Salcey Forest parkrun where unicorns prance and the sun always shines.

Up until today I thought the only parkrun with a naturalised endemic unicorn population was Bushy parkrun. The latter parkrun also having deer – including spectacular stags, parakeets and skylarks in season. And also potential celebrity sightings of PSH amongst others. However, every parkrun day provides edutainment, as well as community coffee opportunities, and now I know better. Salcey Forest parkrun has to have them. FACT! As you pass through the forest on the parkrun route, the cathedral like trees tower overhead and with brilliant sunshine above (sunshine guaranteed at this parkrun I feel sure), shafts of light penetrate the canopy to illuminate gorgeous glades and dancing wildflower heads at the sides of the trails. Everywhere you look there are inviting paths, massive fallen trunks and intriguing constructions and signs to lure you off the beaten track and further and further into the woods.

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Honestly, you can quite see how it children in fairy tales are want to wander ever deeper into such environments. In fairy tales, granted, it doesn’t always end well, but here, the forest surrounds are properly gorgeous. Ferns and mosses and wildflower borders abound, this has to be optimum unicorn habitat. Also, the forest feels vast, unicorns need quite a bit of space, and seem able to share it with Zog, ancient ‘druid oaks’ and an abundance of wildlife too. They are shy though, and whilst I’d properly swear I got a glimpse of a flying mane or flicking tail out of the very corner of my eye, catching just the briefest of glimpses as the impressive creatures galloped light-footed through some distant glade, There is one in this picture for sure, can you see it?

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Wait, you aren’t quite convinced. Sigh. Well, I’m ahead of you. I accept you may demand more physical proof. Well, dear reader, I have it!Not me to be fair, but the high vis hero who was on finish tokens duty at the parkrun today. It seems one of her duties as a volunteer is to clear the finish funnel of unicorn scat. It’s basic health and safety, as even if it lands ins attractively rainbow coloured droppings, it is still a potential slip hazard for sprinting parkrunners. If you don’t believe me, check out the volunteer grid. I think it’s recorded as ‘other’ on the roster and isn’t actually credited as ‘Unicorn Poop Scooper’ so an element of trust there I concede. Though it should be obvs, they have ‘Car Park Marshal’ after all, I guess it’s like the ‘Fluffy the Emu Wrangler’ role at Nambour parkrun Australia, a bit too niche to have as an option on the drop down menu for all events, but very real all the same.

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I think we can all agree that animal scat is a good indicator of animal populations in wildlife surveys, so why not believe the evidence of your eyes and check out the massive pile of unicorn poo that the volunteer collected. So much, that she was able to fashion it into an improvised stool (pun intended) so she could carry out her role seated and take home the bounty to put on her roses later. If you think ordinary horse manure is good for roses you should see the impact of unicorn droppings. It makes your roses rainbow coloured with glitter tipped petals, and they smell just divine. Take a bucket and some rubber gloves with you next time you are in the forest and you too might get lucky. Food for thought, I’m sure you’ll agree. Our finish token giver outer was a tad optimistic about the quantities unicorns produce though, she was never going to fill that whole bag for life to be fair, but fair play to her for her optimistic outlook, always a joy to behold. I wasn’t sure whether or not to tell her she’d smeared a bit of unicorn poo on her leggings though, I decided against, I mean she probably knew already, and if she didn’t well, why make her feel all self conscious about something she could do nothing about? Precisely.

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Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. It’s just that I was very excited about the unicorns, and if you take nothing else away from this account of Salcey Forest, remember that. Remember it, but also, don’t tell too many people, don’t want them getting spooked needlessly.

As my regular reader, you will know I always agonise over where to go for my parkrun fix. Needing places I can reach from Sheffield and that are parkwalker friendly, with nearby parking to limit how far I have to walk in addition to the completing the 5k. This week though, I was spared endless angst and indecision because the event choice was obvious. My EWFM and now parkrunner friend too had confirmed that she would confirmed by all to be an absolute cow by the end of her parkrun today and who would want to miss that? She’d chosen Salcey Forest parkrun as it is reachable for parkrunning friends coming down from oop norf or up from darn sarf. I would come from Sheffield, she would come from Londonshire, we could meet sort of in the middle. Fortunately, looking at the official Salcey Forest parkrun website blah de blah it did seem to also be a parkrun with all the things. Parking, cafe, forest etc.

The course is excitingly all one lap too:

Course Description – The course consists of one lap in a clockwise direction on a mixture of gravel and trail through the forest. The start and finish are close to the main car park, café and toilets. Trail shoes are advised during winter months or after periods of rain. Due to the terrain the course is only suitable for purpose built running buggies.

Facilities – Early bird parking (between 8am-11am) costs £3.

and it looks like this:

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So easy to remember as it looks a bit like, a bit like…. actually, I have no idea what it looks like. The wrong trousers half heartedly drawn as in Wallace and Gromit? Does that help at all? Or the tail end of a cut in half mermaid, washed up on a beach and partially decomposed? Possibly not, but the thing is there are lots of smiling marshals and where marshals fear to tread there are lots of cones so no worries.

Oh actually, I think it’s worth giving some blah de blah from the Salcey Forest official website too. There’s loads to do there, and this write up won’t do even the parkrun justice, let alone the whole Forest.

‘Located only 7 miles from the centre of Northampton, Salcey Forest is an oasis of nature and history, This magnificent woodland has many miles of ancient wood banks, building remains and ancient trees. The ‘druids’, or veteran oaks, are rare and amazing wildlife habitats, and some of the old oaks are over 600 years old. See what you can spot on your visit to the medieval royal hunting forest. We’ve got endless walking trails, a family cycling trail, adventure play area and even an onsite café selling tasty homemade meals and cakes in a warm, friendly environment.]

You need to go and explore for yourself really, look out for Zog trails too. Unicorns and speedy parkruns aren’t the only things flying around Salcey Forest of a Saturday morning you’ll find.

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What’s that. You are worried about me calling my friend a complete cow? But she was going to be, she now is! It’s true! She is definitively a complete cow now and she is owning it. The thing is, some parkrunners like to get out and about and visit different parkrun venues. It’s a great way to meet up with parkrunning buddies you’ve acquired on line over the years and also to see parts of the country you might never otherwise visit. Welcome to the parallel universe that is parkrun tourism. It was years before I twigged that this was a thing and fun too. My EWFM has been a faster learner than I, embracing parkrun tourism from the off. So it is today was the occasion of her fiftieth different parkrun venue. I know, exciting! The first parkrunner to complete 100 distinct parkrun venues was somebody by the name of Cowell, so to complete one hundred different parkruns is to complete your Cowell. To complete fifty, i.e. half of them – are you getting this now – is to complete the Cow. See what they’ve done there. I know, clever. So it was, should my parkrunning buddy moove round the course as plan she’d be a confirmed cow at the end of it. This, naturally enough, was a cause for celebration. Cup cakes would be lovingly baked and brought; companions would be in attendance, many would gather. Hurrah!

There was some pre event angst, as in the lead up to the event it was looking low on volunteers. Many parkruns have seemed to struggle to get enough high vis heroes for their events post pandemic. It’s hard not to find this dispiriting at times. A fair few have had to cancel, or gone ahead and faced grumbling from participants when things don’t go smoothly because they are too short of help to have everything run smoothly. Case in point Cardiff parkrun last week which someone attended and then complained because the finish funnel was disorganised, when the poor team at Cardiff had been begging for volunteers all week, considered cancelling, then gamely went ahead with very limited help only to get grief from a parktouristing visitor. Not a good look. It’s easy to see why the most dedicated of core team volunteers end up getting burnt out. Anyway, a gracious call for more help went out. Nice work on their social media channels I think we can all agree

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As a fair few of us wanted to make sure the bovine transfiguration came to pass satisfactorily, it meant a number of us would be gracing the forest. Word went round and hands went up, various people messaged in to offer their services. This included the parents of a parkrunning friend who resides in Germany. Producer of the legendary entertainment that is the Quarantine Quiz. A bilingual quiz for and by parkrunners, compered by fancy dress sporting and 3d printing genius it is worth a watch. Grew out of the pandemic and endures. The questions have nothing whatsoever to do with parkrun, but are posed by parkrunners, often from parkrun destinations, check it out. Like and subscribe etc. The producer’s mum and dad reside in Northampton, but a stone’s throw(ish) from this parkrun and they too would come along. One to complete the parkrun and one to volunteer, hurrah! The rota looked a lot healthier, it would be cow a go go. Which is good in this context. New experiences for some, possibly for us all, as I think the whole cow herd were newbies to the venue. How exciting!

I lay awake all night largely due to usual insomnia, but also pimped up by worrying about over sleeping and a dash of being excited about how the day would unfold. When the alarm went off at stupid o’clock I was already wide awake, and had been listening to an increasingly rowdy dawn chorus through my open bedroom window for some time. Up and out before I had a chance to overthink the small hours issue. It was promising to be a bright sunshiney day, but with some early morning fog on the way down, that soon burnt away. The drive from Sheffield was over long, but straightforward. One diversion and had to pass one horrific looking accident on the motorway going down to Northampton. The sort that makes you shudder to behold.

I arrived in good time, and the venue is easy to find being well sign posted. I parked up near the cafe and visitors’ centre area but in fact you can park a bit closer to the start if you arrive fractionally later and have the car park marshal in situ to wave you on. It makes little odds though, either way. I was confused by the parking metres. The first one I approached was coins only, then if you go round the block there was one that took cards. A further machine at the car park nearest the start required you to download a parking app WHICH IS REALLY ANNOYING, though you can also pay by phoning I think. It’s just three pounds for Saturday morning early bird, which is fair enough, and takes you to 11, which allows for a certain amount of post parkrun faffing but possibly not enough for all. The other big win, is lots of loos for the mandatory for me precautionary pee. I was especially grateful for this after the long drive. Apart from the fact that I wasn’t clever enough to operate the taps – but nor was the other woman availing herself of the facilities to be fair – it was in good order. Spoiler alert, we worked it out between us, but I still think the water pressure wasn’t reaching all the sinks. Leave enough time to fathom the plumbing before hand is my advice, otherwise you might be waving your hand in entirely the wrong dimension.

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Parked up, I asked the kindly marshal for directions to the start, which she patiently gave. As I glanced in the direction she was pointing in I could see a sea of parkrun pink, and all was well with the world. I ambled towards the parkrun posse, passed the ‘caution runners’ signs and through the metaphorical looking glass into the parallel parkrun universe for a morning of forest bathing, cakery and chootling (chatting and pootling) what’s not to like?

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One of our number was to be parkwalking, but alas, had woken practically blinded by an insect bite overnight. Disaster! I had brought jam jars all the way from Sheffield to pass on to her! Oh, and it looked both spectacular and agonising. Have you ever seen any of those reality TV shows about botched cosmetic surgery? It was the before correction picture, not gonna lie. Anyway, I went to ask the RD if anyone was needed given she couldn’t come and I’d be walking anyway. Actually, someone else had already volunteered to fill the breach, but I could too, albeit the blue high vis – which everyone knows is the most flattering of the options available – had already been bagsied, so I’d have to improvise with the pink. No great hardship there, in fact a win, as in honesty I am the slowest participant anyway, so ended up flying the walking flag by valiantly walking and talking – twalking – round with my EWFM cow bestie, but hey, making walking visible at parkrun is still a desirable outcome isn’t it, so all the yays,.

High vis donned, there was the important work of pre parkrun photo taking. It has to be done. Here are some (of many) offerings, have you spotted the nearly a complete cow participant yet. It’s like looking for unicorns in the ancient forests, you think it will be impossible, but once you get your eye in, there’s no mistaking it. We were in for a devil of a time!

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Once we’d done all our meeting and greeting, and round one of our photo taking, a call went up for the first timers’ welcome. A tourist was undertaking this role too. I was a bit dubious about how easy this would be for a tourist, but turns out, she has completed the course previously, and is also a hugely experienced volunteer so of course it was a splendid welcome and intro. The route is apparently basically left, right, right, left, right again, left right etc. …. or, just keep faith in the marshals! They are at every single turn point bar one, where there is an embarrassment of riches cones wise so really no getting lost unless you charge ever onward pushing marshals aside in your hurry to pb. It was a jolly mood. There were milestones and tourists – including from Cardiff actually, now I come to think of it, and a pleasing scattering of first time everers. An attentive semi circle of new to Salcey Forest tourists listened and then moved aside so the first time everers, of whom I think there were 8, could have a separate intro to how it all worked.

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It was a tight ship, and as soon as the first timers’ had been satisfactorily briefed and welcomed, it was time for the Run Director’s briefing. Again, this was very positive, and very thorough. Tourists were welcomed. The wannabee cow was identified for their very own round of applause, milestone runners and volunteers were acknowledged and applauded. The RDs canine companion was an enthusiastic participant and so was led away to be less distracting, were they made their disappointment evident. Being separated from your companion human is a tough call it seems.

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As the path can be a bit narrow (actually it’s a great width) the RD called people forward to make their way down to the start in order of expected times. Pleasingly, those of us expected to complete in over 35 minutes were referred to as ‘the elite runners’. We elites liked this a lot.

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So parkrunners ready, timers ready, and then awf we went, the finish team watching us disappear down the arch of trees into the land of moss and stone and unicorn and ancient oaks. The timers moving back to the finish funnel area as we departed on our 5k romp round the trails.

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Actually, that photo might have been towards the end of the parkrun with parkrunners returning triumphant, but a bit of artistic licence between parkrunning friends is allowable I’m sure. Awf we went. I slotted in at the back with my nearly a cow companion. It’s nice having a cow to walk alongside, they are soothing to be around. No wonder Jack had such a hard time parting with his cow. Personally, I wouldn’t have sold my cow for any number of beans, not even magic ones. A cow is for life not just for Christmas.

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As it is a one lap course, and me and the nearly cow were mooving slowly at a walk, very quickly the other parkrunners streamed ahead out of sight. You literally don’t see them again, well not until after you’ve finished, I don’t mean they were abducted by aliens and transported to a parallel universe as soon as they got round the first corner, that would be silly. Rather, they did their thing and we did ours. Some even managed en route selfies, hurrah!

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It was an astonishing walk. The forest is truly breathtaking, and although at intervals there were cheery marshals to point us on our way, there seemed to be no-one else about at all. A distant dog walker maybe – the aforementioned unicorns, obvs, but basically we had this wonderland all to ourselves. We were pretty much right at the back, with just the tailwalker behind sweeping the course. He was collecting cones and things as other marshals stood down, including I imagine, winding up bunting, and was a little distance behind. This meant we walked and talked at our own pace, and got to really appreciate our surroundings. Never having been before, I can only assume the forest is always this lovely, with sunshine and every variation on green in the colour spectrum you can possibly imagine and then some more. It smelt nice too. So did my cowmpanion, only she said it can’t have been her smelling all that fragrant in truth, so it must have been her laundry detergent. I do really, really like the smell of freshly washed, air dried laundry. Right up there with coffee and toast in the morning.

Here are some of the friendly marshals who nailed the directional pointing, photogenic posing and generic cheeriness on the way round. It was a good day for standing in a pool of forest sunshine. There would have been quite a gap between us and the last of the parkrunners, but I choose to think waiting for us would have been an opportunity for quiet meditation and listening out for all the sounds of the forest. An exercise in mindfulness.

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And here are some of the many sights we saw or passed en route.

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It was very, very hard to exercise the necessary self discipline to stay on track, with so many intriguing possibilities luring us away. We may have experimented with the see saw to see if it would see saw. It did! Quite spectacularly. I was quite relieved I’d delegated the testing responsibilities to my more able bodied cowmpanion. She aced it. Could maybe have done a bit more of triumphant arms flung outwards on the dismount, but no face planting or obvious injury, so definitely an 8 at least. Well done.

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Twalking is most therapeutic, meditative even. Consequently we were caught unawares when the finish funnel ‘suddenly’ appeared. Fortunately, the team were on high alert in cheery readiness for us. Triumphant we entered the funnel, clicked in, hurrah!

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Shot out of the funnel, we were scanned, and then there was the important business of the cake. I did tell you, cakes had been baked and bought, and the master baker had kept them all safely til the cow came home, so she could break open the Tupperware and dispense her offerings with smiles. They were vegan cakes, cow coloured (well sort of, cows come in many colours after all) and some were gluten free and others presumably had extra gluten. All dietary needs catered for. Happy smiles in abundance as the offerings were passed around. Hurrah!

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Assisted by the sugar high, the business of uploading scan files, gathering up tokens to be sorted and taking down of the funnel was soon underway.

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Crucially though, we managed to pose for the mandatory group shot with the selfie frame before it was also packed away.

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Next stop was the cafe, but en route we passed the most brilliant sign of a load of children sitting on a log, eating cake. I was keen to do a group reconstruction, as we had some parkrunners who would have been an absolute shoo in for some of those casting opportunities. Next time maybe, today, the pull of the prospect of coffee was too strong.

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We left the regulars doing their final tidying up – we did offer to help, but they had it nailed without us, and you know what, it’s not really helping unless you are actually being helpful, too many cooks and all that. We called our thanks though, and they looked happy in their labours. Not just happy to wave us off I think. There had been cake after all. parkrun was always about the cake wasn’t it. Oh no, wait, coffee, always about the coffee. Same thing though really.

