Monthly Archives: September 2022

Making it Massive! Moving it at Monsal Trail parkrun

I do concede that to the untrained eye we might not appear to be doing a massive amount of actual moving around in the banner pic, but that’s just a quirk of when the picture was taken. We were moving it for an honest, 5km for starters, because that’s the parkrun route, and it was definitely parkrun ‘Monsal Maaaaaaahoooossive’ as yoof speak would phrase it, apparently, so all good. This I have been told by a reliable but confidential source, and who am to disagree with that pronouncement?

Join me for the Monsal Massive low down as my most recent parkrun fix.



Monsal Trail parkrun this week – but I’m thinking you might have guessed that already? If so, well done. Have you also guessed that I’ve lifted many photos from other parkrunners again? My camera isn’t really doing the job these days, but I’m coming round to the view that just as I increasingly have my own personal escort at the back of parkrun events, so too, it is handy to have at least one dedicated official photographer around to document these adventures. Life is definitely easier if you have staff attending you I find. I’m really hoping for a personal chef and a personal trainer to rock up some time soon too, but it takes time to find the right people. parkrun day was sorted though, staffing wise, so that was good. Thanks to my tail walking companions and multi-tasking photographers both.

Another week, another parkrun, another week of ouchery.

Is it boring that I keep going on about my ailments? It must be. I’m so over it myself. Yet, I feel this context is helpful in terms of making sense of my current parkrun adventures, I can’t talk about my parkruns without reference to how my health impacts on how they go. It seems that I have entered that demographic that not only spontaneously makes noises when getting up and sitting down, but also has to do a mental physical assessment check each day on waking. It’s very tedious. Pain is lonely. Also annoying. Very annoying indeed.

The big medical adventure last week, was having someone inject steroids into my big toe joint. FYI this hurts just as much as you think it might, the numbing ointments and local anaesthetics doing little to make the procedure any more bearable. Well, I mean, obviously they must help, but OMG I’m not putting my body through that again. Apparently my big toe joint is a bit small, tight and arthritic so the person administering the injection had to have a bit of a jab around to get it in (they don’t just guess by the way, they do have an x-ray up on a screen to refer to as they plunge about with the needles) and maybe because I’m on blood thinners I got quite a bit of bruising and swelling and – of course – a rare but not that rare reaction – which cased my whole toe joint to flare up for 36 hours afterwards. It was beyond excruciating, I may have railed at the world, screamed into a void, sworn never to put my body through anything like that again and honestly, were I not vegetarian I’d have gnawed my own leg off to stop the pain. I was back to not being able to cover the foot with a sheet let alone get shoes and socks on. However, it did then ‘suddenly’ improve, so parkrun became a possibility again – well parkwalk at least. However, it all feels a bit tentative on the tootsies, you can surely grasp why it might. It’s hard to know if there has been any improvement as a result of the shot, or I just feel a bit better purely in contrast to the agony immediately post the jab. Oh well. Just goes to show pain is relative, and you have to try these things sometimes, even if only to rule things out,. The medical treatment equivalent of kissing a lot of frogs before you meet you actual love. Hmm, I’ve probably gone as far as I can with that analogy. I’ve subsequently seen a physio who said that you need to not do anything too much for a couple of weeks at least to allow things to settle as the procedure is basically a trauma to the foot, albeit for long term gain, so perhaps it’s unsurprising this turned out to be a particularly painful parkrun. Oh well, hindsight eh? Has a lot to answer for.

Where to go though? I was originally thinking Rushcliffe parkrun, but long story short (an unusual statement from me I know, and probably not even true) headed to Bakewell Monsal Trail parkrun instead. In essence, this is because I’d have the experienced, friendly and photogenic tail walking team from last parkrun day at Chevin Forest as my personal escort. A bit like having my own personal staff to carry me around, only they do this only figuratively, not literally, not having access to a parkrun endorsed sedan chair being part of the challenge. I do get that recruiting volunteers is a struggle these days, and even the most modest of sedan chairs needs quite a team to lift it aloft for the whole distance. I would happily forgo the extra folk with the fans at this time of year if that helped at all, but it’s still a bit labour intensive for the average parkrun. Reminder dear reader, if any is needed, that every parkrun appreciates volunteers, step up if and when you can.



I’ve said a bath chair would do, but they ain’t biting. I don’t know why, buggies are fine at parkruns after all. Did you know that sedan chairs are also called palanquins? No me neither, I thought that was a perilously endangered trafficked animal. Every day a school day!

Whilst we are engaged in edutainment, I learned a brilliant new thing this week! I always thought the way to a builder’s heart was through biscuits, decent coffee and builders/Yorkshire tea, but guess what? Actually, don’t bother even trying, I don’t think you will be able to. The real way to their heart is though processed cheese triangles! I know! Who knew? Well, all of us now, obvs, but I felt it was in everyone’s interest to share the scoop. Such serendipity. Could be a game changer! You’re welcome.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, I made the call to head to Bakewell Monsal Trail parkrun. Having made that call, it then materialised there would be other With Me Now pod listeners too, including Team Burrelli freshly sporting 250 tees following shared milestone celebrations last weekend. Wait there’s more – 50% of the tail walking team would be celebrating their fiftieth different parkrun location making her an absolute cow, which is tremendous news. There’d be an outfit for that for sure. Yep, I’d go there. Hurrah. Also, just a hop from Sheffield, so less ‘stupid o’clock alarm setting’ and more ‘just another 5 mins in bed’ before having to surface and face the day.

There was even talk of additional deferred fancy dress making an appearance this week – we have the outstanding pirate costume in need of an outing after all, as well as potentially an inflatable cow to be donned. In the event, the pirate got marooned en route to the parkrun (now that is a long and painful story) and the cow thought the better of fancy dress that some might thing a bit too jolly for a period of mooing mourning, which is understandable, though a bit of a shame too. Pirates in particular are having a terrible time at the moment, on account of the Queen’s Funeral coinciding with International Talk Like a Pirate Day, I’m thinking they won’t be conducting the ceremony observing that tradition, such a loss.

A weird juxtaposition of dates you’ll agree.



Oh well. This further deferment will simply serve to build anticipatory excitement even further. Eventually the moment shall come when all those pent up fancy dress outfits shall surge forth from their bottle neck in one great tsunami of OTT costume couture choices at some future event, people will gather from near and far; high fives will be swapped; jumping in the air shall be the order of the day; photographers will flash their cameras; barcodes will be brought and scanned – there may even be cake – and it will be glorious. FACT. And it’ll probably be at York parkrun on 15th October 2022 if you’re interested.

Also, just so you know, lack of fancy dress, didn’t mean nobody dressed fancy. Au contraire! Check out the shoes and socks options flaunted on the trail today. Some excellent buffery and yellow heart accessorising too, and that custom Brooks t-shirt is The Best!



That t-shirt! What’s more, it was an actual freebie! I’m so jealous. There are hoodies as well apparently. Wowsers. Brooks are one of the parkrun sponsors now, and attend various events unannounced, where you can test run their shoes and they also give out the odd freebie to random finishers. I’m not sure what this parkrunner had done to merit this honour, but to be fair, she’s appropriately delighted by it. I would be too. I genuinely like Brooks stuff, I got some freebie sunglasses from them at an event way back and they are absolutely brilliant, wore them for the London marathon back in 2018 and many times since and they are good as new. I’m totally stalking the Brooks Facebook pages now, in hope of the slightest of hints as to where they may descend next. I’m shameless #brooksrunninguk @brooksrunninguk #parkrunhappy choose me!

Hmmm, they are toying with us though. Playing hard to get – it seems we will have to not only stalk their social media pages, but also harness our psychic powers to find them. Oh well. I love my parkrun apricot too 🙂 and I have patience. My time will come.



Never mind, where was I? Oh yes ouchy feet and parkrun touristing, I’ll get there in the end.

It wasn’t too early a start, and the drive over in early morning sunshine gave gorgeous light across the dying back heather. Expansive views to lift the soul. It was all going splendidly, until I came across an unexpected road closure and had to do a grand detour. I arrived at Hassop Station carpark after 8.30 and it was already really busy. There is a very limited amount of free parking, but I’d forgotten about those spots and was too late for it anyway. There seemed to be a field open over the road where many parkrunners had parked up, but I wasn’t sure if you had to pay for that, and didn’t want to add in the extra distance, so I coughed up the £3.50 for three hours parking. I don’t begrudge parking fees generally, but that does seem steep when you are probably going to use the cafe as well. This wasn’t a cheap morning. I’d hoped to be earlier as I was going to offer to be the tail walker having heard my original buddy no couldn’t make it due to the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and rubbish garages relating to newly purchased cars. My logic was, I am sooooo slow everyone ends up waiting for me anyway, so I might as well be that person at the back, and then I wouldn’t have the agony of someone else trying to jostle me onwards at a pace more that I could muster. It’s so awkward when others try to jolly you along. I was counting on the other tail walker repeating her outstanding service last week and being content shouting support to other parkrunners and getting creative with the photos as we went. Yep, that’d work.

Except I was too late for that, tail walker sub was already in place. Which is good in a way, since it shows how parkrunners are happy to step up to cover for one another when things aren’t going to plan. I’d just be limping round at the back as usual then, with my personal escort.

The first thing to remember about Monsal Trail parkrun is that it’s actually Bakewell parkrun. Well, maybe not any more strictly speaking, but it definitely used to be, and now it isn’t, but the pop up banner is very much still saying Bakewell, so that’s confusing if you are touristing and are on an alphabet completing schedule and have lost track of what country, county or rural paradise you are in. Do you follow? People still call it Bakewell although really it’s not, it’s more Hassop, and Monsal Trail is more accurate still. Like Endcliffe is still known as Sheffield Hallam and Knavesmire parkrun is still known as York. Oh wait, hang on…. Whatever, the point is, it will play havoc with future Facebook memories, but for now, you have to improvise with the pop up banner that’s to hand, and that’s what happened. Those posed photos have to be taken, just as if it ain’t on Strava it didn’t happen, how can you be sure that any given parkrun wasn’t but a dream unless you have the pop up pic to proof it? Ooh, I wish we could have actual pop up photos, the way we used to have pop up books in the olden days. I suppose in the future we will, and they’ll be holograms. For now we have to make do with jpeg files, but fortunately they are lovely. We spent a while trying to get the making it massive moves nailed. It would help if I understood the whole concept a bit more, but I reckon I blagged it pretty well in the circumstances. What massively cool dudes we are. Hurrah.



Foreground is official photographer, soon to be official cow and experienced escort, centre is me with White Ted on this occasion – and that’s the sub tail walker all smiles and raring to go. We are quite lucky to have her in the UK at present as she’s a world parkrun tourist prone to seeking out new adventures all over the place. Catch her if you can. Oh, and I’m crouching down in a futile attempt to stop my stomach from blocking out the sun, I’m not that short. I mean, I am quite short, but I can see over the pop up sign without standing on tip toe despite what the photo suggests.

The id explanations are just in case you are curious, but there won’t be a test or anything, so you don’t have to concentrate too hard on who’s who, in fact it’s probably better if you don’t. Just keep calm and carry on. We know each other purely through parkrun in general and the With Me Now podcasts and live streams of parkrun lockdown in particular, which is pretty remarkable really. I don’t think I’d know anyone at all if it weren’t for parkrun and the people who live in my laptop. Oh and the quarantine quiz too of course – more of which later, possibly. Depends if I remember. I have an EWFM* too, obviously, but that’s in an entirely separate category of gloriousness all of its own. Obvs.

Yay, for jolly planned meet ups of With Me Now tourists, and a selfie of the party at the back posse pre parkrun . I’m assuming it’s expensive to replace the pop up sign, and actually, I have a vague feeling that there might be a pause on new ones anyway because of the need to change the sponsorship names. I think that might be why we still have the Bakewell parkrun sign. The other – perhaps more obvious explanation – is that what with the hiatus in parkruns and a change in the event team, no-one has been able to pass down the necessary knowledge of how to fold up the sign. Hence, there it sits, in perpetuity, unless and until some gifted travelling passing parkrunner shares their secrets and normal order with respect to the tidying away of things is restored. The main thing is DON’T PANIC! Well, I mean panic about many things, heaven knows there’s enough catastrophes kicking off in the world – just not about that. Save your panic for scenarios like the planet burning and forgetting your barcode. It’s all about perspective.

