkrun. This warning was judicious and helpful – though an understatement. Great way to test out not only the undercarriage of your vehicle of conveyance, but also test out your own pelvic floor. tbh, the lack of precautionary pee facilities on arrival might be purely academic by the time you make it to the car park.

It is an exciting approach, you feel sort of off roady, in part perhaps because you sort of are. I wouldn’t have liked to meet a vehicle coming the other way, but didn’t so that was good. Lots of parking places and my Terrific Tring Twosome handily in situ having parked up already. Aren’t they looking particularly photogenic today? Didn’t even need to remind the to pretend to like each other for the camera which I find I have to do surprisingly often when photographing parkrun people pairs.

I was cutting it finer than I’d have liked, but not too fine. The car park was pretty empty, but a horsebox had pulled up at a far corner and it looked like this might be a regular starting point for long rides across the moor. Also, this provided a little barrier behind which I could disappear to admire the view briefly whilst attending to the necessaries, my pelvic floor muscles having held out sufficiently that I still had a bladder in need of discrete emptying at this point.

The moody skies added to the beauty of the place. You leave the car park and head through a gate up towards the reservoir and the parkrun rendezvous point. The landscape was already glorious and enticing and I was really pleased I’d roused myself from the oblivion of sleep to get here. As is always the case, parkrun was lifting the spirits and we hadn’t even started yet.

We headed off towards the start, it feels like a mini adventure into the wilderness. SO EXCITING!

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Allthough it has a very off road look to it, the surface was pretty good, compact paths leading up to the rendezvous point. The flag and pop up signs welcomed us, with the reservoir visible just over the wall. Volunteers assembled, and tourists took turns to get the pop up shot with the sign and regulars caught up with one another whilst the high vis heroes did the necessaries. All good.

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Quick heads up though, one thing they don’t mention in the course description is that there is a weight limit on the route. 40 – 45 tonnes maximum. Pretty inclusive weight range, but not something I’ve ever seen explicitly indicated at any other course.

What with my new ‘just in time’ parkrun arrival strategy, we had barely posed for photos when it was time for the first timers’ welcome. Fair play, this was one of the most thorough and interesting briefings I’ve encountered. The course was explained in some detail with pictorial aid of a map. We were directed to pay attention as particularly at the end turn around point on one of the Y’s there is a SHUT gate and a cone around which you should turn. One parkrunner, in a moment of discombobulation, or due to not attending properly to the course description at the briefing, instead went through the gate and ended up doing a solitary circuit around the whole reservoir, disconcerting for them and for the volunteer team too, it is sub optimal to lose parkrunners en route. Though to be honest, it is rare for teams to actually count you on the way out, so they’d be none the wise if you vanished out on them there hills as no-one would be counting you back in either. Don’t get me wrong, the landscape is lovely, but now the days are getting shorter again, you really don’t want to be lost out there for all eternity. We were warned about unexpected puddles, slippery cobbled bits allsorts really.

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particular reference was made to an outward bridge and a different return bridge. Here we were to be EXTRA careful, because it has been known for parkrunners to plummet from this bridge into the white water rapids below. That reminds me. In completely unrelated news, there was also to be a tailwalker to keep us all safe, hurrah. No reason. I think there might be trolls under the bridges too, but can’t quite recall. Be careful out there basically. Respect the landscape. And respect the volunteers too. And each other. And other path users. Usual.

Then there was just time for a bit of ‘coats on/ coats off’ faffery,

and moving out of the way of the water company vehicle as a) getting run over em masse can ruin your whole day and generates an avalanche of paper work for the event RD and b) best to keep the water company sweet as it is they who allow parkrun to access the course. The vehicle passed through without incident, and then we gathered near the cattle grid for the RD briefing.

The sun came out, the view – already spectacular – opened up even more, and the gathered parkrunners formed a respectful semi circle around the RD. Again, a thorough briefing. This was even number 393 so I suppose by now it is a well oiled machine, though fairly minimalist on the number of volunteers. Not necessarily by choice I gather, they have struggled a bit to get the volunteers needed each week, as have many parkruns post covid. Still, a quality volunteer band, if not a quantity one, and supplemented by carefully placed conery and signage en route.

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My favourite bit of the RD briefing though was the picture of the sheep. This is not to in anyway diminish the excellence of any of the other aspects of the briefing, but it just really tickled me that there was a sheep warning. Or were we being alerted to a particular sheep to watch out for? Embarrassingly I didn’t take note. Or was it a representative sheep to warn us about sheep in general. I don’t think they were actually carnivorous or anything, but even if they were, as a walker at the back of the pack, they would not doubt have feasted to their fill on the faster parkrunners by the time I got there, so no worries. I wonder if at Australian parkruns they show photos of wallabies or sharks or whatever by way of warning as well. Maybe one day I’ll find out. As long as the sheep had their baa-codes, all would be well. Sorry. Sorry, did I say sorry? I meant not sorry, obvs. 🙂

The RD is clearly making a very serious point judging by his expression though, I should have concentrated a bit more instead of being distracted by the loveliness of the sheep in question.

Briefing concluded, it was a group procession over the cattle grid, or down the track to the start just the other side. All very companionable..

and then it was ‘suddenly’ time for awf!

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I did my usual slotting in right at the back. Pleasingly, there was another walker, disappointingly, she hadn’t realised you could walk at parkrun, and as someone accompanying faster parkrunners had already committed to doing a shorter, waterside walk, so she could meet them at the finish which would be speedier than her walking pace. Oh well, she joined the tailwalker briefly, before peeling off. Next time eh?

And off we went, in pursuit of, or more accurately in the wake of, those fleeter of foot. I pity them though, all that running up hills til their eyes bleed means they missed out on soaking up the most spectacular hills. I knew that this would be a very fine parkrun, but honestly, I was completely blown away by the landscape. You do feel out in the wilds. It’s a tough course if you opt to run it, and not gonna lie, I felt the elevation in my calf muscles, but as a 5k parkwalk it is absolutely gorgeous. The scenery is breath-taking. It changes a lot too, you move upwards through wooded paths, and then ‘suddenly’ are on the edge of open moorland. As you stride, saunter, or sprint onwards you have to make a point of looking to your left to take in the views of the reservoir, although you can’t have gone that far, you can make out the start and it looks miles and miles away. I felt transported to another world. I don’t doubt that it might get decidedly nippy out there in winter, it’s pretty exposed up the tops, but today was gorgeous.

As you get higher, there is a point at which you meet another marshal at the intersection of the branches of the Y shape. She helpfully points in all directions to shoo parkrunners in the right direction. Higher up I could make out the graceful partial silhouettes of the wind turbines emerging from the mist. I know many people loathe them, but I quite like them. They have a sculptural quality.

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The cobbled track had a sort of ageless feel to it. No doubt slippery when wet, they were negotiated safely by all today … as far as I know. The reservoir consumes the old village of Watergrove, so maybe the roads date back to when that village was still a community. Watergrove Reservoir submerged the village in 1938 apparently. Also, fyi, parkrun gets a mention on its Wikipedia page. Hurrah!

A free, weekly, 5 km parkrun takes place every Saturday morning. The event is hosted by local volunteers and was first held on Saturday 7 June 2014.[3]

and they’ve even written it allonewordalllowercase #dreamsreallycancometrue

We paused to watch some of the front runners pounding up the hill, and then continued down the slope, cheering on the parkrunners pushing on through gritted teeth, not gonna lie, walking down was probably more fun in the actual moment, though i daresay those parkrunners would feel a great sense of achievement by the end of proceedings.

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I’m sure even those with apparently gritted teeth were happy on the inside.

I had the tailwalker with me anyway, but there were marshals at critical points, pointing us through open gateways and over bridges, cones keeping outward and returning parkrunners safely apart on one stretch.

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Oh, and there were even actual sheep as promised/warned in the RD briefing. I couldn’t be sure if they were the same actual sheep pictured earlier – lakes a lordy, I hope it hadn’t been a wanted poster we’d been shawn. (see what I did there). Anyway, they didn’t seem to be up to any particular mischief, though possible being somewhat furtive lurking in the undergrowth now I come to think of it….

As advised, you could indeed see right across to Manchester and it was an impressive sight. I have a soft spot for the open moorland too, it calms me, and I love the feeling that you can walk for miles and miles. Whether or not you actually can, I’m not sure, but it was spectacular and healing all the same.

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then we got to the end of the road with the closed date and the cone that marked our turning point. Not really sure how you could misread this, but then again, I have been known to face the wrong way at the start of an unknown parkrun so perhaps should refrain from judging. Also, I think a run round the reservoir would be jolly nice in its own right anyway, just it would be shame if you were thwarted from claiming your parkrun due to avoidable navigational error. Consider yourself warned dear reader.

and turning back and returning from whence you came, back to the Y line intersections is actually pretty splendid, because you appreciate the views all over again but in different light, and this time get to head onwards and upwards to the wind turbines. First though, you have to negotiate the back route on the alternative bridge. I noted the tailwalker very particularly went over the parallel bridge to me to ensure I was safe. Also, by splitting up, if the bridge troll was active, it would only be able to make a grab for one of us, leaving the other free to go and get help. Wasn’t needed on this occasion, but you can’t be too careful. This is why parkrun is so thorough in its risk assessments, and quite right too.

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Back round again, and it was a gentle incline back to the start, a cheery marshal waiting by the gate to see us safely home. Google photos did this clever colour pop thing, good though isn’t it? Proper high vis hero tooled up and ready for all eventualities, hurrah!

At we were descending, the Tring Twosome, who had completed their parkruns came back out as a sort of personal escort to help shepherd me home. It was good to walk and talk and take it all in. A fine parkrun finale indeed.

and back to the warm figurative embrace of the finish funnel team. I was a good 10 minutes or so behind the penultimate completer, but the team seemed ok with that which was a relief. We were timed in and scanned in record time and thanked the team before wending our way back down to the carpark. Rather sweetly, a child on a mini bike really wanted to race the tailwalker home, but she had to stay behind me and alas, I wasn’t running anyway. No matter, the a Tringer saved the day with a sprint back, suspect she didn’t beat the bike though, but had fun trying, and hope, she didn’t go through the finish funnel twice, so all good, and no palpitations for the timers either. Oh look at my finish token, hurrah. No, not that, don’t be childish, I got a position bingo number too, didn’t even know that was a think, but my 5k app thing tells me so, and who am I to disagree.

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On the way back we passed some other walker/runners one of whom accosted me to enquire about my llama leggings. She has been considering purchasing some, and wanted to check about sizing. Although my leggins have giraffes on them, they are nevertheless llama leisure ones, and they are indeed splendid. It’s the pockets and comfiness of them, and they are half the price of many of their competitors, though probably I could do with a bit of a higher cotton count in the gusset area to be honest, but generally, splendid. My interrogator consented to a leg shot, funny what being a llama legging wearing parkrunner has normalised apropos of conversations with strangers. And a fine thing too!

my giraffe leggings are my absolute favourites though. Why wouldn’t they be.

After this little brand ambassador interaction, we continued to our cars. The plan was to check out the recommended breakfast venue. Parking in the village was a worry, but we had some inside information, not sure if I should fess up, but then again, handy intel. and it is in the website info.

We were headed to Charlie’s Coffee and Cakes, 135 Ramsden Road, Wardle, OL12 9NX, and to achieve this, we availed ourselves of the free parking at the Conservative club OL12 9JU from which it was just a few paces to the coffee shop. There may have been some nervous laughter shared between us as we speculated on what would happen if we broke down at this spot. We agreed absolutely no photos and we shall not speak of this again. It’s to remain a secret between you and I dear reader.

and so to Charlie’s then. It was splendid. It’s not a big place, and at first we thought there’d not be room for us, but lo, there was a separate area to the back with squishy sofas. It was a super friendly place and we enjoyed a leisurely post parkrun breakfast. We m arveled at the blast from the past which was spam on the menu. Yep, one of our party succumbed to this novelty, because how often do you see spam on a menu these days. Basically never. It came, it was consumed, turns out, there is a reason why, like angel delight, spam only appears rarely as an option. As a novelty value though it was like travelling back in time, I half expected to see pricing options in green shield stamps, but alas no!

Oh, on reflection, looks like I only half remembered the venue. I had a squishy sofa, but sitting opposite was a bit more of a test of poise, still I was fine, so there you go.

But wait! There’s more. Turns out my Tring friends had been stalking my parkrun progress, and identified this as being my 99th different parkrun, arbitrary perhaps, but a great excuse for bringing out the flakes and this they had done just for me! A multi pack, well this was excellent, we might not be able to do the 99 ice cream itself, this not being an ice cream serving sort of establishment, but we did break open the multi pack. There being four, I got to keep two and the others got one each. Except that then, using his personal charm and charisma 50% of the Tring party was able to negotiate for some ice cream in which to insert the flake to create a reimagining of the original flake. It was such an amazing surprise, it made me feel all warm and squidgy inside. Really thoughtful, and all the better for being entirely unexpected. Ane, even better, the serving presentation caused much hysterical guffawing for the placement of erect flake proudly atop two adjacent spherical scoops of ice cream. Doesn’t take all that much to get us started apparently. For the second time that morning I wasn’t sure if my pelvic floor would hold out, this time from laughing rather than from bouncing along a cobbled service road!

my parkrun companions attempted to pay for the ice cream on exiting, but the offer was waved away with a smile. They done it as a favour and didn’t really have a pricing category for it. Thinking on her feet, the other 50% of the Tring contingency proffered her remaining flake by way of exchange. The upshot was, they ended up having no flakes and I took home two and ate one in situ. Was I supposed to share? Possibly. That’s the trouble with hindsight, not massively helpful unless you combine it with the ability to travel in time, which I don’t have, despite the spam encounter of the morning. Anyway I didn’t. Only the one spoon, and surely the best way to show my appreciation was to just scoff the lot. I like to think so …

Anyway, the upshot was it was a wonderful healing parkrun morning, a much needed boost after a tricky week. The parkrun itself was way up there with my favourite ones to date. It is simply stunning, granted, we got it on a good day for views, but i bet it is equally glorious every time, albeit different every time too. It is one that is prone to winter cancellation though due to ice and snow. Apparently it was also on something of a knife edge re going ahead today too, due to lack of volunteers, so keep an eye out if you are planning a trip, and if you have a non running friend to volunteer, or are able to volunteer yourself, I’m sure you will be welcomed with open arms. Dress for the exposure on the moors though, think hat, buff and thermal vest. Outer garments as well obvs, not just hat, buff and thermal vest, that would be weird. Maybe a scarf and gloves too, right nippy out there on them there moors.

So it was a very fine morning. Thanks as always lovely parkrun high vis heroe, and thanks especially to my loyal Tring Troopers. It was such a tonic to meet up and great to be given a reason to commit to going to Watergrove parkrun at last instead of just thinking ‘one day’. If Watergrove is a ‘one day’ parkrun on your list, do yourself a favour and fix a date in the diary to go, you are missing out if you don’t.

Sigh.

Perfect parkrun morning.

Hope you had one too, wherever you were, or do again soon.

In the meantime you could always browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.

Thanks for stopping by.

Wat er day for the NHS celebrations at Watermead Country Park parkrun

Well, that was splendid.

It’s true, there were some things I didn’t entirely think through, but to be fair, that isn’t really particularly novel in my parkrun touristing world, and besides, it adds a frisson of excitement to proceedings, that element of jeopardy that keeps you on your toes and makes you feel truly alive.

Oh, have I not explained properly? Well, today was parkrunday, obvs. But parkrun day with a twist. To mark the 75th birthday of the NHS, many parkruns were geared up for a celebratory day. NHS staff would be especially encouraged to attend, some NHS trusts proactively got involved with particular events over the weekend (Yay for NHS Children’s Hospitals for helping Sheffield Olympic Legacy junior parkrun go with an extra swings and an abundance of flaggery and blue t-shirts on the Sunday). One of my parkrun circle, who is a real life NHS hero and physiotherapist had elected to come to Watermead Country Park parkrun on this day. A venue picked primarily because of its geographical location, people were gathering from North and South and all sorts of very very far away to come together for the morning. Blue was encouraged, as was fancy dress. Newbies especially welcome. Hurray.

I was feeling especially pleased, because I am now in possession of some fetching (these adjectives are subjective I know) blue scrubs! I know! The luck eh. I’ve acquired them as part of my costume options for supporting artist work, only a fiver, an absolute bargain, fantastic to have an opportunity to give them a proper outing. I donned them, and yeah! I totally looked the business. A triumph! However, as all Eeyore appreciating people know, no silver lining comes without a cloud. It dawned on me that I might be mistaken for an actual medic. At best, I might be receiving unworthy praise and recognition. I know NHS staff got actual medals at one parkrun – Brierley Forest parkrun apparently, there was a takeover by Nottinghamshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust I understand. I mean medals are always fun aren’t they, better that a round of applause and saucepan banging, probably not as good as a pay rise, but fun to have all the same. However, at worst, I might be called on to intercede in the event of a medical emergency. I mean, obvs I’ve watched a lot of episodes of casualty over the years, so I’d be fine with diagnosing an ectopic pregnancy or spotting someone about to fall off a ladder, but those are fairly narrow parameters of helpfulness, I probably shouldn’t try to pass as a medic of any sort. I would be great tending to people who were pretending to be injured or ill though. I’d be confident I could nail that. Then again, maybe someone would stand me a coffee. Accepting a proper coffee would probably be ok wouldn’t it? Make the giver feel pleased they had made this gesture of recognition, it would be rude of me to decline it. Yes, I’d accept decent coffee, and a round of applause and pan banging (well, volunteers get clapped at parkrun every week anyway don’t they) but I’d walk away from performing DIY tracheotomies using only the outer casing of a biro and a steel nerve, also field operations (including amputations) and AED supervision. That seems a reasonable compromise. Yes, it’ll be fine and dandy. Maybe ditch the fake ID though. Don’t want to push my luck too far. And breathe. All good.

As you may already know dear reader, I can’t run currently, it’s debatable whether what I did previously constituted actual running, but it was significantly speedier than I can manage now without too much ouching or post event exhaustion. Anyways, I decided I’d volunteer as parkwalker as that was a role that was still available, and the blue high vis would set off my blue scrubs just lovely. There was a friend already tailwalking so the party at the back promised much banter, photo posing and all round good times.

Unfortunately, night before, tailwalking friend was incapacitated! Disaster. Well, more accurately, she was already incapacitated earlier in the week, but had thought she’d manage to drive, but alas, it was not to be. Last minute shenanigans and emails to the team. Lo, I would be tailwalker. That’s ok, I can rock orange just as well as blue, and as I do struggle to walk at any speed, might even be better off officially at the back of the pack instead of just ending up there like the dregs of tea leaves at the bottom of a pot. Although the original tailwalker is a parkrun legend and would be much missed, we would bravely continue as best we could without her. We might be but a shadow of the vitality she could bring, but we would struggle on in her name. I say ‘we’ because I was not alone. Oh joy, my EWFM and parkrun buddy would come with an actual tail, and complete the tailwalking duo. It’d be fine and dandy. parkrunners from across the land, gathering at Watermead like druids meeting at Stonehenge. Pretty much identical to that as Watermead Country Park does have it’s very own stone circle too fyi, so plenty of opportunity for re-enacting ancient druid rituals, or indeed creating your own. Your own ritual that is, not stone circle, though feel free to have a go if you have the space to do so, I wouldn’t want to crush creative impulses.

I know, a stone circle is always a boon at a parkrun I find. Not sure why it isn’t mandatory to have one in the way having a defibrillator is. I daresay it will be in time. Might be quite a long time though. Stonehenge is afterall about 5000 years old and has yet to have a parkrun linked to it. . Watermead Country Park parkrun is but two years old (nearly) and though it’s hard to be absolutely sure, I doubt their stone circle is as ancient as Stonehenge. I’m sure it is just as much fun though, maybe more so, as you can frolic amongst the stones up close and personal should the mood take you.

Incidentally, did you know that Cecil Chubb bought stonehenge at an auction when he was supposed to have bought some dining room chairs instead? Thought not. We’ve all done it haven’t we? Blown our budget on a national monument instead of getting the one practical item we really needed. Bet his wife was furious, they’d have to stand up for all their meals in perpetuity, and this was before standing desks was a thing! It’s all very well being ahead of the times, but there are limits.

I have no idea if the story is true obvs, but it pleases me, so I don’t intend to investigate more thoroughly. Here is the Stonehenge Wikipedia page just in case though… oh and there is one for Cecil Chubb too – seems he did! Gosh, well good for him. Bought stonehenge, I don’t know whether he bought dining chairs or not…

Anyway, stop distracting me, I’m all over the place, it’s a while before we get to the stone circle shenanigans, let me go back a bit.

Watermead Country Park parkrun then. After initially just deciding to blindly follow friends to their destination of choice I thought I ought to do a bit of pre parkrun research. I established there is a satnav postcode to follow, but it may lead you astray, so you are warned to follow the brown Country Park North signs instead. There is plenty of parking within the park, but it will cost you £2.50 which is pretty fair. The other option being to park at the Hope and Anchor pub carpark just outside the entrance to the Country Park, where volunteers and others can park for free if they agree to either vacate the pub by 10.30 or stay on for post parkrun faffery and brunch. They don’t say parkfaffing, they say breakfast, but I think we all know what is implied.

According to the official parkrun website the Watermead Country Park parkrun course is described thus:

Course Description
The course starts in the north eastern corner of the picnic field opposite the main car park.
The route is an anticlockwise lap of John Merricks Lake, turning right after one lap back past the toilet block, along the path bordering the picnic field over the small wooden bridge and then 2 clockwise laps of King Lears Lake.

and it looks like this:

so, essentially like a pair of glasses that you’ve either sat on, or dropped and trodden on. Or if you are the sort of person who is really careful with your specs, someone else has done that to them on your behalf. To be crystal clear though, unlike your breaking your specs which would be both very annoying and unhelpful, Watermead Country Park parkrun is not annoying at all, and in fact completely delightful as well as being positively helpful for mental, physical and emotional health, do try not to confuse these things, could be very awkward. More awkward even than having to have a bash at an impromptu emergency procedure in an attempt to brazen out wearing misleading blue scrubs to an NHS birthday parkrun for example. You have been warned.

Emails went back and forth, and then I received a reminder email for volunteering. Oh wow! This was the most comprehensive volunteer email I’ve ever had. I appreciated it. It included details on the course, where marshal points were located, information about parking. Best bit though (which was hard to choose as there were a great many best bits) was the request that you make sure you are there in good time. ‘Please arrive between 8:15 am and 8:30 am. It’s really important that you are not much later than this as the Run Director may break out in “hot sweats and be just a little anxious”.’ This is so well said! If you are an unknown volunteer especially, all event organisers get inwardly twitchy as time ticks on in case you may be a no show. This is self evident to anyone who has been involved in a core team putting on an event, but it is worth stating. Run Directors are only human, and don’t wish to unduly age before their time. I’ve not seen this point made in the volunteers email before, it was a good point, well made. Might even steal it.

So I headed off at stupid o’clock, but nothing like as stupid o’clock as last week at Newbiggin by the sea parkrun, which took all week to recover from.