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We arrived at the coffee, via a little celebratory outdoor cake moment. The cafe very kindly allowed us to take our cakes inside – we did buy toasties various and drinks and things. Point of information, the only downside of this whole morning, but has to be declared because of the mismatch between expectations generated by the general ambience of the place, presentation of hot beverages and the crushing reality of what was served up, this parkrun venue had quite possibly the worst coffee I’ve ever had at a parkrun apart from at Doncaster parkrun At Doncaster I actually left the coffee undrunk, the coffee here I did consume, but it got nastier with every mouthful. Shame, as the cafe was ace for customer service, cleanliness etc, and vegan options. Bit limited for breakfast choices but fundamentally fine. I digress, we need more pictures, here is the outsidey part:

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Do you like the card with the cow on it? I bought it specially moo-ns ago (see what I did there? Quite proud of that one), in anticipation of just this occasion, very proud of it. Also, quite relieved, as when the time finally came to use it, I thought I’d lost it, there was much late night rummaging I don’t mind admitting!

Then into the cafe, where two of our number had volunteered for token sorting. One token at least had gone awol 86 from memory, but what was really odd, was that the spare number 86 was also missing, and the spare for the spare, and the spare for that one too. How bizarre. A repeat offender? Some secret society’s initiation ceremony, sacred to unicorns or Zog? We may never know. I must google ‘what is so great about the number 86’ to see if I can find out why… ok, I have, it’s associated with all your problems vanishing, which is clearly nonsense, as it’s a big problem for event teams if token magpies are present at an event. Also, weirdly, I’ve not come across this phenomenon before anywhere else. Strange, but true!

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The Freyne Club? That’s for 250 different venues. I know, very impressive. I got to join in on venue number 249 at Millhouses parkrun. There’s a story about that – another time maybe…

And then that was that. I would have stayed a bit longer, but suddenly discovered it isn’t three hours parking on a Saturday morning it’s until 11 a.m. and at 10.59 a.m. I realised if I lingered I’d turn into a pumpkin or something, also needed to get back really, guests checking out and always wise to be home to safety before my leg starts operating either independently or not at all. It has a (deranged) mind of its own at times. Still, one should always leave one’s audience wanting more, isn’t that the saying? Salcey Forest has certainly achieved that, definitely one of my favourites. I’ve loved all the forest parkruns I’ve done, there is something calming about them, particularly the more established ones, you get some sense of perspective perhaps, trees can live for centuries, things that seem to matter right now maybe really don’t in the grand scheme of things.

And so I waved goodbye and wended my way home.

Thanks Salcey Forest parkrun, you were fab. Oh, and if you dear reader want their official event report for triangulation purposes, you will find it on their Facebook page here:

And parkrunner twalking buddy, well done for being such a cow. You did yourself proud!

Same again next week somewhere?

In the meantime, if you want to prolong your parkrun fix, you could always browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.

Hope you find a forest of your own to bathe in sometime soon. Catch them while you can. Not sure they have as many years left in the future as they have stood for in the past. Maybe if you find a particularly nice tree, take the time to give it an appreciative hug. It will make you feel all nice and warm and squidgy inside. Bits of bark might get down your top and be a bit itchy, and you could end up with some leaf litter in your shoes, but it’s fundamentally grounding, give it a try. Thank me later. You’re welcome.

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PS did I mention the extra fluffy dog? Amazing! A quarter spaniel, three quarters yeti. Nice.

Iconic Irchester Country parkrun with Coronation Colours

Well, that really was a spectacle of splendour, opulence, pageantry and glory if ever I saw one. Irchester Country parkrun really is a pretty stunning venue and the event team literally get the flags out to welcome arrivals at their parkrun party week in week out. It was a bit of a trek for me from Sheffield, though granted it was probably speedier and more practical to travel in an 2007 toyota yaris than a Diamond Jubilee State Coach from circa 2012 or indeed the Gold State Coach from 1760, and I fancy my maintenance charges are considerably more manageable, though I suppose if the taxpayer pays for everything that’s less of a consideration.

Why Irchester? Why I? Or Wye aye even?

Well, it was a last minute thing to be honest. I’d read the previous week’s rather excellent write up for event number 110 and it made it sound really fantastic, with bluebell possibilities. It has been on my radar for a little while. Another parkrun beginning with the letter ‘I’ is always a win (second alphabet completion from the original Running Challenges badges AND an Old MacDonald completion from the 5k app). Oh, and it is a Nelson number too, albeit one I already have. It is a long way from Sheffield but the main pull for this weekend in particular, was that as I was browsing through possibilities I came across this post, declaring a ‘walk with Karen‘ parkrun, which they do on the first Saturday of every month, to try to encourage people to come and walk the course. This is an initiative close to my heart. I’m desperate as a walker to find events where I feel genuinely welcome and a large part of that is finding I’m one of many other parkwalkers. Also (shhh, not official yet) I’m in discussion with a local event about how to make their parkrun more walker friendly, so it would be good to see how they do things at Irchester. I was a bit worried about the length of the drive, driving seems to cripple me more than anything, and general fatigue. In the event, I was awake and blinking in the small hours anyway, so decided to go for it on the morning.

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It was a long but quietish drive. I think the secret to doing long parkrun tourist trips is to pick national holidays or special events to undertake them as I can only assume many were staying home to bake their coronation quiches and fine tune their bunting before firing up the tv and settling down for the duration. It was a mild day, but humid and I drove towards rain.

Right, before I go on, let’s get the official blah de blah out of the way. According to the Irchester Country parkrun website:

The course is at Irchester Country Park, Wellingborough. The course is run entirely on trail paths.

Course Description
The Irchester Country parkrun course is run on well surfaced trails through diverse woodland that reveal elements of the park’s ironstone quarrying history as well as its Jurassic limestone geology.

The course follows an out-and-back route with a 1km loop in the middle. Starting outside the railway museum, it finishes on the Royal Meadow close to the café. Please stay to the left-hand side of the path at all times, and follow the marshals’ directions. Take care when approaching the finish line, as the meadow has uneven ground with some molehills and rabbit burrows.

Facilities
Toilets are located in a block adjacent to the café. Irchester Country Park has an adventure course with zip lines, a children’s play area, and a diverse network of trails in a 200-acre area of woodland.

and it looks like this:

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Lovely. Look at all those trees! A forest bathing opportunity as well as a Nelson, an I, a parkrun, a welcome to parkwalkers and bunting too. What’s not to like? The map diagram reminds me of a caterpillar, the loop is its head, and then it’s body is sort of undulating behind, as caterpillar bodies too. You have read The Very Hungry Caterpillar right? Good. Well in that case you’ll know exactly what I mean. Do you see it too.

It was pretty straightforward to find the country park, though with the benefit of hindsight I can cast a few pearls of wisdom your way. I parked at the top car park, the first one I came too. In fact if you are early, you can drive on down to another car park a lot nearer the start. It’s not too far to walk to be fair, even for me, but might be a consideration if you had mobility issues or stuff to carry. The other thing was I really struggled with the car park machine. I don’t begrudge paying, but I do begrudge the faff of incomprehensible instructions on the machine. It took me several abortive attempts, and then I stood aside for someone else to have a go. They were able to fathom it – albeit not immediately – and the supervised my doing so afterwards. Car park marshals in high vis appeared shortly after I’d parked possibly to shoo people down to the other parking areas. The machine was a complete pain, and in fact the start was delayed because people were still queuing to pay because presumably everyone using it for the first time also had several attempts before nailing it. Oh well.

Paid up, I pootled down towards the main visitors centre. Already I was feeling ‘ooh, well this is rather lovely’, mainly because it is. Trees and exciting little pathways entice you into the woods, but in a nice, warm fuzzy feeling way, not in a being lured to your death by an axe murderer sort of vibe. You can see the buildings of the visitors hub, with loos etc from a distance, hurrah! The loos are worthy of a mention in their own right. Grand that they were not only open but clean. There were some very specific rules regarding trainer pants though. I didn’t know trainers had pants as an optional extra. Every day a school day it seems. Again, I appreciated the attention to detail re kite flying as well, those high voltage power lines can be real killjoys. I did a parachute jump decades ago, and one of the safety things they really hammered home was around ‘what to do if you land entangled in high voltage electricity cables’ basically shoo anyone who comes to help away. Don’t let anyone near you or it will end badly. I think you are ok once the fire brigade arrive, but just say no to any have a go heroes. They also covered ‘what to do if you land on a moving vehicle’ and ‘what to do if you land in water’. It was all quite off putting, but it must have been a really good training course as I remember it all. Anyway, the point is, that Irchester Country Park is clearly actually rather fabulous, with loads of facilities as well as fun activities, of which parkrun is clearly the most fun of all.

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In face Wikipedia pleasingly makes an explicit mention of parkrun in its blah de blah about Irchester – look!

Country park

The village has a large country park managed by Northamptonshire County Council,[37] created after local open-cast ironstone quarries were allowed to revert to the wild, having been worked out some decades after the war. The removal of the ironstone and some limestone that overlaid it has lowered the land around the working face by several metres, though this is not apparent except near the vehicle entrance. The park has an unusual ridge-and-furrow topography with several metres’ relief, marking the movement patterns of the machines that stripped the overburden to expose the ironstone. The park offers maturing woodlands (planted about 1965) and grassy meadows with surrounding trails. There is also a children’s play area and a café.

Irchester Narrow Gauge Railway Museum in the country park shows working steam and diesel locomotives among more than 40 items of rolling stock. A 250-metre demonstration track can be seen.[38]

Since November 2019, Irchester Country Park has hosted a free, weekly parkrun timed 5-km run/walk, every Saturday morning at 9 a.m.[39]

This, it seems, is yet another venue that I left wanting to come back to see more next time, though it is a loooong way for me, so not sure that’s exactly on the cards. Do as I say, not as I do, and do yourself a favour and allow more time to explore post parkrun, it won’t disappoint. On the subject of ‘I do’ did I mention that one of those attending today was doing a pre wedding parkrun. His own wedding! Hurrah. Most thoughtful to involve the whole parkrun community in his big day.

As I descended from the car park and the buildings came into sight, you could see the volunteers gathering in the carpark area. Some early bird on course set up had already put a sign up directing new arrivals to the start area which was a hundred metres or so on from the car park. I followed a volunteer down to the starting area, which was also the finish funnel. Oh no wait, you go past the finish funnel in fact and down to where the pop up sign is, not miles away but a few hundred metres from where you’ve parked so you need to allow a little time for that to be fair. I was quite taken by all the fallen seed heads and blossom that gave a white hue to the sides of the paths, like a dusting of snow or a deep late frost, most picturesque. Check out how lush everything looks too, rain may be wet and all, but it is jolly good for greening everything up, the Country Park was looking fabulous. This is a venue that would also most definitely reward coming back at different times of year and different times of day, I bet every day you come you’d notice something changed or new.

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Also picturesque was the finish funnel decked with joyful bunting, and a table groaning under the weight of coronation themed cupcakes.

On the subject of big days, yes we were, earlier on, keep up, you might have clocked that today was also coronation day for King Charles III. I’m not a fan of the monarchy to be honest, but credit where credit is due, the royal family was much in evidence at todays parkrun. Both King and Queen put in a stint of volunteering at Irchester Country parkrun this morning before rocking up for the coronation later on, that must have been cutting it fine. Almost as fine as the parkrunner who was attending today pre their wedding this afternoon, finding time to write the run report at some point as well. Sometimes it really hits home just how much of an underachiever I am. Still, I can make other feel all the more productive and glorious by comparison. Also, it’s not helpful to compare your situation to others, it only leads to bitterness, self-pity and existential angst. Or is that just me. In any event, the royals were in full on Santa territory, taking in pretty much every parkrun across the kingdom in one short morning, and still making it to the church on time. Look if you don’t believe me! Granted, there are fair few minor royals I don’t recognise, but enough pomp and paraphernalia to make me confident they were carriage bound for the Abbey straight after they’d been scanned and returned their barcodes as is the parkrun way. And as all parkruns take place at the same time on a Saturday, they may even have been channeling their inner Hermione Granger Time Turner skills, not to be confused with Tina Turner skills. Mind you, that might have been beyond fabulous at Westminster Abbey don’t you think – a bit of ad hoc TT inspired karaoke would most definitely have livened things up. What do you reckon – ‘(simply) The Best’ or maybe ‘We don’t need another hero’ possibilities are near endless. Oh what might have been. Anyway, check out the pics and the tributes too. This is just a shameless way to shoo in photos of other parkruns into this post and capture them for posterity. Would be shame if all that effort was to just fade away.

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Anyways, those were other parkruns, doing their admirable thing whilst I was at the main event at Irchester. I made my way to the start area, and despite being somewhat curmudgeonly about the whole coronation thing, I am at heart more of a joiner in and I will concede that watching people arrive in red, white and blue, or besporting flags was exceedingly jolly. The morning did have the air of expectant celebration. People were in a good mood and it would have been mean spirited not to go with the swing so to speak. I did my paparazzi impression pointing and pushing and taking random photos. I am loving my new phone and its camera, even if I am not quite sure how to use all its many impressive features.

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Whilst I was faffing, a regular at the parkrun filled me in on its finer features which was welcoming. I’d given myself away as a first timer by my desire to photograph anything and everything as a way of locking every moment of it into my memory. After a bt though, I was called away to the first timers’ welcome. This was a jolly affair. Quite interactive. Hands up if you’ve come for an ‘I’; ‘hands up if you’ve come for a Nelson’. Everyone pretty much called out where they were from, there was a scattering of first time everers which was good to see, though I fear that starting on such a high will make future parkruns have to work hard to maintain momentum! Someone had a birthday and the first timers spontaneously sang a rousing chorus of ‘happy birthday’ which was delightful as well as mostly tuneful. People had milestones and some donned tabards or shirts accordingly. It was all very friendly, delivered with confidence and clarity. In response to ‘how flat’ we were informed that compared to Norfolk no, compared to Woolacomb dunes probably yes. It was most good natured. And who doesn’t like a sing-a-long at a parkrun? We were warming up nicely.

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A little later, we were gathered to start and for the Run Director’s Briefing. King Charles himself took on the role this morning and did pretty well really. There was an address system, lots of communications between car park marshals and the RD. People were still queuing to get into the carpark and to pay so there was a short delay. The briefing alerted us to milestones, thanked the volunteers, pointed out the Karen we could all walk with, let us know about the person getting married today who would also find time to write the run report. We were told of cakes at the finish, I think there was a group doing some sponsored thing or a running group of some sort but I got confused and distracted by all the bunting and flaggery so I’m not honestly sure. I am sure the tail walker had an actual tail, I always appreciate this. Seemingly a dinosaur tail, I’m not sure if they brought it with them, or got lucky exploring the dinosaur trail in the park first thing. Sometimes it’s tactful just not to ask isn’t it.

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The RD waited as long as she/they possibly could, but eventually the shout for awf went up and off everyone went. It was a chaotic but courteous start. Regulars were in position at the front, but others spread widely across the ground, narrowing to join the path and string out ahead. Onwards, past the finish funnel, a dog leg by the visitors centre and suddenly you were in the park proper with gorgeous mature trees towering overhead. Lovely!

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Also hugely refreshing and lovely about this event was the number of walkers. A proper army of people walking. There weren’t people in the blue parkwalker bibs as such for some reason, but in addition to a couple of tailwarkers there was a posse of volunteers sporting the pink high vis who were clearly walking. I don’t know why I came over all shy but I did, and therefore didn’t particularly join the walkers which was a shame as I’d have loved to learn more about how their walking initiative was going. Inevitably, with me getting progressively slower because, well you know dear reader, this body of mine letting me down – and taking photos as I tried to rebalance for the upward flat sections I ended up on my own in the twilight zone between the parkwalkers ahead and the tailwalkers behind. This was my choice, I was quite enjoying the solitude and greenery and didn’t feel like being social.

There is so much to see on this course too! As well as the cheery and astonishingly attractive marshals at intervals, there are all sorts of discoveries to be made on and adjacent to the trails. From the wooden troll figures to the super-sized ants. I’m all for encouraging wildlife, and indeed, have recently been occupied with constructing a bee bank for solitary bees in my very own back garden, but not gonna lie, if these moved in my back garden I might not call pest control but I’d definitely be closing my curtains and keeping the lights off in order to avoid drawing any attention to myself. Impressive though aren’t they. Impressive, but not law abiding, they are clearly ignoring the ‘do not climb’ signage, or maybe they can’t read? Or maybe they can read it’s just that English isn’t their first language? Whatever. You’ll find them shortly after you enter the woods, peel off to the left, and then there they are, you can’t really miss them to be fair, unless you are running so hard and fast sweat from your forehead has streamed into your eyes, stinging them and causing temporary blindness. If this is the case, next time wear an attractive towel sweat band, or better yet, a parkrun buff, and then you’ll be able to spot them. It would be well worth the investment, pus those parkrun buffs are fab. That’s why I was wearing one, even though it was a bit hot and sweaty doing so. parkrun call them snoods. How odd, must be like hoovers and vacuum cleaners I suppose… Mind you ‘buff’ is a stupid word as well really. ‘Running in the buff’ jokes wear thin pretty quickly, but still worth a shot now and again I suppose…

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The shape of the course means that you return on the section you head out on. It logically follows that the back of the packers will meet the fast (but hopefully not furious) parkrunners heading back as they head out. I quite liked this. The track is pretty wide so you aren’t likely to crash into one another on the contraflow section, and there are signs and marshals to remind you to keep left and to even point in a lefterly direction if you are struggling with your lefts and right. It was quite social, and lovely to see cheery runners flying past on their way back. Hurrah! Don’t they look jolly! Spoiler alert, that’s because they were!

