ea-Zee does it Zielony Jar parkrun

I might burst. No really, I was just so excited at the prospect of getting to Poland, not just to bagsy a Zee, but to go adventuring and to meet with international parkrunners AND get to know my new parkrun besties from Huddersfield parkrun a bit better. Not gonna lie, a bit apprehensive, but mostly super keen. Not scared just EXCITED. Eazee to confuse the too.

Look where we went, and it was all I hoped for and more! Oh yes indeedy, simply the best, as has been sung before!

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But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start at the very beginning, it’s a very good place to start. The plan came about from me being introduced to some llama leggings I think. Something like that anyway. I was at Huddersfield parkrun for their 500th event, with my giraffe, as one does, and met up with friends I hadn’t made yet but felt like I knew already. Shouty Lady – to whom I’d given a shout out in a remotely written run report for Endcliffe parkrun back in October 21, little imagining one day we’d be off on a parkrun holiday together – , a friend of a friend parkrun ambassador, oh and a fellow parkrun tourist who I’ve met a few times but forgot had Huddersfield parkrun as her home event. Anyway, turns out they are all huge fans of llama leggings and – get this – even though they are called llama leggings they have actual giraffe ones, that pretty much have my name on them, what with me and my emotional support giraffe Geronimo often to be found hanging out together. Honestly, I’m not quite sure how we went from that exchange, to planning a trip to visit a parkrun Poland, but it will be both parkrun logical and parkrun inevitable to most parkrun passionistas. Essentially we bonded over parkrun, fancy dress and fabulous leggings I suppose, and one thing led to another. It is the parkrun way. In our case, it led to z-chasing in Poland. Hurrah!

I just, sheep-like, went along with what everyone else suggested. We want to do the same things anyway, and with a parkrun at the epicentre of our plans there was unlikely to be a clash of priorities. We settled on Krakow. Basically, it was easy to get flights to there from Manchester, and once landed there were many parkruns in reach – including a Z – so less angst inducing if there were any cancelling on the day. Hurrah. Then we found a date and ‘suddenly’ it was booked and happening. Turns out, there are a couple of fabulous organisers/ leaders in the Huddersfield parkrun set, and who am I to undermine their talents by showing any initiative? Without followers there would be no leaders after all, and I was only too happy to oblige. Yes, I do worry sometimes where my compliance might lead, but so far it’s led to fine adventuring and unexpected turns which has enriched my life rather than leading to my joining a cult. Unless you count parkrun as a cult of course? But it’s clearly #notacult because I’ve been told that, a lot. And even if it is a teensy bit, it is for the most part a benign one.

Our destination would be Zielony Jar parkrun. Fortunately, google automatically translated their official parkrun webpage with information about the course, and better still, the translation is absolutely adorable, just look at their official webpage blah de blah:

route description – The route consists of four laps leading through two parks “Zielony Jar” and the Pocket Park “Osiedle Na Stoku” along paved alleys. The start and finish are in the same place, ie at the stage/amphitheater in the “Zielony Jar” park. The meeting place for participants is located near the start and finish. The profile of the route is slightly demanding, because the sum of the elevation gains is almost 80 meters.

Amenities – The covered stage in the amphitheater allows you to hide your personal belongings. Near the start there are exercise equipment, a children’s park (swings, slides, merry-go-rounds, etc.), benches with tables to rest, a fenced football/basketball court and an outdoor children’s pool.

Launch location – The start and finish are located at the stage/amphitheater in the “Zielony Jar” park.‘

They have a launch location and an amphitheatre, this is going to be splendid! There are tables you can rest at and an ice cream parlor. Why let snow get in the way of frozen treats after all.

Wait, there’s more – the course looks like this:

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In the spirit of just going along with what everyone else was doing, and knowing I’d be walking anyway, I got in touch with the team by email to offer to volunteer. SUCH A POSITIVE RESPONSE. Even a blue heart emoji, this is living the dream in terms of anticipatory parkrun positivity!

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Just when you think you couldn’t love them any more! They also forewarned me – with a twinkle in their eye (can an email have a twinkle? I’ve decided that Yes! It can!) that this is the ‘most difficult parkrun in Poland‘.

Oh. Really? Erm, wasn’t quite sure what to make of that, but hey ho. And wait? What fresh joy is this. ZUMBA! Granted, they were apologising for the lack of it, but turn that on its head in a half full rather than half empty way, this means that this Polish parkrun has a Zumba warm up role as part of its weekly parkrunday offer. This is beyond awesome. Look! The camera never lies, these are from the parkrun Zielony Jar Facebook page so it must be true! And what’s more, is that actual snow I see. OMG, this is the parkrun that keeps on giving. Cold might not be super fun, but snow very much is!