It was an easy drive to Leicester. I’d fretted about not being able to find it because of the warning that the satnav wouldn’t take you to the right place, and not being able to get there from the A46, oh and I was unsure about precautionary pee facilities too, and how would I know what the Hobby Horse Roundabout was. Would there be an actual hobby horse in situ to make things clear? Consequently I pulled off at a service station a few miles away to powder my nose, get petrol and check the map. I then, bravely, aimed for the postcode and lo! Found myself at a roundabout that has the Hobby Horse pub on it. Whilst I was disappointed there was no hobby horse to be seen, it was fairly evident this would be the titular roundabout. The satnav actually worked well, but you need to hold your nerve as it feels a bit like you are going into a dead end industrial estate. However, there are indeed big brown signs to Watermead North and on my experience you can’t really get lost. The satnav did think I’d arrived at my final destination (not death, the parkrun start) a bit before I had, but just a bit further on and I was at the Hope and Anchor pub, where there was loads of parking, a picturesque canal, and level headed people going about their early morning deliveries. I parked up, saving myself £2.50. and being ideally situated for post parkrun refreshment purposes as well. Forward planning you see, it’s a gift.

I was really early, so sauntered off in the direction of the park entrance. It’s just over the brow of a hill and a little bridge, and it was all lovely.

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Oh look, here is the big sign so I know I’m in the right place, and there is the car park handily right near the entrance, and if my memory serves me correctly, the gathering place for the parkrun is right near the car park. Ooh, I’m going to be so early.

I started sauntering off, and quickly saw a ‘caution runners’ sign, indicating I was definitely in the right place, and that the course set up team must set up really early. I found myself walking further and further and losing confidence a bit in my directional impulses. The views across the water were fabulous though, and rich undergrowth, made lush and vigorous by recent rain made if feel quite other wordly and completely lovely.

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Eventually, after 10 mins or so of rambling about, I came upon another park user, who pointed me ahead up the road to where the parkrunners were assembling. Oh. Turns out, there are many carparks. The one right at the entrance isn’t the best one, instead, head right on up the road and you’ll get to one a bit further away which is bang next to open patch of grass where everyone actually assembles. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t a crazily long way, but it is around 10 -15 minute walk, depending on how many photos you have to take along the way, which is long enough to make you late for the pre run briefing if you are too complacent about arrival times. You could however, use the what three words app, as they suggest. That takes you to the metre square grid where you need to be. I regret now not checking out exactly where this was, but choose to believe it is where they plant their parkrun flag. So do as I say, not as I do, and all will be reyt.

I emerged round a corner of undergrowth, and there they all were. Huge kudos for their magnificent wheeled equipment vehicle. This is a very well kitted out team. Carefully arranged lanyards hung on hooks labelled by marshal point, so you could tell at a glance if anyone was yet to arrive. The RD and entourage had not only a clipboard – always a sign of competence and authority, even without the addition of a high vis – but also an actual table and pen! They marked off people as they arrived. The funnel was already under construction, and further away, I could see a very fine proper posh coffee van setting up. Looked like it would be brewing up the good stuff, a hipsters dream. Though FYI it came in a cup rather than a jam jar, so maybe bring your own jar if that serving style is important to you.

As I was approaching the gathering, my EWFM messaged to say she was on her way, but delayed on account of being on the wrong motorway. This involved an extra 6 miles up and 6 miles back down, not a good start to the morning. It is important to put on record this was not a navigational error, but a driver error. She was not driving. No hard feelings, but she was definitely right, good to know.

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I introduced myself and explained about my fellow tail walker being on the wrong motorway. That was fine, the RD seemed not to break out into a sweat and didn’t need to breathe into a paper bag or anything. Mind you, this team are so well organised, I bet somewhere in their kit bag they have a paper bag carefully put by for just such an eventuality. I picked up a high vis, was told there was a separate marshal briefing shortly. I asked another regular about facilities, because you can never have too many precautionary pees and it’s good to check these things out. Turns out, there are loos, and whilst maybe not the most salubrious I’ve ever graced, they were perfectly adequate and within the first 100 yards or so of the parkrun route. There was a sign warning of speedhumps which was rather sweet. The speed humps are of rather polite proportions and not much of an obstacle, hardly hurdling territory, but I daresay what the course risk assessment notices the core team are obligated to address. Good work!

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After a bit, my EWFM arrived, with tail, and anecdotes about her journey. We had time to find and pose with the bespoke selfie frame. I rather liked it, though whoever produced it hadn’t got the memo about parkrun being aowalc (all one word, all lower case) but honestly, who cares when it was so obviously awesome! We had to do quite a lot of posing with it, and with others in our NHS mini meet up, which included actual NHS staff in proper scrubs that have seen action with blood and guts and all sorts of bodily fluids that we prefer not to think of. Phew, I’d be able to hang back if a medic was needed as this merry crew would be able to cover most eventualities. I could just focus on getting some good pre parkrun pics. Like to get in early with these, in case the gear has been packed away by the time I finish. Also, FYI we are more competent than we may appear at first glance in the photos. Just because we are looking in different directions doesn’t mean we aren’t on it, au contraire, it means we have all angles covered. You’re welcome. Also, emotional support animals are a good thing to bring along to a parkrun with you, especially ones in tailwalker colours that aren’t at all made out of old parkrun tailwalker high vis that was supposed to be returned to parkrun hq for recycling. Just to be even clearer. You are still welcome. That’s not an old, now redacted pop up sign either, no, I mean it isn’t, just proving my point.

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Next stop, volunteers briefing. This was really helpful, it meant you got a clear sense of who was doing what, an opportunity to ask questions. We were told which lanyards to pick up as tailwalkers, and told who was the RD for the day and where to find their number on the lanyards. If you were a brand new volunteer all this clarity would be especially reassuring. Me and my be-tailed buddy found out we’d have walkie talkies because we were extra important, and we got clarification on our duties re collecting cones etc on the way around. I like parkruns that bring the volunteers together in some way, whether that’s a team photo or just walking marshals out to their point on the course like at Sheffield Olympic Legacy Park junior parkrun as it’s a chance to get to know other volunteers. We had squillions of volunteers for our NHS take over junior event on the Sunday – you know what, I’m going to include some bonus photos of that here. You’ll feel like you have travelled in time.

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Then after a bit more smooching with other parkrunners, we were called together by the RD – who I learned was actually co-ED as well, to attend the first timers’ welcome. Again, this was really thorough, there is a proper map to explain the route, and plenty of clear explanations and opportunity to ask questions too. Yay. Nice expressive arm gestures too, I think the first timers’ welcomer would do a cracking zumba class lead too. You often find this on event teams, people are multi-skilled and versatile, an asset in any context. Or if not Zumba, then lead a cult, a benign cult, not a horrid one, something along the lines of, oh I don’t know, maybe a parkrun say? Yep, that would be it. Nice charismatic and welcoming to the fold. A great event to have as your first time everer as much as a regular or tourist I’m sure.

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So now we had been inducted and welcomed and all was good, we were issued with a first aid kit. My EWFM donned this much to my relief, if I’d had that as well as my scrubs I would have had nowhere to hide.

More and more parkrunners gathered. This is a busy parkrun, chilled, but popular. Turns out there had been promotion of the NHS celebratory event, so a local(ish) rehabilitation college had opted to come along with some of their students and supporters to do the 5k walk which was rather excellent.

The RD gave a briefing with the usual shout outs, mention of the NHS event, welcomes, thank the volunteers, milestones etc aided with a very good speaker system. You could certainly hear everything, although I was initially confused because the sound was coming from the speakers (obviously) which were quite a distance from where he was standing so it was a disembodied voice, like the Wizard of Oz of something but without the dry ice or lion, scarecrow and tinman for company. One consequence of the speaker system though, was that some parkrunners just talked more loudly through the briefing than ever. It really does bug me when people can’t just be quiet for the briefing it’s just such a basic courtesy and pretty much the only requirement. They may have heard it before, but others haven’t and it’s just rude. I wonder if, as parkrun has grown, participants maybe don’t always appreciate it is a volunteer run event that relies on its communities to happen. RDs and others in the core team deserve a bit more support, if you can’t volunteer then you could at least be quiet for briefings, that would be a start.

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Oh well. Soon enough we were counted down and awf!

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I watched the field run, jog, jeff and walk on by, and we two were in waiting to slot in at the back. There were some stragglers. A fair few, who came sprinting up to the back of the pack, so we paused to let them join in so we could be sure we were at the absolute back of the pack for effective chootling (chatting and pootling) purposes. We remembered we needed to channel our inner flamboyant performative selves for photo purposes in tribute to our much missed back of the packer. We tried our best, but couldn’t entirely sustain it, maybe we peaked too early.

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Because we waited for the latecomers, who then sprinted on past, we were a teeny bit behind the walkers who had set off with the rest of the pack. We walked briskly to catch them, and my EWFM checked out the amenities on the way past. In due course we came to a friendly marshal, who passed us the first of what were to be two walkie talkies, oh yes we were that important. And we did some negotiating re which cones to collect and which to leave in the possession of marshals, since those on the first lap would be stood down as we passed.

Eventually we caught up with the walkers who turned out to be part of the group from the Leicestershire Recovery College. Check out their t-shirts, carefully amended from ‘always here to help’, to just ‘always here!’ I’m not sure I quite got to the bottom of why, but it was hilarious. Apparently at one time they had staff tops in IKEA some of which said ‘here to help’ and some which said ‘happy to help’ also hilarious, I wonder what the criteria were for allocating them. There is a certain integrity in the wording of which I approve. There was a great turn out from the college who seemed to be really enjoying a companionable walk round in the stunning setting of Watermead. They took the time to appreciate their surroundings and take photos en route which is a great strategy if you are walking and talking around. It’s one I favour for sure, those photo pauses give your body a chance to reset if walking is painful.

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As the walkers ahead seemed to be in companionable step and chat, we hung back a little to give them some space having exchanged pleasantries. Besides, we had to collect our important walkie talkie and get training on it ‘you push and talk’. We also had to greet and photograph every marshal, and collect cones from the first lap to drop off at the start/finish area as we passed through on the waist of the figure of eight bit of the course – or bridge of the squished spectacles if you prefer. They do send round a sweeper vehicle of sorts, so anything that is too heavy or bulky to carry can be left, but where is the fun in that. Far better to see how much we could carry, or more accurately how much my EWFM could carry without dropping as one of us had to document her progress and clearly that would be me. It reminded us of Crackerjack and that ‘game’ at the end.

‘One of the games was a quiz called Double or Drop, where each of three contestants was given a prize to hold for each question answered correctly, but given a cabbage if incorrect. They were out of the game if they dropped any of the items awarded or received a third cabbage. While the winner took his or her pick from a basket of toys, every runner-up won a much-envied marbled propelling pencil as a prize, which became so popular that in 1961 Queen Elizabeth II, who visited the programme, was presented with Crackerjack pencils for her children Prince Charles and Princess Anne.‘

This game delivered the important life lesson to children that the winner takes it all, crushing disappointment can be snatched from the jaws of hope in an instant and what little you have may be taken away from you at any moment due to forces that you can neither understand nor control. It further demonstrates that the royal family get stuff without even having to show up, let alone carry so much as a single cabbage. I understand (by which I mean I’ve just made this up) that the show went on to inspire the cabbage soup diet. If you don’t know what that is, consider yourself truly blessed.

Anyway, she did very well, and we say some lovely sights along the way, and not just in the beauty of the marshals’ shining faces as we passed. Check out the walkie talkie handover, stuff of olympic relay teams.

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Towards the end of the first lap, we secured custody of a second walkie talkie, so now we were properly tooled up for the challenge of the second lap. We looked very busy and important, laden with first aid kit and walkie talkies and an air or capability and responsibility. First lap done and dusted, we were off round past the finish, which was buzzing with parkrunners who had already completed

and so to our next two laps, in a clockwise direction around King Lear’s Lake, I wonder why it’s called that, seems a bit odd.

The pace was chilled and the company excellent. We were joined by one of our number who had already finished his parkrun who was doing another lap purely because he’d seen some McDonalds litter en route. He hadn’t wanted to interrupt his run to pick it up, but didn’t want to leave the park without removing it. Of course, no kind act goes unpunished it seems, and now he looked like the sort of person that brought a McDonalds with him to parkruns for consumption afterwards. We know otherwise, and commend his actions. Hurrah. Also, check out his barcode athlete ID on his t-shirt. Classy.

Actually, now seems a good moment for an interlude of parkrunner portraits. These are courtesy of the proper official photographer on the day Mick Brown, actually, I think there may have been more than one. See if you can spot the proper NHS peeps and the Watermead Wavers, which is apparently a thing. A variant on the ‘seen a photographer‘ snapshots ubiquitous at many parkruns – and indeed other events. Some wavers look somewhat panicked, I think the excitement maybe got to them, there is no shame in that, it happens. Well done all.

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The circuit of the second lake brought even more exciting discoveries. There is lots of play equipment which I think has been particularly constructed as an enrichment activity for anyone walking at parkrun in general and tailwalkers who are trying to maintain a respectful distance from the walkers at the back to avoid crowding them. I can confidently report it’s harder to clamber the spider’s web than you might think, though there was no real spider in situ, mercifully. That bridge steppy thing? Quite hard not to fall off. Fortunately, my EWFM has perfected the art of falling off a log so that was fine and dandy too. We had some people still lapping us, including some especially euphoric because they’d never previously made it past the tailwalkers before #winningatparkrunchallenges hurrah! We helped the walking group. pose for photos at the stone circle, encouraging jumps and smiles and general joy. I think I might have seen a huge amount of invasive Himalayan balsam I hope not, that’s a real menace, nightmare to get rid of and crowds out everything else.

What are those statues at the other side of the lake. Oh wait, they are of King Lear, you know the end of that Shakespeare play. How splendid, also a bit random, but that’s OK, I like random things. And as you get around the other side of the lake you get closer to them and lo, we found a trio of swans posing perfectly, an echo of King Lear’s three daughter perchance? This route is most satisfactory.

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The route that brought us dinosaur skeletons and Shakespeare statue kept the greatest treasure for it’s furthest point. Dear reader, we found ourselves at Dog Poo Corner! This is quite a course landmark, a variation on Elisabeth’s Corner at Bushy parkrun, though the former, like the latter, has made it onto the official course description. You can see why, a triumph of design and utility. I don’t know how you get the honour of being allocated this role, whether it is a reward for good service or a random act of kindness who knows. I myself have undertaken volunteer marshal duties which involved standing in front of a dog poo bin at Endcliffe parkrun (though I think it was known as Sheffield Hallam parkrun at the time). It was my task to be a human bollard to stop parkrunners running into said bin. They could crash into me instead. On reflection, I’m still not entirely sure how that was preferable, but there you go. Incidentally, if you are reading this and contemplating volunteering but feeling a bit overwhelmed about whether you’d be up for this level of responsibility, fear not. All parkruns will give full training on all and any roles, and you can work up to any that you might consider daunting, or do as I did, buddy up with a friend to share the load, unless it’s a literal load of cones (which sounds like I’m swearing but I’m not) and you are me, in which case there is no need to share, you can make your parkrun buddy carry the load for you. You’re welcome.

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There really is an embarrassment of delights to take in along the route. Equipment to play on, vistas to marvel at, fellow parkrunners to cheer on or greet as they lapped us. Towards the end of the second lap, we had a bit of a regroup moment with some of the walkers. Most wanted to continue for the final lap, and so after a bit of chat about who was doing what, we continued onwards.

For the final lap, we were joined by one of the core team to accompany us round. Some of the marshals had been stood down, so she opted in just to make sure there was someone with local knowledge on the route in case of any incident. That was the official line, obvs I think it was the giddy cocktail of mixing the fabulous views with the fabulous company of the party at the back, who wouldn’t want to be part of that!

As we walked and talked, we got a bit more of the history of the venue. We had already fathomed that Watermead Country Park is actually pretty fabulous as a venue. What I didn’t know was that it’s a series of artificial lakes on old gravel pits, and been wonderfully developed in a way that is sensitive to wildlife and creative in terms of interpreting both the industrial and geological history of the site. There is an actual mammoth; Shakespeare references (nope, not sure why either, but jolly fun statuing); dinosaur skeletons; play and climbing equipment and best of all of course, a parkrun! The parkrun gets a mention on the parks Wikipedia page which is always a cause for celebration. In fact, the county council is to be applauded for proactively hosting the parkrun. Seems that the North side of the park was less well used than the other side, which is presumably the South side. It was felt a parkrun would bring life and footfall to the area, and so it has. This is an example of an authority really courting parkrun and helping it come to be – this is also similar to the development of the junior parkrun at Sheffield Olympic Legacy Park, right at the design stage a 1km lap was incorporated so it would be perfect for the 2k junior event.

It was explained by our walking companion on the last lap that there was some initial apprehension by park rangers about whether it might cause damage to sensitive habitat areas, but everyone has worked together to make it a success and everyone’s a winner! Obvs. Decisions about the exact route take into account when other groups need access. So the reason the first loop is run first is because then the track is free for users who need to access the sailing area, or was it the fishing area, anyway, other people who need right of way. All good. Partnership working at its best. I guess that’s what brought along so many first timers walking and talking and enjoying the route too. The NHS celebration day having been promoted through the relevant NHS trust. Hurrah!

All this walking and talking made the second lap pass speedily, and in seemingly next to no time we were back at the finish, where a guard of honour in high vis flanked the funnel to welcome us in. Whilst most parkrunners had departed, a cheery few gave a rousing cheer to the returning walkers. It was lovely and made you feel all fuzzy and nice inside.

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We were duly timed across the finish. My EWFM taking the final finish token and her number and name and time all being carefully recorded to help with the results processing. A few metres away there was a huge banner, that would have doubled as a windbreak in inclement conditions, proclaiming SCANNING, which, coincidentally is exactly where the scanners were so you could go to be scanned. I know, what were the chances?

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The fun wasn’t over yet though, we had to do more photo taking. I tried to take some photos of the walking party, and did so quite brilliantly – though using their camera so you’ll have to take my word for it. However, it involved getting one person to hold the selfie frame in front of the group standing a bit further back so they were all within it and lots of jumping and waving. I’ve always been good at making my own entertainment.

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The team were busy packing away and sorting, but not too busy for one of their number to do a big reveal on how to take the perfectly flattering selfie. It’s genius. You basically have to lie on the ground and look up, slightly coquettishly, and voila, a flattering angle. It’s a bit of a scramble lying down and even more so getting up again, but fortunately my EWFM is very amendable to direction so we managed to get us both in shot, then decided we needed the RD too, and then a bystander pointed out – quite corrrectly – that really the photographer also needed to be on ground level to get the angle right. I did wonder at this point whether by that logic we might as well all have been standing up, but where would the fun be in that. After much rolling about in the grass to get the angles just so, the perfect picture was nailed. I know, we look glorious.

I don’t know if the selfie service on the grasses of the meadow is a service offered to all visiting parkrunners, but you could ask politely, you might get lucky, and if not, you can always have a go yourself. It’s intrinsically hilarious, getting a photo at the end is just a bonus.

Did take a while to get up again though, allow extra time for such shenanigans in our post parkrun parkfaffing timeline calculations.

Next step, the coffee van, in situ near the car park, serving pricey, but excellent coffee. I was glad of a flat white to fuel me as we strolled back through the park to the Hope and Anchor pub. It was very sticky, I didn’t mention that before did I? It was a very humid day, and we even had some rolls of thunder as we went round our final lap, though the heavens held off from opening until later on.

Back at the Hope and Anchor pub, we had a bit of inside outside dilemma. We opted for outside, sat down, and it immediately started raining big fat sploshing drops of rain, so we headed inside again. Breakfast was plentiful and cheap. We went for vegan and vegetarian options which included sausages, beans, mushrooms, all the usual suspects in plentiful quantities and was an absolute bargain. There was also an option for a breakfast of frozen yoghurt and chopped fruit so basically a rebranded ice cream sundae, what’s not to like? Cooked breakfast for less than a fiver though. Great option. I’m glad I’d got the proper coffee first, but the put was great for chatting and food and leisurely debrief of the morning. It was also where the core team go for results processing. There is also a very good VR postbox, if you are into appreciating such historic offerings. I am. Show me a good stink pipe in its original location and I’m happy all day.

And so, eventually, that was that.

Another parkrun done and dusted. A particularly fine one. Of course all parkruns are magnificent, but this one was especially so. The setting is gorgeous, the atmosphere chilled and inclusive of walkers and the natives friendly and welcoming.

Thank you lovely Watermead Country Park parkrun team for the great welcome to your splendid event. You are all stars and your hard work has created something really special in the parkrun universe. You can tell its creation was a genuine labour of love. Hurrah.

I’d toadally come back again.

Fantastic venue, fantastic team, you really should come and experience it for yourself, or if you already have experienced it, keep on going back for more! Not only are the surrounding lush and gorgeous, the high vis heroes are just as stunning, the coffee classy and the pub welcoming. This is truly a parkrun with all the things.

That’s all for now, I hope our parkrun paths cross again soon. In the meantime, if you want to prolong your parkrun fix, and apropos of nothing, have you seen this? No? Have a gander. It’s a little ‘cheeky’ but made me smile. I am shallow though, if you are too, it might yet have you singing along.

Oh, and for triangulation purposes, this was a particularly well documented parkrun. Check out this video account too from Andrew Pick. Very comprehensive too.

and wait there’s more, because Isabella Sparkle was also filming away. juniors who have met each other through the wonders of parkrun. I know!

AND we have an event report for week 88 too, all the things courtesy of Iain and James Hickman

Seems word gets round when you have a particularly fine parkrun destination in traveling distance. Hurrah!

And if you want even more, you could always browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.

Thanks for stopping by dear reader, it’s been grand. Good luck with your selfie and parkrun adventures still to come.

🙂

Shady goings on at Middleton Woods parkrun

An absolute gem!

I properly loved this parkrun. Of course in theory all parkruns are equal in their loveliness, but I think we all recognise some are more equal than others. Middleton Woods parkrun is a first among equals, a true hidden gem. Once again, the parkrun fairies spun their fairy magic, as this isn’t a place I’d ever have thought to visit were it not for parkrun, and I would have so missed a trick.

As is often the best way to discover lovely things, I made it to Middleton Woods pretty much on a whim. I wanted a parkrun not too far away as I needed to be back to Sheffield in time to show a potential lodger round, this one says he likes frogs too, so wouldn’t want to blow it by being late for the viewing. I wanted a new to me parkrun, with a traily feel, and to just have a nice chilled event, testing my legs a bit. I’ve been volunteering a fair bit recently, which I enjoy hugely, but even so, I just wanted a week where I could do entirely my own thing and see how my limbs held out. Oh, on that note, last week I was volunteering because we had a parkwalk special event at Millhouses parkrun last week, which went pretty well on the whole. Lots of tweaking to encourage new parkwalkers to attend. However, this week, I just fancied a change from volunteering and going to an event where I could just be invisible, as far as is possible given my height, width ratio. Middleton Woods was in the list of Nendy (nearest event(s) not done yet) and just appealed. I had a look at their Facebook page, and ta da …

they promised shade!

I am not good in the heat. Shade would be excellent. Mind you, fyi, they didn’t mention the bitey critters also feasting on the lovely bounty of the forest, i.e. any exposed flesh from a passing parkrunner. I have many insect bites post parkrun, but it is a small price to pay for a lovely event, and a memento to remind me of the event for the week(s) ahead. Super.