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I particularly appreciated the parkrunner(s) who did aeroplane arms going round the corners. I’m a huge advocate of this at junior parkrun, where I try to encourage participants to execute these aerial assisted manoeuvres on the down hill sections as it is a FACT (a Lucy Fact granted, but a fact all the same) that shouting ‘wheeeeeeeeeeeeee’ and sticking your arms out like aeroplane wings when you run down hill makes you go way faster as well as hugely amusing the marshals. It was beyond heartening to see this FACT being applied to parkrunners cornering uphill, positively innovative. I bet the guy in the photo got a new PB, he deserved one at least.

The outward bit eventually ends and you are directed on to the loop which involves pretty much a right hand turn. Then it becomes quieter, because by this time I was way at the back and couldn’t really see any other participants, a glimpse of walkers through trees ahead and the tailwalkers behind but no more approaching parkrunners to cheer on. This was a more contemplative section for me. I appreciated the trees a lot. There was a lack of bluebells, I’d been expecting loads, but was either too late or too early, there are plenty around, just not yet in flower for the most part. There was lots of animal habitat, and curiosities too. A viewing point for the original quarry workings and a sort of overground/underground station that might have been for the railway or possibly zip wires, I didn’t have adequate time to explore.

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Loop looped, I was falling further and further back. Marshals stood down shortly after I passed, and started to swell the numbers of the back escort, carrying assorted cones and signage and coronation paraphernalia back to the start. I was heading back along the outward track, past elaborate root systems, under calming forest branches, back to the wooden carving and enormous ants, past marshals still in situ where I’d passed them on the way out. Eventually I was back with just 200 metres to go, the finish in sight!

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And then a little beyond, the finish funnel in all its glory, still fully flanked by a guard of honour.

Just behind we were the tail walkers and a parkrunner with a dog who was very excited at the coming back shenanigans and bounced around with considerable energy albeit misdirection as her accompanying human hilariously tried to steer her across the finish line. It mattered not. It is important to let everyone appreciate and participate in parkrun in their own way after all. Go Tild! Go random royal coming in behind. I get them mixed up, William I think. Because he isn’t sporting a beard, but I’m surprised to see him with so much hair? Mind you, people do always look a bit different in real life than they do on the telly I find.

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So all in all quite a lot to celebrate this weekend, weddings and walkers and milestones and birthdays. Excitingly though, it was also this weekend where the number of members of the parkrun 500 club tipped over 500. That’s such an amazing achievement. I remember seeing people in 50 milestone t-shirts when I just started at parkrun and that seemed extraordinary enough, and yet how the milestones grow. What really blows my mind is the junior parkrunners who have grown up with parkrun, assuming parkrun achieves its goal of being free, for everyone, forever, I wonder what milestone numbers parkrunners may reach in the future. Some run directors, event directors and volunteers are so committed to parkrun that I am confident even as worlds come and go, their ghostly presence will still be seen from space, placing cones around 5k routes that once were there, and cheering and clapping as best as a formless presence can, their calls of ‘well done’ and ‘nearly there’ echoing through space and travelling ever outwards to infinity and beyond, their shouts travelling with the ever expanding universe to new galaxies far far away. Probably. Point is, one day there will be a thousand members of the one thousand milestone club for sure. I wonder what colour that top will be. Teal is very much of the moment – oooh how about doing some fancy Anne Bolyen milestone headbands to go with them only with the parkrun logo rather than the poundland one. Go on Google it, once seen, it cannot be unseen. You know what, I’m going to spare you the trouble, hang on …

I still loved the look though. I’d totally wear a cape and a hat like that if I got the opportunity. A thousand parkrun milestone would be as good a reason as any. That sword was seriously heavy though by the way, and the crowns that King and Queen were sporting. A lot of media coverage banged on about how hard it must be carrying a 2kg diamond embedded crown around all morning, but Penny was carrying a sword that weighed a mahoosive 3.6 kg , and to be fair, that would be tough holding at that angle for so long, but I’m not giving away too much of a spoiler if i say I regularly carry around way more than a 4kg excess with me at all times and I don’t get anyone massaging vegan oils into my chest and giving me a fly by at the weekend. However, pity me not dear reader, since I did however get a cheer through the parkrun finish funnel at Irchester Country parkrun which is worth way more. Priceless in fact.

parkrun finished, I did a bit more floating about and photo shooting. Including a quick foray to get a snap of a little clump of bluebells in a nod to the flower I’d hoped to see in a great blue sea across the forest floor. They must be beyond spectacular when they do bloom. People were socialising round the cake table, or availing themselves of the now open coffee place. It had a nice vibe.

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and that was that. I was too shy to broach the cake offerings, but there were still a great many left by the time I got back, always a boon. I said my thanks and farewell to the team and the RD. And I meant it. The thanks I mean, this really is the most amazing event. I think I find the forest parkruns especially calming. This was a lovely relaxed, supportive and enthusiastic parkrun, a parkrun fit for a King you might say, but more importantly, fit for anyone, it did feel chilled and inclusive and unhurried. I left the party in full swing for my journey home. Thank you Irchester Country parkrun I was happy and your parkrun was glorious. Hip hip, hooray!

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Oh, and for triangulation purposes, check out these official event reports from the day – in particular the bride and groom who shared their wedding day with the most splendid of parkruns, I hope Irchester didn’t entirely upstage their actual wedding, whatever, I’m sure they will have had a day to remember as well as an abundance of celebratory cakes. Yay for parkrun passionistas who share their big day with other parkrunners!

And if you want more you could always browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.

Til next time then, happy parkrunning, and hold out for a cape when we make it to a thousand parkruns. It’ll happen for some, for sure! If you have already been to Irchester Country parkrun you know how fab it is, if you haven’t, check it out, forest bathing, bunting and a friendly welcome. Lovely!

Thanks for sticking with me, appreciated.

🙂

From Tu tu to ta da! Sashaying round Sutcliffe parkrun #86

It is arbitrary I know, but three hundred. That’s loads of parkrunning around, even if latterly it’s been more of a solitary shuffle than an athletic sprint. Surely worth celebrating. I know it’s not an official milestone, no t-shirts, congratulatory telegrams or even cake, but even if not going down the lines of celebrating as such, marking with something memorable at least would surely be in order. No idea how many parkruns I have left in me, so good to lay down a marker at this point. I wondered initially about going with a theme like The 300 Spartans, but that’s probably been done before and maybe a bit low key for such a mighty achievement. Also, the whole ‘tonight we dine in hell‘ thing for the more recent version is somewhat off message for parkrun methinks. It’s supposed to be fun for all remember. Also, the spartan theme is somewhat male centric, I’m tired of that. I’ve been trying to get parkrun to look at the changing the listings for each individual parkruns’ top 500 fasted finishers to a top 500 percentage age grading instead. Or better yet ditch it altogether. I think it’s problematic just listing those parkrunners with the 500 fastest finish times for loads of reasons. Firstly, it goes against the whole ethos of it not being a race, secondly, fastest finish times miss the subtleties of differentiations by age and gender. This matters, because the longer a parkrun has been around for, and the more participants attend, the more women are erased from that listing. Because the average male can run faster than the average female, inevitably female participants are squeezed out. It might be unconscious gender bias, but it’s a neat little example of everyday sexism. For example, if you go to the listings for Bushy parkrun fastest 500 today, there are just 13 females listed in that tally of 500. Yet, the age graded record is apparently ‘Age graded record: Jane DAVIES – 100.23% 21:30 – Event 645 (24 Sep 2016)’ She doesn’t even get onto the fastest 500 list at all. That seems wrong. In addition, in a time when parkrun are aiming to be more inclusive for walkers and celebrating therefore slower average finish times, it’s a total distortion or at least misrepresentation of parkrun’s proclaimed values. I really don’t get it. And yes, I have raised it, every year for the past three years. It’s been acknowledged as anomaly, but yet it remains. It grates especially on international women’s day. I’m feeling especially hurrumphy about it at the moment. Nope, I can do better that having 300 spartan soldiers to mark the occasion of my 300th parkrun. No harm in having a little peek at the film posters again though, for old times sake. Yep, posters look very much like the gender composition of the 300 fastest finishers at Bushy parkrun, but with fewer visible milestone tees and rather more shield bearing and helmet sporting. I can do better than this. Though invincible flying wedges do sound sort of fun to hang about with if I’m completely transparent about my feelings on this front. Even more so if they were invisible, which is how I first read the poster. Oh well.

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I looked around at other celebratory rituals, and thought maybe something on the lines of the forthcoming Coronation Procession might be more appropriate, but closer scrutiny seems to suggest it’s the King what does the processing, and although he has a lovely carriage and a crown and everything, I thought maybe I’d rather other people did the processing past and I got to watch it all. I did like the dressing up ideas though, and the making a weekend of it. Obvs there’d need to be a parkrun involved. I had hoped to make it to Somerdale parkrun for their curly wurly, that would have been something extra memorable. However, that was just a drive to far, so reset. There must be something I could do…

I know! How about a spontaneous demonstration of adoration in the form of a procession of 48 thousand runners streaming by waving and so on. That would be grand. The backdrop of London would do, make it the Sunday, so time for people to travel down and get organised, and I’d stay with a friend and we could do a London parkrun the day before. Lovely, ’twas a plan! And as for dressing up, well, parkrunday was the twenty second, so that’s 22 which is two two, which is tu tu, presto, parkrun tu tu day, it’s a thing! Yay, loads of people would don tutus, it was but a short leap of the imagination to presume they would all be doing so for me, the parkrun world over. This is how to do it! Check out the event report for Neckarufer parkrun if you don’t believe me! Viele tutus indeed!

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Saturday tu tu parkrun, Sunday 48 thousand 599 people processing past, perfect way to make the weekend a memorable one, hurrah! But which parkrun to choose.

We were originally going to cavort round Catford parkrun, my parkrun buddy and London host being in search of seas for her seven Cs and an R parkrun Pirate Challenge (try saying it out loud). However, we had to set sail elsewhere as, turns out, this was cancelled due to Eid celebrations in Mountsfield park. Not to worry, plenty others to choose from. From Cats to Dogs. We considered Barking parkrun, but I’m a slow walker at the moment, and there were no parkwalkers on the volunteer roster for any week, so that raised a doubt about whether or not they would be welcoming to non runners. Our gaze went to Super Sutcliffe parkrun instead. Oh look, three tailwalkers and two parkwalkers, that looked more promising. A Sunny Sutcliffe Saunter for me it would be! Armed with tutus away we would go.

It was a short drive, lengthened only by having to stop to see if we were going the right way, we were. It turned out to be a fine choice of venue. Loaaaaads of parking, always a good start, and adjacent to an enormous leisure centre which meant there were actual loos. Bonus, their was a unisex queue for the four cubicles available for use, so this kept everything flowing so to speak, and there wasn’t that frustration of having a gazillion women queueing for their designated loos whilst men whizzed on through so to speak. Talking of keeping everything flowing, how about this for dedication to a cause:

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I know tu tu impressive!

Still, I’m jumping ahead, let’s take a moment to look at the official Sutcliffe parkrun website blah de blah:

The course is in Sutcliffe Park Nature Reserve, London

Three laps on a mixture of tarmac and gravel round the perimeter of the Nature Reserve. The start and finish are close to the entrance to the Sports Centre and the main car park.

ooooo kaaaaay, fairly minimalist description, though I’m liking the reference to a Nature Reserve. The route looks like this:

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A fairly bijoux park perhaps, but you can be small yet perfectly formed.

We arrived, we spotted the funnel and the cheery volunteers assembling. We paused for our obligatory tutu shot. Spotted the bucket slalom course and signage various. There was a very fine tree that was a bit of a focal point, not dissimilar to the Bushy parkrun tree, which apparently is not the tree on the parkrun logo as such, but may as well be. Trees are fabulous are they not? Handy too. Rhetorical question by the way, yes they are!

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The tree had a handy course map tied up to it. In a nod to nerds, they had embraced the technological innovation of the what3words app, and included this on their map. Guess what? Nope you won’t be able to guess, it’s too hard and also too brilliant, the what three words for this course appear to be three.identical.laps!!!!! I know what are the chances. Properly amazing!

Only not really though obvs. But for your edification and merriment, the actual location of ‘three.identical.laps’ is in fact

drum role

not in existence, the nearest approximation being tree.identical.labs, but I’ll take that. It is a three metre square that is so remote it is in the middle of unchartered territory in Western Australia, amusingly nearish (relatively speaking) to a place called jigalong, which I now wish to go visit. If you are into your Nelson numbers this might be a good destination to seek out. The registered population of this remote aboriginal community is apparently 333, approximately, or it was for the census in 2016. I suppose if you went you’d ruin the maths of it anyway, but quirky observation nevertheless. Little things as they say, I know, well it pleases me, and I’m celebrating.

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Anyway, we didn’t need to jigalong to Western Australia because we had already joggedalong to Sutcliffe park. And very fine it was looking too. I never tire of the new places parkrun takes me too, corners of the country I might never have otherwise had cause to visit. This was all tu tu exciting!

We indulged in a little pre parkrun pootling. Examining the tree – which seemed also to serve as a place to leave bags, and availing ourselves of the facilities. After a little while a shout went up for the first timers’ welcome, which was also to take place below the sheltering branches of the lovely tree. But, in a dramatic twist, no sooner had the clarion call for assembly gone up, and a high vis hero started to move towards the tree, a shout went up and another volunteer, with the hugest hound ever, sprang into view. For ’twas she who was to deliver the briefing, working most efficiently to ‘just in time’ principles. Soon an attentive and enthusiastic crowd of first timers surrounded her, including, impressively, some first time everers. A few claimed to have come for the London Marathon. I didn’t want to let on that I knew this was just a cover story for those who were to process past me the following day, but was happy to feign ignorance so they could maintain the illusion of it all being a huge surprise. I would need to stay up late tonight practising my waving, but I’m sure I’d nail it.

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A fine welcome it was too. The course was described in loving terms. Three times round the tree, turns out, those cones around it aren’t just to mark out the space, but also part of the course. A turn around point, that you go round three times, pretty much like Somerdale pavilion parkrun Curly Wurly after all! Hurrah! Oh and it’s a nature reserve so there may be ducks and things and there is absolutely definitively an avenue with cherry blossom that has come out especially for us. Wow, this I was not expecting. Hurrah.

First timers’ welcome done and dusted, a bit more ambling, and then we were called together by the Run Director. The numbers were greater than usual apparently, partly by Lucy 300 cheerers or ‘London Marathon Participants’ wink wink; and partly because of displaced people from nearby Catford. Plenty of regulars too though, and a cheery atmosphere despite a slightly overcast day.

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and then we were all at the start and set awf! I did my now usual of watching the runners depart before slotting in at the back. What a merry band of parkrunners they were too. A vision of loveliness, their collective athleticism matched only by their collective positivity and goodcheer!

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Disappointingly few had got the memo about mandatory tu tu wearing, but maybe they were all too focused on preparations for the morrow. Fair enough. You have to respect the right of everyone to participate in parkrun in their own way, them’s the rules.

This is a three lapper course, and a very pretty one at that. It’s quite a teeny park really, and if you look inwards there seems to be rich habitat for wildlife and if you look outwards you can see tower blocks that surround the green space. Because it’s pretty compact, you can see the other parkrunners ahead of you at first if you are slower, and later on behind you as they come up to lap you, and then ahead of you again once they’ve passed. I got lapped more than once by some, so plenty of opportunity for ‘hellos’ and mutually supportive acknowledgements.

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The first lap I did solo, pausing to acknowledge marshals as I passed. Hurrah for the high vis heroes, who were universally chilled and cheery as well as often cheering which is always a parkrun win. Aren’t they all gawgeous! And just like quality street chocolates, each one is someone’s favourite, personally, I can’t put a barcode to choose between them. The loveliest marshal is always the one you have seen or interacted with most recently.

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At some point I fell into step with the parkwalkers, briefly. One said ‘I have to ask this, why the tu tu?’ I explained about it being a 22 day so a 22 parkrun. The other parkwalker asked ‘well, does that mean you’d wear a tu tu on the 22nd if it was a work day as well. Dear reader, I had never previously considered this possibility, but it makes perfect sense! Genius even. ‘I’m going to say yes to that’ I replied, enigmatically, because honestly I think I should. Though could be tricky if I was filming a period drama say, but I daresay there would be a work around, either by channeling my inner tu tu, or by recognising work is so thin and far between anway, it’s not too likely to be an issue. Good shout though. They pulled ahead as I slowed. I’m so over this walking thing. I start reasonably perky, but as I progress, I get slower and slower. I feel a need to point out that although I like taking photos en route, it is also partly a masking/ coping strategy as I have to keep stopping. I’m heart broken by my physical limitation it’s not fair, and although in some ways it makes life easier having a hidden disability, in other ways it makes it harder because I feel so judged and misunderstood at times. Some people who try to be encouraging suggesting you ‘just try a little run’ it’s well meant but jars. I know my limitations, and in honesty walking the distance at an even pace and without a walking aid is challenge enough for me for now.