So in all seriousness, this is one of the parkruns that during lockdown was re-routed and renamed but kept it’s event counter ticking. The start and finish remain in the same place, but the route is now an out and back in the opposite direction. I’m in the position of having previously completed this parkrun when it was still Bakewell parkrun, but it morphed into Monsal Trail parkrun on my stats, which wasn’t a problem but did mean my profile suggested I’d completed a route I actually hadn’t, only now I have, so problem solved. Be happy for me. I am generally in the mood for touristing as I’ve been so unable to do anything for years, but this is a new route on a familiar course so didn’t feel too much like a repeat.

Oh and I feel I should say more about our companion cow. Look! Here she is.



Last week a Jill in the Box but this week a complete cow or just half a Cowell depending on how you calculate these things. The Cowell is a Running Challenges Chrome Extension thing by the way. Specifically, to join the Cowell club you need to Run at 100+ different parkrun locations anywhere in the world. Named after the first parkrunners to complete it. A quarter cowell is available at 25, half at 50, and three-quarter at 75. Those who have completed their fiftieth different parkrun venue can claim cow status, and this is what happened here. For my tail walking photography compatriot. One day, in years hence, she may get this virtual sticker added to her profile. A fine reward for many years of touristing i think we can all agree.

It seems 2022 is actually her year of fifty things – fiftieth birthday (I know, doesn’t look a day over 21, it’s a miracle); fiftieth occasion of her home parkrun at Chevin Forest and fiftieth different parkrn event. Does that make her 150 then, if she’s done all the things? I’m not sure, but it’s splendid anyway, and worthy of celebration. No wonder she was jumping for joy all over the place. As previously reference, she was supposed to be wearing an inflatable cow, because that’s pretty much compulsory for marking your 50th, but well, you know, period of mourning and all that, the inflatable cow will just have to wait for York.

The jumping about thing was set to continue though, because of course any parkrun has parkrunners jumping for joy, and to be fair there was something of a jump off occurring at intervals. High jinx all round one might say. Since we had a Jack outa the box giving our Jill outa the box a run for her money!



Did you spot the 250 tee in the blur of bouncing? Hopefully yes you did. Jumpage is understandable but can make it hard to see the finer details of individual outfits, but I reckon that 250 top is pretty distinctive. Green team, dream team. Just so you know, that’s it being worn on it’s first ever outing after being achieved just last parkrun weekend at Burnage parkrun, alongside another person’s 250 volunteering milestone. More specifically their other/better half. Nice bit of carefully planned parkrun milestone synchronicity there. It’s taken a lot of organisation to nail that particular celebration, but oh so worth it! Check out the cake, that’s just outstanding. Apparently it tasted amazing too, not just an Instagramable option but a dietary delight! Oh and they had milestone capes too, which should be compulsory really, at all events, but aren’t quite yet. Capers with capes are so much fun!



All things were being celebrated here. This had also been planned as a fancy dress option, with the 250th parkrun being completed in a particularly fine Mr Zippy outfit (no reason, do you need a reason?) but again, restraint was exercised in respect of donning the fancy dress. And then in a hat trick of missed fancy dress opportunities, my pirate buddy was thinking maybe pirate today, but then didn’t make it due to a series of unfortunate events, specifically relating to mechanical misadventures en route, meaning she ended up at Brierley Forest parkrun which is very much lovely and all, but not the intended destination.



And the consequence was that there was no pirate and no Mr Zippy last week and no Cow this week. A lack of fancy dress might be a cause of disappointment but…


There is a plan. All these missed fancy dress outings will be reconvened on the same date at some parkrun in the future. There will be an explosion of fancy dress at the next midi gathering where missed opportunities will be made good. Not that this lot need much of an excuse to get the fancy dress on, but they can share their joy in donning it en masse and properly mark the milestones and arbitrary achievements that have had but muted recognition where they’ve fallen during these 10 days. Might be all the better for having a backlog of celebrations to mark all at once. A positive scrum of joyfulness. You think they’ve jumped high and dressed to the peak of fabulousness already? Pah! You ain’t seen nothing yet!

First though, back to today!

I arrived parked up, joined the queue for the loo which wasn’t too long and definitely not 5 miles, and no live tracking you just had to take your chances.

I did, and then was rewarded for this by bumping into a world tourist With-Me-Nower in the scrum of exiting it. How exciting! Turns out, they were everywhere today. Outside the loos; in the café; at the start on the parkrun; volunteering – all over the shop.

I made my way to the start area and we started to find one another. It was VERY EXCITING. People I actually knew, people I knew by their high ranking status as parkrun ambassador for example – there seem to be loads of them out and about at the moment we get one or two at Sheffield Olympic Legacy park junior parkrun most weeks- people I knew through Facebook but not through real life, and by reputation for example as uber tourists. It was great, and unexpected. There is actually a whole sequence of photos of ever growing numbers being gathered together for a group shot as new people we ‘knew’ kept appearing out of the crow, and we still didn’t manage to get everyone in to the one shot, nothing like. Well it is a bit like herding cats I suppose. Here’s a grand stab at the bulk of us though. Impressive isn’t it, remembering these were not all planned meet ups either, it’s just the parkrun community’s network keeps on reaching out and ever more connections are made, so every parkrun can feel like a reunion at times. It’s good like that 🙂 You are truly never alone at a parkrun. Unless you turn up as the only one who hadn’t twigged it had been cancelled, that can be discombobulating, but mostly, never.



We busied ourselves doing the parkrun friends equivalent of dogs sniffing each others bottoms until we were summoned for the first timers’ welcome. According to the results there were 7 first time everers and an astounding 96 tourists, so that’s nearly 50% of the field of 203 participants. This is a tourist destination it has to be acknowledged, and it isn’t really that near a local population which I think contributes to the difficulty it sometimes has in getting enough volunteers. Fortunately, it’s not a complicated route so not too heavy on the number of marshals required, but it’s still hard for teams to manage at times. We were grateful for the warm and friendly welcome. We were reminded very much of the need to respect other users. It’s a busy path with cyclists, horses, walkers all availing themselves of the lovely route. That’s why it was also important to keep the trail free at the start, and remember to keep to the left of the path out and back to minimise the possibility of collisions, and also to facilitate more effective high fiving as you pass each other in a contraflow at some stage en route. He didn’t actually say that, but I’m sure it was implied…


The Run Director’s briefing came next. Quite quickly in fact. I still have never quite got over the astonishment of having pre parkrun chatting interrupted by having to actually commence the parkrun. The poor RD had a cold, but gamefully stood atop her steps to brief us and send us on our way. I felt for her though, she definitely sounded a bit rough, and it was a nippy morning, beautiful yes, but nippy. Thank you lovely RD for turning out despite feeling rough, and thank you even more to you and all the high vis heroes for making all the parkrunners so very welcome, right to the end of the pack.

As is usual now, I took some photos at the start, then slotted in at the back of the field with my bouncy parkrunning friends. There might have been a bit of a jump off going on at one point, all in apparent jest, but I see a future rematch pending. I so wish I had a proper camera at times like this, they were awesome. Flying through the air like acrobats on acid. Cirque de Soleil has nothing on a pair of over-excited parkrunners soaring high. Never has leaping for joy been more literal or more inspiration to behold.



But where were we going? Don’t worry dear reader, I can explain! Shall I wait for you to get a pen to make some notes, or will you just take a screen shot for later? It’s no problem I can pause for a bit…

Welcome back, ready? Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin.

The route is basically out and back. If you don’t believe me, here is the Monsal Trail parkrun route blah de blah from the website

Course Description

Out and back course on the Monsal Trail. Start and finish are in the same place by Hassop Station.

and the picture looks like this:



Erm, that’s all you can say. You run away from the timers for 2/12 km when you are met by a wall of marshals. Well, two and their dog Nigel on this occasion, and a rather sweetly positioned cone to trot round, or skid round, or handbrake turn around as the mood takes you, and then you run right back the way you came. I belief it is fractionally downhill on the out and uphill on the way back, but honestly, not so you notice, this is properly flat. Hilariously though, if you run it in the other direction as the Bakewell parkrun used to, Strava doesn’t understand the concept of tunnels so will think you’ve done some epic and speedy ascents. That is, gone up and down those hills, rather than straight through the middle, this is excellent for boosting your bragging rights if you don’t let the truth get in the way of a good running narrative.

It’s compact gravel, and the only issues are really making sure you are respectful to other participants as you parkrun out and back.

Almost instantly the main bulk of parkrunners streamed out of sight, and we were but a few at the back. My two tail walking companions and 50% of the newly anointed green team who’d opted to walk and talk which was jolly sporting of him. I did feel initially some pressure to get a move on, which was challenging, but we did settle in to a more manageable pace.

On a serious note, I’m finding parkrun pretty tough at the minute. I think because I look fine (bit podgy obviously, but I mean ‘able bodied) and indeed opted for walking poles rather than crutches precisely so I’d blend in a bit more, people over-estimate my capabilities and I seem to constantly have people cajooling me to get a move on and that feels really shaming. I totally get it’s unintended, but it’s crushing every time. I can’t ‘get going’ I need to pause, and sometimes I’m in a lot of pain. Feeling embarrassed because I’m holding everyone up is an extra pressure and at times I feel like bailing or opting out entirely. Even with supportive parkrun compatriots I feel quite vulnerable. My fear is that once I give up on parkrun, I won’t be able to go back at all, and that thought makes me sad. It can be a mixed bag walking at parkrun and I really hope that next month’s parkwalk initiative normalises this a bit more because speaking personally, I think that’s very much needed. I worry about being a burden to individuals and teams, of course I do, the official parkrun line of ‘walkers always welcome’ doesn’t always reflect what happens on the ground. I try to go to different parkruns so I don’t make the same team have to wait for me each week, and I have always made a point of volunteering regularly to ‘give back’ a bit as well, but that doesn’t quieten the voices in my head that are constantly making me feel inadequate and that I don’t have the right to be there. Every parkrun I go to is a battle lately, and I’m conscious it doesn’t take much to push me into despair. I guess partly because every parkrun I hope will be a bit better, that I’ll make some progress and although I have made progress if you look back over a whole year, I’m very far away from where I was before and it feels unfair, which is jolly surprising, because usually life is 100% fair is it not? (Spoiler alert, it’s not) I know I’m lucky compared to many, and I am still there at the moment, however insecure I may feel about it. Hanging on by my fingertips. One foot in front of another. Sometimes blinking back the tears, but not bailed yet.

It was a bit of a wobbly start, but once we were underway on a lovely crisp sunny morning, things were looking up. Just because it’s a straightforward out and back though, doesn’t mean you can’t have parkrun adventuring along the way. Au contraire!

It’s jolly pretty for one thing, the route has lovely trees creating an avenue along it, then there are open vistas where you get great views, and if you have your wits about you you might spot the rare Bakewell born and bred long necked sheep – oh wait, what’s that you say? Really? Shame alpacas adjacent to the path. There was a little wren, busying herself popping in and out of the gaps of a moss covered stone wall. There was a very junior marshal – taking it all in. All very lovely.


So the scenery was lovely, as well as the the company, but we had other adventures too. Specifically, on this occasion there was a mass group of walkers taking part in a Fund raising 26 km trek for the charity Together for short lives – Helping families caring for a seriously ill child make the most of every moment together. It was pretty chilled by the time we at the back met up with them, but earlier may have been a bit of a challenge. Like those early gladiator sort of films, where thousands of extras were brought in to stage battles, running at one another and mingling as each fought to pass the other. Not that that would happen here though, because we’d all been briefed to give way, and parkrunners are polite obvs. Think more parting of the sea rather than riotous bunfight. Or gentle ordered contraflow, I’m sure it was negotiated with grace. They were an eclectic and jolly group of walkers, it was quite early in their walk I think, so they had a long way to go, but my what a lovely day they picked for it.