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I was pretty sure we’d be able to improvise something as an alternative. Zig Zagging on the icy paths perhaps? We would see…

One thing was for sure, this parkrun party was happening. I did have some moments of wondering if it was maybe a bit weird to go away to a foreign land with people you hardly know, but then again, once you have a parkrunner’s Athlete ID that’s all you need. Some Tralee parkrunning friends of mine said their only thing they needed to know about their offsprings’ potential romantic partners was whether they were registered parkrunners and what their home parkrun was. Fair enough. Besides, past experience strongly suggests I’ll be the one with the peculiar eccentricities, I’m pretty sure I snore for a start, I have perfected all sorts of amusing and diverting/decidedly annoying* (*delete as appropriate) tics from living on my own unchallenged for decades and what’s more, I’ll certainly be the slowest out on course, so more of a risk to them than they to me :). To be fair, this very concern was shared by one of my most recent house guests. Have I mentioned recently that I rent rooms out to people working at the Sheffield Theatres? It’s been life enhancing on the whole, so many anecdotes created and shared. Anyway, one of my most recent lodgers arrived with a day in hand so I insisted on taking him out to Stanage Edge because I think a trip out to one of the peak district’s most iconic edges should be mandatory for any first timer in Sheffield. It was as we were driving out to the moors he commented ‘my mum wanted to know how I could be sure you wouldn’t murder me?‘ Leaving aside my abject horror at being old enough to be a parent to this grown up, I had to point out I’d not previously considered this, but now he came to mention it…. Stranger Danger is still a thing apparently. Anyway, I don’t think of a mandatory trip to the Peak District as abduction as such, more a public service. And he didn’t put up all that much of a fight, even though it was a bit of a squeeze in the boot what with all my litter picking paraphernalia already in there. There were even paragliders when we got there, just like in this photo taken by the amazingly gifted Phil Sproson – it’s from October last year. Sometimes I can’t quite believe what glories are just a few miles away from where I live. Get out there and stride about people, it restores the soul.

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Back to Poland!

Acknowledging we’d not really met up before, we were hoping to gather at Scunthorpe parkrun early in the New Year. Not just for the smutty words parkrun challenge (childish but true) but reachable for them from Huddersfield and me from Sheffield. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen, snow and ice and scary driving conditions meant I bottled it. Oh well, we’d meet at the airport – except – spoiler alert, we had a pre meet! Very excitingly, when I headed to Sheffield Castle parkrun who should I meet, but one of my Polish bound parkrunner buddies bearing gifts. She was volunteering as tailwalker and had espied me on the roster too. I had employed no such initiative, so was hugely, and pleasantly, surprised to see her. The gift she bore was in the form of llama leggings, which confusingly, in fact had actual giraffes on them. Unlike llamas (and alpacas and guanaco and vicuna and camels) Giraffes aren’t even part of the camelid family, though weirdly the latin name for the Northern Giraffe is Giraffa camelopardalis. Weird. Oh hang, OMG there was yet more, llama leggings with giraffes on them AND a matching scrunchie. We would all have them, it would be our matchy matchy kit, and to be honest, I was almost as excited about getting to wear my leggings for the first time as getting a z for my parkrun alphabet! It took not inconsiderable willpower to hold back from wearing them straight away I don’t mind admitting.

And then we were on a meet up roll. Next stop Nelson 555 at Concord parkrun and then all over again at Hillsborough parkrun #444 we really must carry on meeting like this. It’s fab.u.lous!

And then, finally it was nearly time to go. What to pack? As little as possible, I’d travel in my parkrun gear, and Red Ted was attached to my walking pole. A million barcodes, a smothering of thermal underwear my favourite hat, and that was about it. At last, the morning dawned – early rise as off to Manchester airport paranoically early. I’ve never driven there before, and didn’t really want to, but there would be no trains after my flight back, so it was drive or have to sort out some accomodation.

Up, and finally, I got to officially wear my llamaleggingswhicharen’tllamasatallbutgiraffeones #llamaleisure