I didn’t pay too much more attention to the website info pre event, that was good enough. There was a satnav code to head too, and country parks are always easy to find, there’ll be a visitor centre and isn’t there a mention of a golf club or something near the start? Yep, easy.

I headed off confidently. I was quite smug about leaving crazily early, as I almost immediately got held up in traffic on the motorway for a good 20 mins for unclear reasons. Thank goodness I’d allowed plenty of extra time. There was one of those signs saying ‘traffic held due to incident’ but I couldn’t be sure if the incident was alien landing/ abduction, tornado, swan on the motorway or accident. I felt it wasn’t an accident because I think they’d have said. Unless it was a typo? I don’t think it was a typo. I reckon it was an alien abduction, because when we got moving again there was absolutely nothing to see by queuing police cars. No evidence at all. Exactly, my point! What could be more suggestive of paranormal/ extra-terrestrial activity.

My smugness slightly wavered as it dawned on me another option would have been to leave half an hour later and miss the delay altogether, but that’s ok, because nobody will ever know. Once we got moving again, the journey was uneventful. Soon there was the little arrival flag showing on the sat nav. It’s quite sweet isn’t it, the bannercheck flag at the end of your journeys. Almost as much fun as those toll roads with multiple pay booths that makes you feel like you are at the start of Whacky Races when you go through? Oh, just me then. Anyways, I sailed past the point on the map as very obviously it was directing me to go onto the premises of some bike shop, and not the entry to the country park at all. I headed onwards, getting increasingly confused, before using my skill and judgement to pull over and check the instructions on the official Middleton parkrun website blah de blah.

Location of start
The event starts close the main car park at Middleton Park Bike Hub

Facilities
Located at the start and finish of the course is the Bike Hub, complete with toilets and a café. There is also a children’s play area and a visitor centre located at the bottom of the course. The Bike Hub will also have bikes available to use after the event as well as various trails able to be explored in the park.

Not a golf course and a country park then. My bad. Oh well, I’d allowed plenty of time and no-one would ever know. Anyway, if you check out the loos for at the venue they have golfers on them for some weird reason. Not literal golfers nailed to them, that would be stupid, just pictures of them, swinging their clubs (not a euphemism) which isn’t stupid, weird or unexpected at all. Maybe my confusion was a result of repressed prophetic impulses. Yes, that must be it!

Oh and another thing about the loos, seeing as we are talking about the facilities. I had a little wave of schadenfreude (yes I’m shallow) that the gents was out of order so all the men would get to experience the endurance test of queuing for the loo that is the curse of women in search of a pee. You can’t see the sign very clearly as I bottled retaking it as I have sufficient self awareness (just) to get that taking photos of the exterior of public toilets might be perceived as unnecessarily odd. Then again, aren’t you pleased to have that venue intel? I navigate these risks so you don’t have to. #livinglifeontheedge Don’t judge me too harshly though, as the consequential karma was immediate. Availing myself of the facilities incurred a real sense of jeopardy as the loo door lock doesn’t quite secure, and my arms weren’t long enough to hold the door closed whilst powdering my nose. I survived the ordeal, but you have been warned.

Anyway, you are distracting me by asking about the loos, I’m getting out of sequence. Where was I? Oh yes, back to the bike place. It is genuinely a slightly weird arrival point as it does feel like you are pulling in to the front yard of a bike shop initially, but as you curve in it becomes apparent there is indeed a mahoosive park behind and also ample free parking.

It is a venue that straight away peaks your curiosity. For non trail bikers, the landscape has a slightly surreal aspect. It has been contoured to created interesting and exciting bike trails. These are dusty mounds with clumps of wild flowers bursting out between the curves of the tracks. It felt a bit like I imagine Spain to be, or some other foreign climate. It was pretty cool. Though ironically, cool, because of looking hot. An arid landscape of boulders and wild flowers, dust and blue skies. I was early, despite having narrowly avoided both alien abduction AND accidentally driving on to Scotland because of ignoring my satnav. #winning

I parked up, and excitedly espied the first of the ‘caution runners’ signs, which is always a boon when touristing.

It means you are in the right place AND there is a high probability the parkrun will happen as the team are busy setting the course out too. Of course, nothing is a given. I heard later some friends of mine attending this parkrun some time ago had a nervous wait at the start line as the key for the defibrillator had gone walkabouts and the event couldn’t start without it. It was found, don’t worry. All’s well that ends well as the saying goes. It just made the event more memorable. Except, having checked the Facebook page and run report for that event, there is no mention of it, so maybe they were confusing the event with another parkrun. We may never know…

Unsurprisingly, once you are in the know, there were many people with bikes around, or ‘cyclists’ as I understand is the correct technical term for them. Also, some parkrunners with tourist kit. I was sure I recognised them, but this can happen at parkruns because the same types pop up at every parkrun event. There is usually someone dressed as a dinosaur, a scattering of milestone tees, a pre-wedding parkrun party, cow buff wearers that kind of thing. We sort of circled one another for a while, before I plucked up courage to go and talk to them. Phew, we thought it highly likely we had been at the same parkruns in recent history, but hadn’t previously spoken. This meant I didn’t have to do that really awkward wracking my brains trying to remember what their names were, though obviously will do next time.

After I’d had my precarious precautionary pee, without being busted in situ, I had a little pootle about to take in the scenery. There was a finish/start pop up sign, but further inquiry revealed that this is in fact an old one, used to mark the finish, the newer pop up sign with the event name on it is at the start which is a little walk from the car park adjacent gathering area. That’s where we made our way to next. I think maybe if you are newbie, if you hang around the car park area that’s possibly where any first timers’ welcome takes place, because I missed that by heading to the start. However, I can report there was a loveliness of friendly marshals around to point you the right direction and answer any questions, so maybe it’s done in a more informal and personal way. Castle parkrun in Sheffield is like that, relatively small with a high proportion of regulars, so if you rock up for the first time you are pretty much guaranteed a bespoke meet and greet service. Not actually park and ride, but pretty close. Oh, and when I asked about leaving my keys, they very helpfully suggested the RD took possession of them. I don’t know if I got special treatment because they had their eye on my 2007 toyota yaris, but I think not. Though if I was foolish enough to leave it behind at the end of the event, then I think it would have been fair enough to treat it the same as all lost property, and after a reasonable pause claim absolute possession. You’d need to check if availing yourself of such services.

There follows an immersive slideshow experience of the walk down to the start. It is a literal walk down, as well as a figurative one, nice gentle slope down into the shade of the trees.

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As we were walking we saw a fine ‘to the start’ sign, which we both paused to photograph. Turns out, we both have a friend who collects photos of parkrun signs, and – you won’t believe this – it’s the same person! What are the chances? There must be a gazillion such people in Huddersfield alone! Anyway, the sign was duly captured, and next stop, the pop up name sign, and mandatory photographs behind and in front of, and alongside this.

There was real comedic value in this activity, as the event team cunningly position the sign atop a particularly slippery and steep incline. As you try to position yourself to take the best shot your feet slide away beneath you. Only the most dedicated and tenacious of parkrunners can capture the perfect shot. Oh, and mountain goats in theory too I imagine, but what they offer in agility they lose in relation to their willingness and ability to operate a camera. Shame, not dissing them, just saying it how it is. Not to worry though, we parkrun visitors assisted one another, and all was well. Milling and chilling and avoiding tumbling down the bank in the starting area.

Regular Middletonians pitched up, and other park users came on by. Including this rather fine Sharpie. Not the pen. But the Shar Pei dogs. You know, the ones with a reputation for loyalty aren’t they a Chinese breed? I’ve never met one before, but I’m sure I’ve seen some in various animated films. And wasn’t there one that lived at a railway station waiting for its master who never came home? Nope, just checked that was a Japanese Akitok dog Hachika I’ve not thought about them all that much beyond wrinkled skin and problems breathing, but the accompanying human was happy to let me say hello. Oh my, I have never felt a coat so soft. It was extraordinary. What a sweet hound. I had no idea. It has a diet of raw fish, that it seems is the secret of perfect skin and hair. Wouldn’t work for me on account of me being allergic to fish, and also a vegan-curious vegetarian anyway. This may be why I have nailed a should-be iconic hair style all of my own, that of ‘being dragged through a hedge backwards’ and indeed, goddess of the same, I rock the whole look. Someone has to, and to be fair, there are other followers to be find, most especially post parkruns. Heard of the descriptor ‘parkrun fresh?’ well then, rest my case. Definitely a thing

Ooh, well this is nice! We went from the arid plains down into a lovely shaded wooded area. Tall trees towered over us and it was properly cool and lovely. It was sooooooooooooo nice to be in the cool shade of the trees after being uncomfortably hot for as long as I can remember, definitely most of last week just for starters.

There was meeting and greeting going on, and gentle chit chat, and a bit of speculation about which direction we’d be running in. Well I’d be walking but others might run. After a bit, regulars started to gather at what was clearly the start line.

Approaching us from afar, marching abreast down the hill like the men in black were the start team. I mean look at them, they even had an outrider on a bike. Only really important people have hi-vis escorts.

Turns out I was wrong though. A local quipped back ‘more like clowns to the left, jokers to the right …’ I’m sure the locals know best, better go with that analysis. You really can’t put a price on insider knowledge. As for that outrider? Probably some sort of community supervision official. That must be it.

It was a really jolly start though. Some late arrivals were cheered in with good humour and enthusiasm. There was a rousing RD welcome calling out milestones, birthdays, tourists. Oh yes, one claiming to be from South Africa (a bit of niche J Burg reference I think. A joke is going round in some circles to shout Johannesburg in response to any tourist shout outs to ensure gaining the furthest travelled kudos. I’m not sure about this, as it would be rough if you really had travelled from miles away and were thwarted by a fib. It would be even more annoying if you were actually from Johannesburg but hadn’t called out due to coyness and a tendency to let opportunities pass you by. Then again, I’m obviously shallow and contrary as well as being the goddess of people who have been dragged through a hedge backwards, as I actually thought that this shout out was quite funny. Even more hilariously, they really were from South Africa according to the subsequent write up from the event. I’m even more confused now.

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Local warnings were mainly about bikes, because there are many, and occasionally horses. Both the horses and bikes have accompanying humans. Huge thanks for volunteers, it’s a relatively small event, and I think they struggle, though this week there was a good turnout of marshals, partly because there is race taking place one evening this week I think, or maybe just because it’s been sooooooooooooooooooo hot, running around loses its appeal in these circumstances.

There was a good description of the course. I didn’t take too much note of it as I’d be at the back anyway. Definitely downhill bits, and then some killer uphill bits, and you get to do it all again which is good, because you’ll appreciate the sights more second time around. Oh, and there was a photographer, not me, a proper one, so that’s a boon too. I’m not sure if we were just lucky, or if that is quite a regular thing.

They could have just said the course is basically the shape of an upside-down snail that has lost its shell. I don’t know why they don’t just say that on the course description on the website. Instead they say:

Course Description
Two laps on a mixture of path and trail. The start and finish is close the main car park at Middleton Park Bike Hub. The course starts down the road from the rose garden. Head down the hill, and turn right to enter the woods. Following the trail through the woods on the path, continue and take a left to come up behind the bandstand. Turn right on to the path next to the band stand, then turn right again to pass between the band stand and visitors centre. Carry on alongside the boating lake, turn right & then bear left to enter the woods, follow this trail up to Nick’s View, circle around the back of the rose garden and back to the downhill section. Complete the second lap & this time after the rose garden for the turn left towards the bike hub to arrive at the finish.

and it looks like this – I’ve improved the image I think.

You’re welcome.

I’m not sure whether or not to give this feedback to the team. I don’t want to undermine them when they are clearly doing their best, but really, it’s quite an oversight. And it is quite a lovely snail to boot… Maybe their ED has molluscophobia? I can think of no other plausible explanation.

In due course, it was time for awf:

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I slotted in towards the back. Watching runners streaming ahead. Quite soon, I found myself pretty much on my own, and able to enjoy the tree cover all to myself.

This was interspersed with a cheery interaction with the odd marshals with the odd interaction with one of the cheery marshals that were to be found decorating the route. They were all excellent at cheering, clapping and directional pointing. One was also expert in camera pointing too. A winning team.

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Whilst it’s true there was a lot of uphill, this meant there is also significant down hilliness which was just joyful. So joyful, I even had a little experimental joggle. It is a pretty good surface, maybe the odd loose grit making some areas slightly slippy, but nothing scary at all. Almost immediately it triggered some of my leg and foot issues, but to be honest, the real obstacle to movement was that I hadn’t put on a sports bra. There is little point these days at parkruns, given I can only walk. But I can report that having a joggle created way too much jiggle and short of running the whole route with one boob cupped in each hand which is a) a terrible look and b) terribly uncomfortable and c) not altogether practical I gave up pretty quickly. It was a nice feeling whilst it lasted though. I really miss running. It wasn’t as if I was ever even remotely good at it, but it is the sense of freedom it can bring. Oh well. Got a photo though, hurrah! Thank you proper photographer. His photographs are here on the Middleton Woods parkrun Facebook page.

I took photos too, runners who were lapping me, or who I espied amongst the trees, running along parallel paths.

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Not gonna lie, pretty chuffed about the flying feet pics, even if they were by accident. All down to my smartphone – did I mention I’ve just got one? Game changer.

As prophesied by those in the know, you do get to take it all in a bit more second time around. It’s such an amazing space. Not just extraordinary trees and an aura of green tranquility, but a pond, and stairways to hidden rose gardens, and swans – or a swan certainly. Seen portrayed in 2d, then 3d and then in glorious reality. Lovely. Oh and the noise of gibbons, swinging through the trees overhead, only that turned out to be a squirrel, but honestly, an easy mistake to make

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Lovely, isn’t it?

I slowed down to the point of reverse, and was overtaken by the parkwalker with the tail still a little way behind. Marshals waited patiently for those of us at the back to pass on by. The encouragement was consistent from start to finish which is always a boon, and never a given.

So I jiggle joggled down the hills and heaved my weary carcass up them. Eventually you exit the forest back towards the gathering point which is where the finish is – and one of the snail antennae if you’ve been concentrating. There is a slight challenge in the final few hundred yards as you have to decide whether to slalom through the gap in the low barriers on the path, or to hurdle over them. Both are legitimate approaches.

and then you get to see the smiling, bright eyed faces of the finish funnel crew, cheering you over the line.

Oh hang on, looks like the RD did a strategic photo bomb of the scanner, let me try again

I daresay they are friends really. Scanner isn’t hopping mad at all, just having a bit of a riverdance moment I imagine.

I wasn’t the final finisher for a change, so waited for the tail to come on through.

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Then I remembered about my keys and retrieved them, before heading to the cafe.

The bike cafe is excellent. A big inside area, an assortment of cakes and hot drinks and a limited breakfast menu. I just had a flat white and then sat outside with my new besties, for a mini parkfaff session. It was great actually. We had lots of parkrunner friends in common it turns out, and worked out from the ‘compare’ function on the 5k app that we’ve actually been at the same event on three other occasions. Pavilion Gardens, Castle and Concord. Isn’t that amazing, I love the parkrun world and how it connects people, and I’m grateful to the volunteers who develop the fun apps to make such discoveries possible.

Oh, and the advice is to wear a helmet at the cafe, though it wasn’t being enforced and we got away with just wearing sunshades.

Oh, and by the way, the first finisher was a forest. This just feels apt. Not just Birnam wood that can upsticks it seems. Trees are awesome. They can truly do amazing things. No wonder forest bathing is a thing. I mean not jumping in the tub with the parkrunner forest, that would be inappropriate unless specifically invited, but just soaking in the ambience and loveliness of trees to restore your inner equilibrium and be done, for now, with existential angst.

Try it.

You’ll like it.

I promise.

You’re welcome.

So thank you lovely Middleton Wood parkrun team for a most gorgeous event what stars you all are. Shining brightly in the forest. Genuinely a hidden gem. Happy memories of a happy day 🙂

Same again next week somewhere?

In the meantime, if you want to prolong your parkrun fix, you could always browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.

Salcey Forest parkrun where unicorns prance and the sun always shines.

Up until today I thought the only parkrun with a naturalised endemic unicorn population was Bushy parkrun. The latter parkrun also having deer – including spectacular stags, parakeets and skylarks in season. And also potential celebrity sightings of PSH amongst others. However, every parkrun day provides edutainment, as well as community coffee opportunities, and now I know better. Salcey Forest parkrun has to have them. FACT! As you pass through the forest on the parkrun route, the cathedral like trees tower overhead and with brilliant sunshine above (sunshine guaranteed at this parkrun I feel sure), shafts of light penetrate the canopy to illuminate gorgeous glades and dancing wildflower heads at the sides of the trails. Everywhere you look there are inviting paths, massive fallen trunks and intriguing constructions and signs to lure you off the beaten track and further and further into the woods.

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Honestly, you can quite see how it children in fairy tales are want to wander ever deeper into such environments. In fairy tales, granted, it doesn’t always end well, but here, the forest surrounds are properly gorgeous. Ferns and mosses and wildflower borders abound, this has to be optimum unicorn habitat. Also, the forest feels vast, unicorns need quite a bit of space, and seem able to share it with Zog, ancient ‘druid oaks’ and an abundance of wildlife too. They are shy though, and whilst I’d properly swear I got a glimpse of a flying mane or flicking tail out of the very corner of my eye, catching just the briefest of glimpses as the impressive creatures galloped light-footed through some distant glade, There is one in this picture for sure, can you see it?

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Wait, you aren’t quite convinced. Sigh. Well, I’m ahead of you. I accept you may demand more physical proof. Well, dear reader, I have it!Not me to be fair, but the high vis hero who was on finish tokens duty at the parkrun today. It seems one of her duties as a volunteer is to clear the finish funnel of unicorn scat. It’s basic health and safety, as even if it lands ins attractively rainbow coloured droppings, it is still a potential slip hazard for sprinting parkrunners. If you don’t believe me, check out the volunteer grid. I think it’s recorded as ‘other’ on the roster and isn’t actually credited as ‘Unicorn Poop Scooper’ so an element of trust there I concede. Though it should be obvs, they have ‘Car Park Marshal’ after all, I guess it’s like the ‘Fluffy the Emu Wrangler’ role at Nambour parkrun Australia, a bit too niche to have as an option on the drop down menu for all events, but very real all the same.

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I think we can all agree that animal scat is a good indicator of animal populations in wildlife surveys, so why not believe the evidence of your eyes and check out the massive pile of unicorn poo that the volunteer collected. So much, that she was able to fashion it into an improvised stool (pun intended) so she could carry out her role seated and take home the bounty to put on her roses later. If you think ordinary horse manure is good for roses you should see the impact of unicorn droppings. It makes your roses rainbow coloured with glitter tipped petals, and they smell just divine. Take a bucket and some rubber gloves with you next time you are in the forest and you too might get lucky. Food for thought, I’m sure you’ll agree. Our finish token giver outer was a tad optimistic about the quantities unicorns produce though, she was never going to fill that whole bag for life to be fair, but fair play to her for her optimistic outlook, always a joy to behold. I wasn’t sure whether or not to tell her she’d smeared a bit of unicorn poo on her leggings though, I decided against, I mean she probably knew already, and if she didn’t well, why make her feel all self conscious about something she could do nothing about? Precisely.

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Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. It’s just that I was very excited about the unicorns, and if you take nothing else away from this account of Salcey Forest, remember that. Remember it, but also, don’t tell too many people, don’t want them getting spooked needlessly.

As my regular reader, you will know I always agonise over where to go for my parkrun fix. Needing places I can reach from Sheffield and that are parkwalker friendly, with nearby parking to limit how far I have to walk in addition to the completing the 5k. This week though, I was spared endless angst and indecision because the event choice was obvious. My EWFM and now parkrunner friend too had confirmed that she would confirmed by all to be an absolute cow by the end of her parkrun today and who would want to miss that? She’d chosen Salcey Forest parkrun as it is reachable for parkrunning friends coming down from oop norf or up from darn sarf. I would come from Sheffield, she would come from Londonshire, we could meet sort of in the middle. Fortunately, looking at the official Salcey Forest parkrun website blah de blah it did seem to also be a parkrun with all the things. Parking, cafe, forest etc.

The course is excitingly all one lap too:

Course Description – The course consists of one lap in a clockwise direction on a mixture of gravel and trail through the forest. The start and finish are close to the main car park, café and toilets. Trail shoes are advised during winter months or after periods of rain. Due to the terrain the course is only suitable for purpose built running buggies.

Facilities – Early bird parking (between 8am-11am) costs £3.

and it looks like this:

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So easy to remember as it looks a bit like, a bit like…. actually, I have no idea what it looks like. The wrong trousers half heartedly drawn as in Wallace and Gromit? Does that help at all? Or the tail end of a cut in half mermaid, washed up on a beach and partially decomposed? Possibly not, but the thing is there are lots of smiling marshals and where marshals fear to tread there are lots of cones so no worries.

Oh actually, I think it’s worth giving some blah de blah from the Salcey Forest official website too. There’s loads to do there, and this write up won’t do even the parkrun justice, let alone the whole Forest.

‘Located only 7 miles from the centre of Northampton, Salcey Forest is an oasis of nature and history, This magnificent woodland has many miles of ancient wood banks, building remains and ancient trees. The ‘druids’, or veteran oaks, are rare and amazing wildlife habitats, and some of the old oaks are over 600 years old. See what you can spot on your visit to the medieval royal hunting forest. We’ve got endless walking trails, a family cycling trail, adventure play area and even an onsite café selling tasty homemade meals and cakes in a warm, friendly environment.]

You need to go and explore for yourself really, look out for Zog trails too. Unicorns and speedy parkruns aren’t the only things flying around Salcey Forest of a Saturday morning you’ll find.

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What’s that. You are worried about me calling my friend a complete cow? But she was going to be, she now is! It’s true! She is definitively a complete cow now and she is owning it. The thing is, some parkrunners like to get out and about and visit different parkrun venues. It’s a great way to meet up with parkrunning buddies you’ve acquired on line over the years and also to see parts of the country you might never otherwise visit. Welcome to the parallel universe that is parkrun tourism. It was years before I twigged that this was a thing and fun too. My EWFM has been a faster learner than I, embracing parkrun tourism from the off. So it is today was the occasion of her fiftieth different parkrun venue. I know, exciting! The first parkrunner to complete 100 distinct parkrun venues was somebody by the name of Cowell, so to complete one hundred different parkruns is to complete your Cowell. To complete fifty, i.e. half of them – are you getting this now – is to complete the Cow. See what they’ve done there. I know, clever. So it was, should my parkrunning buddy moove round the course as plan she’d be a confirmed cow at the end of it. This, naturally enough, was a cause for celebration. Cup cakes would be lovingly baked and brought; companions would be in attendance, many would gather. Hurrah!