One warning though, this is not a route for arachnophobes, which, presumably erroneously, was not explicitly mentioned in the briefing. Fortunately, the spider people running round today were being shepherded by lovely With Me Now crew to keep us all safe. It’s so lovely when parkrunners look out for one another in this way. They even gave us a reassuring wave of acknowledgement as they breezed by, letting us know the whole situation was all under control. Phew. There were 23 personal bests today though, which seems a pretty high percentage of the field of 203 so maybe the spidery presence just made everyone else run just that much faster. Apart from me. I’m very much just walking still. Besides, I like to get my money’s worth at an event.



One of the super fun things about an out and back course is that if you are a slower parkrun participant you see all the faster parkrunners as they come back, and if you are a faster parkrunner, you see all the slower participants as they are going out! Everyone wins. It made for a highly sociable and people spotting parkrun. Hurrah.



What made it even more fun, was being part of a very vocal party at the back offering up bespoke motivational cheering at every opportunity. Our tail walking cow has an enormous amount of experience at this and was in fine voice. But better yet, we had some Welsh language cheering from the stand in tail walker, always a boon. Not that we restricted ourselves to cheering only those we knew, anyone was fair game, potentially whether partaking in parkrun or not, we were happy to be sharing the parkrun love! All of us at the back got on board with parkrun appropriate whooping. It’s not called the party at the back for nothing! When it works, walking at parkrun is therapeutic indeed.

and that works at junior parkrun too. This recently shared anecdote made me properly cry, because it’s just SO LOVELY!


Tony Kenyon
I have told this story a number of times because to me it is what parkrun is all about. One week we had just one child at the junior parkrun where I’m now part of the core team. I was tailwalker. They didn’t want to take part by themselves. So I convinced them to walk with me. They only agreed if every volunteer walked with us. So we all took a leisurely 2km walk.
That same child now regularly runs, seeing a PB after PB, getting faster each week. Those who walk today may run tomorrow. Or they may not. We should embrace them all.

See comments section of


I properly cried. Snot and everything. It’s peak parkrun practice in my view. It also very neatly illustrates why for parkwalk to be successful next month, solidarity from plenty of walkers is needed. Consider walking one of your regular parkruns instead of running and experience the event quite differently. That junior parkrun intuitively knew that walking together was the way to go. How right they were.

Back to us. Eventually we made it out to the full extent of the 2.5 km and to the turn around point – that’s Nigel in the middle, supervising. Barkrunner par excellence! Not one parkrunner overshot the route turnaround point, so he did just grand.

We weren’t having a stand off, we were just having a parkrunny chat. Getting our Chat’s Worth at the parkrun nearest to Chatsworth was apt indeed.


Cone negotiated safely, and we were coming home again. It was very quiet for the return leg, the charity walkers and other parkrunners having long since passed this way. But we could take in the scenes, and have companionable chats and so all was good.


Finally, almost exactly on the hour, we were back to the start, which handily is also the finish. Where diligent marshals were still waiting and standing by to swing into time keeping and barcode scanning business on our return.


The RD was in desperate need of a pee by the time we got there, a scenario for which I have enormous personal sympathy, and I felt mortified that she’d had to wait for me. Oh well. She was self deprecating about her plight, but it did catapult me back into the mindset of having spoiled the parkrun experience of others. Paranoia is devilishly hard to shift.

There was a bit more picture posing, trying to perfect the shot of the range of t-shirts on show, and also to get our lovely green team to pose appropriately with coquettish over the shoulder glances for maximum impact. Well we were entertained anyway. I never did get the perfect shot, but fortunately have been able to loot this one from elsewhere. Resource gathering skills come in handy at times.


All done, back lit, we made our way to the Hassop Station Café.



There is actually a special parkrun deal from a table area outside, with coffee and a variety of bapts/ breadcakes whatever including the double meat sausage and bacon options, veggie and vegan options – though I don’t know what the vegan option was to be fair.

A fellow with me nower and his family had already secured an outside table, so we queued inside (not five miles) and went for the more extensive menu. You just give your table number and order from the counter. The hot beverage situation confused me hugely, doesn’t take much. I asked about this and was told it would be brought out, but some said they’d been asked to collect if from the counter. In fact I think if you only have a drink you wait for it, but maybe if you are having food as well they bring it out. In the event this didn’t work particularly well for me as my flat white never came, although on reflection an unclaimed mug of tea brought out earlier might have been my order processed erroneously. When questioned they claimed it hadn’t been ordered, which was annoying as I’d paid for it, but hadn’t got a receipt, they were game for going through the whole till roll again to prove their point, and in the end my lovely tailwalking companion by passed the whole thing by just just buying me another one, which was kind of her and eminently sensible but somewhat grated in terms of customer service. Top tip, get a receipt. I know I’d paid, because I asked ‘and do I need to wait for my coffee now’ and they said ‘no, we’ll bring it out with your order’ so that’s not me not having ordered it is it? This aside, the food was amazing and the staff accomodating, in that we were able to customise our orders swappoing halloumi cheese for vegan cheese in toasties. These were pricey but came with a rather fine salad, some of which gathered on my top, but worth it. There was also amazing bakewell slices to be had, and an abundance of choice. Yum.



Some were feeling the cold, but nevertheless, this brave duo braving the warm Bakewell slice or possibly Bakewell pudding with ice cream topping because, well it had to be done. They were worried about it being too cold to enjoy properly, but hard to justify being in Bakewell and not having someone step up to the challenge. In the end they were in it together, but took the safety precaution of getting a hot chocolate to warm themselves up afterwards, the yin and yan of post parkrun cakery I suppose. They are experienced like that. It’s really inspiring when other parkrunners are willing to make these sacrifices on behalf of others, brings a tear to the eye. I can report dear reader, they totally nailed it!



We were quite an assembly, and there was loads of seating for post parkrun faffing and no pressure to move on beyond how much parking we’d paid for. More photo posing and parkrun story reminiscing ensued. Not too shabby a head count for what had been a pretty much entirely unplanned and arbitrary meet up! With Me Now pod listeners a-gathering.


Alas though, all good things come to an end, and eventually people needed to disperse. There were hugs exchanged, but not without some discussion of appropriate hugging etiquette, still unsure what we can and can’t do these days, ,and also, you feel like you know people but don’t entirely so what to do? And then I worry about inadvertently thwacking people with my walking poles which is definitely sub optimal. I dodged that social faux pas on this occasion, but not the food down my front awkwardness unfortunately. It was only afterwards that someone helpfully pointed out the splattered tomato bits collected on my decoupage décolletage. Whilst a breast shelf can sometimes be handy for gathering assorted snacks together for later, it’s generally not a good post parkrun look, though pretty common amongst us more rounded runners. Nevertheless, I was glad of the tip off before any non parkrun interactions. Not sure if it saved me from indignity whilst recording the bonus question for the next quarantine quiz? Oh well, I’ve survived indignities enough of late that it will hardly register. I can only hope there was no spinach caught between my teeth either. Well, there won’t be spinach as there wasn’t any in my order, but there could have been rocket.

Others waved off, we hard core trio gathered by the Monsal Trail sign to record an impromptu bonus question for the awesomeness that is the Quarantine Quiz. I know, exciting! But you are just going to have to wait for the next quarantine quiz to showcase our collective genius to judge for yourselves! This is roughly where we positioned ourselves though, in case that teaser helps soften that blow. I know, delayed gratification is very annoying, but you’ve got this! 🙂 It’ll probably be for Quiz 85, in case you are interested, not sure when that will be, but do join the next one if you can. More the merrier. Oh you don’t know what that is? Erm, it’s an interactive, virtual quiz hosted by a German parkrun team –

RDs from Neckarufer parkrun, it is bilingual, featuring parkrunners asking the question and impressive fancy dress, some created by a 3d printer in the possession of an individual with a crazed imagination. It grew out of lockdown, and continues still, bringing an international parkrun community together. Oh, and the questions are sufficiently random there’s no shame in not knowing the answers, and in fact, being the tail walker (lowest scorer) is a particularly highly prized badge of honour too, and so it should be. Tail Walkers are the best! The literal translation of the German is ‘Final Accompaniement’ which I think is splendid.

Thank you Schlussbegleitung! You are The Best! In any language.



And that was that. Time to depart. Others were heading off to Chatsworth which has THE MOST AMAZING EXHIBITION on at the moment, based around the burning man festival. I’d love to have gone, but too much walking for one day alas. I’ve enjoyed seeing the photos on line though. It’s worth checking them out. ‘Radical Horizons: The Art of Burning Man‘ That horse can gallop and fly! I know, impressive.



As we departed, a parkrunner passed us his face etched with a look of absolute ecstasy. Rubbing his tummy he just uttered the words ‘sausage and bacon sandwich’ as he gazed skyward in bliss and rapture. Apparently it had been beyond exquisite. It had to be acknowledged, that even as two vegetarians and one vegan you could not acknowledge that exuded joy. A fine café indeed. Oh, apart from my coffee that never came – mouth watering vegan options also available.

So to conclude, the fine bits of today were very fine indeed at this parkrun, but there were a couple of wobbles for me personally. I need a walking at parkrun win where I can just ‘be’ without feeling slow shamed or a burden. Yep, it might be on me how I interpret things sometimes, but it’s also a reaction to cumulative interactions that leave people potentially sensitised to throw away remarks that reveal a deeper truth. One comment might not hit home, several at the same event can shade otherwise positive parkrun experiences. Fingers crossed for parkwalk in October. Hopefully as well as bringing more walkers to parkrun, it might raise awareness amongst teams about what creates a welcoming environment and what does not, unintentionally or otherwise. Just as I’ve learned so much from the deaf and hard of hearing takeover in Sheffield. Needs aren’t always obvious, but when known, sometimes they are really easy to accommodate where there is the will to do so. Still love parkrun, still grateful to my parkrun friends and although, yes, sometimes it’s complicated, it’s still worth it for me.

Are you still here? Aw, thanks for sticking with me 🙂 I know it’s a long haul at times but it is appreciated. Shared experiences can be bonding after all. Oh, and another thing, here is the link to the Monsal Trail parkrun event 152 run report in case of interest. And results for the record too.

For now, that’s all folks, time to pack it all away until next parkrun day.


The End.


But before I go, can we just have one more random adorable parkrun thing please? It is a lovely one I promise…

Yes we can. Check out this BEST EVER parkrun report. Hand written and fully illustrated. Love it! Thank you Great Yarmouth North Beach parkrun for sharing.



I know. Cuteness overload, sigh #loveparkrun

Also – POST FAIL – how did I not spot the opportunity for Bakewell Tart punnage. The shame will never leave me!

*Erst While Flat Mate. Yes, I know it ought to be erstwhile flatmate, but I have my reasons.

You can read all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.  Your choice

Categories: 5km, parkrun, walking at parkrun | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Carefree Cavorting at Cheery Chevin Forest parkrun – where the wild things are!

Had a wild old time here!

A fine, fun, forest foray indeed! What’s not to like?

There is a reason why forest bathing has become quite the thing. Basically, it’s lovely, calms the soul, soothes the spirit and puts all in context. Add in a parkrun to the mix and it takes forest bathing to a whole new level of awesome. This was truly a parkrun of all the things. Acrobatic tail walkers; celebrity parkrun authors*; huge trees; forest trails; smiley marshals acing directional pointing; astonishing views; brilliant wood sculptures; chariot racing opportunities; warm welcome (probably axiomatic to state that) and a post parkrun café that I could happily take up permanent residence in. Who doesn’t get hugely excited at seeing halloumi on a menu? I’m jumping ahead though, but soooooooooooooooooo many things to share, where to start?

Choosing Chevin.

Hmm, where to parkrun. Always a dilemma, so many to choose from, but not all are accessible to me these days.