Oh. My. Gawd. About the leggings, before I tried them on, I couldn’t really grasp why people rave about them so much and have so many different pairs – a pattern for any and every occassion. Once I’d had a little go – just to check they fitted ok obvs – I totally got it. Soft and comfy and with pockets. Of course you’d want loads of pairs! Then again, once I’d put them on in the morning for this Polish trip, they have stayed on 24/7 ever since, so maybe the real question is why would you ever need another pair when once on, you don’t want to take them off. I’m now a believer, and happy to be 25% of the legs of Llama Leisure’s recent Facebook post, which immortalises our Poland parkrun jaunt in the marketing archives of llama leisure. It’s a start on the pathway to worldwide fame I suppose. After all, I’m in most excellent company! All I need now is a discount code, and to be persuaded to change into a new pair of leggings. The thing is though, I do really, really like the giraffe ones. Nothing beats having the tallest living terrestrial animal and the largest ruminant on earth etched on your legs after all. Well, actually, having a family of warthogs might, but inexplicably I don’t think they’ve got around to doing that print yet. Never mind, I’m sure it’s only a matter of time, if they want me to endorse their merch, there needs to be some give and take on both sides. Still, fabulous pins all round though I think you can agree. We rock this look like a hurricane! Plus, easy to find each other at the airport.

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I was really worried about the drive to the airport but in fact it wasn’t too bad. I’d prepaid for parking but was thwarted on trying to enter the carpark as the number plate recognition didn’t work. No worries, I had printed out my booking form and buzzed through to the nice man who lives in the carpark. I confidently stated my situation, and after some faffing, he asked me to repeat my number plate again, which I did. Oops, that’s not what I’d typed in with my fat fingers apparently. Oh well, a little token popped out like a copper coin from a penny arcade only more plasticy – this would allow me to exit, and up came the barrier. I had to drive around for ages, sweating, before finally finding one last space which was a really tight squeeze as it was sandwhiched between what were essentially two monster trucks. What I’d have done if there were no spaces at all I just don’t know, it was precarious, but hey ho, in safely. Really short walk to the terminal and phew, I was in.

I was also ridiculously early, so settled down for a wait, exchanging messages with the Heavenly Huddersfielders to get real time updates as to their progress.

SO EXCITING.

And then, at last, we were all together in the giddying embrace of Manchester airport, which was a lot nicer than I remembered it. Then again, last time I went it was pretty much post apocolyptic hell on earth, mid rebuild – possibly even a differet airport. Now it was all spacious clean and even had places to sit! I’m sure there was a photo of Red Ted and RD Ted checking out the departures board, but I can’t find that now, they were excited too though, fyi. Anyway, cue photo dump of excitedly gathering at airport. Turns out, waiting at an airport is waaaaaay more fun when surrounded by parkrun buddies than when all on your lonesome. Who knew? Oh, and wait, I do have photos, thanks to emergency rapid response facebook messaging service! Phew.

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What’s that? It seems to be taking me rather a long time to get to the actual parkrun? Dear reader, you think the waiting is bad! Try being us in the weeks between booking the flights and making it to this point. I have missed so many planned parkruns due to pandemic (Poland; Malmo and a gazillion cancelled uk ones); surgery then illness I was in a state of permanent heightened alert in anticipation of some unexpected horror that might have prevented us from going. I’m sure you can cope with a few minutes of delayed gratification. Delayed gratification is totally not my preferred thing either, but sometimes needs must. Incidentally, did you know that being unable to delay gratification in anticipation of a greater reward later on is associated with psychopathic traits according to some research. Just sayin’. Sociopaths and Psychopaths r us would have to fast forward. Even so, worth mentioning you don’t really have to wait, you can always just scroll down to the ‘good bits’ – assuming there are some still to come, but honestly, at this point, who knows. In fact who amongst us ever really knows anything at all now I come to think of it. So many mysteries in life…

Where was I. Oh yes, about to board a plane.

Guess where we were going! Only actual Krakow in actual Poland!

We were protected for our journey not only by our parkrun wrist bands, but some wrist band keep sakes supplied by one of our number and chosen with great care. Thank you :). So one of us supplied llama leggings, one supplied personally chosen wrist bands and one basically booked all the accommodation and flights. One of us didn’t. But they did remember to pack Red Ted and bring along a copy of ‘How parkrun changed our lives’. Maybe it was a case of from each of us according to our ability. I felt somewhat lacking in terms of my actual contribution to be fair, but I did bring along considerable gratitude and enthusiasm, and perhaps that counts for something too! Oh no, another missing photo of our wrist bands. You’ll have to just take my word for it. This is terrible though, it’s like we are actually supposed to remember things in our head, instead of having lots of pictures on our facebook pages. This is like the bad old days when great swathes of our history went undocumented for decades at a time. I mean, some things can be communicated, but if I don’t find a photo of that little dog we saw… it frankly doesn’t bear thinking about! Some things just have to be seen to be believed. If you know, you know!

The plane journey was for the most part unremarkable, though not the smoothest of rides. And although I say ‘unremarkable’ it is actually pretty remarkable that we all piled into this little aluminium or whatever tin can thingy and flew through the air up high and landed the other side of the sea, so let’s not take such daily minor miracles for granted shall we. Then we arrived! It was cold, it was dark, but we were here! Snow on the ground, well what was once snow compacted into mucky icy patches, but you take my point. Super exciting. Part one of mission Zee accomplished. The llamas had landed!