There was some pre event angst, as in the lead up to the event it was looking low on volunteers. Many parkruns have seemed to struggle to get enough high vis heroes for their events post pandemic. It’s hard not to find this dispiriting at times. A fair few have had to cancel, or gone ahead and faced grumbling from participants when things don’t go smoothly because they are too short of help to have everything run smoothly. Case in point Cardiff parkrun last week which someone attended and then complained because the finish funnel was disorganised, when the poor team at Cardiff had been begging for volunteers all week, considered cancelling, then gamely went ahead with very limited help only to get grief from a parktouristing visitor. Not a good look. It’s easy to see why the most dedicated of core team volunteers end up getting burnt out. Anyway, a gracious call for more help went out. Nice work on their social media channels I think we can all agree

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As a fair few of us wanted to make sure the bovine transfiguration came to pass satisfactorily, it meant a number of us would be gracing the forest. Word went round and hands went up, various people messaged in to offer their services. This included the parents of a parkrunning friend who resides in Germany. Producer of the legendary entertainment that is the Quarantine Quiz. A bilingual quiz for and by parkrunners, compered by fancy dress sporting and 3d printing genius it is worth a watch. Grew out of the pandemic and endures. The questions have nothing whatsoever to do with parkrun, but are posed by parkrunners, often from parkrun destinations, check it out. Like and subscribe etc. The producer’s mum and dad reside in Northampton, but a stone’s throw(ish) from this parkrun and they too would come along. One to complete the parkrun and one to volunteer, hurrah! The rota looked a lot healthier, it would be cow a go go. Which is good in this context. New experiences for some, possibly for us all, as I think the whole cow herd were newbies to the venue. How exciting!

I lay awake all night largely due to usual insomnia, but also pimped up by worrying about over sleeping and a dash of being excited about how the day would unfold. When the alarm went off at stupid o’clock I was already wide awake, and had been listening to an increasingly rowdy dawn chorus through my open bedroom window for some time. Up and out before I had a chance to overthink the small hours issue. It was promising to be a bright sunshiney day, but with some early morning fog on the way down, that soon burnt away. The drive from Sheffield was over long, but straightforward. One diversion and had to pass one horrific looking accident on the motorway going down to Northampton. The sort that makes you shudder to behold.

I arrived in good time, and the venue is easy to find being well sign posted. I parked up near the cafe and visitors’ centre area but in fact you can park a bit closer to the start if you arrive fractionally later and have the car park marshal in situ to wave you on. It makes little odds though, either way. I was confused by the parking metres. The first one I approached was coins only, then if you go round the block there was one that took cards. A further machine at the car park nearest the start required you to download a parking app WHICH IS REALLY ANNOYING, though you can also pay by phoning I think. It’s just three pounds for Saturday morning early bird, which is fair enough, and takes you to 11, which allows for a certain amount of post parkrun faffing but possibly not enough for all. The other big win, is lots of loos for the mandatory for me precautionary pee. I was especially grateful for this after the long drive. Apart from the fact that I wasn’t clever enough to operate the taps – but nor was the other woman availing herself of the facilities to be fair – it was in good order. Spoiler alert, we worked it out between us, but I still think the water pressure wasn’t reaching all the sinks. Leave enough time to fathom the plumbing before hand is my advice, otherwise you might be waving your hand in entirely the wrong dimension.

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Parked up, I asked the kindly marshal for directions to the start, which she patiently gave. As I glanced in the direction she was pointing in I could see a sea of parkrun pink, and all was well with the world. I ambled towards the parkrun posse, passed the ‘caution runners’ signs and through the metaphorical looking glass into the parallel parkrun universe for a morning of forest bathing, cakery and chootling (chatting and pootling) what’s not to like?

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One of our number was to be parkwalking, but alas, had woken practically blinded by an insect bite overnight. Disaster! I had brought jam jars all the way from Sheffield to pass on to her! Oh, and it looked both spectacular and agonising. Have you ever seen any of those reality TV shows about botched cosmetic surgery? It was the before correction picture, not gonna lie. Anyway, I went to ask the RD if anyone was needed given she couldn’t come and I’d be walking anyway. Actually, someone else had already volunteered to fill the breach, but I could too, albeit the blue high vis – which everyone knows is the most flattering of the options available – had already been bagsied, so I’d have to improvise with the pink. No great hardship there, in fact a win, as in honesty I am the slowest participant anyway, so ended up flying the walking flag by valiantly walking and talking – twalking – round with my EWFM cow bestie, but hey, making walking visible at parkrun is still a desirable outcome isn’t it, so all the yays,.

High vis donned, there was the important work of pre parkrun photo taking. It has to be done. Here are some (of many) offerings, have you spotted the nearly a complete cow participant yet. It’s like looking for unicorns in the ancient forests, you think it will be impossible, but once you get your eye in, there’s no mistaking it. We were in for a devil of a time!

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Once we’d done all our meeting and greeting, and round one of our photo taking, a call went up for the first timers’ welcome. A tourist was undertaking this role too. I was a bit dubious about how easy this would be for a tourist, but turns out, she has completed the course previously, and is also a hugely experienced volunteer so of course it was a splendid welcome and intro. The route is apparently basically left, right, right, left, right again, left right etc. …. or, just keep faith in the marshals! They are at every single turn point bar one, where there is an embarrassment of riches cones wise so really no getting lost unless you charge ever onward pushing marshals aside in your hurry to pb. It was a jolly mood. There were milestones and tourists – including from Cardiff actually, now I come to think of it, and a pleasing scattering of first time everers. An attentive semi circle of new to Salcey Forest tourists listened and then moved aside so the first time everers, of whom I think there were 8, could have a separate intro to how it all worked.

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It was a tight ship, and as soon as the first timers’ had been satisfactorily briefed and welcomed, it was time for the Run Director’s briefing. Again, this was very positive, and very thorough. Tourists were welcomed. The wannabee cow was identified for their very own round of applause, milestone runners and volunteers were acknowledged and applauded. The RDs canine companion was an enthusiastic participant and so was led away to be less distracting, were they made their disappointment evident. Being separated from your companion human is a tough call it seems.

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As the path can be a bit narrow (actually it’s a great width) the RD called people forward to make their way down to the start in order of expected times. Pleasingly, those of us expected to complete in over 35 minutes were referred to as ‘the elite runners’. We elites liked this a lot.

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So parkrunners ready, timers ready, and then awf we went, the finish team watching us disappear down the arch of trees into the land of moss and stone and unicorn and ancient oaks. The timers moving back to the finish funnel area as we departed on our 5k romp round the trails.

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Actually, that photo might have been towards the end of the parkrun with parkrunners returning triumphant, but a bit of artistic licence between parkrunning friends is allowable I’m sure. Awf we went. I slotted in at the back with my nearly a cow companion. It’s nice having a cow to walk alongside, they are soothing to be around. No wonder Jack had such a hard time parting with his cow. Personally, I wouldn’t have sold my cow for any number of beans, not even magic ones. A cow is for life not just for Christmas.

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As it is a one lap course, and me and the nearly cow were mooving slowly at a walk, very quickly the other parkrunners streamed ahead out of sight. You literally don’t see them again, well not until after you’ve finished, I don’t mean they were abducted by aliens and transported to a parallel universe as soon as they got round the first corner, that would be silly. Rather, they did their thing and we did ours. Some even managed en route selfies, hurrah!

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It was an astonishing walk. The forest is truly breathtaking, and although at intervals there were cheery marshals to point us on our way, there seemed to be no-one else about at all. A distant dog walker maybe – the aforementioned unicorns, obvs, but basically we had this wonderland all to ourselves. We were pretty much right at the back, with just the tailwalker behind sweeping the course. He was collecting cones and things as other marshals stood down, including I imagine, winding up bunting, and was a little distance behind. This meant we walked and talked at our own pace, and got to really appreciate our surroundings. Never having been before, I can only assume the forest is always this lovely, with sunshine and every variation on green in the colour spectrum you can possibly imagine and then some more. It smelt nice too. So did my cowmpanion, only she said it can’t have been her smelling all that fragrant in truth, so it must have been her laundry detergent. I do really, really like the smell of freshly washed, air dried laundry. Right up there with coffee and toast in the morning.

Here are some of the friendly marshals who nailed the directional pointing, photogenic posing and generic cheeriness on the way round. It was a good day for standing in a pool of forest sunshine. There would have been quite a gap between us and the last of the parkrunners, but I choose to think waiting for us would have been an opportunity for quiet meditation and listening out for all the sounds of the forest. An exercise in mindfulness.

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And here are some of the many sights we saw or passed en route.

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It was very, very hard to exercise the necessary self discipline to stay on track, with so many intriguing possibilities luring us away. We may have experimented with the see saw to see if it would see saw. It did! Quite spectacularly. I was quite relieved I’d delegated the testing responsibilities to my more able bodied cowmpanion. She aced it. Could maybe have done a bit more of triumphant arms flung outwards on the dismount, but no face planting or obvious injury, so definitely an 8 at least. Well done.

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Twalking is most therapeutic, meditative even. Consequently we were caught unawares when the finish funnel ‘suddenly’ appeared. Fortunately, the team were on high alert in cheery readiness for us. Triumphant we entered the funnel, clicked in, hurrah!

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Shot out of the funnel, we were scanned, and then there was the important business of the cake. I did tell you, cakes had been baked and bought, and the master baker had kept them all safely til the cow came home, so she could break open the Tupperware and dispense her offerings with smiles. They were vegan cakes, cow coloured (well sort of, cows come in many colours after all) and some were gluten free and others presumably had extra gluten. All dietary needs catered for. Happy smiles in abundance as the offerings were passed around. Hurrah!

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Assisted by the sugar high, the business of uploading scan files, gathering up tokens to be sorted and taking down of the funnel was soon underway.

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Crucially though, we managed to pose for the mandatory group shot with the selfie frame before it was also packed away.

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Next stop was the cafe, but en route we passed the most brilliant sign of a load of children sitting on a log, eating cake. I was keen to do a group reconstruction, as we had some parkrunners who would have been an absolute shoo in for some of those casting opportunities. Next time maybe, today, the pull of the prospect of coffee was too strong.

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We left the regulars doing their final tidying up – we did offer to help, but they had it nailed without us, and you know what, it’s not really helping unless you are actually being helpful, too many cooks and all that. We called our thanks though, and they looked happy in their labours. Not just happy to wave us off I think. There had been cake after all. parkrun was always about the cake wasn’t it. Oh no, wait, coffee, always about the coffee. Same thing though really.

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We arrived at the coffee, via a little celebratory outdoor cake moment. The cafe very kindly allowed us to take our cakes inside – we did buy toasties various and drinks and things. Point of information, the only downside of this whole morning, but has to be declared because of the mismatch between expectations generated by the general ambience of the place, presentation of hot beverages and the crushing reality of what was served up, this parkrun venue had quite possibly the worst coffee I’ve ever had at a parkrun apart from at Doncaster parkrun At Doncaster I actually left the coffee undrunk, the coffee here I did consume, but it got nastier with every mouthful. Shame, as the cafe was ace for customer service, cleanliness etc, and vegan options. Bit limited for breakfast choices but fundamentally fine. I digress, we need more pictures, here is the outsidey part:

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Do you like the card with the cow on it? I bought it specially moo-ns ago (see what I did there? Quite proud of that one), in anticipation of just this occasion, very proud of it. Also, quite relieved, as when the time finally came to use it, I thought I’d lost it, there was much late night rummaging I don’t mind admitting!

Then into the cafe, where two of our number had volunteered for token sorting. One token at least had gone awol 86 from memory, but what was really odd, was that the spare number 86 was also missing, and the spare for the spare, and the spare for that one too. How bizarre. A repeat offender? Some secret society’s initiation ceremony, sacred to unicorns or Zog? We may never know. I must google ‘what is so great about the number 86’ to see if I can find out why… ok, I have, it’s associated with all your problems vanishing, which is clearly nonsense, as it’s a big problem for event teams if token magpies are present at an event. Also, weirdly, I’ve not come across this phenomenon before anywhere else. Strange, but true!

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The Freyne Club? That’s for 250 different venues. I know, very impressive. I got to join in on venue number 249 at Millhouses parkrun. There’s a story about that – another time maybe…

And then that was that. I would have stayed a bit longer, but suddenly discovered it isn’t three hours parking on a Saturday morning it’s until 11 a.m. and at 10.59 a.m. I realised if I lingered I’d turn into a pumpkin or something, also needed to get back really, guests checking out and always wise to be home to safety before my leg starts operating either independently or not at all. It has a (deranged) mind of its own at times. Still, one should always leave one’s audience wanting more, isn’t that the saying? Salcey Forest has certainly achieved that, definitely one of my favourites. I’ve loved all the forest parkruns I’ve done, there is something calming about them, particularly the more established ones, you get some sense of perspective perhaps, trees can live for centuries, things that seem to matter right now maybe really don’t in the grand scheme of things.

And so I waved goodbye and wended my way home.

Thanks Salcey Forest parkrun, you were fab. Oh, and if you dear reader want their official event report for triangulation purposes, you will find it on their Facebook page here:

And parkrunner twalking buddy, well done for being such a cow. You did yourself proud!

Same again next week somewhere?

In the meantime, if you want to prolong your parkrun fix, you could always browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.

Hope you find a forest of your own to bathe in sometime soon. Catch them while you can. Not sure they have as many years left in the future as they have stood for in the past. Maybe if you find a particularly nice tree, take the time to give it an appreciative hug. It will make you feel all nice and warm and squidgy inside. Bits of bark might get down your top and be a bit itchy, and you could end up with some leaf litter in your shoes, but it’s fundamentally grounding, give it a try. Thank me later. You’re welcome.

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PS did I mention the extra fluffy dog? Amazing! A quarter spaniel, three quarters yeti. Nice.

Iconic Irchester Country parkrun with Coronation Colours

Well, that really was a spectacle of splendour, opulence, pageantry and glory if ever I saw one. Irchester Country parkrun really is a pretty stunning venue and the event team literally get the flags out to welcome arrivals at their parkrun party week in week out. It was a bit of a trek for me from Sheffield, though granted it was probably speedier and more practical to travel in an 2007 toyota yaris than a Diamond Jubilee State Coach from circa 2012 or indeed the Gold State Coach from 1760, and I fancy my maintenance charges are considerably more manageable, though I suppose if the taxpayer pays for everything that’s less of a consideration.

Why Irchester? Why I? Or Wye aye even?

Well, it was a last minute thing to be honest. I’d read the previous week’s rather excellent write up for event number 110 and it made it sound really fantastic, with bluebell possibilities. It has been on my radar for a little while. Another parkrun beginning with the letter ‘I’ is always a win (second alphabet completion from the original Running Challenges badges AND an Old MacDonald completion from the 5k app). Oh, and it is a Nelson number too, albeit one I already have. It is a long way from Sheffield but the main pull for this weekend in particular, was that as I was browsing through possibilities I came across this post, declaring a ‘walk with Karen‘ parkrun, which they do on the first Saturday of every month, to try to encourage people to come and walk the course. This is an initiative close to my heart. I’m desperate as a walker to find events where I feel genuinely welcome and a large part of that is finding I’m one of many other parkwalkers. Also (shhh, not official yet) I’m in discussion with a local event about how to make their parkrun more walker friendly, so it would be good to see how they do things at Irchester. I was a bit worried about the length of the drive, driving seems to cripple me more than anything, and general fatigue. In the event, I was awake and blinking in the small hours anyway, so decided to go for it on the morning.

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It was a long but quietish drive. I think the secret to doing long parkrun tourist trips is to pick national holidays or special events to undertake them as I can only assume many were staying home to bake their coronation quiches and fine tune their bunting before firing up the tv and settling down for the duration. It was a mild day, but humid and I drove towards rain.

Right, before I go on, let’s get the official blah de blah out of the way. According to the Irchester Country parkrun website:

The course is at Irchester Country Park, Wellingborough. The course is run entirely on trail paths.

Course Description
The Irchester Country parkrun course is run on well surfaced trails through diverse woodland that reveal elements of the park’s ironstone quarrying history as well as its Jurassic limestone geology.

The course follows an out-and-back route with a 1km loop in the middle. Starting outside the railway museum, it finishes on the Royal Meadow close to the café. Please stay to the left-hand side of the path at all times, and follow the marshals’ directions. Take care when approaching the finish line, as the meadow has uneven ground with some molehills and rabbit burrows.

Facilities
Toilets are located in a block adjacent to the café. Irchester Country Park has an adventure course with zip lines, a children’s play area, and a diverse network of trails in a 200-acre area of woodland.

and it looks like this:

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Lovely. Look at all those trees! A forest bathing opportunity as well as a Nelson, an I, a parkrun, a welcome to parkwalkers and bunting too. What’s not to like? The map diagram reminds me of a caterpillar, the loop is its head, and then it’s body is sort of undulating behind, as caterpillar bodies too. You have read The Very Hungry Caterpillar right? Good. Well in that case you’ll know exactly what I mean. Do you see it too.

It was pretty straightforward to find the country park, though with the benefit of hindsight I can cast a few pearls of wisdom your way. I parked at the top car park, the first one I came too. In fact if you are early, you can drive on down to another car park a lot nearer the start. It’s not too far to walk to be fair, even for me, but might be a consideration if you had mobility issues or stuff to carry. The other thing was I really struggled with the car park machine. I don’t begrudge paying, but I do begrudge the faff of incomprehensible instructions on the machine. It took me several abortive attempts, and then I stood aside for someone else to have a go. They were able to fathom it – albeit not immediately – and the supervised my doing so afterwards. Car park marshals in high vis appeared shortly after I’d parked possibly to shoo people down to the other parking areas. The machine was a complete pain, and in fact the start was delayed because people were still queuing to pay because presumably everyone using it for the first time also had several attempts before nailing it. Oh well.

Paid up, I pootled down towards the main visitors centre. Already I was feeling ‘ooh, well this is rather lovely’, mainly because it is. Trees and exciting little pathways entice you into the woods, but in a nice, warm fuzzy feeling way, not in a being lured to your death by an axe murderer sort of vibe. You can see the buildings of the visitors hub, with loos etc from a distance, hurrah! The loos are worthy of a mention in their own right. Grand that they were not only open but clean. There were some very specific rules regarding trainer pants though. I didn’t know trainers had pants as an optional extra. Every day a school day it seems. Again, I appreciated the attention to detail re kite flying as well, those high voltage power lines can be real killjoys. I did a parachute jump decades ago, and one of the safety things they really hammered home was around ‘what to do if you land entangled in high voltage electricity cables’ basically shoo anyone who comes to help away. Don’t let anyone near you or it will end badly. I think you are ok once the fire brigade arrive, but just say no to any have a go heroes. They also covered ‘what to do if you land on a moving vehicle’ and ‘what to do if you land in water’. It was all quite off putting, but it must have been a really good training course as I remember it all. Anyway, the point is, that Irchester Country Park is clearly actually rather fabulous, with loads of facilities as well as fun activities, of which parkrun is clearly the most fun of all.

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In face Wikipedia pleasingly makes an explicit mention of parkrun in its blah de blah about Irchester – look!

Country park

The village has a large country park managed by Northamptonshire County Council,[37] created after local open-cast ironstone quarries were allowed to revert to the wild, having been worked out some decades after the war. The removal of the ironstone and some limestone that overlaid it has lowered the land around the working face by several metres, though this is not apparent except near the vehicle entrance. The park has an unusual ridge-and-furrow topography with several metres’ relief, marking the movement patterns of the machines that stripped the overburden to expose the ironstone. The park offers maturing woodlands (planted about 1965) and grassy meadows with surrounding trails. There is also a children’s play area and a café.

Irchester Narrow Gauge Railway Museum in the country park shows working steam and diesel locomotives among more than 40 items of rolling stock. A 250-metre demonstration track can be seen.[38]

Since November 2019, Irchester Country Park has hosted a free, weekly parkrun timed 5-km run/walk, every Saturday morning at 9 a.m.[39]

This, it seems, is yet another venue that I left wanting to come back to see more next time, though it is a loooong way for me, so not sure that’s exactly on the cards. Do as I say, not as I do, and do yourself a favour and allow more time to explore post parkrun, it won’t disappoint. On the subject of ‘I do’ did I mention that one of those attending today was doing a pre wedding parkrun. His own wedding! Hurrah. Most thoughtful to involve the whole parkrun community in his big day.

As I descended from the car park and the buildings came into sight, you could see the volunteers gathering in the carpark area. Some early bird on course set up had already put a sign up directing new arrivals to the start area which was a hundred metres or so on from the car park. I followed a volunteer down to the starting area, which was also the finish funnel. Oh no wait, you go past the finish funnel in fact and down to where the pop up sign is, not miles away but a few hundred metres from where you’ve parked so you need to allow a little time for that to be fair. I was quite taken by all the fallen seed heads and blossom that gave a white hue to the sides of the paths, like a dusting of snow or a deep late frost, most picturesque. Check out how lush everything looks too, rain may be wet and all, but it is jolly good for greening everything up, the Country Park was looking fabulous. This is a venue that would also most definitely reward coming back at different times of year and different times of day, I bet every day you come you’d notice something changed or new.

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Also picturesque was the finish funnel decked with joyful bunting, and a table groaning under the weight of coronation themed cupcakes.

On the subject of big days, yes we were, earlier on, keep up, you might have clocked that today was also coronation day for King Charles III. I’m not a fan of the monarchy to be honest, but credit where credit is due, the royal family was much in evidence at todays parkrun. Both King and Queen put in a stint of volunteering at Irchester Country parkrun this morning before rocking up for the coronation later on, that must have been cutting it fine. Almost as fine as the parkrunner who was attending today pre their wedding this afternoon, finding time to write the run report at some point as well. Sometimes it really hits home just how much of an underachiever I am. Still, I can make other feel all the more productive and glorious by comparison. Also, it’s not helpful to compare your situation to others, it only leads to bitterness, self-pity and existential angst. Or is that just me. In any event, the royals were in full on Santa territory, taking in pretty much every parkrun across the kingdom in one short morning, and still making it to the church on time. Look if you don’t believe me! Granted, there are fair few minor royals I don’t recognise, but enough pomp and paraphernalia to make me confident they were carriage bound for the Abbey straight after they’d been scanned and returned their barcodes as is the parkrun way. And as all parkruns take place at the same time on a Saturday, they may even have been channeling their inner Hermione Granger Time Turner skills, not to be confused with Tina Turner skills. Mind you, that might have been beyond fabulous at Westminster Abbey don’t you think – a bit of ad hoc TT inspired karaoke would most definitely have livened things up. What do you reckon – ‘(simply) The Best’ or maybe ‘We don’t need another hero’ possibilities are near endless. Oh what might have been. Anyway, check out the pics and the tributes too. This is just a shameless way to shoo in photos of other parkruns into this post and capture them for posterity. Would be shame if all that effort was to just fade away.

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Anyways, those were other parkruns, doing their admirable thing whilst I was at the main event at Irchester. I made my way to the start area, and despite being somewhat curmudgeonly about the whole coronation thing, I am at heart more of a joiner in and I will concede that watching people arrive in red, white and blue, or besporting flags was exceedingly jolly. The morning did have the air of expectant celebration. People were in a good mood and it would have been mean spirited not to go with the swing so to speak. I did my paparazzi impression pointing and pushing and taking random photos. I am loving my new phone and its camera, even if I am not quite sure how to use all its many impressive features.