As you get further round the course, we came upon the cherry blossom avenue. Oh wow, this is properly amazing. We picked absolutely the best weekend to do this course for blossom appreciation purposes. It arched over the runners and was properly gorgeous. I tried to take some pics, but not sure they quite do the sight justice.

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After dancing down the avenue, you emerge and you swerve round toward the finish area, which is also the start area, only the opposite direction and then you do a u-turn around the tree, a sort of looping the loop bit. Like I said, very much like I imagine the Curly Wurly of Somerdale Pavilion parkrun to be, only with possibly better visibility for this weekend at least. Then there is a brief contraflow as you head back out again. Like this:

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Did you spot what I did there, I know, sneaky. parkrun pranking you, but you were too smart for me I bet…

I was lapped by some I knew and some I knew friends of friends of. ‘Dolly or Bev’ SURPRISE, I was late with my ‘arbitrary’ which was ironic, as this was after all my very much arbitrary parkrun number, I should have been more on it. Oh well, good to have parkrun friends with me now… I’ll nail it one day.

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I was slowing for the third lap, and ended up with one of the tailwalkers keeping me company. I learned a bit more about the space. Turns out, this used to be football pitches, but just kept flooding massively, so the powers that be gave up trying to hold back the tide and rather embraced it. Now there is a lake and a fenced platform that seems to be quite a distance from it is actually perfectly placed for when it rains as the water level really does come up that high. This means the green space provides excellent habitat, and presumably is protected by dint of the water levels, from being built on, hurrah. Green spaces are at such a premium in urban environments, and this one is a corker.

Round we went. I learned that just at the start of the cherry blossom avenue is a marshal spot where often a tambourine is flourished with aplomb. Today the aplomb was clapping themed, but none the worse for that. About half way round the final lap, my parkrun companions came back to join me for some of the route. We admired the sights together. The tail walker collected cones in our wake. All good.

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As we just came round in sight of the final corner lined with tree stumps towards the finish a volunteer was already removing cones ahead of us. This did make my heart sink somewhat, not gonna lie. They were cheery enough calling out ‘I just got impatient and I’m on course close down so thought I’d start’. I get that, I really do, but I hadn’t finished so… I totally understand it’s not meant to make you feel unwelcome as a walker, but it did make me cringe, . It’s like a fairy dying every time you say ‘I don’t believe in fairies’ except that fairies aren’t real so they can’t die. However, I am very real, an every time I see a course being closed down ahead of me or finish funnel packed away before I’ve been through my parkrun heart breaks a little. Since becoming a parkwalker rather than parkrunner I’ve had a quiet weep on the way back from rather too many parkruns. I hate being the one people got frustrated waiting for but it’s confusing too, are walkers welcome or not. Overall, this was a very welcoming and lovely parkrun, but it made me feel incredibly awkward that a volunteer had felt I took took too long. It feeds my insecurity, I feel I take too long too, but I can’t help it, and I need my parkruns too, maybe more than many of the parkrunners who are able to run in other contexts. It is a battle with myself to go to parkruns these days, I am never confident of whether a particular parkrun will welcome me or not. Never mind, I would have 48,599 people running past me tmrw, I’d focus on that, and up until this point I’d felt ok about being slow. I think people who are fast literally cannot comprehend how long it takes to walk if you have a disability or health issue or are just really unfit. Even when I ran some people would routinely comment on social media that anyone can walk 5k in such and such a time which wasn’t too far off my run time. Well maybe a young fit male could, but that’s only a small cohort of parkrunners. Reference early comments about having a fastest 500 finish times, it all feeds into the same narrative of slower participants not being as important as speedier ones. I don’t think parkrun means to do this, but there is work to be done for it to be truly inclusive in my opinion. Oh well. It is still a lovely parkrun, and I did walk it, and I was made welcome, just a blip…

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Soon the finish funnel appeared, and aren’t they lovely. And yes, I would have finished more quickly had I not paused to take photos but see above, I paused to take photos because I can’t walk continuously. It was lovely to see the whole funnel up, ready and waiting. I crossed the line and entered the funnel was processed and timed in, and scanned and surrendered my token, with the tailwalkers just behind as is the parkrun way. Then the volunteers set about results processing and finishing off the close down, and there were purposeful huddles and important looking cone wrangling going on. Hurrah for high vis heroes. We said our thank yous and goodbyes and left the team to their parkrun purposefulness. It is always remarkable to see how events come together, work their magic and then disappear into the non parkrun universe until parkrunday comes around once again.

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There is a cafe on site, we availed ourselves of this for coffee. The food options are limited, and non existent for vegans, but super friendly, and the coffee I thought was good. Nice to have a brief parkfaff. Hurrah!

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and then, once again, time to depart. Bye bye Sutcliffe parkrun, thank you for the warm welcome to your gorgeous park. Thanks especially to whosoever it was who stuck all those individual pink blossoms to the each and every tree down the central avenue to create an extra special ambience. Your efforts were – indeed still are – very much appreciated. Totes loving your work!

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So you see, tu tu to ta dah indeed, just like I promised! Three hundred parkruns done, tick.

Just in case you were there, and you missed them, photos from today can be found on this google drive link, but only for a week more, then I’ll delete it because my cloud will burst otherwise, but if you want to keep any, you can download yourself. Go wild! But expect to find it pretty empty by the middle of May, you have been warned 🙂 https://photos.app.goo.gl/EeGghfFjorjkEM7FA

Oh you want to know how it went with the procession the next day? Pretty good to be fair. I reckon that I got the waving bit totally nailed, and although I didn’t actually count everyone who passed, it was on the news with 48,599 people along the route – more if you count the marshals and escorts, so I’ll take that. I feel we maintained more enthusiasm and channeled more joy than the actual royals who frankly are looking somewhat stiff and lacking animation, no such half hearted measures on our part. We set out our pitch outside the house I was being hosted in, and then just stayed there all morning whilst people jigalonged by, hurrah!

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Thanks to all who came on by. Awesome to see you all, each and every one!

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And this woman was extra sensational, Go Hassan Go! Feeling the fear and doing it anyway, totally smashed it. I like to think my rattle spinning and enthusiasm helped a lot! Amazing females indeed. Thanks for coming by, appreciated. 😉

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Thanks to the 227 fellow parkrunners and 27 high vis heroes who joined me for my 300th parkrun. I reckon we all jigalonged our tree identical labs very expertly. Thanks too to the 48 thousand 599 passers by who took the trouble to run by me on the Sunday, honestly, you made it pretty special. Yay for the running community who made it so. You are all stars to me.

That’s all for now, but as always, you can browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though. And don’t forget to check out the pics if you joined the field at Sutcliffe parkrun on tu tu day, you never know, this could be your dream parkrun photo, best of all time. To be fair, that’s pretty unlikely, but you never do quite know. Good luck! Time is ticking though, those pics won’t be there for long… Do what you must.

Oh, but this is cool!! A timely reminder to get yourself on a volunteer roster near you in time for next parkrunday. Go awn, go awn, you know you want to! I mean not necessarily trentham gardens, lovely as that is, you could opt in to your nearest and dearest.

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Volunteering at junior parkrun, all the fun things!

The unabridged version.

So the story is this. I got in touch with parkrun to talk about my perspective on walking at parkrun. I really welcome the parkwalk initiative, but feel that sometimes what happens on the ground doesn’t entirely reflect the welcoming rhetoric that comes from HQ. I ended up having quite a useful, interesting and wide ranging conversation with them, including about how inclusive junior parkrun had been, in practice being more accessible than many 5k events. This led to me putting some text together which has ended up being published today in their parkrun blog, which I’m chuffed about. However, inevitably they have cut it back a lot, and I just though it would be good to share the longer read, just because really.

The parkrun blog post ‘a new perspective on junior parkrun’ is here

https://blog.parkrun.com/uk/2023/04/18/a-new-perspective-on-junior-parkrun/

Undigested read follows, of course it does!

Welcome to a parallel universe of positivity – junior parkrun! Come join the fun factory, the more the merrier.

Volunteering at junior parkrun

Volunteer team for Sheffield Olympic Legacy Park junior parkrun, #100 event celebrations

Inexplicably, it seems that there are some people out there yet to discover the parallel universe of positivity which is volunteering at junior parkrun.  This blows my tiny mind.  If you are one such person, then let me open your eyes to what you are missing out on.  Volunteering at any parkrun is super-fun of course, but volunteering at a junior parkrun is super-fun on steroids.  I can think of no other activity that can have you crying with laughter at the time, and then supplied with such a quantity of feel good endorphins in its aftermath that you will be super-charged with happiness for a whole week afterwards.  All of this in return for spending just an hour or on a Sunday at a junior parkrun venue near you.  I mean really, what’s not to like?  Spoiler alert, nothing at all!

To be fair, there was a time when I didn’t know about this other world either, hard though that is to remember now.  I had a vague sense that I wanted to ‘give back’ something to the parkrun world that had changed my life for the better, and volunteering at junior parkrun was a way to do that.  I got in touch, apprehensive about how I might be received, would I be thought a bit weird for offering my services at a junior parkrun when I didn’t have any children myself?  Well, good news dear reader, nope, I was welcomed with open arms to my then nearest junior parkrun at Graves Park, Sheffield.  So it was I found myself stepping into the wonderland that is happening all over the UK on a Sunday morning. 

It’s almost impossible to communicate how much fun junior parkrun can be.  There is the inherent hilarity about turning out in all weathers to watch people running around.  The camaraderie of meeting with the other volunteers, people from your neighbourhood you might not have had any reason to interact with before, but now you are sharing this hugely positive experience together you feel like you’ve known them all your life.  The delight of meeting the junior parkrunner who stopped to show me the biggest feather IN THE WORLD that they’d managed to discover en route before carrying on round.  Then there is the one who has to run around every bollard, lamp post or indeed volunteer on the course as part of their 2k run; the multitude of fancy dress, Gruffalo onesies or simply unorthodox clothing choices ‘just because’; the junior who brings a different cuddly toy with them each week; the participant who accelerates towards you each week for a high five then swerves off at just that moment of connection because they don’t really do contact; the friends or siblings who do the whole route holding hands; the multitude of children enthusiastically flinging their arms out so they can do aeroplane wings for the downhill section at the Sheffield Olympic Legacy Park junior parkrun because it is an actual FACT that this will make you go faster – faster still if you make wheeeeeee noises at the same time.  Or how about the child who last week ran the whole event with a buff pulled over their eyes to a chorus of ‘watch out’ shouts from marshals torn between horror and amusement as they set about shooing them in the right direction.  Or the ones who on the first lap are seemingly going to stroll the whole way round (which is fine by the way) only to be turbo charged for their second lap, leaving their astonished and wheezing accompanying adults for dust.  Every junior parkrunner has a story as does every parkrun event.  Being able to be part of this occasion is not giving up anything, it’s being included in a celebration of life, positivity and a world that is for that pocket of time at least, entirely free of cynicism.  In an age where we are used to talking mindfulness junior parkrun has it nailed.  It’s an all-consuming hour when I don’t think of anything else, just enjoy the moment.  The only really, really important rule for junior parkrun – as far as the participants are concerned – is ‘have fun!’  I include this in all my briefings now, to adults and juniors alike, it is ultimately the essence of parkrun, and junior parkrun manifests this mantra brilliantly. 

Through supporting junior parkrun you are part of a movement that increases wellbeing in young people and hopefully secures the future of parkrun more broadly as a new generation grow up with an appreciation of the values of inclusivity and volunteering as well as a love of being active.  It might be you are nurturing athletes of the future – certainly it is the case that a Sheffield junior parkrunner won the actual London Mini Marathon last year in 2022.  However, amazing as that success is, it’s arguably even more important and rewarding to cheer on those youngsters who might otherwise never enjoy being active, who are won over by the supportive environment together with the enthusiastic cheers and applause they experience just by being there.  They are enough in themselves.  They are truly welcome however they choose to participate.  If they want to pause to admire the daisies or rescue a worm from the course on the way round, that’s fabulous too.  And junior parkrun birthday celebrations are especially awesome, these juniors know how to party – have you seen them in their junior parkrun warm ups. Gorilla stomps, bum kicks and sun jumps are the future.  Surely you want to see these glories for yourself?

It’s maybe no surprise to hear that I am a massive enthusiast for junior parkrun.  It has brought so much joy to my life, possibly even more so than for the junior parkrunners who are supposedly the main beneficiaries.  However, my participation took on a whole new perspective last year.  It happens that I was really ill during lockdown, and nearly died following some medical complications that left me housebound for a while and using a wheelchair for many weeks.  Gradually, I became a bit more mobile, but it was a long old haul, graduating to using a Zimmer in the house, then a rollator to help me venture outside and finally sticks.  I desperately wanted to reengage with people but how?  Long story short, the Sheffield Olympic Legacy Park junior parkrun community were just amazing in helping me get back involved.  They started off by giving me a marshal point really near to the carpark so I could manage to get to it with my rollator.  They then despatched juniors with a high vis for me to wear so I didn’t have to go to the main assembly point which would have been too far.  The juniors would then keep me company until the start of the run.  At the end they collected my high vis and wished me well.  This went on for many weeks.  Over time, as I could manage slightly further distances, I made it to the finish area to give out finish tokens – a job I could still do seated, and eventually took on marshal points at gradually increasing distances depending on how far I felt able to walk.  They did all they could to accommodate and encourage, being understanding too that if I had a bad day, I might have to cancel at short notice.  In fact, I never had to, I think largely because I knew I was going in to a supportive environment where I’d be helped and not judged if things were hard to manage.  In my experience, junior parkrun really is an exemplar of good practice in creating a positive and inclusive environment for both volunteers and participants alike.

My favourite role?  Whichever one I’ve done most recently to be honest.  It’s impossible to choose.  I love doing the first timers’ welcome as you get to introduce new parkrunners to something potentially life changing and broker that relationship.  I adore leading the warm up because, well, inner child will out I suppose.  Conducting a mini cohort of parkrunners to activate their helicopter arms or wave at the tailwalker is quite brilliant, and any excuse to bring along my Giraffe Geronimo to proceedings.  Then again, cheering the juniors enroute swells the heart.  I’m amazed each week at their micro adventures on the way, whether that’s someone who has decided to skip the whole route, the memorable junior parkrunner who interacted as a somewhat ferocious tiger for the duration of one particular parkrun, or the juniors who put on a greyhound sprint leaving their adults for dust.  Junior parkrun takes the principle of ‘respecting everyone’s right to participate in their own way’ and takes it to a liberating extreme.  Be honest, wouldn’t you fancy giving parkrun a go as a tiger given the chance?  Just do it by the way, no-one will care, but in a good way.  Handing out the finish tokens at the end is fabulous too, you get to speak to every participant, and learn the names of all to boot – but let’s not forget the role of supervising the finish funnel, cheering juniors to their sprint finish and whooping them through like the returning heroes they are, well that’s simply priceless.  Try them all out for size, find your happy place.  None of the roles are taxing, all are fun.  There aren’t enough positive adjectives in the thesaurus to communicate the joy!

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Taking part each week honestly reminds me, in times which have sometimes seemed agonisingly bleak, that there very much is still good in the world.  What’s more, you can access it in bucket loads at a park near you on junior parkrun day!  It is a rare privilege in life to be able to both spread and receive happy vibes in equal measure.  This kind of joy isn’t finite, the more it ripples out, the stronger those waves become.  Don’t miss out, jump right on in, the water’s lovely.  If you haven’t yet discovered it, explore it now.  There is a whole new world, waiting to welcome you in, Sundays will never be the same again.  It will restore your faith in human nature and all those belly laughs will do wonders for your abdominal core strength too.  Healing for the body as well as the soul, come join the junior parkrun party!

We may have Paul Sinton-Hewitt to thank for our Saturday parkrun fix, and believe me I do, but thanks too should go to Paul Graham, who was behind the launch of junior parkrun, making parkrun weekends complete – replete even.  Whatever did I do with my weekends before?  Oh, and you can always volunteer on a Saturday as well by the way, junior parkrun can be the gateway experience to that field of glee too.  parkrun in all its manifestations is a force for good in the world in a time when that’s something we really need.  Whichever you choose though, remember Paul Graham’s most important parkrun rule. What’s that?  Oh yes, all together now ‘have fun!’

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Lucy Marris, A448776

March 2023

I’ve also done various blogs on junior parkrun, link follows in case of use:

Party on… Graves junior parkrun Totally Terrific and Two Today!

There’s snow runners like Graves junior parkrunners!