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The next challenge was getting to the apartment. There is a taxi rank right where you arrive, but instead we went for the uber option. This seemed like a grand idea, but because of the veritable army of vehicles about, it prooved incredibly difficult to spot our actual uber, not helped by our traipsing off in completely the wrong direction to meet it. When our driver and we finally met up, he was decidedly grumpy. Turned out, this was because the confusion meant he’d stayed too long in the pick up area so had to pay extra on exit. We paid the fee in cash (I say ‘we’ but I think we all know that I wasn’t massively proactive in sorting any of this). Our ambassadorial leader sat in the front trouble shooting, and the rest of us squidged companionably in the back of the taxi peering out into the dark and cold night.

The journey wasn’t all that long, and was fun because we were all together, but would have been angst inducing alone. It was pitch out, and for reasons I still can not entirely fathom because it was different on the return, our route out from the airport took us down seeming dirt roads where we bumped about alarmingly. Maybe this is what it felt like for my lodger in the boot of my car? Split four ways though, the 20 minute journey was super cheap – £10.40 in total. So no brainer to get an uber really, hassle free option, I daresay others have done things even more cheaply by public transport, but I was happy to get into a taxi and be magicked to our destination.

And what was your destination? I hear you cry. Well, it was an apartment, picked for being not too far from anything between old and new towns and pretty near the parkrun too. There were detailed instructions of how to get in on arrival. Well, that all looks jolly straight forward, hurrah!

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Teensy problem, on arrival, in the pitch dark, it seemed a somewhat sinister location. Think atmospheric film set for some sort of dark, edgy thriller. Nobody is coming out of this alive. Graffiti daubed buildings, and huge thick inpenetrable doors with grids and brutalist overtones. If I’d been on my own I’d have cried and wet myself. Getting in, was a challenge worthy of any escape room. There was a code by the intercom, but in the dark it was nigh on impossible to read, and it took several attempts before we made our way through the door…

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… and into a freezing hallway which seemed like we’d entered a parallel universe and found ourselves in a long derelict building in a different time zone. I couldn’t fathom if it was times long gone or a future age where all that remained of once grand buildings were screaming ghosts and half formed memories. Never mind, it would be fine. There seemed to be loads of keysafes at every doorway we came to, we tried our second code on each ane every one. Nothing. Zip. Just endlessly rolling numbers like a broken one armed bandit. This did not bode well

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We staggered to the end of the hall, and to yet another door Passing through and found ourselves in a sort of hidden courtyard. Hurrah, surely this must be where we were supposed to be. A huge rusted iron spiral staircase towered up one side, abandoned bikes chained to it’s base. It was atmospheric, but unnerving. We found the next door ajar and entering went up some steps. More key safes. It was like trying to find the holy grail in amongst all those storage containers at the end of whichever Indiana Jones film that was! We found a door that looked like it should be ours, but no means of entry. We scurried up and down stairs and passages trying the entry codes everywhere but to no avail. I stepped back a bit and watched the adventure unfold. Not sure what I could offer in the way of practical assistance, I went for the keeping out of the way option. After all, a wise woman once said ‘it’s not helpful unless you are actual helping‘. I have found this to be good advice, too often unheaded! As I was gazing about, I espied a further hidden keysafe we hadn’t yet tried. Why would we, it was adjacent to a completely different door to the one we actually wanted to enter. I punched in the code without saying a word, after all, what were the chances I’d be lucky where so many before me (well, three to be precise) had repeatedly failed? Well dear reader. You won’t believe this only you better had… it was like Arthur removing the sword in the stone, there was a distinctive clunk and the key toppled from its hiding place into my hand! I felt like an absolute conquering hero. Of course it was unadulterated genius on my part, and not at all an accident of fate.

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Not gonna lie, a bit of a collective sigh of relief too. We were tired from our travels, and it was just borderline getting to the not actually very funny any more stage. Phew, we were in!

Oh wow, it was like entering another world. The apartment was properly amazing. Boiling hot, immaculately clean and extremely well fitted out. Fancy furnishings, including a weird feathered light fitting thing. Oooh, this was a proper adventure. Honestly, if I’d been coming alone I’d have played it safe and gone for a hotel, but this atmospheric, beautifully equipped apartment, now we were actually safely in, was way nicer and a lot more fun. Hurrah! Almost a shame we’d hardly be in it. There was one room with two double beds, a further room with just one double bed and then the living room had a sofa which opened up into a small dble/ large single. Well lush. So cosy as well, I couldn’t believe how much heat was blasting out. I could totally live here, at least until spring anyway.