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Whilst I was faffing, a regular at the parkrun filled me in on its finer features which was welcoming. I’d given myself away as a first timer by my desire to photograph anything and everything as a way of locking every moment of it into my memory. After a bt though, I was called away to the first timers’ welcome. This was a jolly affair. Quite interactive. Hands up if you’ve come for an ‘I’; ‘hands up if you’ve come for a Nelson’. Everyone pretty much called out where they were from, there was a scattering of first time everers which was good to see, though I fear that starting on such a high will make future parkruns have to work hard to maintain momentum! Someone had a birthday and the first timers spontaneously sang a rousing chorus of ‘happy birthday’ which was delightful as well as mostly tuneful. People had milestones and some donned tabards or shirts accordingly. It was all very friendly, delivered with confidence and clarity. In response to ‘how flat’ we were informed that compared to Norfolk no, compared to Woolacomb dunes probably yes. It was most good natured. And who doesn’t like a sing-a-long at a parkrun? We were warming up nicely.

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A little later, we were gathered to start and for the Run Director’s Briefing. King Charles himself took on the role this morning and did pretty well really. There was an address system, lots of communications between car park marshals and the RD. People were still queuing to get into the carpark and to pay so there was a short delay. The briefing alerted us to milestones, thanked the volunteers, pointed out the Karen we could all walk with, let us know about the person getting married today who would also find time to write the run report. We were told of cakes at the finish, I think there was a group doing some sponsored thing or a running group of some sort but I got confused and distracted by all the bunting and flaggery so I’m not honestly sure. I am sure the tail walker had an actual tail, I always appreciate this. Seemingly a dinosaur tail, I’m not sure if they brought it with them, or got lucky exploring the dinosaur trail in the park first thing. Sometimes it’s tactful just not to ask isn’t it.

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The RD waited as long as she/they possibly could, but eventually the shout for awf went up and off everyone went. It was a chaotic but courteous start. Regulars were in position at the front, but others spread widely across the ground, narrowing to join the path and string out ahead. Onwards, past the finish funnel, a dog leg by the visitors centre and suddenly you were in the park proper with gorgeous mature trees towering overhead. Lovely!

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Also hugely refreshing and lovely about this event was the number of walkers. A proper army of people walking. There weren’t people in the blue parkwalker bibs as such for some reason, but in addition to a couple of tailwarkers there was a posse of volunteers sporting the pink high vis who were clearly walking. I don’t know why I came over all shy but I did, and therefore didn’t particularly join the walkers which was a shame as I’d have loved to learn more about how their walking initiative was going. Inevitably, with me getting progressively slower because, well you know dear reader, this body of mine letting me down – and taking photos as I tried to rebalance for the upward flat sections I ended up on my own in the twilight zone between the parkwalkers ahead and the tailwalkers behind. This was my choice, I was quite enjoying the solitude and greenery and didn’t feel like being social.

There is so much to see on this course too! As well as the cheery and astonishingly attractive marshals at intervals, there are all sorts of discoveries to be made on and adjacent to the trails. From the wooden troll figures to the super-sized ants. I’m all for encouraging wildlife, and indeed, have recently been occupied with constructing a bee bank for solitary bees in my very own back garden, but not gonna lie, if these moved in my back garden I might not call pest control but I’d definitely be closing my curtains and keeping the lights off in order to avoid drawing any attention to myself. Impressive though aren’t they. Impressive, but not law abiding, they are clearly ignoring the ‘do not climb’ signage, or maybe they can’t read? Or maybe they can read it’s just that English isn’t their first language? Whatever. You’ll find them shortly after you enter the woods, peel off to the left, and then there they are, you can’t really miss them to be fair, unless you are running so hard and fast sweat from your forehead has streamed into your eyes, stinging them and causing temporary blindness. If this is the case, next time wear an attractive towel sweat band, or better yet, a parkrun buff, and then you’ll be able to spot them. It would be well worth the investment, pus those parkrun buffs are fab. That’s why I was wearing one, even though it was a bit hot and sweaty doing so. parkrun call them snoods. How odd, must be like hoovers and vacuum cleaners I suppose… Mind you ‘buff’ is a stupid word as well really. ‘Running in the buff’ jokes wear thin pretty quickly, but still worth a shot now and again I suppose…

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The shape of the course means that you return on the section you head out on. It logically follows that the back of the packers will meet the fast (but hopefully not furious) parkrunners heading back as they head out. I quite liked this. The track is pretty wide so you aren’t likely to crash into one another on the contraflow section, and there are signs and marshals to remind you to keep left and to even point in a lefterly direction if you are struggling with your lefts and right. It was quite social, and lovely to see cheery runners flying past on their way back. Hurrah! Don’t they look jolly! Spoiler alert, that’s because they were!

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I particularly appreciated the parkrunner(s) who did aeroplane arms going round the corners. I’m a huge advocate of this at junior parkrun, where I try to encourage participants to execute these aerial assisted manoeuvres on the down hill sections as it is a FACT (a Lucy Fact granted, but a fact all the same) that shouting ‘wheeeeeeeeeeeeee’ and sticking your arms out like aeroplane wings when you run down hill makes you go way faster as well as hugely amusing the marshals. It was beyond heartening to see this FACT being applied to parkrunners cornering uphill, positively innovative. I bet the guy in the photo got a new PB, he deserved one at least.

The outward bit eventually ends and you are directed on to the loop which involves pretty much a right hand turn. Then it becomes quieter, because by this time I was way at the back and couldn’t really see any other participants, a glimpse of walkers through trees ahead and the tailwalkers behind but no more approaching parkrunners to cheer on. This was a more contemplative section for me. I appreciated the trees a lot. There was a lack of bluebells, I’d been expecting loads, but was either too late or too early, there are plenty around, just not yet in flower for the most part. There was lots of animal habitat, and curiosities too. A viewing point for the original quarry workings and a sort of overground/underground station that might have been for the railway or possibly zip wires, I didn’t have adequate time to explore.

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Loop looped, I was falling further and further back. Marshals stood down shortly after I passed, and started to swell the numbers of the back escort, carrying assorted cones and signage and coronation paraphernalia back to the start. I was heading back along the outward track, past elaborate root systems, under calming forest branches, back to the wooden carving and enormous ants, past marshals still in situ where I’d passed them on the way out. Eventually I was back with just 200 metres to go, the finish in sight!

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And then a little beyond, the finish funnel in all its glory, still fully flanked by a guard of honour.

Just behind we were the tail walkers and a parkrunner with a dog who was very excited at the coming back shenanigans and bounced around with considerable energy albeit misdirection as her accompanying human hilariously tried to steer her across the finish line. It mattered not. It is important to let everyone appreciate and participate in parkrun in their own way after all. Go Tild! Go random royal coming in behind. I get them mixed up, William I think. Because he isn’t sporting a beard, but I’m surprised to see him with so much hair? Mind you, people do always look a bit different in real life than they do on the telly I find.

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So all in all quite a lot to celebrate this weekend, weddings and walkers and milestones and birthdays. Excitingly though, it was also this weekend where the number of members of the parkrun 500 club tipped over 500. That’s such an amazing achievement. I remember seeing people in 50 milestone t-shirts when I just started at parkrun and that seemed extraordinary enough, and yet how the milestones grow. What really blows my mind is the junior parkrunners who have grown up with parkrun, assuming parkrun achieves its goal of being free, for everyone, forever, I wonder what milestone numbers parkrunners may reach in the future. Some run directors, event directors and volunteers are so committed to parkrun that I am confident even as worlds come and go, their ghostly presence will still be seen from space, placing cones around 5k routes that once were there, and cheering and clapping as best as a formless presence can, their calls of ‘well done’ and ‘nearly there’ echoing through space and travelling ever outwards to infinity and beyond, their shouts travelling with the ever expanding universe to new galaxies far far away. Probably. Point is, one day there will be a thousand members of the one thousand milestone club for sure. I wonder what colour that top will be. Teal is very much of the moment – oooh how about doing some fancy Anne Bolyen milestone headbands to go with them only with the parkrun logo rather than the poundland one. Go on Google it, once seen, it cannot be unseen. You know what, I’m going to spare you the trouble, hang on …

I still loved the look though. I’d totally wear a cape and a hat like that if I got the opportunity. A thousand parkrun milestone would be as good a reason as any. That sword was seriously heavy though by the way, and the crowns that King and Queen were sporting. A lot of media coverage banged on about how hard it must be carrying a 2kg diamond embedded crown around all morning, but Penny was carrying a sword that weighed a mahoosive 3.6 kg , and to be fair, that would be tough holding at that angle for so long, but I’m not giving away too much of a spoiler if i say I regularly carry around way more than a 4kg excess with me at all times and I don’t get anyone massaging vegan oils into my chest and giving me a fly by at the weekend. However, pity me not dear reader, since I did however get a cheer through the parkrun finish funnel at Irchester Country parkrun which is worth way more. Priceless in fact.

parkrun finished, I did a bit more floating about and photo shooting. Including a quick foray to get a snap of a little clump of bluebells in a nod to the flower I’d hoped to see in a great blue sea across the forest floor. They must be beyond spectacular when they do bloom. People were socialising round the cake table, or availing themselves of the now open coffee place. It had a nice vibe.

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and that was that. I was too shy to broach the cake offerings, but there were still a great many left by the time I got back, always a boon. I said my thanks and farewell to the team and the RD. And I meant it. The thanks I mean, this really is the most amazing event. I think I find the forest parkruns especially calming. This was a lovely relaxed, supportive and enthusiastic parkrun, a parkrun fit for a King you might say, but more importantly, fit for anyone, it did feel chilled and inclusive and unhurried. I left the party in full swing for my journey home. Thank you Irchester Country parkrun I was happy and your parkrun was glorious. Hip hip, hooray!

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Oh, and for triangulation purposes, check out these official event reports from the day – in particular the bride and groom who shared their wedding day with the most splendid of parkruns, I hope Irchester didn’t entirely upstage their actual wedding, whatever, I’m sure they will have had a day to remember as well as an abundance of celebratory cakes. Yay for parkrun passionistas who share their big day with other parkrunners!

And if you want more you could always browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.

Til next time then, happy parkrunning, and hold out for a cape when we make it to a thousand parkruns. It’ll happen for some, for sure! If you have already been to Irchester Country parkrun you know how fab it is, if you haven’t, check it out, forest bathing, bunting and a friendly welcome. Lovely!

Thanks for sticking with me, appreciated.

🙂

Jolly Jovial Jocular Jubilee parkrun #100

Well, that was most satisfactory.

Jubilee parkrun has been on my vague ‘to do’ list for ages, in honesty, largely because of the alphabet challenge, but also new place to visit, good vibes, in reach of Sheffield, the usual tick list of gloriousness. I picked this week because who wants to go to Norway for their extra parkrun day anyway, bet they don’t get complementary rhubarb at the end, or even rude vegetables I would imagine. Did you know that ‘Rhubarb is technically a vegetable, but is legally considered a fruit. In 1947 a New York court declared rhubarb a fruit because it’s most often cooked as one in the United States’, well it is according to Huffpost, which is good enough for me. Also, today was the occasion of their 100th event, and therefore officially party time. Or would be according to their most recent Facebook post.

Balloons a boon for sure. I do like a pop up parkrun party. I’d get to complete my alphabet, which is officially a thing what’s not to like.

Apart from the stupid o’clock start that is. Having said that, as a chronic insomniac, I’m usually just lying awake wishing I wasn’t, awake that is, so having a purpose to get up for in the small hours is also a boon. I was awake from about 4.00 and there were the most amazingly noisy birds at that time. A couple of owls, though some calls I couldn’t recognise at all, giving way to a rousing dawn chorus. It looked like it was going to be a bright sunshiny day too, hurrah. I headed off up the M1 feeling uncharacteristically cheery. The sun was burning off a deep mist, and it was gorgeous out. Or it was for the first bit, as we got further north it gave way to a less than cheery mizzle and fog, but that’s ok too, because rain is good. I hadn’t checked much in advance beyond a postcode to head to. I read that there was free parking in the town centre too, walking distance from the park, but was hoping I’d get near to the park as I worry about adding on extra walking to a parkrun distance. In fact, as I approached the postcode, I saw signs for free parking in one direction and to the Jubilee Park in the other, so figured it really wasn’t far at all, so parked up. There seemed to be ample parking, though I was a bit confused by the prevalence of royal mail red postal vans, which made me wonder if I’d encroached on their parking. But fear not dear reader, I hadn’t it was fine, it was free, and it was but a very short walk to the park gates, even by my somewhat feeble walking endurance standards.

Here it is, the entrance to the park, oooh, exciting!

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See that sign? More of that later.

But I’m ahead of myself. I’ve been now, but you might not have been, so let’s check out the course blah de blah on the official Jubilee parkrun website, and the map too, which is pretty hilarious.

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The course is at Jubilee Park, Spennymoor. The course is run on a mixture of tarmac paths and grass.

Start at the bottom of the park next to the Villiers Street entrance. Travelling in a clockwise direction, complete 3 full laps plus 1 part lap to finish at the top of the park next to the bowls green. The course is an undulating mixture of grass and paths. Trail shoes may be advisable in the winter. Unfortunately dogs are not allowed at this event.

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OK, that sounds straightforward…. however, it looks like this:-

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which is basically headache inducing. Not even sure if they’ve printed the map the right way up to be fair. Hurrah for marshals, they will be much needed here. A rare benefit of being a walker at parkrun is I don’t have to worry about being a pathfinder on an unfamiliar course, this looks complicated.

In I went, and it was a revelation. This is a pretty bijou park it’s fair to say, a true pocket park, but it was beautifully landscaped. Colourful packed displays of planting in formal beds set off traditional features like a rather fine bandstand. Then there were contemporary additions like a play area, a formal arch for the Jubilee of 2000, though in fact this is Victoria Park not one for Elizabeth II as I’d assumed. There is a skate boarding area, a Victoria train station, all the things! Also, this sign, which amused me…

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It was the reference to no person whilst in the park shall – ‘play unauthorised golf’. Is this a known public disorder offence in these parts. I was very confused. Confused that is, until I stumbled on the in situ crazy golf course. This is genius, and probably merits a trip all on its own. It’s a carefully landscaped area, designed around the ‘accomplishments’ of the Victorian age. I say ‘accomplishments’ but presented as it was, a moment in history for every hole, was genuinely educational, let’s just go with it wasn’t an especially woke time. Kudos to whoever designed this feature though, edutainment at its best, much like parkrun itself!

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This made a bit more sense of the golfing directive. Other directives were also made very clear:

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Fair enough, a lot of work had gone into the planting schemes just look:

But although you could not ‘tread, mosey, hop, trample, step, plod, tiptoe, trot, meander, creep, prance, amble, jog, trudge, march, stomp, toddle, jump, stumble, trod, sprint or walk on the plants, parkrun takes a different view. With the possible exception of trampling (it’s definitely frowned on to mow down other park users or fellow parkrunners as you participate so to go on to trample them altogether would definitely lead to tuts and passive aggressive sighing from fellow parkrunners at the very least) – you can complete a parkrun however you like. Which is lucky for me as I’m definitely a plodder at present.

Despite being a plodder, the park itself invited a bit of pre parkrun exploration. I was super impressed to find cones and signs already in situ, volunteers were also very focused on balloon tying and bunting display. Jazzing it all up joyfully you might say. I helped hugely by holding one end of a strip of bunting to assist in its disentanglement, and then securing it in situ with a bow under the direction of others. Every little helps, hopefully 🙂

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Even more excitingly, some had broken out the bubbles. I know! Epic.

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All looking very promising, but wait, there was more! There was a large set of buildings adjacent to the finish funnel and immaculately manicured bowling green. In it were loos, hurrah. Also clean and ample in number, with one of those automated soap, water hand driers. That in itself is perhaps unremarkable, we are used to such fripperies and indulgences in this decadent age. What was eye catching though was the laser light show as the machine operated. No really, it was quite astonishing, whether this lumiere display was in honour of the 100th parkrun or a regular occurrence I have no idea, you’ll have to go back and check it out for yourself. Prepare yourself to be truly amazed, the wonder of discovery at a new to you parkrun continues to be delivered. Here is a teaser, doesn’t really do it justice, I failed to capture the glitter ball for example, but you should get the gist. What brave new world is this indeed!

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Please don’t tell me I need to get out more, such slights degrade you, not me. Just sayin’

Ablutions completed, I followed the direction of the balloon and sign carrier to locate the start area, which wasn’t too hard to find on account of it being right near the gates you have previously entered.

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The pictures aren’t really capturing the ambience of the park. I admit, my heart sank a bit when I realised it was essentially a four lapper but honestly, the park is so full of little corners of interest, and zig zagging paths there is something to see at every point on the park. Add in balloons and cheering marshals and it’s just as well you get to go round more than once or you’d miss so much of the good stuff. Spring flowers in wildlife areas, formal beds, stone staircases and iron arches, it has it all. Add to this the fact the the event team are on a role with the celebrations and you have it made. They celebrated their flake run (number 99) last week, today is their 100th event (obvs) and then next week they will no doubt have the bunting out all over again for the coronation celebrations, with a name like Jubilee parkun how could they not?

Despite the rarity of the letter ‘J’ in parkrun land, this wasn’t a massive parkrun by any means. Small and perfectly formed. A call went up to welcome first timers, and a group of us duly assembled. Tourists had come from all over, I think from Dorset was the furthest but I lost concentration so might have hallucinated that. Also, I was distracted by the hugely exciting combo of milestone parkrunners. There was an adult on his 100th parkrun, accompanied by a junior on his FIRST EVER parkrun and another junior with a sign on proclaiming his 7th parkrun. This innovation is splendid! Numbers are pretty arbitrary so we should basically celebrate them all, hurrah! Loving the signage, genius. Our official welcomer explained that the purpose of the first timers’ briefing is to make the course sound as complicated as possible. It is really hard to describe to be fair, but when you come to complete it, it does make sense, the magic combo of marshals pointing and cunning cone placement mean it would be really difficult to get lost. This part of the briefing was reassuring. We were also forewarned though that although the park appears pretty flat, there is a bit of a gradient which, in conjunction with the multi-lap routing means you basically run up the same hill 8 times. It’s true, it is deceptive in that respect, good to be warned. Anyway, all very helpful and very jolly, with a backdrop of other volunteers perfecting the event decor. Those numbered balloons won’t hang themselves!

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We were all jumping up and down with excitement at the prospect of our Jubilee Jog or Jeff around. I was mostly jumping on the inside.

Next stop was photo posing, well it was an especially photo worthy occasion. Jolly balloons, jaunty volunteers, a jam packed parkrun awaited us. Here though first are the high vis heroes!

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Aren’t they lovely? Of course they are.

It wasn’t even raining, positively clearing up, despite a bit of a nip in the air earlier. I tried to get the volunteers jump on three for a photo, but it wasn’t really their thing. However, judging by the roar of laughter that went up from alongside in the start funnel behind me I have a strong suspicion the run director may have had a shot at getting airborne, I’d like to have seen that, maybe next time.

Run Director’s briefing followed. It was really good. It covered a bit of the history of how the parkrun started up, which of course I have now almost entirely forgotten. I do know that but for the pandemic they’d have had a lot more parkruns under their name, I have a feeling it’s start was delayed by the whole lockdown thing. There were the usual thanks. The park is exceptionally well maintained, it looked like someone was doing a litter pick and restoring some flowers to beds where they had been rudely ripped up by some ne’er do well the night before even as we gathered. Welcomes to tourists, milestone shout outs. I don’t think anything was missed. Oh – the no dogs thing for this particular parkrun – it is a park rule, and also adults were instructed to keep up with their accompanying juniors. And cake at the end, by the finish. A great incentive to get around. All good. Then the call went out ‘timers ready?’ ‘Yep’ then we were awf!

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And off went all the parkrunners, one marshal scampered balloon laden to her marshal point, and I tucked in towards the back. You start up a gradient, but a chalked sign reminds you to keep going, and then a bubble monitor at the top of the slope guided you onto a grass section to the right, down hill, past daffodils and more bubbles, a veritable bubble path on the way round should you wish it, and then a bit of a cone directed zig and marshal directed zag and back up the hill the other side. It makes perfect sense in the doing, but none whatsoever in the describing of. You’ll just have to jog along and tackle it yourself.

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You soar by a children’s play area, formal planting, the mini golf course, and up to the point where there is a marshal you pass by three times and then on the fourth occasion turn sharply into the finish tunnel. It is important to be able to count to three and remember what your count is as it is a tad disorientating with everyone else also parkrunning around in all directions, harder than you think to count to three sometimes. Fun though. I liked that you passed marshals more than once, though after the first lap some had repositioned themselves to support the finish funnel high japery. Cones remained in situ though, and it was fine to navigate around once everyone was in motion, pretty much always someone to follow.

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There was a good vibe to the parkrun. Passing parkrunners called encouragement, and the volunteers appeared to be genuinely having a ball. Music was playing near the finish area, and at one point I could hear ‘Come On Eileen‘ blaring out from the sound system whilst Team Bubble were giving a stirring rendition of ‘I’m forever blowing bubbles‘ I do appreciate a bit of gusto at a parkrun and Jubilee was jam-packed with jollity and enthusiasm along those lines! I tried to take photos on the way round, a smorgasbord follows, including some taken by others on the day too. I’ve borrowed from the Jubilee parkrun facebook page, I’m sure they won’t mind too much.

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Maybe the pictures are in fact beginning to put you in the picture. I’m hoping so.

As I was lapped I suddenly spotted some familiar merchandise – a buff linked to the With Me Now podcast – About parkrun passion by passionate parkrunners. It’s a weekly podcast about all things parkrun, and has just had its 250th pod, which is no mean feat. It’s worth a listen if you like to keep up with parkrun related news and hear about other parkruns. More importantly, it has a community of listeners who got to know one another especially during the lockdown period when the With Me Now team astonishingly, managed to do pretty much daily live streams just to keep people connected. That could be a bit of parkrunpedia (history of particular parkrun courses); parkrun pictionary; parkrun pets; parkrun people; allsorts really. It’s led to really strong friendships and much sharing of parkrun tourism adventuring now we are free to go out and about. Give it a listen, but in the meantime, shout outs to these fellow podders, even though I hadn’t met them before, I feel we belong to the same tribe! ‘Dolly or Bev!’ I don’t often see With Me Now merchandise in the wild!

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Oh, and I also thought the floral planting display looked a bit like the With Me Now logo, so that seemed especially apt too.

Where was I, oh yes, making my way around the course. It did feel like more uphill than down, which I know can’t be true but well, just saying. I did most of the first three laps in limbo land between the parkwalker ahead and the tailwalker behind, but for the final one I dropped back a little to join the tailwalker. It was nice to chat to a key member of the team who takes pride in welcoming walkers every week. Accompanying us was someone who used to live in Spennymoor but moved away and was back visiting, so I was in safe hands. The final loop went quickly. We passed the gathered parkrunners who had already finished and were having a nice social parkrun party. Marshals stood down as we passed, and cones were collected and balloons gathered in. The last of the bubbles distributed, and the final parkrunners flew home down the finish funnel.

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Eventually, I joined them, hurrah!

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It’s weird that just as parkruns always surprise me by starting, they equally catch me out at the finish. It all feels a bit abrupt. You’ve made friends with lovely people and lost your heart a bit to a new lovely place and then it’s all over, no sooner seemingly than it has begun! Oh well, timed in, scanned, and all done…

except it wasn’t! This was the parkrun that keeps on giving. More surprises.