Graves Junior parkrun’s first Birthday Bash – setting the standard for pop up parkrun partying

Bowled over by Bowling Park parkrun, where everything is genuinely fine! ;)

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‘Supportive, inclusive and non-judgemental‘, that’s what me and Red Ted overheard a parkwalker saying as we checked out the venue for Bowling Park parkrun. Phew, good to know. Mind you, although of course we should try not to judge anyone else in any context, but that isn’t to say there won’t ever be any consequences for poor life choices. We were discussing this amongst the volunteers at Sheffield Olympic Legacy Park junior parkrun the other day. I’ve only just discovered the Netflix series ‘The Good Place‘

Why had no-one told me about this before? I had to stumble across it all by myself, but what a find! It’s genuinely laugh out loud funny. I mean, the ‘lol’ acronym gets carelessly thrown about all the time, without holding literal truth, but this is proper hilarity inducing stuff, stimulating the laugh out loud reflex even when watching alone. This is very rare indeed. I was doing the ‘have you seen’ conversation in anticipation of sharing the joy with other volunteers and met an almost universal chorus of ‘oh yes, it’s properly hilarious’ which please me, because these are clearly my people in taste as well as parkrun volunteering worlds, but also enraged me, why have they been keeping this secret joy from me? Is it some sort of treacherous conspiracy. Anyway, I found one person who hadn’t seen it, and contracted with them that they must watch at least two episodes. If they don’t like it at that point, well, it’s clearly not their thing, this would horrify me, but I’d have to accept it. Hence the discussion we had about consequences for thoughts and actions – everyday ethics if you will (a pleasing irony to those of you who have seen the series). The point being, those of us in the know agreed that we would not reject or judge the person, but of course there would be consequences of their choice. We would from hereon in have to regard them with a lingering look of pity and sadness. It would be unavoidable, so not quite judging but… Anyway, on the subject of good places, this parkrunday took me to Bowling Park parkrun, another new to me event. Not sure if I should use ‘the good place’ segway as if you’ve seen the series it might not seem so apt, but if you haven’t? Well, there’ll be no spoilers from me, just take my advice, don’t read anything about it, just dive in, it’s so much more fun if you don’t know what’s coming. And that is definitely true of parkrun too, so let’s dive in!

Right, so where was I? Oh yes, Bowling Park parkrun. I hadn’t really considered where to go this parkrunday very far in advance, but then ambassador Zee suggested this as a possible venue as it’s had a fibonacci number event coming up. I’m not particularly doing that challenge, but it is a parkrun that I’ve not made it to yet, which is within easy reach of Sheffield so sometimes identifying a related challenge for a parkrun shunts it to the top of the list. So it was with Bowling Park parkrun. As it happened, then the great ambassador couldn’t make it – or maybe just didn’t want to be seen with me, I forget which, I decided to go anyway, I’d have Red Ted to keep me company after all, plus all those friends I hadn’t met yet. Yes, everything would be fine, grand even. Hurrah.

A bit of pre parkrun research of the official Bowling Park parkrun website blah de blah told me that:

Where is it?

The event takes place at Bowling Park, Bowling Hall Road, Bradford, BD4 7TL. See Course page for more details.

and the course is described thus:

Course Description

Starting at the children’s playground, the route heads up the hill. Two and a half clockwise laps and then turns right up the hill to finish close the Lodge cafe.

There is parking on the roads around Bowling Park. Please be considerate towards local residents when parking on the road. Please do not block private drives etc. There is also parking available at Asda, Rooley Lane for parkrunners using the store.

Hmm, pretty minimalist to be fair, it looks like this:

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So like a deflated figure of eight basically.

I extended my research to checking out the Bowling Park parkrun Facebook page and learned from this that one of the core team was doing some sort of takeover event to garner support for a marathon challenge he’d be completing on the Sunday, in aid of Emerge Young People’s Charity No mention of fibonacci fears re numbers, but the event was clearly going ahead. Jolly good, everything is fine.

parkrunday morning came around. I woke stupidly early, the duvet was appealing, but my plan had been set, no point in messing about. Did the essential pre departure routines, counting my tadpoles, listening out for the wren, deciding which buff to wear, dig out my barcode.

It was a straightforward drive to Bowling Park, I wasn’t over confident about the loo situation, so when I was near I spotted the ginormous ASDA I decided to stop off there to avail myself of the facilities. Little Lucy Factoid for you, this ASDA is the only one in the Northern Hemisphere which is actually visible from space, so you will have no difficulty finding it, unless you are coming from completely the opposite direction I suppose, but I think you can see if from about 100 miles away in all direction. Where are you right now? Is it dark? If not, just take a peek out the window now if you can, there it is! Told you. Impossible to miss. One cautionary note though, as well as being the most enormous ASDA ever, it has speed bumps appropriate to this stature. They were the most savage I’ve ever encountered, and the loop into the store is basically a slalomesque u-turn. Fine if you are going slowly enough, and for the record, I was, however the slightest bit of ice and you’d be helplessly sliding sideways into the line of oncoming traffic. If it is icy and you are driving, get a companion or staff member to run ahead of your vehicle waving a flag or something, just to keep everyone safe. They might lay bubble wrap or rubber matting over the speed bumps for you whilst they were about it, you wouldn’t want to jar any important muscle groups just ahead of your parkrun.

I was early, quelle surprise, and so decided to chance the parking near the park. There was loads of parking in ASDA, and I don’t think it is that far to walk, but I always fret about adding anything extra to the parkrun distance in case I come unstuck in some way en route. In fact, there was ample on-road parking right outside the main entrance. This isn’t a particularly busy event, so I think parking isn’t too much of an issue. Aaverage attendance is 60, there were 88 or us this week, but only 22 the week before. I didn’t check if the number of participants has to be divisible by 11 every time but I presume it must be. Every parkrun has it’s own unique characteristics, perhaps this is Bowling Park parkruns USP? A particular boon for Nelson Hunters.

Having parked, and been indecisive about whether to wear extra layers or not, I headed to the main entrance. You could see the Park Cafe, and beside it an open door where there is indeed a loo. This loo also acts as a sort of mausoleum for the old Bowling Park parkrun pop up sign. Less popped up, than propped up, for eternity, or however many years it takes for that fabric to degrade. It wasn’t the only item set to endure that I came across, but more of this later. High vises were being dished out, and a van and mini marquis, marquee gazebo was up displaying leaflets for the youth organisation that was part of the take over for today’s event. There was quite a buzz about proceedings. I think possibly some people attending were new to parkrun and excited about what the morning would hold.

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The sun was shining, the air was crisp. I had time to go for a little explore. As is really the norm, I was once again super impressed by the park. The write up doesn’t really do it justice. Granted, it maybe isn’t huge, but perhaps because the space is undulating and has lots of mature trees it feels like a real green and tranquil sanctuary. It makes you want to go and explore. Having seen where the gazebo was I assumed that was the start so no distance to go so I headed off up the hill for a mini explore. It was doing this I overheard the parkwalker – who ironically was having a little jogget at the time – sharing their positive views of parkrun in general and parkwalk in particular. This was reassuring, hurrah.

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The park was all lovely and the mature trees truly glorious, but not gonna lie, the thing that got me really fired up was the three bears! Red Ted had his very own tribe and photo op. There aren’t enough bears at parkrun generally, and now it’s been two consecutive weeks, what with Beacon Hill parkrun also delivering on that front. But, lovely as Beacon Hill was, from Red Ted’s perspective, just the one bear. Here there were three! Hurrah! Cue many photos. Honestly, he was thrilled, could bearly contain himself! Not seen him this happy since he got sight of the latest parkrun magazine.

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Red Ted got quite into the whole photoshoot vibe, and by the time I looked up and towards were everyone had previously gathered, there was nothing but tumbleweed and abandoned coats. Uh oh. I’d not really checked out the course details of where to start. Since they’d not gone past me, they had clearly mustered in completely the opposite direction. Ooops. I put on a little shuffle to find them. Fortunately, they weren’t far away, just round the corner near the children’s play area. I missed the first timers’ welcome, assuming there was a separate one, but was in time for most of the Run Director’s briefing. He was explaining about his challenge the following day. As far as I could gather, he will be running the Manchester Marathon and whilst he is pounding the streets doing that, young people from Emerge will each run a mile each in a successive relay, and the fun will be seeing whether it is the group of young people’s combined times, or the RD’s Manchester miles which are completed the fastest. Obviously we know parkrun is a run not a race, but for tomorrow, mind spin, definitely a race not a run. Who will finish first. Quite a high pressure race methinks, I’ve seen how much of a spurt youngsters can muster, then again, brilliant way to stay motivated. It will all be happening in the park. A pretty original fundraising idea. It will keep everyone engaged. Also, bonus, loads of extra volunteers today cheering everyone round. Hurrah!

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Lots of clapping and thanking and general parkrun cheeriness, before we were awf!

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I did my new usual of watching everyone shoot off, and then slotted in behind, watching the colourful bunting of runnings disappearing over the hills and far away. Though as I topped the first slope, I saw them again, wending their lycra way like migrating wildebeest over the far end of the park. And most jolly and athletic they were too! Just look! You’ll have to look at the other shots along the way before you get to them though.

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One striking thing about the park, apart from the proliferation of bears of all sizes of course, is how many interesting landscape features there are. There seemed to be a plethora of solid stone stairways leading to flat open grassed areas. There were fountains and water troughs all sorts really. Hang on, I need to google this, it is a space rich in history I’m sure. Right, here we go, accordingtowikipediasoitmustbetrue Bowling Park

is a public urban park near Bolling Hall in Bradford, West Yorkshire, England about 1+1⁄2 miles (2.4 km) south south east from the city centre. The park is irregularly shaped with an area of 50 acres

In the late 1870s Bradford Council purchased large areas of land for the park, including part of the former grounds of Bolling Hall, Bradford.[1] Earlier in the 19th century part of this land had been mined for coal and ironstone.[1] In 1878 competitive plans were invited for the design of the park and later that year the plans by Kershaw and Hepworth of Brighouse were accepted.[1]

The park was created between the years 1878 and 1880 and subsequently opened in 1880 by Angus Holden.[1][2][4] The design of the created park however, differed significantly from the Kershaw and Hepworth plans.[2] The Kershaw and Hepworth plans show a croquet lawn, a cricket ground and a large reservoir bordering the park in the east[1] but none of these were ever constructed. In the 20th century various ponds in the park were filled in so that none remain today, and an area in the south-east of the park laid out for golf.[1] Bowling greens, tennis courts and a second promenade were added in the 1920s.[1] A free, weekly timed 5km parkrun is held at 9am every Saturday.

It mentions actual parkrun dear reader! What a fine wikipedia entry this is indeed! Goes on to say:

The main carriage entrance is in the north-east on Bowling Hall Road at Lister Avenue. There is a second similar entrance in the north-west on Bowling Park Drive—both entrances having two-storey lodges.[1] In the west, there is another entrance from West Bowling with a tree-lined embankment approach.

Running through the park is a serpentine carriageway within which are a series of interlinked curving paths that together with shrubs and trees enclose a series of irregularly shaped zones.[1]

The site slopes down to the north west making it suitable for tobogganing in winter.[2] There is a fenced off children’s play area,[2] a youth cafe,[5] a multiactivities area,[6] crown green bowling greens operated by the bowling club,[7] and a pitch and putt course created in 1924.[5][8] Elsewhere in the park are the base and roots of a fossilised tree.[9] Friends Of Bowling Park is a voluntary organization who organize community fundays in the summer, and help keep the park free of litter, and along with Bradford Bees YMCA have helped establish Bowling Park Community Orchard.

I knew it! I knew I’d seen another fossilised tree, it was to that I was alluding earlier on. I took a picture, hang on. It looks rather unremarkable in the photo I know, but it’s quite something to think how long this has endured. parkrun will endure as long I hope. Even as hell freezes over, dedicated Run Directors will be popping out cones on what they calculate to be parkrunday in perpetuity. Core teams always do all they can to keep the event parkrunning, sometimes against seemingly impossible odds. This tree, and the propped up sign do likewise. The tarmac around the tree roots is a mistake in my eyes, but looks like the roots are holding their own. These fossilised tree routes seem to be quite common in the Bradford parks. I’ve seen one in Lister Park at the Brilliant Bradford parkrun and also at Horton Park parkrun. Surely another example of the edutainment value of parkrun, never seen these before in my life prior to parkrun, and now, thanks to a bit of tourism to Bradford parkruns I have borne witness to a whole hat trick of them.

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Entry is free and the park is open at all times. In the event of bad weather visitors have the option of going to Bolling Hall and Museum to the northeast on the other side of Bowling Hall Road.

Oh, but this last bit is really confusing, and indeed was on the day. Why is there a Bolling Hall not a Bowling Hall, and why Bowling Park in the first place. Oh well, some things inevitably remain a mystery, it’s good in a way, keeps things interesting. It would be dull indeed if we knew everything in advance. Though tbf Good Janet seemed to find it more than handy, servicing the needs of the newly departed arriving in The Good Place… There is more about the history of Bowling Park in the Friends of Bowling Park rather excellent webpage, which includes some excellent historic photos. These are two of my favourites. Love the outfits, must as parkrunners like to dress for the occasion so too did these fine Bradford folk. The more things change eh…

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Anyway, you get the idea, very nice park, lots to see and do. The Bolling Museum isn’t a typo but rather either an appealing or confusing juxtaposition of names. ‘Bolling Hall was for many years the seat of two important land-owning families, the Bollings and the Tempests‘ apparently. Though to be honest, I’m getting suspicious now, they sound like characters in a Dickens novel and also, I’d like to get back to talking about the Bowling Park parkrun if it’s all the same for you. Not going round and round the park like I’d become trapped on the micro cycle track, unable to navigate my way out. This is Bowling Park parkrun’s answer to Somerdale Pavilion’s Curly Wurly. Apart from the fact the course doesn’t include it, it’s pretty much identical. #goodtoknow

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Where was I? Oh yes, plodding up the hill, watching other parkrunners looping back the other way. I was filling in the void between the parkwalker ahead and the tailwalkers behind. There was a marshal point at the highest point, just ahead of some cheering youths from the project I think, who were doing sterling work cheering parkrunners on from outside a rather shut looking ice cream/snack shack? It was very closed, so hard to tell. The marshal though was in action escorting a fallen parkrunner. The route is all tarmac, and a good surface, but recent rain had made the surface unexpectedly slippery underfoot and speeding round the corner would be much like navigating the Asda entrance and exit road in icy conditions, you’d be sliding sideways and out of control before you knew it.

I continued, taking in the greenery. The park is lovingly used and cared for. Many trees were in blossom, and there were signed wildlife areas. I was somewhat confused by little footprints on studs at intervals. Truthfully, I found this somewhat bizarre and unsettling. Isn’t it the widely used symbol for the pro-life movement? If that was not the explicit intention, it seemed to be a very strange choice of marking for what turned out to be the Daily Mile health walk health work and/or the Scenic Stroll. Distracting at the very least. I couldn’t find anything to explain this choice, and half wonder if someone has snuck it through unnoticed. I recognise it is a contentious issue for some, but for me I think only a woman should be able to make decisions about her own body and control her own reproductive rights. It doesn’t seem appropriate to be using this imagery in the context of health and fitness walks. Oh well. On the plus side, nature trails, and three bears adventuring possibilities. Odd though, very odd indeed… Surely not officially endorsed?

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It’s a nearly three lap course, so inevitably, quite early on on my first lap, the super speedy parkrunners were lapping me. I’m getting to quite appreciate seeing the faster runners, it’s an unexpected boon of multilap courses. I used to avoid multilappers when I was able to run, finding them a bit dull. As a parkwalker I appreciate multi-lappers more, you are less on your own, and you get to appreciate your surroundings rather more, spotting additional detail each time you pass.

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Of course, as well as the passing parkrunners, you get to interact with the lovely marshals on the way round. They were all acing their directional pointing, charismatic smiles and enthusiastic cheers. It helped that it was a bright sunshiny day, and people’s moods seemed to be correspondingly upbeat.

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The route takes you past the finish area, so that meant I got to see some of the faster parkrunners being cheered in. It was all very jolly. Social too. You are spat out of the finish funnel in a trajectory that takes you straight to the cafe should you wish to avail yourself of it. People seemed happy to linger and cheer other finishers home, which is always nice to see.

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Round past the finish, up the hill … and this time, a super smiley marshal is back in situ. From our snatched communication, I gather he is personally responsible for organising the parkrun weather fairies to bathe Bowling Park in perpetual sunshine! Isn’t that fab? What a hero. Another high vis super star oozing positivity, it is the parkrun way! Quite a cheer squad was going on up there, high fives and team work a-plenty to see us round for lap two.

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Clearly, any parkrunners who were beneficiaries of the high fives on offer picked up a massive psychological boost and with it a turn of speed that made them veritably fly onwards down the hill. Hurrah!

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So you get to scoot round again, admire the views, wave at the marshals, peer at the information signs, more marshals, more landscaping and ooh look! We are back to the finish area all over again!

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Sailing by one again for the final nearly lap. This time the other participants were long finished, or at least the speedier ones were, so no more lapping, a contemplative lap. Eventually I was at the turn off point for the finish funnel, and a little meander along a tree lined path towards the beaming smiles of the finish funnel awaiting me with fingers poised over the timing app and ready to spring into action to give out and subsequently scan my newly acquired, but quickly scanned and surrendered finish token.

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and that was that, another parkrun memory banked.

But wait! There was more! I was intrigued by the library box and had a little peep inside and found – much to Red Ted’s continuing delight – not just books but another bookend bear. Splendid!