Over the last couple of weeks I have noticed a definite nip in the air on some mornings, and the days are getting shorter. Once the clocks change it’s going to be less appealing and less practical to venture too far afield for parkrun tourism. I am therefore trying to pick off some of the reachable but far away parkruns before the clocks change. I also have to factor in my bloomin’ uselessness at forward motion at the moment. It’s so frustrating. Chevin Forest is reachable from Sheffield and oh look! A friendly name I recognise as tailwalker. Two of them in fact. Phew, that takes the pressure off. I was advised it’s a ‘proper’ trail surface, mud in winter, but it looked doable and with my sticks it would be a good test of what I can and can’t do. I’m treading (literally) that fine line between trying to do a bit more to find my limits, without actually coming to grief in the process. parkruns are perfect for this when they welcome walkers as it’s a safe and supportive environment to try to increase my mobility without ending up having to call mountain rescue because I’ve toppled into a ditch up the top of kinder scout. This would be sub optimal for a number of reasons, not least that you probably can’t get a mobile signal up there, so I’d have to just lie in a star shape and hope the circling of vultures overhead would eventually attract attention. parkrun doesn’t require vultures to alert others to your needs, instead it anticipates them with Cheery Chevin Marshals (other alliterated parkrun marshals are available see Cavorting Castle Marshals; Marvellous Millhouses Marshals; Enchanting Endcliffe Marshals; Iridescent Isobel Marshals etc) to see you safely out and back.

What’s more, said tailwalkers will be pirating it! Yep, you read that right. Having already done their aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh, this would be the seventh of their seven seas. It’s a Running Challenges thing – only 8 parkruns and you too can get a virtual sticker AND to dress up as a pirate (inflatable parrot optional but hugely hoped for) on your final parkrun in the set. Yep, pirate party at the back sounded just the thing, and lacking full functioning limbs would be a boon in such a gathering. Captain Hook and Long John Silver anyone? Though there were also fearless, fierce and female pirates past too, who hung onto their limbs. Not that we should be glorifying pillaging, obvs, but who doesn’t enjoy having a nice new badge for their virtual sticker chart?


That’d do.

Then the Queen died. Suddenly uncertainty about what might happen. In fact a great many parkruns did opt to cancel, some because it was out of their hands – the National Trust cancelled all on their properties, other event teams felt it was the right thing for them to cancel too. Personally I was grateful for the parkrun announcement that let event teams make their own call locally. I did not want to lose my opportunity to access a parkrun somewhere, I’ve been denied too many of late.

Much hitting the refresh button to see what this might mean for Chevin Forest, and checking the parkrun cancellation page I wish I’d taken a screen shot of it now, as it was interesting to see which way event teams made the call. Fortunately for me, Chevin Forest parkrun made the call to go ahead. Now I had only to stress about getting there and where to park etc.

Right, so the Chevin Forest parkrun website blah de blah says:

Getting there by road
The nearest postcode to the start/finish is LS21 3DD, East Chevin Road.

We recommend parking at Surprise View cark park, opposite the Royalty pub on York Gate (LS21 3DG), and walking to the start along the path which runs across the top of the valley and down, crossing East Chevin Road, to the Danefield side of the Chevin. It’s a pleasant 15-20 minute walk although unsuitable for buggies as there are width restrictions. There are three car parks on East Chevin Road itself. Please DO NOT park in the small car park directly next to the finish line, you will be asked to move unless you have mobility difficulties or a buggy. Alternatively there are several car parks in Otley, allow time to walk up the Chevin to the start. Please DO NOT park along the road, this can cause visibility obstructions and is regularly patrolled by the police, who issue fines.

Hmm, was a bit discombobulated. I can now negotiate a parkrun, but didn’t think I’d be able to do the extra 20 minute out and back especially if it was a bit bushwhacking territory. I wouldn’t be able to carry a machete and my walking poles, and not sure what the etiquette would be for leaving a machete unattended as I set off for my parkrun. Then again, am I considered immobile enough not to be turned away at the car park. Would there be some sort of hierarchy of needs you’d have to satisfy to get a parking space or would it be on trust. I felt I needed to be near the start, but maybe not as much as some others might need that. In the end, I just did my usual of setting off at stupid o’clock and having done some google-based research, which has all but replaced any actual primary research these days, established that it looks like there are a couple of carparks nearby.

On arrival, hurrah! There is a diddy carpark right next to the start, but a second, upper carpark which is about 100 metres away. It’s not huge, but certainly enough for a fair few vehicles and if you arrive early enough space was fine. I was amongst the first couple to park. I’m finding though a minor frustration of early arrival at some of these carparks creates enormous confusion for me about where you are supposed to park. It would really help if there were some demarked parking spaces as I’m sure you’d accommodate loads more vehicles that way, still I was fine, so that was good.

It was also exciting already! I was a bit daunted by the steepness of the hills – I drove down one to the nearest supermarket to use their loos before returning. I was wondering if this was such a great idea. The trees were gorgeous, and it was lovely to be in such fantastic scenery, but ringing in my ears was the words of Ambassador Z from Millhouses who had warned me this was a trail parkrun course. I feel I need to test myself, but don’t want to come a cropper either. Aargh.

Oh wait, you want to know what the course descriptor is? Hang on, erm….

Course Description

This is two-lap anti-clockwise course with an additional point to point at the finish.

The course starts on Chippendale Ride, where it crosses the stream. Head east for a few metres and then turn right, up a steep hill. Follow this bridleway through Deer Park Wood and Memorial Wood, then continue straight on along the footpath through Quarry Wood (this section can get very muddy) at the end of this path turn left onto the bridleway and go down the hill to the chariot sculpture and gate, then turn left alongside Caley Wood, Keepers Wood and Stag Wood until you reach the first corner again. Loop around for a second time. On completion of the second circuit follow Chippendale Ride back up the hill towards the road to the finish line.

The route is all on trail or forest footpaths and the ground is uneven and often muddy, trail shoes are recommended particularly during autumn and winter or after rain.

Trail shoes, they want trail shoes. Oops. I only have one pair of shoes that my mutant feet can tolerate at the moment, with cut out bits so my foot can sort of levitate above the sore parts, which is basically all of it. I do have trail shoes, but I’d have to carry them, rather than wear them, and call me massively intuitive but – I’m thinking they expect them to be on your feet rather than randomly adorning your person. Oh well, I’ll have my walking poles to assist.

The map of the course looks like this:

It doesn’t entirely help, as basically you can see the route is entirely within trees. Trees usually mean tree routes and forest paths. Aesthetically pleasing, but maybe a little ouchy underfoot. Hmm, trail shoes territory indeedy.

Trees are lovely though aren’t they. They ooze other worldly soothiness. I love them, they just instantly transport you. I love the smell of trees and the sound of trees and all thing tree-like. I love squirrels in trees and the endurance of trees. It makes me sad when trees are under threat. An old tree is a thing of wonder indeed, but even a new sapling, exudes joy and manifests hope for the future. Planting a tree is a mark of optimism surely? Everyone should plant trees if they can, where the habitat is appropriate to do so. Just as everyone should have a water source in their outside space if they have any; wear fancy dress when the opportunity presents itself (not limited to parkrun venues); befriend a frog and a squirrel and experience parkrun as a walker. Just saying.

So I arrived, I parked up. I felt a wave of apprehension. Aargh, difficult terrain, unknown parkrun; new people; what if I didn’t know anyone? What if I did know anyone, and they didn’t know me? What if I did know lots of people and had to interact with them in some way? What if I was too slow? What if I needed the loo again? What if, what if? Maybe I should just get back in the car and drive home again right now, just to by pass all the social awkwardness and embarrassment, it could save everyone a lot of time. Not least at the end as they’d be waiting for me to finish.

As I was processing these thoughts, I found myself walking down towards the lower carpark, and then was greeted by a vision of loveliness incarnate, cartwheeling up in a blast of positive energy and freneticism (is that a word? It is now) the human tornado, core team, regular volunteer co-ordinater and rotational RD (that would account for the energetic spinning) and most importantly of all for today 50% of the tailwalking team; whirling her way up to the carpark to wave down the other tail walker. She greeted me warmly, explaining she was directing one fellow With Me Now podcast listener from the Surprise View Carpark to the start, and another from the upper car park to the lower, so in full-on organisational enabling mode, but still had time for enthusiastic welcoming and waving. It was all going to be fine. Also, this meant I had instant new friends from near and far. Hurrah, and we all found one another too, AND did I mention that as well as being RD; tailwalker (50%); With Me Now listener; parkrun acrobat and all round awesomeness this person is a selfie taking sensation? I didn’t? Well she is, check out the number of her shots I’ve lifted for your edification, enlightenment and enjoyment in this blog post. You’re welcome. With Me Now is a podcast ‘About parkrun passion by passionate parkrunners.’ If you don’t want to soil yourself by clicking onto their Facebook page, you can go straight to the With Me Now podcasts here and You Tube channel here. Go on, you know you want to, even more of a need for it now Free Weekly Timed is no more, not that that was any great loss to be fair, but if you enjoyed that, my, you will be properly MIND BLOWN by With Me Now. There are a log of podding and vlogging parkrunners these days. See also Nicola Runs – these vlogs have been a real tonic of parkrun joy in dark days when I couldn’t get out at all, as well as happier days when can relive parkruns past enjoy parkruns present and look forward to parkruns still to come…

Speaking of which, here we all are, just to get the parkrun party started:

The die was cast. I would be embarking on the forest bathing parkrun. My tailwalkers were in readiness, an entourage assembled, hurrah! I look like I’ve shaved my head. I haven’t. I forgot my buff though, if there’s one thing worse than running in the buff, it’s been caught parkrunning without one. Fortunately, my amiable companions were too polite to mention it.

Delighted as I was to see my tail walking buddies I couldn’t help but clock the absence of any fancy dressery. They had made the call that to avoid giving offence to others today wasn’t the day. It’s true, Fancy Dress in general and Pirate Fancy Dress in particular can go horribly wrong. So perhaps a sensible call. Do you remember the Colin Darch incident?

A former hostage has spoken of the moment he walked into a Women’s Institute meeting to give a talk on international piracy and found the group dressed as pirates. Colin Darch said he was amused that members of Parkham WI in North Devon had donned fancy dress for the occasion.

Darch, a retired sailor from North Devon, has written a book about his experience of being kidnapped by pirates in 2008 and often gives talks on the subject. The 75-year-old said his hosts had been “embarrassed” by the mix-up.

“Since I was released five years ago, I have spoken at a lot of conferences and serious events about the dangers of piracy and how to survive,” he said. “More recently, since writing the book, I have been taking to Rotary groups, Probus clubs and the occasional WI.

“When I arrived there were ladies with blue rinses wearing pirate hats and waving swords around. They had been led to believe it was a talk about piracy through the ages and not something right up to date.

“I think they were worried I might be a bit upset that they were trivialising it, but I thought it was funny. I just laughed and said it was like something from The Pirates of Penzance.

“They were more embarrassed than me and they asked me to judge the best pirate costume. They even bought a few of my books.”


Hilarious though, but definitely awkward.

Anyway, upshot was no fancy dress pirates at this parkrun, though there was a book signing, So that was exciting! More of that later

I remain hopeful that their fancy dress costumes, inflatable parrots and all, will see the light of day at a future parkrun. People do that all the time with their milestone tees after all. You can’t get them until after you’ve completed the event so they are inevitably only donned for the first time in subsequent weeks. I see no issue with doing the same for a pirate challenge outfit. It would be a positive boon to have them randomly rock up in fancy dress at a subsequent unrelated parkrun. After all, it is the parkrun ethos to allow each person to participate in their own way, doubt anyone would bat an eyelid, they might not even notice in the parade of other fancy dress themes; wedding parties; running club tees and wonky emotional support animals. Hardly worth raising an eyebrow for. It isn’t a lost parkrun fancy dress moment, merely a joy postponed, the anticipation will make the donning of the eye patches and companion bird even more exciting in due course.