The biggest surprise was finding there was still cake and flakes and sweets aplenty for us final finishers. Also more 100 decorations AND (and I really like this idea) a visitors book too! Beautifully made, that I was encouraged to sign, and duly did. Others had too. I like this innovation, I’ve not really come across it, and it’s hard to implement I think, but was done well here. But dear reader, there’s more! Rhubarb! Lots of rhubarb! An abundance harvested from one of the core team’s allotments. I was encouraged to help myself and did so with enthusiasm. I don’t know if there is always such rich pickings, but it wouldn’t surprise me if there were.

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There isn’t a cafe on site unfortunately, though I was encouraged to join them at another cafe, which I couldn’t because I needed to get back, and really was feeling it a bit, it is the driving as much as the walking unfortunately, and I was flagging. However, for future reference fellow tourists, on the first Saturday of the month, there is a more deliberate get together at the cafe linked to a nearby Methodist Church, so for any massive parkfaffers out there, that’s probably the Saturday to choose.

Having said that, I think I chose pretty well, I was a jammy parkrunner to jog up to Jubilee parkrun for jovial celebrations today!

Thank you all for the lovely welcome and jolly Jubilee park. Hope our parkrun paths cross again soon. Hope you have a good one next week- how could you not! I shall be marking the coronation celebrations by eating my body weight in rhubarb crumble, it’s going to be grand. #loverhubarb They really should make more of this availability of rhubarb as Jubilee parkrun’s USP, or maybe it is just a merry Jubilee Jape on their part, to keep the element of surprise? I hope I haven’t spoilt it.

Thanks for staying with me, hope you’ve had jolly japes wherever you went even if you didn’t get to have a full on personalised bubble bathing experience on the way round. I’m sure wherever you were was jolly nice in its own way.

Usual reminder you can browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.

May you too stumble on a parkrun with surprise offering at the finish, I’m delighted with my rhubarb, but whatever floats your boat. Every parkrun will give you the warm glow of a shared experience and memories to treasure, even if it cannot guarantee to deliver on a fruit fix every time. Still not a bad return for our free, weekly, timed fix.

Same time next week then, at a parkrun near you? Good oh. 🙂

From Tu tu to ta da! Sashaying round Sutcliffe parkrun #86

It is arbitrary I know, but three hundred. That’s loads of parkrunning around, even if latterly it’s been more of a solitary shuffle than an athletic sprint. Surely worth celebrating. I know it’s not an official milestone, no t-shirts, congratulatory telegrams or even cake, but even if not going down the lines of celebrating as such, marking with something memorable at least would surely be in order. No idea how many parkruns I have left in me, so good to lay down a marker at this point. I wondered initially about going with a theme like The 300 Spartans, but that’s probably been done before and maybe a bit low key for such a mighty achievement. Also, the whole ‘tonight we dine in hell‘ thing for the more recent version is somewhat off message for parkrun methinks. It’s supposed to be fun for all remember. Also, the spartan theme is somewhat male centric, I’m tired of that. I’ve been trying to get parkrun to look at the changing the listings for each individual parkruns’ top 500 fasted finishers to a top 500 percentage age grading instead. Or better yet ditch it altogether. I think it’s problematic just listing those parkrunners with the 500 fastest finish times for loads of reasons. Firstly, it goes against the whole ethos of it not being a race, secondly, fastest finish times miss the subtleties of differentiations by age and gender. This matters, because the longer a parkrun has been around for, and the more participants attend, the more women are erased from that listing. Because the average male can run faster than the average female, inevitably female participants are squeezed out. It might be unconscious gender bias, but it’s a neat little example of everyday sexism. For example, if you go to the listings for Bushy parkrun fastest 500 today, there are just 13 females listed in that tally of 500. Yet, the age graded record is apparently ‘Age graded record: Jane DAVIES – 100.23% 21:30 – Event 645 (24 Sep 2016)’ She doesn’t even get onto the fastest 500 list at all. That seems wrong. In addition, in a time when parkrun are aiming to be more inclusive for walkers and celebrating therefore slower average finish times, it’s a total distortion or at least misrepresentation of parkrun’s proclaimed values. I really don’t get it. And yes, I have raised it, every year for the past three years. It’s been acknowledged as anomaly, but yet it remains. It grates especially on international women’s day. I’m feeling especially hurrumphy about it at the moment. Nope, I can do better that having 300 spartan soldiers to mark the occasion of my 300th parkrun. No harm in having a little peek at the film posters again though, for old times sake. Yep, posters look very much like the gender composition of the 300 fastest finishers at Bushy parkrun, but with fewer visible milestone tees and rather more shield bearing and helmet sporting. I can do better than this. Though invincible flying wedges do sound sort of fun to hang about with if I’m completely transparent about my feelings on this front. Even more so if they were invisible, which is how I first read the poster. Oh well.

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I looked around at other celebratory rituals, and thought maybe something on the lines of the forthcoming Coronation Procession might be more appropriate, but closer scrutiny seems to suggest it’s the King what does the processing, and although he has a lovely carriage and a crown and everything, I thought maybe I’d rather other people did the processing past and I got to watch it all. I did like the dressing up ideas though, and the making a weekend of it. Obvs there’d need to be a parkrun involved. I had hoped to make it to Somerdale parkrun for their curly wurly, that would have been something extra memorable. However, that was just a drive to far, so reset. There must be something I could do…

I know! How about a spontaneous demonstration of adoration in the form of a procession of 48 thousand runners streaming by waving and so on. That would be grand. The backdrop of London would do, make it the Sunday, so time for people to travel down and get organised, and I’d stay with a friend and we could do a London parkrun the day before. Lovely, ’twas a plan! And as for dressing up, well, parkrunday was the twenty second, so that’s 22 which is two two, which is tu tu, presto, parkrun tu tu day, it’s a thing! Yay, loads of people would don tutus, it was but a short leap of the imagination to presume they would all be doing so for me, the parkrun world over. This is how to do it! Check out the event report for Neckarufer parkrun if you don’t believe me! Viele tutus indeed!

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Saturday tu tu parkrun, Sunday 48 thousand 599 people processing past, perfect way to make the weekend a memorable one, hurrah! But which parkrun to choose.

We were originally going to cavort round Catford parkrun, my parkrun buddy and London host being in search of seas for her seven Cs and an R parkrun Pirate Challenge (try saying it out loud). However, we had to set sail elsewhere as, turns out, this was cancelled due to Eid celebrations in Mountsfield park. Not to worry, plenty others to choose from. From Cats to Dogs. We considered Barking parkrun, but I’m a slow walker at the moment, and there were no parkwalkers on the volunteer roster for any week, so that raised a doubt about whether or not they would be welcoming to non runners. Our gaze went to Super Sutcliffe parkrun instead. Oh look, three tailwalkers and two parkwalkers, that looked more promising. A Sunny Sutcliffe Saunter for me it would be! Armed with tutus away we would go.

It was a short drive, lengthened only by having to stop to see if we were going the right way, we were. It turned out to be a fine choice of venue. Loaaaaads of parking, always a good start, and adjacent to an enormous leisure centre which meant there were actual loos. Bonus, their was a unisex queue for the four cubicles available for use, so this kept everything flowing so to speak, and there wasn’t that frustration of having a gazillion women queueing for their designated loos whilst men whizzed on through so to speak. Talking of keeping everything flowing, how about this for dedication to a cause:

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I know tu tu impressive!

Still, I’m jumping ahead, let’s take a moment to look at the official Sutcliffe parkrun website blah de blah:

The course is in Sutcliffe Park Nature Reserve, London

Three laps on a mixture of tarmac and gravel round the perimeter of the Nature Reserve. The start and finish are close to the entrance to the Sports Centre and the main car park.

ooooo kaaaaay, fairly minimalist description, though I’m liking the reference to a Nature Reserve. The route looks like this:

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A fairly bijoux park perhaps, but you can be small yet perfectly formed.

We arrived, we spotted the funnel and the cheery volunteers assembling. We paused for our obligatory tutu shot. Spotted the bucket slalom course and signage various. There was a very fine tree that was a bit of a focal point, not dissimilar to the Bushy parkrun tree, which apparently is not the tree on the parkrun logo as such, but may as well be. Trees are fabulous are they not? Handy too. Rhetorical question by the way, yes they are!

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The tree had a handy course map tied up to it. In a nod to nerds, they had embraced the technological innovation of the what3words app, and included this on their map. Guess what? Nope you won’t be able to guess, it’s too hard and also too brilliant, the what three words for this course appear to be three.identical.laps!!!!! I know what are the chances. Properly amazing!

Only not really though obvs. But for your edification and merriment, the actual location of ‘three.identical.laps’ is in fact

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not in existence, the nearest approximation being tree.identical.labs, but I’ll take that. It is a three metre square that is so remote it is in the middle of unchartered territory in Western Australia, amusingly nearish (relatively speaking) to a place called jigalong, which I now wish to go visit. If you are into your Nelson numbers this might be a good destination to seek out. The registered population of this remote aboriginal community is apparently 333, approximately, or it was for the census in 2016. I suppose if you went you’d ruin the maths of it anyway, but quirky observation nevertheless. Little things as they say, I know, well it pleases me, and I’m celebrating.

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Anyway, we didn’t need to jigalong to Western Australia because we had already joggedalong to Sutcliffe park. And very fine it was looking too. I never tire of the new places parkrun takes me too, corners of the country I might never have otherwise had cause to visit. This was all tu tu exciting!

We indulged in a little pre parkrun pootling. Examining the tree – which seemed also to serve as a place to leave bags, and availing ourselves of the facilities. After a little while a shout went up for the first timers’ welcome, which was also to take place below the sheltering branches of the lovely tree. But, in a dramatic twist, no sooner had the clarion call for assembly gone up, and a high vis hero started to move towards the tree, a shout went up and another volunteer, with the hugest hound ever, sprang into view. For ’twas she who was to deliver the briefing, working most efficiently to ‘just in time’ principles. Soon an attentive and enthusiastic crowd of first timers surrounded her, including, impressively, some first time everers. A few claimed to have come for the London Marathon. I didn’t want to let on that I knew this was just a cover story for those who were to process past me the following day, but was happy to feign ignorance so they could maintain the illusion of it all being a huge surprise. I would need to stay up late tonight practising my waving, but I’m sure I’d nail it.

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A fine welcome it was too. The course was described in loving terms. Three times round the tree, turns out, those cones around it aren’t just to mark out the space, but also part of the course. A turn around point, that you go round three times, pretty much like Somerdale pavilion parkrun Curly Wurly after all! Hurrah! Oh and it’s a nature reserve so there may be ducks and things and there is absolutely definitively an avenue with cherry blossom that has come out especially for us. Wow, this I was not expecting. Hurrah.

First timers’ welcome done and dusted, a bit more ambling, and then we were called together by the Run Director. The numbers were greater than usual apparently, partly by Lucy 300 cheerers or ‘London Marathon Participants’ wink wink; and partly because of displaced people from nearby Catford. Plenty of regulars too though, and a cheery atmosphere despite a slightly overcast day.

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and then we were all at the start and set awf! I did my now usual of watching the runners depart before slotting in at the back. What a merry band of parkrunners they were too. A vision of loveliness, their collective athleticism matched only by their collective positivity and goodcheer!

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Disappointingly few had got the memo about mandatory tu tu wearing, but maybe they were all too focused on preparations for the morrow. Fair enough. You have to respect the right of everyone to participate in parkrun in their own way, them’s the rules.

This is a three lapper course, and a very pretty one at that. It’s quite a teeny park really, and if you look inwards there seems to be rich habitat for wildlife and if you look outwards you can see tower blocks that surround the green space. Because it’s pretty compact, you can see the other parkrunners ahead of you at first if you are slower, and later on behind you as they come up to lap you, and then ahead of you again once they’ve passed. I got lapped more than once by some, so plenty of opportunity for ‘hellos’ and mutually supportive acknowledgements.

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The first lap I did solo, pausing to acknowledge marshals as I passed. Hurrah for the high vis heroes, who were universally chilled and cheery as well as often cheering which is always a parkrun win. Aren’t they all gawgeous! And just like quality street chocolates, each one is someone’s favourite, personally, I can’t put a barcode to choose between them. The loveliest marshal is always the one you have seen or interacted with most recently.

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At some point I fell into step with the parkwalkers, briefly. One said ‘I have to ask this, why the tu tu?’ I explained about it being a 22 day so a 22 parkrun. The other parkwalker asked ‘well, does that mean you’d wear a tu tu on the 22nd if it was a work day as well. Dear reader, I had never previously considered this possibility, but it makes perfect sense! Genius even. ‘I’m going to say yes to that’ I replied, enigmatically, because honestly I think I should. Though could be tricky if I was filming a period drama say, but I daresay there would be a work around, either by channeling my inner tu tu, or by recognising work is so thin and far between anway, it’s not too likely to be an issue. Good shout though. They pulled ahead as I slowed. I’m so over this walking thing. I start reasonably perky, but as I progress, I get slower and slower. I feel a need to point out that although I like taking photos en route, it is also partly a masking/ coping strategy as I have to keep stopping. I’m heart broken by my physical limitation it’s not fair, and although in some ways it makes life easier having a hidden disability, in other ways it makes it harder because I feel so judged and misunderstood at times. Some people who try to be encouraging suggesting you ‘just try a little run’ it’s well meant but jars. I know my limitations, and in honesty walking the distance at an even pace and without a walking aid is challenge enough for me for now.

As you get further round the course, we came upon the cherry blossom avenue. Oh wow, this is properly amazing. We picked absolutely the best weekend to do this course for blossom appreciation purposes. It arched over the runners and was properly gorgeous. I tried to take some pics, but not sure they quite do the sight justice.

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After dancing down the avenue, you emerge and you swerve round toward the finish area, which is also the start area, only the opposite direction and then you do a u-turn around the tree, a sort of looping the loop bit. Like I said, very much like I imagine the Curly Wurly of Somerdale Pavilion parkrun to be, only with possibly better visibility for this weekend at least. Then there is a brief contraflow as you head back out again. Like this:

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Did you spot what I did there, I know, sneaky. parkrun pranking you, but you were too smart for me I bet…

I was lapped by some I knew and some I knew friends of friends of. ‘Dolly or Bev’ SURPRISE, I was late with my ‘arbitrary’ which was ironic, as this was after all my very much arbitrary parkrun number, I should have been more on it. Oh well, good to have parkrun friends with me now… I’ll nail it one day.

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I was slowing for the third lap, and ended up with one of the tailwalkers keeping me company. I learned a bit more about the space. Turns out, this used to be football pitches, but just kept flooding massively, so the powers that be gave up trying to hold back the tide and rather embraced it. Now there is a lake and a fenced platform that seems to be quite a distance from it is actually perfectly placed for when it rains as the water level really does come up that high. This means the green space provides excellent habitat, and presumably is protected by dint of the water levels, from being built on, hurrah. Green spaces are at such a premium in urban environments, and this one is a corker.

Round we went. I learned that just at the start of the cherry blossom avenue is a marshal spot where often a tambourine is flourished with aplomb. Today the aplomb was clapping themed, but none the worse for that. About half way round the final lap, my parkrun companions came back to join me for some of the route. We admired the sights together. The tail walker collected cones in our wake. All good.

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As we just came round in sight of the final corner lined with tree stumps towards the finish a volunteer was already removing cones ahead of us. This did make my heart sink somewhat, not gonna lie. They were cheery enough calling out ‘I just got impatient and I’m on course close down so thought I’d start’. I get that, I really do, but I hadn’t finished so… I totally understand it’s not meant to make you feel unwelcome as a walker, but it did make me cringe, . It’s like a fairy dying every time you say ‘I don’t believe in fairies’ except that fairies aren’t real so they can’t die. However, I am very real, an every time I see a course being closed down ahead of me or finish funnel packed away before I’ve been through my parkrun heart breaks a little. Since becoming a parkwalker rather than parkrunner I’ve had a quiet weep on the way back from rather too many parkruns. I hate being the one people got frustrated waiting for but it’s confusing too, are walkers welcome or not. Overall, this was a very welcoming and lovely parkrun, but it made me feel incredibly awkward that a volunteer had felt I took took too long. It feeds my insecurity, I feel I take too long too, but I can’t help it, and I need my parkruns too, maybe more than many of the parkrunners who are able to run in other contexts. It is a battle with myself to go to parkruns these days, I am never confident of whether a particular parkrun will welcome me or not. Never mind, I would have 48,599 people running past me tmrw, I’d focus on that, and up until this point I’d felt ok about being slow. I think people who are fast literally cannot comprehend how long it takes to walk if you have a disability or health issue or are just really unfit. Even when I ran some people would routinely comment on social media that anyone can walk 5k in such and such a time which wasn’t too far off my run time. Well maybe a young fit male could, but that’s only a small cohort of parkrunners. Reference early comments about having a fastest 500 finish times, it all feeds into the same narrative of slower participants not being as important as speedier ones. I don’t think parkrun means to do this, but there is work to be done for it to be truly inclusive in my opinion. Oh well. It is still a lovely parkrun, and I did walk it, and I was made welcome, just a blip…

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Soon the finish funnel appeared, and aren’t they lovely. And yes, I would have finished more quickly had I not paused to take photos but see above, I paused to take photos because I can’t walk continuously. It was lovely to see the whole funnel up, ready and waiting. I crossed the line and entered the funnel was processed and timed in, and scanned and surrendered my token, with the tailwalkers just behind as is the parkrun way. Then the volunteers set about results processing and finishing off the close down, and there were purposeful huddles and important looking cone wrangling going on. Hurrah for high vis heroes. We said our thank yous and goodbyes and left the team to their parkrun purposefulness. It is always remarkable to see how events come together, work their magic and then disappear into the non parkrun universe until parkrunday comes around once again.

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There is a cafe on site, we availed ourselves of this for coffee. The food options are limited, and non existent for vegans, but super friendly, and the coffee I thought was good. Nice to have a brief parkfaff. Hurrah!

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and then, once again, time to depart. Bye bye Sutcliffe parkrun, thank you for the warm welcome to your gorgeous park. Thanks especially to whosoever it was who stuck all those individual pink blossoms to the each and every tree down the central avenue to create an extra special ambience. Your efforts were – indeed still are – very much appreciated. Totes loving your work!

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So you see, tu tu to ta dah indeed, just like I promised! Three hundred parkruns done, tick.

Just in case you were there, and you missed them, photos from today can be found on this google drive link, but only for a week more, then I’ll delete it because my cloud will burst otherwise, but if you want to keep any, you can download yourself. Go wild! But expect to find it pretty empty by the middle of May, you have been warned 🙂 https://photos.app.goo.gl/EeGghfFjorjkEM7FA

Oh you want to know how it went with the procession the next day? Pretty good to be fair. I reckon that I got the waving bit totally nailed, and although I didn’t actually count everyone who passed, it was on the news with 48,599 people along the route – more if you count the marshals and escorts, so I’ll take that. I feel we maintained more enthusiasm and channeled more joy than the actual royals who frankly are looking somewhat stiff and lacking animation, no such half hearted measures on our part. We set out our pitch outside the house I was being hosted in, and then just stayed there all morning whilst people jigalonged by, hurrah!

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Thanks to all who came on by. Awesome to see you all, each and every one!

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And this woman was extra sensational, Go Hassan Go! Feeling the fear and doing it anyway, totally smashed it. I like to think my rattle spinning and enthusiasm helped a lot! Amazing females indeed. Thanks for coming by, appreciated. 😉

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Thanks to the 227 fellow parkrunners and 27 high vis heroes who joined me for my 300th parkrun. I reckon we all jigalonged our tree identical labs very expertly. Thanks too to the 48 thousand 599 passers by who took the trouble to run by me on the Sunday, honestly, you made it pretty special. Yay for the running community who made it so. You are all stars to me.

That’s all for now, but as always, you can browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though. And don’t forget to check out the pics if you joined the field at Sutcliffe parkrun on tu tu day, you never know, this could be your dream parkrun photo, best of all time. To be fair, that’s pretty unlikely, but you never do quite know. Good luck! Time is ticking though, those pics won’t be there for long… Do what you must.

Oh, but this is cool!! A timely reminder to get yourself on a volunteer roster near you in time for next parkrunday. Go awn, go awn, you know you want to! I mean not necessarily trentham gardens, lovely as that is, you could opt in to your nearest and dearest.

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Bowled over by Bowling Park parkrun, where everything is genuinely fine! ;)

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‘Supportive, inclusive and non-judgemental‘, that’s what me and Red Ted overheard a parkwalker saying as we checked out the venue for Bowling Park parkrun. Phew, good to know. Mind you, although of course we should try not to judge anyone else in any context, but that isn’t to say there won’t ever be any consequences for poor life choices. We were discussing this amongst the volunteers at Sheffield Olympic Legacy Park junior parkrun the other day. I’ve only just discovered the Netflix series ‘The Good Place‘

Why had no-one told me about this before? I had to stumble across it all by myself, but what a find! It’s genuinely laugh out loud funny. I mean, the ‘lol’ acronym gets carelessly thrown about all the time, without holding literal truth, but this is proper hilarity inducing stuff, stimulating the laugh out loud reflex even when watching alone. This is very rare indeed. I was doing the ‘have you seen’ conversation in anticipation of sharing the joy with other volunteers and met an almost universal chorus of ‘oh yes, it’s properly hilarious’ which please me, because these are clearly my people in taste as well as parkrun volunteering worlds, but also enraged me, why have they been keeping this secret joy from me? Is it some sort of treacherous conspiracy. Anyway, I found one person who hadn’t seen it, and contracted with them that they must watch at least two episodes. If they don’t like it at that point, well, it’s clearly not their thing, this would horrify me, but I’d have to accept it. Hence the discussion we had about consequences for thoughts and actions – everyday ethics if you will (a pleasing irony to those of you who have seen the series). The point being, those of us in the know agreed that we would not reject or judge the person, but of course there would be consequences of their choice. We would from hereon in have to regard them with a lingering look of pity and sadness. It would be unavoidable, so not quite judging but… Anyway, on the subject of good places, this parkrunday took me to Bowling Park parkrun, another new to me event. Not sure if I should use ‘the good place’ segway as if you’ve seen the series it might not seem so apt, but if you haven’t? Well, there’ll be no spoilers from me, just take my advice, don’t read anything about it, just dive in, it’s so much more fun if you don’t know what’s coming. And that is definitely true of parkrun too, so let’s dive in!

Right, so where was I? Oh yes, Bowling Park parkrun. I hadn’t really considered where to go this parkrunday very far in advance, but then ambassador Zee suggested this as a possible venue as it’s had a fibonacci number event coming up. I’m not particularly doing that challenge, but it is a parkrun that I’ve not made it to yet, which is within easy reach of Sheffield so sometimes identifying a related challenge for a parkrun shunts it to the top of the list. So it was with Bowling Park parkrun. As it happened, then the great ambassador couldn’t make it – or maybe just didn’t want to be seen with me, I forget which, I decided to go anyway, I’d have Red Ted to keep me company after all, plus all those friends I hadn’t met yet. Yes, everything would be fine, grand even. Hurrah.

A bit of pre parkrun research of the official Bowling Park parkrun website blah de blah told me that:

Where is it?

The event takes place at Bowling Park, Bowling Hall Road, Bradford, BD4 7TL. See Course page for more details.

and the course is described thus:

Course Description

Starting at the children’s playground, the route heads up the hill. Two and a half clockwise laps and then turns right up the hill to finish close the Lodge cafe.

There is parking on the roads around Bowling Park. Please be considerate towards local residents when parking on the road. Please do not block private drives etc. There is also parking available at Asda, Rooley Lane for parkrunners using the store.