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Honestly, he’d have been very happy to stay on a bit longer. I would have been too, were it not that I was feeling it a bit by now. It is more undulating than you might think, and although I’m still a slow walker, I had tried to shuffle on a bit to see how it was. It was pretty uncomfortable, so now time to leave the blossom and Bowling Park parkrun people behind, but it’s definitely an event to come back to. Thank you lovely parkrun peeps. How the fundraising marathon event was fun and fruitful, and the bears aplenty and friendly too.

’til next time…

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Oh and for triangulation purposes, here is the run report for this event, written by a fellow tourist. You’re welcome. And you can check out what happened with the Marathon Challenge here – exciting!

There you go.

Same time next week?

Til then, if you the mood takes you, you can browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though. Or you could just close your eyes and imagine again the blossom and bears at Bowling Park in Bradford. Won’t go too far wrong with that option, but the choice is yours. Just as long as you choose a parkrun somewhere eh?

🙂

Beckoned to Beacon Hill Country Park parkrun, a most eggcellent and hoppy Easter venue.

Whatever the subtext inherent in Blanche’s utterings, it’s not a bad thing sometimes to have to rely on the ‘kindness of strangers.’ Anyway, in the parkrun world, there aren’t really any proper strangers, because for the most part, if you have done a parkrun before, you will meet friends of friends at any random parkrun anywhere in the world. Not so much grappling for six degrees of separation as ‘ooh, you’ll know so and so‘ and so it begins. If that doesn’t work, well then new people at a parkrun are basically that old cliche of ‘friends you haven’t met yet’. Really, they are! Today is a case in point as will unfold if you have nothing better to do than read on.

Honestly, parkrun is quite a breeding ground for the aptness of cliched phrases. Phrases that it’s all too easy to mock, yet we might secretly have up on a poster at home somewhere. Not ‘live, laugh, love‘ though I draw the line at that. Then again, did you know it actually comes from a longer poem? No, I didn’t either until quite recently. Might make you see it differently, or might not, I haven’t read the poem, so it might be equally trite. Another thing I didn’t know until just now, but I’ve readitonwikipediasoitmustbetrue, is that that whole aesthetic vibe is known as Cheugy. I know, interesting isn’t it? Rhetorical question, yes it is! Let me illuminate further:

‘Things described as cheugy include “mom jeans“, “live, laugh, love signs”, “Minion memes“, and “anything that says ‘girl boss‘ on it”.While it has been compared to being basic,^[3] some sources have suggested that it is “not quite ‘basic'”.^[1] The Evening Standard said that “the cheug’s logical archnemesis is probably the hipster‘

Hmmm, I mean, that is quite a challenging statement in some ways. Because, in the interests of full disclosure and transparency, personally I do quite like Minion memes – the microphone drop is a classic. The phrase ‘Girl Boss’ is an abomination of course, anything that infantilises women through language like that is a ‘no’ from me, but then again, to have someone who uses a jam jar as a drinking vessel (that’s how someone once defined hipster to me many years back, and it’s sort of stuck) as your archnemesis – is almost admirable. Imagine them in a fight and it’s hard to know who would win. You’ll have to come to your own conclusion. The thing is though, today, the kindness of strangers really picked me up, so hooray! And I’m not using it in the sense of trying to reframe abuse, (that’s good to know, obvs) I actually mean it, the kindness of strangers was a total tonic. Even so, it is a classic film though ‘A Streetcar Named Desire‘ if more than a little disturbing. I might need to watch it again, it’s been a while. Meantime, here is a minion image to muse on. And Viv and Marl too. Go on, knock yourself out, enjoy.

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You’re welcome.

By the way, do you remember that Google mic drop April Fool? That was awkward…. Oh, just me then, never mind, it’s not the first time that’s happened.. Moving on, where was I? Oh yes, heading off to Beacon Hill Country Park parkrun, for their Event 6.

I have been vaguely aware of Beacon Hill starting up recently, and wanted to avoid going too soon to give the event a chance to settle in before descending on them. Not that I was expecting any particular special arrangements on my behalf, though wouldn’t say no to a red carpet down the finish funnel obvs, and I’d properly LOVE to tick off my last outstanding bingo number. It’s just that current etiquette is to avoid making parkrun tourism to brand new events so the teams don’t get overwhelmed and scared off before they’ve had a chance to establish and flourish. I have a new phone, in fact have crossed over to the other side and am now in possession of an actual smartphone. Not gonna lie, it’s not just amazing to have a decent camera at last, but I love the 5k app. When I was pondering where to go, this came up as a new to me and near one, and it happens to be a new needed number for my Wilson Index (the maximum continuous parkrun event numbers you have attended – at any event) taking it to the dizzy heights of 6! Fortunately, I’m not in a hurry, and I’m not particularly going for the Wilson challenge, mainly because it seems a lot of effort for an arbitrary achievement, but not gonna say no to the chance to sneak a new number in. Today was Beacon Hill Country Park parkrun number 6, so fitted the bill very nicely. Not too far from Sheffield, and I’d heard good things about the course and event so yep, that’d do.

The course blah de blah on the official Beacon Hill Country Park parkrun website describes the course thus:

Course Description: The course starts near the Native Tree Collection by the lower car park. The first mile is uphill through woods until reaching the upper slopes of The Beacon. The route then takes an anticlockwise loop, down the Rippon Avenue (of beech trees) and around the West Beacon Fields, enjoying the panoramic views across the Trent Valley to the Peak District beyond. The course then follows the same track back down the hill, through the woods with views that open out across the Soar Valley. After a couple of sharp bends, the course finishes on the field in front of the café. The route can get very muddy in places in wet weather.

Please keep to the left throughout the course except when crossing the route at the top of the hill. This is a multi-use track used by horses, pedestrians and cyclists.

Facilities: Toilets are available near the entrance to the Lower Beacon car park, and also in the Upper Beacon car park (which is also half way round the course). There are children’s play areas near both car parks.

Location of start: The event starts near the native tree plantation by the lower car park.

The nearest parking is available at the Lower Beacon car park (LE12 8TA, w3w ///pull.scrambles.deaf), car park marshals will normally be on hand to help you park as closely as possible. Alternative parking is available at the larger Upper Beacon car park (w3w ///mend.cube.mile) which is approximately 1 mile from the start.

Post Run Coffee: Every week we grab a post parkrun coffee at the Beacon Hill café which is open from 9am – please come and join us!

and it looks like this:

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Basically another contender for the badly drawn tadpole route, or maybe a kite? Like the one in the song, not the bird. The course does go pretty high up so it might be quite a good sport for kite flying when the wind is up I should imagine. Also, flying a kite is seasonally topical, only this weekend the Guardian listed it as a recommended activity for their ‘Blooming marvellous:56 small ways to spring into action‘ saying:

‘5. Fly a kite

It’s beautiful. It’s meditative. It’s contemplative. There’s only a small chance of it going berserk and injuring a child. For inspiration check out windswept.co.uk.’

Worth a go anyway, participating at this parkrun, whilst waiting for an opportunity to actually go fly a kite I mean. I do hope you are following. More than that, actually quite an eggciting prospect to hop up Beacon Hill and not too much of a scramble to get there being but an hour or so from Sheffield. Bit more if you are paranoid about being late and fearful of not getting a parking space near the start. I can just about manage to walk the parkrun distance now, though it typically will wipe me out for the days following, but not an extra two miles on top, particularly a hilly two miles. Yep, would Beacon Hill Park parkrun would be most fine and dandy, but a skip and a hop really.

Speaking of skipping and hopping, have you seen these cool chicks Not that chicks hop, but that big bunny most certainly will?

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Why were they crossing the road? To get to Florence Park junior parkrun of course!

Fair play to them, this is eggactly how it should be done! It was the reference to the egg timers that particularly cracked me up! Not gonna lie, in my world, that is actual genius! And as for having the actual Easter Bunny in charge of proceedings, properly awesome. Every parkrun should have a bunny on duty, I don’t see why not, they have one as a Wellness Officer for the Police in California after all.

Still, that’s tomorrow, we are still on today, Easter Saturday. I was feeling a bit sad this morning, in every sense. I’m so over being physically limited in what I can do. I could never run with particular aplomb before becoming ill, but I could run for fun, and mix in with the parkrun throng invisibly, it’s grim being such an outlier at times. Being final finisher is sort of a thing. You can’t just rock up, do your parkrun and slip away. Real inclusion is to be so much part of an activity you are unnoticed, I’m a way of that scenario at a parkrun unfortunately. I miss being able to trust my body. It was never anything to write home about in terms of appearance, I hardly had the body of a Goddess to start with, unless there is a Goddess of people who have been hauled through a hedge backwards? I don’t think there is, but there should be. I can see them being quite in demand. Despite this, I took it for granted that my body could do stuff. Walk all day; muck out stables; dig over gardens; run for a bus; ride a bike; trot upstairs; walk to work or to the doctors; drive for a couple of hours stretch or even stand in a queue for as long as needed. It’s what a body can do that matters. I feel thwarted to have lost that confidence that if there was a physical thing I needed to do, I could just do it. Never gave it a thought. A consequence of this long, long incapacitation is that I’ve lost my way with parkrun a bit at times. I don’t really have a home parkrun as such anymore. I’ve lost confidence physically in what I can do, sometimes I think it’s in my head and I can do more if I just try, and then I do just try and it’s catastrophic. I can’t compute it. It’s not fair. I know other people have it worse, but I’m grieving for what I used to be able to do. The parkrun I used to regard as my home event isn’t a course suited for walkers. It has a couple of single file sections and is multi lap and doesn’t seem to entirely embrace parkwalking. I am not confident of having a good experience there, particularly as I would inevitably be the cause of many tailbacks on the way round. I am in a constant search to find parkruns where I can participate without feeling a burden on events. Walking at parkrun can be complicated. I don’t want to rain on everyone else’s parade by messing up their parkrun experience, but I’d still like to find parkrun parades where I can join the merry throngs on their celebratory processions around their respective parks. Celebrating parkrun day of course! In case you were querying the reference there. So basically, I’m sad because I can only walk at parkruns and I worry that not all will be pleased to see a walker rock up.

I’m also sad because I feel many parkrun adventures are passing me by. Various parkrun folk have energy and finances I lack, which enable them to head off to a seemingly endless list of exotic parkrun locations. I am pleased for them, really I am, but I’m sad I can’t join in too. It’s getting to that time of year when FOMO is brutal if you make the mistake of browsing parkrun related Facebook groups. Although, from time to time people I know will offer to walk with me – last week being a fabulous case in point at Hackney Marshes parkrun, I do always feel when they do that they are sacrificing their run and I’m rather spoiling their parkrun experience. I’m embarrassed at how long it takes me to get round, fearful of an impatient event team at the finish, and just have that overwhelming sense of being a burden. I feel I can’t put upon the same people too often. I’d just like to be invisible. To rock up and do a parkrun in the middle of the pack unnoticed.

To be fair, if I was actually properly invisible, I can think of other places I’d like to gatecrash too. Yes to theatre outings and a fly on the wall at important, usually hidden events. But I’d definitely also do minor poltergeist moving stuff around gigs, just for fun. Do you think you have to go everywhere naked for it to work? You know, like when the invisible man covered himself in bandages to appear normally visible? That would put me off some spots, but it would be alright in warmer climates I daresay, then again, midges. Hmm. You know what, I’m not pursuing that line of thought any more just now. It may lead to regrets. The point I’m trying to make is, that whilst for the most part people and teams are welcoming, it isn’t a given. Being an outlier can be a horrible feeling. Endlessly touristing on my own is pretty lonely sometimes, and nerve wracking too. Plus, I despair that I’m still nobby no-mates after so many years, parkrun travel buddies who share goals and aren’t fussed about time taken and live in the right geographical area are hard to find. Basically, this was the mood I woke up with. Just sad. Here we go again, off to a new parkrun on my own, just to walk round, it seemed madness. It’s just gone on too long, this not being able to do things. I still hope this isn’t the ‘new normal’ and that I will be able to run again, however ineptly, at some point in the future. Before all this happened, in the ago times, I was really wanting to test myself over ever longer distances, maybe take on maybe walking ultras if not running ones. I’d still like to, though accept that this seems ever more unlikely. Consequently, I was not feeling optimistic from under my duvet first thing. It seemed a lot of effort to get up and get out. Woe is me. The thing is, whilst I don’t endorse pity parties as a default position, I know they can drag you ever further along that downward spiral, sometimes you just have to allow yourself a bit of a slump and then you can pick yourself up and try again…

But dear reader fear not! My fear of being a problem and every parkrunner sighing inwardly and avoiding eye contact when I rocked up did not materialise. Beacon Hill Park parkrun embraced the parkrun inclusivity ethos. This is why having tailwalkers and parkwalkers is really helpful, people who are happy to go at a different pace, taking it all in and won’t tut at you for breing too slow. Another plus about attending a new-to-me event is that you get anonymity. There wouldn’t be any expectations put on me. There would be people for company if wanted, but more importantly for me, people who have come with the expectation of walking so that’s not a big deal. These things combined can help to stop me feeling quite so much in the way. Whilst it’s true I don’t have the same experience walking at parkrun as I did when I used to run it, and I do miss that, there are other wins from taking things slowly. You can appreciate the surroundings more, and sometimes, like today, you get to chat to some really ace people as you twalk (talk and walk) or chootle (chat and pootle) your way around! #winningatparkrunife. I might have set off in a literal fog for the drive, and with a dense metaphorical existential fog in my head, but by the end of the morning both the literal and metaphorical fog had lifted for the time being at least. Phew. I still wish my body worked properly though. And that my legs were the same size. Funny what you don’t even notice until you do. Then again I have tadpoles, and they are pretty awesome, privilege to have them in my life, and I’m not even joking. What’s more, tomorrow is junior parkrun day, and that always gives an injection of feel good endorphins to carry you through the rest of the week. I wonder if there will be any Easter Bunny costumes? Hopping so. Things are looking up!

Away I went. It was a really straightforward drive, and although the satnav didn’t take me quite to the destination, it was pretty obvious where to head as there were handy brown signs to Beacon Hill Country park. Hurrah! Also, as I got nearer, the countryside became ever more enticing. This really is a beautiful part of the world, it’s fantastic to have so many parkruns to choose from in this neck of the woods, it is the hoppy prospect of parkruns to discover that has after all brought me here. Honestly, were it not for parkrun, there are so many little – and even quite big – corners, pockets and parks of the world I’d never have thought to explore.

It was about 8.20 when I arrived. There was already a merry cluster of car park marshals in situ to sort the parking. I had worried about being able to find a parking space but in fact there were quite a lot of free spaces at that time. The first marshal had the important job of pushing the button to issue a ticket, and I guess the other marshals would start waving people to the nearest available space as the carpark filled. Apparently, just having button pushers speeds things up enough to prevent tailbacks of people waiting to get in. I’d love that pushing the button job, it reminds me of the joy of using an old fashioned ink stamp when playing post offices at school. They don’t have them any more do they? Proper ink pads with heavy rubber stamps to flourish. Kills the fun element of the job I’d imagine. The nearest equivalent today is probably stamping passports or visas in some tin pot dictator’s domain. The greater the delusions of grandeur the more numerous and enormous the rubber stamps required to gain entry would need to be. That would be fun, even if living under a dictatorship would be quite a high price to pay for just one strand of job satisfaction. Still, it’s a thought. You have to find what joy in your labour you can. Anyway, stop distracting me about the stamps, the point is, the carpark is pretty spacious,. It does however lack any painted lines to indicate individual parking spaces, which means it’s less efficient in terms of space, hence the need for marshals. There were little piles of horse hair round and about – people can park horseboxes up and head off with, or indeed upon, their equine companion and trot along the trails. They groom them either before or after, hence the little piles of freshly removed horse hair. I was quite tempted to take some home. Not for me to stuff cushions with, but I wondered if the birds might like it for nesting. I didn’t though. Another bright idea that never came to fruition. You pay on exit by the way, so don’t lose your parking ticket. Oh and there are loos – or at least a loo – available pre parkrun. You can see the start/finish from the carpark too, so it’s all nicely compact and reassuring. Hurrah. I always feel better once I’ve sussed parking, precautionary pee and espied parkrun people. Phew. Beacon Hill Country Park parkrun was going to be just fine! Not just ‘fine’, but actually fabulous!

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First task, was to go and investigate the finish area. Eager beaver marshals were out and about purposefully striding around carrying signs and looking busy and important. Others were huddled together for a pre parkrun pep talk or possibly bodily warmth? The venue looked immediately magnificent. There were woodland trails just begging for you to plunge down them to explore. The sun was shining, the pop up sign was out. Yes, this was going to be splendid! Ooh, and that’s the Run Director doing her checks, and there is a lion, a frog and an actual mole. All the things, hurrah! I have it on good authority that Beacon Country Park is always bathed in this perpetual spring sunshine bursting with promise of new life, it was 100% of the time I was there anyway, which you have to concede is a pretty conclusive stat. Go check it out.

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There was also a bear! An actual bear, but this one seemed friendly, not the sort who would partially consume you and then spit out the remnants to finish off later.