Where was I? Oh yes, gathering, and then making our way to the start area. It was already distracting. There were wooden carvings already, and lovely inviting woodland pathways, and the buzz of assembling parkrunners, and the colourful collection of high vis heroes gathered in a glade like forest fairies preparing to do their magic under the directional spells of the day’s RD. Our attentive consort, the bouncy RD pointed out trip hazards – to help us to avoid them rather than implore us to make use of them. There are some uneven surfaces and the odd random hole about, which is to be expected on a trail route. It is the lovelier for it. Nature untamed. Photo opps with the pop up sign, with new friends and old. These pictures won’t take themselves!

And then, after a bit, we were called to the first timers’ welcome. We were especially honoured on this occassion to be personally welcomed by Chevin Forest parkrun’s Event Director Debbie. I can’t promise you’d be so blessed, but everyone in the team is equally enthusiastic and welcoming so you’ll never be left either unwelcomed or unenthused at this event. She has two dawgs herself; Winnie n Rosie I believe, so you are assured of a dawg friendly event if that’s important to you. This event is excellent for canines in terms of route and facilities, there is lots of space for parkrunners and barkrunners both.

There were a couple (well three actually) doing their first ever EVER parkrun, and about 35 of us who were touristing from elsewhere. Excitingly, I espied a Fell Foot apricot tee, sported by celebrity author Eileen Jones, who in lockdown, wrote The parkrun book, which has since been out on parkrun book relay all of its own. We’ve been Facebook friends for a while, but never met. I wasn’t expecting to see her out in the wild, so that was a very exciting spot. Turns out she’d been displaced from Fell Foot parkrun due to National Trust properties deciding not to allow parkrun to take place on their land this weekend. Their loss was our gain. Hurrah! I saved the sycophancy and recognition for later though, being attentive to the briefing instead, in between strolling around trying to take atmospheric photos. I don’t know why I bothered really, as mine are almost all universally terrible, and others took much better ones of the same event. Oh well, they do say it’s the thought that counts. I’d like to agree, but sometimes it’s getting the photo that counts for more. A variation on the ‘it it’s not on Strava, it didn’t happen’ logic. Anyway, here we are, at the first timers’ welcome being attentive and excited and trying not to roll down the hill and crash into those already assembling at the start.

Check out the trees! See, lovely aren’t they.

After this welcome, there was a scamper down the hill to the start. Those that were able to scamper, scampered, I did my robotic shuffle. The surface was dry and although I can imagine it could get muddy over winter, it really wasn’t bad at all. Though gradients did kick in later.

Next stop the RD briefing. There was a moment when some walkers wanted to come through and the crowd of parkrunners parted to let them pass, all very amenable. The sloping start gives a good view of the Run Director and good acoustics too. So we could all hear the various announcements. I wasn’t quite sure how they’d handle the death of the Queen, but the event went for a one minute’s silence. It was serene and quiet in the woods. It is moving when people collectively gather and share experiences, that is the entire magic of a parkrun really, I mean in honesty there’s nothing to stop anyone, anywhere setting out on a 5k walk, run or jog on their own at any time – maybe standing on a street corner in a high vis timing people as they pass or shouting encouragement might be harder to explain – but it is the doing together and post parkrun faffery that builds the connections. The astonishing thing to me was that the silence was observed by all. It is apparently possible for a group to be quiet all at the same time – a lesson to carry forward to future run briefings perhaps?

Minute’s silence observed, a few more parkrunners than usual in black perhaps, choosing to wear 100 tees over other colours? I think that was probably about right. Those who feel parkrun should not have happened have the option to stay away. For me missing parkrun would be just another deprivation. I was glad that once the acknowledgement was made, it was parkrun very much as usual, but minus pirate fancy dress.

Here we are at the start

and here we are underway!

Off we trotted behind them. I say ‘trotted’ it was more of a laboured amble to be fair. It is alarming how quickly the field disappeared out of sight. Very quickly you are past the time keepers and volunteer team cheering you on your way – possibly even more quickly if you don’t stop for a group photo on your way past, but where would be the fun in that?

and heading off up a fairly steep hill. Not sure if these are the right sequence to be fair, but if you’ve been you’ll know the course anyway, and if you haven’t you won’t know any better will you. A bit of creative licence isn’t a bad thing, I want you to experience Chevin Forest parkrun for yourself unimpeded by accurate spoilers in advance of your visit. You’re welcome 🙂

Good news though, plenty of distractions and interludes en route. There is the sculpture trail which is jolly fun, but also interactive marshals which were even more fun – hard though that is to imagine, and the constant antics of our tailwalking RD to keep us entertained at no extra charge. One day, I’ll get a proper camera so I can capture such moments with the clarity and va-va-voom they merit, for now, you’ll have to make do with these:

I love how the marshal is so used to the antics of our core team member escort, she doesn’t even bother to look around. That ability to get airborne is astounding though, a super power basically. Very impressive show of defying gravity. It was like being accompanied around by a life size jack in the box, except it was a Jill-out-of-the-box, and quite right too. Women should not be stuffed in boxes and restrained. Nobody should to be fair. Also parkrun is inevitably exciting, one can’t help but jump about on such occasions. Try it and see.

As well as defying gravity, we got a guided tour of sites en route. There was the trig point – though they didn’t seem to be at the actual highest point which confused me. There were also viewing points. Chariot racing photo opportunity points. The old tom (?) marshal point with the rather broken and sad hunched carving of a man, even the presence of a cheering parkrun marshal was not enough to lift his flagging heart. I don’t think it is Tom actually, but I can’t remember. I’ll try to find out, or I might just leave it as a mystery, that would be fine too.

I’ve looked, can’t find out, but did find out the sculptures were make by a local called Shane, I don’t think I’ve ever met an actual Shane, still haven’t to be fair, but this is evidence they are out there somewhere in the wild so that’s good. It’s also well worth having a gander at his creative process, the history of the trail and the trees origins. These are not random carvings, they have a story to tell. More importantly they are really fun to encounter and brilliant for posing on, with and adjacent to.

Similarly, our passage through the forest trails was not random either. (Hope you appreciated that seamless segue back on to the parkrun theme). However, nearly a week later, my memories lack actual chronology, and have merged into images of meeting people, and laughing, and posing for photos.

Oh, and there is even one dedicated to parkrun for Run Directors, Event Directors and other local parkrun dignitaries to sit on to survey their view. Isn’t that a lovely gesture? Seemed almost cruel to drag her away, left alone, she would have morphed into the landscape, and no doubt be there still, her spirit urging parkrunners on and causing dachshunds to paws pause and ponder.

I think the elephant may have been my favourite, but so very hard to choose. And anwyway we couldn’t linger, so much to see, places to go, parkrunners to see priorities to discuss.

Here are some people we met – oh and a dachshund too, that was very cute – not that the people weren’t also cute, but this little fella was cuteness overload and some. Didn’t like the tailwalker scratching the ground though, very bad form apparently, good to know. This is a very dog friendly parkrun by the way. And don’t the dawgies know it? Rhetorical question, yes they do! There were many chilled, excited and generally happy and enthused pooches about. Some as barkrunners, some as Chevin Forest explorers sans parkrun, all were welcomed and accommodated. In the café afterwards too for the record.:

And here is a particularly fine marshal point for parkrunner spotting. In fact there were several – go spoil yourself and take a gander. We did, paused to cheer other parkrunners past; As a double lapper, slower participants will get passed as speedier parkrunners do their second lap, but this is a good opportunity for friend and celebrity spotting, and exchanging mutual cheers so a boon. The path is generally pretty wide so it didn’t cause any congestion as such, though perhaps in winter it might mean you’d need to brave romping through mud to overtake, but that’s a plus surely? You don’t feel like you’ve had a proper parkrun outing if you come home with clean trainers in winter!

Here you go:

I feel I should be more informative about the route. I was too busy gazing about to notice really. You do a sort of outy bit, then go round in a big loop, then go around the big loop again. Marshals cheerily waited for us, and for the second circuit we were just me and the two tail walkers and the remaining marshals really. Some marshals once stood down opted to head back, others carried on round the route to get their steps in and enjoy some quite forest bathing of their own.

As is often the way, we had some good chats at the back, in between our spontaneous partying. Fun stuff and serious stuff too. So topics covered fancy dress highs and lows, the nature of trauma passing down generations – yep, you might be surprised how powerful walk and talk can be in terms of opening up conversations. We also shared stories of parkruns we have known and loved and had quite a lot of talk about walking at parkrun. Next month, October is to be dedicated to parkwalk at parkrun. No it isn’t parkwalt despite the graphics, and I share the slight disappointment that it isn’t parkwaltz either.

Despite the weird graphic, I couldn’t be happier about this. It’s a tricky one. In theory all parkruns welcome walkers, but those of us at the back today have experienced walking at parkrun and as parkrun passionistas don’t wish to be critical of the events we know and love and appreciate the efforts put in by volunteers. Yet it remains the case that experiences of walking at parkrun can be erm, ‘mixed.’ I’ve had awesome tailwalkers see me round and RDs welcome me, and I’ve also been at the parkrun where the tailwalker walked ahead of me the whole time, telling every marshal as she got to them ‘you might as well stand down, this one’s going to be ages’ I was in tears after that one. Then there’s the well-meaning but misguided encouragement to skip bits of the route, cut corners – ‘no thanks, I’ve come for the 5k, but now I’m really thinking you want me to hurry up so you can all go home‘. The dismantled finish funnels. The celebratory cake long since consumed. These might seem small things, but they can be very alienating. Also the message from some that walking is the gateway to the ‘normal’ participation of parkrun by running, not an end and massive achievement in itself.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to run again, perhaps. But for some health conditions only deteriorate. What I do know, is that for a time last year, I didn’t know if I’d ever make it out of my house again, let alone back to a parkrun. Although I’m frustrated at my progress, I can walk now, and although it takes it out of me, I am getting better I think. There are others for whom walking is what only happens on a good day, it’s not the expectation that once you are ‘better’ you will suddenly be able to run. It feels like a guilty secret to admit there are sometimes issues with how walkers experience parkrun. People mean well, but don’t always understand the undermining impact of a throw away remark or casual inference that walking isn’t doing parkrun ‘properly’. ‘It’s called parkRUN‘ is a common refrain. Oh FFS, things can evolve. How would innovation ever occur if we didn’t try to do things differently, let’s not leave improvements to chance, let’s experiment with change. New beginnings are exciting. It’ll be an adventure – be open to its possibilities. It’s going to be grand.

Besides if others walk it doesn’t prevent people from running if they want to participating just as they do now, it simply opens up the event for others, I don’t see why it should be contentious. For me the joy of discovering parkrun has always been finding an environment of runners where as a slow runner I could join in – and then volunteering, well, that’s fab too obvs. Running clubs seemed just to feed my sense of inadequacy, the last straw being when the club vest was only available in a men’s cut up to a size 16. I’ve taken part in runs where ‘no-one is left behind’ and that meant people did wait, only to sprint off again as soon as you are breathlessly in sight, thus I was perpetually on my own, breathless, never getting a chance to recover with my mind battling ever more intrusive thoughts about my own inadequacies. Worst of all those who announce they are injured so feeling really pathetic so they’ll join the slow group, and still sprint ahead seemingly mocking those of us for whom their bad day is unobtainable. parkrun has been my safe place as a runner and now I can’t run at all, walking at parkrun has enabled me to participate up to a point. However, even as an experienced parkrunner, familiar with its ethos and with many scattered parkrun friends I can feel inadequate, apprehensive and lost rocking up at an unknown parkrun as a walker. I’d just so love that to change, to feel confident setting out. It takes courage to step out the door sometimes, and although I try to embrace ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ and I know that only be moving our of our comfort circles can we grow, I just long for a parkrun day to come round again when I didn’t have to pluck up courage to go. It’s the uncertainty about what you might encounter. I’ve pretty much never regretted a parkrun, but I have had mixed experiences and certainly there are some I’d be more likely to recommend to worried walkers coming for their first ever parkrun than others. junior parkrun seems to have nailed this. My local Sheffield Olympic Legacy park junior parkrun is fabulous in its capacity to welcome all comers without pressure or judgement. That’s as participants, volunteers or adult carers taking part alongside their youngsters but with their own fitness goals. The juniors who amble round at the back swinging a favourite rabbit toy by the ears, taking an occasional detour to circle a cone or high five a marshal bring extra joy to the event, it’s not a problem, it’s a total bonus. I think junior parkrun retains an innocence and inclusivity that some of the 5k events have allowed to slip away. There is no cynicism at junior parkrun, for the most part the times really don’t matter, and the important thing, the only really important rule as junior parkrun founder Paul Graham would say, is to ‘have fun!’ A mantra I try to pass on to all first timers I encounter. This emphasis is what needs to be restored to the 5k events. Walkers shouldn’t be a problem to a parkrun, they should be a joy, an asset and in honesty, it could be where the events have maximum impact. I know without being able to walk at parkrun I wouldn’t have had a safe way to increase my distances and experiment with new terrain as I try to recover mobility, I’m hugely grateful for it, but I also see how it has scope to be more welcoming still, and it’s fantastic if that initiative is coming. I can not wait! Bring it on! And if you are a bit dubious, maybe just try to keep an open mind…

For others to be able to access parkrun as a gateway not just to being active, but much more importantly to being connected, to be able to cry with laughter sharing stories with people you’ve only just met. To discover new places; be given permission to play again and parkfaff with the best of them. Or even just to come, do you own thing and go away again, without pressure to interact if you don’t want to, that would be fab too. An exciting new chapter in parkrun, new adventures to unfold, a fresh page turned, it’s going to be great!