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We explored the flat, oohed and aahed over all the soft furnishings, divied up the rooms – I got one to myself #livingtheantisocialdream and then after some generic faffery, we opted to head out for the evening for some gentle exploring. None of us wanted a late night, but we did want to explore a little and get something to eat.

We headed down the stairs, and were spat out of our spooky looking apartment onto the icy streets – after we’d worked out how to get out of that huge door again. This was even harder than getting in, did survivalist preppers work out the entry system for this building I wonder? I had to pinch myself at being actually in Poland. The walk was brief, we passed by some cannabis shops – is that legal here then? ‘Medical’ CBD presumably is – and nearby was a marijuana light variant on offer, presumably for any weight watchers out there.

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When we arrived at the main touristy old square it was gorgeous. Stunning architecture surrounded the square. The outer areas of the square were filled with brightly lit outdoor covered restaurants with surrounding greenery making it look positively christmassy. As we walked along we were greeted by various people trying to entice us in. It was clearly very touristy, but you know what we were tourists and it was very nice. We eventually did pick one and pile in and tried dumplings which were properly amazing mushroom filled morsels of delight. The veggie options weren’t brilliant, but the soup I had, mushroom, served in a bowl carved out of lovely bread, the ultimately comfort food. Lovely. Periodically, blanket covered tourists taking rides in the back of horse drawn carriages clip clopped past – the horses, not the tourists. It was all very atmospheric. We wandered back, gazing in awe at the towering basillica and other extraordinary buildings that surrounded us, I had no idea that it was such an impressive city. My bad.

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We were happy bunnies indeed.

Back to our temporary home, and then it was but one more sleep before it was actual international parkrun day. What’s more, it would come around even more quickly than usual, because the clocks had all jumped forward an hour. I know, this was the trip that kept on giving!

So we went to bed, and then we woke up and it was PARKRUNDAY!

It was an early start, but we were all super excited and bouncing about in our matchy matchy outfits in good time. We fell out into the street, admiring our digs in daylight, and onto the pavement outside awaiting our second uber of the trip. The Happy Huddersfield trio took the opportunity to do quite a major workout to keep warm. Surely this would have more than made up for missing out on the parkrun Zumba for this week. This Uber to parkrun was £7.25. Bargain.

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It’s weird being driven about and not knowing where you are going, we ended up being dropped off near a load of high rise flats in the most unpromising of locations but uh, ok. Quick snoop about and then, OMG a parkrun flag. This is really happening now. SO EXCITING!

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By the way, have you noticed our matchy matchy apricot parkrun tops to go with our matchy matchy llama leggings? It just seemed appropriate for our journeying to wear ones from our home parkruns in the UK. One of our number was sad because she had got jam on her apricot tee and it was now stained. However, turns out – get this – it is actually stained with jam that landed on her top whilst at the parkrun ambassadors’ conference last year, so it is in fact parkrun ambassadorial jam, quite probably parkrun ambassadorial apricot jam to boot, so if anything, that enhances her top rather than detracts from it. It’s practically a sacred artifact now, certainly iconic. She should probably frame it for safekeeping, but having said this, I was super excited to get to see that parkrun tee for myself. Sigh, it’s basically like being anointed with apricot jam, very special indeed. And doesnt the high vis and Run Director wonky bear set it off beautifully? Hurrah!

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We couldn’t scurry our way down to the park quickly enough. Soon we were greeted by the sight of an arched erm – well I guess ‘amphitheater’. They had a similar one when I went to Hasenheide parkrun in Berlin, I’d never seen such a structure before, but maybe they are a think in this part of the world. A huge stage with a sweeping arch of heavily graffitied concrete at the back and sides creating shelter of sorts in a brutalist way. The back drop was of bare black trees and the remnants of snow, giving the space a sort of monochrome look. However, as is the parkrun way, little figures in high vis, burdened with cones and signs were busying themselves about the park getting the course set up.

We were actually, properly here! I thought I might burst. I never really thought this day would come! We were pretty early, and knowing overseas parkruns often operate on a ‘just in time principle‘ in relation to turning up, it was impressive to see such activity early on. We were all massively over excited. Imagine a small child on a sugar and food colouring high who has just snorted a line of caffeine and sherbet and bounced around on a trampoline. Got that? Well, that was nothing compared to how excited we were, you need to multiply that by a gazillion and then quadruple it, because the energy and excitement sparked between us like electricity pylons, still live, falling into water. Nobody in the world has ever been more excited than we four this morning. And I’m including when I got a high five from Harry Gration at the start of the Sheffield Half Marathon one year. I know. That excited. Hard to believe. Scary perhaps too, but true!