People started to assemble, posing for the mandatory tourist photos, but also checking out the new parkrun magazine which has just reached event teams – and is also available to purchase from the parkrun shop if you don’t know a local Event Director or parkrun ambassador to personally deliver you a copy next time you are at your local Sheffield Olympic Legacy Park junior parkrun say.

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Did you spot the elves? They are hard to miss. Well dear reader, I learned during the course of the parkrun that these are quite famous in their own right. Meet Coblyn Bach and Coblyn Mawr, no, I don’t know which is which, or should that be who is who? I do know, they grew out of the Elf on a Shelf idea, and then it evolved into ‘an elf is for life, not just for Christmas’ and it follows logically that an elf (or indeed elves) are also for parkrun and particularly parkrun tourism. These were in the guardianship of one of the tailwalkers. In fact both tailwalkers are old hands at being responsible for mascots after years of training in various youth groups apparently. Mascots are pretty common at parkruns world wide, though some are more animated than others. Have you seen fluffy the Emu in action at Nambour parkrun? That’s pretty cool, if potentially slightly alarming too!

https://www.facebook.com/nambourparkrun/videos/771884377682066/

Good to know. Did you also spot the rather magnificent sign? This one:

The huge map of the course. Oh, and I think those are the official run report writers in the back of shot, FYI. Back to the sign though. I LOVED it. Sadly, it seems it took a bit of a tumble last week and smashed into a million pieces! I hope whoever had to count them all out got an extra volunteer credit. Anyway, it’s been lovingly reassembled, and if not as good as new in the pristine sense, I think it’s actually better than new, in that thes creases and repairs become part of its own story. You know, like that fine china that is prized even more greatly when repaired with gold Kintsugi – a Japanese art form of repairing ceramic. Breaks are seen as the history of an object rather than something to disguise. Maybe I should gold leaf my leg and then I’d feel better about it’s lack of functionality. It’s a thought? Then again, if I treated all my broken or rubbish bits I’d end up looking like C3PO and that would definitely work against my goal of being invisible at a parkrun so maybe not. Oh, unless it was a May the Fourth parkrun occasion, but quite a while til one of those comes around again, not until 2024 apparently. Put Wakefield Thornes parkrun in your dairy for that date is my advice, it’ll be worth the wait. Anyway, that’s missing the point, the point is, well done creative mendy parkrun people. You did good. Bet you can build fabulous space ships for star wars parkrun day next year too. Start collecting your toilet roles NOW. This is the one to beat IMHO

The next enrichment activity, was the first timers’ welcome. This was well attended, I think a fair few of us were tourists, but there were also some first time everers which warms the cockles of every parkrunner’s heart. Hurrah, their Saturdays will from henceforth be parkrundays and their lives will be the happier for it.

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It was a very good briefing. There was an unusually thorough but helpful course description. It dawned on me (slow on the uptake I know) that the reason there is a beacon on this hill, and it is called Beacon Hill Country Park is because there is firstly a hill, and secondly quite a high and steep one at that! This course basically goes up and up and up through the forest paths, looking out for horses and other park users, then round in a loop and back down again. Great views at the top reward your efforts, and if going up is hard, coming down is super fun. The instruction is basically to keep to the left, until you cross to go right and round the loopy bit in an anti clockwise direction. Sounded straightforward. We were then waved off to the Run Director’s Briefing. She scampering off ahead to clamber on a handy tabletop for maximum voice projection.

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On this bright sunshiney day, the Run Director gave her briefing with gusto and aplomb. She thanked volunteers, welcomed tourists and newbies and went through all the usual safety briefings. Dogs on short leads, one per person (I’d forgotten to bring a dog with me, but that was fine) usual things. She also told us that she was making her 5k parkrun debut as a Run Director which was not at all frightening apparently! Good to know. It is noticeable how many people who volunteer regularly at parkruns move between the junior and 5k parkrun events. Your efforts are appreciated parkrun volunteers everywhere. I felt like we were in safe hands. This is still a very new event, but it felt like a well oiled machine already, there is an attention to detail and great positivity too. This event wants to succeed. The alert to look out for horse riders so as not to spook them – or more accurately their steeds – for example, the intention is to co-exist supportively with other users and all will be well. It all felt lovely.

From the briefing, there is a group trek up to the start. Oh, ok, it is indeed up hill! Some regulars had already gathered there, missing the briefing. I’m not sure what I think about that, it seems a little disrespectful, but better than talking through a briefing if you feel you’ve heard it all before. Also, to be fair, if you’d parked at the top car park and walked down, you’d have got to the start line before the main assembly point. Run briefings often do take place at start lines so I suppose you might quite genuinely expect it to happen there. If you are touristing, keep on walking though, and join the briefings proper, and you’ll be rewarded with a proper loo in case of need as well.

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The woodland track is nice and bouncy under foot. We were warned that there might be muddy slidey patches, but I thought it was pretty good underfoot. A few puddle sections, but nothing too daunting. Some parkrunners did have buggies – albeit fancy off road ones – and seemed to manage fine. I can see why they have the briefing in the open space lower down. It’s quite snug at the start. People sort of naturally put themselves in approximate positions for finishing times, it felt unhurried though, not bargey. After a bit of shuffling about it was time to ‘go’ and go everyone went. I stuck to the side slotting in as the numbers thinned out, so I could walk without being an obstacle.

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Well, this is lovely. There is something super calming about being amongst trees. Forest bathing they call it. You feel instantly at peace. The soft woodland paths make everything feel quiet and calm. The faster parkrunners had streamed ahead, and for a little while I was ahead of the tailwalkers and parkwalkers so had the whole place to myself. It was gorgeous. You need to remember to look to the left and to the right to appreciate the tall trees and the woodland canopy and espy the views to the right. It helped that the weather was just perfect for visibility, with come clouds giving lovely tones to the vista. Pretty much perfect. And as if that vision of loveliness wasn’t enough in itself, after a bit a marshal came into sight. Cheerily sitting to keep us pointed in the direction and safe from galloping horses, and presumably them safe from us too. All good!

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You’d have a job getting lost on this route, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a role for marshals. They provided cheery support, companionship, safety monitoring, equine lookouting as well as directional pointing. On the whole the parkrunners seemed well behaved. The usual hotchpotch of cheeriness yomping along. There was one miscreant participant who had let her dog off the lead at the first possible opportunity. It was an elderly labrador pootling along. The problem is, it was a loose cannon. Although I’m much better than I was, a loose dog is quite scary for me as I worry about keeping my balance and I can’t take evasive action very easily if a dog lumbers across the track or stops suddenly, it doesn’t matter if it’s old and friendly it’s still a hazard. I don’t understand why a parkrunner would just ignore a rule, it’s like they cannot comprehend the danger their action presents. I gather someone else also noticed and asked for the dog to be put on a lead, and it was, but not gonna lie, it spoiled my experience of the parkrun initially. parkrun isn’t compulsory, you can run with your dog off lead elsewhere, so why you’d feel compelled to do so in the midst of a pack of 249 parkrunners I don’t know. On the plus side, they were soon swept ahead, not before the runner in question had called the dog back to them causing it to stop, and trot across the path of a sea of runners making their way up the track. Some accidents aren’t just random, they are entirely predictable. I mind about this having seen a lose parkrun dog cause an elderly non parkrunner to fall really badly at York parkrun, he looked to have broken his hip and as in this scenario it was an entirely avoidable situation. Oh well, nobody came to grief today, and once they’d disappeared over the horizon, the hazard had at least passed for me, though I resolved if it was still loose on the way back I would hang on to it myself.

Pretty soon, the speedier parkrunners were indeed hurtling back. The uphill I was still negotiating gave people a real turn of speed for the final mile. Bet they felt superhuman. Though to be fair some of them seemed to be anyway, fair flying along. I love watching people run, it’s the joy of being alive, and on a bouncy trail in spring sunshine, downhill all the way through a forest arch there was no better place to be on earth in that moment than right there and then. My photos can’t really capture it, but here are just a few.

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At the top of the upward bit, there is a cannily placed marshal to shoo you round to the right. It has to be said, this is a bit counterintuitive as you are on the left and your instinct is to keep going left like you would if you were going round a roundabout. There is an arrow to advise but you need to keep your wits about you. It didn’t help that I was gravitating towards the returning parkrunners which encourages you to go the wrong way. One participant with a buggy did slip through the net here, and I nearly did too, but a hyper vigilant parkwalker spotted my error and I was called back on track. Even if you did go wrong, it wouldn’t really matter, you just do the loop the other way round, exactly the same distance and you can’t get lost.

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Once we were safely on our anti-clockwise loop, there were no more returning runners, so we had the track to ourselves. I was doing my stop start photo taking malarky. After a bit of metaphorical leap frogging, I ended up in companionable stride with the two parkwalkers. Initially, I was a bit self conscious about my periodic stopping, but they were excellent twalking fellows and game for photo opportunities too. We were comparing parkrun stories, and I mentioned University Parks parkrun as a particularly welcoming one. I was quite done in afterwards, so never did a blog post about it which I rather regret, because it was super welcoming and fun. A veritable army of walkers and a chilled atmosphere throughout, despite it being a grand occasion for the celebration of a 500 milestone parkrun for one of the core team. Anyway, guess what? I know, you won’t be able to, but don’t worry I’ll burst if I don’t tell you. It was only their local parkrun! Get in! So then we were able to find many a common parkrun friend, proving my earlier point, that as soon as you enter the parkrun jamboree, you will quickly find you are part of a super network of connectivity that straddles the earth with nearly as far a reach as fungal mycelium and where the fruiting bodies are new parkruns and junior parkruns rather than toadstools and mushrooms. All parkrunners are interconnected, but this is in a good way, more in common than divides us sort of way, not like in a cult, just to be clear. So yay for friends in common, though the irony of having missed them at their actual home parkrun was not lost on any of us.

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There were more marshals to interact with. This marshal had a very sweet canine companion who appeared genuinely delighted to see us. It was his first time as a marshal, the marshal not the canine, although it may have been the canine’s debut too, I really don’t know. Anyway, they were nailing it. He’d not only got a cuddlesome dog as an incentive to keep going, but on closer approach he was playing Kate Bush ‘Running up that hill’ on his – well I was going to say ‘on his walkman’ but I don’t think that’s a thing any more. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t actual Kate Bush either, I don’t think she does live performances any more. Anyway, it was definitely an external sound, and not a voice in my head. It was facilitated by this lovely marshal and his hound. Thank you both. See how expertly they pointed the way. Not gonna get lost in the woods here. Not on parkrun day at any rate. You could get lost in your thoughts though, if you wanted to.

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On we went. On our merry way. We met the parkrunner with a buggy, looping back in the opposite direction. Some of the marshals who were stepping down behind us started to walk back in a gloriously gathering guard of honour. On the descent you pass an adventure playground, the upper car park – which looks fabulous for kite flying purposes for the record. In fact, I even found a picture on a website somewhere showcasing exactly that activity. There was a look out hide – you would get fantastic views from there, I wasn’t sure if it was to look out for fires maybe, but it would be a great place to look out from with binoculars. Post parkrun viewing fun for the taking, but a lot of steps! Oh, and at the highest point, you also see the actual beacon, not lit, but definitely very much there. Must be visible for miles when it is ablaze. Not sure when last that was though. Queen’s Platinum Jubilee I think. You can check out more information about all the Beacons here.

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After a bit, we came to the bit that purported to be be ‘Beacon’s best view’. Personally, I’m a bit dubious about this, since clearly Beacon’s Best View is whichever bit you’ve just been looking at. However, it did present a very fine frame to pose behind, so we had to do all possible variants of people available to cover all eventualities. I will leave it to you dear reader to decide which arrangement of parkrunners, or indeed of none, constitutes the actual best view.

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As we wandered onwards and downwards, I found myself more in step with the tailwalker, and we too talked parkrun connections. Her home parkrun is Shipley parkrun. I had a sense I’d been there, but embarrassingly couldn’t quite recall which one it was, even when described to me. Later communications revealed it was the one with the apocalyptic rain! I remember that very well. Funny how it wasn’t so much the route I recalled as the sensations and memories associated with it, how I felt on the day. It was an awesome volunteer crew that day. Hilariously, again, we weren’t there on the same day apparently. Still our parkrun paths were clearly destined to cross at Beacon Hill Park parkrun instead 🙂

As we walked, and more volunteers joined our entourage, we got to talking junior parkrun. Turns out, a few weeks back her local Shipley Country junior parkrun was cancelled due to another event in the park, so volunteers decamped en masse to nearby Gedling junior parkrun for the first junior parkrun of the clocks changing Early starts all round!! The final participant had a magnificent escort to see them safely home. It’s a brilliant photo, shared on their facebook page. Isn’t it grand?

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It looked to be going the same way for me, which is not a bad thing, as the folk were friendly today. Oh, and we passed a jolly horse rider on a very calm looking and well turned out pony. It was nice to see lots of different people and their companion animals and elves sharing the space.

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and finally, the brightest beacon of all was the shining high vis of the guard of honour lining the finish tunnel. Flashing smiles of welcome I made it in, a little behind the parkwalkers and just ahead of the tailwalkers. Just as it should be. With a flourish of efficiency we were clicked across the finish line, and safely scanned in. Then the team busied themselves with course close down and results processing, and the scattering of parkrunners who remained drifted away, some to walk back up to the top car park, some to the cafe some homeward bound. Taking nothing but memories and a new parkrun credit and leaving nothing but footprints and smiles and hopefully their finish tokens too, because you really shouldn’t take them home with you. Really. Just don’t.

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My morning adventures were not yet ended though, because I then got to meet Athena. You know Athena right? Well, actually, I concede you may not, as I didn’t until today, but my life had been the poorer for it. The thing is, if it weren’t for Athena, then Shipley parkrun wouldn’t have a ‘mind the puddle’ sign and warning protocol. The story, as told to me – Athena may recall it differently – this can happen to the voiceless if they lack impartial representation, is that she towed her accompanying parkrunning human right into a massive pool of water. We are talking basically a near drowning, face planting, aquaplaning kind of scenario. It could have ended badly, but apart from a complete soaking and a complete loss of dignity the parkrunner survived to tell the tale. The happening has become part of Shipley parkrun history and folklore and you might say even memorialised with signage and health and safety warnings. Not gonna lie, Athena looked pretty unmoved by this, she may consider that she’s been framed, or basically really not care. She still loves parkrunning adventures though, under control on a short lead now though. That’s for sure.

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just time for the obligatory selfie

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and then it was time to go home… It had been a good morning. Hurrah. Heading home in the sunshine, and all was right with the world.

Thank you Beacon Hill Country Park parkrun, for reminding me you don’t need to travel to the ends of the earth to find a fabulous and exotic parkrun, or indeed very far at all, there may indeed be one just on your doorstep! Each and every parkrun is a place of wonder and connectivity. Thank you tailwalking and parkwalking comrades for making it a parkrun party at the back of the pack, and how brilliant we found where the intersections were on our parkrun Venn diagrams. Small world indeed. Thank you Beacon Hill County Park parkrun team for the warm welcome and congratulations on the not at all scary 5k Run Director debut to today’s top bunny. All you high vis heroes were good eggs. Despite a somewhat melancholy start, it was a hoppy ending all round. Hurrah! All is right once again in the parkrun world. We can live hoppily ever after in our shared parkrun world.

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Oh and for triangulation purposes, here is the run report for this event, written by a fellow tourist. You’re welcome.

And another thing, if you the mood takes you, you can browse through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though.

You can dance, you can jive and you can parkrun at Hackney Marshes. Abbasolutely fantastic voyage of discovery!

I’m not joking when I tell you that Hackney Marshes parkrun was ABBAsolutely Awesome! I’m really happy that we made it to this venue, especially when you hear how some people got on on their parkrun day. There was a particularly disgruntled post by someone who’d gone to Royston Vasey parkrun and had a terrible time, as that one is a local parkrun just for local people apparently. Hackney Marshes is of course a local parkrun for local people too, but also very welcoming of first timers it seems, so good shout. We truly were having the time of our lives this weekend with Londonshire adventures!

Thoughtful regulars too, see how that guy is trying to tiptoe past unseen? I think he’s trying to get to the communal yoga mat the team put out for you so you can have a pre-parkrun stretch if the mood takes you.