The real challenge of being a walker at parkrun is that it’s impossible to be invisible, you are often a minority, and can feel a burden on events. I don’t like thinking I’ll be making a team wait for me in inclement weather. I have done my fair share of volunteering, I know it’s hard in the freezing cold waiting for someone ages behind everyone else. But if the event was packed with more walkers that would be ace, plenty more people to cheer home. I’d just love to do a South African parkrun where I understand walking is almost the norm and numbers are huge so you are never alone at the back of the pack. How extraordinary that would be. To be central to a parkrun event, not an add on.

I really hope that this initiative to encourage walkers will make walking not just acceptable at parkruns, but more of the norm, so I and others like me don’t have to feel self-conscious, inadequate and a burden, but can just rock up and do it. No messaging ahead apologetically to say you’re sorry you’ll be slow, or scanning events’ results histories to see if they are used to slower final finishers. By the way, don’t get annoyed if we seem to be taking even longer because we stop to take photos and chat to marshals on the way round, that’s a coping strategy for pain management – though also a massive boon and enrichment on the way round.

If you are someone who normally whizzes round a parkrun, why not walk one in October? Properly walk it, right at the back, not trying to encourage walkers to run, that might not be realistic or their objective, but just to experience parkrun in a different way. It’s a revelation, much like volunteering, you will see the event very differently.

The irony was, we three at the back, weren’t witches, though we are most definitely wise women and to be fair, not much wrong with being a witch in the sense of having our own agency and power – we were are all comfortable with walking at parkrun, yet we did initially put a bit of pressure on ourselves not to dilly dally too much. No worries though, our tailwalking RD has it sussed, her marshals are used to her, it takes the time it takes. Walkers welcome! Chevin Forest parkrun welcomes walkers indeed.

and we did have a blast at the back:

So even though we were well over the one hour mark, the end seemed to come quickly. I went through the tunnel ahead of my tail walking companions who were like an official entourage. I’ve decided I quite like having them at a parkrun. Loads of stories and laughs to share, someone to navigate and act as official photographer as well as see you home safely. It was a bonding sort of a parkrun adventure, just lovely.

But wait, there’s more!

Yes, yes, that was parkrun done. Through the funnel, avoiding getting my final bingo numbers obvs, timed in, token given and scanned, but then it was celebrity meet up time, because there she was, The parkrun book author, hurrah. ‘How parkrun changed our lives by Eileen Jones‘ Appropriate adulation followed, and was taken in good humour, as all possible permutations of parkrun people and parkrun book and parkrun author were experimented with. Turns out Eileen is a hugger too (ask first), this makes me happy! I miss hugs:

I needed another pee and am slow, so ambled ahead to the café round the corner and associated conveniences. I thought at first the café must have a dress code as some pretty snappy dressers around, but turns out they were for a wedding party in an adjacent converted outbuilding. We got to descend into the old cowshed which was just ridiculously picturesque with lovely worn stone and a beautifully maintained informal cottage garden and loads of seating inside and out. Dog friendly, it that’s important to you and parkrunner friendly too, offering a discount on presentation of your barcode only I forgot about that. The cakes and breakfasts to choose from were amazing. The temptation to just faceplant onto the counter or have one of each was pretty enormous. post parkrun faffery, post parkrun breakfast, forget ‘it was always about the coffee’ this was a full on second – and possibly third breakfast scenario! Dear reader, I bring you the Mistal kitchen

We had such excellent faffing! It might look like we all knew each other but that was not so, it is testament to the bonding power of parkrun that we had connections everywhere. So Red Ted was spotted by someone who knew his creator, and then our author ended up doing some impromptu book signings, and then others of us found connections with parkruns we had in common albeit on different occasions and as if that wasn’t enough there was always the fact we’d just done this splendid one to bond us together. We are all part of one another’s stories now, a proper connection that will endure! It was really affirming and lovely and all memories of early morning starts and pre parkrun apprehension evaporated. The cafe brought out trays laden with steaming coffees and imaginative and beautifully presented breakfast options. I could happily have lived there were it not for my frog and squirrel guardianship responsibilities back home in Sheffield.

After a bit, some people with lives to lead began to disperse, but me and 50% of the tail walking team lingered longer in solidarity with the ‘it was always about the coffee‘ directive, we did move inside, and it might have even been a three coffee morning, I only ever drink coffee on parkrun days, I was buzzing for the journey home.

So morning morphed into afternoon, and then I too had to depart. It had been a fantastic morning. Chevin Forest parkrun is a truly welcoming space, and the forest gorgeous. The views out from the route promise a wider landscape that would be amazing to explore. It was a little overcast, but that made the light perfect for seeing into the distance. If this was your local walking and running playground you’d be blessed indeed. The vegan and vegetarian friendly café was the icing on the cake, a great deal of cake, not cheap, but for a treat pretty fabulous.

Thank you lovely Chevin Forest parkrun people, thank you celebrity parkrun author, thank you fellow parkrunners, thank you lovely tail walkers and brunch companion(s) – thank you all for a healing morning in the forest. Thank you all the high vis heroes who made the magic happen, Chevin Forest parkrun is gorgeous, joyful, spectacular and very wonderful indeed! Bravo!

#loveparkrun #walking at parkrun I’m not sure where next Saturday will take me parkrun wise, but you’ll be a tough act to follow.

How did anyone manage in a pre parkrun world? parkrun is a precious thing indeed. Nurture it.

Oh and if you are interested the full results for Chevin Forest parkrun number 52 are here and rather more interestingly, there is a fab run report from tail walking titan Ali here. Or will be, as soon as it goes live. And you can read all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.  Your choice

*presence not guaranteed, but in other news, every parkrunner is a celebrity in my eyes, all have a story to share and unique intrinsic value of their own.

Categories: 5km | Tags: , , , , | 4 Comments

parkrun Nivarna at Normanby Hall?

I’m fearful that what I am about to post may be deemed by some to be only just short of sacrilege in parkrun terms, but I can not tell a lie, Normanby Hall parkrun is truly special. (That’s not the controversial bit). I think it may, for me at least, knock Fountains Abbey off it’s plinth of ‘most spectacular of the region’s parkruns’. (That’s the controversial bit). I mean Fountains Abbey parkrun is not known as Fabbey parkrun for nothing, it’s an astonishing venue, but Normanby Hall parkrun is definitely a new favourite for me. It’s got all the things, and no pressure to finish and depart before the grounds open which knocks the shine off Fabbey parkrun if you are parkrunner who needs an hour to get around.

I’m not even entirely sure how Normanby Hall parkrun came to be on my radar in the first place, though now it is I’m mortified it was missing from my parkrun ‘to do’ map up until yesterday. It just fitted the bill for an accessible sounding parkrun within reasonable reach of Sheffield. I honestly didn’t know much about it before. I know, I know, I’m truly embarrassed by this, but hopefully by being properly open about this history, others can learn from my mistakes and not leave it so long to rock up and discover this gem of a parkrun for themselves.

The day didn’t start particularly well. I think it’s taken my body a while to recover from last week, and I was in a lot of pain first thing. I long for a day when I wake up pain free, but am coming to the depressing conclusion that that’ll be the day I wake up dead, which is annoying because if you are dead you don’t feel the benefit. I am not debilitated by pain the way I was a few months ago, I can do stuff, but everything hurts. I was hoping to have a stick free parkrun today, going to a new venue where no-one would know me and so no pressure, but was wondering if that was such a good idea. Hmm. It’s hard to know with this new reality how much my fears of falling are founded and how much they are an understandable, but disproportionate anxiety. Hmmm. I decided to take red ted and my stick with me and review when I got there.

In the car, and on our way. Wait, what was this stuff coming out of the sky? Rain? I’d forgotten about rain, it’s been so long since we’ve had any. Oh well, I’d be getting wet, I’d failed to chuck a waterproof in the car though I did have my fleece with me. It is officially meteorological autumn now apparently, and it did seem darker suddenly and even a bit of a nip in the air as I set off. parkrun tourism gets a lot less viable once the bad weather sets in. ‘Winter is coming‘ isn’t only an ominous phrase in Game of Thrones terms, it fills the most dedicated of parkrun tourists with fear and horror at the prospect of cancelled parkruns and missed starts due to ice and snow and dark and stormy nights!

Not here yet though, and in fact, by the time I got to the parkrun location it had not only stopped raining, but it was properly humid and sticky and not even autumnal let alone wintry.

It was an easy drive, me and my sat nav seem to have worked through our forming, storming and norming stages and are borderline performing. We got there without any passive aggressive demands on her part to do a u-turn but without meeting any diversions either.

The directions to the parkrun on the official Normanby Hall parkrun website blah de blah say:

Getting there by road
From Scunthorpe: Follow the B1430 to the north, signposted Burton upon Stather. When you reach Normanby go straight ahead at the mini roundabout and follow the road round to the right, the park main entrance is on your right.
From the Humber Bridge: Follow the A1077 towards Winterton/Scunthorpe. Just before Winterton, turn right towards Thealby/Burton Stather. In Thealby turn left towards Normanby. The park Gate is on your left after about a mile or follow the signs to Normanby Hall Country Park
From the M181: Follow the A1077 towards Winterton. Turn left at the third roundabout onto the B1430 signposted Burton Stather. When you reach Normanby go straight ahead at the mini roundabout and follow the road round to the right, the park main entrance is on your right.

There is plenty of free parking within the Park. For free parking use the overspill car park (signposted) and display a parkrun barcode in the windscreen of the car. PLEASE DO NOT USE ANY ADJOINING ROADS, INCLUDING NORMANBY VILLAGE FOR PARKING

but to be honest, I just used the postcode for Normanby Hall which is DN15 9HU, and then followed the brown attraction signs as I got near. It was very easy to find. On arrival, there is a huge car park, and a big sign directing you to the overflow carpark where parkrunners can have 2 hours free parking if they display a barcode. Why you’d need to park on adjoining roads or Normanby Village I don’t know, there is an abundance of well organised parking right at the parkrun. Having said that though, I initially followed the signs and went right down to the end of the unsurfaced road and ended up at what looked like a campsite, so had to turn around and come back. By this point there were three car park marshals in situ and it seems you actually just go into the big field to the right of the sign, not down the long road. It’s obvious really, it’s just I was very early and attempted to park before a marshal was in place.

Once I was parked up, it was but a short walk across the carpark to the sunflower surrounded toilet block, via a quick detour to check out the Go Ape wooden sculpture. They don’t have actual apes, which is good, because primates in captivity is an abomination, but they do have one of those air rope; zip wire; scary treetop courses. The sign about the go ape course was super scary, apparently three people have fallen off Go Ape courses because of not abiding properly to the safety protocols of securing their harnesses at all time. Well, that’s telling you. Luckily I was there for the parkrun where there is no requirement for safety harnesses. Whilst a face plant is always a possibility, it won’t be from the height of the Hyperion redwood.