After a little hesitation, partly due to ice and snow, we scampered down a little slope to the amphitheatre area. Oh my, so many things. Same but different. The lovingly laid out finish line with tape. An actual parkrun urn! Sweet treats as well. A selfie sign, welcoming volunteers. Oh, and signs, so many customised signs to explore. We were warmly greeted by a lovely volunteer who apologised that as we were early their official translator hadn’t yet appeared. She did this in perfect English pretty much. I never even learned to say ‘thank you’ in Polish. It is both handy and mortifying, that for the most part, those we met had near perfect English. I felt shamed at my inability to speak only English, and frankly that often eludes me in times of need. The absence of the interpreter did not stop play. We launched ourselves into photo taken, high vis grabbing and selfie posing. Just like every parkrun everywhere!

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This was beyond excellent, but wait there’s more. Check out the signs, each a new cause of delight and celebration, but one in particular delighted me beyond all the rest. Here be squirrels, not just grey squirrels but actual red ones. If I could see one of them it would be the cherry on the icing on the cake, but surely too much to hope for. Still, no harm in doing some posing. Then we did posing with the volunteers. Then more tourists arrived, I think it ended up about half tourists from the UK and half authentic Polish parkrunners. Some had come on public transport without difficulty, and one couple had also had a bit of a performance getting into their pre booked apartment. Perhaps it is some sort of informal initiation ceremony or rite of passage for incoming tourists? Then our interpreter arrived, a junior with a huge enthusiasm for speaking English and coming to England one day and using an oyster card and travelling on the tube. I wonder why an oyster card is such a cause of fascination, I was kicking myself for not having brought one with me. I had one in my wallet but discarded it as unnecessary to take to Poland so nearly did have one to pass on. It was amazing to have someone to explain and interpret. The welcome was just extraordinary. I think the team may have been a bit bewildered as to why we were all coming over – especially as right now it is winter so in their eyes not massively appealing (in our eyes, there be snow and it be cheap) but they were so up for it. Could not have been more warm and accommodating. They joined in the posing and photographing too. All possible variations were snapped I think before we were done. Here we go, feast your eyes on these shenanagins:

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The sun was out, our hearts were full. The ground was packed with ice. We were told again that this was the toughest parkrun in all of Poland, I was struggling to believe this. I think they must have meant in relation to elevation, but the park seemed pretty flat. For us Yorkshire lasses it takes more than a bit of an upward flat section to scare us – that ice though, the Event Director amongst us remarked she’d have had no hesitation cancelling with similar conditions at home. Lucky for us she was tail walker and not RD here today!

We had a bit of a confab about what to do with the parkrun book, magazine and parkrun lanyards. We’d assumed we’d pass them on to the event RD but we weren’t sure where he was. Also, we didn’t know who it was who’d sent the cheery communications in advance. Oh the angst of it. In the end, we decided to pass them on to the lovely woman who had made us so welcome at the outset. Communication was a bit random, but she was super chuffed to receive the book on behalf of her parkrun. I’m not sure how they’ll share it around, or whether it will be launched round Poland as the original book did for Eileen’s bookrun relay, first during the pandemic a tag team delivered it from her home in the Lakes to PSH himself in Bushy park. Then other books have been journeying around the uk, it’s rather grand. You know what though, it doesn’t matter, it was just brilliant to have thought to bring something. Granted, part of the reason I thought to do so was because of the spectacular fail at Amager Straandpark parkrun where only one of the hundreds of visiting tourists had thought to bring a gift, and it seemed such a great gesture. Anyway, it was well received and again photos! We all inscribed the front cover, along with our parkrun id numbers. One of us, not me, had the simply brilliant idea of transcribing the polish for Caution Runners from their parkrun sign and adding ‘English’ in between. Creative genius she is.

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Wait though, there is a follow up for this, I let Eileen know about how I’d passed on my copy of the book whilst in Poland and how well that had been received, and she was so thrilled we not only made her bookrun relay Facebook page (that’s twice we’ve been Facebook famous in just one weekend) but also sent me a new inscribed copy all of my own. I was beyond thrilled. I’d resigned myself to having to buy a new copy but now I have one anyway AND it’s especially for me. Hurrah. I do feel like I ought to have a whole boxload of them, to distribute when touristing. So well received. Maybe I can stockpile the parkrun magazine instead, there are still copies kicking around and they weren’t produced outside of the UK as far as I’m aware. Anyway, check this out – the pic with all the inscriptions from parkrunners is especially cool:

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Are you still here? Oh good, I thought you might have given up on me with all this faffing before we even get to the run fun director’s briefing. Few basics. I don’t think there were any loos, we went just before coming and were ok, thankfully. There is a trolly in which you can leave your bits and pieces and which is also the start and finish area so feels pretty safe, there are always volunteers there. Arrive with time to take lots of photos. Expect to be welcomed with sweet and coffee. I was too worried about needing a pee to take advantage of this but it is a lovely tradition. It is a small parkrun in numbers although as has already been demonstrated it has a big heart. When we were there there were plenty of parkrunners around who could communicate in excellent English so it’s not a big culture shock. Having said that, the real beauty of parkrun internationally, is that you can rock up at a new event, and because it operates more or less the same way at every location – barring a few bits of personalisation and charming quirks that make each venue unique – you don’t need to worry too much about not understanding everything, as long as you have your barcode and aren’t expecting to be first finisher (I wasn’t) you’ll be reyt. There is some elevation, but not so as you’d notice by Yorkshire standards, the snow and ice though was a challenge. The field of participants was small, and to be honest, the regular Zielona Jar parkrunners were more the sporty athletic types who lead the field at UK events. They were definitely serious runners. Very friendly, but I don’t know quite what they made of a quartet of slightly hysterical middle aged women arriving, three ‘just’ to walk and one to go for it with more gusto. We made up the tailwalking/ parkwalking team between us, sort of marshaling each other.

After a bit we had the RD briefing/ first timers’ briefing. Our interpreter whispered his translation specially for the British/ English speaking tourists. The book got a shout out. We were told it was 4 and a bit laps. We were reminded it was the toughest parkrun in all of Poland.

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We gathered at the start, and soon we were off!

The fearless locals sprinted ahead, compacted ice and snow hold no fear for them. I was stomping along at the back, still in awe of actually being there, and wanting to inhale each and every moment. The course I found a little confusing, but not sure why. There was only one marshal, all the volunteers had multiple roles – so the interpreter was also time keeper and scanner too I think, and the person who received the book, set up the course and took lots of photos, also was the marshal on course. Small but might team here. The course was well signed, as as a four and a bit lapper, other parkrunners pass you which was jolly. It is a little pocket park of sorts, the trees against the snow looked impressive and gave it a more wild feel than you might expect from the urban surrounds. Food had been put out for birds, of which there were many. Snow on the ground was atmospheric, ice on the paths was scary. Weirdly you run past what are essentially corner shops, which were shut when we first arrived, but had clothing and cabbage displays outside as they started opening up around the time the parkrun began. There was so much to look at, it was all very distracting. A friendly vibe. We made slow progress, but in our defence, we kept being distracted by exciting things. There was the turn around point where we met up with our actually running Huddersfield parkrunner, and all the things.

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You know what, it was just like a ‘normal’ parkrun, except we were in POLAND!

The first lap I started heading towards the finish area as I’d assumed we ran past that each time but no! I was shooed away, ‘it’s a four lap course’ they called out to me. Not mistaking me for first finisher then. The second lap we were really delayed though because, guess what we say. Only ACTUAL RED SQUIRRELS. OMG I nearly wet myself I was so excited. They are super cute. I love my chunky grey squirrels at home, but there is no disputing the delicate beauty of these tufty rodents. Although ‘red’ they were so dark, they looked almost black.

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As we passed at the end of our second lap, I was trying to communicate about having seen the squirrels and there was some crossed communication meaning that my enthusiasm for what I’d seen was taken as confirmation that we were embarking on our last lap. We weren’t. Oops.

There were consequences from this, as we came round again, they tried to call us to the finish, and we had to persuade them we knew we still had another lap to go. Not gonna lie, they were a bit uncomprehending about this ‘that’s impossible’ came the shout back. I don’t think they are used to walkers being so slow. They weren’t being stroppy, but just concerned we were going wrong on the course and further than we needed too. I think with their regular participants being very much runners rather than walkers they couldn’t entirely compute our speeds. Still, all good natured. Especially as by now they were pretty cold and we’d got their hopes up that we were nearly finished earlier on. All my bad. Oh the shame!

Off we went round again. We met a confused marshal who was mid course take down and completely mortified when she realised we were still out there. It was fine, we knew the way and I knew it was me who’d created the misunderstanding in the first place. Honestly, you can’t take me anywhere! Then again, if it weren’t for me finding the keys, we’d still be stood outside that apartment block, trapped in limbo and by now definitely needing the loo, so swings and roundabouts eh. Also, others stood as human cones to guide the way for our final lap. It was all exceedingly jolly and joyful! What larks eh.