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I’d been a bit apprehensive about this weekend. It was going to be a whole night away in Londonshire, and last time I had such an adventure it wiped me out entirely. For a whole week afterwards I was barely functioning. I’m better than I was for sure, but my health feels precarious. I have very little stamina and it doesn’t take much exertion to knock me out for several days following. Going away for an ABBA voyager dance off AND a parkrun seemed crazy, but then again, an opportunity too good to miss. I decided the only fair thing to do was to come clean with my co-conspirator and party planner. Wasn’t sure if I’d make it through the night. Fortunately dear reader, she was awesome. Pointing out it wouldn’t matter one bit if I popped my clogs at an ABBA concert, in fact what an awesome way to go. She’s trained in care work so wouldn’t be remotely phased and would (obvs waiting til the concert had concluded to avoid ruining it for everyone else) spring into trouble shooting capable action to sort stuff. Also, she’s pretty canny, I would abbasolutely have given consent for her to try to blag some comp VIP tickets to go back another time to help her recover from this trauma. I’m not quite sure how a backstage pass would work with avatars, but worth a punt. And as for giving up the ghost at parkrun, I know for an actual fact someone would have the wit to scan my barcode and that would be splendid too. I’d probably make the parkrun blog, and would posthumously use this performative death to manipulate more parkrunners donning fancy dress, and indeed ABBA Voyager concert goers as well. Not many had made the effort, I was shocked. I would say ‘each to their own’ but really? Point is, transparency paid, it was going to be a road trip from Sheffield darn south, a decadent afternoon, overdoing the blue eyeshadow, trot to the ABBA Arena – my it was windy. And wet. So much wetness, falling from sky, or more accurately slamming into us from the side. Then, security checks passed, into to the mosh pit to throw some moves, singalonga like nobody was watching, which they weren’t, or they were, they didn’t care, then sashey back to the hotel for cheap prosecco and debrief with just one more sleep to new parkrun day. All went well, we had a fABBAlous time, well worth any physical damage to be experienced over the coming days. The thing is, whilst it’s possible to do many things alone, it’s just harder. I can get a spider out the bath these days, but it will take several goes. Same with opening prosecco, I can manage, but it’s just so much more fun with a buddy to open it for you and share the fun. So it is with an ABBA Voyager outing, you could go on your own, of course you could, but having a co-adventurer is double the fun. It’s a boon if your companion happens to be an epic Dancing Queen too, the appreciation was mutual!

Also, I now have a smartphone. Yes, I know, it’s taken a while. I have been threatening this for some time, but now at last the deed is done! This means finally I can take decent photos and pay for things like a grown up by waving my smart phone over contactless machines. I suppose it is good to have finally joined the digital age and access treats such as whatsapp and the 5k running app. Unfortunately, I still don’t really know how to use it, and my failing eyesight and fat fingers combo gives some communications a significant element of surprise, oh well, keeps everyone on their toes and adds novelty to the most mundane of exchanges, so where’s the problem? Talking of the element of surprise, my Google phone can do some things by magic, like this animation, it just appeared. I am amazed and slightly spooked by it’s capabilities, much like with the ABBA thing. Not going to give any spoilers, but would recommend, it was a hoot. Mind you, helps that we are both outstandingly cool dancers. Not blowing my own trumpet or anything, but if the fuse on the gig had gone and the avatars vapourised, we could totally have stepped in, stepped up and stepped out to save the day, nobody would have known the difference at all.

Oh look my camera can do magic edit things. Who knew? I’m loving having this new toy more than I should. No way am I playing this cool. Out of character as that is I know. Still wearing the wrist band and the eye make up. Partly because I want to, and partly because it turns out using permanent marker pens to do your eye shadow isn’t as clever an idea as you first thought.

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And new parkrun day came!

To be completely honest, Hackney Marshes was the parkrun destination of choice, purely because of proximity to where we were staying. I knew nothing about it at all. Good news though, another friend lives really near and then an ambassadorial friend gave it the thumbs up too, saying it has amazing London views. That’s good then, shame to come all the way to Londonshire and not see them. Another potential consideration, only it wasn’t was that it rained and rained and rained and rained and rained and rained and then rained some more on parkrun eve. A good many parkruns had to cancel due to waterlogged fields or actual flooding. Some of the photos of cancelled parkrun venues were quite something to behold. Even if someone had been bold enough to try to erect a finish funnel, they’d have been swept away by a rising tide of flood water. Edenbrook Country parkrun being a case in point. Some, apparently, did gamely brave a (not)parkrun but this was made possibly only by the loan of floatation devices and lane dividers courtesy of the local swimming pool/ leisure centre. Good shout. I guess you’d have to have brought along your own wetsuit and snorkel, which is fair enough. They had lifeguards rather than volunteers too. Core teams think of everything 😉

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Considering there is a potential clue in the name Hackney Marshes we were lucky that there was no potential parkrun cancellation angst to wrestle with for us. Better yet, my EWFM and parkrun buddy came to meet me and my ABBA twin in our hotel foyer, so we were gathering like children around the Pied Piper to go in procession to our parkrun of choice. Except that it’s really more Paul Sinton-Hewitt (PSH) that the Pied Piper who brings us all together. Did you know he completed his Freyne parkrun this weekend by the way. That’s his 250th different parkrun destination. Paul Sinton-Hewitt that is, not the Pied Piper, not least because the Pied Piper is a fictional character, and even if he was real, he would be dead by now as that story first emerged in the middle ages accordingtowikipedieasoitmustbetrue. Oh and unlike the children being taken off never to be seen again in some sinister kidnap, we would be joyfully joining the throng at Hackney Marshes parkrun where you’d be insane not to return week after week thereafter. Oh, and we wouldn’t be in procession, we’d all be in the same car, fitting in nicely once the back seats had been cleared of all the doggy paraphernalia and assorted life accessories that had gathered within like a prepper in the making, but who hadn’t quite got around to digging their bunker. All backseats of cars are the same over time. It’s like sand dune succession, landscapes evolve. Fact. So pretty much identical to people heeding the Pied Piper’s call apart from those minor tweaks, and also very much like excited friends gathering in anticipation of visiting a new parkrun, which is way more fun to be fair, and much more to be recommended. Besides, we are probably a bit past being referred to as children, but that’s ok, because you are never too old for a parkrun.

I hadn’t done any real research into Hackney Marshes parkrun, but have now, so do save you the arduous task of clicking on the Hackney Marshes parkrun website, the official blah de blah reads as follows:

Course Description: The course consists of an out and back around Hackney Marshes. From the start on the East Marsh do a clockwise loop of the marsh following the edge of the football pitches. After the third right turn head along the grass to the bridge that goes over the River Lea leading to the main North and South Marshes. Turn right when over the bridge and head along the tarmac path for 1300m before taking a sharp left turn onto the North Marsh. Head south around the edge of the North Marsh keeping the football pitches on your right for 900m until you get to the end of a set of 7 pitches; veer left and then turn right to re-join the tarmac path towards the start/finish. When you reach the bridge to the East Marsh turn left and then reverse your original route round the East Marsh to the finish.

The course has spectacular views of the Olympic site and a lovely stretch following the River Lea navigation channel. It is a flat course, the vast majority of which is run on grass, with the start/finish section located on the East Marsh just a short 5 minute walk from the car park that services Hackney Marshes centre.

Facilities: Toilets are available in the Hackney Marshes Centre 400m from the start.

Location of start: The course starts near the Hackney Marshes Centre in the southeast corner of the main marsh, just next to eastern most end of Homerton Road, before the junction with the A12. The centre is a large and distinctive rust coloured building, with full shower and changing facilities on site. The start line is located next to the football pitches on the East Marsh, just over the River Lea and a 400m walk from the Hackney Marshes Centre. The postcode for finding the Hackney Marches Centre is E9 5PF.

Post Run Coffee: Every week we grab a post parkrun coffee at the Hackney Marshes Centre – we look forward to seeing you there!

And it looks like this:

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So a tadpole drawn in the style of Picasso or other Cubist painter basically. They should just say that at the run briefing really, and then everyone would be totally clued up about where to go. Another way of thinking of it, is as a lollipop with a dislocated neck, does that help at all? Personally, I just follow everyone else and go where the marshals tell me, that works too.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, hotel foyer. Checked out, into car, and on our way using the postcode advised. It was a short drive. The destination on our satnav was a bit before the park, but we used our skill and judgement to work this out and avoided parking in someone’s driveway, in favour of going to the actual park. There was a staggering amount of parking available, and this being London, also excellent public transport options by the look of things. The main issue that presented itself to us was which of the many car parking spaces to choose. We then went into the huge rust coloured building where, joy of joys – there were loos aplenty for precautionary pee purposes, phew.

We were less confident about where to go to find the start. However, we espied other parkrunners, who impressively were wearing 500 parkrun milestone tees, and they’d already asked someone for directions, we threw our lot in with them, and followed them through trees, over a bridge, and through to a clearing with football fields where we could see the volunteer team in a high vis huddle. We had made it, we were here! So exciting!

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It’s always a good feeling to have arrived in good time at a new parkrun, we’d made it, hurrah! But there were more delights to follow. My EWFM parkrun buddy had already volunteered to tailwalk, so collected her high vis and kudos, and my ABBA twin was up for an impromptu volunteering bout, the previous night’s whirling, twirling, bopping and popping having taken its toll, she was warmly welcomed and given a cheer spot near to the bridge we’d just passed. What’s more, she hadn’t got her barcode with her, but no problemo! You can find a friend’s barcode – or indeed a barcodeless stranger’s barcode – on the 5k app if you have a smartphone. Gamechanger. High vises donned, the next task was to take a multitude of photos, obviously. I’m really enjoying my new smartphone’s camera, it is so good, but as a consequence I do have to take a great many photos. Even I am hoping the novelty wears off soon, as it’s impossible to choose which ones to include.

Here we go though, your starters for ten:

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But wait there’s more. We obviously had to chat to the 500 milestone runners, but guess what? You can’t guess? Don’t worry I’ll tell you, they’d only been to the ABBA concert the night before as well, and were down from Leeds, so practically my parkrun neighbours. This called for a photo for sure:

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But wait, there was still more. I had Red Ted with me, as I do on most parkrun occasions, unless I’ve accidentally left him in the car or at home or he’s visiting friends or something. Turns out, that having a bear companion isn’t odd at all, they have one too! Only their bear is more media savvy having his own instagram and FAcebook page. He went to ABBA Voyager with them apparently, it wasn’t really Red Ted’s thing so he stayed back at the hotel. I am ashamed to say I can’t remember their bear’s name, but it was something very cute, like Bumble or something equally adorable. He wasn’t at the parkrun, sleeping off the excesses of last night I dare say, but we got to meet him virtually, so that was a win. Here they are together, #newfriends.

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Just goes to show how easy it is to find something in common with parkrun compatriots! You just need to start talking and you are bound to find connections aplenty! It was very exciting! If ever I have a hypnotist do any regression therapy with me, I’ll try to remember to ask if I can pay them a bit extra so that they have time to dig down and find out the name of the bear so you can find him too. He looks very sweet does he not? Would be money well spent I’m sure.

So after we’d swapped bear stories, and ABBA stories, and got high vis, and done lots of picture posing and taking, it was time for the first timers’ welcome, which was delivered with grace and enthusiasm by the lovely Run Director for the day. She had a clip board in front of her and the London skyline behind. There were quite a few first timers, I wondered if numbers had been boosted by other ABBA goers or people displaced by flooding. Apparently, a whole month’s rain fell in one day on parkrun ever. Honestly, I can believe it.

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Then after a short interlude, there was the actual Run Briefing, also delivered by the Run Director, who was gamely standing atop a collapsible chair. Clearly someone who lives life on the knife edge, and doesn’t mind flying in the face of a risk assessment. There were pacers – reusing now redundant high vis which was a good plan. There were also a number of bespoke signs indicating the start of the parkrun. Apparently they usually have a flag, but it blew over, hence the chair. Plus, presumably, once the parkrunners are awf, there is a bit of a break before the front runners make it back round the field, so those on the finish funnel area can take it in turns to have a bit of a sit down in this interlude. Either that, or they can play a particularly rubbish game of musical chairs if they feel bored enough to have to make their own entertainment during this short lived lull.

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After the usual thanks and shout outs, and a warning to look out for Colin’s Lake at the turnaround point (it’s Colin’s marshal spot, and a lake had appeared, so he got to name it, and named it after himself, well I’d have done the same frankly, it’s fair enough) and it was awf!

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Yay! Love a good start!

The field raced ahead, and soon were looping out of sight around the first of the football pitches. You did get the most fantastic views as promised. There were no football matches taking place this Saturday as the pitches were waterlogged, but normally there are loads. Today you got the full spectacle of the thread of parkrunners, flying round the perimeter of the field like bunting made of lycra and dreams. A vision of loveliness and athleticism indeed!

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The views are amazing, those skyscrapers are impressive, though that one that seems to be missing a whole floor apart from a teeny bit at the side holding up all the storeys above is rather alarming. Not gonna lie, would very much NOT want to live above that.

By the time we came back round the field to the finish/start area most of the parkrunners had disappeared out of sight, but not to worry, I was with the tailwalker who by happy happenstance and pre parkrun plottery was my lovely parkrun buddy and EWFM. I mean really, what were the chances! Never alone at a parkrun indeed. We got to wave at the volunteer crew as we passed them, and next we were safely waved over the bridge by my ABBA twin, who was doing excellent work cheering, directionally pointing and indeed taking photographs of parkrun participants. I say parkrun participants, but her particular speciality is barkrun participants, and she did very well indeed in that respect. We were crossing out just as the first finishers were coming in. I was able to take some pics of those using my new smartphone. Did I mention I have finally got myself a smartphone. Oh I did? Are you sure? It takes lovely photos – did I mention that? Oh. Well, good that you were paying attention, but would hate for you not to have known.

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Over the bridge and a right, waved round by cheery marshals. At this stage of the parkrun we were in a contraflow with lots of parkrunners now homeward bound. It was nice to see them, though I was a bit daunted about how fast they were compared to my slow progress. Still, spirits were high, and parkrunners friendly. I snapped some pictures as we made our way along the path. The path was actually pretty good, a few slippery bits, but considering the rain a great surface. We were alongside the River Lea. Although obviously I have no idea how high the water lever usually is, you could tell the muddy waters were waaaaaaaaaaaaay higher than usual, I guess that water has to go somewhere. The pacers were going at cracking speed and no doubt encouraging others to new pbs or at the very least the desire for a new set of lungs.

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You can’t really get lost without falling into the river, so there weren’t that many marshals along the way. However, we came across a little family of them clustering together to try to steady parkrunners coming back from the fieldy bit back onto the main river path via an extra squelchy mud fest. I got distracted by the high vis and returning parkrunners and nearly went wrong, taking a little diversion to snap some more photos before being encouraged, coaxed, shepherded and shooed back on track by my attentive tailwalker. She has form with shooing, and is particularly good at shooing hens, so corralling a waywood parkrunner left her completely unphased. What a star. She at least had been concentrating during the description of the route during the run briefing! I can report that there was no faceplanting in the mud or sinking below the surface of the slurry of mud on their watch. The parkrunners went out, and the parkrunner returned, each and every one. As far as I know the high vis heroes managed to stay upright too – sometimes precariously so, but upright nevertheless. Weeble like, they wobbled, but they didn’t fall down!

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Me and my parkrun buddy now had the riverside path to ourselves for quite a stretch. Other parkrunners were all on their way back, and we’d passed the contraflow section. It was a good opportunity to appreciate the spring blossom, look out for the green screeching parakeets and put the world to right. Well, we made a start on putting the world to rights, there is still a way to go for that to be fair. The willows over the river were amazing, and the wildlife habitat was just brilliant. Everywhere you looked they seemed to have created a microhabitat. That might be an area of stumps, or a fenced off insect house, all very impressive. Granted, this is a flood plain, but even so, it blows my mind that there is this vast green space in the middle of London, and that it is being managed as an oasis for wildlife alongside a multitude of football pitches and yes a parkrun. Shared spaces like this are beyond price. The backdrop of the London skyline is an extraordinary juxtaposition. This really is a proper lovely parkrun. I mean, all parkruns are perfect in their own way, but I’m glad we picked this one for this weekend, we were winning at parkrun life!

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After a bit, MUCH EXCITEMENT. We espied what had to be Colin! He of the Lake! This would also signify the turnaround point, subject to negotiating the sploshing section without falling in. Despite his wait, he was in good spirits, and up for some pond posing and parkrun posing all of which had to be done. It was all very jolly and satisfactory. I like the picture with the reflections best, but you can choose your own. Sort of like the Lady of the Lake if the Lady was called Colin and the Lake was a pimped up puddle. I think they should make this a permanent feature of the course, it added a certain panache to parkrun proceedings.

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We scurried on by past Colin of the Lake, and onwards beside yet more football pitches. There are lots. There was a little trail of yellow arrows in the ground to follow, like breadcrumbs through a wood and we only had one moment of hesitancy when we looked behind us for reassurance from Colin. He was coming along behind us plucking arrows from the ground like so many swords from a stone (or is that a different story), and gestured for us to veer left. I’ve checked about the swords by the way. I couldn’t bear to think of you having to do that yourself. I’ve found out that ‘Excalibur was for from the Lady of the Lake. The Sword in the Stone (that Chooses the King) is a different sword. It’s typically called Caliburn to differentiate it from Excalibur, but that fails miserably as Caliburn is simply the Latin for Excalibur. But in any case, they are two seperate swords.’ So now we know, and our lives are immeasurably the richer for it. Immeasurably as in too small to measure rather than too big, but every little helps as the advertising professionals would have us believe, so parkrunpedia prevails.

After a bit, we found ourselves back at the quagmire of peril, where there was still a team of high vis heroes to see us safely through. My tailwalking buddy did a somewhat melodramatic slalem, but regained her balance if not entirely her dignity and lived to faceplant in the mud another day. We were gathering quite a merry troop to accompany us by this point, and parkrun was all the merrier for it. The outstanding directional pointing also prevented us from continuing straight onwards and into the river. Excellent work all round, all the volunteer marshals were absolutely on point today, as no doubt they are every parkrun day to be fair, but good to have it on the record all the same.

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