Lots of loos, though behind cages, separating the men’s and women’s which was somewhat weird. It was like each toilet block had it’s own distinct exercise yard, I have no idea why. I can report they were very clean, and came complete with not only toilet paper but hot water and liquid soap too. This parkrun venue has nailed the parkrun precautionary pee protocols, always a positive first impression at a new parkrun when it delivers on this front. You can dear reader, travel to this venue with confidence in the personal ablutions and toileting aspects of your adventure. These details matter, well they do to me anyway. And let’s face it, hot water anywhere is going to become a rarity in months to come. We must celebrate both the presence of water and the miracle of it having been heated up for our indulgence whenever and wherever we can. Anyway, bottom line is, that it was sat nav accuracy? Tick. Car parking? Tick. And toilets? Tick. All good. Satisfied at this provision you can free your mind to focus on the other winning aspects of the parkrun.

I still was ambivalent about whether to try the route unaided. I mean if I could joggle and jiggle a bit last week then maybe this week I should ditch my metaphorical training wheels in the form of my stick and parkrun naked – figuratively speaking obvs. Don’t be childish. It’s what’s going on inside your head that made that sound risqué not mine. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Racked with indecision, I wobbled and wound my way back to my car, a friendly marshal asked if I needed any help, I must have been unconsciously sporting my perpetually bewildered look. Still, it was fortuitous, as I took the opportunity to ask about the surface of the route. It was a reassuring account. Sounded not only highly accessible, but, get this, bouncy tarmac in parts! You know that thick rubberised stuff, that is used on surfaces for playgrounds and things. That is very forgiving, only peatland themselves are bouncier, this was going to be fun. I’d ditch the sticks, throw caution to the wind, and make every parkrun count by just seeing how it unfolded, hurrah!

I made my way through to the courtyard, where as I entered I saw the high vis heroes assembling. This parkrun is so well organised and set out. This is where the post parkrun café is with loads of outside seating. As the volunteers gathered, there was a big white board inviting people to sign up to volunteer on subsequent weeks.

There’s an obvious path out of the courtyard, and an impressive array of information boards, including a map of the route. Oh good, I’d not really looked that up before hand. Though I will now, the official Normanby not Normandy Hall parkrun page course description blah de blah says:

Course Description
The route takes you on mainly surfaced paths with two very short lengths of trail path. Some sections of the course may accumulate mud, leaves and puddles after rain, or ice in winter. Dependent on availability, marshals will be at key sections of the course

I think it is fair to describe that as ‘minimalist’. Perhaps the picture will help. The course apparently looks like this:

Is that photo the right way up? To be honest, the picture doesn’t really help much does it. I mean, I suppose that is the map of the route, not just a bit of wet spaghetti randomly dropped onto the map from a great height

Oh well, maybe the map on site will help. Oh good yes, it has different colour codes and marshal points and all sorts, bound to help!

Erm, nope, not really. This is why parkruns have marshals. I decided not to worry my pretty little head with navigational details. One boon of being a walker is that for the most part I’m in touching distance of, if not actually alongside the tail walkers, and there ought to be people within my line of sight at least for the most part, though that isn’t a given these days of course.

You exit the courtyard, where there is the reassuring and exciting sight of the parkrun flag, erected in readiness along with a ‘caution runners’ sign, so you know you are in the right place. Off to the left a bit, down a path and then oh my! Just look at that house. A huge grand building with a Narnia/ Mary Poppins style line of Victorian lamp posts alongside, which cultural reference in meaningful to you depends on your frame of reference. Based on subsequent experience of the park though, I’d say this is a magical Narnia land more than an American imagining of Victorian London, but each to their own. Even more excitingly, people were a-gathering. More specifically parkrun people. You could tell on account of their apricot tops, milestone shirts, running club tees and generally cheery dispositions and extremeley photogenic appearances. The marshals as always being the most photogenic of all, of course.

I didn’t know anything at all about Normanby not Normandy Hall, so I’ve subsequently googled it. Google thought I was looking up Norman Wisdom at first, so that was confusing, but we got there in the end. Apparently ‘Normanby Hall is a stunning Regency mansion, set in an idyllic 300 acre estate in the heart of North Lincolnshire, offering the perfect backdrop to your day out’, all well and good, but not a lot to go on. It is now a venue for all the things from weddings to the Antiques Roadshow. And they also have a marathon especially for hedgehogs coming up soon. I’m a bit dubious about whether that’s a good thing to be fair, don’t they need all their resources to be building up to get them through winter? Still, anything that raises awareness around hedgehogs has to be a good thing. Oh, and actually it’s only a half, so probably ok…

Oh hang on, I’ve found more stuff…

The House and Family
Built in 1825, Normanby Hall Country Park is a Regency mansion designed by Robert Smirke, and is owned by the Sheffield Family, former Dukes of Buckingham, and the original owners of Buckingham Palace.

During the 19th and 20th centuries the Sheffield family resided at Normanby for five months of the year, spending the winter season here pheasant shooting, and entertaining guests over Christmas and the New Year. In the spring, the family would move to London with some of their servants for the ‘coming out season’ and then return to Normanby for a week in June/July en route to their shooting lodge in Scotland where the family would spend the summer.

In 1964 the Sheffield family leased the house and grounds to what was then Scunthorpe Borough Council on a 99 year lease. Since then, the rooms that are open to the public have been furnished in the late Regency style using inventories of the house from 1829 to 1840 as a guide.

Well, that is positively enlightening! Even allowing for the fact that Robert Smirke sounds like a made up person, but then again so does Lord PANIC who we keep hearing from of late. Yes I know it’s actually Pannick, but that spelling is not nearly as entertaining. Why let the truth get in the way of a good story after all. Anyway, it’s sort of an audio joke isn’t it? Don’t need to ruin it by writing it down.

I had no idea that it was once owned by the Sheffield Family, but then again, I didn’t know the hall existed at all 24 hours ago. Blooming second homers though eh, only living there for part of the year. Still, if they hadn’t indulged themselves with landscape gardening a country park then we wouldn’t have a parkrun here so, I’ll let that go. A 99 year lease doesn’t seem very long though, more than half way through. Anyway, enough of this parkrun related edutainment, back to the parkrun in question. Quick, let’s look at some photos to get back in the mood. Where was I? Oh yes, gathering parkrunners. And lovely things, like a photo frame for picture posing, a ‘secret’ walled garden, so many intriguing places inviting you to go off and explore… Then again, exploring parkrun paraphernalia is super fun too! They had a trolley for putting all their things on, dinky token buckets that would double for building sandcastles if you fancied a sojourn to a sandy beach later; and a finish token board, lovingly crafted to keep tokens from escaping into the wild or shuffling out of sequence. The finish funnel was all set up, and volunteers were meeting and greeting one another.

I was starting to feel properly excited. Then the RD took possession of a mike, and it felt like it was the compere at a festival starting the warm up. A big up welcome, and a call out to first timers to gather for the first timers welcome. Which we duly did. It felt like a reasonably big parkrun but there were only 14 first timers of whom an impressive 6 were first time everers. isn’t that exciting, first ever parkrun and they came here. Wowsers, they chose well. I’m not sure if the first time everers actually made the first timers’ welcome, but according to today’s results they all got times so presumably they worked out what to do or came with friends who facilitated their parkrun debut. There were a fair few I noticed in Couch to 5k graduate 2022 t-shirts, but I honestly couldn’t tell if they were recent or long time graduates of that app.

We had a high vis faun as our very own Mr Tumnus to greet us to the parkrun. Would now be a good time to admit I’ve never actually read The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, always found those sort of books really heavy going with the unrelatable children and heavy handed religious imagery, but then again, I’ve also not seen Game of Thrones and still feel confident enough to recycle the ‘winter is coming’ meme, so that’s me, living life on the knife edge, taking risks, putting myself out there. Sorry, if as a result the whole thing is nonsensical, but look at him, standing all welcoming under the lamp, it does have a wonderland feel to it I’m sure you’ll agree 🙂 And I’m Lucy after all, so it properly works, who knows what lies beneath those trousers, might be a faun. He did reference deer in the park after all as part of his welcome, maybe that was a clue, carefully planted for those intuitive enough to spot it?

Amongst the wide eyed, bushy tailed and attentive first timers, was an a contingent from Beverley Westwood parkrun, which, as well as having actual cow marshals, is erm ‘undulating’ one of their number boldly declared he was aiming not only to be first finisher but potentially break the course record. Kudos to him, this is a great surface for a fast time, and flat too. however, I do think it is an ambitious aim to try for first finisher if you’ve not done the route before. Our very own Mr Tumnus welcoming marshal gamely tried to explain the route, but honestly. Something about out and back, and round and round and tractor turns and woodland, and watch out for the der, and I just started to hear white noise and made the grateful decision just to follow the person in front. Having now completed the course I can confirm it is genuinely confusing. Sort of like being blind folded and spun round and then pushed out to find others in a game of blind man’s buff only without the blindfold and with more rainbow chimes in the woods.

Briefing done, the RD did some trawling for milestones. There was at least one person with a 50th celebration, the RD being at pains to point out it was their fiftieth parkrun not their fiftieth birthday, the parkrunner in question being actually 21. Fair enough. They had balloons though, so that’s good. Shout out for tourists..

… and then – and this made me SO HAPPY – we were invited to shimmy down to the start. Yes, dear reader, you heard that right. This was a parkrun where you get to shimmy, and are even encouraged to do so, and what’s more dear reader – yest there is more – some people were to be seen executing outstanding shimmying as they made there way to the start. Told you this parkrun gives others a run for their money, there is not enough shimmying as a default when gathering at parkrun starts.

And so shimmying concluded, parkrun started and awf, a pouring forth of parkrunners excitedly galloping off into the woods. Hurrah!

First loop was indeed into the woods, the path was good, and I could see the bright colourful train of parkrunners streaming ahead. It was an impressive sight. The first loop is relatively short, and as I was heading out and just reaching one of the early marshal points, I was in time to see the faster parkrunners coming back to rejoin our path after doing the first little loop round. I already loved this parkrun, I love that the marshals were super friendly and helpful, I love the venue and I love that you get to see the faster runners and indeed other parkrunners in general as the out and backs within the separate loops (it’s complicated to explain, you have to be there) lends a certain sociability. It was my first and probably only time here, but even so by the time I’d finished the course there were marshals and participants I must have passed and exchanged greetings with half a dozen times, I’m sure regulars must find it easy to get to know one another if they choose to do so – and why wouldn’t you, they all seem lovely!

You head round the loop, going towards some seriously impressive ornamental wrought iron gates. There a seated marshal was in situ to shoo you round the loop, and then you re-emerge at the marshal we’d passed earlier. Spoiler alert – you get to see these marshals again later, more than once, but I didn’t know this at this point. There are also little carvings scattered about, a squirrel that was ENORMOUS and a fox that was not, all very maaaaaaaaaaaagical though, plenty to gawp at and enjoy, those faster runners are missing out as all these lovely forest secrets pass them by in a blur of speed.

back the way we came, and oh look! The finish funnel! You get to run back and forth past this several times too. Again, I like this. Oh, and the surface in the early wooded bit was indeed bouncy tarmac, really inviting. Not had such a buzz since I ran along one of those weird walking travelators – flat ‘escalators’ (which is the opposite of Sheffield Flat, as these assist speedy horizontal rather than vertical progress.) at a deserted airport once. Honestly, I felt super human. Even though I can do barely a joggle and that a jiggly one, I did have a wee scamper on the bouncy bit and can report it feels lovely. Oh that all running routes were as forgiving.

and past the funnel we go and more distracting things to see. Check out this amazing fenced off tree for starters:

I concede my photo doesn’t really do it, but honestly it was ancient, and glorious, with stories to tell I’m sure.