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The last lap though – or was it the penultimate one? Actually, I have no idea, it’s all a bit of a blur, all that running round in circles I expect, and gazing about. But, those of us who were chootling (chatty pootling) at the back saw the most amazing thing ever. This image will be seared on the back of my eyeballs for ever. It is the stand out extraordinary sight from this Polish parkrun, the funniest thing I’ve ever seen bar none! This dog though. Had to be seen to be believed. Here the pictures have to do the talking, words cannot convey nor reproduce the impact! Those little feet though, in their little shiny shoes. Poor pooch! I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so I did both. If ever you need taking out of yourself, just save these pictures to go back and look at from time to time. I defy anyone not to be distracted from their darkest thoughts by this extraordinary sight!

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and finally, back through the finish to great cheers of relief as much as respect, to be timed and scanned and welcomed home. Job done!

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Weirdly, it felt a bit sad finishing, I’m really suffering from separation anxiety at present, maybe I’ll grow out of it one day. The core team busied themselves putting stuff away. And it was time to wave goodbye.

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Pretty much everyone else had dispersed at this point which is their bad because they missed out on more fun things.

Specifically, snow angels! I couldn’t be surrounded by so much snow and not indulge. Our interpreter was making his way home across the park and accompanied us on our search for the perfect spot. He waved goodbye and we espied a bank. It maybe wasn’t my brightest idea to get myself up there, but it was one of my funnest. I did my best in the snow, which was a bit too compacted for full effect, but you get the gist I’m sure. On reflection, possibly should have got my agent to veto the less than flattering angles, but all the best human self expression requires you to give of yourself utterly. Why not my snow angel as well?

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And then it really was time to go home. An uber back to our apartment cost but £6.50. Crazily cheap, but confusingly differently priced. We were back in not time and trundled into the apartment to change before heading out again for post parkrun breakfast. Turns out, it was just as hard getting into our apartment in daylight as it was in the dark, but we managed. We headed off to a coffee shop at the end of the road we’d spotted the day before. Red Ted was somewhat shocked by some of the street ornamentations…

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The breakfast we ha was pretty sensational, excellent coffee and huge breakfast portions. Hilariously – for us, not for him – there was another uk visitor in the queue in front of us ‘have you been to parkrun?’ he enquired. ‘why yes!‘ we chorused with enthusiasm, ‘how about you?’. Poor guy, he’d come all the way to Krakow with his family, was a keen parkrunner and just hadn’t thought it would be doable to combine the trip with a parkrun. He looked a bit crushed as we were the personification of what might have been. So near and yet so far. I guess he’ll just have to come back. To be fair, I’d like to come back again as well, so not too much of a hardship.

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They really know how to do a toastie, pretty much a scooby snack in truth, and all the better for it!

And that was that, parkfaffery concluded. For now.

Oh, and I nearly forgot one of the other best bits from doing a Polish parkrun – you get your results email and ‘thank you for volunteering’ emails in Polish! Well of course you do, it being in Poland and all, but it sort of added to the thrill of the adventure. Hope you get a new language in your parkrun results emails one day too!

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You can as always continue your parkrun pondering if you wish by browsing through all my parkrun related posts here.  Or not.  It’s up to you.  You’ll need to scroll down for older entries though and forward for more recent ones.

It was not of course the end of our Krakow adventure, but I won’t go into that here and now. What I will say is that we loved exploring the city on foot. We did take a tour out to Auschwitz and Birkenau on the Sunday. Of course that was a complete change of mood, and difficult though important to include.

We found the castle, the cathedral but alas no dragons. I lost my favourite hat in a coffee shop, but mercifully it was still there where I’d left it the next day, which whilst reflecting badly on the attention to detail there cleaning wise, was a joyous reuniting for me.

Get yourself to Poland. It really was the most extraordinary trip. It felt like we’d been away for ages, but really it was just within a weekend. It was fun connecting with new people, and of course it was nice to bagsy a Z, yet ultimately, if it were not for parkrun I’d probably never have got around to visiting Poland and taking the sobering trip out to Auschwitz either. parkrun tourism might provide the catalyst to go exploring, but the ripples from such adventuring go so very much wider.

Thanks so much to the Polish parkrunners for welcoming us with such enthusiasm, I hope so much they make it over to the UK one day and experience similar hospitality, they certainly deserve it and some. Thank you too my Huddersfield buddies for letting me gatecrash your parkrun voyaging, it was The Best. Special thanks to the taxi driver who did a kiss and fly drop off for us on the journey home. Lovely touch!

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Here’s to future adventures.

meantime, here’s a smorgasbord of snaps just to whet your appetite…

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You’re welcome 🙂

Thanks for staying the course.