Hmm, pretty minimalist to be fair, it looks like this:

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So like a deflated figure of eight basically.

I extended my research to checking out the Bowling Park parkrun Facebook page and learned from this that one of the core team was doing some sort of takeover event to garner support for a marathon challenge he’d be completing on the Sunday, in aid of Emerge Young People’s Charity No mention of fibonacci fears re numbers, but the event was clearly going ahead. Jolly good, everything is fine.

parkrunday morning came around. I woke stupidly early, the duvet was appealing, but my plan had been set, no point in messing about. Did the essential pre departure routines, counting my tadpoles, listening out for the wren, deciding which buff to wear, dig out my barcode.

It was a straightforward drive to Bowling Park, I wasn’t over confident about the loo situation, so when I was near I spotted the ginormous ASDA I decided to stop off there to avail myself of the facilities. Little Lucy Factoid for you, this ASDA is the only one in the Northern Hemisphere which is actually visible from space, so you will have no difficulty finding it, unless you are coming from completely the opposite direction I suppose, but I think you can see if from about 100 miles away in all direction. Where are you right now? Is it dark? If not, just take a peek out the window now if you can, there it is! Told you. Impossible to miss. One cautionary note though, as well as being the most enormous ASDA ever, it has speed bumps appropriate to this stature. They were the most savage I’ve ever encountered, and the loop into the store is basically a slalomesque u-turn. Fine if you are going slowly enough, and for the record, I was, however the slightest bit of ice and you’d be helplessly sliding sideways into the line of oncoming traffic. If it is icy and you are driving, get a companion or staff member to run ahead of your vehicle waving a flag or something, just to keep everyone safe. They might lay bubble wrap or rubber matting over the speed bumps for you whilst they were about it, you wouldn’t want to jar any important muscle groups just ahead of your parkrun.

I was early, quelle surprise, and so decided to chance the parking near the park. There was loads of parking in ASDA, and I don’t think it is that far to walk, but I always fret about adding anything extra to the parkrun distance in case I come unstuck in some way en route. In fact, there was ample on-road parking right outside the main entrance. This isn’t a particularly busy event, so I think parking isn’t too much of an issue. Aaverage attendance is 60, there were 88 or us this week, but only 22 the week before. I didn’t check if the number of participants has to be divisible by 11 every time but I presume it must be. Every parkrun has it’s own unique characteristics, perhaps this is Bowling Park parkruns USP? A particular boon for Nelson Hunters.

Having parked, and been indecisive about whether to wear extra layers or not, I headed to the main entrance. You could see the Park Cafe, and beside it an open door where there is indeed a loo. This loo also acts as a sort of mausoleum for the old Bowling Park parkrun pop up sign. Less popped up, than propped up, for eternity, or however many years it takes for that fabric to degrade. It wasn’t the only item set to endure that I came across, but more of this later. High vises were being dished out, and a van and mini marquis, marquee gazebo was up displaying leaflets for the youth organisation that was part of the take over for today’s event. There was quite a buzz about proceedings. I think possibly some people attending were new to parkrun and excited about what the morning would hold.

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The sun was shining, the air was crisp. I had time to go for a little explore. As is really the norm, I was once again super impressed by the park. The write up doesn’t really do it justice. Granted, it maybe isn’t huge, but perhaps because the space is undulating and has lots of mature trees it feels like a real green and tranquil sanctuary. It makes you want to go and explore. Having seen where the gazebo was I assumed that was the start so no distance to go so I headed off up the hill for a mini explore. It was doing this I overheard the parkwalker – who ironically was having a little jogget at the time – sharing their positive views of parkrun in general and parkwalk in particular. This was reassuring, hurrah.

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The park was all lovely and the mature trees truly glorious, but not gonna lie, the thing that got me really fired up was the three bears! Red Ted had his very own tribe and photo op. There aren’t enough bears at parkrun generally, and now it’s been two consecutive weeks, what with Beacon Hill parkrun also delivering on that front. But, lovely as Beacon Hill was, from Red Ted’s perspective, just the one bear. Here there were three! Hurrah! Cue many photos. Honestly, he was thrilled, could bearly contain himself! Not seen him this happy since he got sight of the latest parkrun magazine.

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Red Ted got quite into the whole photoshoot vibe, and by the time I looked up and towards were everyone had previously gathered, there was nothing but tumbleweed and abandoned coats. Uh oh. I’d not really checked out the course details of where to start. Since they’d not gone past me, they had clearly mustered in completely the opposite direction. Ooops. I put on a little shuffle to find them. Fortunately, they weren’t far away, just round the corner near the children’s play area. I missed the first timers’ welcome, assuming there was a separate one, but was in time for most of the Run Director’s briefing. He was explaining about his challenge the following day. As far as I could gather, he will be running the Manchester Marathon and whilst he is pounding the streets doing that, young people from Emerge will each run a mile each in a successive relay, and the fun will be seeing whether it is the group of young people’s combined times, or the RD’s Manchester miles which are completed the fastest. Obviously we know parkrun is a run not a race, but for tomorrow, mind spin, definitely a race not a run. Who will finish first. Quite a high pressure race methinks, I’ve seen how much of a spurt youngsters can muster, then again, brilliant way to stay motivated. It will all be happening in the park. A pretty original fundraising idea. It will keep everyone engaged. Also, bonus, loads of extra volunteers today cheering everyone round. Hurrah!

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Lots of clapping and thanking and general parkrun cheeriness, before we were awf!

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I did my new usual of watching everyone shoot off, and then slotted in behind, watching the colourful bunting of runnings disappearing over the hills and far away. Though as I topped the first slope, I saw them again, wending their lycra way like migrating wildebeest over the far end of the park. And most jolly and athletic they were too! Just look! You’ll have to look at the other shots along the way before you get to them though.

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One striking thing about the park, apart from the proliferation of bears of all sizes of course, is how many interesting landscape features there are. There seemed to be a plethora of solid stone stairways leading to flat open grassed areas. There were fountains and water troughs all sorts really. Hang on, I need to google this, it is a space rich in history I’m sure. Right, here we go, accordingtowikipediasoitmustbetrue Bowling Park

is a public urban park near Bolling Hall in Bradford, West Yorkshire, England about 1+1⁄2 miles (2.4 km) south south east from the city centre. The park is irregularly shaped with an area of 50 acres

In the late 1870s Bradford Council purchased large areas of land for the park, including part of the former grounds of Bolling Hall, Bradford.[1] Earlier in the 19th century part of this land had been mined for coal and ironstone.[1] In 1878 competitive plans were invited for the design of the park and later that year the plans by Kershaw and Hepworth of Brighouse were accepted.[1]

The park was created between the years 1878 and 1880 and subsequently opened in 1880 by Angus Holden.[1][2][4] The design of the created park however, differed significantly from the Kershaw and Hepworth plans.[2] The Kershaw and Hepworth plans show a croquet lawn, a cricket ground and a large reservoir bordering the park in the east[1] but none of these were ever constructed. In the 20th century various ponds in the park were filled in so that none remain today, and an area in the south-east of the park laid out for golf.[1] Bowling greens, tennis courts and a second promenade were added in the 1920s.[1] A free, weekly timed 5km parkrun is held at 9am every Saturday.

It mentions actual parkrun dear reader! What a fine wikipedia entry this is indeed! Goes on to say:

The main carriage entrance is in the north-east on Bowling Hall Road at Lister Avenue. There is a second similar entrance in the north-west on Bowling Park Drive—both entrances having two-storey lodges.[1] In the west, there is another entrance from West Bowling with a tree-lined embankment approach.

Running through the park is a serpentine carriageway within which are a series of interlinked curving paths that together with shrubs and trees enclose a series of irregularly shaped zones.[1]

The site slopes down to the north west making it suitable for tobogganing in winter.[2] There is a fenced off children’s play area,[2] a youth cafe,[5] a multiactivities area,[6] crown green bowling greens operated by the bowling club,[7] and a pitch and putt course created in 1924.[5][8] Elsewhere in the park are the base and roots of a fossilised tree.[9] Friends Of Bowling Park is a voluntary organization who organize community fundays in the summer, and help keep the park free of litter, and along with Bradford Bees YMCA have helped establish Bowling Park Community Orchard.

I knew it! I knew I’d seen another fossilised tree, it was to that I was alluding earlier on. I took a picture, hang on. It looks rather unremarkable in the photo I know, but it’s quite something to think how long this has endured. parkrun will endure as long I hope. Even as hell freezes over, dedicated Run Directors will be popping out cones on what they calculate to be parkrunday in perpetuity. Core teams always do all they can to keep the event parkrunning, sometimes against seemingly impossible odds. This tree, and the propped up sign do likewise. The tarmac around the tree roots is a mistake in my eyes, but looks like the roots are holding their own. These fossilised tree routes seem to be quite common in the Bradford parks. I’ve seen one in Lister Park at the Brilliant Bradford parkrun and also at Horton Park parkrun. Surely another example of the edutainment value of parkrun, never seen these before in my life prior to parkrun, and now, thanks to a bit of tourism to Bradford parkruns I have borne witness to a whole hat trick of them.

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Entry is free and the park is open at all times. In the event of bad weather visitors have the option of going to Bolling Hall and Museum to the northeast on the other side of Bowling Hall Road.

Oh, but this last bit is really confusing, and indeed was on the day. Why is there a Bolling Hall not a Bowling Hall, and why Bowling Park in the first place. Oh well, some things inevitably remain a mystery, it’s good in a way, keeps things interesting. It would be dull indeed if we knew everything in advance. Though tbf Good Janet seemed to find it more than handy, servicing the needs of the newly departed arriving in The Good Place… There is more about the history of Bowling Park in the Friends of Bowling Park rather excellent webpage, which includes some excellent historic photos. These are two of my favourites. Love the outfits, must as parkrunners like to dress for the occasion so too did these fine Bradford folk. The more things change eh…

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Anyway, you get the idea, very nice park, lots to see and do. The Bolling Museum isn’t a typo but rather either an appealing or confusing juxtaposition of names. ‘Bolling Hall was for many years the seat of two important land-owning families, the Bollings and the Tempests‘ apparently. Though to be honest, I’m getting suspicious now, they sound like characters in a Dickens novel and also, I’d like to get back to talking about the Bowling Park parkrun if it’s all the same for you. Not going round and round the park like I’d become trapped on the micro cycle track, unable to navigate my way out. This is Bowling Park parkrun’s answer to Somerdale Pavilion’s Curly Wurly. Apart from the fact the course doesn’t include it, it’s pretty much identical. #goodtoknow

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Where was I? Oh yes, plodding up the hill, watching other parkrunners looping back the other way. I was filling in the void between the parkwalker ahead and the tailwalkers behind. There was a marshal point at the highest point, just ahead of some cheering youths from the project I think, who were doing sterling work cheering parkrunners on from outside a rather shut looking ice cream/snack shack? It was very closed, so hard to tell. The marshal though was in action escorting a fallen parkrunner. The route is all tarmac, and a good surface, but recent rain had made the surface unexpectedly slippery underfoot and speeding round the corner would be much like navigating the Asda entrance and exit road in icy conditions, you’d be sliding sideways and out of control before you knew it.

I continued, taking in the greenery. The park is lovingly used and cared for. Many trees were in blossom, and there were signed wildlife areas. I was somewhat confused by little footprints on studs at intervals. Truthfully, I found this somewhat bizarre and unsettling. Isn’t it the widely used symbol for the pro-life movement? If that was not the explicit intention, it seemed to be a very strange choice of marking for what turned out to be the Daily Mile health walk health work and/or the Scenic Stroll. Distracting at the very least. I couldn’t find anything to explain this choice, and half wonder if someone has snuck it through unnoticed. I recognise it is a contentious issue for some, but for me I think only a woman should be able to make decisions about her own body and control her own reproductive rights. It doesn’t seem appropriate to be using this imagery in the context of health and fitness walks. Oh well. On the plus side, nature trails, and three bears adventuring possibilities. Odd though, very odd indeed… Surely not officially endorsed?

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It’s a nearly three lap course, so inevitably, quite early on on my first lap, the super speedy parkrunners were lapping me. I’m getting to quite appreciate seeing the faster runners, it’s an unexpected boon of multilap courses. I used to avoid multilappers when I was able to run, finding them a bit dull. As a parkwalker I appreciate multi-lappers more, you are less on your own, and you get to appreciate your surroundings rather more, spotting additional detail each time you pass.

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Of course, as well as the passing parkrunners, you get to interact with the lovely marshals on the way round. They were all acing their directional pointing, charismatic smiles and enthusiastic cheers. It helped that it was a bright sunshiny day, and people’s moods seemed to be correspondingly upbeat.

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The route takes you past the finish area, so that meant I got to see some of the faster parkrunners being cheered in. It was all very jolly. Social too. You are spat out of the finish funnel in a trajectory that takes you straight to the cafe should you wish to avail yourself of it. People seemed happy to linger and cheer other finishers home, which is always nice to see.

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Round past the finish, up the hill … and this time, a super smiley marshal is back in situ. From our snatched communication, I gather he is personally responsible for organising the parkrun weather fairies to bathe Bowling Park in perpetual sunshine! Isn’t that fab? What a hero. Another high vis super star oozing positivity, it is the parkrun way! Quite a cheer squad was going on up there, high fives and team work a-plenty to see us round for lap two.

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Clearly, any parkrunners who were beneficiaries of the high fives on offer picked up a massive psychological boost and with it a turn of speed that made them veritably fly onwards down the hill. Hurrah!

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So you get to scoot round again, admire the views, wave at the marshals, peer at the information signs, more marshals, more landscaping and ooh look! We are back to the finish area all over again!

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Sailing by one again for the final nearly lap. This time the other participants were long finished, or at least the speedier ones were, so no more lapping, a contemplative lap. Eventually I was at the turn off point for the finish funnel, and a little meander along a tree lined path towards the beaming smiles of the finish funnel awaiting me with fingers poised over the timing app and ready to spring into action to give out and subsequently scan my newly acquired, but quickly scanned and surrendered finish token.

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and that was that, another parkrun memory banked.

But wait! There was more! I was intrigued by the library box and had a little peep inside and found – much to Red Ted’s continuing delight – not just books but another bookend bear. Splendid!

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Honestly, he’d have been very happy to stay on a bit longer. I would have been too, were it not that I was feeling it a bit by now. It is more undulating than you might think, and although I’m still a slow walker, I had tried to shuffle on a bit to see how it was. It was pretty uncomfortable, so now time to leave the blossom and Bowling Park parkrun people behind, but it’s definitely an event to come back to. Thank you lovely parkrun peeps. How the fundraising marathon event was fun and fruitful, and the bears aplenty and friendly too.

’til next time…

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Oh and for triangulation purposes, here is the run report for this event, written by a fellow tourist. You’re welcome. And you can check out what happened with the Marathon Challenge here – exciting!

There you go.

Same time next week?

Til then, if you the mood takes you, you can browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though. Or you could just close your eyes and imagine again the blossom and bears at Bowling Park in Bradford. Won’t go too far wrong with that option, but the choice is yours. Just as long as you choose a parkrun somewhere eh?

🙂

Beckoned to Beacon Hill Country Park parkrun, a most eggcellent and hoppy Easter venue.

Whatever the subtext inherent in Blanche’s utterings, it’s not a bad thing sometimes to have to rely on the ‘kindness of strangers.’ Anyway, in the parkrun world, there aren’t really any proper strangers, because for the most part, if you have done a parkrun before, you will meet friends of friends at any random parkrun anywhere in the world. Not so much grappling for six degrees of separation as ‘ooh, you’ll know so and so‘ and so it begins. If that doesn’t work, well then new people at a parkrun are basically that old cliche of ‘friends you haven’t met yet’. Really, they are! Today is a case in point as will unfold if you have nothing better to do than read on.

Honestly, parkrun is quite a breeding ground for the aptness of cliched phrases. Phrases that it’s all too easy to mock, yet we might secretly have up on a poster at home somewhere. Not ‘live, laugh, love‘ though I draw the line at that. Then again, did you know it actually comes from a longer poem? No, I didn’t either until quite recently. Might make you see it differently, or might not, I haven’t read the poem, so it might be equally trite. Another thing I didn’t know until just now, but I’ve readitonwikipediasoitmustbetrue, is that that whole aesthetic vibe is known as Cheugy. I know, interesting isn’t it? Rhetorical question, yes it is! Let me illuminate further:

‘Things described as cheugy include “mom jeans“, “live, laugh, love signs”, “Minion memes“, and “anything that says ‘girl boss‘ on it”.While it has been compared to being basic,^[3] some sources have suggested that it is “not quite ‘basic'”.^[1] The Evening Standard said that “the cheug’s logical archnemesis is probably the hipster‘

Hmmm, I mean, that is quite a challenging statement in some ways. Because, in the interests of full disclosure and transparency, personally I do quite like Minion memes – the microphone drop is a classic. The phrase ‘Girl Boss’ is an abomination of course, anything that infantilises women through language like that is a ‘no’ from me, but then again, to have someone who uses a jam jar as a drinking vessel (that’s how someone once defined hipster to me many years back, and it’s sort of stuck) as your archnemesis – is almost admirable. Imagine them in a fight and it’s hard to know who would win. You’ll have to come to your own conclusion. The thing is though, today, the kindness of strangers really picked me up, so hooray! And I’m not using it in the sense of trying to reframe abuse, (that’s good to know, obvs) I actually mean it, the kindness of strangers was a total tonic. Even so, it is a classic film though ‘A Streetcar Named Desire‘ if more than a little disturbing. I might need to watch it again, it’s been a while. Meantime, here is a minion image to muse on. And Viv and Marl too. Go on, knock yourself out, enjoy.

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You’re welcome.

By the way, do you remember that Google mic drop April Fool? That was awkward…. Oh, just me then, never mind, it’s not the first time that’s happened.. Moving on, where was I? Oh yes, heading off to Beacon Hill Country Park parkrun, for their Event 6.

I have been vaguely aware of Beacon Hill starting up recently, and wanted to avoid going too soon to give the event a chance to settle in before descending on them. Not that I was expecting any particular special arrangements on my behalf, though wouldn’t say no to a red carpet down the finish funnel obvs, and I’d properly LOVE to tick off my last outstanding bingo number. It’s just that current etiquette is to avoid making parkrun tourism to brand new events so the teams don’t get overwhelmed and scared off before they’ve had a chance to establish and flourish. I have a new phone, in fact have crossed over to the other side and am now in possession of an actual smartphone. Not gonna lie, it’s not just amazing to have a decent camera at last, but I love the 5k app. When I was pondering where to go, this came up as a new to me and near one, and it happens to be a new needed number for my Wilson Index (the maximum continuous parkrun event numbers you have attended – at any event) taking it to the dizzy heights of 6! Fortunately, I’m not in a hurry, and I’m not particularly going for the Wilson challenge, mainly because it seems a lot of effort for an arbitrary achievement, but not gonna say no to the chance to sneak a new number in. Today was Beacon Hill Country Park parkrun number 6, so fitted the bill very nicely. Not too far from Sheffield, and I’d heard good things about the course and event so yep, that’d do.

The course blah de blah on the official Beacon Hill Country Park parkrun website describes the course thus:

Course Description: The course starts near the Native Tree Collection by the lower car park. The first mile is uphill through woods until reaching the upper slopes of The Beacon. The route then takes an anticlockwise loop, down the Rippon Avenue (of beech trees) and around the West Beacon Fields, enjoying the panoramic views across the Trent Valley to the Peak District beyond. The course then follows the same track back down the hill, through the woods with views that open out across the Soar Valley. After a couple of sharp bends, the course finishes on the field in front of the café. The route can get very muddy in places in wet weather.

Please keep to the left throughout the course except when crossing the route at the top of the hill. This is a multi-use track used by horses, pedestrians and cyclists.

Facilities: Toilets are available near the entrance to the Lower Beacon car park, and also in the Upper Beacon car park (which is also half way round the course). There are children’s play areas near both car parks.

Location of start: The event starts near the native tree plantation by the lower car park.

The nearest parking is available at the Lower Beacon car park (LE12 8TA, w3w ///pull.scrambles.deaf), car park marshals will normally be on hand to help you park as closely as possible. Alternative parking is available at the larger Upper Beacon car park (w3w ///mend.cube.mile) which is approximately 1 mile from the start.

Post Run Coffee: Every week we grab a post parkrun coffee at the Beacon Hill café which is open from 9am – please come and join us!

and it looks like this:

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Basically another contender for the badly drawn tadpole route, or maybe a kite? Like the one in the song, not the bird. The course does go pretty high up so it might be quite a good sport for kite flying when the wind is up I should imagine. Also, flying a kite is seasonally topical, only this weekend the Guardian listed it as a recommended activity for their ‘Blooming marvellous:56 small ways to spring into action‘ saying:

‘5. Fly a kite

It’s beautiful. It’s meditative. It’s contemplative. There’s only a small chance of it going berserk and injuring a child. For inspiration check out windswept.co.uk.’

Worth a go anyway, participating at this parkrun, whilst waiting for an opportunity to actually go fly a kite I mean. I do hope you are following. More than that, actually quite an eggciting prospect to hop up Beacon Hill and not too much of a scramble to get there being but an hour or so from Sheffield. Bit more if you are paranoid about being late and fearful of not getting a parking space near the start. I can just about manage to walk the parkrun distance now, though it typically will wipe me out for the days following, but not an extra two miles on top, particularly a hilly two miles. Yep, would Beacon Hill Park parkrun would be most fine and dandy, but a skip and a hop really.

Speaking of skipping and hopping, have you seen these cool chicks Not that chicks hop, but that big bunny most certainly will?

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Why were they crossing the road? To get to Florence Park junior parkrun of course!

Fair play to them, this is eggactly how it should be done! It was the reference to the egg timers that particularly cracked me up! Not gonna lie, in my world, that is actual genius! And as for having the actual Easter Bunny in charge of proceedings, properly awesome. Every parkrun should have a bunny on duty, I don’t see why not, they have one as a Wellness Officer for the Police in California after all.

Still, that’s tomorrow, we are still on today, Easter Saturday. I was feeling a bit sad this morning, in every sense. I’m so over being physically limited in what I can do. I could never run with particular aplomb before becoming ill, but I could run for fun, and mix in with the parkrun throng invisibly, it’s grim being such an outlier at times. Being final finisher is sort of a thing. You can’t just rock up, do your parkrun and slip away. Real inclusion is to be so much part of an activity you are unnoticed, I’m a way of that scenario at a parkrun unfortunately. I miss being able to trust my body. It was never anything to write home about in terms of appearance, I hardly had the body of a Goddess to start with, unless there is a Goddess of people who have been hauled through a hedge backwards? I don’t think there is, but there should be. I can see them being quite in demand. Despite this, I took it for granted that my body could do stuff. Walk all day; muck out stables; dig over gardens; run for a bus; ride a bike; trot upstairs; walk to work or to the doctors; drive for a couple of hours stretch or even stand in a queue for as long as needed. It’s what a body can do that matters. I feel thwarted to have lost that confidence that if there was a physical thing I needed to do, I could just do it. Never gave it a thought. A consequence of this long, long incapacitation is that I’ve lost my way with parkrun a bit at times. I don’t really have a home parkrun as such anymore. I’ve lost confidence physically in what I can do, sometimes I think it’s in my head and I can do more if I just try, and then I do just try and it’s catastrophic. I can’t compute it. It’s not fair. I know other people have it worse, but I’m grieving for what I used to be able to do. The parkrun I used to regard as my home event isn’t a course suited for walkers. It has a couple of single file sections and is multi lap and doesn’t seem to entirely embrace parkwalking. I am not confident of having a good experience there, particularly as I would inevitably be the cause of many tailbacks on the way round. I am in a constant search to find parkruns where I can participate without feeling a burden on events. Walking at parkrun can be complicated. I don’t want to rain on everyone else’s parade by messing up their parkrun experience, but I’d still like to find parkrun parades where I can join the merry throngs on their celebratory processions around their respective parks. Celebrating parkrun day of course! In case you were querying the reference there. So basically, I’m sad because I can only walk at parkruns and I worry that not all will be pleased to see a walker rock up.