Then another marshal ahead, once again, faster parkrunners were to be seen peeling off in a different direction, but I ploughed on ahead, snapping photos now and again as it was a great sight. Lots of lovely parkrunners doing their thing. I’ve done over 260 parkruns now, and I still find it makes me feel emotional at times when you find yourself at a new parkrun community, where elite runners and just getting rounders can participate in the same event and meet and greet and encourage one another, and in this instance the tail walkers have actual tails too. It’s quite something, I never tire of it.

Plodding onwards, another marshal and more speedy parkrunners. Past some of the Go Ape adventure playground in the sky, and again on a contra flow. The parkrun tourist was in the lead on target for first finisher although whether he’d get the course record was impossible to predict. I got one flying feet pic, so feel vindicated for my point and push efforts en route. Small victory but one to celebrate all the same.

I don’t really know if this was the mid point of the second loop as such, but anyway as I reached the end, the parkrunners ahead of me were looping the loop round a sort of grassy traffic island ahead. I mean it’s not quite the curly wurly of Somerdale Pavilion, but has it’s charm. Whilst the speedy parkrunner were heading back down for the final out past the finish funnel and round back again I got waved down the little side path to the right and into the woods proper. Wooo!

Oh my, the woods. This was my favourite bit! By now I was on my own, I couldn’t see the parkrunners ahead of me, partly because the path was a bit windy at this point, and partly because I’d slowed to a slow walk. Sore poorly legs and feet. I was managing without the stick, but learning how much it does help take some of the weight and that does make walking less painful. The tail walkers were quite far behind, I think they were having a social walk and talk and why not.

The woods were brilliant. It felt like going on a micro adventure of exploration and discovery. You can totally see why children in fairy tales end up leaving the path and getting lost in big woods. I kept being seduced off the path as I espied hidden treasures and curiosities amongst the undergrowth. A little detour wouldn’t hurt surely, I wasn’t going for a time, and as long as the tail walkers weren’t too close behind it wouldn’t delay the finish. I gazed up into cathedral high canapés canopies. Negotiating the parkrun without my sticks meant they didn’t get in the way of checking things out, and the distractions took my mind off my leg which was exploding with pain by this point. But pain is only pain, I didn’t feel like I was going to fall over and lose balance which had been my big fear, so that’s a breakthrough too. I just loved the woodland bit, you could lose yourself in there, having adventures, forest bathing writing your own stories. Perfect. Narnia indeed, but without the clumsy affectations of the book. And with less snow. Though I imagine the route would be gorgeous in deep snow if you could manage to get here for it. Apparently in season you get a confetti of blossom from the cherry trees as you pass on the way to the finish. What a wonderland!

There were huge, specimen trees towering overhead; a secret house; some rainbow chimes; bees in trees; nest boxes; Go Apery so much to see! I think it was here I noticed some parkrun footpath signs, so I guess this is one you could do as a freedom parkrun or (not)parkrun fairly easily. There were little bridges over streams, some rather dried up pools, I hope any amphibians have completed their transition into froglets by now. it was just lovely.

and then I emerged, confused, to where I think I’d been before, but frankly no idea any more. This was a truly perplexing route, I got completely disorientated, not in a bad way, you just put your faith in the marshals and surrender to the experience, but I did feel turned around. I guess if I went back and did it again it would make sense, but I was happy to just enjoy it.

Back out and oh look, a tractor train thing, all ready for the visitors arriving shortly. Like I said, lots to see.

And here was the 21 year old parkrunner on her fiftieth parkrun, all coming back down again as I headed back up to the finish/ start and once again carried on by

Belatedly the course was now beginning to make sense. I put a bit of a wiggle on up past the finish, though I did pause to try to get some shots of parkrunners who’d already finished mingling after their runs. I was acutely aware by the time I made it back again they’d probably all have scattered. In fact, a fair few were there, not just the mass of the volunteer team, but partners and friends of those still en route. Some came back out to join those on the course, and others were doing a cool down lap. I more of a sit down after parkrun type of participant, but each to their own.

I thanked the marshals still in situ, who were starting to feel like old friends. So positive. The RD made a point of encouraging people to thank the marshals as they passed in addition to the usual round of applause gesture at the start. The round of applause is good, but if you are a marshal out on course you don’t feel the benefit do you? Having a load of parkrunners greet you as they pass is way more fun. Today there had been some rejigging of the roster for some reason. Whether that was due to last minute no shows or just not enough volunteers I’m not sure, but either way, the team had rallied round to get the parkrun show on the road – or more accurately country park tracks – and see them home safely. I don’t know how they know everyone is back now I come to think of it, as I wasn’t aware of them counting us all out and counting us all back, but maybe not all the other parkrunners choose to go off piste in the enchanted wood. Even if they did though, I bet they do a sweep, and those tail walkers, probably sniffer dogs now I come to think of it. They looked like a pretty elite canine operation team now I come to think of it. Albeit quietly understated because of being undercover perhaps, but definitely would have found you and saved you from yourself if you found yourself passing through a mist into a parallel world of magic and mystery.

Here is the elite sniffer team for reference:

You have to admit, I may be onto something here.

And here are photos of the other sights as I made my way past the finish and beyond. You do go past the start/finish a great many times on this course, from a variety of angles. It’s like an invisible force keeps pulling you back. So I went past and back up to the turning point, only this time you get to run round the mini roundabout (which is actually angular rather than round, but you still have the smiley marshal with the music sound track – did I mention she had music about her person before? Well she did.) then back down again, past the start/finish again and past the tractor people, who let me take their photo and admire their train, and then turn around and back again. I’m very aware I’m making this sound like some sort of horrendous army running bleep test, but it was all very consensual and lovely and picturesque and supportive and not horrid and mandatory at all. Just in case you were starting to worry.

For the final stretch there was a parkrunner with a 6 week old baby, yep, you heard that right, good to start them young. Actually, in all seriousness, assuming parkrun survives, then I wonder what number of parkruns some of this next generation might yet hit. I didn’t even start parkrunning til I was nearly fifty, she’ll have a half a century of extra time to rack up parkruns. Maybe a 2000 miletone tee wont be all that extraordinary at all. Only about 40 years worth. Very doable. I wonder what colour they’ll go for. Maybe gold sequins – only biodegradable not plastic ones. Of the style that shows new pictures as you run your hand over it. It could be a colourful rainbow as the outer design, but as you stroke your hand across to reverse the sequins, you get an image of Paul and Jo S-H emerging beneath, captured on the occassion of their 500th parkrun. That would be great actually. If only I knew some parkrun ambassadors so I could put a word in. Surely a shoo in. That and an apricot travel mug, no idea why that’s not a thing yet. Is it really only me who is bothered by such an omission?*

We’d sort of being leap frogging one another as I paused to take photos and then jiggled ahead again. I decided that I’d do the previously unimaginable and go for a sprint finish. Everything is relative you have to understand. You might not have noticed any sprinting as such, but power walking feels like flying for me after months of not being able to mobilise at all. Finally, I got to go through the actual finish funnel instead of just endlessly trotting past it. Hurrah. I raised my arms in triumph, and got a lovely welcome from the team who were very much still present. I mean, it is an occupational hazard of volunteering in the finish funnel or time keeping that you have to stay to the bitter end, but the team did so with energy and enthusiasm and even joy. It was grand. I was able to turn around and snap the final finisher, before going to get my finish token and scan and all that business. No queues, another boon of being behind the rest of the pack. Personalised service. I could have the pick of the scanners, which was a tough call, as each was as magnificent as the next! It was like trying to choose a favourite froglet in my wildlife garden, an impossible task. And anyway, why would you want to, each was/is unique and magnificent in their own way.

The tail walkers came in. There was a bit of banter as to whether one of the hounds should get a finish token on account of it being carried some of the way. I expect the person giving out the tokens hadn’t realised this was just the dog being on special manoeuvres. It might have fine olfactory senses, but being a bit more limited on the limb length issue, sometimes has to be raised aloft to aid deployment. It was all laughed off in good humour, you wouldn’t want to blow your cover by making an issue over that. Also, barkrunners don’t get their own barcodes. Just so you know.

A cheery parkrunner who’d also set up the course, was now cone wrangling like a pro and helping with post event close down too. It looked like a lot of the volunteers here took on multiple roles, and it also seemed a friendly and close knit- but not cliquey team. If this was your home parkrun I completely get why you wouldn’t feel the need to bother to try anywhere else.

I thanked the team and made my way to the cafe for some post parkrun coffee. I was quite giddy at the prospect, elated by succeeding at getting round without any mobility aid, I felt a celebration was in order, and also coffee might revive me a bit for the drive home.

The cafe is in a converted stable or carriage block I assume. There were cakes and paninis that sort of thing. It wasn’t great for veggies and I imagine potentially hopeless for vegans. I decided to have a cheese pasty thing, which I’ve not had in many years, but just suddenly fancied. And a coffee. parkrun was/is always about the coffee after all.

DISASTER. No card on me. The nice people at the café were chilled about this and put my pasty on the side whilst I went to retrieve my bank card from the car. To be honest, I might have skipped all that extra walking and not bothered with a coffee if I’d known I’d not got it on me. Still, a boon of this extra mileage, was that I got to overhear the Go Ape people doing their version of the first timers’ welcome. It was hilarious, a lot of emphasis on this being a high risk activity and you might actually DIE in the doing if you didn’t take the safety briefing seriously, and if after you’d had the initial training you weren’t up for doing it on your own then you could bow out, and get a full refund and no questions asked apparently. I preferred the parkrun version to be fair, which was all rather more encouraging and with less mention of imminent death if you failed to abide by parkrun protocols.

Back to the café and they’d kept my order and gave me coffee. The impulse buy pasty was actually really good, dangerously so, crumbling fat filled pastry and hot cheese filling isn’t the healthiest of options, but my it was nice. The coffee though. Oh my hat. Big disappointment. Maybe they forgot to put any actual coffee in it. Insipid. Hot and wet, but entirely devoid of caffeine. I think it was the mismatch of expectations, I’ve had worse post parkrun coffee before, way worse, but this felt like a rather upmarket café, so the machine coffee let the side down. Also, all the drinks came in disposable cups with lids, which I understand makes life easier for the café, but isn’t great. There were recycling containers carefully labelled for the card cups and plastic lids separately but reuse would be so much better. Oh well.

Coffee might have been disappointing, but the farm shop was not. I was able to get a load of fab cards, randomly drawn by someone from Hexham Northumberland, including one of a rather lovely mallard. Regular readers will know how I do luvva duck. So that was good.

And then that was that.

Time to go home.

It was really positive parkrun morning. My only regret, apart from the coffee is not having the time or stamina to make a day of it, this is definitely a venue where you could spend time exploring, and I imagine with the changing seasons every visit would be different. You could even head on to the coast, and we all know how exciting it is to see the sea.

Next time eh.

Oh, are you still here? Thanks for that, I always really appreciate the tail walker coming in right behind. You are a star.

Happy parkrunning ’til next time. Be content dreaming of parkruns pass and parkruns still to come in the meantime. Oh happy thoughts…

Oh, and guess what? Hard to guess, I’ll have to tell you, I wasn’t even the only one documenting the event, it was like there was an international parkrun journalists convention there this weekend. Check out this fab video with extra stats and facts and actual in focus footage from Statsman Runs Normanby Hall parkrun Event 168 – Simply Beautiful – spoiler alert, he liked it too! To be fair, he like me wasn’t really building much in the way of suspenseful outcomes with his choice of title.

But wait, there’s more – Dannii Runs was also vlogging away, she has a fab video too here Normanby Hall parkrun, event 168, 03/09/22. A beautiful NENDY and it seems we were unanimous in finding Normanby Hall parkrun to be really jolly nice. Do like a bit of triangulation to confirm intuitive ethnographic research findings. I think we can all agree this is a parkrun we can recommend with confidence. Put it on your parkrun to do list, you won’t regret it 🙂

You can read all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though and forward for more recent ones.  Your choice

*Nope. This one is for you Ambassador Zaheer 🙂

Categories: 5km, parkrun, walking at parkrun | Tags: , , , , | 3 Comments

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