I’m also sad because I feel many parkrun adventures are passing me by. Various parkrun folk have energy and finances I lack, which enable them to head off to a seemingly endless list of exotic parkrun locations. I am pleased for them, really I am, but I’m sad I can’t join in too. It’s getting to that time of year when FOMO is brutal if you make the mistake of browsing parkrun related Facebook groups. Although, from time to time people I know will offer to walk with me – last week being a fabulous case in point at Hackney Marshes parkrun, I do always feel when they do that they are sacrificing their run and I’m rather spoiling their parkrun experience. I’m embarrassed at how long it takes me to get round, fearful of an impatient event team at the finish, and just have that overwhelming sense of being a burden. I feel I can’t put upon the same people too often. I’d just like to be invisible. To rock up and do a parkrun in the middle of the pack unnoticed.

To be fair, if I was actually properly invisible, I can think of other places I’d like to gatecrash too. Yes to theatre outings and a fly on the wall at important, usually hidden events. But I’d definitely also do minor poltergeist moving stuff around gigs, just for fun. Do you think you have to go everywhere naked for it to work? You know, like when the invisible man covered himself in bandages to appear normally visible? That would put me off some spots, but it would be alright in warmer climates I daresay, then again, midges. Hmm. You know what, I’m not pursuing that line of thought any more just now. It may lead to regrets. The point I’m trying to make is, that whilst for the most part people and teams are welcoming, it isn’t a given. Being an outlier can be a horrible feeling. Endlessly touristing on my own is pretty lonely sometimes, and nerve wracking too. Plus, I despair that I’m still nobby no-mates after so many years, parkrun travel buddies who share goals and aren’t fussed about time taken and live in the right geographical area are hard to find. Basically, this was the mood I woke up with. Just sad. Here we go again, off to a new parkrun on my own, just to walk round, it seemed madness. It’s just gone on too long, this not being able to do things. I still hope this isn’t the ‘new normal’ and that I will be able to run again, however ineptly, at some point in the future. Before all this happened, in the ago times, I was really wanting to test myself over ever longer distances, maybe take on maybe walking ultras if not running ones. I’d still like to, though accept that this seems ever more unlikely. Consequently, I was not feeling optimistic from under my duvet first thing. It seemed a lot of effort to get up and get out. Woe is me. The thing is, whilst I don’t endorse pity parties as a default position, I know they can drag you ever further along that downward spiral, sometimes you just have to allow yourself a bit of a slump and then you can pick yourself up and try again…

But dear reader fear not! My fear of being a problem and every parkrunner sighing inwardly and avoiding eye contact when I rocked up did not materialise. Beacon Hill Park parkrun embraced the parkrun inclusivity ethos. This is why having tailwalkers and parkwalkers is really helpful, people who are happy to go at a different pace, taking it all in and won’t tut at you for breing too slow. Another plus about attending a new-to-me event is that you get anonymity. There wouldn’t be any expectations put on me. There would be people for company if wanted, but more importantly for me, people who have come with the expectation of walking so that’s not a big deal. These things combined can help to stop me feeling quite so much in the way. Whilst it’s true I don’t have the same experience walking at parkrun as I did when I used to run it, and I do miss that, there are other wins from taking things slowly. You can appreciate the surroundings more, and sometimes, like today, you get to chat to some really ace people as you twalk (talk and walk) or chootle (chat and pootle) your way around! #winningatparkrunife. I might have set off in a literal fog for the drive, and with a dense metaphorical existential fog in my head, but by the end of the morning both the literal and metaphorical fog had lifted for the time being at least. Phew. I still wish my body worked properly though. And that my legs were the same size. Funny what you don’t even notice until you do. Then again I have tadpoles, and they are pretty awesome, privilege to have them in my life, and I’m not even joking. What’s more, tomorrow is junior parkrun day, and that always gives an injection of feel good endorphins to carry you through the rest of the week. I wonder if there will be any Easter Bunny costumes? Hopping so. Things are looking up!

Away I went. It was a really straightforward drive, and although the satnav didn’t take me quite to the destination, it was pretty obvious where to head as there were handy brown signs to Beacon Hill Country park. Hurrah! Also, as I got nearer, the countryside became ever more enticing. This really is a beautiful part of the world, it’s fantastic to have so many parkruns to choose from in this neck of the woods, it is the hoppy prospect of parkruns to discover that has after all brought me here. Honestly, were it not for parkrun, there are so many little – and even quite big – corners, pockets and parks of the world I’d never have thought to explore.

It was about 8.20 when I arrived. There was already a merry cluster of car park marshals in situ to sort the parking. I had worried about being able to find a parking space but in fact there were quite a lot of free spaces at that time. The first marshal had the important job of pushing the button to issue a ticket, and I guess the other marshals would start waving people to the nearest available space as the carpark filled. Apparently, just having button pushers speeds things up enough to prevent tailbacks of people waiting to get in. I’d love that pushing the button job, it reminds me of the joy of using an old fashioned ink stamp when playing post offices at school. They don’t have them any more do they? Proper ink pads with heavy rubber stamps to flourish. Kills the fun element of the job I’d imagine. The nearest equivalent today is probably stamping passports or visas in some tin pot dictator’s domain. The greater the delusions of grandeur the more numerous and enormous the rubber stamps required to gain entry would need to be. That would be fun, even if living under a dictatorship would be quite a high price to pay for just one strand of job satisfaction. Still, it’s a thought. You have to find what joy in your labour you can. Anyway, stop distracting me about the stamps, the point is, the carpark is pretty spacious,. It does however lack any painted lines to indicate individual parking spaces, which means it’s less efficient in terms of space, hence the need for marshals. There were little piles of horse hair round and about – people can park horseboxes up and head off with, or indeed upon, their equine companion and trot along the trails. They groom them either before or after, hence the little piles of freshly removed horse hair. I was quite tempted to take some home. Not for me to stuff cushions with, but I wondered if the birds might like it for nesting. I didn’t though. Another bright idea that never came to fruition. You pay on exit by the way, so don’t lose your parking ticket. Oh and there are loos – or at least a loo – available pre parkrun. You can see the start/finish from the carpark too, so it’s all nicely compact and reassuring. Hurrah. I always feel better once I’ve sussed parking, precautionary pee and espied parkrun people. Phew. Beacon Hill Country Park parkrun was going to be just fine! Not just ‘fine’, but actually fabulous!

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First task, was to go and investigate the finish area. Eager beaver marshals were out and about purposefully striding around carrying signs and looking busy and important. Others were huddled together for a pre parkrun pep talk or possibly bodily warmth? The venue looked immediately magnificent. There were woodland trails just begging for you to plunge down them to explore. The sun was shining, the pop up sign was out. Yes, this was going to be splendid! Ooh, and that’s the Run Director doing her checks, and there is a lion, a frog and an actual mole. All the things, hurrah! I have it on good authority that Beacon Country Park is always bathed in this perpetual spring sunshine bursting with promise of new life, it was 100% of the time I was there anyway, which you have to concede is a pretty conclusive stat. Go check it out.

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There was also a bear! An actual bear, but this one seemed friendly, not the sort who would partially consume you and then spit out the remnants to finish off later.

People started to assemble, posing for the mandatory tourist photos, but also checking out the new parkrun magazine which has just reached event teams – and is also available to purchase from the parkrun shop if you don’t know a local Event Director or parkrun ambassador to personally deliver you a copy next time you are at your local Sheffield Olympic Legacy Park junior parkrun say.

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Did you spot the elves? They are hard to miss. Well dear reader, I learned during the course of the parkrun that these are quite famous in their own right. Meet Coblyn Bach and Coblyn Mawr, no, I don’t know which is which, or should that be who is who? I do know, they grew out of the Elf on a Shelf idea, and then it evolved into ‘an elf is for life, not just for Christmas’ and it follows logically that an elf (or indeed elves) are also for parkrun and particularly parkrun tourism. These were in the guardianship of one of the tailwalkers. In fact both tailwalkers are old hands at being responsible for mascots after years of training in various youth groups apparently. Mascots are pretty common at parkruns world wide, though some are more animated than others. Have you seen fluffy the Emu in action at Nambour parkrun? That’s pretty cool, if potentially slightly alarming too!

https://www.facebook.com/nambourparkrun/videos/771884377682066/

Good to know. Did you also spot the rather magnificent sign? This one:

The huge map of the course. Oh, and I think those are the official run report writers in the back of shot, FYI. Back to the sign though. I LOVED it. Sadly, it seems it took a bit of a tumble last week and smashed into a million pieces! I hope whoever had to count them all out got an extra volunteer credit. Anyway, it’s been lovingly reassembled, and if not as good as new in the pristine sense, I think it’s actually better than new, in that thes creases and repairs become part of its own story. You know, like that fine china that is prized even more greatly when repaired with gold Kintsugi – a Japanese art form of repairing ceramic. Breaks are seen as the history of an object rather than something to disguise. Maybe I should gold leaf my leg and then I’d feel better about it’s lack of functionality. It’s a thought? Then again, if I treated all my broken or rubbish bits I’d end up looking like C3PO and that would definitely work against my goal of being invisible at a parkrun so maybe not. Oh, unless it was a May the Fourth parkrun occasion, but quite a while til one of those comes around again, not until 2024 apparently. Put Wakefield Thornes parkrun in your dairy for that date is my advice, it’ll be worth the wait. Anyway, that’s missing the point, the point is, well done creative mendy parkrun people. You did good. Bet you can build fabulous space ships for star wars parkrun day next year too. Start collecting your toilet roles NOW. This is the one to beat IMHO

The next enrichment activity, was the first timers’ welcome. This was well attended, I think a fair few of us were tourists, but there were also some first time everers which warms the cockles of every parkrunner’s heart. Hurrah, their Saturdays will from henceforth be parkrundays and their lives will be the happier for it.

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It was a very good briefing. There was an unusually thorough but helpful course description. It dawned on me (slow on the uptake I know) that the reason there is a beacon on this hill, and it is called Beacon Hill Country Park is because there is firstly a hill, and secondly quite a high and steep one at that! This course basically goes up and up and up through the forest paths, looking out for horses and other park users, then round in a loop and back down again. Great views at the top reward your efforts, and if going up is hard, coming down is super fun. The instruction is basically to keep to the left, until you cross to go right and round the loopy bit in an anti clockwise direction. Sounded straightforward. We were then waved off to the Run Director’s Briefing. She scampering off ahead to clamber on a handy tabletop for maximum voice projection.

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On this bright sunshiney day, the Run Director gave her briefing with gusto and aplomb. She thanked volunteers, welcomed tourists and newbies and went through all the usual safety briefings. Dogs on short leads, one per person (I’d forgotten to bring a dog with me, but that was fine) usual things. She also told us that she was making her 5k parkrun debut as a Run Director which was not at all frightening apparently! Good to know. It is noticeable how many people who volunteer regularly at parkruns move between the junior and 5k parkrun events. Your efforts are appreciated parkrun volunteers everywhere. I felt like we were in safe hands. This is still a very new event, but it felt like a well oiled machine already, there is an attention to detail and great positivity too. This event wants to succeed. The alert to look out for horse riders so as not to spook them – or more accurately their steeds – for example, the intention is to co-exist supportively with other users and all will be well. It all felt lovely.

From the briefing, there is a group trek up to the start. Oh, ok, it is indeed up hill! Some regulars had already gathered there, missing the briefing. I’m not sure what I think about that, it seems a little disrespectful, but better than talking through a briefing if you feel you’ve heard it all before. Also, to be fair, if you’d parked at the top car park and walked down, you’d have got to the start line before the main assembly point. Run briefings often do take place at start lines so I suppose you might quite genuinely expect it to happen there. If you are touristing, keep on walking though, and join the briefings proper, and you’ll be rewarded with a proper loo in case of need as well.

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The woodland track is nice and bouncy under foot. We were warned that there might be muddy slidey patches, but I thought it was pretty good underfoot. A few puddle sections, but nothing too daunting. Some parkrunners did have buggies – albeit fancy off road ones – and seemed to manage fine. I can see why they have the briefing in the open space lower down. It’s quite snug at the start. People sort of naturally put themselves in approximate positions for finishing times, it felt unhurried though, not bargey. After a bit of shuffling about it was time to ‘go’ and go everyone went. I stuck to the side slotting in as the numbers thinned out, so I could walk without being an obstacle.

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Well, this is lovely. There is something super calming about being amongst trees. Forest bathing they call it. You feel instantly at peace. The soft woodland paths make everything feel quiet and calm. The faster parkrunners had streamed ahead, and for a little while I was ahead of the tailwalkers and parkwalkers so had the whole place to myself. It was gorgeous. You need to remember to look to the left and to the right to appreciate the tall trees and the woodland canopy and espy the views to the right. It helped that the weather was just perfect for visibility, with come clouds giving lovely tones to the vista. Pretty much perfect. And as if that vision of loveliness wasn’t enough in itself, after a bit a marshal came into sight. Cheerily sitting to keep us pointed in the direction and safe from galloping horses, and presumably them safe from us too. All good!

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You’d have a job getting lost on this route, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a role for marshals. They provided cheery support, companionship, safety monitoring, equine lookouting as well as directional pointing. On the whole the parkrunners seemed well behaved. The usual hotchpotch of cheeriness yomping along. There was one miscreant participant who had let her dog off the lead at the first possible opportunity. It was an elderly labrador pootling along. The problem is, it was a loose cannon. Although I’m much better than I was, a loose dog is quite scary for me as I worry about keeping my balance and I can’t take evasive action very easily if a dog lumbers across the track or stops suddenly, it doesn’t matter if it’s old and friendly it’s still a hazard. I don’t understand why a parkrunner would just ignore a rule, it’s like they cannot comprehend the danger their action presents. I gather someone else also noticed and asked for the dog to be put on a lead, and it was, but not gonna lie, it spoiled my experience of the parkrun initially. parkrun isn’t compulsory, you can run with your dog off lead elsewhere, so why you’d feel compelled to do so in the midst of a pack of 249 parkrunners I don’t know. On the plus side, they were soon swept ahead, not before the runner in question had called the dog back to them causing it to stop, and trot across the path of a sea of runners making their way up the track. Some accidents aren’t just random, they are entirely predictable. I mind about this having seen a lose parkrun dog cause an elderly non parkrunner to fall really badly at York parkrun, he looked to have broken his hip and as in this scenario it was an entirely avoidable situation. Oh well, nobody came to grief today, and once they’d disappeared over the horizon, the hazard had at least passed for me, though I resolved if it was still loose on the way back I would hang on to it myself.

Pretty soon, the speedier parkrunners were indeed hurtling back. The uphill I was still negotiating gave people a real turn of speed for the final mile. Bet they felt superhuman. Though to be fair some of them seemed to be anyway, fair flying along. I love watching people run, it’s the joy of being alive, and on a bouncy trail in spring sunshine, downhill all the way through a forest arch there was no better place to be on earth in that moment than right there and then. My photos can’t really capture it, but here are just a few.

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At the top of the upward bit, there is a cannily placed marshal to shoo you round to the right. It has to be said, this is a bit counterintuitive as you are on the left and your instinct is to keep going left like you would if you were going round a roundabout. There is an arrow to advise but you need to keep your wits about you. It didn’t help that I was gravitating towards the returning parkrunners which encourages you to go the wrong way. One participant with a buggy did slip through the net here, and I nearly did too, but a hyper vigilant parkwalker spotted my error and I was called back on track. Even if you did go wrong, it wouldn’t really matter, you just do the loop the other way round, exactly the same distance and you can’t get lost.

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Once we were safely on our anti-clockwise loop, there were no more returning runners, so we had the track to ourselves. I was doing my stop start photo taking malarky. After a bit of metaphorical leap frogging, I ended up in companionable stride with the two parkwalkers. Initially, I was a bit self conscious about my periodic stopping, but they were excellent twalking fellows and game for photo opportunities too. We were comparing parkrun stories, and I mentioned University Parks parkrun as a particularly welcoming one. I was quite done in afterwards, so never did a blog post about it which I rather regret, because it was super welcoming and fun. A veritable army of walkers and a chilled atmosphere throughout, despite it being a grand occasion for the celebration of a 500 milestone parkrun for one of the core team. Anyway, guess what? I know, you won’t be able to, but don’t worry I’ll burst if I don’t tell you. It was only their local parkrun! Get in! So then we were able to find many a common parkrun friend, proving my earlier point, that as soon as you enter the parkrun jamboree, you will quickly find you are part of a super network of connectivity that straddles the earth with nearly as far a reach as fungal mycelium and where the fruiting bodies are new parkruns and junior parkruns rather than toadstools and mushrooms. All parkrunners are interconnected, but this is in a good way, more in common than divides us sort of way, not like in a cult, just to be clear. So yay for friends in common, though the irony of having missed them at their actual home parkrun was not lost on any of us.

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There were more marshals to interact with. This marshal had a very sweet canine companion who appeared genuinely delighted to see us. It was his first time as a marshal, the marshal not the canine, although it may have been the canine’s debut too, I really don’t know. Anyway, they were nailing it. He’d not only got a cuddlesome dog as an incentive to keep going, but on closer approach he was playing Kate Bush ‘Running up that hill’ on his – well I was going to say ‘on his walkman’ but I don’t think that’s a thing any more. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t actual Kate Bush either, I don’t think she does live performances any more. Anyway, it was definitely an external sound, and not a voice in my head. It was facilitated by this lovely marshal and his hound. Thank you both. See how expertly they pointed the way. Not gonna get lost in the woods here. Not on parkrun day at any rate. You could get lost in your thoughts though, if you wanted to.

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On we went. On our merry way. We met the parkrunner with a buggy, looping back in the opposite direction. Some of the marshals who were stepping down behind us started to walk back in a gloriously gathering guard of honour. On the descent you pass an adventure playground, the upper car park – which looks fabulous for kite flying purposes for the record. In fact, I even found a picture on a website somewhere showcasing exactly that activity. There was a look out hide – you would get fantastic views from there, I wasn’t sure if it was to look out for fires maybe, but it would be a great place to look out from with binoculars. Post parkrun viewing fun for the taking, but a lot of steps! Oh, and at the highest point, you also see the actual beacon, not lit, but definitely very much there. Must be visible for miles when it is ablaze. Not sure when last that was though. Queen’s Platinum Jubilee I think. You can check out more information about all the Beacons here.

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After a bit, we came to the bit that purported to be be ‘Beacon’s best view’. Personally, I’m a bit dubious about this, since clearly Beacon’s Best View is whichever bit you’ve just been looking at. However, it did present a very fine frame to pose behind, so we had to do all possible variants of people available to cover all eventualities. I will leave it to you dear reader to decide which arrangement of parkrunners, or indeed of none, constitutes the actual best view.

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As we wandered onwards and downwards, I found myself more in step with the tailwalker, and we too talked parkrun connections. Her home parkrun is Shipley parkrun. I had a sense I’d been there, but embarrassingly couldn’t quite recall which one it was, even when described to me. Later communications revealed it was the one with the apocalyptic rain! I remember that very well. Funny how it wasn’t so much the route I recalled as the sensations and memories associated with it, how I felt on the day. It was an awesome volunteer crew that day. Hilariously, again, we weren’t there on the same day apparently. Still our parkrun paths were clearly destined to cross at Beacon Hill Park parkrun instead 🙂

As we walked, and more volunteers joined our entourage, we got to talking junior parkrun. Turns out, a few weeks back her local Shipley Country junior parkrun was cancelled due to another event in the park, so volunteers decamped en masse to nearby Gedling junior parkrun for the first junior parkrun of the clocks changing Early starts all round!! The final participant had a magnificent escort to see them safely home. It’s a brilliant photo, shared on their facebook page. Isn’t it grand?

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It looked to be going the same way for me, which is not a bad thing, as the folk were friendly today. Oh, and we passed a jolly horse rider on a very calm looking and well turned out pony. It was nice to see lots of different people and their companion animals and elves sharing the space.

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and finally, the brightest beacon of all was the shining high vis of the guard of honour lining the finish tunnel. Flashing smiles of welcome I made it in, a little behind the parkwalkers and just ahead of the tailwalkers. Just as it should be. With a flourish of efficiency we were clicked across the finish line, and safely scanned in. Then the team busied themselves with course close down and results processing, and the scattering of parkrunners who remained drifted away, some to walk back up to the top car park, some to the cafe some homeward bound. Taking nothing but memories and a new parkrun credit and leaving nothing but footprints and smiles and hopefully their finish tokens too, because you really shouldn’t take them home with you. Really. Just don’t.

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My morning adventures were not yet ended though, because I then got to meet Athena. You know Athena right? Well, actually, I concede you may not, as I didn’t until today, but my life had been the poorer for it. The thing is, if it weren’t for Athena, then Shipley parkrun wouldn’t have a ‘mind the puddle’ sign and warning protocol. The story, as told to me – Athena may recall it differently – this can happen to the voiceless if they lack impartial representation, is that she towed her accompanying parkrunning human right into a massive pool of water. We are talking basically a near drowning, face planting, aquaplaning kind of scenario. It could have ended badly, but apart from a complete soaking and a complete loss of dignity the parkrunner survived to tell the tale. The happening has become part of Shipley parkrun history and folklore and you might say even memorialised with signage and health and safety warnings. Not gonna lie, Athena looked pretty unmoved by this, she may consider that she’s been framed, or basically really not care. She still loves parkrunning adventures though, under control on a short lead now though. That’s for sure.

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just time for the obligatory selfie

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and then it was time to go home… It had been a good morning. Hurrah. Heading home in the sunshine, and all was right with the world.

Thank you Beacon Hill Country Park parkrun, for reminding me you don’t need to travel to the ends of the earth to find a fabulous and exotic parkrun, or indeed very far at all, there may indeed be one just on your doorstep! Each and every parkrun is a place of wonder and connectivity. Thank you tailwalking and parkwalking comrades for making it a parkrun party at the back of the pack, and how brilliant we found where the intersections were on our parkrun Venn diagrams. Small world indeed. Thank you Beacon Hill County Park parkrun team for the warm welcome and congratulations on the not at all scary 5k Run Director debut to today’s top bunny. All you high vis heroes were good eggs. Despite a somewhat melancholy start, it was a hoppy ending all round. Hurrah! All is right once again in the parkrun world. We can live hoppily ever after in our shared parkrun world.

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Oh and for triangulation purposes, here is the run report for this event, written by a fellow tourist. You’re welcome.

And another thing, if you the mood takes you, you can browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.